Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Effing Blogger Being Broke

Sorry for the late post, blogger was being a dirty whore this morning….and apparently last night…..



I hate it when my alarm wakes me out of a deep sleep. Usually I’m about to get up anyway, but not today. Today was not like that. Today might not be a good day. I am pretty sure it is a sign that I should have just called in sick and went back to bed. Woe.

Apparently there is not much baseball on Monday nights. It’s been like this for like 3 weeks in a row. Or at least that’s what I noticed. It probably is always like that. I am not what you would call perceptive. At least most of the time I am not. Sometimes I am pretty on the ball. In any case that damn Vasquez pitched well again. If the Braves ever play important games down the stretch he will choke…he is really born to be a Mess.

Not sure who owns some of the minor league teams that Manny is going to play for and against, but they are going to make some coin when he plays. I doubt he comes out this way to play, but if he does I’m going to go see him. Columbus has a brand new park which is apparently pretty nice. Gammons says it is better than Shea was.

Goddman this sports lull, there isn’t much to write about. Next week I am going to do a UFC preview. UFC 100 is coming up and it is a pretty good card….of course that means that the fights will mostly disappoint. They just had The Ultimate Fighter Finale last Saturday and 3 fights won fight of the night. They all deserved it. It was a really good night of fighting.

Screw it let’s just do a movie review and stop the rambling.

Land of the Lost:

This is another movie in the LOV regular series of movies. This movie is based on Steve and his time in the Land of the Lost. You see in Escape From New York, New York was turned into a prison and criminals were sent there. That was because most of them were already there anyway. In Land of the Lost all the ratards are sent there, again because most of them are already there. Now the good news for El Pad is that he was allowed to move out and he moved to Atlanta right before New York became the Land of the Lost.

There was bad news for Steve, he got sent to the Land of the Lost. He thinks he shouldn’t be there, but a tip from Arizona came in and said “Gammons said Steve is a ratard.” Well if Gammons says it then it must be true and Steve had not choice but to go to the LotL.

Now once he gets there you’d think hilarity would ensue, but it doesn’t….ah who am I kidding, of course hilarity ensues. Steve is trys to get out of there. He wants to go back to North Carolina where the folks are slightly less ratarded.

So he meets up with some ratard there and gets tossed into ratard jail. He escapes ratard jail by just saying he was supposed to get out. Then the ratards find out he is the least ratarded and put him in charge of growing crops. He does so, but the ratards are impatient and put him in Yankee Stadium to fight a bear. He beats the bear and the crops grow. He becomes president of the ratards and marries a hooker who is also not that retarded.

505 comments:

1 – 200 of 505   Newer›   Newest»
tem said...

Ed McMahon dies at 86, takes Blogger with him.

Beth said...

You know there's a whole country out there, EP wouldn't necessarily have to move to Atlanta...

El Padrino said...

Idiocracy.


Tems movie review reminds me of that movie

blue said...

where else would he move

Beth said...

And what, no comments on the US Open in your post?

tem said...

he chose Atlanta for "unknown reasons"

blue said...

us open isn't for a few months, and federer will probably win

Beth said...

"where else would he move"

New Jersey, that way he would be closer to the Giants.

tem said...

"And what, no comments on the US Open in your post?"

they haven't played that tennis tournament yet, plus i don't like tennis that much.

wimbleton is going on though, i think.

El Padrino said...

keef cmep watches murder shit too
forgot to tell you that yesterday, she watches Sleuth Tv, which runs every law and order ever made

El Padrino said...

beth dont fight it

blue said...

jon and kate are getting a divorce....

in case meiz missed last nights episode.

tem said...

what's jon and kate? is that the octomom?

El Padrino said...

"jon and kate are getting a divorce...."

cmep tolt me this in the morning, umprompted

i gave her a lenghty ::blank stare::

tem said...

did you get your fathers day gift el pad?

tem said...

from cmep

El Padrino said...

"Idiocracy."

for clarification purposes

Steve = Dax Sheppard in Idiocracy

blue said...

"what's jon and kate? is that the octomom"

close enough

tem said...

why do the celts want to trade rondo so bad? they are aparently offering him up to everyone. now to the pistons.

El Padrino said...

"did you get your fathers day gift el pad?"

no nasty sex, but sex nonetheless

tem said...

"Idiocracy.

Tems movie review reminds me of that movie"

it should. the movie basically became idiocracy.

tem said...

