Monday, March 23, 2009

Weddings R gr8

So there was some college basketball being played over the weekend. Too many blowouts, though. There were only a handful of exciting games, and there's a ton of chalk still alive, with all 1, 2, & 3 seeds remaining, and two 4 seeds left. I think this weekend is going to be loaded with some exciting games. Can we just skip Monday, Tuesday, & Wednesday? Saturday morning I have my $FMLB$ draft, then Elite 8 basketball in the evening, followed by the LOV keeper draft on Sunday and more Elite 8 after that. Next weekend will be pretty suite.

Cmk & I went to a wedding this weekend. There was a lot of as. at this wedding. Weddings are great for that kind of ish. If I was back in my days of being single, there were about 10-15 real hot chicks that I wouldn't have talked to. Csil was also a bridesmaid in the wedding. So she's been a bridesmaid twice in the last 3 weeks. She loves life right now. Except the except opposite. Seeing her get hammered at these things is the stuff of legends. The funnier part of the night was me giving milok a sanchez and she thought it was so gross and funny that she was spending the rest of the night doing it to as many people as she could. Seeing a 50ish y/o woman give another 50ish y/o woman a dirty sanchez at a wedding reception is pretty hilarity.

USA beisbol team got bounced by team spiff last night. I watched a little bit of the WBC, and I've seen Japan play once and Korea play once. I think Korea's gonna win this whole thing. Either way, we'll see a roster of Padrinoan sized players reigning over the beisbol world. I'm actually surprised that team USA made it this far. I didn't see them play too much, but when I did see them they looked terrible. How they made it past Puerto Rico or Venezuela is beyond me. We are probably really about the 5th or 6th best beisbol team in the world. That's not me being communist. It's me challenging the team USA leaders to field a better team. I know they're reading this.

This is crazy, check out the vid-yo

Mize Has Bigger Tits Than Phil is kicking as. in the golf league. DET

I'll end this with a joke...
A man came home from work one day to find his wife on the front porch with her bags packed.
'Just where the heck do you think you're going!', said the man.
'I'm going to Las Vegas', said the wife, 'I just found out I can get $400 a night for what I give you for free!
'The man said, 'Wait a minute!', and then ran inside the house only to come back a few minutes later with his suitcases in hand.
'Where the heck are you going?', said the wife.
The man said, 'I want to see how you're gonna live on $800 a year!'

365 comments:

1 – 200 of 365   Newer›   Newest»
Beth said...

Keith, are you sure you know what a dirty sanchez is? Check out the definition from The Urban Dictionary.

Something tells me that's not what you did to milok and not what she was doing to other women...

El Padrino said...

i know of only 1 dirty sanchez and let's just say i wouldnt do it to my mother in law


(unless she asked)

Beth said...

There was absolutely zero doubt in my mind that you knew what a dirty sanchez was EP.

El Padrino said...

yeah that was a layup

tem said...

i am shocked, but not surprised about this dirty sanchez stuff.

tem said...

i am going to assume that keith was using the word to mean something else.

tem said...

basically because if that's what he really meant, well that's gross.

Blue said...

yes, i was very confused

Blue said...

either that, or the weddingings in AZ are the better

Blue said...

i also liked the line

"If I was back in my days of being single, there were about 10-15 real hot chicks that I wouldn't have talked to"


it made me laugh

Jugdish said...

Either way, we'll see a roster of Padrinoan sized players reigning over the beisbol world.

That made me laugh...also calling Japan "team spiff".

tem said...

as. post has some good lines for sure, but sanchez talk overshadows the rest.

Jugdish said...

I'm anxious to find out what he thought it meant. Maybe we can call that the dirty keef

Beth said...

I'm thinking Keith meant a wet willie.

Jugdish said...

if that is the case, then that is hilarity

tem said...

maybe he drew it on with a pen or a marker.

tem said...

that's a rough childhood if you think a wet willie is a dirty sanchez.

Jugdish said...

I wonder what he thinks a wet willie is

Blue said...

maybe he was dirty sanchezing with chocolate cake

Beth said...

"maybe he was dirty sanchezing with chocolate cake"

Nice use of dirty sanchez as a verb.

Blue said...

i don't want him coming to any of my weddings

Jugdish said...

How many are you planning to have?

Beth said...

Keith's probably going to come back with a single line of "No, I knew what it meant" and then disappear for awhile.

Jugdish said...

We need to make a Lordz of Sanchez blog for keef to read. Each day we will post one phrase for him to learn.

tem said...

well keith should probably sit the next few plays out.

tem said...

"maybe he was dirty sanchezing with chocolate cake"

el pad just added this to his to do list.

Jugdish said...

well keith should probably sit the next few plays out.



he can borrow steve's helmet

tem said...

any of you know anything about platelets?

Beth said...

"el pad just added this to his to do list"

Hilarity.

Blue said...

"any of you know anything about platelets?"

isn't that a stretching excercise or something

tem said...

no something in your blood.

my buddy's daughter has like 0 of them or something. nerve* heard of them, don't know if this is a real bad thing or just something minor.

Blue said...

old women like to do platelets

Blue said...

oh, not pilates


platelets are like what your blood is

Jugdish said...

you can donate them. Its like donating blood, but it takes longer I think. They stick each arm, one to take your blood, and one to put your pilatesless blood back in your arm.

do it tem

Blue said...

they sound important

Blue said...

i donated plasma when i was in college...it paid pretty well

tem said...

so what do they do?

Jugdish said...

Platelets release a multitude of growth factors including platelet-derived growth factor (PDGF), a potent chemotactic agent, and transforming growth factor-β, which stimulates the deposition of extracellular matrix. Both of these growth factors have been shown to play a significant role in the repair and regeneration of connective tissues. Other healing-associated growth factors produced by platelets include: basic fibroblast growth factor, insulin-like growth factor-1 (IGF-1), platelet-derived epidermal growth factor, and vascular endothelial growth factor. Local application of these factors in increased concentrations through PRP (platelet-rich plasma) has been used as an adjunct to wound healing for several decades

Jugdish said...

Low platelet counts are, in general, not corrected by transfusion unless the patient is bleeding or the count has fallen below 5 x 109/L; it is contraindicated in thrombotic thrombocytopenic purpura (TTP), as it fuels the coagulopathy.

tem said...

i don't speak spanish.

Jugdish said...

they seem to help cuts heal

Blue said...

platelets help you grow


and they determine how your blood clots up, low count, you just bleed until you die, high count, you clot up and die.

Jugdish said...

its science

Blue said...

if this kid has low platelets, she should eat more fried chicken and stuff to clog her arteries.

tem said...

so with low platelets she won't grow and will bleed to death if she gets cut?

tem said...

that's wierd, the kid is like super tall for her age. she is in the 99th percentile for height.

tem said...

"its science"

i'm not a scientist.

Blue said...

so she probably will have to take some medicine that coagulates her blood or some other big word

tem said...

so at the end of the day it isn't that big of a deal?

Blue said...

kids are a lot of work;

my advice is don't do it

Blue said...

"so at the end of the day it isn't that big of a deal?"


probably not, or maybe it is

Jugdish said...

my brother just threw some suite hdh at me in an email...

"That's a mute point..."

Blue said...

what is funny about the dirty sanchez, is that keith had to tell milok that it was called a dirty sanchez, and she's probably telling her friends.

and now he has to esplain what a dirty sanchez really is, and that he was mistaken

Blue said...

that makes the story real

Steve said...

good point blue.

She's runnig around telling her friends "I can't believe Keith gave me a dirty sanchez, he's so silly."

she's getting a lot of Blank Stares

Jugdish said...

and now he has to esplain what a dirty sanchez really is, and that he was mistaken



I wouldn't if I was him...especially if he thought it was a wet willie. I'd let her go the rest of her life thinking that.

Blue said...

even better is, if one of her friends explains it to her.

Blue said...

"umm, Mary. that's not a dirty sanchez"

Beth said...

Little did Keith know that his dirty sanchez story would provide LOV with so much conversation.

El Padrino said...

cant wait to hear this esplaination

Jugdish said...

i wonder what cmkeef would say of her mom tells her keef gave her a dirty sanchez at the wedding.

Blue said...

keith has probably "given" cmkeith a dirty sanchez many times

Beth said...

