Tuesday, June 30, 2009

LoV Midseason Awards

Well we’re halfway through the 2009 LoV season, so I figured that I would hand out some midseason awards. These were voted on by, well, me, myself, and I. If you don’t like the results, then try harder.

R(etard)OY – Duh. Nothing needs to be said here. This has become a lifetime achievement award. In fact, this award is going to be renamed the Steve Award at the end of this season. Lucky guy. I always wanted to have an award named after me.

Comeback Player of the Year – There’s not much competition here, so this will go to Todd Packer since he was M.I.A. for a while and has returned with a vengeance. Well, maybe not a vengeance, but some TP is > than no TP.

Rolaids Relief Award – El Padrino is the runaway winner here. He’s always there to save the day when we need a good chuckle and some solid HDH.

Cy Young (aka Pitcher of the Year) – I’ll give you 2 guesses for this one. And your first guess doesn’t count. Kod runs away with this award, for the 7th straight season. He’s like the Lance Armstrong of pitching, but I assume that he’s got bolth of his nutz.

Coach of the Year – This was a tough one, but it looks like spiff is the winner here. Currently spiff has the #1 FMLB team in the Y! league and the #2 team in the keeper league. He finished 3rd in the FNBA league, and 2nd place in the FFB Y! league this season. Add this to his legendary linking of poon, and it’s been a strong season so far for the spigook.

Lady Byng Trophy – I don’t really know what this, and I’m not gonna look it up. But Beth will probably win it since she’s the only “lady” here. So congratulations. You can keep your trophy in the closet with your skeletons so fmbeth doesn’t find out.

Defensive Player of the Year – Another runaway winner here for El Padrino. Noone at LoV gets defensive like EP gets defensive. He’s like MJ, Pippen, Rodman, and Mutombo all rolled into one. Except like 2 feet shorter. And not black. But other than that, just like that. If that makes sense.

MVP – This was the toughest award for the voters. But after counting, and then re-counting, and then re-re-counting, the MVP of the halfway point is jug. I guess we shouldn’t be surprised, I mean, it’s his era and all. It just goes to show that being a scientist is > than anything else.

470 comments:

1 – 200 of 470   Newer›   Newest»
Jugdish said...

suite

El Padrino said...

i posted a where's freak post then pulled it back when i saw this, great day for el pad pulling in two awards

blue said...

shunned again

Aitch said...

I feel like Susan Lucci

Aitch said...

I wonder if Freak was on that plane

Meiz said...

No more waiting.

Meiz said...

ISAS that there was no Meiz Is Pathetic type award.

Meiz said...

Any of you jokers have AT&T U-Verse?

Keith S said...

can't wait for steve's "we can name the chump award after you, keith" comment

Aitch said...

"ISAS that there was no Meiz Is Pathetic type award."

No need to state the obvious.

blue said...

AT&T is for losers

Keith S said...

"ISAS that there was no Meiz Is Pathetic type award."

I did this off of memory because I didn't have the file with me. The original had a mize is gay award, but I left that out of this.

Keith S said...

AT&T is the worse

Aitch said...

I shouldn't talk meiz. I'm on a bit of a cold streak. Haven't gotten laid in a week. I'm hurtin

Meiz said...

"AT&T is the worse"

What about U-Verse?

Aitch said...

H is getting new ink tonight. Very exciting.

Keith S said...

The last time mize only went a week without seeing pussy was when he was 1 week old.

wadr

Jugdish said...

they don't have u-verse in my neighborhood, but I've heard good things about it

Jugdish said...

H is getting new ink tonight. Very exciting


details...

Keith S said...

"What about U-Verse?"

What about it?

tem said...

"Haven't gotten laid in a week. I'm hurtin"

stop it.

blue said...

"What about U-Verse?"

is that by AT&T?

Jugdish said...

stop it.



everything is easier in life when you have tits tem

tem said...

is AT&T U-verse the tv thing?

Aitch said...

"details..."

Well I'm getting a cross in memory of my mom. That part's not so exciting. But I do love tattoos. Only my 3rd. I need more.

tem said...

i guess i need to get bigger tits.

tem said...

what are the other 2?

tem said...

i hope one is a bear humping a rhino.

nobody i know has a tat of a bear humping a rhino.

Keith S said...

what about a seal humping a penguin

Jugdish said...

i hope one is a bear humping a rhino.

hilarity

Aitch said...

"stop it."

Hey it is depressing to know Ep has gotten some more recently than me.

tem said...

"what about a seal humping a penguin"

well i've seen this, but not in tat form, so it would be suite too.

ToddPacker said...

"Comeback Player of the Year"

suite

Meiz said...

"is AT&T U-verse the tv thing?"

TV & interweb

El Padrino said...

h, get boston across your belly

Aitch said...

I have a tribal sun on my right shoulder and the kanji for singer on my right forearm

ToddPacker said...

what happened to h's ai diary?

tem said...

freak was put in charge of it.

Aitch said...

"h, get boston across your belly"

That would require a lot of time and ink...

Meiz said...

"h, get boston across your belly"


No. Get "Southie 4 Lyfe"

ToddPacker said...

"freak was put in charge of it."

oh... so it's going to be a youtube clip post

tem said...

something like that.

blue said...

freak is working on getting the sound right for the post

blue said...

he didn't hold the boom mic close enough to H

Aitch said...

Slow day in the cab

El Padrino said...

2B Felipe Lopez is rumored to be trade bait in a possible deal with Milwaukee.

tem said...

for who?

ToddPacker said...

"Slow day in the cab"

h, what blackberry do you have... i'm having issues trying to use mine for lov

Meiz said...

"2B Felipe Lopez is rumored to be trade bait in a possible deal with Milwaukee."


And Doug Davis

Aitch said...

Blackberry storm.

Try turning javascript off. You won't see people's pics, but the page should load more quickly and easily.

Meiz said...

"Trevor Hoffman notched career save #572 against the Mets, a day after Mariano Rivera picked up his 500th save against them. The Elias Sports Bureau reports that the Mets became the first team ever to be closed out by Hoffman and Rivera on back to back days."

Keith S said...

"The Elias Sports Bureau reports that the Mets became the first team ever to be closed out by Hoffman and Rivera on back to back days."

There are too many fucking stats

ToddPacker said...

"Try turning javascript off. You won't see people's pics, but the page should load more quickly and easily."

thanks... i'll try that

El Padrino said...

hoffman must have sweated out that 4 run lead, nice work by the old goat

Meiz said...

"Jerry Manuel said he's serious about having Oliver Perez piggyback Tim Redding's starts -- or vice versa, depending on the matchup -- once Perez makes a final rehab start Friday with Triple-A Buffalo. Manuel acknowledged that it would be challenging in the National League to have one pitcher go five innings and another four innings."



I've been calling for the Brewers to do this for 3 goddamn years.

Meiz said...

"hoffman must have sweated out that 4 run lead, nice work by the old goat"


Hoffman got a 1 pitch save. Villanueva was the one puking on his shoes last night.

El Padrino said...

filipino prisoners are back with a mj tribute

Keith S said...

"Manuel acknowledged that it would be challenging in the National League to have one pitcher go five innings and another four innings"


Maybe they can have F-Raud pitch to them.

Jugdish said...

I've been calling for the Brewers to do this for 3 goddamn years.



but they don't have perez or redding on their roster

El Padrino said...

"I've been calling for the Brewers to do this for 3 goddamn years."

anything for some w's, i dont care if each starter not named johan/pelfrey split games

Meiz said...

"There are too many fucking stats"


That's the best part about baseball. There's always the West Bend Silver Lining.

Jugdish said...

mEEz

blue said...

fucking rockies lost in 13 innings last night.

ToddPacker said...

"anything for some w's"

what's a w?

/mess

blue said...

i wonder if the mess could get willie randolph back

ToddPacker said...

willie is the worse*

ToddPacker said...

maybe bobby v

Meiz said...

"willie is the worse*"


Willie is a SAINT!

Meiz said...

"mEEz"


That thing looks really stupid

ToddPacker said...

"Willie is a SAINT!"

willie is a dirtbag yankee... always will be

El Padrino said...

top movie scenes with naked chicks

sfw

Meiz said...

Tem, Brewers might be looking at some Pirates pitching. Call your people, and tell 'em to give us Duke & Snell for Jeremy Jeffress and spare parts. Also, I'm gonna need the Rats to pick up some of Snell's contract.

Regards

Meiz said...

I just pawned the batshit crazy lady off on Asian guy. That's what you get for calling in sick on a Monday.

Keith S said...

they call me ho
they call me stacy
they call me her
they call me jane
that's not my name

tem said...

"Call your people, and tell 'em to give us Duke & Snell for Jeremy Jeffress and spare parts. Also, I'm gonna need the Rats to pick up some of Snell's contract."


i'll put the call in, but they won't want to trade either of those two.

would a LaRoche interest you?

H's #1 groupie said...

"everything is easier in life when you have tits tem"

This is amazingly true.

H's #1 groupie said...

"they call me ho
they call me stacy
they call me her
they call me jane
that's not my name"

No, your name is chump.

/steve

Meiz said...

"i'll put the call in, but they won't want to trade either of those two."


They've been trying to trade Snell for a while. He wants out. He asked to be demoted, for chris sake.

Meiz said...

"would a LaRoche interest you?"


I think 1B is pretty much set.

blue said...

what about a nyjer?

blue said...

somebody suggested the rockies trade for roy halladay

ok


why don't they trade for Johan and Beckett while they're at it.

maybe get the royals to throw in Greinke.

El Padrino said...

OGOchoCinco

What you know about putting your fit under the matress so you aint have to iron it the next day, i know i aint the only one, damn damn!

El Padrino said...

child please

Meiz said...

"somebody suggested the rockies trade for roy halladay"


I think every team has had that rumor swirl around this year.

Keith S said...

nerve used my mattress to iron my fit

Steve said...

"they call me ho
they call me stacy
they call me her
they call me jane
that's not my name"

No, you're name is chump.

/steve


*fixed

Keith S said...

beth already fixed that

Steve said...

"can't wait for steve's "we can name the chump award after you, keith" comment"

not even possible. they have the special olympics but chumps never win anything.


it's science.

Keith S said...

being in the special olympics isn't really something to brag about

blue said...

it's like arguing on the interweb.

even if you win, you're still ratarded.

Meiz said...

"being in the special olympics isn't really something to brag about"

What if you're a ratard?

El Padrino said...

fucking cunty, on a godamn wild goose chase

H's #1 groupie said...

"beth already fixed that"

Steve fixed it to change the correct "your" to the incorrect "you're".

He's right, no way would he type something without some HDH.

Steve said...

Unspeakable Things

Keith S said...

"What if you're a ratard?"

Then you shouldn't brag about anything

El Padrino said...

Your awarded prize

You have been awarded the sum of one Million Euros (€1,000,000.00) in the just concluded lottery program organized in Belgium.

Election was through computer balloting system drawn from private and business email addresses submitted by the various email webmaster. Your winning information´s are hereby listed below;

Reference Nr.UN11000, Batch N. A1000, Serial N. DI222-510
Ticket N.7710AA, lucky N. 3.5.9.10.8.

This email was sent to notify you officially about the award and to advise you to contact the processing office immediately for claim.

Please Contact Mr. Richard Babel for additional information and assistance.





suite, i'm a millionaire

Keith S said...

"He's right, no way would he type something without some HDH."

I missed that. Good fiz*

Keith S said...

Pickler is nice

Keith S said...

In memory of MJ’s death, McDonald’s is coming out with the new “McJackson”. It’s 50 year old meat between 12 year old buns.

Keith S said...

/ep

Steve said...

EP, have you seen this?

Meiz said...

Pickler is starting to look like she's been getting ravaged by Kid Rock for a while.

Keith S said...

so is your face

Steve said...

"Pickler is starting to look like she's been getting ravaged by Kid Rock for a while."


troof. plus, those country girls are supposed to be wholesome and what not. i'm looking forward to the sex tape and leaked pictures of her covered in blow and holding a bong.

Meiz said...

"so is your face"

So is her face.

Keith S said...

$.63 on the Mess tonight. I'm dumb

JFreak said...

I'm a ratard.

Apologies all around.

El Padrino said...

steve what Are you showing me?

Keith S said...

Hopefully it didn't ruin the Olive Garden

Keith S said...

"steve what Are you showing me?"

TWSS

El Padrino said...

"In memory of MJ’s death, McDonald’s is coming out with the new “McJackson”. It’s 50 year old meat between 12 year old buns."

funny

Steve said...

"steve what Are you showing me?"


that barstoolsports dude is looking for a blogger to run a NY version of the site.

you'll get paid to tell NYrs what a great city NY is.

Steve said...

