Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Hammer Time

OK, so nobody wanted the spot start, so tem is manning up and hammering one out. This is just like Willis Reed coming out of the tunnel and nothing at all like Paul Pierce coming out of the tunnel. It's not like Pierce because I do not have a vagina.

I'm going to toss out a temrant about chicks, but this has nothing to do with efmtem. I know nobody will really believe that, but it doesn't. Oddly efmtem does not write emails like this at all....anyway, why the hell do chicks always use exclamation points and smiley faces and multiple question marks in emails? It is totally wierd, but in the last five days I have heard from three chicks randomly, I think efmtem told them of our impending doom in some weekly meeting chicks must have, all three were just out of control with the question marks and exclamation points. I got this one "How have you been anyway???????", "We should get together for lunch or drinks sometime!!!!!", and "Let's do lunch, how about Thursday?!?!?!?!." WFT is going on here?

Back to that secret meeting thing. I really believe chicks have secret meetings. Also I believe that chicks can read your mind but they never tell anyone because it would cause a huge uproar and then scientists (because they are so smart) would figure out ways to stop it. Like dudes would wear metal helmets all the time and then the chicks couldn't read our minds anymore. Of course I also am afraid of microwaves, so maybe we shouldn't put any stock into anything I say.

By the by, I didn't watch any sports last night so I got nothing RE: Sports to write about. If you want sports you should just go to the WWL or something.


tem movie review:
Hotel for Dogs

This movie is basically about a hotel that only allows ugly people in. I think the original concept is that it will help build up the self esteem of ugly people. So anyway, this one chick always goes there and she is a total ugly chick, but of course that's she because she wear frumpy clothes and wears her hair like Animal the Muppet. So anyway, she becomes insanely popular amongst the ugly people, but then something happens....dun dun dun. She gets a makeover and is totally hot.

Now not all the ugly people (dogs) think this is cool. Some of the nicer dogs are totally down with it but some of the dogs hate it. Some think that because the chick is no longer a dog she should be banished to the hotel next door (the hotel for foxes). Eventually the newly hot chick goes to hotel for foxes and kind of fits in. Something isn't totally right, but she lets it slide.

So of course the big Tri-City hotel Olympics are coming up and the chick gets on the Hotel for Foxes team. She sees her Hotel for Dogs ex-friends and feels real bad. Somehow the Dogs team makes it to the finals against the Fox team. I guess ugly people can be good at things too. Anyway, the last event is like hair combing or something ugly people suck at (this is where the movie falls apart). So the Ugly team is having lots of trouble and getting crushed. The newly hot chick starts feeling really bad and then a montage of scenes with her and her ugly friends plays to Tiffany's Could've Been. I think someone in Hollywood wants Tiffany to be a two hit wonder...but I digress. Anyway, new hot chick switches teams, combs the shit out the ugly people's hair and team Hotel for Dogs wins the Tri-City Olympics and everyone accepts newly hot chick back into the dog circle.

The End.

3 out of 5 helmet stickers for gratuitous nudity at Hotel For Foxes, which I forgot to mention is a nudist hotel.





Alright I think that qualifies as enough effort for the day.

424 comments:

1 – 200 of 424   Newer›   Newest»
El Padrino said...

your a warrior tem

tem said...

yeah, i am the best.

blue said...

tem is the kobe of LoV

except for the raping chicks in the ass part

El Padrino said...

great now bron bron gonna try and get more than kobe

blue said...

santonio holmes with the bron bron impression was lame

blue said...

stupid people from OH IO

El Padrino said...

and he called the trophy, "Dicky Lombardi"

some edumecation they get at the ohio state

tem said...

san antonio never went to class.

he was too busy knocking chicks up.

tem said...

"except for the raping chicks in the ass part"

right, can't rape the willing.

blue said...

and selling weed

and getting arrested in Miami

El Padrino said...

is he the most criminal super bowl MVP?

El Padrino said...

did ray ray win mvp that year he was coming off that double murder case?

El Padrino said...

murder was the case that they gave me

fantastic snoop right there

tem said...

yes ray won that year.

tem said...

he got obstruction of justice or something instead of murder.

good trade on his part.

tem said...

dicky lombardi is just terrible.

how the fuck do you not know it is vince?

blue said...

i thought it was a few years later for ray ray, but i'm probably mistaken.

i'm not a mind reader

blue said...

oh, nerve mind, rif, yeah he was MVP, i was thinking superbowl champion...

RIF, i'm not a mind reader

tem said...

you sir are no scientist.

El Padrino said...

tem, it's wurst when the ladies text message

real ttext from sister in law just now:

Put on z100 b4 itz 2 late, gr8 song!!!!!!!!

tem said...

yeah texting is definitely worse.

tem said...

*wurse

El Padrino said...

and what's really wurse is i put on z100 and the song is not gr8

blue said...

i don't even know what gr8 is

blue said...

i've never used an exclamation point

tem said...

never?

tem said...

"and what's really wurse is i put on z100 and the song is not gr8"

all songz n NYC R gr8.

blue said...

nerve

El Padrino said...

gr8 = great

tem said...

i've never had white castle.

blue said...

i've never had Fat Burger

El Padrino said...

Fat Burger not bad, prolly one of the better one's in NJ although i keep hearing about 5 guys

this is all circle of lov btw but what isnt nowadays

blue said...

'2 in the mornin got a fat burger'

Keith S said...

"i've never had white castle."

NFW

tem said...

i've never had a fat burger either.

not sure i've ever seen one.

Keith S said...

Santonio isn't from OH IO

tem said...

re: white castle.

it's true.

blue said...

i had white castle that i bought at the grocery store

blue said...

"Santonio isn't from OH IO"

he went to skool there = he's from there.

Keith S said...

"it's true."

Tem, get fake drnuk tonight and go get some White Castle

tem said...

now that i am this damn old and never had it, i minus well not ever have it.

at least that will be 1 thing interesting about myself i can say at parties.

Keith S said...

"at least that will be 1 thing interesting about myself i can say at parties."

temgagement is more interesting than not having white castle

blue said...

that's really not that interesting

Meiz said...

I just has a nas-tay dump

tem said...

then i have 2 things.

blue said...

telling a chick "i've never had white castle before" is not going to get you laid

Meiz said...

UW-GB beat Butler last night

tem said...

"at's really not that interesting"

which? temgagement or white castle?

tem said...

"telling a chick "i've never had white castle before" is not going to get you laid"

maybe it will blow the mind of a fat chick.

Meiz said...

"now that i am this damn old and never had it, i minus well not ever have it."


Tem's gotta be like 38 these days, right?

Keith S said...

"UW-GB beat Butler last night"

Here's me not giving a fuck

tem said...

still 31, but 38 is fine, it doesn't matter.

blue said...

"maybe it will blow the mind of a fat chick."

or maybe it will give you something in common with a slim chick, and then you can get married according to steve, because you have something in common, and then you can get a dog that you carry on the plane

Meiz said...

"Here's me not giving a fuck"


Sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mondays


on a Tuesday

Keith S said...

"Sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mondays"

Nah, just being an as.

blue said...

so?

blue said...

if bonaroo wasn't in tennessee i'd go

Keith S said...

what if it was in Kentucky

tem said...

"or maybe it will give you something in common with a slim chick, and then you can get married according to steve, because you have something in common, and then you can get a dog that you carry on the plane"

then i think it will be an interesting story to keep.

blue said...

"what if it was in Kentucky"

at least i could get some KFC

garunner26 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Keith S said...

can't believe the Beastie Boys are still performing

Keith S said...

"Who would have guessed that Tem would type that phrase and it would have zero to do with a woman discovering bisexuality or lesbianism for the first time."

Who would have guessed that Beth made tem's comment to be about bisexuality or lesbianism

tem said...

i would have guessed both those things.

Meiz said...

"if bonaroo wasn't in tennessee i'd go"


Word'em up

tem said...

and who knows, maybe i would have been wrong on both.

Meiz said...

Now I have beth's gmail address. Suite.

tem said...

the colonel is dead.

tem said...

*can't believe the Beastie Boys are still alive

Keith S said...

garunner26 is pretty active on theeroticreview.org

Meiz said...

Damn. The crappy adult contemporary station is back.

tem said...

keef must be bored.

Keith S said...

"keef must be bored."

Must be

blue said...

i read that as "gay runner 26" and thought, how does fmbeth not know about her woman love

tem said...

blue can't read well.

blue said...

hey, if the shoe fits

tem said...

then it might be yours.

blue said...

when in rome

JFreak said...

temgagement

blue said...

"then it might be yours."

or you could be cinderella

El Padrino said...

i'm gettin kobe'd by tps, dude just hit another hangtime runner in the lane

Keith S said...

I used to watch Hang Time on Saturday mornings

blue said...

tps is putting it in EP's ass

tem said...

"temgagement"

nice

Keith S said...

Audio of Christian Bale going off on the Terminator set is hilarity

tem said...

I used to watch Saved By the Bell on Saturday mornings, I am too old to have watched Hang Time.

tem said...

"Audio of Christian Bale going off on the Terminator set is hilarity"


::frank stare::

Keith S said...

"I am too old to have watched Hang Time."

We're the same age

Keith S said...

"::frank stare::"

I'll link it, but watch out because "fuck" is used about 100 times in 4 minutes

blue said...

"We're the same age"

exactly

Keith S said...

Bale going apeshit

tem said...

that's a lot of fuck.

tem said...

bale is cool.

tem said...

what's a "DP"?

Keith S said...

Eric Bell made about $100,000 a year in middle management. He was pink-slipped last May, and he's yet to find a full-time job. He now gets a weekly unemployment check for $216. He sees it all as a new challenge. "You can't sit in front of the computer all day and go: 'Woe is me,' " he said.


He should talk to mize

tem said...

woe is eric.

Keith S said...

retard

blue said...

eric needs to get off his lazy ass and go to work at the UPS store, they pay more than 216/week

blue said...

that's less than minimum wage

Keith S said...

what the hell is minimum wage these days?

Meiz said...

Grandma's husband. Dead.

blue said...

Even Citigroup doesn't want to be involved with the Mets

blue said...

"what the hell is minimum wage these days?"

i don't know, but i think it's more than $5.40/hour

tem said...

"He said he'd been drinking with his brother and didn't know how he got on to the roof, didn't know how he got in the chimney."


awesome

tem said...

"Grandma's husband. Dead."

condolences.

Meiz said...

"what the hell is minimum wage these days?"


$6.55



Goddamn that's low.

Meiz said...

"condolences."


Not really. Nobody really liked him. He was a jackass.

Keith S said...

"Not really. Nobody really liked him. He was a jackass."

Congratulations

El Padrino said...

"Update, 10:23 am:

According to a report on CNBC, the Mets say Citigroup has contacted them and will continue to honor their current marketing and naming rights agreement, contrary to the Wall Street Journal report from below."



false blue

Keith S said...

Are the Mess gonna let Johan pitch in the WBC?

Keith S said...

If so, I probably won't keep him

blue said...

"Citigroup has contacted them and will continue to honor their current marketing and naming rights agreement, contrary to the Wall Street Journal report from below.""

until congress tells them not to

tem said...

haha thanks obama

blue said...

i don't see that as "lavish spending" though, that's marketing and marketing can be expensive. I've got no qualms with it.

JFreak said...

"what's a "DP"?"

Director of Photography.

Basically the head cameraman.

tem said...

"Director of Photography.

Basically the head cameraman."

thanks.

Meiz said...

"what's a "DP"?"



Double penetration.

Keith S said...

atta kid

blue said...

like anal?

El Padrino said...

"Are the Mess gonna let Johan pitch in the WBC?"

so far no

spaceman spiff said...

"Grandma's husband. Dead."

use this on exfmmeiz, no idea how, he can be your 'dead fake step granddad'. try to get some pity sex

spaceman spiff said...

CA min wage is 8$

tem said...

HUNGRY

El Padrino said...

I dont see the crime here

blue said...

they didn't show what the chicks looked like

blue said...

if chicks gotta rape a dude, they can't be very attractive

spaceman spiff said...

EP tomorrow your name and pic will be: WE GOT HELP NOW

El Padrino said...

ok spiff

El Padrino said...

why does bud selig make 17MM?

a fucking year

blue said...

gr8 pic

blue said...

bud has an expense account of $400K to.

El Padrino said...

I got zeke in the death pool

Keith S said...

"WE GOT HELP NOW"

Nice work

El Padrino said...

"18 Inches Of Snow May Clobber Parts Of Indiana... Developing..."


good luck freak

El Padrino said...

it's sno-ing here write now

Meiz said...

Fuck snow.

blue said...

it's gonna be 60° today here

Meiz said...

Fuck Colorado

El Padrino said...

Colo is weird

El Padrino said...

but then again it was 51 here yesterday

JFreak said...

"18 Inches Of Snow May Clobber Parts Of Indiana... Developing..."

Not anywhere near me.

tem said...

ib.

Meiz said...

How insufferable would these assholes be?

tem said...

very

El Padrino said...

shut up

tem said...

keith new name and pic on my blog

tem said...

el pad is mad about the prospect of mixing his NYC blood with H and his boston blood.

spaceman spiff said...

jennifer hudson lip synched the anthem. doesnt this fuck with the over/under time bet? if someone heard the recording they could have bet the house on the over

tem said...

"jennifer hudson lip synched the anthem. "

really? that super surprises me.

they don't usually do that for the super bowl.

Meiz said...

They should just have some schmuck from the crowd sing the anthem at games.

Meiz said...

lunch wall

Meiz said...

I hope that funeral is on friday or saturday

tem said...

why do you hope that?

El Padrino said...

"if someone heard the recording they could have bet the house on the over"

i guess so, it was vs a pre-recorded track

mtv story on it

Keith S said...

80° here today

tem said...

15 to 20 here.

JFreak said...

"why do you hope that?"

He would get friday off.

Penn is a little bitch said...

"jennifer hudson lip synched the anthem. "


She probably gets a free pass on this, right?

tem said...

he could just say it was friday and get that day off.

Penn is a little bitch said...

"He would get friday off."


If he doesn't get medical benefits, no way he gets bereavement

El Padrino said...

gaithner hsould have done this too

tem said...

yeah he will just get the day off and not get paid.

tem said...

plus i am not sure if bereavement works for your step grandpa.

tem said...

cnn.com has an article about how BJ might just quit MMA altogether now.

nfw that happens.

Penn is a little bitch said...

"plus i am not sure if bereavement works for your step grandpa."

He doesn't have to say it's a step

Penn is a little bitch said...

Penn is alright when he stays at his weight. He just shouldn't think he can move up 15 lbs and compete

El Padrino said...

obama not living up to the hype keef deal with it

El Padrino said...

ufc is whack

El Padrino said...

*cue your face is whack

tem said...

i'm going to miss beth.

El Padrino said...

lots of hilarity in this drunk pilot story

tem said...

obama is the best evar.

Penn is a little bitch said...

"obama not living up to the hype keef deal with it"

The funny part is that yous guys say that we called out Bush on everything. But there's been 100000% more conversations about how horrible Obama is than there ever was about Bush.

El Padrino said...

where's beff going?

tem said...

"He doesn't have to say it's a step"

true.

tem said...

"100000% "

that's a lot.

Penn is a little bitch said...

"i'm going to miss beth."

tem is slowly walking away

Penn is a little bitch said...

efmtem said it's either LoV or her, and tem is cutting his ties

El Padrino said...

hialrious artie lange piece

El Padrino said...

“A couple years ago at the Super Bowl in Vegas, my ex-girlfriend Dana wanted to put in a real live bet, in Vegas, with her mother,” he says in one bit. “Twenty minutes before the game, I take the Eastern European hooker off my cock, tell her to keep clapping her hands so she doesn’t steal anything, and call Dana up. She goes ‘OK, we want $50 on the under. What do you have??’ Very calmly I say, ‘I have $50,000 on the over. Good luck to you and your mother.’”



hahahahahhahahahahaha

keep clapping

ahahahhaaaaa

Meiz said...

"He would get friday off."


No. If its on Fri or Sat, I won't have to go.

El Padrino said...

“All that Vicodin is bad for your liver,” he told Lange. “Take heroin, man. It’s better for your liver.”


great call

Penn is a little bitch said...

Which 3 guys should I keep?

Wright/Braun - Can only keep 1
Santana
Kazmir
F. Liriano
J. Hamilton

El Padrino said...

No one’s allowed to wear a seat belt. “I don’t play that shit!,” he says. “That’s un-American.”

YEAH!

blue said...

the superbowl anthem is always pre-recorded. (at least ever since whitney houston) that way it can be released as a single, and also because it prevents some fuck ups and mistakes.


live television with 175M viewers. i should hope so

Meiz said...

You can only keep 1 between Braun & Wright?

Penn is a little bitch said...

You should hope so

Penn is a little bitch said...

"You can only keep 1 between Braun & Wright?"

Yeah. We can only keep 1 guy that we kept from the previous year. I kept them both last year.

blue said...

i should

blue said...

why does keith have a picture of tem with a bloody nose?

Penn is a little bitch said...

tem's picture was taken after exfemtem left his house when he announced the temgagement

Penn is a little bitch said...

Damn, I'm not even this bad

tem said...

"efmtem said it's either LoV or her, and tem is cutting his ties"

what?

spaceman spiff said...

""jennifer hudson lip synched the anthem. "


She probably gets a free pass on this, right?"

i was just wondering about the betting implications, and if its always pre-recorded like blue said, there some peeps out there with insider info that are making sizable but not suspicious bets every year and cashing in

Penn is a little bitch said...

The 350,000-member Facebook group “I Judge You When You Use Poor Grammar” encourages its members to “seek out the infidels (grammar offenders) and … document their acts of terror. Take pictures and post them in this group to serve as examples to all.”


Unreal

Penn is a little bitch said...

"what?"


So?

tem said...

lots of room for cheaters there.

tem said...

i wish i could hack that facebook group and then let steve rewrite all their posts.

Penn is a little bitch said...

"i was just wondering about the betting implications, and if its always pre-recorded like blue said, there some peeps out there with insider info that are making sizable but not suspicious bets every year and cashing in"


It's all fized*

Penn is a little bitch said...

bolder

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