Or imagine how much crazier csilok would be if mom told her that.

spaceman spiff said...

"Mickey Rourke, Bruce Willis, and Tobey Maguire are awesome in it. Fucked up movie."

get your midget actors right, frodo not peter parker

Jugdish said...

keith has probably "given" cmkeith a dirty sanchez many times


no way. If he did that she would hit him up with the cleveland steamer.

spaceman spiff said...

EP has 2nd pick in the keeper league, 3rd pick is gonna get a major steal

Jugdish said...

suite...i think that is me. I hope autodraft does well for me

Blue said...

2nd pick will be reyes

tem said...

"Little did Keith know that his dirty sanchez story would provide LOV with so much conversation."

maybe he did know.

tem said...

maybe keef is playing us like a fiddle.

dance puppets, dance.

Jugdish said...

Schilling announced his retirement...its probably been said

Blue said...

now he knows, and knowing is _____ the _____

Jugdish said...

half the battle

Jugdish said...

The sock is now in the Baseball Hall of Fame.



that made me think of freak

Blue said...

i watched some show on HBO last night about a former baseball pitcher...it was sorta funny, but not really funny


but there is a chick with huge (real) knockers, and she got nekkid, so it gets 4 out of 5 bluestickers.

spaceman spiff said...

keef and milok

animated GIF NSFW, but its wrong, uses the finger not the penor, still hilarity

Blue said...

fuck 8th...i picked 8th in the other league....

gotdamn

Budinger's BFF said...

re: Sanchez talk. I always assumed that the Sanchez was done with your finger. And it was an unloaded weapon. I just swiped my finger across her lip, there was nothing on it.

I should have been clearer on that.

spaceman spiff said...

yea shouldve been clearer on imitating an inaccurate dirty sanchez

spaceman spiff said...

so the GIF i posted is accurate, keef = biff

Budinger's BFF said...

I splained to her that normally there is dirty stuff on the finger when it is swiped

Budinger's BFF said...

"yea shouldve been clearer on imitating an inaccurate dirty sanchez"

Your gif shows it's done with the finger. And it's on the internets so it's true

spaceman spiff said...

amanda bynes as. is hanging out of her shorts

spaceman spiff said...

"I splained to her that normally there is dirty stuff on the finger when it is swiped"

the fact that she thought it was funny and did it to other peeps shows that she has no problem if anal penetration, your everest will be climbed keef, it's genetic

JFreak said...

So keith gave her a clean sanchez?

Budinger's BFF said...

I should have been clearer in the post, but it was fun seeing everyone get their mats out this morning

Jugdish said...

lane armstrong fell on his bike today and was taken to the hospital. I hope he has enough pilates

Budinger's BFF said...

Who is Lane Armstrong?

Jugdish said...

the guy who fell on his bike

spaceman spiff said...

"but it was fun seeing everyone get their mats out this morning"

how is that getting out the mat?

Budinger's BFF said...

Trying to figure out what I really meant

isiah thomas said...

nice start to the day, congrats to all those involved.

isiah thomas said...

just so I got this right, you rubbed your finger in your crack on the outside of your clothes then swiped it on your mil's upper lip.

or did you just swipe your finger on her lip and no wipe it on the outside of the booty crack?

and spiffg is correct, you will climb your everest.

isiah thomas said...

keef at the next wedding you guys are at, cup your hand over a fart and code red the mil and report back.

Thanks in advance.

Blue said...

i'd probably put it in Amanda Bynes' pooper

Budinger's BFF said...

"or did you just swipe your finger on her lip and no wipe it on the outside of the booty crack?"

Yes

Budinger's BFF said...

mil told me to do it to fil, and I said "WADR, GFY"

ns

isiah thomas said...

sounds like there is sexual tension between BBFF and MILOBBFF.

ns

spaceman spiff said...

does milok look like dr. quinn

Jugdish said...

does milok look like dr. quinn



probably like that lady in wedding crashers...the secretary's wife

isiah thomas said...

keef are they built for speed or comfort? YOU MOTOR-BOATIN' SON-OF-A-BITCH!

isiah thomas said...

kitty kat

Jugdish said...

What happened? Some hot, older woman wanted you to give her a dirty sanchez? Snap out of it!

isiah thomas said...

hilarity jug

isiah thomas said...

KGeebus

tem said...

what did cmk think of the k and milk dirty sanchez action?

Blue said...

k cmk ccsilok chsilok filok milok


we've become a russian blog now.

Budinger's BFF said...

"what did cmk think of the k and milk dirty sanchez action?"

She laughed, she thinks that shit's funny.

Budinger's BFF said...

"does milok look like dr. quinn

probably like that lady in wedding crashers...the secretary's wife"


Same lady, jug

Jugdish said...

Same lady, jug


ahhhhh...

isiah thomas said...

Minor League Concession Item of the Year

Blue said...

damn that burger looks....well...something

Blue said...

spiff would probably have to order 3.

isiah thomas said...

...............()
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Steve said...

see if this works






|^^^^^^^^^^^^^^| ||
|...beer Truck..........| ||'|";, ___.
|_..._..._______===|=||_|__|..., ] -
"(@)'(@)"""''"**|(@)(@)*****''(@)

Steve said...

ehhhhh

Steve said...

i need ideas for Kod's name/pic change.

isiah thomas said...

Gay for W
I miss you! (pic of GWB)
I ♥ brown-eye
Crazy sold here (in ref to his fam situation)
Five-Four (and a half)
I ♥ Chris Columbus
Grandpa
Scalp-or-die
Future 4th Ex-Husband
I ♥ step daughters
Step daughters need love too
Short and Angry
Bitterdamus
Kodpolian
Troy Mclure

El Padrino said...

"What happened? Some hot, older woman wanted you to give her a dirty sanchez? Snap out of it!"

still laughin

isiah thomas said...

i need ideas for Kod's name/pic change.

Blue Mountains, pink sky

El Padrino said...

kod sanchez

isiah thomas said...

i need ideas for Kod's name/pic change.

deke

isiah thomas said...

pic

sfw

Steve said...

I like Stepdaughters Need Love Too with this pic,

it's all I could find that was kinda inappropriate but still sfw

El Padrino said...

potato and eggs is underated

spaceman spiff said...

"I ♥ Chris Columbus"

my vote

Steve said...

"I ♥ Chris Columbus" that's pretty good too. so was Kod Sanchez.

ya'll figure it out, consider this a trial run for LOV Last Place Finish.

Budinger's BFF said...

This place is dead

El Padrino said...

always dead when i'm off keef sanchez

El Padrino said...

hey where is deke

El Padrino said...

if deke doesnt show today i'll declare him dead

he's always on lov at some point

Budinger's BFF said...

Are you off all week?

Meiz said...

I called in sick

Meiz said...

I am unfit for face to face customer service.

El Padrino said...

"Are you off all week?"

no, off agian on friday though

El Padrino said...

"I called in sick"

the clap war roaring this am

Meiz said...

This VD is killing me

El Padrino said...

your the one with no medical insurance right?

Meiz said...

right

Meiz said...

Some Marlin just hit an inside the parker

Meiz said...

I think bossman is pissed that I called in. I don't think he understands how bad it would look/be for me to be waiting on customers today.

isiah thomas said...

I think bossman is pissed that I called in. I don't think he understands how bad it would look/be for me to be waiting on customers today.

the herp lip came back, huh?

Meiz said...

No, my AIDS is acting up

Blue said...

at least you didn't catch Downs

isiah thomas said...

I think bossman is pissed that I called in. I don't think he understands how bad it would look/be for me to be waiting on customers today.

that place falls apart without you, hopefully it'll still be there tomorrow.

Meiz said...

It'll be fine, since bossman has to be up at the counter.

El Padrino said...

corned beef, on

isiah thomas said...

No, my AIDS is acting up

has deluxe been tested?

Budinger's BFF said...

"no, off agian on friday though"

Market up 400 pts. You should stay home every day

isiah thomas said...

the market is up 5....and a half % today.

tem said...

cmk likes poop on the face?

isiah thomas said...

coincidence?

tem said...

some doctor called me and left me a message telling me they were changing my meds.

i was not aware i was on meds.

must be some good shit i was on.

El Padrino said...

