Monday, February 09, 2009

It’s like the luck of the Irish, only I’m not Irish

Well, since Tyler & ESPN stoled my thunder, this is going to appear like cumfastery. IDGAF. Here are a few predictions for the 2009 NFL season.

1) The Cards take a huge step back and finish in 3rd in the NFC West. Not just because they’re the Cards, but also because that’s what Super Bowl losers do.
2) Singletary and will keep his pants on and lead the 49ers to 1st place in the West.
3) Brady will have difficulty coming back from a knee and will call it a season during week 3 or week 4.
4) A prominent player will get kilt
5) Houston will make the playoffs, and Tennessee will not.
6) Baltimore will beat Atlanta in Miami in the 2010 Super Bowl. However, there will not be a Falcons DB get arrested for getting a hooker on South Beach this time around.

Arod juiced. Shocking

Ryan Howard got $18mil/per. Enjoy the same # of Ks with fewer HR & RBI, rev. You insufferable bastard. WADR of course

It was hailing here today, and off and on rain. Stupid rain cancelled softball for tonight. And tonight was supposed to be our make-up games from a rainout last month. This is Phoenix metro area, not Seattle. Fuck the rain.

And now, I’ll do a mini-running diary of the Grammy awards. This will be the first time I’ve watched an awards show in at least 2-3 years. So here we go…
(ALL TIMES MOUNTAIN)
6:58 – Here we are in the freshly moved into as. shaped mansion in Gilbert, AZ. Fmk is currently not home, which is nice because I don’t have to explain why I’m making a running diary
6:59 – Already regretting making this decision to a) watch the Grammy’s and b) have a running diary about it. I’ve almost determined that having a runny diarrhea would be easier than this
7:00 – U2 leads off the show. Seriously regretting this decision right now. I’m thisclose to zeking out on this diary
7:01 – I think Danny Bonaduce is playing bass for U2 now
7:02 – The sound in the arena must be horrible. The screen behind Bono is showing the words as he’s singing. Probably a good thing because I haven’t understood one word up to this point
7:02 – I better slow my pace or this post will be a rev-like 27 scroller
7:03 – U2 is still playing. I’m checking the Smith & Wesson website to see if they have same-day delivery.
7:06 – Whitney Houston comes out and shows some leg as she introduces the best R&B album. One of the nominees is Boyz II Men. (ns) Whitney is high right now. I’d do her. Jennifer Hudson gets the token “Sorry about your family, here’s a Grammy” award.
7:07 – Dwayne Johnson will never be anything but The Rock. I can’t take him seriously otherwise
7:08 – Oh shit, Carrie Underwood is gonna be on. I just closed the S&W website. Goddman, so are the Jonas Brothers. Back to the search
7:09 – Timberlake comes onstage as mize breaks out a fresh new sock. JT talks about a bait store. Mize has hearts in his eyes now
7:20 – Coldplay performing live. Now would be a good time to piss
7:22 – Jay-Z cameo made me stop mid-stream
7:26 – Ladies and gentlemen, Carrie Underwood meow. CU is to me as Faith Hill is to zeke. To borrow zeke’s line, if Carrie Underwood is wrong, I don’t want to be write*
7:32 – Country music award. Time to go finish that piss
7:36 – Lincoln commercial uses Ground Control to Major Tom song. I hope tem is getting royalties
7:41 – Song of the year goes to Coldplay. They’re all wearing corny outfits
7:54 – Hannah Montana and Taylor something are singing a song “together for the first time”. Between the 2 of them they have a total of 2 lips. There are a lot of gums on my TV screen right now
8:09 – Jonas Brothers and Stevie Wonder on stage. If Stevie could see right now, he’d break that keyboard in half and kill everyone on stage. Poor guy
8:15 – Coldplay wins another award. Still wearing corny outfits
8:25 – Kanye loaded up on the Soul-Glooooooooo tonight
8:30 – Lull in the action. I’m going to In ‘n Out
8:48 – And we’re back. Double-double, with onion, no tomato, animal style fries, large vanilla shake. Don’t even trip
8:49 – I had the DVR on pause whilst I was gone. I started playing it now, and Kenny Chesney is playing. I should have just let it play. Goddman, country music is worst than anything in the world. Even bad aids
8:55 – As mentioned in LoVAD, some 8 15/16 month preggo chick was in a rap collab that was awful
9:00 – Fast forwarding thru Paul McCartney live performance
9:03 – Jack Black’s father-in-law just said pianist
9:06 – Sugarland & Adele on stage right now. Annoying just broke a world record
9:14 – Off topic a little, but those Cash-4-Gold commercials are freaking amazing. I know it’s been discussed here before, but it’s worth repeating. So you’re telling me all I have to do is mail in my gold, and you’ll mail me back money in the amount that you feel that it’s worth? Where do I sign up? (s)
9:18 – USC marching band is on stage with Radiohead. It’s actually more awkward than it sounds
9:27 – Samuel L on stage now. He’s still tired of those motherfucking snakes on that motherfucking plane
9:28 – Timberlake performing live now. It’s a good thing for mize that socks come in pairs. If JT & Prince ever performed live together, they’d need extra security to keep mize at least 500 feet away
9:39 – Motown tribute w/ Smokey Robinson is pretty HDH. This has been the only bearable part of the show so far
9:47 – Neil Diamond performing Sweet Caroline right now. Fmk said she would go all wrecko on his old as. Old man does put on a good show, though. (She didn’t say “all wrecko”, but she’s in love with his old as.)
10:12 – Will.I.Am & T-Pain come out to present, but I don’t know which one is which. One of them congratulated Obama. They’re presenting the best hip-hop award, and there aren’t any white nominees. Lil Wayne wins it. Then his whole family came on-stage
10:20 – fmk got home. Time to wrap this up
10:25 – I walk into the room and look at the TV and say “Wow, who are these homos?” and fmk says “That’s Green Day”. RIP Green Day. You were magnificent sons of bitches.

This wraps up my first ever running diary. That was too much work. I'm too ADD for this type of stuff

540 comments:

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Beth said...

Nice effort on the running diary Keith. (ns)

But were you confused or were you trying to expand the sock jock from freak to mize?

tem said...

socks aren't one man "gals."

tem said...

slow start

Blue said...

slow this, retard

Blue said...

this just in...the pro-bowl still sucks, and larry fitz is still amazingly awsome*

Blue said...

they have a tough time getting guys to go to Hawaii to play in the pro-bowl, starting next year it's in the host city of the superbowl during the off week. I can just see all the guys getting super excited to go play in the pro-bowl in Indy in a couple years.

Beth said...

"socks aren't one man "gals."

So socks are sluts? Who knew.

Blue said...

speaking of sluts...where's EP this morning

tem said...

"So socks are sluts? Who knew."

freak and meiz apparently.

El Padrino said...

present

tem said...

"So socks are sluts? Who knew."

are you afraid of the competition?

ooooohhhhhh bbuuuuuurrrrrnnnnn

tem said...

"So socks are sluts? Who knew."

their pimps.

tem said...

"So socks are sluts? Who knew."

it's only recently. we can thank obama for the new fact that socks are sluts.

tem said...

fucking el pad ruined my "So socks are sluts? Who knew." Z

El Padrino said...

in and out sounds delicious

Blue said...

i guess obama likes to give speeches.

he has like 3 speeches in the next 2 days

if it starts messing up my tv schedule, i'm gonna be pisse.d

El Padrino said...

hotpockets are not delicious

the meatballs tasted like play-doh and the sauce was way too suite

terrible product, i'm ashamed for anyone who enjoes those

El Padrino said...

obama loves speeches
it's the main reason he was elected

rhetoric in full effect

Blue said...

nobody enjoes hot pockets

but they're quick and easy...kind of like socks

Blue said...

"in and out sounds delicious"

top notch

Blue said...

"try the hot-pockets, they're breathtaking"

Beth said...

"are you afraid of the competition?"

Damn, I'm devastated now, I think I may have to quit LOV...

s

El Padrino said...

i guess i'll do my taxes this week

Blue said...

i just got an email that somebody in our office isn't coming in because of a "sever allergy"

Blue said...

did my taxes yesterday, gettin some dough back...uncle same is a bitch

El Padrino said...

i should be getting back, paid an awful lot and i have a seed

El Padrino said...

but serious why only arod's name
totally not fair

El Padrino said...

and if he hasnt juiced since what is the big deal

Blue said...

i agree, at what point do the other 103 players get named

tem said...

it's a big deal because nobody likes him.

tem said...

"Damn, I'm devastated now, I think I may have to quit LOV..."


now i feel bad.


s

Blue said...

"happy monday" people need to be choked.

i know what fucking day it is, and i'm not real "happy" about it

El Padrino said...

it's the roids era, when will we move on

tem said...

"sever allergy"


sounds severe.

i wouldn't come in either if i had that.

El Padrino said...

"hsppy Monday"

Please die.

Sincerely, LOV staff & members

Keith S said...

"But were you confused or were you trying to expand the sock jock from freak to mize?"


sock is the easiest joke, requires no thinking

Keith S said...

"hotpockets are not delicious"

Here we go again.

Keith S said...

They take 90 seconds to cook. They're not supposed to be gourmet

Beth said...

"sock is the easiest joke, requires no thinking"

Oh yeah, cause the rest of the stuff we type on LOV requires so much thinking...

Blue said...

some of my stuff is very well thought out

El Padrino said...

"They take 90 seconds to cook. They're not supposed to be gourmet"

i know that, but it doesnt taste good

wft

other forzen items i eat, jose ole taquitos are good, stouffers french bread pizza not bad, etc

Beth said...

"some of my stuff is very well thought out"

Well OBVIOUSLY I didn't mean you blue...

s

Keith S said...

"other forzen items i eat, jose ole taquitos are good, stouffers french bread pizza not bad, etc"

The chicken parm and the cheeseburger hot pockets are decent

Blue said...

josé olé is good stuff.

i mean it's like being in mexico

Keith S said...

LT on dancing with the stars is hilarity. Same with Steve-O

El Padrino said...

how much pressure is on tiger woo's baby boy

Keith S said...

"how much pressure is on tiger woo's baby boy"

The pressure of all of us wondering what it's like to suckle on those magnificent teets?

Keith S said...

Can't we all just get along

Keith S said...

I don't understand how those fires in Australia killed about 200 people? They should call California and learn how to escape fires

Blue said...

"LT on dancing with the stars is hilarity. Same with Steve-O"

::Flank stare::

El Padrino said...

it's so hot shit just combusted into flames

El Padrino said...

i'm upset lt is doing this

Blue said...

"I don't understand how those fires in Australia killed about 200 people?"

aborigines don't have the interweb

JFreak said...

Anyone else want in the MLB Keeper?

Post your e-mail.

Keith S said...

CNN headline...

Man, 47, marries girl, 8

Blue said...

chris brown is an abuser, who knew

El Padrino said...

injuns plight in alaska, sounds terrible, dont know why they live there though

El Padrino said...

"I don't understand how those fires in Australia killed about 200 people?"


i do hope that cute blogger is ok

El Padrino said...

"Anyone else want in the MLB Keeper?

Post your e-mail."


u know i'm in

El Padrino said...

so chris brown whupped rihanna's ass the night before the grammy's?

JFreak said...

"u know i'm in"

Then post the e-mail where you want your invite sent, you dope.

El Padrino said...

paulus dunked on, again

JFreak said...

good work padfast.

El Padrino said...

thanks

tem said...

its what he does.

Blue said...

it if what it if

Keith S said...

"good work padfast."

We should rename the award

El Padrino said...

should i link the sully 60min. interview or was that done already

JFreak said...

Don't link anything, ever.

spaceman spiff said...

"Don't link anything, ever."

well said

El Padrino said...

damn, my feeling is hurt



S

spaceman spiff said...

tiger kid named charlie

El Padrino said...

Charlie Woods

got it

El Padrino said...

GIVE ME THE GREEN LIIIIIGHGGHHGGTTT

El Padrino said...

the pregnant rapper still givin me the heebies-jeebies

El Padrino said...

robert plant/alison kraus

::flank steak::

El Padrino said...

Jericho straight punches a bitch

Blue said...

fucking nuggets got blown out by like 40 in New Jersey on saturday...fucking disgrace to humanity

El Padrino said...

do you understand the eggrolls that are going into my belly

spaceman spiff said...

"robert plant/alison kraus

::flank steak::"

same, there always those years where some album or movie wins all the awards yet no normal person has ever seen or heard the shits

El Padrino said...

i fount out plant was lead in the band Led Zeppelin

El Padrino said...

no word on kraus yet despite reading she has won 25 grammy's

Blue said...

you didn't know who Robert Plant is?

this is worst than tem's movie nollidge


alison kraus is some shitty country singer, so don't fret on that

El Padrino said...

spiff katy perry has great tits

really, really , really nice tits

on WWTD if anyone cares

El Padrino said...

not a led zepellen fan blue

Blue said...

"not a led zepellen fan blue"

i hate led zepplin too..but i just thought everyone knew that.

Blue said...

"really, really , really nice tits"

it's the godman truth.

scary ass face, but those tits...yum

Blue said...

her bikini pictures are all stuck together at home

spaceman spiff said...

yea her tits are solid, too bad about her mug

spaceman spiff said...

nikki cox awfulness

no wonder fat as. jay mohr landed her, wow she's dunzo and will only get worse

Blue said...

awful

El Padrino said...

man she already looks like a desperate housewife

El Padrino said...

one thing about underwood, a bit too skinny small chicken lips

i'm jus sayin, i understand that i'm picking on an angel

spaceman spiff said...

EP how do you feel about pizza hut taking their lasagna to italy and getting real italians to admit that it tastes just like mamma makes it

El Padrino said...

rothlisberger played with broken ribs, so they say

El Padrino said...

"EP how do you feel about pizza hut taking their lasagna to italy and getting real italians to admit that it tastes just like mamma makes it"

I smell horseshit.

El Padrino said...

D'antoni blew the game last night

Blue said...

Tuscani lasagna...mmmm

Blue said...

3 lbs of lasagna for $14, can't beat that deal

spaceman spiff said...

vlad rad acting like he doesnt mind being traded to the bobcats is hilarity

Blue said...

that could be a pizza hut challenge..."eat an entire tuscani pasta order in one sitting"

Blue said...

Adam Morrison is going to be big-tyme in LA...if only Rony Turiaf was still there.

spaceman spiff said...

i hope morrison gets as much playing time as sun

Blue said...

i guess with bynum's injury, the lakers felt like they really needed to go small ball

Angry Leprechaun said...

D'antoni blew the game last night

-yeah, killed my 4 team parlay

Blue said...

he did the dirty bird when he got out

Keith S said...

"i fount out plant was lead in the band Led Zeppelin"

Wow

Keith S said...

"no word on kraus yet despite reading she has won 25 grammy's"

She sings bluegrass music. Not many stars in that genre

Keith S said...

"yeah, killed my 4 team parlay"

Were the T-Wolves part of that?

Keith S said...

"should i link the sully 60min. interview or was that done already"

Sully interview was solid. Except for that bitchy stewardess complaining about how violent the landing was, then talking about how she was screaming at everyone to move.

El Padrino said...

bluefast

Blue said...

i'm quicker than most

Blue said...

i think the proper term should be blue-padrino

Blue said...

the updated term

Blue said...

LoV1: "wasn't that already linked?"

LoV2: "yeah, he just went padrino on us"

isiah thomas said...

White Men Can't Jump

isiah thomas said...

one thing about underwood, a bit too skinny small chicken lips


chicks with no upper lip are downgraded fo sho.

isiah thomas said...

I think I might try the PH lagnaza*.

their stuff crust joint is good.


maybe take the first 2 days of the tourney off, order a large pep. stuffed crust and a lagnaza.

ns

tem said...

is it padrino or blue-padrino?

Blue said...

brilliant idea by zeke

Blue said...

"is it padrino or blue-padrino?"

why can't it be both?

El Padrino said...

first two days off tourney would be great

El Padrino said...

if i didnt have a kid

El Padrino said...

zeke make sure your pulling out on time ro keep filling those birf control pillz

Keith S said...

"White Men Can't Jump"

yes

El Padrino said...

"White Men Can't Jump"

yes we can

*fized

El Padrino said...

but serious who cares about 2003 if he hasnt tested positive since?

El Padrino said...

until they get a test for HGH no one is clean in my eyes

Keith S said...

"no one is clean in my eyes"

Well that's all that matters

isiah thomas said...

but serious who cares about 2003 if he hasnt tested positive since?

mlb player union solt* him out.

"annonymous"

ahahahahahaha

IN YOU FACE! A-Roid

isiah thomas said...

noone is clean in my eyes

*fized

El Padrino said...

players union is a disaster

Keith S said...

"but serious who cares about 2003 if he hasnt tested positive since?"

Steroids are illegal. Doesn't matter when he took them

spaceman spiff said...

lagzana tasted good, 3 pounds is just a big number they throw at you, didnt seem like that much food

Keith S said...

"didnt seem like that much food"


Nothing seems like that much food to you

isiah thomas said...

lagzana tasted good, 3 pounds is just a big number they throw at you, didnt seem like that much food

spiffg have you tried the pasta (ns)

3 lbs of pasta is a shitload.

Keith S said...

shitload is a good word

ns

isiah thomas said...

me and fmz went to Trader Joe's this weekend.

we picked up a 3$ bottle of wine, fmz goes "I saw it in that Rachel Ray mag you got me for Christmas, let's try it"

zeke: ::flank stare::

followed by, "let's get a "back-up" bottle bc I guarantee you take one sip and say you don't like it"

later that night, she takes one sip "eh, it's alright, let's open the other bottle"

zeke: ::flank stare::

spaceman spiff said...

2 buck chuck from trader joe's is solid, theyre raiding the proce some cents because of the economy though, so now its 2 buck chuck and some change

spaceman spiff said...

raiding* the proce*

its contagious

spaceman spiff said...

never had the ph pasta

tem said...

Steroids are illegal in the US not other countries.

He could have taken them in some other country and it is all perfectly legal.

isiah thomas said...

raiding* the proce*

that was HOF HDH

nice work

isiah thomas said...

He could have taken them in some other country and it is all perfectly legal.

well, he's claiming allegiance to the DR so maybe he did it there.

Keith S said...

"He could have taken them in some other country and it is all perfectly legal."

Yes, that's what happened

Keith S said...

But if he did do that, they should have just raided the proce

isiah thomas said...

heard A-Roid has admitted to taking them from 2001-2003.

damn

isiah thomas said...

Jose Canseco has been the most honest and trust-worthy person during this whole debacle.

ahahahahahahahahahah

IN YOU FACE! MLB

isiah thomas said...

A-Roid story

"I like poking things in my ass"

for shame A-Roid

isiah thomas said...

"Sources who know about the testing results told SI that Rodriguez tested positive for testosterone and Primobolan and other Playtex products, an anabolic steroid. In his ESPN interview, Rodriguez said he did not know exactly which substance or substances he had taken. In 2003, there were no penalties for a positive result.

Keith S said...

"A-Roid story"

As much as I hate the guy, at least he's admitting he did it.

isiah thomas said...

As much as I hate the guy, at least he's admitting he did it.

t'is ironic that a guy who gets clowned for being a bitch is the one manning up.

spaceman spiff said...

in the katie couric interview i love the part where she asks him if he was ever tempted to use and he gives that fake 1 second thoughtful look then says no.

spaceman spiff said...

with the way things went down with clemens, everyone who gets caught from here onout will admit it and apologize

spaceman spiff said...

i hope some red sox are on the list

El Padrino said...

wow

isiah thomas said...

I don't think one Sawx was mentioned in the Mitchell Report and few Sawx have been linked to this.

You know they had guys doing it too.

El Padrino said...

but, remember it was not banned yet

Meiz said...

I think I have the flu

Keith S said...

"I don't think one Sawx was mentioned in the Mitchell Report and few Sawx have been linked to this."


Isn't Mitchell somehow linked to the Red Sux?

Keith S said...

"I think I have the flu"


Rhymes with "moe"

spaceman spiff said...

"I think I have the flu"

its just flu like symptoms

Angry Leprechaun said...

Were the T-Wolves part of that?

yes, I bet on NO

isiah thomas said...

goddman, forgot about keef's name/pic

feel free to offer up suggestions

Keith S said...

"yes, I bet on NO"

Then what was all that "beware" talk about?

Angry Leprechaun said...

no work today due to freezing rain

-possibly tomorrow off as well if the next wave of the storm hits (crossing fingers)

isiah thomas said...

Angry Leprechaun said...
"Hornets only -3 vs Minny

lock-city"

I was thinking this earlier. Put them in a 5 teamer, but got 2.5 pts

-not lock city....not a homer....cancel it and switch it (ns)


goddman Leprechaun

Keith S said...

"no work today due to freezing rain"

lucky

Angry Leprechaun said...

Then what was all that "beware" talk about?

comment was (s); I didn't bet either way...but I would have bet on Minni if I could have (it was too late)

-I'm a terrible bettor

isiah thomas said...

Keef your new name is :

"I have a Jonas Bros Boner"

pic is here

El Padrino said...

yikes jo bros

Keith S said...

Not to sound weasel-ish, but any way I can get "boner" taken out of that? My work does monitor this stuff, and some of those dudes probably aren't 18 yet.

El Padrino said...

good thing i'm off tw, i dont have to look at it

El Padrino said...

"Not to sound weasel-ish, but any way I can get "boner" taken out of that?"

how bout ROD

El Padrino said...

"-possibly tomorrow off as well if the next wave of the storm hits (crossing fingers)"

not sure you want that
there are peeps in kansas dying and shit from ice storms

Keith S said...

Just noticed beth's HDH in the 1st comment

isiah thomas said...

"I have a Jo-Bros-ner"

Angry Leprechaun said...

not sure you want that
there are peeps in kansas dying and shit from ice storms

yeah, you're right, I don't (ns). Cmkod and sdkod1 are driving down to Minneapolis overnight tonight.

I have a Jo-Bros-ner said...

I feel like stevie wonder

tem said...

ha, sock jock.

tem said...

you should have used "underlines" instead of dashes.

I have a Jo-Bros-ner said...

It's already underlined

tem said...

cake in the office today.

and cookies, brownies and free sammiches.


banner day.

tem said...

"It's already underlined"

that's the point.

also underlines are underscores.

I have a Jo-Bros-ner said...

"cake in the office today.

and cookies, brownies and free sammiches."


There goes the efforts from the temdiet

I have a Jo-Bros-ner said...

"also underlines are underscores."

You said underline

tem said...

i put it in quotes.

isiah thomas said...

There goes the efforts from the temdiet

bulimia

tem said...

it was in reference to the other day.

tem said...

"There goes the efforts from the temdiet"

i avoided all but the cake.

I have a Jo-Bros-ner said...

"it was in reference to the other day."

Duh

I have a Jo-Bros-ner said...

JoBros made $12mil in 2007. Disgusting

tem said...

how does the came album win best pop and best country collaboration?

tem said...

"Duh"

i know you aren't a scientist, but this isn't science.

Blue said...

girl scout cookies magically appeared here today

it's a good day

samoas are awseom

I have a Jo-Bros-ner said...

"came album"


tem has been infected

Blue said...

the underscore gives it more weight or something the banana hammcock said.

I have a Jo-Bros-ner said...

I don't like to eat cookies that have what appear to be toenails on them.

isiah thomas said...

samoas are awseom

best GS cookie by far

tem said...

oh and upon further review.

album means song apparently.

it was not the came* song, it was different songs.

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