Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Mailing It In.

As previously reported: Furcal might sign with the Braves. That dirty, goddman, sun*-of-a-bitch. As Zeke said, now I gotta go out and buy a goddman Braves Furcal jersey. Or wear my Dodgers Furcal jersey and pray I end up on Straight-Cash-Homey. Man, I am really going to be pissed if he signs with with Atlanta. The ONE TIME I go out of my way to buy a jersey and the guy plays 3/4 of a season in two years and then goes and signs with another team. Thanks, asshole. And memo to Dodgers Management: Hey dickheads, you gonna spend some of that money or what? I love how the Dodgers just sit back and wait for other people to dictate how much money they should spend. Because the players really LOVE when you do that.

::Begin Seinfield voice:: What. Is the deal. With all of these NBA head coaches getting fired? ::End Seinfield voice::

Seriously tho, what's going on here? Yes, your team is off to a bad start, but do you really think that firing the coach 20 games into the season and having an assistant coach the team to five more wins is gonna help? And you still gotta pay the coach you fired. Might as well keep the coach 'til the rest of the year, make his life a living hell and pray that he quits. Like, let's say you trade for Darko and demand that he plays 35 minutes and night and that he be the focal point of the offense. No coach would be able to put up with that. I love it when these teams give these coaches 4 or 5 year deals because they NEVER make it past three years. Seriously, in 2010/2011, when Ray Allen's feet fall off of his ankles, and KG has noticeably slowed down but he still has the same intensity but now it just pissing everyone off when he gets in their faces, and Paul Pierce's vagina starts giving him trouble again but he still manages to put up 25 shots a game and they suck and miss the playoffs, Doc is going to be the fall guy. But he won't be remembered for that. The most asked question will be, "Whoa, how did Doc win a championship as coach? No, seriously bro, HOW DID THAT HAPPEN? Did like five teams die in one horrible airplane crash? Because, I mean, that's the only way to explain how that happen." ESPN will run a "Top Five Reasons Doc Won a Championship as a Coach" and none of them will involve Doc and his coaching prowess.

Wow. That last paragraph took a pretty wild turn. I don't even remember what it was supposed to be about. Oh yeah. Don't sign an NBA coach to a long-term deal, you're just setting yourself up to negotiate a buyout at some point.

Gerald Wallace has had a pretty bad week. His Grandmother died, so he took some days off for her funeral. He gets back to Charlotte and immediately has to get back on a plane when he found out that his father died. Man, that sucks.

I don't know why they would do this, unless Dantony is seriously trying to assemble the terrible half of the Suns roster from the 2003-2006 years, but ESPN has the following on their rumor page: "The contracts of Diaw and Bell match those of Eddy Curry and David Lee..." If I was Paul Shirley, I'd get my agent on the phone and ax him why Dantony hasn't called yet. "Yo man, I was a part of that magical 54-win 2004/2005 season. You NEED me!"

Speaking of the Knicks, I've been a little out of the loop, what's the latest with Marbury? Are they seriously going to pay him to stay at home? Jeebus. I really need one of these NBA contracts.

Speaking of crazy contracts, Jerry Porter was placed on IR. He had 11 catches this year. He earned a million dollars per catch. I really need to get one of these NFL contracts.

Speaking of the NFL, My Christmas Wish this year is for for a some kind of device that will block the Cowboys, Tony Romo and T.O. from appearing on my TV. Enough already, we get it! Shit is fucked up! Stop talking about it! Fuck!

More football news: the Chiefs GM resigned. Yeah, thanks for the great job; here's a gold watch, don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out. Hey, remember that time you traded for Joe Montana and we still didn't make the Superbowl? Man, it must suck to live in Kansas City AND to have you football team suck at the same time. That's just rough. Because just living in KC would be enough for me to commit ritual suicide.

El P reported this yesterday, but the article he linked really didn't really do the story justice. Greg White is changing his name to Stylez G. White. He got the name from the movie Teen Wolf. Here's some quotage: "White said he picked his new name from a character in the 1985 movie 'Teen Wolf,' starring Michael J. Fox. 'That was his best friend’s name,’ White said. 'I always liked that name. It’s not that I don’t like Greg White.’ In the movie, Fox’s friend is named Rupert 'Stiles’ Stilinski. White changed the spelling and adopted the name as his own." Alls I have to say is; freakin' AWESOME!

This just in: Zorn admits he's totally in over his head and asks a reporter at the press conference for a valium. How you can start off on fire, look like world-beaters then have it all go into the crapper this fast is beyond me. With their start, they should have been able to coast into a playoff slot. I dunno man, it's pretty hard to be a Skins fan.

That's all I've got.

849 comments:

1 – 200 of 849   Newer›   Newest»
El Padrino said...

T better gets TCS points for this post, well done sir!

El Padrino said...

fucking knicks

El Padrino said...

at least they are competitive and fun to watch

El Padrino said...

if lee gets traded ima commit a homicide

El Padrino said...

a gruesome one at that

El Padrino said...

decapitation might be in play

El Padrino said...

i got a confession to make

El Padrino said...

i got a cup of starbucks coffee this morning

i will accept the judgement of my peers without a fight and i'd like to apologize to my family, my agent and my nutsack

El Padrino said...

it gets worse

it was peppermint mocha

El Padrino said...

but it was delicious and it was raining outside again, i thought i was in seattle for a minute, it's rained/sleeted/snowed like 11 days in the month so far

El Padrino said...

Be gentle.

El Padrino said...

free bagels

and i didnt even have to use my AK

El Padrino said...

steph will be traded soon, there are 4 teams that want him believe it or not

NS

and if all else fails expect a release, walsh will stop at nothing to avoid it but out of those 4 teams there are no takers on picking up any of the salary

Beth said...

I haven't been on much lately but at least when I do get on LOV it's to end a run.

El Padrino said...

there is a woman here named GIGI


I'm in love with a stripper......

Beth said...

And welcome back Furcal! Until it started getting reported as basically a done deal I had no clue it was even a possibility. Suite.

El Padrino said...

your the only person i would want to end my run

El Padrino said...

he's a bit fragile no?

El Padrino said...

and what are they doing with Yuni Esco? 3rd?

El Padrino said...

KJ at second, Yuni 3rd, Furcal SS

not bad

El Padrino said...

Kotchman at first right?

not bad at all

El Padrino said...

i mean, i'm not frightened but it isn't that bad ya know

El Padrino said...

the bagels suck

i shoulda known

Beth said...

It's not totally clear who would play where but it sounds like KJ may move to the outfield. And/or they may resume talks for Peavy since they can now trade Yuni.

Beth said...

NY bagels suck???? Say it isn't so EP!

El Padrino said...

"NY bagels suck???? Say it isn't so EP!"

they are not NY bagels, the fool bought them from AU Bon Pain

Beth said...

They should be fired immediately.

El Padrino said...

kid dont know anything
he's a rook

tem said...

scores through TEM's post:

Andy M 10
blue 24
el pad 11
jug 3
keith 19
spiff 37
Tyler 2
zeke 14

El Padrino said...

brett farve in the pro bowl is laughable

Beth said...

John Abraham NOT in the pro bowl is laughable.

El Padrino said...

overall everyone would agree the pro bowl is laughable

is it 50% fans/50% coaches?
i gotta look it up

Beth said...

1/3 fans, 1/3 coaches and 1/3 players.

El Padrino said...

"1/3 fans, 1/3 coaches and 1/3 players."

so it's sort of legit, how do the travesty's keep happening

tem said...

because everyone knows the pro bowl is a joke.

tem said...

the players probably let their buddies fill out the ballots.

tem said...

same with the coaches.

Beth said...

Apparently if they just went by fan voting 12 Redskins would've been starting.

tem said...

i think if they went by fan voting Yao would start at center for the NFC.

blue said...

Skunkpatch had a good take on the "fan voting" portion of the probowl.

how the fuck do fans know which center and guard and weakside linebacker are having good seasons?

blue said...

everyone bitches about snubs....abraham is one that's brought up a lot...which defensive end do you take off the NFC squad to put abraham on?

El Padrino said...

"how the fuck do fans know which center and guard and weakside linebacker are having good seasons?"

i do. if you follow it like i do you would too, i think you would

your boy Clandy (sp?) is having a pro-bowl year as a rookie

blue said...

philip rivers has been getting mad pub for getting snubbed.


well quit being an asshole and win some games dickwad...

note to phil rivers: if people (coaches, players, fans) don't like you as a person, you're not making the probowl, loser.

El Padrino said...

good point blue, abraham belongs but then so does the 3 ahead of him

blue said...

Clady deserved to go, he's given up 1/2 a sack this season on a team that throws the ball 75% of the time. He's had one holding penalty.

Jason Peters did not deserve to go, he's a joke

blue said...

"i do. if you follow it like i do you would too, i think you would"

right, but probably 60%-70% of fans don't know shit about it.

El Padrino said...

