Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Thoughts, Dream, Movie Review

OK some thoughts.

1) Why the hell hasn't Matt Jones been suspended by the NFL? Has he been already and I missed it?

2) Why do people want to axe me questions when I am writing my post? Can't these people see I am busy?

3) Nobody on Denver seems to like Cutler. All the players seem to be saying "yeah we want Jay, but we trust management to do what's right." That isn't exactly a ringing endorsement from your teammates Jay....I hope he goes to Detroit and not Tampa. Maybe Tampa can land Derek Anderson....damn, Derek Anderson is the best I can hope for as a Bucs fan.

Now onto my dream from last night, this is the second time I have had this dream(well the same theme). I hope I have not relayed it to you all before.

So I am driving down the interstate to I don't know where and traffic is backed up like no other. I am getting pretty pissed off so after about an hour of waiting in the car and doing a little chit chatting with the chick in the car next to me I decide to walk up to the front of the line and see what gives.

When I get up there the US Army is there and Bill Clinton (who in this dream was still president, how do I know this? Because I said "Hi Mr. President") was there directing the troops. Except he was no doing a good job, he was panicking. The troops were all over the place and they were scared. Then I looked at the enemy and sure enough it was bunny rabbits attacking with packs of skittles. Those sumbitches. So I told the army general guy that they are just bunnies, grabbed a gun and shot one. Everyone looked at me like I was a genius and the army started shooting all the little bunnies. The tide had turned.

But then out of the sky came parachuting hedgehogs. The general wouldn't shoot the hedgehogs because apparently it isn't cool to shoot parachuting things. So he was waiting until they landed to shoot them. But then the hedgehogs started throwing super grenades that blew all sorts of shit up. The general dude ordered everyone to open fire, but it was too late, those hedgehogs blew up the army.

So Bill, the general and I are hiding behind the median of the interstate brainstorming ideas while cars and tanks and people are getting blown up. Finally Bill decides that when a hedgehog sees his shadow he goes back to his cave. I tried to tell him that he was thinking of groundhogs, but he said he was the president and they are the same thing. Well his plan didn't work and a bunch of hedgehogs ate him and the general. So I was trapped and the hedgehogs took me back to their base.

The King Hedgehog told me he liked my quick thinking against the skittles bunnies and promoted me to head of the hedgehog army. That was cool because I thought he was going to kill me. So then I took charge of the army and planned another attack against bears that were armed with Charleston Chews...which is funny because I am not exactly sure what a Charleston Chew is. Anyway, I woke up before we began our offensive.


Now Movie Review:

12 Rounds


This movie is based on a country song. The song was 12 Rounds With Jose Cuervo (sp?). So this movie is about some dude that tries to drink 12 shots. At the beginning of the movie he is all sober and fine but as he gets more drunk hilarity ensues. Well not really, this movie is lame. The funniest part is after shot 10 when he goes to the girls' bathroom instead of the boys.

The worst part of this movie is that 12 shots really isn't that much. They just exaggerate the effects of alcohol too much. 12 shots will get ya drunk, but you aren't going to try to hump the stuffed deer (remember country bar) in the lobby. Also, there were way too many hot chicks in the bar. I don't know if any of you have been to country bars or not, but there are three types of chicks there. 1) fat chicks, really fat chicks. 2) hot chicks, yeah really. Country bars have a good amount of hot chicks there. 3) butt ugly chicks. Of course I think 1 and 3 make 2 look hotter than they really are, but that's ok, country bars have hot chicks and I'll stand by that....Anyway, the movie bar only had type 2.

In the end this movie provides no laughs, no nudity and an unrealistic look at bars and drinking.

0 helmet stickers, do not see.

783 comments:

1 – 200 of 783   Newer›   Newest»
Jugdish said...

how do I know this? Because I said "Hi Mr. President")

you know they call former presidents "Mr. President" too.

tem said...

not in my dreams they don't.

El Padrino said...

Police said a man shot his neighbor, mistaking her for a monkey as she was picking sapodilla fruit in his tree.

tem said...

that is a common mistake.

Beth said...

A deal for Mize.

Beth said...

And here's a stupid female question for someone to answer - when y'all are saying you have too much "chalk" in your brackets, what's that mean? That you have too many favorites advancing?

Steve said...

So Tem, you where supporting America, then joined the enemy as soon as it became convenient.


Traitor!!

Meiz said...

"That you have too many favorites advancing?"



Yes

El Padrino said...

beth is so cute

El Padrino said...

"So Tem, you where supporting America, then joined the enemy as soon as it became convenient.


Traitor!!"

yea, this doesnt sit well with me, the tard has a point

El Padrino said...

die with honor tem

El Padrino said...

fucking commie

El Padrino said...

remind me not to pick tem on my dogdeball team

tem said...

yes, i joined the super grenade throwing hedgehog enemy, however, everyone was dead except me so I am not sure it counts as being a traitor.

tem said...

dog de ball sounds interesting.

Meiz said...

"So Tem, you where supporting America, then joined the enemy as soon as it became convenient."


Seems logical

El Padrino said...

Pack it up, Pack it in
Let me begin
I came to win
battle me that's a sin

El Padrino said...

i came to get down
i came to get down
so get out your seats and

JUMP AROUND

JUMP AROUND
JUMP AROUND

JUMP UP JUMP UP AND GET DOWN

JUMP
JUMP
JUMP
JUMP
JUMP
JUMP
JUMP
JUMP
JUMP
JUMP
JUMP
JUMP
JUMP
JUMP
JUMP
JUMP
JUMP
JUMP
JUMP
JUMP

tem said...

el pad must have enjoyed his booze and porn last night.

El Padrino said...

i go bonkers when that song comes on

tem said...

clearly

El Padrino said...

this is one of the best videos i ever seen, folks in deep alabama say there is a leprechaun amongst them

no really watch this and laugh at the sheer stupidity of people

tem said...

is it SFW?

El Padrino said...

yes, local news report

El Padrino said...

Liam Neeson's wife all fucked up

tem said...

that amature sketch is awesome.

Blue said...

i enjoy a good leprechaun story

tem said...

liam neeson will find whoever did that to his wife and he will kill them.

Blue said...

nobody gives a shit about cutler


I think they're getting closer to the "let him rot on the bench" mode.

his cap number is only like $3M this year, so it's not like they're wasting a bunch of money by not playing him.

tem said...

my office smells like a fart, but i have not farted today.

i think someone stopped by and farted and then left.

tem said...

"so it's not like they're wasting a bunch of money by not playing him."

well chris simms will get it done. except the except opposite.

Jugdish said...

i think someone stopped by and farted and then left.


Could be some older beer farts stored in your chair's cushion...not uncommon.

tem said...

it might be that too.

tem said...

it might be a crackhead.

got into some bad stuff.

climbed up in the tree to play a leprechaun.

Jugdish said...

his cap number is only like $3M this year, so it's not like they're wasting a bunch of money by not playing him.


there are teams out there that would really want him because of his low cap value, which is also a reason the Broncos would be hesitant to deal him. He does seem a little bitchy though, they should trade him to the Lions.

tem said...

he is clearly a douchebag.

Jugdish said...

I bet if he was on the Lions they would at least double their win total from last year.

Jugdish said...

Let's see how the Rooney Rule works in Ireland

Meiz said...

I'm getting sick

Jugdish said...

I wouldn't mind seeing the Bears make a push for Cutler.

ns

The Bears' QB situation has been shitty for years.

Meiz said...

Orton's money

Jugdish said...

just not enough money

El Padrino said...

tem that was gold no

Jugdish said...

keef

Jugdish said...

corky

tem said...

"tem that was gold no"

high comedy for sure.

it has made the rounds around the office already now. lots of folks cracking up over it.

Jugdish said...

this is not helping Aroid

spaceman spiff said...

keef/zeke, cox does have nfl/mlb network in hd

tem said...

leaving for lunch now.

before i get axed more questiosn.

El Padrino said...

get the corned beef

Meiz said...

PJ Hill. Drunk driving & fleeing police. Not going to the NFL, kid.

Meiz said...

Corned beef is nasty

El Padrino said...

no it's not

Meiz said...

That's your opinion

Meiz said...

I think it tastes sour.

Beth said...

"Corned beef is nasty"

I agree with Meiz here, and I'm even a quarter Irish.

El Padrino said...

then you dont like the pickling spices

spaceman spiff said...

corned beef and cabbage A+

spaceman spiff said...

"and I'm even a quarter Irish."

hilarity

El Padrino said...

i'm 1/16th Mongolian

Meiz said...

1/2 Italian with shoes on

spaceman spiff said...

burn

JFreak said...

"corned beef and cabbage A+"

New Year's Day meal.

Used to hate it, now I love it.

El Padrino said...

wow arod is a gay

El Padrino said...

i love myself and i've never kissed the mirror in front of me

especailly all suductive and shit

Jugdish said...

especailly all suductive and shit


looked like he might be going for tongue

Jugdish said...

At what point does someone ask you to pose for a pic, and you hear their idea and just tell them "fuck no!"?

El Padrino said...

yeah. photog tricked gayroid

El Padrino said...

"ok now dangle your penis and pretend you are gonna try and kiss it"

Jugdish said...

I bet the photographers have a side bet to see who can get him to do the most gay thing.

spaceman spiff said...

"At what point does someone ask you to pose for a pic, and you hear their idea and just tell them "fuck no!"?"

axe meiz

Jugdish said...

axe meiz


good point. Wasn't there a pic of him kissing another guy, perhaps deluxe?

isiah thomas said...

I think tem took off his life vest and is sinking to the bottom of the ocean.

hilarity

Tyler said...

Is there an LoV bracket pool on yahoo?

isiah thomas said...

liam neeson will find whoever did that to his wife and he will kill them.

hilarity

Meiz said...

This scummy lady filling out an application is in need of white-out. Not a good sign.

isiah thomas said...

i think someone stopped by and farted and then left.

walk-by fartings are the best

Steve said...

ARod is the new Zoolander.


You're a monkey, ARod! Dance, monkey, Dance!!

isiah thomas said...

there are teams out there that would really want him because of his low cap value, which is also a reason the Broncos would be hesitant to deal him. He does seem a little bitchy though, they should trade him to the Lions.

not sure about bonuses but I believe if a player is traded his bonus that was pro-rated gets accelerated and you must have enough cap space to make it work. So if his current # is 3M but most of the bonus is pro-rated, his trade number could be much higher.

Tyler said...

What is the carnsarned LoV bracket pool number and pathword?

isiah thomas said...

keef/zeke, cox does have nfl/mlb network in hd

I just have regular D

*hanging head in shame

isiah thomas said...

Corned beef is nasty

shut your pie hole

isiah thomas said...

Group ID #60610

Tyler said...

Corned beef is glorious. It tastes better than God's vagina.

Meiz said...

Blue knows the info

isiah thomas said...

forgot the pathword

isiah thomas said...

having a pot of corned beef bubbling up on the stove for 3 hours and it stinks up the joint.

glorious

isiah thomas said...

I peeped game on some of that Will Ferrel (sp?) GW Bush play.

some was aitch, some was ::flank stare::

JFreak said...

password is ibtc

isiah thomas said...

not enough bracket talk here, wft

isiah thomas said...

Dhani Jones's show was HDH, very good.

isiah thomas said...

In his weekly appearance on WEEI in Boston, Adam Schefter of NFL Network said that the Panthers won’t be trading defensive end Julius Peppers to the Patriots.

“That trade is not gonna happen,” Schefter told Dennis & Callahan of WEEI.


Jews and ball don't lie

El Padrino said...

yeah i liked it

isiah thomas said...

Schefter cited the financial investment that Peppers would require and the looming class of Patriots free agents (including Vince Wilfork and Richard Seymour), who will be on the market in 2010.

Schefter’s opinion conflicts sharply with a Monday report from Vic Carucci of NFL.com, who seemed to suggest that a trade would happen at some point between the upcoming league meetings (which open on March 22) and the 2009 draft.

“I’m telling you, they’re not gonna do it,” Schefter said later in the segment. “. . . . I don’t believe for a second there’s any truth to it.”

Schefter then said he’s 99.9 percent sure that Peppers won’t be playing for the Patriots next year.

But Schefter then acknowledged that that 0.1 percent could come to fruition, and that he could be exposed as a “complete fraud.”

Meanwhile, Schefter said that he regards the chances of the Pats signing defensive end Jason Taylor as “realistic.”

El Padrino said...

belichick sucks again then

Steve said...

I've never tried Corned Beef Hash, I can't get over the way it looks or smells.

If i wanted to eat dog food, I'd buy a can of Alpo.

isiah thomas said...

The rumor of agent Bus Cook being in Buffalo on Monday has prompted Bills fans to collectively hyperventilate regarding the possibility of a trade of Broncos quarterback Jay Cutler for Bills quarterback Trent Edwards.

isiah thomas said...

corned beef hash and eggs = hangover gone

isiah thomas said...

keef:

The Bengals could land as many as four compensatory draft picks next week.

Keith S said...

"A deal for Mize."

Gross

El Padrino said...

zeke bracket talk will heat up, i'm not even in the regionals yet

cept for lousiville who i already have in the title game

El Padrino said...

corned beef hash is food of the gods

El Padrino said...

"god's vagina"

wow

isiah thomas said...

briefly touched on this last night, first run through for me = wayyyy too much chalk

l'ville, UNC, mempho and pitt (I think)

biggest surprise was ASU to the Elite 8

Keith S said...

"I peeped game on some of that Will Ferrel (sp?) GW Bush play.

some was aitch, some was ::flank stare::"

We get 3 free months of HBO when they set up DTV this week, so I'll check that out. cmk ♥s Will Ferrell so we'll probably watch it every time it comes on

Keith S said...

"The Bengals could land as many as four compensatory draft picks next week."

I'd trade them all for a new coach

El Padrino said...

oh cuse will beat asu fo sho

Keith S said...

"oh cuse will beat asu fo sho"

Harden eats pieces of shit like them for breakfast

El Padrino said...

relax superfan

isiah thomas said...

oh cuse will beat asu fo sho

usually after a good Big East tourney run Cuse shits the bed.

I love Flynn's game, but Harden will torch him.

spaceman spiff said...

EP,

agreed, dhani jones was solid, glad he realized those prostitutes were dudes

isiah thomas said...

ASU choked vs USC in the final few minutes, look for big things from them, senior leader (Pendergraph), soph guard going pro (Harden), white guy who can stroke it (who cares what his name is).

ASU/Cuse will be a good game.

spaceman spiff said...

cuse is primed for a letdown

isiah thomas said...

Dhani don't play dat.

Keith S said...

"relax superfan"

Stick to beisbol. You would be better off just having 1 team per year disappoint you.

El Padrino said...

i agree cuse might be dead tired or run out of steam and i agree their history has been spotty but Temple is a tougher out than Stephen Austin #1 and #2 cuse can shoot the 3 and if this tournament has shown me anything it's take teams that finish strong and take teams that can shoot the 3

Meiz said...

"white guy who can stroke it (who cares what his name is)."



Paging Dr. Padrino, Dr. Padrino, you're needed in the front lobby.

Keith S said...

"ASU choked vs USC in the final few minutes"

They did, but the 21-4 FT disparity was laughable.

El Padrino said...

i had 4 teams from the big east in the final four orginally

i had to switch that up

Keith S said...

"i had 4 teams from the big east in the final four orginally"

Relax superfan

El Padrino said...

down year for PAC 10

remember that

cuse has played an infinity of tougher teams this year

El Padrino said...

Relax superfan

didnt even realize it

ns

El Padrino said...

"Stick to beisbol. You would be better off just having 1 team per year disappoint you."

instead of having 6 like you

Keith S said...

"cuse has played an infinity of tougher teams this year"

awsome*

isiah thomas said...

They did, but the 21-4 FT disparity was laughable.

it's all fized

Keith S said...

"instead of having 6 like you"

Exactly.

Keith S said...

"it's all fized"

This is true

El Padrino said...

i know nothing about perdue

can someone tell me if they have the players to get by uconn

i'm beggin for a reason to have uconn out but they seem to have the easiest bracket out of all the #1's

Keith S said...

My Final 4 is Memphis, Louisville, UNC, 'Nova

El Padrino said...

i've seen perdue play once this year

El Padrino said...

unc loses to LSU

mark it down

Keith S said...

Purdue could be one of those teams that gets to the Elite 8 even though they have no business being there. They play good D. And their coach looks like Shane McMahon

Keith S said...

LSU loses to Butler

isiah thomas said...

I have purdue making a run, can't remember what round though.

El Padrino said...

shane mcmahon analogy alone they are in the elite 8

thanks

isiah thomas said...

Butler lost to Cleveland St.

re-read that

(no excuses freak)

Keith S said...

"Butler lost to Cleveland St.

re-read that"


Syracuse lost to Cleveland St.

Keith S said...

I have Cleveland St. in the Suite 16

ns

El Padrino said...

"I have Cleveland St. in the Suite 16

ns"


fuck, so do i

ns

El Padrino said...

dammit, still have 3 out of 4

El Padrino said...

i'm too high on marquette

Keith S said...

I normally just do the bracket 1 time. I hate second guessing shit, and changing it, and end up having it wrong because I changed it.

El Padrino said...

"Johan Santana tossed 56 pitches in four innings during a minor-league intrasquad game today.

Santana allowed two runs on six hits and struck out five."


good to go slapnuts

JFreak said...

Cleveland State isn't a bad team.

El Padrino said...

"I normally just do the bracket 1 time. I hate second guessing shit, and changing it, and end up having it wrong because I changed it."

have you ever won a ncaa pool?

Meiz said...

Marquette sucks.

isiah thomas said...

Syracuse lost to Cleveland St.

I don't have Cuse going far

El Padrino said...

misery could beat mempho you know

El Padrino said...

Cleveland St. 2009 = Davidson 2008

isiah thomas said...

I'll make a Cle St./Suite 16 bet if there are any takers.

isiah thomas said...

have you ever won a ncaa pool?

everyone will win when our conversion to socialism is complete.

El Padrino said...

damn hammels is ok

isiah thomas said...

I have 3 12 seeds advancing.

isiah thomas said...

I have 2 "1-2-3-4" brackets in the SS, the other two are "1-2-3-5" and "1-2-3-6"

I suck.

isiah thomas said...

*"1-2-4-6"

isiah thomas said...

not watching college hoops until the final week was a bad choice.

Steve said...

Why are ya'll jumping on the Cle St. bandwagon?

JFreak said...

Why are you on the Duke bandwagon?

isiah thomas said...

I'll make a Cle St./Suite 16 bet if there are any takers.

El Padrino said...

it's purely speculation

Blue said...

ffuck

isiah thomas said...

What’s the most amazing fun fact to consider if I want to win my pool?

Here’s a stat that will absolutely blow you away. Since 1962, the Final Four has featured either an ACC team and/or UCLA every year except for five (2003, 1996, 1987, 1985, and 1979).

Meiz said...

Now's the part where I start getting queasy and feel like puking.

isiah thomas said...

By the way, Connecticut hasn’t won a postseason game since losing to George Mason in the 2006 Elite Eight and this class of Orange haven’t been to the NCAA Tournament in three years.

El Padrino said...

i knew that

El Padrino said...

jenna jameson

twin boys
future cage fighters

isiah thomas said...

I have OSU beating L'ville now.

Steve said...

i'm looking at them now, trying to see what ya'll see. don't see it.

they got a good win at Syracuse, 1-3 against Butler.

El Padrino said...

"I have OSU beating L'ville now."

stop it

isiah thomas said...

Hilltoppers now in the SS.

Keith S said...

"good to go slapnuts"

He's one of my keepers, so that's good newz

Keith S said...

"have you ever won a ncaa pool?"

Once.

Keith S said...

"I'll make a Cle St./Suite 16 bet if there are any takers."

Gotta get some odds

El Padrino said...

"Once."

me too

isiah thomas said...

3 days for me, 1 for you

3 to 1 sounds decent

Keith S said...

"I have OSU beating L'ville now."

I have them winning the first round only, but I wouldn't be surprised, only shocked, if they lost to Siena

Keith S said...

I'll make the bet. A week for you, 2 days for me?

isiah thomas said...

a week = 7 or 5 days?

isiah thomas said...

my brackets are less chalky now

Keith S said...

we'll do 6

isiah thomas said...

alright, Cleveland State to the Suite 16:

if they get there you get my name/pic for 6 days, if they do not I get your name/pic for 2 days.

Blue said...

cleveland state loses in the first round

Blue said...

they blew their wad

Blue said...

this locks up the 3 seed for the nuggets

isiah thomas said...

L'ville didn't play at Pitt and at Uconn this season right?

isiah thomas said...

North Dakota State Bayyyy-beeeee!

DET

El Padrino said...

"thenewyorkpostJust got confirmation -- Actress Natasha Richardson in brain dead... More details to come."

holy shit, twitter

tem said...

right now i have wvu winning it all.

i'll change it later unless i forget.

Blue said...

who is natasha richardson


and what's a twitter

isiah thomas said...

OSU is now not beating L'ville.

isiah thomas said...

who is natasha richardson

nolan's daughter

isiah thomas said...

Sienna over OSU

Blue said...

"nolan's daughter"

oh, i thought it was Q's wife

tem said...

"who is natasha richardson"

liam neeson's wife.

tem said...

"and what's a twitter"

it's a girls vagina.

El Padrino said...

twitter is micro-blogging platform

El Padrino said...

"L'ville didn't play at Pitt and at Uconn this season right?"

right

isiah thomas said...

Zaga over UNC

isiah thomas said...

MSU, Mempho, Pitt, UNC

Mempho, Pitt

Mempho 85-72

whoop there it is

tem said...

charlotte has a shot against purdue.

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"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





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"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino