Friday, April 03, 2009

El Pad's 2009 Baseball Preview "The Designated Hitter Version"

AL East
Yankees (92-70) - Gonna be suite seeing the Twinkies end the Yanks season in their last game played in the baggie dome.
Tampa Bay Rays (90-72) - Unlike drinkability, the Rays need sustainabilty.
Red Sox (90-72) - Operation Fuck Boston still in play, they lose a one game playoff to Tampa.
Orioles (78-84) - All Matt Wieters, all the time.
Blue Jays (66-96) - Contract them. No U.S. sport should have a home in North France.

Thoughts on the AL East: Tampa didn't fold last year. At all. But they were the little engine that could all year. House money if you will. Now they are expected to win. We all know how that normally turns out right? Enter the Yankees. The team everyone loves to hate. The big spenders, the superduper stars, the new stadium, the scandals, the tabloids, the yankees. Wang won what, 19 games in 07, was what 6-1 with 4 no-decisions in between and won more games quicker (50 wins in 85 starts) than a dude named Doc Gooden. He's back with two big ticket FA's signings in Carsten Charles and A.J. Burnett. Joba has 4 A+ pitches. He should win 10+ games at that back end. Petitte returns to anchor the staff and despite his 4.5+ ERA last year he performs well when needed the most. I think the Yankee staff is better than Boston's because of the 2 end starters. After Dice K you have Wakefield I mean just shoot him already and Penny/Masterson/Smoltz is talking in riddles to me. Tampa's staff is solid, can't really knock it although other than Shields they could use some inning eaters to prevent the bullpen from throwing 1000 innings again. They are a bit young too, someone smells like a Tommy John in that group. Not sure which one. The pens across the board are good. Wheeler still looks exhausted, Red Sox have a strong pen but the Yanks have a few surprises out there that I know will be an upgrade from last year. Jose Veras going to get a shit load of holds and Mariano is still throwing one nasty pitch to get everyone out.

All three lineups are going to mash. Were talking about three excellent teams here. And no I'm not ignoring the fact that Brett Gardner is the starting CF and is flanked by Nady and Damon. I'm just hoping for the best on that one. Like a Hail Mary. Boston's lineup is always dangerous, and throw in 100 steals from this Ellsbury kid who will be playing everyday and were talking maybe the league lead in runs. I would pick them to win but operation fuck Boston has been in effect since week one in the NFL and I'm not one to go running into a Tsunami so something will de-rail Boston. Not sure what but something will leave them on the outside looking in. Bottom line : Listen I have three teams winning 90 or more, these teams are very good. They all get to play Baltimore and Toronto 19 times a piece. I'm hesitant to crown Tampa again for fear they will finally shit their pants and I can't pick Boston because karma is having way too much fun with that one. Yankees win the division.

AL Central
Twins (89-73) - Young, fast, defense.
White Sox (84-78) - Best bullpen in the division.
Indians (81-81) - Wonder if they found Hafner yet.
Royals (79-83) - Better, almost.
Tigers (72-90) - Leyland can't coach underachievers, good chance he resigns mid-season.

Thoughts on the AL Central: Pitching and defense. Two things the 2009 Twins I think will do better than anyone in the American League. Last year they shocked not surprised us when they competed for the playoffs, and even though they lost the one game playoff they pushed across several nice looking studs. Studs that will now have a full time role. And if Crede can stay in the lineup he will have a shitload of RBI's. Liriano is going to be a Cy Young candidate, you watch. The White Sox have some talent too but may be a year or two behind. Gardenhire, to me, is a great coach. Better than the explosive Guillen and the Indians bullpen scares the shit out of me and the lineup is still dependent on whether or not Hafner is still playing baseball. The White Sox have the strongest bullpen in the division, by far. Royals will be better as their kids will grow but still they are still a easy W, especially in the baggie dome (last year) or US Cellular. Tigers off-season was perplexing to say the least. They finished last because of their pitching yet they head into the season with the exact same staff (minus Dontrelle Willis, replaced by Edwin Jackson). So what am I missing. They'll be pretty last again. Leyland will quit because he's a quitter just like Parcells and all other cantankerous coaches who have massive egos and only coach their own "type" players. And that's all I have to say about that. Bottom line : With the way the Twins play baseball, moving runners over, catching the ball, taking walks, stealing bases, solid pitching staff, I don't see how they don't win the division. Sexy pick is the Tigers and I'm not ignoring the lineup they have but the pitching still blows, the Tigers are nothing more than the Texas Rangers of the AL Central.

AL West

Angels (85-77) - Not a 90+ win ball club but I can't pick the A's anemic offense over the Angles superior pitching.
A's (83-79) -
Young pitching, but this could be the start of another run.
Rangers (80-82) -
Better, almost.
Mariners (70-92) -
Still re-building but not as bad.

Thoughts on the AL West: Angels division to lose. They might get a scare or two from the up and coming A's but something bad would have to happen to a couple of key players to not end up in 1st place by Game 162. The A's have a stable of young arms still developing but may be making major contributions this year. Holliday's away #'s from Coors Field numbers scare me but he's a run producer. Chris Davis may have more RBI's than Josh Hamilton. Texas's rotation, again, scary but they have crazy hitting. And they have good young pitching on the horizon. The Mariners, well, what can I say. They will be competitive but more times than none they will have a lower score than the other team. Bottom line : Too easy of a division, for now. I think the A's have special arms again. Just not yet. Every year I want to make that sexy Texas Ranger pick but just can't do it. Every pitcher would have to have a career year on that team for them to compete down the stretch. Won't happen.



Hardware
AL MVP : Grady Sizemore , CF (Indians)

AL Cy Young : Francisco Liriano, SP (Twins)

AL ROY : Elvis Andrus, SS (Texas)

How it will go down

ALDS, Yanks over Devil Rays

ALCS Twins over Angels

Twins over Yanks

Keef who's facing the Twins in the World Series?

527 comments:

1 – 200 of 527   Newer›   Newest»
Jugdish said...

giggity

Beth said...

Hey look, it's Quagmire.

El Padrino said...

you happy and this must have been talked about all night but my two cents is, orton was respected in that locker room

the clubhouse was good, i'm not so sure this was a wise move but cutler is a very good talent

i think they gave up too much though

El Padrino said...

grady sizemore fell to me at 10

i nearly had a stroke

JFreak said...

"No U.S. sport should have a home in North France."

Toronto isn't in Quebec.

Jugdish said...

i think they gave up too much though


Too early to tell. The way I see it is the num 1 pick this year and Orton is a wash. Let's say the Bears take the division next year and get the 25th pick in the draft next year...they tend to screw up first round picks anyways.

Orton was popular on the team no doubt, and Cutler is a whiny bitch. I'm hoping he can get past that and play some ball. He has the talent for sure.

For me, this is the first time in years the Bears have made a move to get a legit franchise QB. I'm glad they made a move, look at the QBs they have had over the years.

El Padrino said...

"look at the QBs they have had over the years."

very true, sid luckman was the last franchise guy

El Padrino said...

i'm just a big chemistry guy

El Padrino said...

"Toronto isn't in Quebec."

no idea what this means

JFreak said...

That's because you're an idiot.

Jugdish said...

very true, sid luckman was the last franchise guy



sad but very true. I hear you on the chemistry thing (its science)...that is the gamble they are taking.

Jugdish said...

off the top of my head...

Kyle Orton
Rex Grossman
Brian Griese
Chad Hutchinson
Craig Krenzel
Kordell Stewart
Cade McNown
Erik Kramer
Shane Matthews
Jim Miller
Jim Harbaugh
Mike Tomzack


yeah...I think Cutler is worth the risk

JFreak said...

Jim Harbaugh is a saint!

Jugdish said...

The Jim Miller ear was fun.

Jugdish said...

for blue

El Padrino said...

we ara name calling already

freak i meant north france as in, canada is north to america


dumbass

Blue said...

i don't mind that cutler got traded.

fuck him anyway.

couldn't have gone to a better situation...nobody to throw to.

So enjoy him for the next 3 years Juge until he leaves via free agency to the raiders.

El Padrino said...

you left off Druckenmiller

Blue said...

amazingly enough, orton jersey's are not available and the broncos store yet.

Blue said...

personally i was never a huge cutler fan like some people in this town.

I was still pissed at how they fucked over Plummer, and Cutler basically kilt 2 teams that should have made the playoffs and he figured out a way to fuck that up

JFreak said...

"we ara name calling already

freak i meant north france as in, canada is north to america


dumbass"

You're the dumbass who doesn't know what state in Canada the French language is spoken in.

Blue said...

so now greg olson probably becomes a legit TE in FNFL

Jugdish said...

So enjoy him for the next 3 years Juge until he leaves via free agency to the raiders.


the Bears will give him a new contract...I'm not worried about that. As far as no one to throw too...the receivers will be fine now that they have someone who can get them the ball.

Blue said...

"You're the dumbass who doesn't know what state in Canada the French language is spoken in."

what is "all of them"

i'll take jap anus relations for 1000 alex.

Blue said...

"the receivers will be fine now that they have someone who can get them the ball."

my point was, they don't have a brandon marshall....or anyone even close to a brandon marshall.

Jugdish said...

my point was, they don't have a brandon marshall....or anyone even close to a brandon marshall.



true, but few teams do. Cutler threw for over 4000 yards last year though...other people were catching those balls. The Bears will be able to stretch the field more...Orton rarely threw a pass over 15 yards.

Blue said...

but jug makes a good point about the bears draft...

mike and mike, and jug, were talking about this this morning, running down some of the flops that the bears have drafted offensively in the 1st round the last 15 years or so.

Jugdish said...

you left off Druckenmiller

I don't think he ever played for the Bears

Blue said...

i'm not saying it's not a great trade for the bears, but i just don't think they'll change their offensively philosophy overnight.

the greatest beneficiary will be their running back, what's his name

El Padrino said...

"I don't think he ever played for the Bears"

dammit

El Padrino said...

matt forte

Blue said...

ok, i'm done reigning on jug's parade.

Jugdish said...

the greatest beneficiary will be their running back, what's his name


Matt Forte...

I don't know if they will change their offensive filosofy either...I'm hoping they will stretch the field more though

El Padrino said...

"You're the dumbass who doesn't know what state in Canada the French language is spoken in."

why would anyone know this or want to know this?

and why would I care?

i win

Steve said...

Quebec is Canada's black eye.

Nobody likes them, everyone just kinda puts up with them.

Kinda like our Ney York.

Jugdish said...

Quebec is Canada's black eye.

Nobody likes them, everyone just kinda puts up with them.



Steve is the Quebec of LOV

El Padrino said...

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA

Blue said...

no man is an island

JFreak said...

Quebec isn't an island.

Jugdish said...

its not a man either

Blue said...

define island

El Padrino said...

freak knows an awful lot about canada or how i say north france

Blue said...

it's nowhere near france...belgium is more like north france

El Padrino said...

::putting hand on forehead::

guys when i say north france i mean north as it is to america

like canada = france but above us

ok

Jugdish said...

belgium is more like north france


I could go for a waffle right now

El Padrino said...

spiff these are the biggest asian tits i ever seeen

Blue said...

those are nice...and natural

El Padrino said...

chick in a thong riding the bull, sfw. what? it's friday

Blue said...

nice bull

Jugdish said...

Its a metaphor...but that really happened.

Blue said...

don't hate on tem

Blue said...

i have no idea what that means

Blue said...

wanna be a balla, shot calla, 20 inch blades on the impala

El Padrino said...

some moron took javier vazquez like 12 rounds too early

he was laughed upon

Blue said...

did it hurt your feelings EP?

Blue said...

one thing i'm looking forward to in the Orton era...lots of partying in Denver

El Padrino said...

"did it hurt your feelings EP?"

nice


but it wasnt me
cmon, i drafted a fantastic team

Blue said...

of course you did

Jugdish said...

some moron took javier vazquez like 12 rounds too early



sounds like a tem move

El Padrino said...

be the judge:

$500 keeper league, I kept
Francisco Liriano
Troy Tulo
Ricky Nolasco
Matt Kemp

C-Napoli
1B-James Loney
2B-Mark DeRosa
3B-Garret Atkins
SS-Tulo
OF-Kemp
OF-Sizemore
OF-Carlos Lee
DH/UTL-McClouth
Bench (5 players)
Delmon Young
Mark Reynolds
Orlando Hudson
Adam LaRoche
Elvis Andrus

SP-Liriano
SP-Nolasco
SP-Chen Meing Wang
SP-Joe Saunders
SP-Jair Jurjens
SP-Scott Baker
RP-Joel Hanaran
RP-Brian Feuntes
RP-Jose Arrendondo

spaceman spiff said...

if jason campbell didnt suck, skins wouldnt want to trade him, but since he sucks enough, broncos said no to him. he might be retarded enough to not comprehend that 2 teams shitted on him, saying all the right things

Jugdish said...

you're going down like a sweet muffin

spaceman spiff said...

"spiff these are the biggest asian tits i ever seeen"

hitomi tanaka has bigger, remember that one pic i posted during TCS, 'tits so big you can see them from the back'

spaceman spiff said...

"be the judge:

$500 keeper league"

would like to see a different closer than hanrahan in there

El Padrino said...

"would like to see a different closer than hanrahan in there"

fuentes
other than feuntes

there will be one availble on waivers, not everyone drafted 2 even if they did that would be 24

hoffman still out there (hurt)
texas closer avail.
percival avail.
etc

Jugdish said...

Plus you got a guy named Elvis on your team, so there is that.

spaceman spiff said...

yea other than fuentes, you dont like frank francisco over hanrahan?

spaceman spiff said...

"Cutler basically kilt 2 teams that should have made the playoffs and he figured out a way to fuck that up"

on the radio, they said he's 13-1 when the defense gave up 21 points or less points, jeebus chris, 21

El Padrino said...

"yea other than fuentes, you dont like frank francisco over hanrahan?"

maybe, cj wilson got the closer job last year though so i was unsure if he'd be the man

El Padrino said...

"on the radio, they said he's 13-1 when the defense gave up 21 points or less points, jeebus chris, 21"

bronco D was abysmal

bears could go 15-1 based on that stat

El Padrino said...

as soon as the draft went keeper eligible this moron took wieters immediately

then danced and shit
relax buddy you over paid like 4 rounds for that guy

spaceman spiff said...

francisco is the closer and it was not a corpas/street, marmol/gregg open competition kind of situation

Jugdish said...

weezy at work

El Padrino said...

yeah maybe i'll swap the two
want to keep arendendo in case anything happens to fuentes

some dude drafted scot shields and said

cuz you know feuntes is not keeping that job, so i picked after him and said

and then i will counter with arrendendo since he would take feuntes's place anyway

lots of oooooh'''s and aaahhhh's to end the draft

Blue said...

the 13-1 stat is a good stat that everyone here keeps bringing up..

the one loss was the one that kept them from making the playoffs 2 years ago. (his rookie season so he gets some leeway)

i'd also like to see a comparable stat for other decent QBs in the league...

I'd expect any decent QB to win a game in which the defense holds the other team to less than < 21 pts.

Meiz said...

Too many hitters on the bench, and pretty crappy ones at that. Dump some of those schmucks for pitching.


Otherwise the team looks pretty decent.

El Padrino said...

"Too many hitters on the bench, and pretty crappy ones at that. Dump some of those schmucks for pitching.


Otherwise the team looks pretty decent."

thank you oracle of wisconsin

El Padrino said...

orlando hudson was a bargain, i drafted 3 dodgers and i wanted blake too

El Padrino said...

adam la roche might finally "get it"

El Padrino said...

my bench's name is "potential"

Meiz said...

"my bench's name is "potential""


It still lacks pitching

El Padrino said...

start 6 pitchers

5 sp's or 4 sp's and two rp's

Jugdish said...

Google...denied!

El Padrino said...

i'm not letting this place die today

not on a friday, not on my watch

El Padrino said...

Gang of Villagers.............

always a suite story

El Padrino said...

vick seems right

Jugdish said...

Vick will end up a bronco

El Padrino said...

vick will end up in the nfl for sure

El Padrino said...

jets

100%

lock it up

El Padrino said...

why not, they have a nice defense
let vick sit half the year then plug him in, let him even dabble at WR

then boom

WILDCAT

I'm not even kidding.

NS

El Padrino said...

wildcat with leon washington and vick


then thomas jones up the middle


stop me when you think this is a bad idear

rex ryan defense

Blue said...

stop

El Padrino said...

what?

you love the idea too?

Blue said...

wildcat, wildly unsuccesful when teams expect it.

the stats were awful for Miami if you disregard the New England game where they shocked the world.

something like an average of less than 2yds/play when in the wildcat formation.

El Padrino said...

wings, then buffalo burger, then mozz sticks with 6 or 7 beers


GASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

tem said...

goldie hawn was in wildcats

tem said...

tem is at home, damn cold. feeling a bit better though.

El Padrino said...

"wildcat, wildly unsuccesful when teams expect it."

well yeah, the point would be to sprinkle it in, catch teams off guard

gameplan you know
but adding vick to the equation changes things because he can actually throw

El Padrino said...

"tem is at home, damn cold. feeling a bit better though."

try this tem

Blue said...

who stays home with a cold?

Meiz said...

"then boom

WILDCAT

I'm not even kidding.

NS"


Stop stealing my ideas

tem said...

people with sick days that never carry over stay home with colds.



use them or lose them.

Meiz said...

Minus well

tem said...

exactly...sinus well.

Keith S said...

AL is 14 games over .500. I gotta remember to factor that into my NL records

tem said...

i don't own such a pot.

tem said...

just keef sanchez the preview.

El Padrino said...

funny

El Padrino said...

massive amounts of pizza are about to be consumed

Meiz said...

Dominos or Papa Johns?

tem said...

i hope you got chicago style, cause its the best.

El Padrino said...

wow, a fisherman choking to death on a fish, how ironic

Keith S said...

"spiff these are the biggest asian tits i ever seeen"

Horray for boobies

Keith S said...

"chick in a thong riding the bull, sfw. what? it's friday"

Oh my

Keith S said...

It's gotta be your bull

El Padrino said...

"i hope you got chicago style, cause its the best.

Dominos or Papa Johns?"

this is tiring sometimes

tem said...

well of course its tiring, they probably put that damn pizza up on the table, then you gotta go get a chair or ladder and climb on it just to get the pizza.

we feel for you, we reallly do.

Jugdish said...

this is tiring sometimes


by saying that you just extended the contract on the NY pizza jokes

Keith S said...

"well of course its tiring, they probably put that damn pizza up on the table, then you gotta go get a chair or ladder and climb on it just to get the pizza."

hahahahahahahaha

El Padrino said...

"well of course its tiring, they probably put that damn pizza up on the table, then you gotta go get a chair or ladder and climb on it just to get the pizza."

your funnier when your sick

tem said...

thanks.

spaceman spiff said...

ultimate fighter in the UK was hilarity, i always laugh when someone speaking english get deemed subtitle worthy

spaceman spiff said...

ginger guy was disgusting

Meiz said...

Here's the scene right now.

New lady hacking up a lung, with the newspaper spread all over the front counter, eating a sausage egg and cheese bagel with cream cheese on it.

Classy.

tem said...

el pad, go to binghamton and fuck some shit up.

El Padrino said...

WHITE TRASH

tem said...

binghamton, NY

El Padrino said...

"el pad, go to binghamton and fuck some shit up."

by fuck some shit up you mean burn down houses and shit or are you referring to the hostage thing

tem said...

hostage thing, go free some folks.

i suspect you are closest.

LOV to the rescue.


just show up and walk by the SWAT team and say "it's OK, i'm with L.O.V"

they'll let you in and you can save the day.


you know, if they even see you down there.

El Padrino said...

i've been to bing

not a bad little town

tem said...

"not a bad little town"


come on, don't make the jokes this easy.

Meiz said...

Great find on the thicky thick ridin' that bull.

Jugdish said...

"not a bad little town"



like the smurf village?

Meiz said...

Okay, I'll do it:


"not a bad little town"


You'd fit right in

Jugdish said...

Bears 30 QBs in 30 years

spaceman spiff said...

here's the scene right now

I'm here chillin, reading the paper as usual, enjoying breakfast, snauasage/egg/cheese bagel, don't even trip. Feeling a little sick, doesn't help that co-worker tubby is staring at me with disdain again. without him, this would be the greatest job, damn I hate his ugly mug.

Jugdish said...

doesn't help that co-worker tubby is staring at me


hilarity

Meiz said...

I hope that's how she feels

Steve said...

here's the scene right now

I've never had worse employees. All those two do all day long is read the paper, eat, and play on the computer. I'm going to have to restaff.

tem said...

here's the scene right now is good stuff.

Meiz said...

Dicking around on the computer is encouraged

tem said...

devin hester just said that cutler can squeeze his balls into the tiny places they need, squeezed into.

tem said...

greg olson is excited about jay, he'll miss the other guy.

Meiz said...

I don't really think Cutler changes much about the NFC North

tem said...

mcdaniels says he has no regrets.

El Padrino said...

spiff that was great

tem said...

tem needs to go get some food.

Blue said...

starve a cold

El Padrino said...

this mcdaniels seems like a real dickhead

Meiz said...

Belichick disciple

Blue said...

mcdaniels is awsome* except the exept opposite

El Padrino said...

blue's pumped

Meiz said...

Ichiro has a bleeding ulcer

Blue said...

if i was pat bowlen i'd have traded cutler and fired mcdaniels

Meiz said...

I'm starting to think about a Jeep Wrangler.

El Padrino said...

Player not on roster for leagueId = 16731, teamId = 4, playerId = 1112
Validation failed for current period move.



wft

El Padrino said...

who has the 20GB 360?

Meiz said...

Not I

El Padrino said...

20 to small, if i'm using it for omnly two games and movies i should get the 60

Meiz said...

Get the 60, for sure

El Padrino said...

getting the 120

El Padrino said...

black on black

Meiz said...

Oh, fancy.

El Padrino said...

fuck tax

Blue said...

CA raised their sales tax 1% "temporarily"...

fuck no it's not temporary.

Blue said...

I just got a letter from Pat Bowlen emailed to me...i feel very special

El Padrino said...

giants release burress

El Padrino said...

FFUFUFCLKCKCKKCKCKC

mets sign sheffield

El Padrino said...

ah, maybe it will work out
worse case scanario they cut him

El Padrino said...

this place has become such a pile of shit

Blue said...

Pat Bowlen just wanted to tell the broncos side of the story and encourage me to renew my season tickets.

Blue said...

"this place has become such a pile of shit"

EP misses weazy

El Padrino said...

i had no idea you had season tickets

Blue said...

yep, had them for a few years. I had to sell them last year to a buddy because of kid issues

Meiz said...

"i had no idea you had season tickets"


Good God, man.

Meiz said...

I hate being the problem solver on Fridays. I don't mind so much the rest of the week, but gimme a break on Friday. Don't these people know the rules?

El Padrino said...

kid issues

blue you one kid, not 8

El Padrino said...

*had

Jugdish said...

blue is the unidad

El Padrino said...

this place is a limp dick

Jugdish said...

that gunman blocked the back door of that building with his car before he went in there

El Padrino said...

smart if you plan on killing people
which was his plan

Jugdish said...

mize is taking notes

El Padrino said...

when is that 5 o clock whislte going off, i'm finito

El Padrino said...

this place is like a piece Vieux Boulogne

iam Mr.T's hype man said...

2 things.

EP, good luck with your Detroit castoff

and is T really done?

El Padrino said...

LIFE!

El Padrino said...

that was an april fools trick

t is alive and well

El Padrino said...

but yo detroit, whose gonna pitch

El Padrino said...

and just like that life fades

El Padrino said...

goodbye sacks of shit

El Padrino said...

take you lovad and shove it up your asses

El Padrino said...

frauds

El Padrino said...

white trash

El Padrino said...

hill billies

Jugdish said...

wedding crashers

El Padrino said...

i'm reading dont kill me books

Jugdish said...

hi todd

El Padrino said...

we tood aint here

El Padrino said...

or we todd

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"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





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