"right, but probably 60%-70% of fans don't know shit about it."

agreed.

snee and o'hara deserved it
snee averages like 7 pancakes a game,he's become a real force

tem said...

collinsworth was campaigning big time for a tampa bay buc lineman for the pro bowl during a game.

did the buc make it?

blue said...

no bucs on the team

blue said...

oh, clifton smiff made it from Tampa

blue said...

fucking yao kilt the nuggets last night

blue said...

Starbury bought a ticket to the game against the lakers last night and sat in the stands.

that guy is hilarity.

El Padrino said...

chad ford relax with the nuba draft dude, kiper goes first anyway

tem said...

Tuesday's recognition of Albert Haynesworth as one of the best defensive linemen in the NFL could come at a steep price for the Tennessee Titans.


When Haynesworth was named to the Pro Bowl on Tuesday, it triggered a clause in his contract guaranteeing he can become an unrestricted free agent after this season.

blue said...

damn, that 10 points lead that spiff was spotted is tough to overcome

tem said...

"no bucs on the team


oh, clifton smiff made it from Tampa"



and derrick brooks.

blue said...

"and derrick brooks."


if you knew, then why'd you axe?

tem said...

"damn, that 10 points lead that spiff was spotted is tough to overcome"

you had it overcame (overcomed?) but then he pulled away with a newer/older some walls and a couple links.

at one point it was 20 to 20 and then like 24 to 24.

tem said...

"if you knew, then why'd you axe?"

i didn't know. i had to look up the roster myself because i was thinking "clifton smiff is the fucking returner, how the fuck did a buc returner make the pro bowl??? blue is just making shit up"

El Padrino said...

"at one point it was 20 to 20 and then like 24 to 24."

so your saying there's hope?

tem said...

there is hope for blue.

he needs more links and needs to catch a newer/older or a wall.

El Padrino said...

i'm this close to verbally ripping this lymie in half via email

El Padrino said...

i had a suite run this mornin

tem said...

steve would have won yesterday.

between price gauging and the other stuff i was rolling when i was reading that.

blue said...

yeah, that bastard hit and older/bnewer right in front of me

blue said...

it's like he was thumbing his genitals at me

blue said...

yeah, the price gauging was priceless

Jugdish said...

bad week for tcs for jug

Jugdish said...

it's like he was thumbing his genitals at me

if he had them

tem said...

jug can't blame outside forces.

you gotta step up.

Jugdish said...

that was a mini wall there

El Padrino said...

vadge

blue said...

"if he had them"

i was talking about spiff, but that was funny anyway

Jugdish said...

ohh..i was referring to steve.

i read some of the spiff vs steve

good stuff!

Jugdish said...

I like steve's "very original" thoughts on airports



s

blue said...

"ohh..i was referring to steve."

that's ok, the same could be said about spiffg ::putting on gloves::

not isotoners

blue said...

isotoners are great though. Dan Marino told me "take care of the hands that take care of you"

Jugdish said...

extra gloves?? you've had extra gloves this whole time?

blue said...

dum and dumer

Keith S said...

"My Christmas Wish this year is for for a some kind of device that will block the Cowboys, Tony Romo and T.O. from appearing on my TV."


Maybe steve can come up with something for you like his LoV Blue Blocker

blue said...

whatever keith, you're just like those people who carry dogs onto planes in little carriers.

Keith S said...

Halle Berry's boob
nsfw

Keith S said...

"whatever keith, you're just like those people who carry dogs onto planes in little carriers."

So are you.

blue said...

those pictures of halle barry make me not want to gauge my eyes out

El Padrino said...

i'll never forget halle berry getting her ass torn open by billy bob in that movie

it's ingrained in my domepiece

blue said...

monster's ball


good pic

blue said...

halle barry was topless in "last boyscout" too

and i think a bond movie, or maybe it was that movie with huge jackman and john travolta.

Keith S said...

"i'll never forget halle berry getting her ass torn open by billy bob in that movie"

Yes, that was a good gouge of where her career was heading

Keith S said...

Swordfish.

Keith S said...

Totally forgot she was a stripper in The Last Boy Scout

Keith S said...

She had a bad death in that movie

Keith S said...

But I guess any death would be a bad death

blue said...

yes, swordfish was what i was thinking of

Keith S said...

There really is no way to gouge deaths

Keith S said...

premie. suite

El Padrino said...

asscheeks nsfw

blue said...

"Totally forgot she was a stripper in The Last Boy Scout"

yeah, that was early halle

El Padrino said...

"Yes, that was a good gouge of where her career was heading"

i think she won an oscar for that NS

blue said...

i think she did EP, you're correct in my mind

blue said...

Neil is here tonight

Keith S said...

"Neil is here tonight"

Go

blue said...

conversation in my office just one minute ago:

me: Neil is here tonight

coworker: Armstrong?

me: ::blank stare::

Keith S said...

Neil O'Donnell

blue said...

Neil Smith

Keith S said...

I'd go see a Neilbonics speech

El Padrino said...

ashlee simpson has anal sex

pete wentz sais so on stern yesterday

blue said...

Pete Wentz is gay, so of course that's how they get around it.

El Padrino said...

ashlee link

isiah thomas said...

great post T

El Padrino said...

sais

just give me the title now

isiah thomas said...

Andy M 10

can we get a score breakdown? Andy had like 10 comments yesterday and I don't remember any hilarity. Did he drop a bunch of z's and older/newer?

I hadn't planned on stepping my game up but will if need be.

blue said...

ANDY M brought the heat in the AD

blue said...

the radio guys here did a reenactment of the president bush shoe throwing...they broke a window in the studio, it was hilarity

isiah thomas said...

Starbury bought a ticket to the game against the lakers last night and sat in the stands.

I saw him interviewed, I thought he traveled with the team, buying a ticket is hilarity.

isiah thomas said...

it was peppermint mocha



::plank stare::

isiah thomas said...

I don't drink coffee at all, but Coffee Bean makes a great ice blended drink that is hdh.

"it cools you off on a hot summer day."

name that movie

blue said...

Swordfish

Keith S said...

ricky bobby

isiah thomas said...

ANDY M brought the heat in the AD

huh, went back to check, didn't see heat.

had to have been z's and older/newer from earlier.

10 is mind bottling.

isiah thomas said...

well done keef

El Padrino said...

dega nights

blue said...

"huh, went back to check, didn't see heat."

maybe the french judge is helping tem score

or maybe the french judge has a different definition of hilarity

isiah thomas said...

goddman frenchies

Andy M said...

Peppermint mocha is delicious. I had one in Vegas last year.


Bert should NOT be in the pro bowl

Andy M said...

Nick Collins as a pro bowl safety is also laughable.

isiah thomas said...

Samuels and Sellers getting selected is offensive.

blue said...

safety is a shallow position in the NFC

and the AFC

and the NFL

spaceman spiff said...

"knicks abusing the lakers"

premature ejaculation

spaceman spiff said...

first time watching nate rob for a whole game, that was fun

Andy M said...

"can we get a score breakdown? Andy had like 10 comments yesterday and I don't remember any hilarity."


Its completely arbitrary.

IN YOU FACE

blue said...

"Its completely arbitrary.

IN YOU FACE"


this maid me chuckle.

isiah thomas said...

IN YOU FACE

nice

was this deke or andy talking, sounded more like deke.

please advice

isiah thomas said...

Its completely arbitrary.

and I know tem isn't a zeke fan but is a huge deke/andy fan so that's why the score breakdown was requested.

El Padrino said...

"knicks abusing the lakers"

premature ejaculation"

and i foreshadowed that outcome after that, they were giving it to them though

El Padrino said...

i thought i was funnier than 11 points myself but i love myself

blue said...

they were playing "hide the salami"

or "find the pickle"


or "just the tip"

blue said...

"i thought i was funnier than 11 points myself but i love myself"


again a chuckle

El Padrino said...

what to buy that Dork in your family

isiah thomas said...

I lost my centsports fortune (.24) on the Lakers last night.

Tyler said...

Knicks/Lakeshow last night was pretty entertaining.

Tyler said...

If Dantony ever gets his hands on Lebron, watch out.

blue said...

"If Dantony ever gets his hands on Lebron, watch out"

watch out like "white women in colorado when Kobe's in town"

or watch out like "they're going to be good"

Tyler said...

I like what Dantony is doing, but that roster is a trainwreck.

Tyler said...

watch out like they're going to be good

blue said...

D'antonio's porn stache still troubles me

blue said...

i have nightmares about it.

El Padrino said...

i saw 43.6% of the top 250 movies of all time according to IMBD

Tyler said...

Well, I'm not saying that the entire Dantony experience is for everyone, I still think it's lame whenever he stamps his foot when he complains to a ref. And yeah, the 'stache is disturbing.

blue said...

how do you see .6 of a movie

Tyler said...

And I would say it's more of cop mustache than a porn mustache.

El Padrino said...

"I like what Dantony is doing, but that roster is a trainwreck."

i'm super excited, roster aint that bad, or am i wearing the orange/blue glasses again

isiah thomas said...

I like what Dantony is doing, but that roster is a trainwreck.

he'll be a hero in NY, especially after how Zeke left it. But when the knicks lay an egg in the playoffs (and they will, see the Suns the last 3 years), he'll get crucified.

but it'll be a helluva ride.

blue said...

i didn't know there was a difference


learn something knew everyday

El Padrino said...

"And I would say it's more of cop mustache than a porn mustache."

yes, missing helmet and tight pants

blue said...

i'd have to agree with zeke's assessment

although it might be different in the leastern conference

El Padrino said...

the only reason i can think why his suns never got over the hump is because the lack of defense

no?

but i'll say this the year that Nash got his face busted was thier year, could have sworn they were winning that series vs SanTonio

blue said...

but d'antonio has been much succesfuller than i thought he'd be in year 1

El Padrino said...

cant stop looking at hef's girl removing her panties on the red carpet

El Padrino said...

gonna get fired

blue said...

Robert Horry knows how to win chamyunships

blue said...

"cant stop looking at hef's girl removing her panties on the red carpet"

she didn't want those nasty pantylines

Andy M said...

Ha. I just busted the balls of one of our AmEx Centurion customers. Ran his card backwards and told him it was declined.

He called me on it and told me to quit bustin' his balls. Good times.

isiah thomas said...

but i'll say this the year that Nash got his face busted was thier year, could have sworn they were winning that series vs SanTonio

I think that series had:

Nash's bloody nose in game one (at home)
Donaghy fixed game
Amare/Diaw suspension

isiah thomas said...

maybe it was just the Spurs that was D'antoni's cryptonite.

isiah thomas said...

kryptonite?

isiah thomas said...

kriptonight?
criptonight?

blue said...

Andy likes to have fun with his customers

isiah thomas said...

premie z! that's what, 20 pts?

blue said...

"kryptonite?"

i think this is the one

isiah thomas said...

AmEx Centurion

::plank stare::

El Padrino said...

"I think that series had:

Nash's bloody nose in game one (at home)
Donaghy fixed game
Amare/Diaw suspension"

i wanna say your right, that was there year

El Padrino said...

blodds and crips are wearing elmo sweaters and cookie monster sweaters, respectively

isiah thomas said...

the donaghy game might have been the year before

isiah thomas said...

blodds

+5

blue said...

AMEX centurion...i think that has like a 100k limit?

or is the centurion the "black" card that you have to spend like 250K a year on AMEX to qualify for.

El Padrino said...

the game one loss
amare/diaw suspensions

bogus

that was the year, happened to the knicks, mad heads suspended vs heat like 1995 or 1996

van gundy getting stomped

blue said...

van gundy hanging onto zo's leg as zo is beating some ass

blue said...

that's ok, the knicks got a bogus 4 point play by grandmama one year too to beat the Pacers.

isiah thomas said...

oh, Centurion, yeah I got that, the 100k limit Amex, I call it the Centy.





























s

El Padrino said...

i'm dying to see the Wrestler and not only for the tomei scenes, i hear rourke nails being a wrestler

El Padrino said...

"that's ok, the knicks got a bogus 4 point play by grandmama one year too to beat the Pacers."

::making LJ sign with arms::

blue said...

yeah, i'll probably see the wrestler about the same time i see 4 christmases

El Padrino said...

brian giles is a wife-beater too!

El Padrino said...

YES!

El Padrino said...

wasnt even trying to do that

El Padrino said...

:) :( :) :( :) :( :) :(
:( :) :( :) :) :( :) :(

that's a facebook wall

blue said...

what's a facebook wall

Jugdish said...

:) :( :) :( :) :( :) :(
:( :) :( :) :) :( :) :(


that

El Padrino said...

♦♣♠♥♦♣♠♥♦♣♠♥♦♣♠♥♦♣♠♥♦♣♠♥♦♣♠♥♦♣♠♥♦♣♠♥♦♣♠♥♦♣♠♥

house of cards wall

El Padrino said...

house of cards wall is dumb

Jugdish said...

Paterno with the 3 year extension...has that been posted?

spaceman spiff said...

another set of calendar pics

naked chick this time

Jugdish said...

mental note...look at spiffg links at home

spaceman spiff said...

"Paterno with the 3 year extension...has that been posted?"

mentioned it yesterday

Jugdish said...

centsport bets should have been worked into TCS...maybe next year

El Padrino said...

"Paterno with the 3 year extension...has that been posted?"

From the grim reaper or the PSU AD?

Andy M said...

I've seen 38.8 % of the top 250 movies

El Padrino said...

"mental note...look at spiffg links at home"

daily mental note

Jugdish said...

we were shut down from internet surfing yesterday because of the IE problem.

hello firefox

El Padrino said...

tem would score a 3% on that test

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