"no nasty sex, but sex nonetheless"

take what you can get i guess.

El Padrino said...

zeke, knicks - wizard may be getting something done

"The best opportunity may come with the Wizards’ pick at No. 5, though it would come at a very steep price. Multiple sources confirmed that the Knicks have discussed a potential blockbuster trade between the teams that would land the fifth overall pick and allow the Knicks to keep their spot at No. 8. The deal likely would have to include one of the team’s most valuable assets, swingman Wilson Chandler, which would be a difficult decision."

Steve said...

"He beats the bear and the crops grow."


I AM ALL THAT IS MAN!!!

Steve said...

"Idiocracy"


underrated movie.

blue said...

who do the knicks like so much they're willing to give up everything for the 5th pick?

or are they then going to package 5 and 8 for the 2 to get rubio?

tem said...

they want curry that bad.

tem said...

gammons says curry is the best curry to come into the league since his dad. not gammons' dad, curry's dad.

Meiz said...

"Tems movie review reminds me of that movie"


That's because he stole it directly from Idiocracy. It shouldn't just remind you of it.

tem said...

i just review the movies. it isn't my fault that they stole from idiocracy.

tem said...

don't shoot the messenger.

Jugdish said...

They just had The Ultimate Fighter Finale last Saturday and 3 fights won fight of the night. They all deserved it. It was a really good night of fighting.


troof...lots of good fights. I was disappointed with that Demarques Johnson dude...

Jugdish said...

keef owes me two days of a name/pic change...I'm taking suggestions since I am too mEEzy to be creative

Jugdish said...

please die perez hilton

Meiz said...

"keef owes me two days of a name/pic change...I'm taking suggestions since I am too mEEzy to be creative"


Star Wars pic is a prerequisite.

El Padrino said...

"or are they then going to package 5 and 8 for the 2 to get rubio?"

Tyreke Evans, Curry

they will stay at 5 and 8, i think they like rubio but feel there are simliar talents that will cost lower

tem said...

" I was disappointed with that Demarques Johnson dude..."

same, he was a big favorite and got beat pretty handily.

Jugdish said...

same, he was a big favorite and got beat pretty handily.


looked like he was too over confident and under prepared

Meiz said...

UFC sucks.

tem said...

your face sucks.

Meiz said...

doesn't make UFC any less sucky

blue said...

NYKnicks don't need two currys

tyreke will be gonzo...kings at 4

Steve said...

John Mayer on Prez:

"I also want to train you (Perez) in an old martial art called “Never Call A Black Dude a Faggot Jitsu.”"

El Padrino said...

"tyreke will be gonzo...kings at 4"

speaking of, Freak you doing a preview or what?

tem said...

"John Mayer on Prez"

john mayer the singer dude that is fucking jenny aninston?

Jugdish said...

that star faced chick admitted she was lying about the tattoos

Steve said...

"john mayer the singer dude that is fucking jenny aninston?"

the guy that sings all those "sensitive" songs.

Steve said...

real shitty music.

tem said...

why is john mayer training someone in martial arts? he doesn't know any martial arts.

tem said...

"that star faced chick admitted she was lying about the tattoos"

::blank stare::

Jugdish said...

that star faced chick admitted she was lying about the tattoos

Steve said...

"he doesn't know any martial arts"

have you heard his music?

the only reason he doesn't get his ass beat on a regular basis is because he's a master at every form of combat.

there is no other explanation.

tem said...

"have you heard his music?"

no, i am under the impression it is for gays and women only.


maybe he hires body guards

Meiz said...

"he doesn't know any martial arts."


How would you know?

Spaceman Spiff said...

"troof...lots of good fights. I was disappointed with that Demarques Johnson dude..."

since wilks only had to fight lester, he sandbagged it, didnt show his skillz, johnson had no idea how good wilks was.

Meiz said...

Steve doesn't hate the game, he hates the player.

Spaceman Spiff said...

tyler cant quit until next week due to the niba draft

tem said...

"How would you know?"

because

tem said...

" johnson had no idea how good wilks was."


he knows now and knowing is knowledge.

Keith S said...

mize, I had no survey in my email

Jugdish said...

since wilks only had to fight lester


lester was frustrating to watch. He is tough, but never listened to his corner and only really threw roundhouse punches

Keith S said...

"keef cmep watches murder shit too
forgot to tell you that yesterday"

They're all fucking evil

Meiz said...

"mize, I had no survey in my email"


FB. I invited you to take the Jedi quiz.

Keith S said...

Me & Dr J have a date in 3 hours

tem said...

good luck.

maybe your dr. will get meizy like mine and decide not to do it.

tem said...

WWL "Fits Like A Glover"


stop it.

tem said...

the omnibus would have never stood for that kind of shitty headline.

El Padrino said...

damn dr j is popular

Keith S said...

""that star faced chick admitted she was lying about the tattoos"

::blank stare::"


Nice, EP

Keith S said...

"FB. I invited you to take the Jedi quiz."


Ah. Ignore it is

Keith S said...

"maybe your dr. will get meizy like mine and decide not to do it."

I doubt it. This isn't a routine checkup

tem said...

"Nice, EP"

i do my best to be as.like when you are falling short and EPlike when he is falling short.

Keith S said...

And that's all I've got to say about that

tem said...

"I doubt it. This isn't a routine checkup"

sucks for you.

Meiz said...

"I doubt it. This isn't a routine checkup"


He's using the extra cold probe?

Jugdish said...

Dr. Longfinger

El Padrino said...

"House Democrats have lots of potential targets for higher taxes as they aim to expand health care coverage to reach the roughly 50 million that experts say are uninsured. Also under consideration are higher alcohol taxes, increases to the Medicare payroll tax and a value-added tax, a sort of national sales tax, of up to 1.5 percent or more ... The [other] tax options include: increasing the price of soda and other sugary drinks by 10 cents a can, applying a potential 2 percent income tax increase to single taxpayers earning more than $200,000 a year and households earning more than $250,000, a new employer payroll tax could target 3 percent of employers' health care expenditures, taxing employer-provided health insurance benefits above certain levels ... House Democrats planned to unveil a draft of their sweeping health care bill Friday ... The draft, being released at a news conference ... was not expected to mention the potentially unpopular tax options."

Keith S said...

jug, name & pic

El Padrino said...

"President Obama's plan to expand health coverage to the uninsured is likely to dig the nation deeper into debt unless policymakers adopt politically painful controls on spending, such as sharp reductions in payments to doctors, hospitals and other providers, congressional budget analysts said yesterday ... 'Without meaningful reforms, the substantial costs of many current proposals.

Keith S said...

"Ed McMahon dies at 86"


So who's gonna give away those giant checks at peoples' doors

Jugdish said...

jug, name & pic



ill have something for ya before the end of the day

Meiz said...

"So who's gonna give away those giant checks at peoples' doors"


I don't think Ed's done that for a while.

El Padrino said...

zeke, gop gripes

Meiz said...

Also, I assumed Ed was already dead.

El Padrino said...

Metsblog.com, shouted me out

El Padrino said...

suite, Cerrone politely denied me a job there, nice guy

El Padrino said...

it's a SNY blog, dude made it big time, on tv and shit, pretty cool

El Padrino said...

suck it poo-holes

Keith S said...

EP, you need to pay royalties to LoV for using "Mess" and "it's science" in one of your posts

El Padrino said...

"EP, you need to pay royalties to LoV for using "Mess" and "it's science" in one of your posts"

they put seats in the Royals outfield under the waterfalls, looks fuckin suite

Keith S said...

Are those somehow related?

El Padrino said...

TP replace the knee

El Padrino said...

"Are those somehow related?"

no, saw royal in royalties and that triggered that comment

Meiz said...

Who's commenting on the Stache?

Keith S said...

not it

isiah thompson said...

How is Wilson Chandler the centerpiece of a "blockbuster" trade.

gtfo mayne

Meiz said...

"How is Wilson Chandler the centerpiece of a "blockbuster" trade."


He's not a superstar?

isiah thompson said...

The latest rumor has the New York Knicks interested in moving up to No. 5 in order to take one of the many players they reportedly covet -- Stephen Curry, Jordan Hill or Jrue Holiday. According to NBAdraft.net, the Knicks have offered guard Wilson Chandler as part of a package to move up. The report also states that the Knicks might be able to add the No. 5 pick without sacrificing the eight pick, which I find a bit implausible. Chandler is a decent player -- the 6-foot-8, soon-to-be third year swingman averaged 14.4 points and 5.4 rebounds in Mike D'Antoni's high octane offense last year -- but no way is he worth the fifth pick straight up. Especially not after recently having surgery to remove bone spurs from his left ankle. The salaries don't match up, either.

homie don't play dat

El Padrino said...

"How is Wilson Chandler the centerpiece of a "blockbuster" trade.

gtfo mayne"

I know but gm around the league love him, he could be very good, very soon.....fyi

isiah thompson said...

did that jew vecey* start this rumor?

isiah thompson said...

remember every players stats are inflated in Mike Danza's* system.

On a regular team Chandler will give you 5 PPG.

El Padrino said...

i read an article on golf, here it is

El Padrino said...

zeke i can understand clowin but chandler would get 14 on everyteam

ns

Keith S said...

I could average 14 & 5 in D'Antonio's* offense

isiah thompson said...

I don't think Grunfeld is dumb enough to trade the #5 pick for Chandler scraight* up.

And if they do keep it I pray they don't take Harden.

Keith S said...

Curry is not worth the #5 pick

H said...

Just talked to a coworker who loved The Hangover. Guess he didn't see the OH version either.

Keith S said...

but yeah, I hope the knicks take him

isiah thompson said...

the Wiz need to take Flynn.

Meiz said...

I hope the Knicks take Steph Curry. Throw that little bitch into the meat grinder.

isiah thompson said...

there was a "clapper" in our theatre for The Hangover.

Dood would clap while laughing.

It was annoying.

isiah thompson said...

did y'all see the clip of that supermodel dropping f bombs then calling out TO? hilarity

El Padrino said...

luv da mess = spiff

El Padrino said...

not a curry fan, the player or the food

love flynn

Keith S said...

EP's favorite coach

El Padrino said...

you linked that just to take a shot at me?

El Padrino said...

cuz i know no one cares about who coaches canada's olympic team

isiah thompson said...

fuck canada

Keith S said...

"you linked that just to take a shot at me?"

Duh. It was a WWL headline.

El Padrino said...

i feel like jodie foster in the accused

Jugdish said...

"you linked that just to rank on me?"


fixed

El Padrino said...

weirdo

Meiz said...

A lady that was just in here was missing a thumb joint. She had to have it surgically fused. Twas weird.

isiah thompson said...

wft, it's raining.

isiah thompson said...

Meagan Fox has club thumb.

/ep

Meiz said...

The fuck is a club thumb?


/ep

isiah thompson said...

Megan Fox has club thumb?

/ep

JFreak said...

Good work, tem.

Meiz said...

Apparently it is this.

tem said...

"I could average 14 & 5 in D'Antonio's* offense"

me too if that was 14 minutes and 5 fouls

tem said...

"Good work, tem."

carnivores are awesome.

JFreak said...

"speaking of, Freak you doing a preview or what?"

Sure.

Jugdish said...

sid the kid

check out the comments, some of them are funny

Jugdish said...

killer bee

tem said...

don't fuck with ex wrestlers.

El Padrino said...

el jugfast

isiah thompson said...

Did y'all see EP hit that full court flip shot?

alright Rock-o!

Keith S said...

Speaking of Megan Fox

Keith S said...

wrong link.

This one

isiah thompson said...

her boobies look niiiiice

El Padrino said...

that show was crazy

El Padrino said...

*shot

Keith S said...

"Did y'all see EP hit that full court flip shot?"

That kid is taller than EP

El Padrino said...

lebron cant do that shit

isiah thompson said...

“This cat is a mamajama; he is a killer,” Brown says of Woods, according to Neil Best of Newsday. “He’ll run over you, he’ll kick your ass. But as an individual for social change or any of that kind of [stuff], terrible. Terrible.”


as Jim Brown's dementia grows, this is going to get good.

Steve said...

Dr Pepper is grand.

Spaceman Spiff said...

"luv da mess = spiff"

wrong

tem said...

dr. pepper is horrible.

isiah thompson said...

bucks agree to trade RJ to Spurs for Bruce bowen, Kurt Thomas and Obrico Ferberto*

isiah thompson said...

IN YOU FACE! Deke!

isiah thompson said...

TD, Manu, Parker, RJ

nasty

blue said...

fuck the spurs

blue said...

i guess the spurs went a different direction than SG suggested

blue said...

that's why he'll never be a GM

Spaceman Spiff said...

'fuck the spurs' seconded

blue said...

alhtough RJ is overrated now

El Padrino said...

what does duncan have left, 2 years maybe?

*at a high level

tem said...

RJ on the Spurs will be solid.

He is a great 3rd wheel.

tem said...

he'll be the 4th wheel if folks are all healthy, but they won't be.

JFreak said...

"Reyes (hamstring) was involved in a car accident with a firetruck on Monday evening, however no one was injured, the Newark Star-Ledger reports.

Spin: Reyes was on his way to the hospital for a check-up visit along with Mets trainer Ray Ramirez when the car was rear-ended by a firetruck. The most noteworthy part of this story is that Reyes tried to hide the incident from Mets management, who found out only when pitcher Tim Redding accidentally mentioned it."

Very nice.

El Padrino said...

Spin?...your take?

JFreak said...

Just a copy/pasta from the ESPN fantasy blurb about it.

isiah thompson said...

as a 4th option RJ is the troof. Also, the Spurs won't have as much of a drop-off when Manu gets hurt next season.

isiah thompson said...

jeebus chris, the Mess even fuck up going to the hospital.

JFreak said...

Alright, people.

It's time for another round of everyone's favorite LoV game show, "Guess which TV show Freak's working on."

Your only hints, for now, are that it's a cable reality show about home improvement.

JFreak said...

I will be gone for an hour.

May the best man win.

isiah thompson said...

BREAKING NEWS:

ESPN just reported that Ricky Rubio is gay.

isiah thompson said...

Home Improvement

El Padrino said...

"Your only hints, for now, are that it's a cable reality show about home improvement."

DIY

Man Cave

ToddPacker said...

"It's time for another round of everyone's favorite LoV game show, "Guess which TV show Freak's working on."

Your only hints, for now, are that it's a cable reality show about home improvement."


"this old sock"

Meiz said...

Dammit. The radio just rickrolled us.

ToddPacker said...

google login worked... for now

El Padrino said...

suite tp

El Padrino said...

i like Kim K better, by small margin but godamn she is banging too

ToddPacker said...

"Spin: Reyes was on his way to the hospital for a check-up visit along with Mets trainer Ray Ramirez when the car was rear-ended by a firetruck. The most noteworthy part of this story is that Reyes tried to hide the incident from Mets management, who found out only when pitcher Tim Redding accidentally mentioned it."

i don't think reyes is smrt

isiah thompson said...

those Kardashian chicks are going to be humungous in 10 years.

Meiz said...

"bucks agree to trade RJ to Spurs for Bruce bowen, Kurt Thomas and Obrico Ferberto*"


I see they won't be making the playoffs again

El Padrino said...

did they mention kurt thomas's crazed eyeballs?

Meiz said...

It's time for another round of everyone's favorite LoV game show, "Guess which TV show Freak's working on."


$250,000 Challenge

ToddPacker said...

daly is not a strong driver

tem said...

*those Kardashian chicks are going to be dead in 10 years.


*fized

tem said...

"I see they won't be making the playoffs again"

it means more playing time for the Retard....now Ratard.

Spaceman Spiff said...

"I see they won't be making the playoffs again"

just clearing space for lebron and/or wade

DET

s

Keith S said...

"Your only hints, for now, are that it's a cable reality show about home improvement."


Color Splash. You and that dude can be gay together

ToddPacker said...

from the daly article:

"He was on his way to Florida so his daughter could have lap-band surgery, the same procedure that helped Daly lose 60 pounds"

daly has a fat kid.... imagine that

Keith S said...

Curb Appeal

Keith S said...

dr j time

ToddPacker said...

"dr j time"

ouch

blue said...

"He said he kept driving and picked up speed at the other end to avoid getting stuck."

good idear there john.

once you rip the top off your motorhome, you should probably speed up.

tem said...

how old is his kid that is getting fat ass surgery?

ToddPacker said...

"once you rip the top off your motorhome, you should probably speed up"

i wonder what his blood-alcohol level was

ToddPacker said...

"how old is his kid that is getting fat ass surgery?"

17

Spaceman Spiff said...

who's dr. j?

/ep

isiah thompson said...

did they mention kurt thomas's crazed eyeballs?

I peeped game on his draft on NBATV last week and they interviewed him. The eyeballz were in full effect.

isiah thompson said...

Color Splash.

::hot sauce::

Spaceman Spiff said...

block

Spaceman Spiff said...

block

Spaceman Spiff said...

block

Spaceman Spiff said...

block

Spaceman Spiff said...

block

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