Tuesday, April 21, 2009

My shirt is blue, not the person, the color.

Rajon Rondo showed up for the whole game. Ray Allen showed up for the second half. That’s all the Celts needed to even their series. Again the Celts let someone go off on them (this time Ben Gordon), so that’s not good. If (and this is a HUGE if) they make it to the end and play Cleveland I think Lebron will average 45+ for the series.

But back to Rondo, 19pts, 12reb, 16ast, 5stl, 2tos is one hell of a game. I wonder if El Tardo will write about it. Rank it 7th as the all time greatest Celtics’ individual efforts in a playoff game. He’ll say it would be higher if it was the Finals, but then he will say it was real important because there is no way the Celts were coming back from 2 down. That’s the way he writes. Just wait and see. And if he doesn’t write that article it means he read this and got scared. Hi El Tardo.

In the other game watching Dirk trying to guard Tony Parker outside of the 3pt line off of a switch when the Spurs high screen is hilarity. He wasn’t even close to stopping Mr. Longoria. I think Eva could have taken it to the hoop on Dirk. I am unsure he knows what defense is. He looks like a clueless 5th grader out there on D. Dirk sucks.

In baseball news I like the combo of Kruk and Winfield on Baseball Tonight. They don’t suck. They are the anti-Dirk’s. Also, while I can I will brag about the Pirates. So far their pitching is doing well. This 7-6 record for them is like the Steelers going 15-1, you couldn’t really ask for much more.

In other news I have decided that my go to insult for random things is going to be “douche” or some sort of variation of that. I used to say “that’s gay” but now there are too many gay people and/or people who are just overly politically correct and get offended. I am tired of defending myself. I give up. Those gayballs, er, douches win. Freaking douchetastic.


OK everyone is bored with sports now so let’s do a movie review:

Obsessed

This movie was originally called The El Pad Story, but they changed the title. Not sure why. This movie is about a guy from New York who is obsessed with 3 things. Gambling, women and booze. It is the exact opposite of a chick flick. Think Leaving Las Vegas with more nudity, less Nicolas Cage and more violence. Of course it is less Elisabeth Shue too, so that sucks. She is one of my all time favorites. She should be on everyone’s all time favorite list. If she isn’t on your all time favorite list then you are a douchebag.

Well back to the movie. As suspected the “hero” of the movie ODs on some drugs and has a heart attack while giving someone a Keef Sanchez. Be sure not to miss hsilok in her big screen debut as The Queefer. El Pad pays good money to witness this, but then realizes that the action is at eye level and has second thoughts. It is the only time in the movie where he questions his reckless ways.

2 helmet stickers out of 5.

746 comments:

1 – 200 of 746   Newer›   Newest»
Blue said...

"She should be on everyone’s all time favorite list. If she isn’t on your all time favorite list then you are a douchebag."

colour me a douche then

tem said...

douche

tem said...

you are also a douche for spelling it "colour"

Blue said...

i was going for the double douche

tem said...

you got it.

El Padrino said...

nice movie review

Blue said...

does that movie have elizabeth hurley and brendan fraser?

El Padrino said...

like T said, if Rando is on a different team we all root for him

turning into a really really good player

Blue said...

Rondo is a douche

Blue said...

i nerve liked him at Kentucky either

El Padrino said...

i like rando better

sounds more like rambo

Beth said...

"She should be on everyone’s all time favorite list. If she isn’t on your all time favorite list then you are a douchebag."

"colour me a douche then"

Yep, I'm one too then.

And as a woman, I'm greatly offended by using the term douche to refer to someone in a negative way. (s)

Blue said...

and he thinks elisabeth shue is a marginal looking woman at best

Blue said...

elisabeth shue was hot in karate kid though...80's hot, but still

Steve said...

"elisabeth shue"

she was hot in Hollow Man. And she was uber hot in Palmetto

El Padrino said...

"NEVER let it be said that Michael Lewis spares himself from his keen reporting. In his new memoir of fatherhood, "Home Game," he writes that when he was dropping off his daughter at day care, the teachers giggled at him for no appar ent reason. He asked his wife, Tabitha Soren, why they were laughing and she mumbled, "Er, it's about your penis." Lewis' dogged reporting un covered the grim facts: His toddler daughter, who had a habit of peeking on him in the shower, liked to blurt out to everyone at day care, "Daddy has a small penis!"

awful

Blue said...

he's married to the chick from MTV?

Blue said...

being married to that chick is awful

El Padrino said...

KIM K y'all

tem said...

current shue should not be on a current list.

but shue in her prime should be on the list against others in their prime.

tem said...

and beth is a douche.

tem said...

and then got double douche status with her s comment.

the s was not enough to save her from double douche.

her and blue can commisserate.

Blue said...

i'd commisserate with beth

Beth said...

"and then got double douche status with her s comment.

the s was not enough to save her from double douche."

Geez, I thought S was like wadr, you could say anything as long as you included it. So I reject not only your douche designation but definitely your double douche designation.

Blue said...

i'd do more than that

tem said...

"and he thinks elisabeth shue is a marginal looking woman at best"

rajon rando* does not think this.

Blue said...

arguing that you're not a douche is very cumfastic, and pretty douchish

tem said...

" So I reject not only your douche designation but definitely your double douche designation."


objection overruled. douche.

tem said...

"Geez, I thought S was like wadr, you could say anything as long as you included it. "

this is true for non-douches.

Blue said...

on a side note, i had to quit saying things were "gay" ass well, so now i say "lame" because it sort of sounds like "gay"

Steve said...

can a chick be a doushe?

i don't think y ou can swap genders witht the doushe insult.

tem said...

lame is not a bad choice.

1/2 douche point removed from your record.

tem said...

stop it, i don't speak that language.

Beth said...

"this is true for non-douches"

This made me laugh.

Blue said...

why can't a chick be a douche?

they can be gay, then they can be a douche

Blue said...

"i don't think y ou can swap genders witht the doushe insult."

that was a lame comment

Meiz said...

"El Padrino said...

stephen a smifffffffff

gone"



Welcome to last week

El Padrino said...

yeah must have been in lovad

El Padrino said...

dont be a douche meiz

Meiz said...

I miss Walter Ray Allen's musk

Meiz said...

"dont be a douche meiz"


For a guy that allegedly can't stand being called a douchebag, you shouldn't run around casting those stones.

El Padrino said...

it was a joke, have you read the post today

Blue said...

meiz doesn't read

tem said...

"stephen a smifffffffff"

was news to me. i am as bad as el pad in keeping up.

Blue said...

i here douche as a term of endeerment

El Padrino said...

meiz have some cranberry jucie and settle into the day

El Padrino said...

in all seriousness i want ray allen and ray allen only taking the last minute shot

and i mean in all of the nba (tie with kobe)

how many game winners has this guy made this year alone?

Blue said...

he missed a couple of shots that would have won game 1...so not many

Blue said...

Ray ray is clutch...when he's shooting well...

Ben Gordon was just as clutch

Meiz said...

"it was a joke, have you read the post today"


I understand this. Pull that bottle of Appleton Estates out of the drawer on the bottom left, and have a tug.

El Padrino said...

bottom left is a good guess

Meiz said...

Bottom left is where everybody keeps their shit

Blue said...

i don't even have a bottom left drawer.

Meiz said...

Then, you're forced to use bottom right

Blue said...

no bottom right either...i'm drawerless

El Padrino said...

freak to be buried here

Meiz said...

"no bottom right either...i'm drawerless"


You better get some drawers, pronto. Old miniskirt lady might get the wrong impression.

El Padrino said...

great queen song meiz

Meiz said...

Yeah, I wanted to post something else, but the quality of videos & audio just weren't there

Meiz said...

Kenny Loggins is a musical genius

Blue said...

timberlake is not broken up with jessica biel

Meiz said...

Who said they were?

Blue said...

people

El Padrino said...

people


keep on fightin

Meiz said...

John Wall does not impress me

Steve said...

He looks way to happy

spaceman spiff said...

del negro has decided that if the celtics make the last shot, so be it, no need to save a timeout to set up a last play. it didnt cost them the first game, but maybe save a timeout vinny

El Padrino said...

i would be too if i had the chance to be in american prison as opposed to living in somalia

spaceman spiff said...

and mentioned yesterday, i am loving noah's douchemess for this series, annoying the celclits

spaceman spiff said...

"timberlake is not broken up with jessica biel"

he must have seen those boobie pics

Jugdish said...

I have some sort of animal living in my attic...little bastard! I think its a possum or raccoon

tem said...

damn, forgot to hit up the boobie pics.

El Padrino said...

weazy lives with jug


got it

Jugdish said...

whoever it is ate a hole in my roof

El Padrino said...

freak you've been to a san diago game?

Jugdish said...

Where's Eddie, he usually eats these damn things!

Meiz said...

That poor kid had no idea what he was getting into

El Padrino said...

BAM!

El Padrino said...

"That poor kid had no idea what he was getting into"

yes, quite sad

Meiz said...

"BAM!"


Fatty fatty 2 x 4, can't fit through the kitchen door.

El Padrino said...

i want these monkey fighting snakes off these monkey fighting plane

Steve said...

they should of wipped that kid's ass.

look at all the beer he wasted.

Steve said...

"Fatty fatty 2 x 4, can't fit through the kitchen door."

yea, there was another article where she was claiming to be a size 2.

fraid not.

El Padrino said...

steve are you telling me you wouldnt fuck kim k?

Blue said...

i would...but i'd also be afeared that she'd pee on me

Steve said...

"steve are you telling me you wouldnt fuck kim k?"

i didn't say that.

i'm just saying there is no way what so ever that she is a size two.

Meiz said...

Knock, knock

Steve said...

Gisele is probably a size two.


Beth, can we get some info here.

Steve said...

"Knock, knock"

Who's there?

Meiz said...

"Who's there?"


9/11

Steve said...

9/11 who?

spaceman spiff said...

Eagles cornerback Sheldon Brown has asked to be traded. Brown has four years remaining on his contract, and the Eagles have indicated that they will not renegotiate his deal. "I feel like it has been a total lack of respect," Brown told ESPN's Sal Paolantonio on Monday.


athletes are funny

Meiz said...

"9/11 who?"


I thought you said you'd never forget!

spaceman spiff said...

good joke, would have been better of EP answered instead of steve

Meiz said...

"good joke, would have been better of EP answered instead of steve"


That's what I was really hoping for.

Steve said...

""9/11 who?"


I thought you said you'd never forget!"



doushe

Steve said...

ep would have been better.

El Padrino said...

i dont joke around about 9/11

Meiz said...

George Bush planned 9/11 so he could declare war in the Middle East

Meiz said...

Its science

Meiz said...

It was just one big PR maneuver

El Padrino said...

meiz

dont start

El Padrino said...

she's not a size 2, like i care what size she is

Meiz said...

But its so easy. And fun.

Blue said...

what's a 9/11

spaceman spiff said...

a fraction, nine-elevenths

Meiz said...

that's the phone number for information, if my memory serves correctly

Keith S said...

"Fatty fatty 2 x 4, can't fit through the kitchen door."

You're gay

Keith S said...

EP is 5'9 9/11"

Meiz said...

You're a douche

Meiz said...

"EP is 5'9 9/11"

I think we have a winner

El Padrino said...

keef's used to the hot weather so hell wont really bother him

Blue said...

"Today, I told [meiz] that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML

Blue said...

fuck my lifesome good stories on there...some not so good

Keith S said...

I like football and porno and books about war. I've got an average house, with a nice hardwood floor

Blue said...

just interviewed a chick from Prague...smokin hot....unfortunately can't start until July because of the american government and their agenda to ruin my dreams of hot foreign chicks.

El Padrino said...

is it heartburn or a heart attack?

El Padrino said...

Prague like helena on XXX


nice going

Blue said...

yep and she's an athlete (skier) so still in good shapes...but i can't wait until July to hire the hot chick...my boss wouldn't go for that probably.

Keith S said...

I had to watch Marley & Me last night, so tonight she has to watch either The Rassler or Notorious

El Padrino said...

rassler

Steve said...

"George Bush planned 9/11 so he could declare war in the Middle East"

You're giving him waaaay too much credit.

Steve said...

Arby's = Good

spaceman spiff said...

"I had to watch Marley & Me last night, so tonight she has to watch either The Rassler or Notorious"

you guys crying over marley last night is the reason mike vick is in jail, and i second the rassler

spaceman spiff said...

"Arby's = Good"

oh shit, steve said something not tarded

Steve said...

"my boss wouldn't go for that probably."

just keep telling him that you have not found anybody qualified.

then, come july. bam! hot chick in the office.

spaceman spiff said...

blue, tell her you dont know how to ski and will pay for topless lessons, she wont mind as nudity is ok in europe

Meiz said...

"Arby's = Good"



This is tarded, because Arby's is Phenomenal, not just good.

spaceman spiff said...

good point, i retract my prev statement

El Padrino said...

natinals

tem said...

TPS is on the warpath.

Keith S said...

"you guys crying over marley last night is the reason mike vick is in jail, and i second the rassler"

We had nothing to do with Vick

Meiz said...

I'm gonna have me some Arby's on Thursday. I'm pumped.

Keith S said...

"natinals"

El Padrino

Jugdish said...

other uni typos

Keith S said...

Saw those on sportscenter the other night. Good stuff

Jugdish said...

I liked the Navy one the best...nayv

its like steev works for these uni companies or something.

tem said...

spelling is hard.

JFreak said...

VIRGINA

tem said...

"We had nothing to do with Vick"

i may have been a key witness for the prosecution.

Steve said...

They are gonna end up letting this guy go.I can feel the momentum shifting.

Blue said...

my favorite was west virgina as well

Steve said...

No Link

No Link

Blue said...

steve is good at whatever he's trying do do...retard

Steve said...

"steve is good at whatever he's trying do do...retard"

create a link, and then put text behind it. you'll lose your spacing unless you do what I did.

retard.

JFreak said...

Don't give up on "that's gay."

Anybody that doesn't like that expression is gay.

tem said...

i get tired of arguing with the douches.

they wore me down.

i give up.

Blue said...

"create a link, and then put text behind it. you'll lose your spacing unless you do what I did."

sometimes i wonder if you parents dropped you on your head on purpose.

that's the dumbest thing i've ever read...including zeke's comments

JFreak said...

Don't quit, don't even quit.

tem said...

good point. i shouldn't even quit.

JFreak said...

We believe in you tem.

Blue said...

flat asses are the worst

Steve said...

"sometimes i wonder if you parents dropped you on your head on purpose.

that's the dumbest thing i've ever read...including zeke's comments"

go up about 30 comments and that very thing happend to you.


retard.

spaceman spiff said...

steve whats the trick

Meiz said...

I have nerve had problems with the spacing in my links.

This can't possibly be an issue with anybody. Can it?

spaceman spiff said...

its a new issue ive noticed

Steve said...

it's only when you put text after a link. or two links back to back. it probably depends on yor borwser, but blogger changed something a while back. it's been happening to everybody.


"
" without the quotes forces a new line.

Steve said...

woops...hummm

Steve said...

< b r >


with no spaces.

spaceman spiff said...

got it, suite

Keith S said...

O:FB still going strong

Keith S said...

"This can't possibly be an issue with anybody. Can it?"

I've nerve had it, either

tem said...

fuck my life, my buddy reads that a lot. he thinks it is the best.

he is wierd.

Meiz said...

orjbgoerbgojbegibggrgfg Wikipedia jubhgoebwgfobhekihg



hjsdfbewufug

Keith S said...

i bet steve knows what that says

Steve said...

"i bet steve knows what that says"

::blank stare::

------------------------------

Meiz, post the wiki link. Then hit return a few times and then type some text.

El Padrino said...

nerd talk cease!

Keith S said...

nerd talk is probably > than dong talk

Keith S said...

lull

tem said...

"nerd talk is probably > than dong talk"

barely.

Tyler said...

I have been using "douche-nozz" lately, which is short for douche-nozzle.

Keith S said...

You're a douche for explaining that

Tyler said...

You're a douche for explaining that I'm a douche for explaining what a douche-nozz is.

Tyler said...

So there.

tem said...

yes, that is all correct

spaceman spiff said...

that period you added is douchetastic

Tyler said...

Operation Fuck Boston Update: Leon Powe out with a torn ACL.

That bench is getting stacked up.

spaceman spiff said...

"Operation Fuck Boston Update: Leon Powe out with a torn ACL."

cumfast update:
tyler

El Padrino said...

suite

Tyler said...

Did you guys hear that Brett Farve got traded to the Jets?

Tyler said...

YES! Bert Faver kilt LoV!

Steve said...

I also heard that KG is out for the playoffs.

Tyler said...

What kind of a first name is Wandy anyway?

Jugdish said...

its a douchy name

Tyler said...

KG will tear out Powe's tendons from his good knee, digest them, and then start for Game 3.

Tyler said...

I need to pick up Ryan Freel in the keeper league. He's on the DL after getting hit in the head with a ball on a pickoff attempt.

El Padrino said...

Nola, a 42-year-old saleswoman who lives in Manhattan, posts elegantly written ads seeking a man who will meet her in a public place so she can go to the bathroom and remove her panties, which she will then hand to him in an envelope.

El Padrino said...

Melvin, who has thick brown hair and a pleasant, soft-spoken manner, said he began using the site when his wife left him for another man six months after their wedding.


oooff burn

Meiz said...

WikipediaTyping some text

Meiz said...

oic

El Padrino said...

Nola, for instance, said in a telephone interview that she got an erotic thrill from giving men her used underwear, knowing they would serve as fetish objects. She started doing this last June after she thought, “I wear underpants every single day of my life, and somebody’s got to want these underpants.” The recipients, she said, pay her a small replacement fee.

Meiz said...

Just put a . after your link.

Tyler said...

.

Steve said...

"Nola, a 42-year-old saleswoman who lives in Manhattan"


pics?

Tyler said...

.

spaceman spiff said...

"Just put a . after your link."

steve already posted the solution

Meiz said...

I'm choosing not to bother with Steve's solution

spaceman spiff said...

block

spaceman spiff said...

block

spaceman spiff said...

block

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"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





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"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino