Friday, March 06, 2009

TO, MANNY, AROD! NEXT!

I wonder what me thinks about me now. A day after the outspoken wide out was released we all have to sit through 200 people guessing where T.O will end up. Ed Werder is prominetly involved. My guess is the Saints. Although the thought of Shockey and T.O on the same team will make anyone's head explode.

Manny signed with the Dodgers. It took about as long as the escrow for T's condo.

WWL didn't know what to do yesterday. TO, Manny, AROD! 3 aplha dogs controlling the sports news. What was the lead story? Neil Everett was so giddy I thought he was going to jerkoff on the shot sheets. Remember when we all used to love sportscenter. Catching the constant loop the day after a long night out at the bar. Dozing off to the 11pm show. No it's just a goopy mess of nonsense. Analysts and nobody reporters. All trying to break a story and prove their existence. What ends up happening is they beat a story to death within 4 minutes of it breaking. Transcript below:

We have news out of Bristol that Arod is to have hip surgery and be out 10 weeks, let's go now to Jayson Stark who is in Tampa, Jayson?

Stark: Yes.

Anchor guy: What will the Yankees do now?

Stark: Well, it looks like they will deal for a 3b. Possibly by the end of this conversation. Arod will be back by July 5th, which is the Sunday night game with the Red Sox.

Anchor guy: Yankees/Red Sox, can't wait. Thanks Jayson.

Anchor guy: And now we immediately take you down to Valley Ranch where Ed Werder is live on the TO situation. Ed?

Ed Werder (wearing a clown suit) : Yes.

Anchor guy: What could you tell us about the TO situation that we don't already know?

Ed Werder: Nothing. But I will make shit up for 4 minutes to fill air time and I will say Jerry Jones 76 times and TO 87 times and Wade Phillips may be fired, Tony Romo is the new leader and Jason Garret will change his name to Jesus Christ.

Anchor guy: Ed thanks, we will now take you to John Clayton who is standing by in his crypt. John?

Clayton: Yes.

Anchor guy: Can you speculate John on where TO might end up?

Clayton: No idea but the Redskins already said no and since I have no other information on any teams I will just guess. But my guesses count more than anyone else's because I'm John Clayton and have been dead for 18 years.

Anchor guy: Great John thanks.

Anchor guy: Well, let's go over to Pedro Gomez who is live outside Dodgers camp. Pedro?

Gomez: Si'.

Anchor guy: Pedro as we all viewed the Manny press conference he seemed like he was in a good mood. Is that the feeling in Dodger camp?

Gomez: Donde esta la biblioteca?

Anchor guy: There you have it. Manny is back and happy. Thanks Pedro.

I can't blame them though, sounds like a suite gig and a nice way to make a living. But enough is enough with Ed Werder and Stephen A. Smith and Pedro Gomez and Jayson Stark and John Clayton (who btw should have been dead years ago, I'm convinced he gets a blood transfusion daily) and all the other jackals they put in front of a camera to report "live".

Anyway college bball is heating up. I start to size up the 64 right about now. Penn State with a huge win last night. Storming the court looks fun and terrifying at the same time. They might have sneaked in the back door with that thrilling win. I'll end now.

One of my guys just got back from Trinidad and got me this. It's the weekend advice. Drink a bottle from your co-worker. I will do a comparision with the Appleton Jamaican rum.




834 comments:

1 – 200 of 834   Newer›   Newest»
tem said...

best post in a long while.


they cancelled donuts and bagels at work to cut costs.

so tem went out and bought some on his own dime. it was like $6.

now the big wigs are, wait a minute random 9 just walked by.

El Padrino said...

"so tem went out and bought some on his own dime. it was like $6."

gr8 guy

El Padrino said...

where is tits?

tem said...

ok so the big wigs are mad because i upstaged their call.

tem said...

cheap asses.


tem only bought for the people that actually work for our company though. which meant tem bought 1 donut and like 12 bagels. instead of buying 30 bagels and 10 muffins and 12 donuts for people that don't even work for our part of the company.

El Padrino said...

going over the big wigs head on bagles and donuts, they need to get over themselves

El Padrino said...

feed the people

tem said...

they are probably already over it.

they were just grumpy because they didn't have any bagels on a friday morning for the first time in at least 7 years....well not counting holidays.

tem said...

excellent post by the way.

a 5 star post.

Beth said...

"where is tits?"

I figured I'd give someone else the first comment for a change.

Blue said...

tem is challenging 'the man'

now tem should put the cost of the donuts and bagels on his expense report.

tem said...

i only file those when i travel.

so maybe i'll sneak it in the next one.

