El Pad's 2009 NFL Preview

[For convienence, a link to the comments.]

Footyball is here, rejoice.

AFC East

Patriots : “18-1”
18-1 feels so good. Still on cloud nine. And I’m allowed to be. Moving on.
For a team that won 18 straight games en route to a near perfect season you’d think there’d be little doubt that they can remain a dominant team this year. But some pundits think otherwise. Super bowl losses hurt. Will Moss behave in year 2? Did they fix the secondary? Don’t be ridiculous cousin Larry. They still have the best QB/WR tandem in the league (puke) and still have that whole team above you, us against the world and whatnot going on. Surprised it’s still working actually. I can’t see them losing more than 3 games this year. Especially since they open up against the Chiefs, Jets and Dolphins. Then a bye, then to Brady’s hometown in San Fran. That’s 4-0 right there. I got a loss to SD in week 6, a loss at Indy week 8 and I’ll throw a shock loss in there for good measure, maybe at Buffalo last game of the year when they won’t be perfect so they’ll rest some guys for a run at the Show. Plus they cheat. So there’s that.

Impact Rookie : Terrence Wheatly, CB. They have a ton of CB’s on the roster so why him? He’s smart. You never have to be physically gifted on this team, just be in the position the coaches tell you too and you’ll have success.
Record : 13-3 (AFC East Champ)

Bills: “Not Selling Me on Trent”
What is it with this team? I feel like they haven’t gotten their shit together since like the Jim Kelly days. They are going with Edwards this year for good, over Losman. Me personally I think Losman is the better talent but maybe he is dumb. Because the new OC in Buffalo is promising more flexibility for the QB. Edwards will be able to call audibles when he sees something called about to get blown up. Makes sense since Edwards is a Stanford grad while Losman went to Tulane. The defense, I think is fine, they fly to the ball and they hit hard. This team led football games late into the 3rd quarter many times but never executed on the offensive side of the ball to put teams away. This year they finish those games and shock a couple of teams.

Impact Rookie: James Hardy, who to me, looks like a NFL WR for years to come.
Record : 9-7

Jets : “Farve’s here, yawn”
Well, if you haven’t heard. Farve was traded to the Jets. Does this immediately make them better then 4-12? In short yes. How much better? Well, luckily for you I have that answer. Their schedule is favorable to a degree but I don’t think they have the horses Brett needs to slide into the playoffs. As far as Farve goes:

1.Farve/Mangini marriage would be similar to a marriage between Tommy Lee and a Amish woman.
2.No chemistry. He knew not one person on that Jet roster other than some WR that might not make the team.
3.Then there’s the NY media vs Green Bay media. Guess which one is the better at harassing/lying/mixing words?

Impact Rookie : Dustin Keller, TE. Going to be Farve’s 1st down target. I just know it.
Record : 8-8

Miami Dolphins: “Noodle Arm”
So I’m supposed to believe because Chad Pennington wins man of the year awards and carries around a 70% career completion percentage that this is going to make this team THAT much better. I’ll give him 2 wins. That’ll put them at 6-10. Tops. This team will be a player in this division in two years.

Impact Rookie : Obviously Jake Long, but don’t sleep on Davone Bess getting some play somewhere on the field. He was a terrific athelete at U of H and catches everything.
Record : 6-10

AFC North

Pittsburgh Steelers : “Easy Division Crown”
They still can’t stop the run, unless Lawrence Timmons wakes up and realizes he needs to tackle the running back not hug them for 4 yards. Big Ben put up some gaudy numbers last year and I can’t see that changing much with all that offensive talent. In a weak division they roll to the title…..early. Achilles heal is the d-line which will end up hurting them come January.

Impact Rookie : Rashard Mendenhall spells Fast Willie Parker nicely.
Record : 11-5 (AFC North Division winner)

Baltimore Ravens : “Ugly Betties”
I think the defense has way too much pride to allow themselves to lose games the way they did a year ago. This team is going to bounce back in a big way and the coaching world is going to slobber all over Harbaugh when in reality it’ll be the big names on defense that will get them to 9 wins. And I don’t care who the QB is. A lot of ugly wins but last I checked those wins counted.

Impact Rookie : No doubt Ray Rice, can really alleviate the workload of the oft nicked up Willis McGahee.
Record : 9-7

Cincinnati Bengals : “Henry arrested”
This team strikes me as madly inconsistent and I don’t like the coach. He sucks. If their O-line wasn’t so damn good I’d have them at 4 wins but (cliché alert) “since the game is won in the trenches” I have to be smart about it and at least bump up that win total. The linebackers are terrible as the rookie Keith Rivers (Rookie USC) immediately becomes their best LB and the secondary still sucks goat nuts. This team goes nowhere.

Impact Rookie : Aforementioned Rivers.
Record : 7-9 (Marvin Lewis fired)

Cleveland Browns : “Brutal Schedule”
I am not buying into the Browns this year. If I were on PTI I would sell. The secondary is young and inexperienced. Can QB Derek Anderson duplicate last year’s solid play? If Jamal Lewis goes down I can’t say that I like the option behind him. Also, The NFL has scheduled Cleveland for five prime time games, including three contests on Monday night. Browns will crash on pressure boulevard.

Impact Rookie : Derrick Morse, OG . Big dude should see significant playing time on that line.
Record : 5-11

AFC South

Indianapolis Colts : “Belle of the South”
Polian has seemed to put together one of his best rosters in years. Manning is fine. You know it and I know it. This team is 21-0 the past three seasons in September and October. If only those 2 months were December and January. Believe the hype about the noise factor in the move to Lucas Field. It will come back to bite them in the playoffs. Outside of that ho-hum ho hum they’ll be 13-3 as usual.

Impact Rookie : Mike Pollack, OG. He’ll slide right in to an already great o line.
Rookie : 13-3 (AFC South Division winner)

Jacksonville Jaguars: “Brunell sheds a tear”
David Garrard really took advantage of Del Rio’s trust and guided Jax to nice season. I get the feeling this is a team no one wants to play, especially when something is on the line. This and that barking defense (Gregg Willams is a solid DC) is the reason why the Jaguars are my pick to reach AND WIN the Super Bowl. That’s right. The Jacksonville Jaguars capture their first championship on Garrard’s leadership, wicked defense and strong special teams. Nobody runs the ball on this team and how could they? With Big John Henderson and Paul Spicer clogging holes it makes tackling RB’s as easy as a Friday night with Beth and some Bicardi Breezers.

Impact Rookie : Not much to choose from with the holdout of Harvey (update WED, Harvey signed) so I’ll go with Quinten Groves, DE Auburn. He’ll need to cut his teeth on 3rd down situations.
Record : 12-4

Tennessee Titans : “Don’t throw picks”
Titans were a top 5 defensive unit last year and I don’t see that changing this year.
The only thing Vince Young needs to do is manage the game. They’ll pound the run and play good defense, similar to a Bill Parcells team. Also The Freak is back. AFC South has 3 really good football teams. Tough division to play this year. Even Houston is decent.

Impact Rookie : Easily Chris Johnson, dude’s electric.
Record : 11-5

Houston Texans : “Best of the last”
Year 3 of Kubiak. Slight buzz around the nfl water coolers that this team could have a breakout year. I’m not buying into it, totally….Some key injuries plagued them last year, an 8-8 campaign, and none worse then Schaub who Houston acquired a year earlier from Atlanta. If he can stay healthy, I think they have a nice shot at sniffing important games in December. They’ll end up at 8-8 again but will be playing the Jags and Titans in December with a winning record. They will lose those games but you have to start somewhere right? Might be the best last place team in football.

Impact Rookie : Maybe Steve Slaton. I don’t know if he’s motivated enough. I can see Antwaun Molden getting some play at corner. Especially with Dunta down and out.
Record : 8-8

AFC WEST

San Diego Chargers : “Cakewalk”
AFC version of the Patriots. Absolute cakewalk of a division. Merriman is opting to play, Chargers brass will be holding their breath every snap hoping he doesn’t ruin his career. If I weren’t high on the Jags and if Norv Turner wasn’t such a pushover I’d pick them to win the Super Bowl.

Impact Rookie : Not sure here but Jacob Hester runs hard. He might get some play.
Record : 12-4 (AFC West Champions)

Denver Broncos : “4 RB’s”
Champ Bailey has been worth the money. Dude has 24 INT’s since 2004, the most in the league in that span. Too bad he can’t play WR. Cutler has one weapon and that one weapon sometimes is a knucklehead. This division is awful though so the Broncos got that going for them. Last year was a rough one for Coach Shanahan, his first losing season in his tenure. They barely get over the an even record this year. Not enough talent on this roster.

Impact Rookie : Easily Ryan Clady, starting tackle for the next 10 years.
Record : 9-7

Oakland Raiders : “JaMarcus’s Team Now”
Jamarcus Russel gets his full year. Let’s see what he’s about. He’ll get tested early with 3 divisional games in September with a trip cross country to Buffalo in between. If this team gets more then 5 wins it will be a success (fucking John Clayton is nuts, talking about being 6-6 or 7-5 in December, wft?).

Impact Rookie : Darren McFadden, uh duh.
Record : 5-11

Kansas City Cheifs : “At least their draft was good”
Herm gets one more year after this 2-14 debacle. Peterson knows though, he helped blow this thing up for the sake of a strong 2009 team. This year will be Brodie Croyle’s chance to show the Cheifs he’s their guy.

Impact Rookie : Glenn Dorsey, Jamaal Charles, Brandon Albert….lots of young cornerstones.
Record : 2-14

NFC EAST

Dallas Cowboys : “Jessica Simpson is impeding your progress Tony”
They had 13 pro-bowlers last season and they are all back this season. What can I say the team is loaded. I wouldn’t hand them the NFC Championship here in this column but I obsiously wouldn’t be shocked if they got there. I’ll tell you what. If they fail to win playoff game, again, with that talent…..I don’t know what Jerry Jones would do but I’m openly rooting for that to happen. And when it’s all about the postseason, the pressure gets so big sometimes it defeats you before the whistle blows.

Impact Rookie : He’s electric. Boogie oogie oogie. Felix Jones.
Record : 13-3 (NFC EAST CHAMPION)

Giants : “This one’s for you Osi”
But serious how do you question a team that did what they did last year? Your going to believe Donovan McNabb? They have 8 tough games on the schedule which means they have 8 very winnable games on that same schedule. Now, since the Giants have a penchant for beating very good teams and losing to subpar teams I’ll let the Cowboys win the division by a 3 spot. This year the Giants will most likely bow out of the playoffs during the divisional round. And I’m totally ok with this. For two reasons, one they are the defending champs which was achieved in a unbelievable type way, and two I’ll win my bet with Keef.

Impact Rookie : Wallace Gilberry, with the loss of OSI, the depth is going to be used a lot more then planned and Wallace is an intriguing prospect at DE.
Record : 10-6

Philadelphia Eagles “Cuz McNabb said so”
Isn’t this like the 3rd year McNabb is popping off shit like “everybody better watch out for us”. Remember in Scarface, when Tony comes back from his meeting with Sosa sans Omar and Frank Lopez says to him “You want to me to believe that Omar was a stoolie cuz SOSA SAID SO!”. The similarity is I’m supposed to believe the Eagles are going to win the division because McNabb said so? Now I’m not saying they aren’t a threat to sneak into the playoffs at 9-7, I’m just saying they ain’t winning this division. Especially with the questions surrounding that offensive line and McNabb’s mobility.

Impact Rookie : DeSean Jackson, WR should help out in the return game early and often.
Record : 9-7

Washington Redskins : “The division is just one step ahead”
Redskins are a good football team. And in more cases then none they are always the best 8-8 team in the league. This year with all the offensive changes coupled with the fact that Campbell is still a bit young and raw I don’t see the Skins competing to win the division. They might be in the playoff hunt in the latter part of November but the Jim Zorn changes I don’t think will yield results until next year.

Impact Rookie : Fred Davis, USC. Injuries to Devin Thomas and Malcolm Kelly may have stunted their growth. Fred Davis is a big target who can catch just about anything in his zip code.
Record : 7-9

NFC North

Green Bay Packers : “Long wait in the Green Room now this”
Talk about resilient. Rodgers has been threw some shit man. Honestly I didn’t know who to pick in this division. But in the end the Pack return most of last years starters from a very good team. The Vikings are strong and everyone else’s pick to win the division but at this stage of the game Aaron Rodgers >>>> Tavarias Jackson.

Impact Rookie : No rookies on this team will make an impact, closest one I can see via injury would be Brian Brohm, QB.
Record : 10-6

Minnesota Vikings : “Year 2 of All Day”
All day might win the MVP. For real. And the defense is stifling. But Tavarias Jackson has some major defenses to go up against this year as the NFC North plays the NFC South. Either way they end up going in the right direction for 2009.

Impact Rookie : Will John David Booty get some run this year?
Record : 9-7

Bears : “Orton’s town now”
I changed my mind on this team several times. I had them winning the division, I had them being 3-13. And now I’ll just put them at 8-8. Safe. I’m a pussy. See the defense and special teams is sick but you want me to believe Kyle Orton is the answer? With no threat at WR and a rookie running back? Dude. Cmon.

Impact Rookie : Matt Forte.
Record : 8-8

Detroit Lions “No preview needed”
www.FireMattMillen.com

Impact Rookie : Kevin Smith, straight burner.
Record : 6-10

NFC South

New Orleans Saints : “Decent, just be decent”
O is loaded son. Straight butter as Talent would say. If the defense can be decent this team will end up in Tampa playing the Jags. Sean Payton was masturbating on the playbook when they traded for Shockey. That fool (owner) is going to be dancing on the 50 yard line with that silly umbrella this year. Hopefully Deuce can recover from the his 2nd or 3rd knee surgery to help Mr. Khardashian. Check out their schedule, it’s pretty easy.

Impact Rookie : Robert Meachem, WR. Take advantage of Brees son. He throws strikes.
Record : 13-3 (NFC South division winner)

Carolina Panthers : “They’re bbbaaaaaaaackkkk”
Hey it’s the Saints party but the Panthers get in as a wild card after sitting the past couple of years out. Delhomme will manage every game like it’s his last cuz it might be and they have some solid running backs. Peppers, yes Julius, will rebound from his awful 2007 campaign and tally 14 sacks. They open up @ San Diego but after that only face 2 teams that I can see causing them a problem until a BYE week. After that they get Oak and Det so they should be straight come Thanksgiving for a playoff run.

Impact Rookie : Jonathan Stewart, RB…big and fast. TWSS
Record : 11-5

Tampa Bay Buccaneers : “Back to back winning seasons? Nonsense”
He never goes back to back. And they are old. Old = injuries. They’ll be in some games, won’t be blown out often but I can’t see this team winning more than 6 games.
Impact Rookie : Aqib Talib, CB and learning from Ronde isn’t bad.
Record : 6-10

Atlanta Falcons : "Vick gets out soon?"
Man what a bad year but shit could you have blamed anyone for mailing it in week 1 after what happened with Vick. They hired some guy named, some assistant who apparentely is a disciplanarian. Not sure this is going to work but they had a nice draft and have some decent fans which is saying much for a professional team in Atlanta. Baby steps people. Michael Turner, prove your not a 2nd string guy.

Impact Rookie : "The Franchise", Matt Ryan, QB.
Record : 4-12

NFC WEST

Seattle Seahawks : “If the Pats were in this division they’d win with Cassel”
Jesus this division gets worse every year. Hasselback and company can with this thing with Mo Morris RB, Curly Lambeau WR and a flabby Larry Holmes at QB if they needed to. The defense just needs to coast until January to go far.

Impact Rookie : John Carlson who unlike Jerramy Stevens will catch every ball instead of every other ball.
Record : 12-4

St. Louis Rams : “Gateway to the suck”
At least 8-8 isn’t 3-13. A team can’t have more injuries than the 2007 Rams did so you have to expect a bounceback. I hate the week 2 pre-season injuries though. I still don’t think they’ll be that bad, SJAX can carry them in some games I am sure of that.

Impact Rookie : Chris Long, obviously.
Record : 8-8

San Francisco 49ERS : “J.T., really, you’re an adult now, please choose a first name”
Poor Alex Smith. He lost his job to a 12 year old boy named J.T. Don’t diss J.T though, despite the name I think Mike Nolan is right. This kid can ball. The defense is legit so if JT can put up 14-20 points a game I think they get some wins. Problem is the schedule is rough. Mike Martz will help.

Impact Rookie : Hard to pick one here so I’ll give you a no one and hope to hit gold. WR Cam Colvin, kid from Oregon.
Record : 7-9

Arizona Cardinals : “Everyone is picking them second, again”
Fuck the Cardinals. They are always a beacon of disappointment. Boldin is causing a stink, Edge sucks, Whizzanator seems over his head at times, and Warner is one shot away from being paralyzed. His backup is supposedly the QB of the future but can’t hold the job down and his team hates them. None of this is conducive to winning football games. Especially when your playing the NFC EAST this year.

Impact Rookie : Tim Hightower, already surpassing the disappointing JJ Arrington.
Record : 5-11



AFC playoff teams:
Pats, Steelers, Colts, Chargers
Wild Card teams : Jags, Titans

Jags over Steelers 31-17
Garrard, 17-24 181 yards, 2 TD’s, 1INT
Jones-Drew 156 all purpose yards, 2 TD’s

Titans over Chargers 17-14
Ron Bironas 48 yarder at the gun
Vince Young 8-15, 156 yards, 2 Rush TD’s (0) turnovers!!!!

Jags over Colts 28-24
Garrard 14-20, 148 yards 1PATD, 1 Rush TD
Jones-Drew 18 carries for 131 yards, 1 punt return TD
Fred Taylor 16 carries for 97 yards, 1 TD

Pats over Titans 20-10
Wes Welker, 12 catches 144 yards
Brady 25-40, 259 yards 2 TD’s
Vince Young 11-24, 99 yards 2 INT’s

Jags over Pats 27-20
Garrard 29-39, 291 yards 2 TD’s
Brady 34-56, 341 yards 1 TD
Mike Peterson, 12 yard INT return

JAGS AFC Champions!


NFC Playoff Teams:
Cowboys, Packers, Saints, Seahawks
Wild Card teams : Giants, Panthers

Giants over Seahawks (payback from 06) 24-17
Manning 17-29, 201 yards 1 TD
Jacobs/Bradshaw combine for 197 yards, 1 TD
Aaron Ross, 58 yard INT return

Panthers over Packers 18-14
Julius Peppers 31 Yard Fumble Recovery, TD
Delhomme 17-21, 205 yards 1 TD
Rodgers, 25-39, 254 yards 1 TD, 1 INT

Saints over Giants 24-20
Brees 24-31, 255 yards 2 TD’s, 1 INT
Manning 22-37 233 yards 1 TD, 1 INT
Jacobs 21 carries 122 yards, 1 TD, 1 lost fumble
Shockey, DNP broken toe (week 12)

Cowboys over Panthers 35-14
Romo 25-35 355 yards, 3 TD’s
Marion Barber 15 carries 111 yards 1 TD
Jake Delhomme, sacked 8 times, 2 lost fumbles
(left game early 4th quarter, broken hand)

Saints over Cowboys 38-27
Brees 29-41 404 yards 4 TD’s, 1 INT
Romo 22-40 301 yards 2 TD’s, 2 INT’s
Shockey returns in action, 4 catches 31 yards
Colston 8 catches 144 yards, 1 TD

Saints NFC CHAMPIONS!!!!

SUPER BOWL
Tampa Bay, Florida

JAGS OVER SAINTS, 31-21
Garrard 19-24 204 yards, 6 rushes for 59 yards 2 PATD’s (MVP)
Jones-Drew, opening kickoff 99 yards for a TD
Fred Taylor 13 carries 121 yards, 2 TD’s
Brees 29-44 321 yards 2 TD’s, 1 INT, 1 lost fumble
Bush 12 carries, 159 yards, TD, 1 lost fumble

JAGS ARE THE CHAMPS!

Sufferin' succotash

It's Lou Holtz season!

Which in turn means that it's college football season.

And you know what that means. Pac-10 poon will be back!

Everyone should take a few minutes today and thank Lou Holtz for bringing back p10poon.

Alright, I'm gonna try something new. I'm gonna pick the team in the top 25 that I think has the best shot of choking on their ranking. I'll probably be too lazy to continue to do this, but oh well. Since it's not really an upset if both teams are ranked, I won't consider those games.

There aren't a lot of appealing choices this week. Cupcakes run rampant early in the season. The most likely to choke this week is Pittsburgh. Somehow Pitt is ranked even though they didn't qualify for a bowl last year. I know the wa-va win was a good showing for them, but it wasn't that good. They've still got Dave Wannstedt as their coach. And, well...he's just awful. I give this choke a 45% chance of happening.

Cubs magic number for a playoff spot is 20...24 for the division. Just keeping you updated. Angels are at 15. Seattle's is 58 for the wild card, they can't win their division.

Ante Up - M.O.P.


I can't remember if I linked this or not, but who cares?


Hi Bill.

Practice?

I'm in a bad mood this morning.

Dude, Duckworth gained some weight before he died. Compare it to the pic in this story and you'll see what I'm talkin' aboot.

I personally loved that 1992 Blazers team and wanted them to win against the Bulls. You look at those teams side-by-side, and you have to figure that the Blazers would wreck Chicago, I mean, the Bulls were starting Bill freakin' Cartwright for cryin' outloud. I think it came down to coaching, and Philip Douglas Jackson >>>>>>>>> Richard Leonard Adelman. I'm going to a BBQ tonight, so I will pour out some beer for Duckworth.

In that fucked up league I'm in, now that dude's homeboys have chimed in. Fuck that league. I made eight transactions this morning. EIGHT. And the season hasn't even started yet. Even though I have LDT in a league, I hope he has a double ACL tear because I picked up Darren Sproles for the return yards. Yeah, Darren Sproles is like my third or fourth RB. Fuck that league.

So, I was driving home yesterday, and they were talking about the Dodgers on sports radio and some people were saying that they need to fire Joe Torre. Yeah, I don't think Joe Torre is the problem. How about all of the fucked up signings they've made? And I don't want to get Spiff all riled up, but if Furcal hadn't have gotten injured, we wouldn't even be having this convo. Plus, the bullpen is a mess. They've been at .500 all season, and with the players they've got, this far into the season, that's what they are. I really think they need to sign Manny and if they can get a healthy Furcal back, ride out or get some sucker to take some of their bad contracts maybe they'll have a chance in a horrible NL West. They better resign Furcal, I've got a jersey hanging in my closet and I really don't want to end up on StraightCashHomie.net next year when I go to a game.

That's all I've got, I'm late for work.

Again

So I did it again, I forgot to put deodorant on this morning. Seriously I need to just get a stick and put it in my desk at work. Good thing I don't sweat a lot. I mean, I'll basically just sit at my desk all day and work in the air conditioning so sweating doesn't usually happen. In the end though, I am a moron for forgetting deodorant as often as I do.

In a complete change of subject I was wondering what the heck is going on with "Adult" music. Adult music is lame, it is dumb, nobody likes it. Usually sticking "adult" in front of stuff makes it cool. Adult Book Stores, Adult Movies, Adult Clubs, Adult Beverages, etc. But you stick adult in front of music and it sucks. What gives?? I think Congress should do something about this.

T-Minus a few days until College Football starts. I am super excited. By the by the Ohio State football team practiced at my College's field the other day. Our swim coach gave them a pep talk. I can't imagine that one Buckeye enjoyed the trip. On the other hand Tressel talked to our football team. I can't imagine one Lord (that's the nickname of the school I went to) did not enjoy listening to Tressel. What a shitty trade for the OSU players. I should note that our swim teams have won like 27 or the last 28 national titles, so at least they know how to seal the deal...in swimming....at Division III.

That's enough, let's just get to what you want to read:

tem movie review:

Mirrors

This movie is about the mirrors in those Sony TVs or whatever brand has the mirrors. By the by it is pronounced "meers." Anyway, the meers in the Sony TVs go berserk and start showing people channels that they don't want to watch and they start distorting all the images. Everyone is up in arms about this except the people who were watching Adult Movies, they actually enjoyed the meers shenanigans. So the rebellious meers are messing up TV and humanity has to figure out what to do. So they call Will Smith because he is awesome in situations like this. But Will is busy filming a new movie so they figure what the hell, let's call Jazzy Jeff. So Jazzy comes up with an elaborate plan to defeat the meers. He puts it into action and hilarity ensues. The meers finally get Uncle Phil to throw Jazzy out the front door. But then Will is done with his movie and he returns and all hell breaks lose. He is busting up meers left and right and just doing his thing. Finally he figures out that meers are just pissed that ugly people keep standing in front of them. It turns out meers hate ugly people. So Will decides to get the president to pay for all the ugly people in the world to either get plastic surgery or never use meers. In the end the meers accept this arrangement and TV goes back to normal.

This movie is near perfect, it had everything from hilarity ensuing to all hell breaking lose; 4 out of 5 helmet stickers.

GFY

This is what you fags get. fuck you all.

Mr. As College Preview

2008 Top-25 College Footyball Preview

This is where the teams are right now, not where they’ll end the season.

(1) Georgia - Best team that Mark Richt has had in his tenure at UGA. Knowshon Moreno is the real deal. Stafford kind of has a downs-like appearance to him. I loved watching him on Life Goes On. They have a tough schedule this year, with a trip to Tempe, the Cocktail Party against what should be an improved FU team, and in conference road games at South Carolina, LSU, and Auburn. But of course, they play in the S.E.C., so their schedule is tough every year. I can see this team going 10-2 with that schedule. Their other problem is they need dudes to stop doing stupid shit and getting suspended. They will be missing 5 for their opening game against GA Southern, who is no pushover. This won’t be an App State/UM type of result, but GS will be able to hang with them for a while. Their O-line is starting 4 soph & 1 freshman, and even though the 4 soph started last year as rookies, they might have problems protecting the retard.
Key games – Sept 20th @ ASU, Oct 25th @ LSU, Nov 1st FU, Nov 15th @ Auburn
Projection: 10-2

(2) Ohio State - Remember that I said this preview is for where teams are now, not where they’ll end up. Beanie Wells is the best RB in the country. The defense is returning just about everyone. The team as a whole is returning 20 starters. The kicking game is solid as usual. Now, with all that said, there are holes on this team that could doom them this year. The #1 problem is the QB. Todd Boeckman is decent, but that’s it. He showed in the LSU game that the game should not be put in his hands. They were doing well running the ball, but as soon as they went away from that and let him throw it, they were D-U-N. They have 4 returning starters on the O-line, so give the ball to Beanie and don’t let Boeckman lose it. I am excited to see how Terrell Pryor is going to fit into the plans. Everyone is comparing Boeckman/Pryor to Leak/Tebow, but I don’t see it. Pryor is not a raging homo who wears jorts.
Key games – Sept 13 @ USC, Oct 4th @ Sconnie, Nov 15th @ Illinois, Nov 22nd UM
Projection: 10-2

(3) Southern Cal - Once again, Petey has his team loaded with blue-chippers. I fucking hate that guy. As usual, they have a shitload of depth at RB, led by Joe McKnight, who might be one of the top 3 most talented players in the country. He has as much talent as Reggie Bush. Sanchez is the starter for now at QB, but my guess is that by midseason he’ll lose the job to Arkansas transfer Mitch Mustain. The dislocated kneecap probably doesn't help his cause. I’m not sure who they’re going to throw to, because their top receiver from last year, the goddman TE, was drafted by the Redskins in April. McKnight might lead the team in rushing & receiving this year. The defense again will be full of playmakers led by their linebacker corps. The schedule is on their side this year as all of their big games are going to be played in LA. Even if they only get decent play from the QB position, this team could be playing in Miami in January.
Key games – Sept 13th tOSU, Oct 4th Oregon, Oct 11th ASU, Dec 6th @ UCLA
Projection: 11-1

(4) The FU Tebows - So much talent, where to start with this team. Percy Harvin is another freak ath-a-lete with worlds of talent. Tebow won the Heisman or something last year. Archie’s record is safe, Tebow won’t win another one. They need one of their RB’s to lighten the load for Tebow or he’s not going to make it through the season. I’ve never heard of their RB’s, but one is a transfer from USC so he’s probably good. Their O-line is the strongest unit on the team (TWSS). They still need some help on the defensive side of the ball. They’ve got a solid LB corps, but the secondary is questionable..
Key games – Sept 6th Miami, Sept 20th @ Tenn, Oct 11th LSU, Nov 1st UGA
Projection: 12-1 *win SEC Championship

(5) Oklahoma - Stoops has the same problem as tOSU lately when it comes to bowls, but dude wins games from August to December. Sam Bradford is coming off of a solid rookie season, he could be in the Heisman race this year.
Random side note: Josh Heupel is the QB coach, but bank on this: he will be head coach somewhere within the next 4-5 years. The guy knows football. He grew up the son of a football coach, won a Nat’l Championship, came in 2nd for the Heisman, and he really wasn’t all that talented. But he knows football. Back to your regularly scheduled programming.
They have tons of talent on this team. Great offense, good defense, good coaching. Special teams might hurt them. Their schedule doesn’t look that difficult. Only big road game is at A&M. They play KU & Nebraska at home.
Key games – Oct 11th Texas, Oct 18th KU, Nov 8th @ A&M
Projection: 12-1 *Loss comes in Big 12 Championship

I’ll get a little less long winded for the rest of the top 25.

(6) WVU - Loads of offense. Not a whole lot of defense. Pat White will be a Heisman finalist. Noel Devine is fast. O-line is awesome. They’ll score 45 and give up 35 per game.
Key games – Sept 6th @ ECU, Oct 4th Rutgers, Oct 23rd Auburn, Nov 8th Cincy
Projection: 10-2

(7) Missouri - I don’t know how this team went 12-2 last year. But they could make another run this year. Chase Daniel is back for his senior year. O-line is a question mark, though. Defense is good, but has to replace a lot of talent on the line.
Key games – Aug 30th Illini, Oct 18th @ Texas, Nov 29 KU
Projection: 11-2 *Win Big 12 Championship

(8) Auburn - I don’t know shit about this team, but they’re in the SEC and the “experts” have them in the top-10. Apparently their defense is A+ and they have good coaching. Works for me.
Key games – Sept 20th LSU, Oct 23rd @ LSU, Nov 15th UGA, Nov 29th @ ‘bama
Projection: 10-3 *Loss comes in SEC Championship

(9) Clemson - This is Tommy Bowden’s best team that he’s had in 9 seasons. If they don’t make some noise this year, he could be joining Terry on the ABC set. The D is loaded with playmakers in the secondary, and their RBs are among the best in the country.
Key games – Aug 30th ‘bama, Oct 9th @ Wake, Nov 8th @ FSU, Nov 29th Spurriers
Projection: 11-2 *Win ACC Championship

(10) BYU - I fucking hate BYU. But they’ve got a solid program with one of the best young coaches in the country. They’ll be a BCS buster this year.
Key games – Sept 13th UCLA, Oct 16th @ TCU, Nov 22nd @ Utah
Projection: 12-0

(11) ‘Sconnie, (12) LSU, (13) KU, (14) Texas, (15) Cho’s, (16) ASU, (17) Texas Tech, (18) Tennessee, (19) S. Florida, (20) Oregon, (21) Fresno, (22) Penn St, (23) Wake Forest, (24) Utar, (25) Notre Dame…..I keed. #25 is Cincy.

BCS Bowls
Orange Bowl - Clemson versus BYU
Rose Bowl - tOSU versus Oklahoma
Sugar Bowl - UGA versus WVU
Fiesta Bowl - Missouri versus ‘Sconnie
BCS title - USC versus FU

Replay this, tardstache.

Rick Rielly is a tool on TV, but this article is pretty good.

I keep trying to find things to write about on the wwl, but instead, I just read the articles and don't write anything about them.

Joe Gibbs was caught cheating. Those toyota foreign bastards. They deserve any penalties they get.

C'mon US, destroy the slanties.

Replay is officially coming to MLB. The umps decided to stop being whiney little girls and accept the new technology.

I'm going to Orlando in September. Stay away hurricanes.

A poor effort today, so I'm giving you 3 videos.





keith takes out whocares:

I have the mind of a 5 year old child.

But amazingly enough, that could still qualify me for mental dominance in this Lord of the Flies blog we call LOV. And yet it also means that I may have the sense of humor of a 5 yr old, too. And guess what, I do. Sure do. Which is why every time I hear someone say the name "Nastia Liukin", I immediately hear "Nah-sty LOO-kin" as if it was being said by some greasy wop. Like the first time GrandmaEP (who was of course making some sort of pasta dish at the time) met CmEP, and said.. "Whad-eh-yah-doooin with her, eh?!? She's a'Nastee-uh Lew-kin!"

I'm sorry, I find it funny. Every time. Yeah it ain't exactly fresh material, but damnit if it doesn't make me at least slightly chuckle. Though I think it's mostly because the first time I heard her name, Bella was slobbering it out on the NBC set and it immediately confused me. So we can all blame him. (And I'm sure his announcing skills have been discussed here already.) And speaking of people that need to be beaten to death with a plunger, I just heard Lou Holthhhhzz back on a SC segment. They need a tag-team show with those 2. And subtitles. And wet naps.

Linda Cohn is wearing a shiny purple shirt on the 1am SC. She is also wearing a shiny red bra. I know, because her shirt is blindingly see-through. A little while ago, I threw up in my mouth (from a bad burp). I think this might trigger it again. Beth, are you a lipstick lesbo or butchy? And how does Linda C. qualify exactly? Is she like the perfect hybrid? Please advice.

There's a movie coming out Friday called 'Death Race'. It has that Jason something-with-a-B that played in Transporter and the bitch that played Pamela Landy in the Bourne flicks. It looks retard this.

I love the hard moral stance that the Bungles took on C. Henry. "You're out of here!!"... until we need you, which in that case we will hop down from our high zorse and hop on the saddle of our (alleged) jailbird all while claiming that we had a change of heart and that everybody deserves a second chance. Classy.

Doogie is funny. I enjoy him.

Little League WS: Does it look like some of those kids barely swing, or can take a really shitty shoe-string swing, and pop it out of the park? Nevermind the fact that when I was 12-13 and played on travel teams I never saw any kids come close to dinking one out of the park, but whatever. Some of those 'ooohm 'raaaahns seem kinda sketchy. Kids nowadays are on the HGH anyway. Some parents will do whatever it takes. The only reason I begrudge them is cause I don't have my own kid to pump up with pills. Cause ya better believe I'd be first in line taking them from their routine physical to a seedy east-side "personal coach" for kids. Make sure ya stop by the ATM, cause if we've learned anything, it's don't "Clemens" and write checks. Always gotta stay a step ahead..

Cue a joke about Yastrzemski giving "The Wave" to the doctor, motioning him over to the correct clogged artery..

Ya know that song that says "the best things in life are free?" (clapclapclapclap) Well, there's another thing that's great, but unfortunately I think someone pays for them... and that's local commercial spots. Commercials that scream "LOCAL PRODUCTION" make me smile quite widely. I imagine Freak is involved with those productions too, and that also makes me smile.

I will be up at 7am (my time) watching my favorite thing thing evar... USA basketball. If you like baxketball, how can you not love the Serious All-Star Game? It's maximum satisfaction. I have woked up for every game, even though I DVR it. I just loves me some hoops dominance. Plus, I don't wanna risk the chance that I would find out the score before I watch the game. (One of the shittiest things evar.. DVRing and getting it ruined.. ugh, tragic.)

Speaking of tragic, I check in on my Tigers from time to time and it looks like they are still below .500. Fuckin hideous, mayne.

SC has now come full circle. Lou doing the college foosball preview. I now live in SEC country and it makes me wanna slit my wrists and eye balls.

Stop me if you've heard this one before... there's some Nigerian that is amazingly fast and is running in the Olympics.

Hopefully I have ruined your morning in some small way.

Goodbye.

temblings

First and foremost I would like to congratulate Kyle Orton. It takes real skills to beat out Rex Grossman and you did it man! You did it! I'm sure on some nights you were lying in bed and wondering "do I have what it takes to unseat Rex Grossman? That man is all heart, do I really have it in me?" Well Kyle, there wasn't a doubt in my mind. You are a beast, a lumberjack looking beast of a QB. So here's to you Kyle, you did what nobody thought was possible, you beat out Rex.

Now second....Ian Kinsler is out with a sports hernia. He is going to see a specialist in sports hernia repair....that might be one of the worst specialties I have ever heard of. I guess it is not as bad as a hemorrhoid specialist, but it is bad. Seriously, get a new specialty.

Thirdly, if that is a word, what the fuck is up with trampoline being an Olympic event? Seriously? In 8 years hot dog eating is going to be an event, I hope they replace the trampoline with it. I can't even imagine being a grown person and telling someone that I trampoline for a living. I'd have to make up a fake career, which by the by is one of my favorite past times. I usually go with Helicopter Life Flight Pilot. Although I really like, sex therapist, bear trainer, red hat guy at sporting events (you know the fucker who stands on the field in his red hat until the TV time out is over), string salesman and state license plate designer.

Fourthly, again if that is a word, I think Combat Warring is not so bad for a free game. I have noticed that I have gotten some friends requests. I have not clue how to see a friends list. How the heck can I tell if any of my friends are online?

Finally, I must say that I will post a movie review this afternoon. I am running behind schedule here and I need to post this. In the meantime you can look at two pictures of a seal fucking a penguin. The first one I believe most people have seen. The second one, maybe not. The best part about the second one is that all of the other penguins are just standing there watching and wondering what the fuck is going on.

Now, who else wanna fuck wit Evergreen Court?

I'm gonna start the post before I'm too hammered, for a change.

The Bob Saget roast is hilarious.

Our local Cedarburg Mercs baseball club won the north division title this Saturday. Awesome. 20-1 on the season so far. The 23rd is a playoff game against the south division champs. I won't be able to attend, sadly. Hopefully, I'll have some decent footage from the bach party.

Here's crappy footage of a dickhead that doesn't know how to cook on a grill:



Gonna hit the iPod on a brief walk. Be right back. I need to think my way into some material. I'll most likely fail, but that's not a surprise.

Yep. No new material. Saw some drunk honeys, but that's about it.

Misty May and Kerri(sp) Walsh are not good looking. I'll take women's indoor volleyball over beach. More girls, sexier uniforms.

Ugh. Remember when Cat Osterman used to be cute? Yeah, not so much anymore.

I love me some Asian women. And Brazilian women. And Nat Coughlin.

Lovieanne Jung is hot.

This week's "interview". My scheduled interview completely flaked. This one's with Woody. We love the six footer playing left. Tasty.

You might need to either turn up the volume or use headphones. My camera is a POS.







Fuck it. I'll post it now.

It's our Anniversary.

On August 15th, 2006 a rotund Philadelphia man posted the below on a newly established sports blog. It was meant to be a place where men went to grunt, scratch and politck about sports. It turned out to be much much more than that. Happy Anniversary Gentlemen. We've done good.

Where my peeps at?

Where's Temwr87?

Where's Jay White?

Where's Isiah?

Where's Steve?

The revolution is on!!!

2nd entry

Where's Iamunstoppable?

Where's Spaceman Spiff?

Where's Mound of Venus?

Where's Jugdish?

Where's LLCoolScott?

Where's ElPadrino?

Where's Daily Hater?

Where's The Crafty Veteran?

Where's Jfreak213?

Where's Whocares?

Gang... this blog is for you.

And with that it started. Just let it be known that Freak ruined it by posting this later in the day:
"I'll have to start out by saying that I am a huge fan of the Tour de France"

Part of a third post titled, So...Floyd Landis.
I kid you not. Archives don't lie.

I love the missing person's too. It's like we all started on this long journey on the Oregon Trail and we've lost some members along the way and picked up some stragglers on the way.

The Crafty Veteran? Died of Dysentery.

Whocares? Got lost and we chose not to find him.

The Daily Hater was eaten by a bear.

LLCoolScott? Really? He must have gotten lost too, only we not only chose NOT to look for him but the computer didn't even notify us that he was lost.

Mound of Venus broke out with Cholera and we chose not to stop pace nor spend any funds to help him so he died too.

And The Jay White, well you know what happened to him. Aids (updated Oregon trail, similar to Liberty City).

On the 1st Anniversary REV got all mushy and shit and typed out 8000 words about LOV, here's an excerpt of that: "I'm not gonna get all mushy on you guys. But I have something to say. Good job to everyone for keeping this thing going for a full year. It actually amazes me. Not a day goes by though that I don't miss hanging around here. But I do thank you all for keeping this going strong without me. I may be dead to some of you, but my ghost will live." Then legend says after typing this Rev ate an entire dwarf and 4 puppies. We miss you big fella.

So now we begin year 3, right here, right now. And it will be better then ever. You'll see. One day were all going to look up and be on Bob Costas now, chewing up and spitting out some old geezer journalist who keeps saying the same things over and over again.

I'm actually still trying to think of way where we can profit in all of this. If you think about it we spend a good chunk of time on this blog, maybe we can turn this into a Deadspin but bigger. Score some press credentials and bullshit about sports on actual TV. I can totally do that and I think some of you can too. It's actually a dream of mine. (NS, LOV staple by the way)

But that's up to you. I'm ready. Just let me know. I'm hear all week. (Hear is HDH).

Anyway don't forget next week when Keef As brings the hotness on CFB and the week after is a giant blockbuster of a NFL post by yours truly.

Long Live The Lordz of Vengeance! VIVA!

*I pour beer out for the fallen*
*And Whiskey for the Nazi'd*

Piece. I leave you with this.

Hell, I don't know

Keith set up pick 'em/suicide leagues. Go and sign up.

Y! Survival league:
Group#: 5568
Password: twss

Y! College Pick 'Em
Group#: 10588
Password: retard

Y! NFL Pick 'Em
Group#: 22071
Password: nyc

I had a post planned, but I got lost on the internet and now I'm tired. So you get a little bit of this and a little bit of that.

The Customer is not always right.

I'm very upset at the US men's soccer team. They were in perfect position to cruise into the second round and completely blew it. Gave up a silly equalizer to the Dutch in the last minutes and then got a stupid, stupid, stupid red card 3 minutes into their match with Nigeria. Ugh. Total disappointment.

Those chinamen are getting way too close to the US in the medal count. The US has been completely dominating in swimming, but the chinese are quite diversified in their medal winning. If the US dominates track and field like they should, the chinese should be no problem. I'm just worried because the Chinese get medals in stupid events like badminton and judo. Hopefully the US picks up some medals in the regatta to offset the stupid chinese. Limey french bastards.

Madden is decent. Too bad the player I will not name is on the cover. I like the myskill/maddeniq feature. Shows if you make an improvement in a game, and adjusts the computer skill accordingly. I found out that I am absolutely awful at defense.

Dunking after jumping on a trampoline is really easy.


Motion detecting gun. Cool.

Rocco Mania, Sweeping the Nation...

Let's see here...

Michael Phelps is an eating and Gold Medal winning machine. Dude refuses to lose. He should do the "Too Legit To Quit" hand sign at one of the medal ceremonies. That would be hook-da-hook.

Carl Crawford is going to have hand surgery. Rays - thanks for comin' out. Sheffield and Bonds are sitting at home, waiting for the phone to ring. I'm just sayin'. You know, if you'd like to try and win that AL East division title you might want to try and give them a call or something. Unless you're going to be like El P and rely on Rocco Baldelli, which I really wouldn't advise. Personally, I think Crawford is pretty overrated (or as Spiff would say, OVERRATED). I mean, the dude's stats are nice and all, and he plays a pretty mean centerfield leftfield, but take away those steals and there's really not much to write home about. In fact, he's having a down year this year. In 443 At-Bats he's got 69 Runs, 8 Homers, 57 RBI, 25 Steals and he's batting .273. Discuss.

Jay Feely was cut by the Dolphins. Quote from Feely - "I definitely never felt wanted there". Dude, you're the KICKER, no one likes you to begin with. C'mon now. Don't get your panties in a bunch.

I reported this last night, but now this Spanish Men's Basketball picture is a full blown fiasco. Alls I'm saying is that it had to filter through an awful lot of people before someone finally saw the picture and said, "What the hell were you guys thinking?!? No, we can't use that!" I mean, they really didn't think they were going to catch any heat for that? Pow Gasol said it was "absurd" people were calling it racist. So, yeah, the entire country of Spain is pretty f'd up.

"Rafer Alston is due in court Thursday for arraignment on a misdemeanor drunken driving charge." Ah, Skip, will you never learn? If there are any out of work reality TV show people out there, grab a camera and follow Rafer around. Ratings Gold I tell you. Just protect ya neck whenever he has something sharp in his hand. Like if he wants to go to eat out to a nice steakhouse, tell him you made plans already. Hey wait, that should be his new street name; "Protect Ya Neck".

And I'm out of material...

Closed Door

So I got into work today and everyone's office doors are closed. I must have missed something good yesterday. I closed mine just in case. Maybe there is a troll or something that wanders the halls and eats people if their door is open. Actually I doubt that is the case, but you never know. In any case I guess the closed door makes it look like I am really busy. Me pounding away on my keyboard helps that farce along as well. Of course accountants usually don't type this much, so I imagine most people are suspicious. I mean, what the heck could I be typing?

Olympic News: Go look somewhere else for that. Tem doesn't do the Olympics.

Baseball News: Ask Keith.

Football News: Ask El Pad or East Coast and Blue for West.

Soccer News: Ask Beth, she might like that stupid sport.

Basketball News: Ask Tyler or Spiff.

Other Questions: Ask Meiz, if he doesn't know the answer he can use his time masheen to go back in time.

First fan quote I have seen on the WWL that entertained me: "Chad Johnson raced a horse, Phelps should race a shark. ... it might give him some competition!" I would watch that. Only in hopes that the shark ate Phelps, but I'd watch it.

Tonight I am going to see an Advanced Screening of Tropic Thunder. My buddy got tickets to it somehow. He made it seem like it was difficult, but since he had like 30 of them, I am thinking that it was not difficult. Anyway, before I watch it I figured I better review it:

This movie is about some folks in Hawaii who get caught up in a storm. That's right, it's thunder in the tropics. We've had earthquake movies, ice age movies, tornado movies, now this is like a hurricane movie. They set it in Hawaii to avoid any tensions between the races. Nobody knows if Hawaiians are white or black, so nobody will call the movie racist.

Anyway, the tropic thunder hits the coast and all hell breaks lose. (We should add that to the list of can't miss movie/TV terms, it and "hilarity ensues" are first ballot hall of famers.) So yeah, all hell breaks lose and trees start falling on people and everyone is scared. But Mr. Myagi saves the day by running out and saving his arch nemesis. 40 years of hate are washed away with one heroic deed. But all was not solved because Daniel San must still fight some Asian looking dude so he can bang some Asian chick. Which is bullshit because you know he wouldn't have left Elizabeth Shue behind. Tapping Elizabeth Shue = heaven, seriously it would be hook da hook, but I digress.......So Daniel San fights the Asian dude, wins and everyone is happy.

Oh and the storm eventually blows over.

2.5 helmet stickers out of 5.

Its the new Monday gimmick!

The 1st couple are basically tests.










Here's the actual feature of the post. I'll do some text as usual, along with a weekly interview. Paddy seems to be on board to do it on a regular basis. So, here we we go.





InTouch Weekly questions as asked to Miley Cyrus.

Panthers That Are Golden

EPCS - composite index of statistics, wit, bullshit and know-it-all.

#1 - Florida International
The Sun Belt Conference is due for a #1 team. FIU is poised. SI predicts a 1-11 season but I just don't see it. While the Offense ranked next to last at 118th last year the defense came in at a respectable 108th. You just don't score on FIU at will. Golden Panthers will shock the world.

#2 - Utah State
They were 2-10 last year but easily could have been 10-2. Coach Guy is really just a good guy, overall. You know. And good things happen to good guys.

#3 Southern Methodist
Religious teams always do well at some point. I mean, when God has your back what's going to stop you? The Horned Frogs can't beat a team backed by God.

#4 Temple
Temple are known as the Owls. And Owls are creatures of the night. Meaning they win all of their night games. So if the schedule works in their favor they could top the polls for the first time since Lee Corso was sober.

#5 Army
I think being called the Black Knights is racist. But that's what the polls need. A little racism. It's about time the brothers get some respect. Just ask Robert Downey Jr.

All right, all right. My attempt at levity. It's Friday. Onto the real shit.

Now, keep in mind, Pre-season CFB polls are the worst. No games have been played yet, key players move all over, whether it's in or out, LMC (see that's funny), and these polls usually get thrown for a loop right around the time the powerhouses stop playing cupcakes. I mean even Meiz could do this and end up halfway right.

Anyway here is my attempt at nailing what looks to be, another chaotic CFB season. It's a hybrid Poll system. I'm guessing who's going to be where come December. With a little pre-season hype mixed in. It's complicated. Try to follow.

Unfortunately, I think we are in for another OSU - Someone Championship game. In doing some research for this post I realized two things. One, Jim Tressel runs as good as a college program in the nation, and two they play in the Big Ten. A conference that, lately, has taken a back seat to the SEC and the PAC 10.

#1 Ohio State - I don't like it just as much as you. Believe me. There is hope though. The perfect season may be lost at USC on Sept. 13th.

#2 Missouri - Pre-season hype mixed in with the fact I think they can go undefeated. I really do. Chase Daniel leading the attack is a legitimate Heisman threat and "they" say this is Pinkels best defense in 8 years.

#3 USC - Trojans always belong in the Top 3. Year in Year out they usually have the best collection of talent. They'd be #1 if I didn't have Dirty Sanchez questions.

#4 Georgia - I had them 6th but just switched it. It has something to do with the history in CFB in which teams are put on pedestials early in the year based on what happened last year and said team getting knocked off, twice.

#5 Oklahoma - Sooners have to have a bad taste in that mouth the past two years. After Noel Devine and Pat White castrated them on national TV last year they have to be motivated to come out and dominate. Bradford is as accurate as any QB in the nation and if they can avoid a late Texas two-step (A&M followed by a trip to Lubbock) they could play for the NT.

I'll stop with the capsules here. Don't want to get period blood on Keef's preview coming Aug 22nd. The rest of the rankings:

#6 Florida
#7 LSU
#8 Texas Tech
#9 Auburn
#10 WVU
#11 Clemson
#12 Wisconsin
#13 Kansas
#14 Tennessee
#15 ASU
#16 BYU
#17 Texas
#18 Oregon St.
#19 Penn St.
#20 Wake Forest
#21 Pitt
#22 Va Tech
#23 Michigan
#24 Fresno St.
#25 Oregon

Throw a surprise in, maybe a Utah gets some play. South Florida? Something completely out of nowhere I may look at a team like North Carolina in the weak ass ACC.

Maybe next week I'll do Bowls. Maybe.

No post

HDH Style-

i am glad i do not have to do a complete 360 on this brett favre thing.

i mean, if he was traded to the bucs i minus well stop being a fan. the battle of the bays was always one of my favorite battles and i hated brett. to think i almost found myself in the mist of a new era.

brett is a gunslinger and i am not sure that is what a bucs team needs. add to that the fact that I am pretty sure he is an as. and I don't think the Bucs want him. Jeez-a-lou would you want him on you're team? i don't want to sound all holier then now, but goddman it, the bucs won a super bowl with trent dilfer and i think that blueprint will still work. It worked back than and I believe it will work now to.

the deal to the jets has to be mind bottling for jets fans. does kellen suck that bad? i guess pennington was beating him out in camp, so maybe he does. jet's fans, let me know how you feel. please advice.

Signed,
Tem

Scrambled Eggs

My brain is all over the place lately. Gotta do the new Apartment checklist thingy. New apartment is still a mess. Gotta call 20 people to get confirmations for this damn bachelor party. Gotta figure out a way to pay for a bus and catered food. Bossman is on vacation this week. Iam is MIA. Getting killed at work.

This is taking way too long. Fucking customers. Go away.


Fuck it. This is what you get.

Holy Pig Races Batman!

I'm gonna write something in a minute.

For now you can comment on what I am going to write.


OK, so now I am writing stuff. So today is a nice day in the tem office. Big Boss is gone, other big boss is gone and other big boss is busy. Tem's boss is gone, other boss is gone, other boss is gone. It is almost like tem is in charge. Which is dangerous. Keep an eye out on cnn.com for news about something big happening in Ohio.

I'm glad Morgan Freeman seems to be OK enough. I would have actually been sad had he died.

I read that the Yanks lost Joba, I hope they find him.

The Breers seem to be in trouble for sure, but you never know. Sometimes a little punching can really bring a team together. It's working in Carolina. Steve Smith apologized for punching some guy in the face, so it's all good now. Steve will be in time out for a couple games, but he knows what he did and he feels really bad about it. In addition to being in time out he also gets last selection of juice boxes for the next 4 weeks.

So pig races....the state fair is going on and they have pig races. Apparently they take the big fat pigs and put them at one end of the arena. Then they take a piece of cheese and put it at the other end. The pigs apparently high tail it across the arena after said cheese. I am super excited to see this. I think that is an indication that I have a brain imbalance, but whatever, it's gonna be hook da hook. Secretly I am hoping they have a little pig race against a big pig. It'll be like in Mario Kart when Bowser just destroys one of the little guys, let's say Toad.

Hmm, let's end this with either sportoscopes or a movie review.....hmmm, the movie review seems easier and since I am running late I'll go that route.

Bottle Shock

This movie is listing on the imdb.com's coming soon. So it'll be here soon. But you don't have to wait that long to hear what its about from me. This movie is a psychological thriller about one of our favorite topics....mind bottling. Mind bottling is really the best way to describe this movie. It'll bottle your mind. In this movie some crazy scientist is putting people through these scary tests to see at what point the mind actually bottles. Of course people don't know that they are being tested in such a manner so they get all kinds of scared and at least one of them goes crazy and starts killing folks. Once the killing begins the scientist starts to feel bad and tries to figure out who the killer is. He is really sad that he bottled all those folks minds, in fact the mere fact that he did that bottles his mind. He really is in bottle shock. So he comes clean and tells the remaining survivors what's going on. Some get pissed, but some are cool with it.

At the end of the movie the scientist kills everyone because he was the killer all along and the killing was just part of the mind bottling. Now he considers himself a mind bottling expert and he plans on doing more experiments in another town.

3 helmet stickers out of 5.

Manny's first Dodger Game.

So I went to the Dodgers game on Friday. The Girlfriend failed to mention the "RS" after the section number on our tickets, so instead of super awesome seats, they were just "good". So in honor of Meiz, who is probably sleeping off a massive hang-over right now, here are some pics from the game (mouse over for comments):

Cut it out

Just to note, over 1200 home runs were traded yesterday. I haven't found a Boston fan that is happy about this trade. H is faking the funk. He can't be happy about it. I for one am estatic. Maybe Papelbon will die soon and then we can all throw a Boston Sports Is Dead party.

Griffey in center. It's like I woke up and it's 1995 again. All that's missing is a wicked peachfuzz mustache, my beeper and a Sony Walkman with a Wu-Tang tape in it.

Word is Edmonds and Griffey are going to battle each other for intergalactic old fuck in center.

Now the focus as shifted to renting a RV and driving to Baltimore for the weekend. No hotel, no flight. Ravens/Raiders Oct 26th. It's possible. It's now a 4 team race.

Dark Knight this weekend. This weekend baby. Wish me luck.

Go ahead Mr. Wendall.

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Just Teasing
Dolphins +12 over Jets
Colts-3 over Texans
Saints +4 over Chargers

Last week was non-contact drills. Today we put the pads on, as you can probably tell. Next week starts two-a-days.