"Market up 400 pts. You should stay home every day"

osama was on 60 min last night

Thanks obama!

tem said...

"coincidence?"

well it can't be because the market likes obama's most recent plan, because el pad already told us the market hates all things obama.

isiah thomas said...

cmk likes poop on the face?

POOP IN YOU FACE!

isiah thomas said...

osama was on 60 min last night

who did he offend last night?

*hoping it was white people

JFreak said...

Someone today told me they "caught him red-headed."

I pointed and laughed.

isiah thomas said...

I pointed and laughed.

hopefully you didn't drop the boom mic

Jugdish said...

Ball State quarterback Nate Davis held his pro-day workout for NFL teams, but only one showed.



hilarity

Jugdish said...

osama was on 60 min last night



when is he going to stop campaigning?

El Padrino said...

whitlock gonna be pissed

El Padrino said...

"when is he going to stop campaigning?"

not anytime soon, tomorrow night is a address to the nation all all the channels

ns

Jugdish said...

I think only the Colts showed up

El Padrino said...

he might put a McCain hologram up and debate him

Jugdish said...

not anytime soon, tomorrow night is a address to the nation all all the channels



suite...now we get to hear more about how nothing is his fault, that he is outraged, and the buck stops with him.

He probably needs to spend less time on the talk shows and more time reading the next stimulus bill.

El Padrino said...

"He probably needs to spend less time on the talk shows and more time reading the next stimulus bill."

I opposite of disagree with you.

El Padrino said...

last night he wasnt so sharp and quick without the teleprompter

El Padrino said...

during tonight's speech nancy pelosi is going to be riding him

they might even do the keef sanchez

isiah thomas said...

I wouldn't put it past Osama to have his own reality show in the next 3 years.

ns

Jugdish said...

have you seen the teleprompter website?

isiah thomas said...

suite...now we get to hear more about how nothing is his fault, that he is outraged, and the buck stops with him.

please stop criticizing him, he's only been in office a few months.
























































































s

El Padrino said...

great find jug, cant believe i never saw that

Jugdish said...

Rush interviews the teleprompter...good stuff

Jugdish said...

someone add the teleprompter widget to lov

isiah thomas said...

what's he addressing the nation for so soon after the fake SOTU he had last month?

Jugdish said...

to remind us that he is outraged

isiah thomas said...

hopefully he'll tell us that he didn't create these problems.

Jugdish said...

Sexsomnia


suite

isiah thomas said...

so Lance will fly back to the US to consult "medical experts" about his broken collar bone.


Dr. Giggles "ummmm, Lance, you have a broken colarbone"

Lance : ::flank stare::

isiah thomas said...

The next time the Tennessee Titans try to desecrate a Terrible Towel, they’ll have to deal with a house full of Steelers fans.

The Titans open the 2009 season with a Thursday night visit to Heinz Field, according to Ed Bouchette of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.


FOOTBALL!

Blue said...

i don't understand people who buy the big pop when they "dine-in" and there are free refills

Blue said...

but they are not rivals

Blue said...

i hope the broncos don't get brady quinn

isiah thomas said...

i don't understand people who buy the big pop when they "dine-in" and there are free refills

if I "dine in" and don't get a meal deal I always rock a small drink.

Blue said...

"if I "dine in" and don't get a meal deal I always rock a small drink."

it's bernankian economics if you don't

Jugdish said...

dollar menu

Blue said...

this is the type of advise that is invaluable

Jugdish said...

this is the type of advise that is invaluable



that, and keef's "how to" guide for sex moves.

Meiz said...

Holy crap. There's Breers baseball on TV

isiah thomas said...

Holy crap. There's Breers baseball on TV

woe

Meiz said...

That may have been the best use of woe ever.

Steve said...

Cindy still has it.

She was one of my first posters when I was a young lad.

This one i think.

Meiz said...

That's a decent offer, Freak, but I think I may be punting holds this year.

isiah thomas said...

keef is not a cindy crawford fan

ns

in related news, keef is communist

Meiz said...

"keef is not a cindy crawford fan"


Get the fuck out. Keith really is a commie.

spaceman spiff said...

fuck

spaceman spiff said...

this

spaceman spiff said...

shit

spaceman spiff said...

bolder

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