Wednesday, May 06, 2009

That party last night was awfully crazy, I wish we taped it...

First of all:



Second of all: Pacifico is where it's at. Corona is for monkeyfighting losers.

George Karl thinks $25k is too much Monday to Friday money to be fining a brotha. The article on ESPN didn't say if coach was going to pay it for Ken-yawn or not. I'm guessing George is going to keep his money in his bank account.

I've been getting that stupid I Love College song stuck in my head all the time lately. But I do love drinking. And women. So it might just be the most perfect song ever written.

It had to happen sooner or later; Oliver Perez to the bullpen. Money well spent.

Tony Dungy met with Michael Vick in prison the other day. I wonder if there was some window love at the end of their chat. Wow, I haven't watched Half Baked in a long time. I should put that in the queue for this weekend.

Matt LaPorta hit his first homerun in his second game. He will now be referred to as White Abraham. Man, I am running out of Biblical Characters to base these nicknames off of.

Bert Farver saga is starting to heat up again. Brett, please stay retired. For good. Please. For the love of God. And don't drag this out for another two months. Please. For everyone's sanity. Thank-you in advance for your co-operation in this matter.

Hey, so, the Heat retired Michael Jordan's Bulls jersey? How does that work?

Lakers and Rockets go again tonight. If the Lakers end up losing, I really hope the Rockets go to the Finals and win because that would be the equivalent of the Giants winning the Superbowl while Jeremy Shockey looks on from a box seat. Don't get me wrong, I want the Lakers to win and I think they're the better team, it's just that it would be more comical if T-Mac's team won a championship without him. T-Mac - can't get out of the first round; the rest of the Rockets - World Champions. That would be a pretty awesome ending.

557 comments:

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Beth said...

Comment.

Jugdish said...

Hey, so, the Heat retired Michael Jordan's Bulls jersey? How does that work?



Easy...Los Heat puts the 23 Bulls jersey up in the rafters, and now no one else can wear the Bulls 23 when they play for the Heat ever again.

El Padrino said...

that would be hilarity, t-mac thing

El Padrino said...

asher paul roth

El Padrino said...

"That party last night was awfully crazy, I wish we taped it..."

I danced my ass off and had this one chick completely naked....

Jugdish said...

I danced my ass off and had this one chick completely naked....



is this a keef sanchez type story?

Jugdish said...

keef sanchez: I danced my ass off and had this one chick completely naked....


LOV: completely naked?

keef sanchez: well she was completely naked under her clothes.

El Padrino said...

"I danced my ass off and had this one chick completely naked...."

no, finishing thesong T was talking about

Jugdish said...

no, finishing thesong T was talking about



ahhh...sounded like it could have been a sanchez tale

Beth said...

I'm liking the keef sanchez era. It seems relatively easy to come up with hilarity about it.

Jugdish said...

keef sanchez is a target rich environment

Jugdish said...

everyone saw the face transplant pics right? if not go to foxnews.com

El Padrino said...

yes i saw them, she's a milf now

El Padrino said...

that was s btw

El Padrino said...

that brian mc cann shit is freaking me out

i had lasik

El Padrino said...

beth your boy had a chance to tie the game

but did not

Beth said...

"that was s btw"

I find it funny that you thought there was a chance someone might think you were serious with the MILF comment. I think we all know you a bit better than that around here...

Beth said...

"beth your boy had a chance to tie the game"

Yeah, I wasn't watching the game at that point but Larry is who I'd want at bat there. Did you see earlier when he was up with the bases loaded and 1 out and hit the ball hard but unfortunately right at the SS for a double play?

Beth said...

"i had lasik"

So has fmbeth. He thinks McCann just got a bad doc and is astounded he wouldn't go to the best. Fmbeth went to the same local doc who did Keith Brooking's lasik.

Beth said...

It's been awhile since I've had natural Z, so long in fact I can't remember for sure if that's what it's called.

El Padrino said...

"So has fmbeth. He thinks McCann just got a bad doc and is astounded he wouldn't go to the best. Fmbeth went to the same local doc who did Keith Brooking's lasik."

i shouldnt be worried, nyc does have the best doctors

El Padrino said...

"It's been awhile since I've had natural Z, so long in fact I can't remember for sure if that's what it's called."

we call it a natty z still, not sure whAt keef calls it though

Beth said...