El Padrino said...

thanks tem

beth, dont do it again

Blue said...

i don't like people who refer to grilling as bbq'ing

bbq is a sauce

tem said...

bbqing is the act of putting bbq sauce on something.

El Padrino said...

agreed

Blue said...

a lady just said "my husband bbq'd some steaks last night"

i said "gross, why would you put bbq sauce on steaks", and it made her mad.

same person who calls vacation "holiday" fucking people from michigan.

El Padrino said...

calling vaca "holiday" is a british thing

what a moron

El Padrino said...

fire her

Beth said...

Down here in the south, grilling is very often called barbecueing.

El Padrino said...

i thought it was referred to as "cooking out"

tem said...

i have heard it called bbqing many times, but i agree, it is grilling or cooking out.

Blue said...

i've heard people saying that they're having a BBQ, or are going to a BBQ.

which is acceptable.

tem said...

stock market is hilarious.

1 day down,

next day recovers some

next day down

next day recovers some


rinse, wash, repeat.

tem said...

"which is acceptable."

if it is actually a BBQ.

if they are just grilling hamburgers and hotdogs then a BBQ it is not. unless they were to throw some BBQ sauce on the hotdogs and hamburgers.

Blue said...

bbq should not be a verb

kodiac said...

i said "gross, why would you put bbq sauce on steaks",

I like putting BBQ sauce on steaks when I am grilling them

Blue said...

that's because you are short

Blue said...

why would you ruin a fine piece of meet by putting bbq sauce on it?

tem said...

who did you meet and put BBQ sauce on?

tem said...

el tardo has a mailbag.

tem said...

9 just walked by again, going to follow her around stalker like again.

Blue said...

offer her a bagel or a donut...

"the donuts are on the table if you want one"

kodiac said...

why would you ruin a fine piece of meet by putting bbq sauce on it?

I put Famous Dave's Rich and Sassy BBQ on just about every *meet; pork chops, burgers, etc.

Blue said...

howard the duck is coming out on DVD

Blue said...

fair enough

El Padrino said...

what about harry and the hendersons

kodiac said...

what about harry and the hendersons

awsome 30 Rock last night

Beth said...

"what about harry and the hendersons"

Not sure if you mentioned this cause you saw 30 Rock last night EP,but there was a very funny running joke about Harry and the Hendersons last night on it.

Jugdish said...

checking in...what did I miss?

Beth said...

Kod, do you watch The Office too? Both shows were very good last night.

El Padrino said...

that's why i mentioned it, it was hilarity

Beth said...

"checking in...what did I miss?"

EP is short and Mize is still angry and unappreciated.

Oh yeah, and Keith got married.

Jugdish said...

thanks for the recap!

El Padrino said...

"checking in...what did I miss?"

i'm the same
spiff is half gook half wetback
beth is pregnant
tem found love again
keef is in hawaii on his honeymoon
zeke quit again
blue got divorced
kod had another kid who then had another kid who is now pregnant
deke had a heart attack and needs open heart surgery

Jugdish said...

Is mize still andy, or did another personality emerge? should he be called hershel walker?

Beth said...

Of EP's updates, I think about 1/2 are actually true. Now you get to try and figure out the true ones jug.

Jugdish said...

Every other one is true.

El Padrino said...

meiz is andy who is now darth vader

and he actually said he was kod's father

Jugdish said...

another branch in the kod family tree

El Padrino said...

blue you ever hit up the casinos outside of denver?

El Padrino said...

what is with husbands killing their families

fuck man

tem said...

"tem found love again"

no that's done now.

Blue said...

"blue you ever hit up the casinos outside of denver?"

i have. they had $5 limits up until recently. They're pretty cool other than that. full gaming

Jugdish said...

no that's done now.



what did you do?

Blue said...

no sportsbook though, i think

Blue said...

who

El Padrino said...

"Frank TV Has Been Cancelled"

thank god

El Padrino said...

no sporstbook anywhere but nevada

El Padrino said...

"no that's done now."

bedskirt?

tem said...

"no that's done now."


i didn't do anything...the bedskirt just prolonged it.

it wasn't a great match so time to move on. that happens.

Jugdish said...

she have a lazy eye?

El Padrino said...

the watchmen chicks are hot
the naked parole officer in sin city and the hot ass mechanics wife in harold and kumar

kodiac said...

Kod, do you watch The Office too? Both shows were very good last night.

yeah, the 3 shows I make a point to never miss are Lost, Office and 30 Rock. Agreed on both shows last night. Office has been down a bit this year, but last nights' was quality.

Beth said...

"yeah, the 3 shows I make a point to never miss are Lost, Office and 30 Rock."

Same for me. (Along with Scrubs, Amazing Race and Survivor.)

Are you totally caught up on Lost? I have a question about the last episode but don't want to give away anything if you're still behind.

kodiac said...

Are you totally caught up on Lost? I have a question about the last episode but don't want to give away anything if you're still behind.

yeah, caught up. What's your question? I'm a little confused on a few things, but I may be able to help.

El Padrino said...

My question is why is Lost so fucking retarded and what is your favrotie popcorn?

Beth said...

I understand that Jack & them went back to the island, but how'd they get back in time to the 70's? Are we supposed to know that?

I swear though, I think I get more confused every week, but I still enjoy watching.

tem said...

"she have a lazy eye?"

she does now.

Beth said...

"My question is why is Lost so fucking retarded and what is your favrotie popcorn?"

I think EP is just happy to be talking to Kod cause he knows that's the 1 person on LOV that can't make a short joke...

Jugdish said...

she does now.


well played

Jugdish said...

body slam

tem said...

i haven't watched a single episode of scrubs this season.

kodiac said...

I understand that Jack & them went back to the island, but how'd they get back in time to the 70's? Are we supposed to know that?

Well, after Ben moved the wheel, he made the island skip around in time. Locke was able to stop the skipping by moving the wheel...but the island was frozen in time at the point when he spun the wheel (which was the 1970's).

I think that since the island was stuck in the 70's, when Jack and them landed on the island, they were transported back to the time it currently is on the island (the 70's).

I'm curious to see how (and I guess if) they are able to get to the present day again.

Jugdish said...

I'm curious to see how (and I guess if) they are able to get to the present day again.


and if they can find some plutonium to generate the 1.21 gigawatts.

JFreak said...

jug, wanna join the fantasy baseball keeper league?

also: found a new job yet?

tem said...

maybe they will find a delorean.

El Padrino said...

everyone read kod's "lost" comment and someone please agree with me how retarded it sounds




*but it's cool, it's a show i understand that, just seems like too much work, i like to be entertained a little more simpler than that*

Beth said...

Interesting explanation kod, I can kinda see that.

Jugdish said...

with a mr.fusion

spaceman spiff said...

"what is with husbands killing their families

fuck man"

head of household, the head goes bad, the body dies, its biology

spaceman spiff said...

jack's dad will tell them how to get back to present time, can someone tell me why he is HNIC? why is he running shit?

Jugdish said...

Send me the info on the league...do you have my email?

I got the new job, starting on March 30

tem said...

i nerve* seen a minute of Lost

tem said...

what's the new job jug?

isiah thomas said...

great post

that...just...happened.

JFreak said...

"do you have my email?"

probably, but i can't find it.

isiah thomas said...

the company I used to work for also axed the friday bagels and people tried to start a "friday bagels" fund.

we never had bagels again bc noone gaf to give their own money.

Blue said...

i nerve watche lost either

El Padrino said...

new yob

congrats, what is it

Jugdish said...

what's the new job jug?



full time air national guard...it specialist.

I figure govt jobs are safer from the wrath of Obama.

isiah thomas said...

awsome 30 Rock last night

on the dvr, good the here*

El Padrino said...

zeke you still blocked?

Jugdish said...

probably, but i can't find it.


snoop_mikey_mike@yahoo.com

isiah thomas said...

I figure govt jobs are safer from the wrath of Obama.

Thanks Osama

isiah thomas said...

Lost talk less < fantasy talk

lost talk = charlie brown teacher voice

isiah thomas said...

zeke you still blocked?

for some reason comments link worked this am, sure it will kick off here shortly.

isiah thomas said...

Lost should go all the way with the cookyness and weave in the cast from Perfect Strangers.

don't tell me Balky Bartocamoose wouldn't add something something to that show.

isiah thomas said...

congrats on that yob airman jug

Blue said...

cousin larry is already on the show probably

isiah thomas said...

did y'all see there was a line in that stimulus package (or that other spending bill on the table) something like 100+ mil for "pig smell analysis" in iowa?

ns

JFreak said...

I agree with EP, lost is too much work for something that's supposed to be entertaining.

isiah thomas said...

Lost should just keep making shit more outlandish until they get a zero rating.

"Tonight....on Lost, Dr. Nick shows up to provide medical care for people on the island"

and I mean bring the animated Dr. Nick on the show.

isiah thomas said...

from what I know about Lost from either people on this blog or from previews....

there was a plane crash
there was a mysterious black cloud of death
somehow guns showed up
the other half of the island is a resort
some people were rescued off of the island but not everyone
then they went back for some dumbass reason
now there is a time masheen

isiah thomas said...

jug are you going to put "jugdish" on your helmet?

and always walk around with the sunglass visor down when you have it on.

isiah thomas said...

from the post

re: Neil Everett

hate that guy, he sucks.

Blue said...

neil everett was on the radio yesterday telling me about some kid who died in michigan and trying to make me care.


it did not work

spaceman spiff said...

new black guy 'coachman' on sportscenter has an annoying voice

isiah thomas said...

didn't he say Pete Carroll, Matt Leinart and Sanchez went to the funeral or was that a different kid?

Jugdish said...

jug are you going to put "jugdish" on your helmet?


like maverick? nahh...sadly I am not a pilot.

we used to have F-16s at our base, but our mission changed and now we are getting these predator drones. Now the pilots are flying these remote control planes. The funny thing is they still wear flight suits.

isiah thomas said...

try to get a helmet anyway jug

Blue said...

"didn't he say Pete Carroll, Matt Leinart and Sanchez went to the funeral or was that a different kid?"

yep, same kid

Jugdish said...

try to get a helmet anyway jug

I'll do that. we will also have weekly shirtless volleyball tournaments.

JFreak said...

SG mailbag was good.

isiah thomas said...

I'll do that. we will also have weekly shirtless volleyball tournaments.

hopefully they'll have special parking for your motorcycle.

JFreak said...

"we will also have weekly shirtless volleyball tournaments."

invite rev.

isiah thomas said...

and don't mess up the lyrics to "you've lost that loving feeling" when you sing it at the bar.

isiah thomas said...

jug 1st day, you must have "highway to the danger zone" blaring from your ride as you pull into the place.

isiah thomas said...

your mission if you choose to accept, is to call your boss "jester" on the first day.

isiah thomas said...

and hit someone with the windmill high five when you meet them.

Jugdish said...

your mission if you choose to accept, is to call your boss "jester" on the first day.



If I do that I'll end flying a cargo plane full of rubber dog shit out of Hong Kong.

isiah thomas said...

If I do that I'll end flying a cargo plane full of rubber dog shit out of Hong Kong.

horry mackerar

isiah thomas said...

just don't play ping pong in ding dang if you're over there.

isiah thomas said...

I haven't had any redbull yet.

scurry

isiah thomas said...

on the top of CNN.com

Job loss fears? Talk to Ed Henry LIVE on CNN Radio at 877-266-4189

really?

"Ed, help me man, help me!, I'm scurred"

JFreak said...

Invite sent, jugdish.

Don't be a flake.

Blue said...

jug, you're dangerous

isiah thomas said...

Santana out for year with Tommy John surgery

JFreak said...

Anyone opposed to weekly lineups for the keeper league?

With a caveat that if a player goes on the dl on monday or tuesday you can replace him.

isiah thomas said...

"Amare won't be back this season"

RIP

Blue said...

hmmm, sounds fishy

isiah thomas said...

opposed

why not daily lineup changes?

El Padrino said...

airman, suite

El Padrino said...

good try zeke

El Padrino said...

A for effort

Jugdish said...

I'll accept it later on tonight. I'm mutombo'd on yahoo email here,

El Padrino said...

but serious yesterday's sportscenter was 100% like my post without the funny jokes

in a span of 10 minutes they covered arod, to and manny with

steve phillips
jasyon stark
peter gammons
trey wingo
herman edwards
mark sclethngbavgghth
pedro gomez
stephen a smiff
john clayton

NS

isiah thomas said...

NASA hates yahoo!

JFreak said...

"why not daily lineup changes?"

less work. might keep people more active.

only a thought.

isiah thomas said...

I can't watch more than 5 minutes of SC at a time.

prolonged watching causes seizures.

BOO-YA!

isiah thomas said...

less work. might keep people more active.


an owner not wanting to fuss with daily changes can set-up a lineup and leave it for weeks if they like and adjust as they like.

don't reward lazyness* (like Osama)

kodiac said...

"Amare won't be back this season"

RIP

I think it's karma for your IN DE FACE comment when Al Jefferson went down.

Jugdish said...

jug, you're dangerous



I am dangerous.

JFreak said...

I like dailys...just thought I'd see where everyone else's head was at.

spaceman spiff said...

"Anyone opposed to weekly lineups for the keeper league?"

very opposed, I can;t be any more opposed to something

isiah thomas said...

IN DE FACE! zeke

spaceman spiff said...

NS

isiah thomas said...

mine as well* bring up p-n-d'ing, is there weekly transaction limits?

spaceman spiff said...

""Amare won't be back this season"

what if they make the postseason

kodiac said...

IN DE FACE! zeke

hilarious

isiah thomas said...

what if they make the postseason

out

sounds pretty serious (ns)

spaceman spiff said...

nice booty

isiah thomas said...

anyone with NFLN, always be on the lookout when Rod Woodson is on, he is a HDH machine.

this morning I heard him say, "I'd have leery thoughts" (in regards to signing TO)

JFreak said...

"is there weekly transaction limits?"

there is a yearly tranny limit and there is also some espn thing where they put a cap on starts allowed per week.

El Padrino said...

bootay

JFreak said...

why wasn't amare wearing his goggles?

isiah thomas said...

I'm calling TO to the Texans, AJ + TO is pretty good.

JFreak said...

Also, the standard ESPN league adds a CI, MI and 2 OF spots.

Should we add that to the roster, or keep it as is?

isiah thomas said...

I say mirror whatever Y! does and add any tranny limits or starts per week limits.

isiah thomas said...

Boyz II Men will be performing here later this month.

MO-TOWN PHILLY BACK AGAIN!

Jugdish said...

when is the draft?

JFreak said...

Based on the current rosters, the max games started can be anywhere from 8-14 a week.

I'm thinking 12 is a good number.

JFreak said...

Sunday, March 29 at 3 PM EST.

isiah thomas said...

I'm thinking 12 is a good number.


How many potential SP and P slots are there, take that number and double it and that should be the max - no more than 2 starts per slot.

JFreak said...

3 SP, 3 RP and 2 P.

isiah thomas said...

EP - you hearing anything about Berkshire Hathaway being in trouble?

isiah thomas said...

10 to 12 would work

isiah thomas said...

I bought my pops one of those laptop holders - seen a ton of commercials for them lately.

he said it is suite.

El Padrino said...

"EP - you hearing anything about Berkshire Hathaway being in trouble?"

they came out with earnings earlier this week

they lost some dough but who didnt, they are fine

Blue said...

berkshire hathaway, no troubles

they didn't dabble in the shitty investments like asset backed insecurities

they're rock

JFreak said...

Anyone besides zeke want to weigh in?

Blue said...

spiff said no

blue said no

EP said something but i couldn't hear it up here

tem said no

JFreak said...

There were more issues than just one.

isiah thomas said...

Didn't think they were, but read this earlier this week:

Bloomberg reports the swaps, which are in effect insurance against a default by Warren Buffett's holding company, are trading at levels "more typical of junk-rated companies" even though Berkshire retains its triple-A rating.

isiah thomas said...

There were more issues than just one.

McgLOVlin Group

Blue said...

issue one: weekly starts...no

issue 2: more teeny tiny table tops...wrong!!!!!!!!

issue 3: can freak just make a decision...wrong!!!!

tem said...

"SG mailbag was good."

i disagree. worst mailbag i have read in awhile.

but to each their own.

tem said...

i think we should kill the yahoo! baseball league.

JFreak said...

I've gotten so much shit in the past for making the league decisions without anyone else's thought.

Don't get a fucking attitude with me because I asked for input.

tem said...

"tem said no"

i said no to what?

tem said...

tem DNGAF about weekly or daily lineups.

El Padrino said...

he wrote down the swaps
even admitted to making a dumb mistake

swaps/derivitives is the aids hooker which every one fucked

El Padrino said...

i'm against the weekly thing, i like daily changes

tem said...

super hot waitress at bw3s today.

today has been a good day for seeing random hot chicks.

Blue said...

tem is the Y! commish, he can kill it if he wantws

Jugdish said...

tembama

isiah thomas said...

bailout the Y! league Tembama.

spaceman spiff said...

im fine with whatever for max starts, max transactions

JFreak said...

My estranged grandfather died yesterday.

There have been discussions about going to spit on his grave.

ns

Keith S said...

"Keith had a PukaDog yet?"

no

isiah thomas said...

There have been discussions about going to spit on his grave.

he was a Pats fan huh?

too soon?

El Padrino said...

call volumes are high

FFFFFFFFFFUUUUCKKKK you cablevision

JFreak said...

"too soon?"

Never too soon when a person you hate dies.

Keith S said...

EP

isiah thomas said...

what happens when a bum dies (or someone with no family around)? Does the state/county take over and bury the guy? cremate him?

isiah thomas said...

keef - what's the talent on the beaches like?

Jugdish said...

keef...congrats on getting married!

El Padrino said...

john doe gets buried on the state's dime

Keith S said...

"keef - what's the talent on the beaches like?"

Lots of families and old people. There was a little trim at the snorkeling beach yesterday

Keith S said...

bolder

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"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





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"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino