Tuesday, April 14, 2009

I'm the worse

I forgot I had a 9am meeting. Oops.

Harry Kalas was old, now he is dead. Woe.

I am a rat bastard.

What if I don't write any more than this?


And now I am editing the post. At the confusing request of our very own Beth.

I just noticed the tag, very funny whoever did it, I am leaving it. It is true, I have little to offer.

So the local NHL team has made the playoffs. They play the Red Wings. The town is really excited, except they know nothing about playoff hockey. I've been asked at least 10 times if it is a 1 game series, a 3 game, 5, 7 game series, the people here don't know. They ask what happens in event of a tie, they ask all sorts of dumb questions...I can't wait for football season. At least then the questions aren't dumb. I'm going to try to score a couple seats to game 2 in the box. I doubt I will be able to. Maybe if I walk around the office topless I'll get the tickets...you know they'll say they will give me the tickets if I just put my shirt back on.

So I think editing is fucking up blogger...let's get to the movie review.


Movie Review:

The Soloist


This movie is about a chronic masterbater. Sadly it is about a dude, but I hear they are thinking of making a sequel called The Soloist 2: This time it's a chick. I think the sequel will be better than this one.

In any case this movie follows the life of Dan, a chronic masterbater. He is always whacking off. Seriously all the time. Most of the movie centers around him getting busted in the act. That is mostly hilarity. Getting busted in his office, getting busted on the bus, getting busted in the movies with some chick. It gets sad near the end though because he could be banging this chick, but he just decides he can do it better himself and kicks her to the curb. Tough one for her because she put the time in to deal with his "disease" and in the end the disease is what got her kicked to the curb.

Probably a lesson to us all, don't date a chronic masterbater.

1.5 helmet stickers out of 5.

932 comments:

1 – 200 of 932   Newer›   Newest»
El Padrino said...

you forget alot

Steve said...

10 Years ago, maybe

Steve said...

Sweet. Bossman brought in Bojangles for everybody.

El Padrino said...

You guys are sharing a hooker for breakfast?

El Padrino said...

jolie is still one of my loves
she would fuck you in ways you never thought possible

El Padrino said...

i wish my boss brought us in hookers for breakfast

Steve said...

You know a hookers named Bojangles?

That's a terrible hooker name. It's way to cose to Bo-Dangles.

-----------------

Jolie's still got it. But she's now hot for a 30+ woman with a hundred kids. She's lost that crazy "i'd give my right arm" kinda hot.

El Padrino said...

"Jolie's still got it. But she's now hot for a 30+ woman with a hundred kids. She's lost that crazy "i'd give my right arm" kinda hot."

in your opinion

El Padrino said...

"You know a hookers named Bojangles?"

met one one time yea

NS

unrelated is bojangles a restaurant or something

El Padrino said...

oh, i just looked it up
chicken and biscuits

should have guessed that

Blue said...

bojangles is a fastfood place in NC that has awesome biscuits and gravy

Blue said...

kind of a ghetto type of restaurant though

Steve said...

yea, fast food chicken. kinda like KFC but they use Cajun seasonings.

El Padrino said...

"kind of a ghetto type of restaurant though"

like popeyes

El Padrino said...

"yea, fast food chicken. kinda like KFC but they use Cajun seasonings"

like popeyes

El Padrino said...

nick swisher was awesome in relief last night

Beth said...

"What if I don't write any more than this?"

Who are you kidding tem? You can't help but write more - it's what you live for...

Beth said...

So EP, you going to be watching the Braves-Marlins series starting tonight to see two GOOD NL east teams playing? Mets are 2.5 games back already...

El Padrino said...

oh stop it now

Beth said...

Yeah, I know it's very very early still, but the Braves look pretty damn good so far.

One thing I'm quite confident of is that they won't finish 4th in their division like Keith predicted.

El Padrino said...

braves look ok, the sp scares me

El Padrino said...

Obama invited gays to partake in the Easter celebration on the south lawn. Disgusting.fffuccckkk

El Padrino said...

that's just a huge slap in the face to catholics all over the united states

it's disturbing really for him to think it's ok to do that

no democrat did that before, just proves obama is in this to be a celebrity and not a leader of the free world

i'm done with this guy, he's an asshole

El Padrino said...

i mean inviting gays on the south lawn of our country's house on the day jesus was resurrected

that makes sense?

does obama even have a religion? or is he just like the jeremiah wright guy, extreme racist islamic?

who did you guys elect as president?

Beth said...

At the risk of getting in a political argument with an established homophobe, I like the move of including gay parents. I think it's pretty ballsy to do actually.

And EP, what if it was a bunch of hot lesbian moms, would it be ok then? :-)

El Padrino said...

"And EP, what if it was a bunch of hot lesbian moms, would it be ok then? :-)"

no, it's dead wrong

forget that fact that i hate gays for a minute, just look at it on the surface of a religion issue

easter is the holiest day of the year in most catholic homes

catholics, from the top on down, denoucnce gays, gay behavior, gay marriage, whatever

so you invite them to partake in a easter celebration

that's like sending the KKK to a black panther party to have a bake sale or something

El Padrino said...

"I think it's pretty ballsy to do actually."

ballsy yea
the president should be ballsy with north korea and iran before being ballsy to his own people

El Padrino said...

he's a muslim

outright

Steve said...

I'm not a cathloic or a homophobe so this does not bother me in the least.

El Padrino said...

when he had passover dinner at the white house fri night or whenever that was did he invite a group of people that were against the beliefs of the jews?


no he didnt, you know why?
because jews paid his campaign, jews love obama, that's why

Beth said...

Don't forget that Catholics aren't the only Christian denomination that celebrate Easter, and some of the other denominations are much more accepting of gays.

El Padrino said...

rutherford b hayes is rolling in his grave right now

El Padrino said...

"Don't forget that Catholics aren't the only Christian denomination that celebrate Easter, and some of the other denominations are much more accepting of gays."

like who, presybeterians?

like the fat lesibian presbytiarian priest that stuffed that little girl in the suitcase in california?

you talkin about those animals? or are you talking about the episcopalians?

they dont follow the true beleifs of christianity

El Padrino said...

you wanna support gay rights

fine

just don't do it on easter sunday

El Padrino said...

where you know they'll be cameras and reporters and people that wont wright a bad thing about you so you can continue this goodwill tour that i guess will last well past the first 100 days your in office

Beth said...

"episcopalians?

they dont follow the true beleifs of christianity"

I'll be sure to tell the future in-laws that... :-)

JFreak said...

"like the fat lesibian presbytiarian priest that stuffed that little girl in the suitcase in california?"

Presbyterians don't allow openly gay pastors.

"they dont follow the true beleifs of christianity"

You've said some ridiculous things here, but this probably takes the cake.

Steve said...

"like who, presybeterians?

like the fat lesibian presbytiarian priest that stuffed that little girl in the suitcase in california?

you talkin about those animals? or are you talking about the episcopalians?

they dont follow the true beleifs of christianity"

and Catholic pries are the shining example of morality?

Steve said...

Isn't there a gay bishop?

Steve said...

yea, he spoke at Obama's inauguration i think.

Beth said...

If it wasn't clear before about how EP thinks, it is now:

"If you are like me you're good, if you are not, you're evil!!"

El Padrino said...

"and Catholic pries are the shining example of morality?"

isolated and when these things happen they are dealt with

just like bad cops, malpracticing doctors

El Padrino said...

"You've said some ridiculous things here, but this probably takes the cake."

ok so i know nothing of presbyterians i was trying to guess which other "christians" beth was referring too

El Padrino said...

and i said this before

i like everyone except gays and russians

religion to me is just an arguement, i would never write someone off in my life if they didnt believe in the same god that i do

Jugdish said...

and Catholic pries are the shining example of morality?


That is such an old and over used argument. Don't blame the religion because people fucked up. I'm not justifying anything those scum bag child molesting priests did by any means, but because these people did something does not make the religion bad.

They didn't do it because they were Catholic, they did it because they were gay.

Steve said...

"If you are like me you're good, if you are not, you're evil!!"


kinda like Bush.

hehehe, evil doers, hehehe

tem said...

"Who are you kidding tem? You can't help but write more - it's what you live for..."


now this means i won't write any more for this post.

El Padrino said...

"Isn't there a gay bishop?

yea, he spoke at Obama's inauguration i think."

yes we addressed this when it happend

Beth said...

"They didn't do it because they were Catholic, they did it because they were gay."

I agree with you there Jug, but that doesn't explain the church covering it up and just transferring the priests to abuse kids elsewhere.

El Padrino said...

"now this means i won't write any more for this post."

you dont have to

just post a pic of two gays french kissing and everyone but me and jug would love it

tem said...

"rutherford b hayes is rolling in his grave right now"

he went to my college.

Beth said...

"now this means i won't write any more for this post"

Wimp.

Jugdish said...

but that doesn't explain the church covering it up and just transferring the priests to abuse kids elsewhere.


agreed...that was piss poor. They played the roles of politicians there instead of what they were appointed to do.

El Padrino said...

"I agree with you there Jug, but that doesn't explain the church covering it up and just transferring the priests to abuse kids elsewhere."

black eye

no doubt, no different than any other controversy elsewhere though

steroids, gov appointed officials not paying taxes, cuban missle crisis, nazi camps, etc.

Blue said...

WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED

Steve said...

I'm pretty sure Bapitst marry gays too.

Most religions do, except Cathlics and Islam.

El Padrino said...

"yes we addressed this when it happend"

and furthermore i was just as offended/outraged then as i am now

El Padrino said...

"WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED"

gay happened

tem said...

"Wimp."

damn women...daring me not to write anything by saying i will for sure, then when i say i won't calling me a wimp.

you win this round.

El Padrino said...

freak apologies if your a presybitarian, i meant nothing by that comment

ns

(although that poor little girl was killed by a presybitarian something or other)

let me dig up the article

Jugdish said...

Most religions do, except Cathlics and Islam.


If its a Christian based religion, then by the word they are wrong for doing this...plain and simple. I would venture to say that there might be churches that marry gays, but I don't think that necessarily represents the religion iteslf supporting it.

I was raised Catholic, but go to a Methodist church.

Blue said...

hey, lets debate abortion next.

El Padrino said...

eggsactly

christinaity says no gays

at all

if it happens, it's not christian based

tem said...

based on the principle of church and state obama shouldn't even be celebrating easter at the white house.

at least not in such a public way. maybe him and his family can have dinner, but it shouldn't even be an event.

El Padrino said...

abortion is a touchy subject

El Padrino said...

"at least not in such a public way. maybe him and his family can have dinner, but it shouldn't even be an event."

the easter egg roll has been a part of the easter sunday white house dating back to 1887, when rutherford b hayes invited neighborhood children to roll eggs on the south lawn

Steve said...

"If its a Christian based religion, then by the word they are wrong for doing this...plain and simple"

Ya'll (christians) used to say the same thing about women voting, interracial marriages, and segregation.

Beth said...

"abortion is a touchy subject"

I think blue was joking EP...

Meiz said...

Dude, why do you continue to pretend to care about this stupid shit? Its not important. You're barely even a convenient Catholic.

The act is tired. Like the bratty little kid that has to pitch a shit fit every time he's out in public, just to make sure everybody knows he's there, and is the important one. Get over yourself.

Done

Jugdish said...

Ya'll (christians) used to say the same thing about women voting, interracial marriages, and segregation.


if you look at the word...then that is not the case. Those views were from man.

El Padrino said...

"You've said some ridiculous things here, but this probably takes the cake."

your face is ridiculous

WADR

Meiz said...

"hey, lets debate abortion next."


Deal!

Beth said...

Meiz coming out throwing heat.

Beth said...

Jug is apparently quite religious - who (at LOV) knew?

El Padrino said...

"Ya'll (christians) used to say the same thing about women voting, interracial marriages, and segregation."

I'm 28, women have been voting my whole life. Not sure where your going with this one.

Steve said...

"if you look at the word...then that is not the case. Those views were from man."


FYI

tem said...

"the easter egg roll has been a part of the easter sunday white house dating back to 1887, when rutherford b hayes invited neighborhood children to roll eggs on the south lawn"

and based on the idear of separation of church and state he should have never done this.

Blue said...

so, the nuggets clinched the NW division....hooray....they are now guaranteed at least the 3 spot.

El Padrino said...

"Dude, why do you continue to pretend to care about this stupid shit? Its not important. You're barely even a convenient Catholic. "

I attend a catholic church almost every weekend. So shut your fat face.

tem said...

"Jug is apparently quite religious - who (at LOV) knew?"

jug always has knowledgeable and strong opinions on religious things.

Steve said...

"and based on the idear of separation of church and state he should have never done this."

valid point.

Meiz said...

"the easter egg roll has been a part of the easter sunday white house dating back to 1887, when rutherford b hayes invited neighborhood children to roll eggs on the south lawn"


Unconstitutional!

Blue said...

JR Smith tied the NBA record for 3's in a game last night, and Sacramento went all pussy on him the last 2 minutes. fouling everytime he touched the ball double and triple teaming him, so he wouldn't get a chance to set the record.

that's not really respekting the game there coach.

Jugdish said...

Jug is apparently quite religious - who (at LOV) knew?



I try my best

tem said...

what sport do the nuggets play?

Jugdish said...

steve probably didn't even read that whole link...just did the search...Bravo steve

El Padrino said...

"he can claim she wasn't a virgin when they married. At that point her father must prove she was a virgin. (How is not explained.)"

I'd like to have been the HOW guy.

Blue said...

there is a reason there was a "jug era"

El Padrino said...

steve have you ever considered the Special Olympics?

Meiz said...

"I attend a catholic church almost every weekend. So shut your fat face."


Almost every weekend does not = once a month

tem said...

JR should have shot from half court then.

El Padrino said...

"(How is not explained.)"


Hi Min!

kodiac said...

EP's outrage is hilarity

-and, Jeremiah Wright is Christian, not Mooslum

"that's just a huge slap in the face to catholics all over the united states"

why should Obama kowtow to the Catholic Church anyway? He's not Catholic

"catholics, from the top on down, denoucnce gays, gay behavior, gay marriage, whatever"

-they also denounce the death penalty, should Bush have not participated in the Egg Roll because he presided over many executions while governor of Texas?

El Padrino said...

"Almost every weekend does not = once a month"

ok, take your robe off, set aside the gavel for a minute, go back into your "chambers" and tell deke he's needed on LOV

Meiz said...

"JR Smith tied the NBA record for 3's in a game last night, and Sacramento went all pussy on him the last 2 minutes. fouling everytime he touched the ball double and triple teaming him, so he wouldn't get a chance to set the record."


3s made, or 3s attempted?

El Padrino said...

"Almost every weekend does not = once a month"

the point is i practice catholicism, and was raised that way

El Padrino said...

suite day time kod

Jugdish said...

why should Obama kowtow to the Catholic Church anyway? He's not Catholic


he also doesn't feel we are a Christian nation.

In God we trust!

El Padrino said...

"why should Obama kowtow to the Catholic Church anyway? He's not Catholic"

because as a western civilization our contry is a christian country, counded on christian values, doctrine, what not

Meiz said...

"the point is i practice catholicism, and was raised that way"


So you don't use condoms, or any other birth-controls?

El Padrino said...

what is obama anyway kod?

Meiz said...

Okay. Now I'm just baiting you. I'll try to stop.

El Padrino said...

"So you don't use condoms, or any other birth-controls?"

i do not, i spooge on her belly

El Padrino said...

*counded

founded

Jugdish said...

what is obama anyway kod?


depends on who is asking

Blue said...

"JR should have shot from half court then."

he tried that, they fouled him

El Padrino said...

hdh off the charts

keef gonna have a field day

Steve said...

"steve probably didn't even read that whole link...just did the search...Bravo steve"

"steve have you ever considered the Special Olympics?"

-----------------------------

so the two of you are saying that the bible doesn't say those things? Of course it does, I can spend all day digging up ridiculous and stupid things in the bible.

I only bring it up cause Jug mentioned "the word".

But instead of explaining what you just read, you come back with Special Olympics.

Bravo

Jugdish said...

I only bring it up cause Jug mentioned "the word".

But instead of explaining what you just read, you come back with Special Olympics.


I didn't make the comment.

I'll readily admit that I don't know much about the bible, but I am trying and I am learing. Anyone can do a web search. For each search you do I can probably find one that says the exact opposite

Meiz said...

"i do not, i spooge on her belly"


Isn't that the 1st thing they teach in health class? "Shooting the majority of you load on her stomach is THE BEST way to prevent pregnancy"

Yeah. That's the way I remember it.

El Padrino said...

"But instead of explaining what you just read, you come back with Special Olympics."

I read it, and it's not a bible excerpt

do you have a copy of a bible
if so then please quote that
the bible is not on the internet

El Padrino said...

"Isn't that the 1st thing they teach in health class? "Shooting the majority of you load on her stomach is THE BEST way to prevent pregnancy"

Yeah. That's the way I remember it."

That's what i got from that conversation.

El Padrino said...

hey if we all had sex to have babies this planet would have alot more than just 300 million people or how ever many people there are

tem said...

"the bible is not on the internet"

say what?

Beth said...

"That's what i got from that conversation."

EP was still laughing about the teacher putting a condom on a banana.

tem said...

abstinence is the best way to prevent pregnancy.


that and/or being gay.

El Padrino said...

"EP was still laughing about the teacher putting a condom on a banana"

uncomfortable

El Padrino said...

that and/or being gay.

you finish with the post yet, put a big fat rainbow with two men in pigtails skipping down a road or something

everyone will enjoy that

Jugdish said...

"EP was still laughing about the teacher putting a condom on a banana"


Come on EP, those cucumbers aren't going to ejaculate themselves!

Steve said...

"do you have a copy of a bible
if so then please quote that"

not here, but I do at home, i think. I'd be happy to point out scripture to you. [ns]

hell, it was kinda a hobby of mine for a year or so.

kodiac said...

what is obama anyway kod?

well, he claims to be some protestant denomination, but I'm not sure which one (if he even defines himself as one in particular, I'm not sure)

El Padrino said...

the bible on the bible

tem said...

i believe obama is a voodoo priestess.

Jugdish said...

he is an obamination

El Padrino said...

"Come on EP, those cucumbers aren't going to ejaculate themselves!"

old school

awesome

kodiac said...

hey if we all had sex to have babies this planet would have alot more than just 300 million people or how ever many people there are

-the 300 million figure was (s) right? I mean, China and India have over 1 billion people each

El Padrino said...

"well, he claims to be some protestant denomination, but I'm not sure which one (if he even defines himself as one in particular, I'm not sure)"

yea exactly, no one is sure
probably thinks he is a god

El Padrino said...

"-the 300 million figure was (s) right? I mean, China and India have over 1 billion people each"

read what i wrote again
"or how ever many people there are"

you know steve is looking for a coach?

kodiac said...

yea exactly, no one is sure
probably thinks he is a god

-I know some MSM outlets have been reporting on how he hasn't gone to Church since the inauguration. Personally, IDGAF, but I understand why some do.

JFreak said...

EP meant US population.

tem said...

zeke to coach Florida Intl?

kodiac said...

read what i wrote again
"or how ever many people there are"

I read that; but your 300 million must have been your estimate

kodiac said...

EP meant US population.

that's what I was hoping

tem said...

"EP meant US population."

careful speculating what EP meant. that is a dangerous game.

El Padrino said...

yes, US pop

JFreak said...

I think my speculating is wrong, because EP said 300 million on the planet.

El Padrino said...

meant usa

JFreak said...

Why isn't blue doing power rankings today?

El Padrino said...

wow, my pitching yesterday did not go well

tem said...

i guess we ran out of religion debate steam.

tem said...

HUNGRY

Meiz said...

"yea exactly, no one is sure"


Who cares?

El Padrino said...

"Who cares?"

alot of people do
including me

Beth said...

"i guess we ran out of religion debate steam."

Time to update your post then.

Steve said...

"alot of people do
including me"

True, but, luckily ya'll are in decline.ok, that was my last religion jab.

i'm getting back to work, carry on with fantasy talk.

Jugdish said...

luckily? I actually feel bad for you steve

Meiz said...

"alot of people do
including me"

I'm not sure if you were previously aware of this, but the President isn't a religious leader. He's an elected government official. Save the outrage for when the Pope turns out to not be Catholic.

Jugdish said...

I'm not sure if you were previously aware of this, but the President isn't a religious leader. He's an elected government official. Save the outrage for when the Pope turns out to not be Catholic.


no one is looking for him to be a religious leader...but its nice to know where someone might get their values and beliefs from.

El Padrino said...

"luckily? I actually feel bad for you steve"

nodding head

Meiz said...

"but its nice to know where someone might get their values and beliefs from."


Its not important

Jugdish said...

Its not important


says you...

El Padrino said...

i like to know what's behind the man, where he is from, what his beliefs and values are

sort of a big deal, religion plays a part in all that

El Padrino said...

"Its not important"

disagree

Meiz said...

There will always be an argument for and against any point of view, or belief. Its a moooo point

Jugdish said...

miez prays to a porcelain god...its all he knows.

El Padrino said...

i mentioned during the campaign
that i just couldnt grasp anything obama was saying, i never felt attached to his words like i feel like they are practiced

Jugdish said...

There will always be an argument for and against any point of view, or belief. Its a moooo point

so why are you arguing?

Meiz said...

"so why are you arguing?"


Entertainment value

Keith S said...

"reporters and people that wont wright a bad thing about you"


Awsome*

Keith S said...

"keef gonna have a field day"

My head just 'sploded

Keith S said...

Tyler is kicking my ass in FNBA

spaceman spiff said...

"There will always be an argument for and against any point of view, or belief. Its a moooo point"

your face is a moo point, literally

Steve said...

Ladies and gentleman, i give you the 450 million dollar woman. Gibson was having an affair.

EP, Jug. Just a heads up, she's showing a little skin. So you might want to say a little prayer first.

As for the rest of ya, totally SFW.

spaceman spiff said...

chris davis with a 400+ foot bomb, finally

Keith S said...

"hey if we all had sex to have babies this planet would have alot more than just 300 million people or how ever many people there are"


300 million on the planet comment is HI-FUCKING-LARITY!!!!!!!!

Keith S said...

"alot of people do
including me"

You care because you're a republican and he's a democrat. No other reason. If it was a repub that we were talking about, you wouldn't care at all.

Jugdish said...

You care because you're a republican and he's a democrat. No other reason. If it was a repub that we were talking about, you wouldn't care at all.


from my point of view, I disagree...but that's me.

El Padrino said...

"You care because you're a republican and he's a democrat. No other reason. If it was a repub that we were talking about, you wouldn't care at all."

wrong

El Padrino said...

ugh, russians

Keith S said...

back2back #300 HRs last night was suite

Jugdish said...

espcially in a Sox win

Keith S said...

Konerko went yard off of me in summer league my sophomore year. I was preparing him for the bigs

Meiz said...

"You care because you're a republican and he's a democrat. No other reason. If it was a repub that we were talking about, you wouldn't care at all."


I really want to agree with this, but I can't simply because the GOP would never trot out anything other than a bible thumper

Meiz said...

I got dunked on by a random black guy in summer league once. I saw it coming, so I just walked away.

spaceman spiff said...

theres been a lot of 2 HR by the same guy games already

Meiz said...

"theres been a lot of 2 HR by the same guy games already"


And salamis





*testing the EP Cocksignal

Meiz said...

Moms hooked me up with good drugs on sunday

Keith S said...

hahahahahahaha

spaceman spiff said...

paulus hilarity

El Padrino said...

spike tv show bout us chasing pirates, suite

Blue said...

"I got dunked on by a random black guy in summer league once. I saw it coming, so I just walked away."

was it ray allen or glenn robinson, or george karl?

Keith S said...

It was deke

Blue said...

it was hard for me to get dunked on watching from the stands, but i saw it happen once to a guy who looked kind of like a polar bear.

*fized.

spaceman spiff said...

camel toe

El Padrino said...

Baxter!

El Padrino said...

spiff, just leave

just leave right now you son of a bitch

spaceman spiff said...

ahahahha

to balance out that pic eliza dushku

spaceman spiff said...

"Baxter!"

padrinofast

El Padrino said...

welcome back spiff!

tem said...

i'm probably not adding to my post.

just to spite beth.

or prove her right.

i don't know which.

El Padrino said...

nice work tem

Meiz said...

woe is me

tem said...

woe is a constant

Meiz said...

I am < happy right now

tem said...

why is that meiz?

tem said...

you should go get a prostitute.

Blue said...

the baxter link

i watched the video on that the other day.

crazy bieatch.

Meiz said...

Its unimportant

Blue said...

prostitution can cure all ills

Meiz said...

"you should go get a prostitute."


Do prostitutes give people money? If so, I'm in.

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"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino