Friday, December 26, 2008

El Pad's Weekly Betting Forum

Where I Stand :
Cash $608
Picks 45-42-2

Cash, dwindling. Week 17, the worse. Who's resting who needs it. Who will fall flat on thier face.
Who I want to fall flat on thier face (Cowboys) and a 8-8 team getting into the playoffs as a #4 seed. Let's start with that game.

Chargers are giving 9 maybe even 9.5. Those are some points right there. I don't know if I want to touch that. Chargers are hot, since stumbling to 4-8 they've won 3 straight but one was by the pube of Norv Turner's vadge. I'm gonna ride the "punk" Cutler. Gimme the points for $100.

*Editor's note: Funny how the Chargers are calling Cutler a punk when they have a QB who is a giant punk. I like how that works.

Philly. C'mon Philly. Don't you guys hate the Cowboys as much as us Yankees? WWBFD. Serious, if Ben Franklin and Yosemite Sam were pitted against each other in a steel cage match with special guest referee Rowdy Roddy Piper who would win? Assuming Yosemite has to leave his pistols with the announcers of course. Do something for once, for once do something, make your town proud. Stop being fat, lazy, sacks of shit. The Phillies did it. And no one saw that shit coming. I shouldn't bet with emotion but I can't help myself. Give me the Eagles at the Linc, $50. (Wish the weather forecast was colder and shittier)

Ravens have a must win, Jags are playing for pride I guess. Maybe the Mike Smith hire in Atlanta had an impact on some Jacksonville players. Who knows. They sucked ass this year when most people, including me, thought they were hot shit. Funny, they waltzed into Steeler country last January and beat the Steelers, pretty much the same team. This year they have 5 wins. And they won't get 6. Not in Baltimore with a playoff spot on the line. Ray Lewis would murder a fool before that happens. (murder jokes are grate). Give me the Flying Flacco's for $200. LAYING 12.5!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Miami is getting a couple from the Jets. Who blew thier season like 5 times but still could possibly end up playing January football. I love the NFL. Wait. Wait.

The Dolphins are getting 2 points. But isn't the script already written? Can't we just turn to page 789 in the "Jets Shit The Bed Again, Minus the Testeverde Achilles Tear" book? Where it says, small town Tennesse boy who was drafted by The New York Jets, played relatively well for 7 years until discarded for a 40 year old aging legend comes back to NY to eliminate the very team he played for with the Dolphins, a team which the year before won 1 game. 1 game. Pennington, in the drawl that has become likeable, dead pans after the game, "Old people die, that's just what they do".

Give me the fins +2 please. I would like to wager $150. And if you think Parcells is not reading Coach Sparano's gameplan like Moses read the commandments your crazier than kodiac130.

Quick hits for a minute:
Tampa -14 takes out the frustration on Oakland. I think. $50
Arizona -6 gets in January shape? I think? $25
Bears +2.5 win in Houston? $25

That's about all I got.
Happy Kwanzaa Steve!




580 comments:

1 – 200 of 580   Newer›   Newest»
tem said...

I doubt tits is showing, so I am not waiting.

El Padrino said...

good call

El Padrino said...

t was getting impatient

like i've failed you in the past

tem said...

i wasn't getting that impatient. i said I'd wqait until hungry time.

tem said...

that's like 2.5hrs away.

well 2 now i guess.

El Padrino said...

hungry time!
i forgot my leftovers

i was tired

tem said...

i have some sweet leftovers.

chicken/tomato lasagna

and

some ham/peas/potatoes

tem said...

i think the potatoes would be nice if i mixed in some kraft mac and cheese. that stuff makes anything a classy meal.

El Padrino said...

i'm angry i dont have them

tem said...

i wouldn't have had them for lunch anyway.

there are five or six people in the office today, so today is a good day for a 3hr lunch.

El Padrino said...

wow, did he have to shoot the girl in the face?

tem said...

article doesn't load for me, so i am going to say yeah, he did.

El Padrino said...

COVINA, Calif. (AP) - The bloodbath began when an 8-year-old girl attending a Christmas Eve party answered a knock at the door. A man dressed as Santa and carrying what appeared to a present pulled out a handgun and shot her in the face, then began shooting indiscriminately as partygoers tried to flee.
By the time it was over, at least eight people at the party were dead and the house was torched. The gunman killed himself hours after exacting revenge against his ex-wife by going on a massacre at his former in-laws' home.

tem said...

i think that happened in one of those "Silent Night Deadly Night" movies.

tem said...

Divorce is brutal.

El Padrino said...

Not always,

I'm divorcing myself from beer and switching to whiskey.

See, not bad.

tem said...

you'll miss beer.

it won't end well.

tem said...

one day after drinking some whiskey beer is going to come up to you in a super sexy outfit, probably something belgian, and you'll regress and go back.

tem said...

Bucks forward Joe Alexander can be voted into the All Star Game!!

Vote for the retard!!

El Padrino said...

"one day after drinking some whiskey beer is going to come up to you in a super sexy outfit, probably something belgian, and you'll regress and go back."

i would never leave beer

El Padrino said...

i guess we are the only two morons at work

tem said...

looks like it.

although i am basically just coasting through the day. even more so than usual.

El Padrino said...

today is a good day to talk in movie quotes

tem said...

at work or on here?

either way my vocabulary would be limited.

El Padrino said...

here, of course

tem said...

ok pilgrim

El Padrino said...

If I were the man I was five years ago, I'd take a FLAMETHROWER to this place!

tem said...

This little one's not worth the effort. Now come, let me get you something.

El Padrino said...

please dont quote star wars

thanks and regards

El Padrino said...

Leave the gun. Take the cannoli.

tem said...

I don't think there will be a return journey

El Padrino said...

not sure what that is

tem said...

I do not believe it! I will not!

El Padrino said...

AK-47. The very best there is. When you absolutely, positively got to kill every motherfucker in the room, accept no substitutes.

tem said...

It's either the 4th of July, or someone's trying to kill us!

El Padrino said...

ha, spaceballs

El Padrino said...

There's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?

tem said...

Oh, shit. There goes the planet.

tem said...

If you grow careless, dont blame me. And I don't care if the Cossacks do pick you up! Goodbye! And take this with you!

tem said...

HUNGRY

El Padrino said...

Hey everybody, we're all gonna get laid.

Keith S said...

"i guess we are the only two morons at work"

Me too

Keith S said...

I got pissed off last night and slept on the couch

Keith S said...

But this morning I left for work and I start backing out of the driveway and I notice my steering is fuckt. I can turn if I pull the wheel as hard as I can. So I try leaving the neighborhood and then the engine starts clicking. I get it back home, get in a suite fight with fmk, and she tells me to take her car. So here I am.

El Padrino said...

what pissed you off on xmas night

Keith S said...

"what pissed you off on xmas night"

fmk

Keith S said...

We were at her parents and she was in a good mood. As soon as we were leaving she turned into a monster

El Padrino said...

"We were at her parents and she was in a good mood. As soon as we were leaving she turned into a monster"

Ah ok, i've seen that movie before

JFreak said...

Bluray is only a good gift if you remember to buy an hdmi cable.-

tem said...

hungry got postponed for a bit.

damn.

tem said...

now i wish i had brought in the leftovers.

Keith S said...

I wish I had brat* in leftovers

tem said...

how's the fmk-mobile?

Keith S said...

I'm not doing so hot in the bowl pick em

tem said...

isn't it better than the k-mobile?

Keith S said...

"how's the fmk-mobile?"

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> mine

tem said...

bowl pick em i was too lazy to do the confidence rating stuff.

my picks will suck anyway.

tem said...

i thought fmkm >>> km

Andy M said...

wft. We're goddman busy here

Keith S said...

She has an '07 Acura RSX

tem said...

and i was right.

1 helmet sticker.

tem said...

"She has an '07 Acura RSX"

sounds nice.

is the RSX an SUV?

Keith S said...

"i thought fmkm >>> km"

That's what I said

tem said...

i get TSX, RSX, TL, et al mixed up.

Keith S said...

"is the RSX an SUV?"

No, it's a sedan. I think the MDX is the suv. EP might have that one

tem said...

"i thought fmkm >>> km"

That's what I said"

i was just restating my correctness. it is a rare occurence.

El Padrino said...

"Bluray is only a good gift if you remember to buy an hdmi cable.-"

duh

Keith S said...

She might have a TSX. It's either a TSX or an RSX

tem said...

"EP might have that one"

EP wouldn't stoop to the Acura level. He has a Benz, a Beamer or the Batmobile from the Michael Keaton movie.

El Padrino said...

the mdx is more expensive i have the RDX, 10k less, at least

Keith S said...

75% of the people here took today off. I'm retarded

Keith S said...

But I'd rather be at work than home right now I guess

Andy M said...

I brought my flip to work. I will do my best to get footage of dum dum and post it on my youtube page

Andy M said...

I tried to play some drunk CoD World At War last night. The results were not pretty.

El Padrino said...

wait, your allowed to take off and you didnt?

El Padrino said...

what an eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeediot

Keith S said...

I just overheard some chick say "December 25th is just another day. I mean, happy birthday Jesus. But he was just another dude."

Keith S said...

"wait, your allowed to take off and you didnt?"

Our fiscal year starts September 1st and I've already used a boatload of my vacation time. I only have a week left and I'm going to need that in March for the honeymoon if I'm still here

tem said...

I tried to play some sober CoD World At War last night. The results were not pretty.

tem said...

if it happens.

Keith S said...

AHIIK

El Padrino said...

weird

tem said...

my buddy plays the CoD thing online a lot. so i got on there. the peeps were not happy that a total noob was playing with a somewhat high rated character. they thought i'd be better.

fooled them.

Andy M said...

"my buddy plays the CoD thing online a lot. so i got on there. the peeps were not happy that a total noob was playing with a somewhat high rated character. they thought i'd be better.

fooled them."


Suite. I can't wait to be that guy, too.

tem said...

i played one round and went 5 kills to 15 deaths.

2 of my kills were just random grenades i threw.

tem said...

i am hungry now. i am going to go eat.

Keith S said...

So violent

El Padrino said...

online war games are tough, i've mentioned before i choose to play those alone

Andy M said...

I like to stay out of the line of fire and be sniper.

Andy M said...

People can't grasp the concept of the Seattle area not being prepared for snow. When it snows there, they don't plow the streets, they SHUT THEM DOWN.


jeezaloo.

Keith S said...

I got this game yesterday. I know what I'll be doing all night tonight

Keith S said...

"People can't grasp the concept of the Seattle area not being prepared for snow. When it snows there, they don't plow the streets, they SHUT THEM DOWN."

It was snowing during the game last week when the Jets played there and the place was full. Did they all walk there?

Keith S said...

If my serpentine belt broke, would that fuck up my power steering?

El Padrino said...

stretch before you play that keef

Keith S said...

When I took my car in to get the cat removed this summer, the dude told me I had a crack in my serpentine belt and it needed replaced.

El Padrino said...

"If my serpentine belt broke, would that fuck up my power steering?"


yes

Keith S said...

"yes"

Would I still be able to drive the car? Because I drove around the block this morning with it

El Padrino said...

Would I still be able to drive the car? Because I drove around the block this morning with it

yes, but the wheel would be stiff and will only get stiffer (TWSS)

would prevent you from making hairpin turns and dodging any serious threat of a head to head collision

the point is you'll have to get that fixed pretty soon

El Padrino said...

SG is dumb, how could you replace Rosie Perez in white men cant jump

her fucking side boob carries the movie

El Padrino said...

"screwing is for carpenters"

is a classic

what a fool

Keith S said...

Alright thanks. The battery light on the dashboard came on, so I'm guessing that's what happened. I didn't open up the hood though because I had to get to work. I guess I need to take that in tomorrow.

Keith S said...

"her fucking side boob carries the movie"

True story

isiah thomas said...

fmz went out to play golf with her peoples....cooked up a bacon/provolone/egg breakfast sammie, glass of yellow gatorade and finished it off with a CRUNCH bar.

don't even trip

Keith S said...

The only NBA bet I got right yesterday was the Lakers. Pitiful

isiah thomas said...

We were at her parents and she was in a good mood. As soon as we were leaving she turned into a monster

3 years running fmk has left her parents house in tears.

ns

El Padrino said...

"fmz went out to play golf with her peoples....cooked up a bacon/provolone/egg breakfast sammie, glass of yellow gatorade and finished it off with a CRUNCH bar.

don't even trip"

color me jealous

tem said...

"If my serpentine belt broke, would that fuck up my power steering?"

yes

per the bible: A serpentine belt is a single, continuous belt used to drive multiple peripheral devices in an automotive engine, such as an alternator, power steering pump, water pump, A/C compressor, air pump, etc.

isiah thomas said...

her fucking side boob carries the movie

yes.

spiffg is gay

tem said...

"3 years running fmk has left her parents house in tears.

ns"

how does zeke know about fmk?

Andy M said...

3 shitty phone calls in a row. I need that new yob.

tem said...

serpentine belt is very much important.

runs everything.

battery light is on because your alternator isn't running anymore.

steering is jacked because your power steering is gone.

clicking noise is probably the belt railing up against some moving part.

isiah thomas said...

part of the haul from yesterday : nba 2009, 007 and World at War.

isiah thomas said...

how does zeke know about fmk?

jeebus I am good.

fmz in tears 3 years running.

isiah thomas said...

aahahahahahahahah

IN YOU FACE! Phoenix Suns


ahahahahahahahahhahaha

the Spurs continue to find new ways to ball dip them.

Keith S said...

tem has serpentine belt nollidge*

Andy M said...

Serpentine belt is easy to change. Just need a big wrench to move the tensioner.

El Padrino said...

that was a good game

shaq looks good

wft?

El Padrino said...

"Serpentine belt is easy to change. Just need a big wrench to move the tensioner."

i love when people say shit like this

isiah thomas said...

shaq bought in to what the suns training staff was selling.

they do a lot of preventative stuff and use "new" training techniques.

see: Hill, Grant (who was healthy pretty much all of last season till he aggravated a groin/abdominal injury in the last game of the season)

Keith S said...

"Serpentine belt is easy to change. Just need a big wrench to move the tensioner."

OK Midas. Change mine

isiah thomas said...

i love when people say shit like this

I wish you could bet on this on centsports.

"Can deke actually change a serpentine belt?"

Yes +1100
No -110

Andy M said...

I took autos classes from one of the best autos teachers in the country. I can do easy shit like that.

Keith S said...

Doesn't shaq also take of the 2nd game in back-to-back games?

El Padrino said...

"I took autos classes from one of the best autos teachers in the country. I can do easy shit like that."

well, dont i feel like an ass

isiah thomas said...

GK teaches auto shop also?

isiah thomas said...

yeah they've been resting shaq a lot.

tem said...

anyone know where i can find the line for tomorrow's WVU/OSU basketball game?

tem said...

keith just needs to put the new belt on, the old one should pull right off no problem, if it is broken.

tem said...

centsports keeps just crashing my internet explorer.

Keith S said...

"keith just needs to put the new belt on, the old one should pull right off no problem, if it is broken."

Riiiiiiiiight.

Andy M said...

National Champs again


This one with a photo

Andy M said...

"Riiiiiiiiight."


Seriously, its easy. There should be a diagram right under the hood somewhere.

Keith S said...

"Seriously, its easy. There should be a diagram right under the hood somewhere."

I looked it up online. Removing the engine mount does not sound like something I want to be doing.

Andy M said...

"I looked it up online. Removing the engine mount does not sound like something I want to be doing."


Woah. What the fuck kind of car do you have?

tem said...

find the spread for the WVU/OSU game.

the belt will take care of itself when you take it to a mechanic.

Keith S said...

"What the fuck kind of car do you have?"

This is what I read

tem said...

"Once the mounts were unbolted, it took all of 3 seconds to get the belt off."

see taking the belt off is easy.

Keith S said...

"find the spread for the WVU/OSU game."

Can't

Keith S said...

Mechanic said it would cost $180 to get 'er dun

Andy M said...

So you have a grand am?

El Padrino said...

"Woah. What the fuck kind of car do you have?"

PLEASE SEE EARLIER COMMENT

i love when people say shit like this

Keith S said...

fake drnuk tem emailed SG, claiming to be Andy

Keith S said...

"So you have a grand am?"

Grand Am GT.

Keith S said...

Mechanic said it costs more than normal because of the engine mount situation

tem said...

i have not gotten to the andy email yet.

Keith S said...

"see taking the belt off is easy."

For someone who knows what they're doing

Keith S said...

It's at the end

Andy M said...

GA belt replacement

Andy M said...

"Mechanic said it costs more than normal because of the engine mount situation"


That's retarted.

Keith S said...

The tensioner will be down below some of the components, but above the crankshaft and accessible from above, though some mechanics say it can be hard to reach without a customized thin tool.


::blank stare::

tem said...

drunk andy wasn't near drunk enough.

Keith S said...

Step2Rotate the belt tensioner bolt counter-clockwise with your breaker bar or ratchet tool to loosen tension on the belt


::blank stare::

Keith S said...

"For optimal maintenance, check belts every 7,500 miles or 12 months for wear."

hahahahahahaha, what about every 96 months or 118,000 miles?

El Padrino said...

"That's retarted."

you are retarded, keef let a mechanic do it

they are trained to fix cars

i've fixed a few cars in my day (pops was a part time mechanic and construction worker) changin belts is easy if you've done it 100 times

tem said...

i'm going to have to get real drunk and email simmons.

there is no way i would be able to spell heterosexual when drunk emailing. none.

that guy might have blown a 0.04 on the breathalyzer for the first email and a maybe 0.08 for the second one.

when tem drunk emails it is in the 0.12-0.18 range.

El Padrino said...

it took me 1 whole hour to put together a Elmo Kitchen for the baby (fucking Santa bought it unassembled, lazy fat fuck)

and i consider myself very handy

Andy M said...

If you buy the belt @ AutoZone, I think they'll lend you the tool for free.

Andy M said...

"you are retarded, keef let a mechanic do it"


Calm down. I'm not trying to dissuade him from going to a mechanic, just trying to provide an alternate solution so the guy doesn't need to spend extra money.

tem said...

rocky montages were dumb.

isiah thomas said...

It's alright darlin', I'm a volunteer fireman.

tem said...

Step2 Loosen the bolt so that the belt isn't tight and can be pulled off.

*fixed

Keith S said...

"Calm down. I'm not trying to dissuade him from going to a mechanic, just trying to provide an alternate solution so the guy doesn't need to spend extra money."

I appreciate that. But as much as I don't want to spend $180 on the car, I don't want to fuck it up and end up paying more.

El Padrino said...

"Calm down. I'm not trying to dissuade him from going to a mechanic, just trying to provide an alternate solution so the guy doesn't need to spend extra money."

and then he'll be back at the mechanic spending double because he puts the tensioner on the wrong way and he combustes something else

it's cool you know shit about cars, nice talent to have, not mocking you but you cant tell a guy who obviously has no car fixing experience to change a fucking serpentine belt, it'll be a disaster, we are not talking about a fucking tail light or changing oil

tem said...

why don't these rocky dudes just redo the whole movie? they are like 20% of the way there already.

El Padrino said...

"I appreciate that. But as much as I don't want to spend $180 on the car, I don't want to fuck it up and end up paying more."

$180 is high btw

shop around if you can
have you used this guy before other than the dead cat

Keith S said...

I'm going to my dad's tomorrow morning. Maybe I'll call him and see if he can give me a hand with it. He fixes airplanes for a living

Keith S said...

I just don't know how I would get the car over there

Keith S said...

"have you used this guy before other than the dead cat"

No, but the place was referred to me by a couple of people I know who say that it's the most honest place they've ever taken it.
I'm going to check with pops this afternoon and see if he can give me a hand with it

tem said...

you would tow it.

tem said...

actually you'd have your dad come to it.

Keith S said...

"you would tow it."

Would probably cost as much as taking it to the shop.

Keith S said...

"actually you'd have your dad come to it."

He's got all the cool tools at his place

El Padrino said...

fixing airplanes is cool

El Padrino said...

where does he live in Scottsdale?

El Padrino said...

wait, fmz is golfing?

Keith S said...

"where does he live in Scottsdale?"

Mesa. Takes me about 20 minutes to get there.

El Padrino said...

kwanzaa was invesnted in 1966, which means it's a fake holiday

El Padrino said...

*invented

El Padrino said...

i mean for crissakes they get the entire month of february to celebrate thier heritage

El Padrino said...

"Five months into the first World War, troops along the Western front took a Christmas Eve break from fighting to sing carols to each other across the battlefield. The following morning, German soldiers emerged from the trenches and began to approach Allied troops while calling out "Merry Christmas" in English. Luckily, it wasn't a trick; dozens of British fighters came out to greet them and shake hands, some even exchanged cigarettes as gifts. Later dubbed "The Christmas Truce of 1914," it was one of the last examples of wartime chivalry."



cool, xmas spirit at it's finest

Keith S said...

Happy Boxing Day

Keith S said...

"xmas spirit at it's finest"

Yeah that is pretty suite

Andy M said...

"and then he'll be back at the mechanic spending double because he puts the tensioner on the wrong way and he combustes something else"


The tensioner doesn't come off. Its spring loaded.

Keith S said...

mize won't even quit

El Padrino said...

"The tensioner doesn't come off. Its spring loaded."

i know---point is he'll do more harm

Andy M said...

Okay. Its been dropped.

tem said...

like a pass to braylon edwards.

Andy M said...

hi-ooooooooo!

Keith S said...

I've called 5 places and they're all $180. Suite.

Keith S said...

Looks like that's gonna be my best bet. And noone installs outside parts. Douches

El Padrino said...

that's some rough news keef

why dont you book andy on a fun fare to pheonix, it'll be bout $180 and he can fix it then you guys can go mini-golfing or something

tem said...

"I've called 5 places and they're all $180. Suite."

they are all in cohoots.

they have a website or something and the 1st guy posted his quoted price. then the rest just say the same number or higher.

Keith S said...

"why dont you book andy on a fun fare to pheonix, it'll be bout $180 and he can fix it then you guys can go mini-golfing or something"

That doesn't take into account the $500 I'll need to feed the guy

Keith S said...

"they have a website or something and the 1st guy posted his quoted price. then the rest just say the same number or higher."

Wouldn't surprise me

Keith S said...

Mother fuckers charge $70-$80 for the belt. That's redonk

Keith S said...

"that's some rough news keef"

Oh well. It's just coming out of my Vegas fund.

tem said...

can't you take it out of fmk's vegas winnings?

Keith S said...

fmk doesn't gamble

Keith S said...

Unless you count her taking a gamble on me


OMJ

Andy M said...

I charge 2 lobsters an hour.

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