Pennsylvania Student Sentenced to Five to 23 Months for Tasering Cop

El Padrino said...

putting my hat in the ring for that , thanks

blue said...

i'm signing up for the barstool sports gig as well

Spaceman Spiff said...

"Pickler is starting to look like she's been getting ravaged by Kid Rock for a while."

she has, she said theyve been secretly fucking for a year

Spaceman Spiff said...

'coach of the year'

fuck, that just means ill be awful next year and get fired

El Padrino said...

denver version?

brilliant

tem said...

"They've been trying to trade Snell for a while."

if they really wanted to trade him he would have been traded already.

tem said...

"I think 1B is pretty much set."

what about 3B? we have a LaRoche there too.

tem said...

"somebody suggested the rockies trade for roy halladay

ok


why don't they trade for Johan and Beckett while they're at it.

maybe get the royals to throw in Greinke."

good plan...all for tulo. straight up.

tem said...

" those country girls are supposed to be wholesome and what not."


not all country girls are wholesome.

maybe their outward appearance is, but some are freaks in the sack.

Spaceman Spiff said...

whitlock hated the hangover

tem said...

whitlock is close, but hate is a strong word.

Spaceman Spiff said...

whitlock also said that when serena is in shape, she's on beyonce's level. and that serena has a 'beautiful' face

jeebus chris he lost his mind

El Padrino said...

pretty like a gorilla

tem said...

whitlock is going for the ROY

blue said...

whitlock has lost all credibility


what's next, he's gonna go on Oprah

Meiz said...

"if they really wanted to trade him he would have been traded already."


I've heard he's a bad chemistry guy.

The Pirate's GM said he's been trying to trade him for months.

ToddPacker said...

"whitlock hated the hangover"

he said it was unrealistic... ROY for sure

ToddPacker said...

wwl dropping a "stay classy, san diego" on the front page made me laugh

blue said...

"I've heard he's a bad chemistry guy."

oh, so that's why the pirates have sucked since the days of Bonds, Bonilla, and Van Slyke...it's because of Ian Snell and his bad chemistry.


got it.

blue said...

pistones fired hot curry?

Meiz said...

"oh, so that's why the pirates have sucked since the days of Bonds, Bonilla, and Van Slyke...it's because of Ian Snell and his bad chemistry."


No, its because they're a terrible franchise.

blue said...

youre a terrible franchise

Jugdish said...

blue fired hot curry?



fixed

Keith S said...

"he said it was unrealistic... ROY for sure"

Anything is realistic in Vegas

Keith S said...

I use public toilets
and piss on the seat
I walk around in the summertime
saying how about this heat

El Padrino said...

"Steadman will recommend Beltran remain inactive through the All-Star break, as a result of a bone bruise."


phew!

Keith S said...

No wonder the Mess are so awful. Their doctor is Oprah's dude

El Padrino said...

everyone saw the 144MM simon cowell link i threw up on the odler post?

just making sure

it said 144MM a year

one hundred and forty four million

El Padrino said...

that's a good observation i missed that keef

El Padrino said...

Minnesota's Supreme Court has declared Democrat Al Franken the winner of the state's disputed U.S. Senate race.

Meiz said...

Who knows?

Meiz said...

"one hundred and forty four million"


I don't see any decimals in that number.



pet peeve

Keith S said...

"it said 144MM a year

one hundred and forty four million"


AI is mad popular, yo

El Padrino said...

who knows?

good link

El Padrino said...

avery johnson and doug collins vyeing for the piston job

blue said...

144mm/year is tiger woo money

blue said...

doug collins?

blue said...

mark jackson would be a good hire there.

or jvg

blue said...

they should ask d-wade who he wants to be coached by

blue said...

dumars: "i know we passed on you in 2003 and took darko instead, but you really will like playing in Detroit"

wade: "show me the money yo"

Meiz said...

"good link"


I'm seeing some pretty prominent Mess on that list.

H's #1 groupie said...

"I use public toilets
and piss on the seat
I walk around in the summertime
saying how about this heat"

Finally keith sings an accurate song (and I didn't even need to google those lyrics).

wadr

El Padrino said...

"I'm seeing some pretty prominent Mess on that list."

in 2003 they werent mets

Meiz said...

"in 2003 they werent mets"

so?

ToddPacker said...

"in 2003 they werent mets"

some were 2003 mets

H's #1 groupie said...

I'm just glad Larry isn't on that list, rumors or not.

Keith S said...

"Finally keith sings an accurate song "


That was intentional

ns

swear to god

ToddPacker said...

"67.Roberto Alomar
68.Cliff Floyd
69.Roger Cedeno"

mets in 2003

Keith S said...

The Mess were really good in 2003, too

Keith S said...

Mythbusters looked at the 2003 Mess and determined that steroids actually make you a worse baseball player

Tyler said...

When am I posting? Tomorrow or Friday?

El Padrino said...

"67.Roberto Alomar
68.Cliff Floyd
69.Roger Cedeno"

mets in 2003 and bags of shit

cept for uncle cliffy, loved uncle cliffy

Keith S said...

Has anyone ever signed with the Mess and played at the same level that they played at before they signed there?

Meiz said...

"Has anyone ever signed with the Mess and played at the same level that they played at before they signed there?"


Great question

ToddPacker said...

keith hernandez & gary carter

Keith S said...

Leave it to the old guy...

blue said...

not a name on that list that surprises me

except maybe Derek Lee

blue said...

Vince Coleman?

blue said...

that list is like a whose who of washed up players today

Tyler said...

You could also replace "Mess" with "Dodgers" and I wouldn't have a problem with it. They make terrible free agent signings as well. O-Dogg has been great this year, but in the last twenty years, that's been about it.

ToddPacker said...

"Leave it to the old guy..."

funny... i was goning to say jerry koosman

blue said...

"75.Mark Prior
76.Kerry Wood"

shit didn't work for them


lots of cubs on that list

Keith S said...

"funny... i was goning to say jerry koosman"

Jerry Koosman was a rookie with the Mess, I think.

blue said...

BB-Rod is one who is just as good as he was before singing with the mess

ToddPacker said...

"goning" is funny

blue said...

armando benitez

blue said...

no way, not Kenny Rogers...poophands was using roids....not possible


i'm calling bullshit

(s)

Keith S said...

"armando benitez"

Hilarity

ToddPacker said...

"Jerry Koosman was a rookie with the Mess, I think."

i think you are correct

Keith S said...

I think it was Koosman on the rookie card with Nolan Ryan

Tyler said...

Went to yesterday's comments. Found out I'm posting Friday. Thanks.

ToddPacker said...

also, carter and hernandez were not free agents when they signed with the mess...they were traded and later signed longer deals

ToddPacker said...

gotta let some people go next week... bad times

Jugdish said...

gotta let some people go next week... bad times



have blue do it

JFreak said...

"lots of cubs on that list"

It appears to be the entire 2003 Cubs roster.

That seems high.

El Padrino said...

"Has anyone ever signed with the Mess and played at the same level that they played at before they signed there?"

of course, recently

beltran
olerud
ventura
delgado
PIAZZA maybe, i dont know maybe Piazza did ok with the mets, i can't remember

El Padrino said...

"Went to yesterday's comments. Found out I'm posting Friday. Thanks."

when the fuck am i posting

Keith S said...

"of course, recently

beltran
olerud
ventura
delgado"


Beltrans numbers before NY >>>>> with NY
Olerud's numbers before NY >>>>> with NY
Ventura's numbers before NY >>>>> with NY
Delgado's numbers before NY >>>>> with NY

So stop it

Meiz said...

"when the fuck am i posting"


Today

Keith S said...

EP, you're posting tomorrow

JFreak said...

I'm posting tomorrow.

Meiz said...

I'd say Beltran has been the same

ToddPacker said...

"Beltrans numbers before NY >>>>> with NY"

not really

Meiz said...

Olerud looks the same

ToddPacker said...

"I'd say Beltran has been the same"

more HRs with the mess... and that was playing half his games at peter gammon favorite stadium

El Padrino said...

"Beltrans numbers before NY >>>>> with NY
Olerud's numbers before NY >>>>> with NY
Ventura's numbers before NY >>>>> with NY
Delgado's numbers before NY >>>>> with NY

So stop it"

wrong on delgado
wrong on beltran

i'll look at the others since they are retired now

but you wrong, delgado and beltran put up similar numbers pre-NY mets
in fact beltran hit a career high 41 hr's with the mets so you stop it

El Padrino said...

keef sucks

«Oldest ‹Older   1 – 200 of 470   Newer› Newest»

Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"





"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug





"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino





"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino