Thursday, February 26, 2009

Happy Wedding Day

In honor of one of our own getting married, today's videos will be about weddings.

Also, some sports happened.

people falling


people fainting


Congrats. Here's to many happy years.

279 comments:

1 – 200 of 279   Newer›   Newest»
Beth said...

Nicely done freak. (ns)

tem said...

"tem wouldn't talk to me on xbox live."


that was my buddy playing. i told him to tell you that "yeah, i thought it'd be funny" but he was too busy playing call of duty and wouldn't send anything.

El Padrino said...

wow people are dumb
every one of those scenarios you could tell exactly what will happen

very funny

Beth said...

Nice cover story there tem...

Beth said...

Hey, does anyone know what time Keith is getting married today? I was wondering if maybe he was getting married at like 10 a.m. cause it's cheaper...

tem said...

that's the truth, not a cover story.

if i was going to make up a cover story it would have been much more elaborate and borderline unbelievable.

Keith S said...

Me in 12 hours >>>>>>>>>>>

tem said...

i have no clue what time keith is supposed to get married, but the "cause it's cheaper..." is hilarity.

Beth said...

"if i was going to make up a cover story it would have been much more elaborate and borderline unbelievable"

Oh, so like the typical Tem story then, I got you.

(wadr)

Beth said...

Hey, Keith is here. So what time's the wedding Keith?

Keith S said...

beth is the cheaper

Beth said...

And how are those butterflies?

Keith S said...

Wedding is at 5:30pm MST

El Padrino said...

good one beth

Beth said...

"beth is the cheaper"

Come on, get it straight. I'm easy, not cheap.

El Padrino said...

word is the minister cant even speak english because it's cheaper

the wedding will be performed in Swahili

Keith S said...

Butterflies are alright. The titty bar last night helped.


ns

Beth said...

"the wedding will be performed in Swahili"

By some guy keith works with.

Keith S said...

Can't hear you, EP. Look up when you talk

Keith S said...

OK, time to golf

Beth said...

"Can't hear you, EP. Look up when you talk"

I think I'm going to like the EP short joke era.

tem said...

"Oh, so like the typical Tem story then, I got you."

yes

El Padrino said...

how tall is keef, i dont recall him being so tall

El Padrino said...

Tits cure all. It's true.

Blue said...

I don't like the precedent this sets

i thought i had at least 20 years before i had to worry about bgblue getting married, not 7

Blue said...

keith looks pretty tall when he's sprawled out on the beach

Blue said...

or is that picture in the desert in AZ

Blue said...

when does fmlb start drafts and stuff

Meiz said...

"I think I'm going to like the EP short joke era."

He's pretty much the only one that has avoided being run through the ringer until now.

Blue said...

well, except the whole Mets choking 2 years in a row thing

El Padrino said...

he's about 3 inches taller than csilok so if the national average for a woman is 5'3 then he is like 5'8

El Padrino said...

"well, except the whole Mets choking 2 years in a row thing"

and the i am a snob thing, which infuriated me to the point of starting a blog decalring i am not a food snob

Meiz said...

"well, except the whole Mets choking 2 years in a row thing"


Sports doesn't count

Meiz said...

"and the i am a snob thing, which infuriated me to the point of starting a blog decalring i am not a food snob"


I'm discounting this one for the integrity of my previous statement.

Meiz said...

I'm gassy this morning

Meiz said...

I hope A-Rod hits 60 bombs this season.

El Padrino said...

me too

tem said...

"he's about 3 inches taller than csilok so if the national average for a woman is 5'3 then he is like 5'8"

steering clear of 5'8" being more than 3 inches taller than 5'3"....

he's about 3 inches taller than the fridge/freezer, which averages about 5'8" So he is about 5'11"

Meiz said...

I'm rooting for him just to shove it in everybody's face

Blue said...

i think keith said he was 5'10 and three quarters.

so good guesstimate tem

tem said...

i hope arod gets injured and has to sit out all year so all the news outlets can say he got hurt because he quit roids or because he did roids or because he started using roids again or because madonna gave him aids.

Meiz said...

Buy stock in Sonic

El Padrino said...

"i think keith said he was 5'10 and three quarters."

wow, i'm a lilliput compared to him












S

Blue said...

"Buy stock in Sonic"

they are the thunder now

tem said...

the hedgehog?

Meiz said...

Oh, right. Buy stock in the Thunder.

Meiz said...

"the hedgehog?"

If you'd like

Meiz said...

I'm testing out my investment mgmt skills today.

Meiz said...

Coca-cola is recession proof.

Meiz said...

Not even 9:00 and I'm eating Laffy Taffy.

tem said...

laffy taffy is recession proof.

Meiz said...

Fact

Blue said...

buy stock in coleman.

tent city is only a few years away.

Meiz said...

I won't have a Coleman tent

Blue said...

well, there's 280Million others who might

tem said...

buy stock in shoes with really thick soles that make you look taller.

Blue said...

what brand of tent will mize have

Meiz said...

but I might buy Coleman stock

Meiz said...

"what brand of tent will mize have"

Kelty or Trekker

tem said...

meiz will make his own tent out of deer hide.

Blue said...

oh, so he's going to have a tent that is made by coleman with a fancy logo on it, so they can charge you more

tem said...

blue knows tents it seems.

he is researching this tent city stuff too much.

Meiz said...

"oh, so he's going to have a tent that is made by coleman with a fancy logo on it, so they can charge you more"


Yeah, fuck Coleman

Blue said...

i have to be prepared

Beth said...

meiz will make his own tent out of human skin from people he will kill.

*fixed

tem said...

gross

El Padrino said...

blogger is a cunt

Blue said...

ah, mize is buffalo bill

Blue said...

i'd offer to post for keith on monday, but...i really don't have much to say

tem said...

so?

Blue said...

so's your face

Meiz said...

I'll post on monday
























s

tem said...

beth might post if you axe her nicely.

Meiz said...

Keith plays golf early in the morning

Blue said...

early is good when you live somewhere that it gets to 148° in the afternoon

Blue said...

meiz, hook me up with axe-ess and i'll post monday

Meiz said...

"early is good when you live somewhere that it gets to 148° in the afternoon"


Man up

Meiz said...

"meiz, hook me up with axe-ess and i'll post monday"


I'm not a contributor anymore

Blue said...

"man up"

says the guy who thinks it's too early for golf

Meiz said...

"says the guy who thinks it's too early for golf"


I didn't say that

Blue said...

maybe keith is trying to get in 36 holes today.

oh and he has that wedding thing this evening he probably has to be done with his 18 holes by then

Meiz said...

That shit can wait

spaceman spiff said...

"maybe keith is trying to get in 36 holes today."

nah dont think he'll be in the strip club the day of wedding

spaceman spiff said...

keef will be 6' at the wedding with whatever dress shoes he's wearing

Meiz said...

He could be like 6'3" if he uses lifts

Blue said...

ah yes, the platform heels

Blue said...

he could be like 9'7" if he had stilts

El Padrino said...

wft

spaceman spiff said...

doughboy has game

Meiz said...

Awesome

Meiz said...

Doughboy has rape game

Meiz said...

NY has the best cheaters

spaceman spiff said...

fuck, just discovered some disturbing news about megan fox, she has 'clubbed thumb', disgusting

spaceman spiff said...

seen people with it in college, but only on japs

Meiz said...

I know a guy with a clubbed foot. He only wears long pants because of it.

spaceman spiff said...

ok

Beth said...

I had never heard of a clubbed thumb til you mentioned it spiff. But with the help of google, here's a pic of Megan Fox where you can see hers.

Beth said...

For what it's worth, according to the bible Anne Heche also has one.

spaceman spiff said...

yea thats the pic i saw beff, heres another pic, a close up

im shook

Meiz said...

"For what it's worth, according to the bible Anne Heche also has one."


Oh, that makes it cool then.

El Padrino said...

fuck dook

El Padrino said...

is a clubbed thumb a deal-breaker?

Meiz said...

Nah.

Meiz said...

"fuck dook"


I love it. And it was clean.

spaceman spiff said...

club thumb is a definite deal breaker, dont care who it is, no e-standards, i would feel sick everytime i saw it, cant help it

Beth said...

"is a clubbed thumb a deal-breaker?"

Didn't you see EP, spiff is SHOOK!

El Padrino said...

stop it, i'd let her give me a handjob with that clubbed thumb

Beth said...

"club thumb is a definite deal breaker"

Ok, just so I'm clear here spiff, if Megan Fox came up to you, barely dressed, oozing sexuality and whispered "take me right here, right now", you'd say "sorry I can't cause of your clubbed thumb" and walk off?

I'm calling bullshit on that.

spaceman spiff said...

im talking deal breaker in terms of being with/marriage, for sex, would have to paper bag her hand

spaceman spiff said...

nasty feet also deal breaker for being with/marriage

El Padrino said...

i dont like feet

El Padrino said...

.

El Padrino said...

Man Dies After 'Guzzling' Viagra During 12-Hour Romp...

El Padrino said...

i love how obama wants to raise taxes on people making over 250K yet most of these people are small business owners, which he claims are vital to the economy

inexperience shines again

Blue said...

club thumb moves her out of the top 5

spaceman spiff said...

blue is wise

El Padrino said...

oh look Joe Biden is wrong again

spaceman spiff said...

"Man Dies After 'Guzzling' Viagra During 12-Hour Romp..."

what a way to go out

El Padrino said...

she was never in my top 5 anyway

she's hot, but i never saw her as that super hot girl everyone went crazy over

Meiz said...

EP, go to a political blog with this shit

El Padrino said...

it's one link, calm your gerbil johnson

El Padrino said...

colbert is pretty funny sometimes

Blue said...

"she's hot, but i never saw her as that super hot girl everyone went crazy over"

EP missed transformers?

El Padrino said...

i saw it, so she's super hot in the movie, i'm basing this off normal shots or her and whatnot

Meiz said...

She looks kind of weird

Blue said...

oh, i see

tem said...

"stop it, i'd let her give me a handjob with that clubbed thumb"

same here.

but fucked up noses are a no go for tem.

tem said...

"which he claims are vital to the economy"

they are...they are going to pay the taxes to pay for shit.

spaceman spiff said...

"but fucked up noses are a no go for tem."

rosario dawson is out then, tem is wise as well

Blue said...

i like people who pay their taxes

Blue said...

yeah, and fucked up teeth

Blue said...

or tooth in tem's case

tem said...

"osario dawson is out then"

yes.

tem said...

tem has perfect teeth, except tem lacks wisdom teeth.

spaceman spiff said...

biel stripper gif




another one

Meiz said...

I'm gonna tell the new guy to completely disregard anything Dummy shows him in regards to work.


New guy's been here less than 3 weeks, and has a better grasp on the things we do here than that dumb cunt does.

spaceman spiff said...

"I'm gonna tell the new guy to completely disregard anything Dummy shows him in regards to work."

why didnt you advice* him a couple weeks ago. why do you need to advice* him now if he's doing fine

Meiz said...

"why didnt you advice* him a couple weeks ago. why do you need to advice* him now if he's doing fine"


Reinforcement. New employees are too impressionable.

Blue said...

mize likes to mold his crew

tem said...

the kid is probably 16, he is fragile.

tem said...

deke is his role model now and as such deke needs to reassure the kid.

Meiz said...

"the kid is probably 16, he is fragile."


He's 20.





And engaged. So there's a decent chance he might be missing a few bolts.

Meiz said...

I want this kid to do things accurately, and efficiently around here. The more efficient you are, the more time I have to jag around on the internet.

El Padrino said...

spiff those glf are memorizing

tem said...

20yrs old and engaged?

did he knock the bitch up?

tem said...

or is he dating waaaaay over his head and is trying to lock it up early?

El Padrino said...

didnt octomom have a cesarian surgery to deliver those babies?

tem said...

yes

tem said...

but at least some of her prior 6 were normal delivery.

tem said...

pedro as a pirate would be hilarity.

El Padrino said...

no cuz the gossip sites are all like "who wants to see her in porn her vagina is a tunnel" blah blah

you would think they would know she didnt delvier 8 babies vaginally

El Padrino said...

marbury signs with C's

operation fuck boston in full tilt

El Padrino said...

i dont know how i feel about reyes hitting third

El Padrino said...

so that's what that box is, i was wondering

tem said...

"you would think they would know she didnt delvier 8 babies vaginally"

you'd think they'd know that, but they don't.

Meiz said...

Dummy just turned a $260 sale into an $80 sale. Great job!

tem said...

tampa bay is $50M+ under the cap...wow.

tem said...

dummy sounds like a shitastic employee.

Meiz said...

"did he knock the bitch up?"

No.


"or is he dating waaaaay over his head and is trying to lock it up early?"

Don't know.



He's pretty fuckin' hilarious

Meiz said...

"dummy sounds like a shitastic employee."


If she were an internet personality, she'd be worse than Shammy

El Padrino said...

wow

Meiz said...

Just wait for when I post audio of her.

spaceman spiff said...

still dont get how someone described as so incompetent can even keep a job

tem said...

gotta have some chicks on the UPS payroll.

Meiz said...

"still dont get how someone described as so incompetent can even keep a job"


In 15 years, bossman has fired 3 people. He's a pussy. This is why I basically run the store.

Meiz said...

Customers even complain about her incompetence.

Meiz said...

"gotta have some chicks on the UPS payroll."


Also, yes.

Meiz said...

wall

El Padrino said...

tough day
i feel like my head is exploding

El Padrino said...

too much reading of rules and regulations

Meiz said...

I have a damn FMLB draft on this coming Wednesday already

spaceman spiff said...

"I have a damn FMLB draft on this coming Wednesday already"

lucky bastard

El Padrino said...

"Samuel L. Jackson, who had a 31 second cameo as S.H.I.E.L.D agent, Nick Fury, in last year's Iron Man, has just signed an unprecedented nine-picture deal with Marvel Studios to reprise the role."

SHIELD, ::flank strak::

Beth said...

So we're coming up on T minus 4 hours for keith if I'm doing my calculations right. Bet those butterflies are back pretty heavy for him right about now.

Meiz said...

this week would have been a good week for Keith to start smoking pot.

spaceman spiff said...

"SHIELD, ::flank strak::"

stop it

Tyler said...

"marbury signs with C's

operation fuck boston in full tilt"

Via Ball Don't Lie:

"So to recap: Stephon Marbury says he'll sign the vet's minimum with Boston, Paul Pierce dislocates his thumb, twice, the Celtics lose to one of the worst teams in the league and their back-up guard gets busted for a DUI — all in the span of, what, 24, 48 hours?

Marbury is incredible. He's like the anti-rabbit's foot."

spaceman spiff said...

"ust signed an unprecedented nine-picture deal with Marvel Studios to reprise the role.""

if marvel studios posted on here, i would tell them to stop it too, WFT.

Tyler said...

Penguins traded Ryan Whitney to the Ducks for, oh yeah, noone cares about hockey.

El Padrino said...

here that sound?

it's fmk barfing into the toilet as the hairdresser starts primping her hair

Tyler said...

S.H.I.E.L.D stands for Supreme Headquarters, International Espionage, Law-Enforcement Division. Then it was changed to something else in the '90s and then they changed it to something else for the Iron Man movie.

Tyler said...

Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement, and Logistics Division in Iron Man.

spaceman spiff said...

still amazed that the clips beat boston, wif or wifout anythingispossible

El Padrino said...

A SEX-MAD Russian died after guzzling a bottle of Viagra pills to keep him going for a 12-hour orgy with two women pals. The women had bet mechanic Sergey Tuganov £3,000 that he wouldn’t be able to satisfy them both non-stop for the half-day sex marathon. But minutes after winning the wager, the randy 28-year-old dropped dead with a heart attack, revealed Moscow police. One of the women, named only as Alina, said: “We called emergency services but it was too late, there was nothing they could do.”


spiff follow up

what a way to go for realz

Tyler said...

I can only imagine that Sam Jackson is going to be in every movie that they're going to be releasing: Iron Man II, Thor, Captain American, The Avengers, and then his own Nick Fury movie, and probably some sequels to the other movies that I mentioned. So, it's conceivable that he will fourfill* that contract. But of course, they'll probably stick him in a movie as a bad guy if all of those movies flop.

Tyler said...

On the radio they were having a text contest yesterday and you texted in to complete the following sentence, "If the Clips beat Boston, I will...". It was pretty funny, until the Clips beat them.

tem said...

"unprecedented nine-picture deal with Marvel Studios to reprise the role"

he is in basically every movie anyway.

that's like signing air to a 9 picture deal...basically every picture has air in it.

Tyler said...

And be a Juke. Box. Hero.
Got stars in his eyes.
He's a Juke. Box. Hero.
Got stars in his eyes.
Yeah, Juke. Box. Hero.
Got stars in his eyes.
With that one guitar he'll come alive.
Come alive tonight!

spaceman spiff said...

viagra story is superb

Tyler said...

"The 2009 edition of The Guinness World Records, which uses a different calculation to determine film grosses, stated that Jackson is the world's highest grossing actor, having earned $7.42 billion in 68 films."

$7.42 BILLION, son.

Meiz said...

New guy is cracking me up. Doesn't even know how to order pizza. This era is starting well.

spaceman spiff said...

"New guy is cracking me up. Doesn't even know how to order pizza. "

stop it

Tyler said...

"On October 30, 2008, TV Guide reported that Jackson is due to star as Sho’nuff in a remake of the 1985 cult martial arts classic, The Last Dragon."

Tyler said...

Meiz, why did't you just tell your boss to double your hourly and that you'd take care of both jobs?

Meiz said...

"Meiz, why did't you just tell your boss to double your hourly and that you'd take care of both jobs?"


He'd just give me stinkface.

Tyler said...

This.

Tyler said...

Place.

Tyler said...

Is.

Tyler said...

Dead.

Tyler said...

Anyway.

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