"i shouldnt be worried, nyc does have the best doctors"

Well that goes without saying of course. When'd you get yours done EP?

tem said...

it is what it is called.

tem said...

i woke up this morning and blew a .10 on my breathalyzer thing.

tem said...

tem had lasik over 5 years ago.

now he can't read.


the two are unrelated.

Steve said...

My sister had the lasik done, came to me talking shit that she had 20/15 vision. I told her I had 20/13.

I've spent the last two years convincing that her Dr was wrong, it is possible, and I do in fact have 20/13 vision.

I'm almost there.

Jugdish said...

keef sanchez: i woke up this morning and blew a .10 on my breathalyzer thing.


reality: I think I swallowed too much Scope this morning.

El Padrino said...

"Well that goes without saying of course. When'd you get yours done EP?"

April or May I forget which month but it was 2006

Beth said...

"My sister had the lasik done, came to me talking shit that she had 20/15 vision."

Fmbeth's vision was like that at first after Lasik but then eventually settled in at 20/20 or maybe slightly worse. But he says it's one of the best decisions he's ever made.

El Padrino said...

it's easily the best decision I ever made that didn't involve beer, sex or drugs

Jugdish said...

I am far sighted, and my doc told me that eventually my eyes would be right back where they are now if I got it done.

Blueshon said...

i had lasik 8 years ago now, i think, maybe 9 years ago in november

best money ever spent. i was 20/10 right after...now i'm 20/35 or something like that. Still pretty awesome

Blueshon said...

GK ain't paying kenyawn's fine...kenyon makes about 3 times as much as GK, i think he can handle the 25K

Blueshon said...

hey...most interesting man in the world guy...i don't need your advice...it sucks

El Padrino said...

blue i dont want to start a riot here but i think the nuggets could be in the finals

just a casual nba fan's opinion

Blueshon said...

they're playing better than any other team in the playoffs not named the cavs right now.

but there's still a long ways to go, and it's not like they've been playing teams that are very good either.

tem said...

"blue i dont want to start a riot here but i think the nuggets could be in the finals"

no they still have some games to go. they are in the quarterfinals or somethng now.

tem said...

lasik was one of my better decisions.

Blueshon said...

temgagement was wise as well

Blueshon said...

top 3 for sure

Blueshon said...

mini skirt lady works out in the morning (takes a hot yoga class) and then decides not to shower, so she stinks all day long.

it's fucking great.

Blueshon said...

i want to fire her

El Padrino said...

easy blue trump

Steve said...

"temgagement was wise as well"

let us not forget the bed skirt.

Steve said...

what's a hot yoga class?

good looking woman, wearing bikinis, bending, stretching and rubbing oil on each other?

if it's not, don't tell me, i want to go on thinking that.

Blueshon said...

"good looking woman, wearing bikinis, bending, stretching and rubbing oil on each other?"

pretty much, i think. But i wouldn't want to see her in her yoga outfit.

hot receptionist, yes, her, no.

Blueshon said...

the point is, the room is like 100° so there is no chance you don't sweat, so sweaty mcminiskirt here stinks all day

Steve said...

"sweaty mcminiskirt"

that's rough. women are supposed to be the cleaner sex.

and what really sucks about it, if it was a dude, you could be like "Man, you stink", but with a chick she'd get all offended.

Steve said...

Come in early and leave a bar of soap and some deodorant on her desk.

tem said...

"top 3 for sure"

yes

tem said...

tell her the shower is over there if you want to not smell so bad.

Blueshon said...

maybe people should start dripping hints

tem said...

drip them at will

Steve said...

stink, mini skirt and dripping.


that's an unfortunate typo.

El Padrino said...

damn i gotta get cmep a mother day gift

Steve said...

Schwarzenegger: Calif. needs pot debate.

"Schwarzenegger says it's time for a debate on whether to legalize marijuana, though he says he's not supporting the idea."

Come again?

tem said...

"damn i gotta get cmep a mother day gift"

she lives in NYC, that's a good enough gift.

Blueshon said...

"damn i gotta get cmep a mother day gift"

she's not your mom

make bgep get her a gift. have her draw a picture of something.

Tyler said...

I've got four pitchers starting in the keeper league today. Should be interesting.

El Padrino said...

"make bgep get her a gift. have her draw a picture of something."

gotta buy the mother of your child something

Steve said...

"gotta buy the mother of your child something"

buy her a really nice pot and pan set with a note that says "take the hint"

Jugdish said...

GET OUT OF MY DAMN WAY!!!

Steve said...

you can't get into trouble cause it's from the kid, not you.

Blueshon said...

"gotta buy the mother of your child something"

no, sunday is mother's day for your mother...every other day is your baby's momma day.

Jugdish said...

"gotta buy the mother of your child something"

give her a keef sanchez, or a steve sanchez

Blueshon said...

or buy her a tent and say "you'll thank me in 2012"

Meiz said...

LaPorta needs a better biblical name.

LaPorta >> WJ, WM

Meiz said...

And screw you for picking him up right before I was about to.

Jugdish said...

Give her a one year subscription to the Jelly of the Month club.

El Padrino said...

buy her a really nice pot and pan set with a note that says "take the hint"

not wise

Jugdish said...

buy her a really nice pot and pan set with a note that says "take the hint"

not wise



this is why steve wears a helmet and velcro shoes most of the time

El Padrino said...

Senator Stormy would be great

tem said...

buy her a trip to Atl to see beth.

tem said...

two words:

bed

skirt

tem said...

three words:

olive

garden

dinner

Steve said...

"buy her a trip to Atl to see beth."


and leave NYC?

Steve said...

that's crazy talk

tem said...

four words:

chicago

style

pan

pizza

tem said...

five words:

fornicate

swiffer

wet

jet

tacos

tem said...

six words:

bert

favre

minnesota

vikings

authentic

jersey

JFreak said...

You could just call Matt LaPorta, Matt LaPorta.

tem said...

i think rev is staying next to the brewery when he visits

tem said...

"You could just call Matt LaPorta, Matt LaPorta."

but i don't speak spanish.

Jugdish said...

Joba struck out 8 consecutive batters last night, must have been the crystal meth

Beth said...

"buy her a trip to Atl to see beth"

It wouldn't even be that expensive, I have a place she can stay...

Steve said...

News can be really annoying.

The headline reads "Swine flu kills U.S. resident"

the article reads, "Health officials stopped short of saying that swine flu caused the woman’s death. State health department spokeswoman Carrie Williams said the woman had “chronic underlying health conditions” but wouldn’t give any more details."

Meiz said...

I'm actually looking forward to Mother's Day dinner.

spaceman spiff said...

i was scurred about blue's SP's having 6 starts in 2 days.

they gave him 0 wins, suite

Keith S said...

"everyone saw the face transplant pics right? if not go to foxnews.com"

Nice strategy to avoid being a jugfast

El Padrino said...

farve is a clown

Keith S said...

"But he says it's one of the best decisions he's ever made."

How's that make you feel?

Jugdish said...

Nice strategy to avoid being a jugfast


thanks...i thought it was effective

Meiz said...

flolf micks

spaceman spiff said...

kelly ripahas a peepee coming out of her belly button


WFT

Keith S said...

kelly ripa is disgusting


*fized

Steve said...

"kelly ripa is disgusting"

you'd hit it.

Meiz said...

I'd hit it. Then again there isn't much I would turn down.

Keith S said...

"you'd hit it."

I prefer chicks who weigh more than 80 lbs

spaceman spiff said...

deke, your worst fears have been realized, maybe. jon's mistress' brother says that the two are fucking, that he's heard them have sex.

brother is an idiot though. his sister is 23, jon is 32, and the brother thinks that that equals 'almost twice her age'.

Blueshon said...

no, not jon...what ever will he tell hannah and leah and maddy and cara and the other little girl.


this is devestating

(channeling my inner meiz)

Beth said...

"But he says it's one of the best decisions he's ever made."
"How's that make you feel?"

I'm fine with that since he says he thanks god every day for me. :-)

Meiz said...

Stopped pretending to care. I hope he's banging some little hot broad.

spaceman spiff said...

freak, your girl

Beth said...

Plus, fmbeth would never let another guy brand my ass/waist...

Meiz said...

Dude's fucked either way

Jugdish said...

Plus, fmbeth would never let another guy brand my ass/waist...



hilarity

Meiz said...

"Plus, fmbeth would never let another guy brand my ass/waist..."


If the price is right, he would.

El Padrino said...

Ted Dibiase says everybody has a price.

Keith S said...

"Plus, fmbeth would never let another guy brand my ass/waist..."

Ah, the jealous type. Sorry to hear that

spaceman spiff said...

"I'm fine with that since he says he thanks god every day for me. :-)"

wonder what he'll say after he's experienced married life (if that ever happen AHIIK)

WADR

Steve said...

"fmbeth would never let another guy brand my ass/waist..."

he must be really insecure.

Beth said...

"he must be really insecure"

Nah, he's not a Duke fan.


(Not sure what that really means but it still sounds funny to me.)

Keith S said...

Any joke about dook is funny

El Padrino said...

spiff your doing some solid work by avoiding engagement, you too zeke

keep hope alive
assamamalakem my brothers

Blueshon said...

true dat

Keith S said...

Veronica Zemanova is hot

spaceman spiff said...

as. pic

Meiz said...

My co-workers exude zero confidence when dealing with customers.

El Padrino said...

perfect spiff
exquisite henie

Steve said...

who is that spiff?

spaceman spiff said...

no idea

tem said...

"I'm fine with that since he says he thanks god every day for me. :-)"

this makes me think less of fmbeth.

tem said...

"you too zeke"

i thought zeke was engaged?

Meiz said...

New lady is a habitual line stepper.

tem said...

From CNN.com "20% of homeowners underwater "




they should have bought a boat instead of a house.

tem said...

"line stepper"

blank stare

Meiz said...

so OCD about cleaning, she goes out & buys cleaning supplies with her own money, and comes in with receipts, and says to bossman, "You owe me this much money".

Pretty sure that its pretty poor etiquette to be doing that without permission.

Blueshon said...

bossman doesn't pay her for them does he?

tem said...

meiz should go out and buy some vodka and bring the receipt in.

Meiz said...

"bossman doesn't pay her for them does he?"


This is the 1st time that I'm personally aware of this. And coincidentally, he's on vacation thru Sunday. Shady shit, man.

Jugdish said...

meiz should go out and buy some vodka and bring the receipt in.



UPS store would have to shut down

tem said...

so who cuts the check for her?

Meiz said...

Paid out as "other supplies" in the register

tem said...

UPS store is wierd.

Blueshon said...

yeah, that's pretty f'd up

El Padrino said...

are the supplies used for the sto'?

Meiz said...

People that complain about having to open the door annoy me.

Meiz said...

"are the supplies used for the sto'?"

Yeah. But pretty much only by her.


Still, you gotta get permission to be doing that shit.

Blueshon said...

you should get one of those grocery store doors that open automatically.

El Padrino said...

maybe she got permission and you just didnt know,i mean you dont work every hour the store is open do you

is the store only open 40 hours a week dillrod?

Jugdish said...

mize runs that place, he knows all

Steve said...

I wonder if the Meiz coworker stories are like the Keith stories.

Keith S said...

I've nerve tolt a fake story

Meiz said...

"you should get one of those grocery store doors that open automatically."


Don't tell me. Tell the that owns the joint.

Meiz said...

*Tell the guy

Jugdish said...

I've nerve tolt a fake story



eggsagerated for effect

Jugdish said...

Don't tell me. Tell the that owns the joint.


just go by it yourself and take it out of the register

Meiz said...

"maybe she got permission and you just didnt know,i mean you dont work every hour the store is open do you"


said she "took the liberty"


"is the store only open 40 hours a week dillrod?"

I work > 40 hours

Jugdish said...

I'm there > 40 hours



fixed

Meiz said...

decent fix

tem said...

"I've nerve tolt a fake story"

so?

i've never been fake drunk on here.

Meiz said...

anywho, how about that american rules football?

El Padrino said...

ok pecos, back when you said you worked < 40 hours was a *figment of my imagination i guess

Steve said...

Bossman just came in and told me he sold a product we are currently developing.

It's scheduled to be finished in a little over 10 weeks. He promised delivery in 6 weeks.

Goddamit!!!

El Padrino said...

pasta hut pasta bread bowls got a real hearty laugh from me last night

Jugdish said...

It's scheduled to be finished in a little over 10 weeks. He promised delivery in 6 weeks.


you can get those fries done by then

tem said...

steve develops products?

Blueshon said...

dominoes pasta bowls

El Padrino said...

yeah whatever same shit

Jugdish said...

I was thinking pasta hut was the movie version of pizza hut like McDowell's was for Mcdonalds in coming to america

Meiz said...

"ok pecos, back when you said you worked < 40 hours was a *figment of my imagination i guess"

Must be.


What's the asterisk for?

Blueshon said...

he just asterisks to asterisk.

Jugdish said...

shock collar

Blueshon said...

i'm shocked, but not surprised

Meiz said...

Shock collar on low setting + shrooms = A+++


Touch the contacts with 2 fingers, and you can feel the electricity circulate through your body.

Jugdish said...

Agent Scott Boras was interviewed for the June edition of Playboy and was asked how he would change the World Series. Boras replied: "I'd modernize it, make it five out of nine games, with the first two in a neutral city. Announce the MVP and Cy Young awards at a gala held between the playoffs and a new World Series weekend. Move the home-run contest from the All-Star game to that week too. "The gala and home-run derby would lead to Game 1 of the Series on Saturday, with Game 2 on Sunday. Then the Series would go on with the final seven games in the Series teams' cities. This way, different places get part of the Series. I want the World Series in Pittsburgh, Texas, Seattle. Teams in those markets would sell more season tickets. World Series weekend would be a major stage for corporate events; it could advance the game to the next level." Boras said fans come up to him during games to tell him, "You're wrecking the game." What will they say when they learn of his grand scheme to revamp the World Series?

tem said...

i don't mind the idear of having 2 games of the WS be at a nuetral site.

Blueshon said...

heck, make the whole thing at neutral sites...they do that for the superbowls

Blueshon said...

stimulate the local economies of scales

Jugdish said...

5 out of 9 is too long of a series

Jugdish said...

heck, make the whole thing at neutral sites...they do that for the superbowls

i wish they didn't do that for the Super Bowl

tem said...

"5 out of 9 is too long of a series"

says you.

Jugdish said...

says you.


correct

Blueshon said...

"i wish they didn't do that for the Super Bowl"

they should play it in LA or Las Vegas every year.

Blueshon said...

i like neutral sites...the point is to find the bester team, not to reward some crappy team in New England with home suprebowls.

Jugdish said...

not to reward some crappy team in New England with home suprebowls.


their window is closing.

should they play all play off games at neutral sites?

tem said...

"should they play all play off games at neutral sites?"

no just the superbowl.

Jugdish said...

point is to find the bester team


its not at a neutral site to find the bester team, its to make more money

tem said...

making money is good.

Jugdish said...

making money is good.


not if you're not getting any of it

tem said...

so get some of it.

Jugdish said...

i said you, not me

Keith S said...

Good Whitlock piece

Keith S said...

"ok pecos, back when you said you worked < 40 hours was a *figment of my imagination i guess"

When have you remembered anything that was ever said here?

Keith S said...

"eggsagerated for effect"

Not really eggsagerated*. Just try and tell it in < than 10 words instead of taking 2 paragraphs to get every detail. Might come across as eggsagerated but it's not

Keith S said...

"pasta hut pasta bread bowls got a real hearty laugh from me last night"

Not much pasta in those.

Jugdish said...

"was nicknamed "Bitch Tits" in the locker room"


hilarity

El Padrino said...

"When have you remembered anything that was ever said here?"

but am i right?

El Padrino said...

"its not at a neutral site to find the bester team, its to make more money"

nodding head in agreement

Keith S said...

Spiff makes the worse drywall

Keith S said...

"but am i right?"

I don't remember him saying he was working < than 40 hours. I remember him saying his hours were getting cut a little.

Keith S said...

Suite

Keith S said...

tem, where did you see that snakes are attacking people in AZ?

Keith S said...

goddman fires already starting in Cal-ee-for-nee-a

El Padrino said...

"I don't remember him saying he was working < than 40 hours. I remember him saying his hours were getting cut a little."

apology accepted

El Padrino said...

keef's suite link was in reference to my

Senator Stormy would be great commment

Keith S said...

johan best not suck today

Meiz said...

"I don't remember him saying he was working < than 40 hours. I remember him saying his hours were getting cut a little."


And now bumped back up around 43-45

Keith S said...

block

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