R-O-C-K-E-T-S
They aren't bad without McGrady. The Ewing Theory is about to get a name change. Watch for it on the next El Tardo! I peeped game on some of this match up. Lots of blood. More blood than the Hatton fight. I think it was Shane Battier that took a shot that Hatton would still be down from.
Also there are lots of Euro-douchebags in this match up. They play like little bitches. I had to turn the game off because some greasy looking dude kept faking that an elbow to his chest was knocking him back about 10 feet. Eurotrash basketball players make me angry.
G-R-E-I-N-K-E
So I guess this is the Cliff Lee of this year. I used to think this guy was going to be a stud, of course I thought Todd Van Poppel was going to be a stud too. Anyway, I wrote him off, but so far so good. He is on my ESPN keeper league team. I never check that team. Fantasy Baseball is too much work. Can I sell Greinke for real cash?
C-A-P-P-S
Thanks for showing up. Next time don't suck. Seriously though, he is a decent closer. Lots of teams would take him. Can't save them all, unless you are on 'roids or something.
J-A-M-E-S
Haven't read much into this, but was he a unaminous pick for MVP? Someone has to know....anyone....anyone....Beuhler? Beuhler? I have no clue if that is spelt correctly.
K-E-N-Y-O-N
Not just the school I went to, but also a guy who paid $25K to hit Dirk. If I had the kind of cash Kenyon has I'd pay $25k to hit Dirk. He is a Euro-douche.
M-O-V-I-E
Next Day Air
Finally.....FUCKING FINALLY. The Meiz story.
This movie is guaranteed to win at least one Oscar. It'd be more if they got Tom Hanks to play Meiz, but they got Tom Arnold instead. He is trying to make it big in drama now. I'd say he hits a homerun, but he is fat and only legged out a triple.
Anyway, this story follows a young Meiz and his rise to greatness in the Next Day Air business. From his days working with idiots at the UPS store to opening his own MPS branch, through the power struggle with a dude named Rev (played by Samuel L. Jackson) over control of MPS. Eventually Meiz wins the power struggle and takes MPS to heights never before imagined.
But all is not great in the world of Next Day Air. Meiz has troubles with the ladies. At first there is one, but she moves out and takes his stuff. Then MPS takes off and the gold diggers show up. At one point Meiz falls in with the wrong crowd, marries a bat shit crazy shit who tries to take MPS away. But Kod saves the day with some great legalling. Yep, legalling, new word maybe, I don't know. Kod is played by Patrick Duffy....no clue how he landed that role.
In any case, through the ups and downs Meiz finds his way to the promised land and MPS becomes the standard by which all other delivery companies are judged. Tom Arnold is sure to get his first Oscar.
5 helmet stickers out of 5.
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is meiz played by mos def, or by the guy from next friday?
ewwwww
meiz is played by Tom Arnold. says so right in the review.
Mos Def plays Keith and The Scrubs guy plays Freak and the guy from Next Friday plays El Pad.
their story is minor. i think the ads show them to get black people to go to the movie.
ok, you assumed
yes, token black guy role
Ok tem, here's a comment for you so you won't whine about how I don't comment on your post days (and don't worry, I'll comment more throughout the day). Well done movie review.
I'm sensing a series of movie reviews based on lov people
who is that lady?
Last month, National University of Lesotho scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption.
The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women.
To test the theory, 100 men drank 8 pints of beer each within a 1 hour period.
It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects :
1) Argued over nothing.
2) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.
3) Gained weight.
4) Talked excessively without making sense.
5) Became overly emotional.
6) Couldn't drive.
7) Failed to think rationally.
8) Had to sit down while urinating.
"who is that lady?"
You don't remember me? We were engaged once but then you broke it off.
Oh wait, that may not narrow it down enough for you.
suite review tem, you missed one thing though
meiz slapping around efmeiz
that beer study is dead on balls accurate
Also...where does Deluxe fit in the movie and who plays him?
dead on balls accurate
I guess the fuckin thing is broken.
hahah
nice jug
anyone talk about the ankieeil face plant yesterday?
ouch
"You don't remember me? We were engaged once but then you broke it off."
it would be an amazing twist if it turned out you were really exfemtem.
"suite review tem, you missed one thing though
meiz slapping around efmeiz"
can't give away all the best parts. then nobody would go see it.
"it would be an amazing twist if it turned out you were really exfemtem."
if so, you would have to let us all know once and for all how Beth is in the sack.
"Also...where does Deluxe fit in the movie and who plays him?"
sidekick played by Richard Kind. small role really. lots of his scenes were cut from the final copy of the movie.
i already know beth is a hellcat in bed, she takes too long to bust though, like most women
"it would be an amazing twist if it turned out you were really exfemtem."
Actually, I could be any one of your significant others so you all better watch what you say...
"she takes too long to bust though, like most women"
Some things are worth the effort EP.
"Actually, I could be any one of your significant others so you all better watch what you say..."
maybe you are one of Teejer's scorned chicks.
Miss California photos leaked.
HaHaHaHaHa
So much for Trditional Family Values, hu?
Maybe now she'll shut up.
Best. Movie. EVAR.
"maybe you are one of Teejer's scorned chicks"
Except that I'm real and he wasn't.
"Except that I'm real and he wasn't."
you could be unreal.
"Miss California photos leaked."
what kind of photos?
is she fornicating with a unicorn on the sabbath?
now that's what i'm talking about
Customer: How much would it cost to send this to Sun Prairie?
Me: Do you have the zip code?
C: Sun Prairie.
Me: The zip code
C: Sun Prairie, Wisconsin
Me: The. Zip. Code.
C: 53590
"what kind of photos?"
It looks like only 1 (out of 6) has been released so far and it's really not that outrageous. She's in panties only, looking over her shoulder with some mostly covered side boob showing. You can see it here. (The website is pretty slow loading.)
the article just showed this
there are supposed to be more on the way that are nude and semi-nude.
won't be long.
Oh and tem, to answer your question about Lebron and the MVP, he received 109 out of 121 first place votes.
twss
this new lady is full of info.
thanks beth.
jessi simpson slimmed down for some magazine.
bam, wall.
"National University of Lesotho"
No way EP knows where Lesotho is.
No way EP cares where Lesotho is.
fixed
Tyler
Tyler
I shouldn't call out just EP on that, most people probably have no idea.
i doubt most people care.
yea you shouldnt
without looking it up it sounds like it's in indiana
"i doubt most people care."
you brought it up.
africa, perfect
they look a lot alike
Holy Fucking Shit
man joba's mom is a milf
happy cinco de mayo spiff!
"Yao pulled a paul pierce last night"
that bastard, copied pierce even down to the crying, but, BUT missing the critical 'i just got clipped by a sniper, carry me outta here A-SAP!' part. my guess is he didnt want his teammates over exerting themselves while trying to lift him
ass
man crush alert - greinke. dont think he can be this years cliff lee as he is young and didnt suck for years
lincecum last year, greinke this year, pitchers should apply to be drafted by my yahoo team
EP, next time you post Incubus on LOM, I'm jumping one of those $49 flights from Southwest, and choking you out.
"Holy Fucking Shit"
suite, just get your tent and you'll have SOMEPLACE TO GO
incubus is solid
or was, they had a run
knew it would be a tough series when ron ron came out with his anthony mason hair
EP, next time you post Incubus on LOM, I'm jumping one of those $49 flights from Southwest, and choking you out.
That's not going to happen
In Next Day Air. Meiz averts tent city by living in the very first MPS office.
He goes for broke and it pays off. But times be tough, you, at the beginning.
carne asada tacos with yellow corn tortillas tonight, pacifico beer
incubus is solid
agreed
Southwest doesn't fly out of MKE, I think. Sillyheads
"carne asada tacos with yellow corn tortillas tonight, pacifico beer"
pork tacos and chicken fajitas
negra modelo, guac, chips and salsa, chicken quesadillas
free kfc
i'd go to chipolte today, but it'll be packed.
lunch time.
Bossman puts on the lamest fucking radio station in town. I hate that shit.
Dom Deluise living to 75 should give Fathead hope.
You know I don't speak spanish
I think we get to find out the Janitor's name tonight.
Janitor's name will nerve be revealed
"Janitor's name will nerve be revealed"
it's supposed to be revealed on the final episode
"I think we get to find out the Janitor's name tonight."
Don't be so sure
his name will be jay anitor or some shit, like homer j. simpson was homer jay simpson, itll be lame
"Don't be so sure"
I read that. But JD is gone, probably Turk too. And Bill Lawerance is gone too.
So tonight will be the last "old school" scrubs episode.
a new scrubs would be OK.
that new blonde chick is funny.
"I read that. But JD is gone, probably Turk too. And Bill Lawerance is gone too."
the fuck, why dont they just end it
"When you hear janitor's name, the show's over."
Steve is right.
"I read that. But JD is gone, probably Turk too. And Bill Lawerance is gone too. "
Lawerence would not leave. He just would be writing two shows. It's been done before.
scrubs
::flank stake::
tv show that's not funny
wife ass branding
::flank stake::
You're right. I should be an uptight, insecure fuck who has to keep the wife under wraps at all times.
tv show that's not funny
you are correct sir!
I don't understand some of the bets on centsports. I normally put together a 5-teamer in tennis, and there's usually at least 1 match that isn't played.
tv show that used to be funny
*fixzed
Centsports always gets tennis start times wrong.
It's annoying.
I'm with Keith on the wife stuff. Insecurity, and jealousy is a motherfucker.
HEY! Its Cinco de Mayo! So that means the Eurotrash at the dance studio next door can crank up the latin music as loud as they want!
AWESOME!!!
s
meiz has a wife?
meiz has a wife an he oozes confidence
I'm with Keith on the wife stuff. Insecurity, and jealousy is a motherfucker.
not allowing someone to brand your wife's ass doesn't necessarily mean they are insecure and jealous.
You're taking the comment too literally
thats how we do
You're taking the comment too literally
either way
not allowing someone to brand your wife's ass doesn't necessarily mean they are insecure and jealous.
-the way Keith described it though...not allowing that would take a lot of jealousy and insecurity.
*it's not like she totally dropped trou or anything
"-the way Keith described it though...not allowing that would take a lot of jealousy and insecurity.
*it's not like she totally dropped trou or anything"
Exactly
-the way Keith described it though...not allowing that would take a lot of jealousy and insecurity.
*it's not like she totally dropped trou or anything
well for someone who keef sanchez's his mother in law, maybe the ass branding was long over due
Sitting drunk around a fire, someone picks up tongs and puts them in the fire, says "Who wants to step up", cmk says she'll do it, rolls down the waistband, tongs touch her for < than a millisecond. Whooptiefuckingdoo
"well for someone who keef sanchez's his mother in law, maybe the ass branding was long over due"
indeed. maybe the mother in law has been branded as well.
didn't you say her ass was branded, not her waist?
There. Not a big deal. Done.
Whooptiefuckingdoo
settle down beavis
"Sitting drunk around a fire, someone picks up tongs and puts them in the fire, says "Who wants to step up", cmk says she'll do it, rolls down the waistband, tongs touch her for < than a millisecond. Whooptiefuckingdoo"
You said it was a game of truth or dare. and you said her ass, not her waist.
"didn't you say her ass was branded, not her waist?"
keef sanchez creator jug, always keep that in mind
top of the as.
keith treats his wife like cattle....got it.
he uses a cattle prod sometimes too.
We need a translor of keef stories from now on.
keef: i was hammered this weekend!
reality: little too much nyquil on fri night and slept for 12 hours.
or
keef: CSIL can queef on demand
reality: she farted by accident while leaning over to tie her shoes.
keef you just need to get better at explaining shit
you need a pecos lesson, enroll today
hsil is the queefer
"cattle"
...but theyre cattle, yippee kai-aye, mini sirloin burgers
Pecos University
"where anything and everything happens no matter who says it didn't"
We can start calling him Keiz
or Meef
or Andy As.
Keiz is solid
There's shit in the meat? How are we getting shit in the meat?
"...but theyre cattle, yippee kai-aye, mini sirloin burgers"
funniest commercial on TV
"keef you just need to get better at explaining shit"
How were either of those explained incorrectly? almost half the comments on urbandictionary say a sanchez can be with a finger. You all just read the ones that say it's not and go by that
How were either of those explained incorrectly?
what about the ass/waist thing keiz?
So the ass isn't close to the waist. Got it
"what about the ass/waist thing keiz?"
He made it perfectly clear yesterday.
"sanchez can be with a finger"
you left out the fact that you didn't wipe your ass with your finger first
So the ass isn't the waist. Got it
fixed
"you left out the fact that you didn't wipe your ass with your finger first"
Pretty sure I said that it was unloaded
bait is good
This is where I just kick back and root for the taser.
keiz and meiz are the ambigiously gay duo today
got it
keiz and meiz are the ambigiously gay duo today
hilarity
"keiz and meiz are the ambigiously gay duo today"
Said the guy who can never have enough dong
Said the guy who can never hear enough dong jokes
fizzzzzed
tomayto
tomahto
This is fun
do you know what fun means?
This is fun
Reality: I'm acting like this is fun, but really I'm annoyed.
unrelated fios is the bomb snizzle
steve, keith wiping his own ass would be a totally different idea than a keith sanchez.
"Reality: I'm acting like this is fun, but really I'm annoyed."
Not at all
ns
steve, keith wiping his own ass would be a totally different idea than a keith sanchez.
sounds like steve has his own sanchez...probably broke it out on that camping trip
Not at all
im enjoying it
"probably broke it out on that camping trip"
camping trip?
not in the slightest
The 'LeBomb James' requires a shot of Crown Royal (for King James), some Red Bull and three packs of Splenda. Drop the shot of Crown in the Red Bull, chug it, dump Splenda in your hands, and 'baby powder throw' it into the air like LBJ.
camping trip?
you know what im talking about
lebomb shot is great
"The 'LeBomb James' requires a shot of Crown Royal (for King James), some Red Bull and three packs of Splenda. Drop the shot of Crown in the Red Bull, chug it, dump Splenda in your hands, and 'baby powder throw' it into the air like LBJ."
Awesome
"you know what im talking about"
not even god knows what you're talking about.
not even god knows what you're talking about.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
not
my kid is squatting on the floor like a gook in a rice patty field
def dropping deuce, does this mean she's ready to be potty trained?
dman wrong blog
"not"
1992 called...
1992 called...
and they said Duke was good
Ahhhhhhhh!!!! Clubbed hand! Clubbed hand!
Terrible!
the fuck is a clubbed hand? a stump? no hand at all then?
the fuck is a clubbed hand? a stump? no hand at all then?
some wisconsin thing
"the fuck is a clubbed hand? a stump? no hand at all then?"
Here
Megan Fox has a clubbed thumb.
It would not slow me down at all.
*congrats to all those involved in the last 80+ comments.
"do you know what fun means?"
This is busting balls. I do that as much as anyone, so for me to not be able to take it would be pretty lame
and they said Duke was good
ZIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!
"ZIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!"
jug is having a banner day.
-----------------------------
I still don't know what camping trip you're talking about Jug. The last time I went camping I was 13 or so. We all sat around the fire playing truth or dare.
Oh, no we didn't, it was lame even back then.
he's talking about ski mountain and was implying that you guys not only circle jerked, but your free hand hand had its finger up your own as. (implied by your version of a sanchez)
clubbed hand looks awful, speaking of which, did you see torry holts finger, on with leather
AND THE FOUL!
yeah crazy, finger is jacked up
"clubbed hand looks awful, speaking of which, did you see torry holts finger, on with leather"
We were trying to figure out how he catches footballs with that thing. Gross, and incredible.
jesus eagle struttin
"We were trying to figure out how he catches footballs with that thing."
gloves help, but how does he get the glove on?
My new checks have a kick ass bald eagle on 'em. Swooping down to snag a fish.
It was either that or something wildly corny. Next set of checks will be uber corny.
"gloves help, but how does he get the glove on?"
special order gloves
LeBomb James sounds good.
"So the ass isn't close to the waist. Got it"
as. does not equal waist.
checks
::flank stare::
keith will be pissed, but Dane Cook plays him in Next Day Air.
Leo DeCaprio reprises his role as Steve in a cameo.
"as. does not equal waist"
This is true. You don't see EP raving about KK's waist.
"keith will be pissed, but Dane Cook plays him in Next Day Air."
I thought it was mos def
damn.
then dane cook plays jug.
"as. does not equal waist"
ok litemeral
i need to not misremember what i write.
lull
EP
Tell me you don't put A-1 on your steaks
Rev takes his beer pong seriously
Stoning must be the worse
Anyone that has Lincecum today can chalk a win up already.
Only 3 Cubs starters are playing.
"Anyone that has Lincecum today can chalk a win up already."
Yay
"Anyone that has Lincecum today can chalk a win up already.
he's really good"
*fized
3-0 SF already
cubs are not good this year
"Rev takes his beer pong seriously"
When you look like that, its only a matter of time before you end up a felon.
mize
1 day bet on the Breers/Reds this week?
bold
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