Wednesday, December 31, 2008

If you're havin' girl problems I feel bad for you son...

Reasons I have not been around lately:

A. I have been sick. It sucks. Second time in a month. I'm off for a week and a half from work for Christmas Break and I've been sick for 95% of it so far. Just my luck.

B. I have been looking for a condo. Yesterday, I finally found two that I like. Now I have to talk to the Real Estate Dude and the FInancial Guy to see how much of my money they want to take. 20% down + closing costs is a lot of fucking money. I have been going through my apartment looking for things to sell on eBay. If anyone knows someone who is in the market for a awesome 22" CRT monitor, let me know. I'll give them a REAL low price. Unfortunately, because of the economy, noone is buying SHIT. I have a bunch of old Shepard Fairey posters (the guy that did the Obama red and blue illustration) but I am afraid to put them up on eBay and then have them sell for just $150. So that helps me out a lot, thanks economy, you suck.

Lately I've been finding myself looking at prices for Washers and Dryers and other appliances because some of the places I've been looking at have the gas hook-ups, but no appliances. I never thought I'd find myself shopping for a Washer and Dryer, but here I am. It's a little strange. I have also been watching all of those housing shows on HGTV and A&E. This one woman in Texas was looking for a HOUSE under $100k and didn't have any money to put down. She found a big house that needed a little work for $79k and was complaining about how much work she would have to do. Fuck you lady in Texas. I would kill a dude for house at that price. You can't even get a studio condo in the ghetto for $79k here.

P.S. - $300+/month HOA fees are BULLSHIT, but since the only houses that I can afford are fixers in the ghetto, I guess I've gotta deal with it. I checked out a house yesterday in an area that Kod would have driven by going 50 with the doors locked and the windows rolled up. There would be NO WAY to get him out of the car, let alone look at the place. Yeah, it was that rough.

I was going to do a whole year in review thing, but because of the previous two problems, I said fuck it.

Ok, now to address some old business. Apparently, last week, I forgot a couple of people on my Christmas list, including Rev. But he's not the guy that got his panties in a twist over it. So, here's some belated presents for the people I missed:

Blue: A new coach for the Broncos that doesn't suck, so maybe they can make the playoffs next year.

Rev: Some cigars. Or food. Both are unhealthy for the dude, but I dunno what else to get the guy. Maybe Jimmy Rollins' game-worn jockstrap from Game Five? It could be the piece de resistance in the mancave.

Aitch: Some tissues for the next couple of years. Boo-hoo, it sure will suck to be a Boston sports fan now that all of that bad karma is coming back on youse* guys. I can't wait for KG and Paul Pierce's double ACL-tears next month. It is going to be awesome.

Jug: This dude is hard to shop for. Maybe a gift card to Bed, Bath and Beyond? If he has time, of course.

Ok, onto sports.

As alluded to earlier, the Broncos fired Mike Shanahan. Their next coach really has their work cut out for them. They have 79 running backs, and none of them are dependable or durable. On offense, they have a nice, young Quarterback that needs some time to mature (he was terrible in that Chargers game) and both of their receivers are studs. Scheffler, when healthy, is very good. Their defense is a little up and down, and they really depend on Champ Bailey's health. I'd say their weaknesses are; health (Scheffler and Bailey really hurt them when they were out) and the running back problem. You know, they're in the AFC West, they SHOULD have won that thing. You've got two terrible teams in KC and the Raiders, and you've another team who's head coach is Norv Turner. I mean, seriously, do the math here, that division is ripe for the taking.

Personally, I think Shanahan got a raw deal. But I do think he dug his own grave a little. His downfall was the running back situation. You need to be able to run the ball and control the clock. I think his ego got involved and he thought that he didn't need a name back and that he could create one in his system. Well, it turns out that he could for a couple of years, but lately, not so much. Hopefully, for everyone that plays fantasy football, the new coach gets a good running back and stays with him.

It's been a crazy last couple of days to be an NFL coach. The Jets fire Mangini, and are now talking to Cowher about coaching the team, meanwhile, the Browns are talking to Mangini about coaching their team. Madness. Martz is fired, apparently Singletary is going to be kept on as head coach. That's three firings in three years for "Mad" Mike. Not good to have that kind of job history on the old resume.

MLB Rumor Mill: Apparently, three teams are interested in Derrick Turnbow. THREE TEAMS. Yeah, I don't get it either.

Other MLB Rumors: The Dodgers are talking to Adam Dunn. They're tired of waiting for Manny to make up his mind. I am tired of all of this waiting and wish everyone would pull their heads out of their asses and do something. All I have to say about Dunn is that if he signs with the Dodgers, you're looking at maybe 35 homers (Dodger Stadium is where power hitters lose all of their power), so you're left with some terrible defense in left field, and a .215-.230 average. AWESOME. The guy is an OBP machine, but the average is just a downer. Hopefully he keeps "In The Air Tonight" as his batter walkup music.

Great. Carlos Boozer is going to have knee surgery. I should have taken Deluxe's dumb-ass trade when I had the chance. I think it was Dalembert and Rashard Lewis for the Booz. Whatever.

All right, that's all I've got. Happy New Year Bitches!!!

263 comments:

1 – 200 of 263   Newer›   Newest»
Beth said...

It's been awhile, but let's start off these comments with some tits. :-)

blue said...

tits are nice

blue said...

so Pat Bowlen must really think he can hire Bill Cowher, otherwise that was a dum move

El Padrino said...

YES TITS!

El Padrino said...

on a dark desert highway

El Padrino said...

blue is back

El Padrino said...

but blue, without elway he did close to nothing for a long time

agree or disagree

blue said...

i agree

he was resting on his laurels for the most part, but it's just odd to fire a coach who has the 2nd best offense in football, you'd think they'd give him another year because honestly they just have to fix their defensive problems and they'll be very good.

Beth said...

Cool wind in my hair.

blue said...

but i guess he wouldn't fire his D-coordinator, but i don't blame him, it would be the 4th time in 4 years or something like that.

and he's an awful personnel guy on defense, and he'd never give up his overall personnel authority.

El Padrino said...

my god, i am in love with beff

El Padrino said...

blue, i agree, good stuff
to me the firing makes sense
i always wondered how many chances he would get

blue said...

btw-

fuck california, that state blows balls

El Padrino said...

T, feel better
(hope it's not the clap)

blue said...

yeah, i'm not surprised it happened, except that all the media seemed to think that Pat Bowlen would never do it.

He missed the playoffs for 3 straight years, any other coach (other than Jeff Fisher) would have been fired as well.

blue said...

maybe shanahan can go back and coach the Raiders now...or the JETS

Beth said...

I didn't figure you as an Eagles (the band, not Philly's football team) fan EP.

El Padrino said...

i think shanny will take a year unless something good presents itself (jets or cowboys)

El Padrino said...

"I didn't figure you as an Eagles (the band, not Philly's football team) fan EP."

my taste in music knows no boundaries (cept cuntry)

El Padrino said...

eagles, great, great band

El Padrino said...

kod, not sure how much pat williams is going to matter

he's a run stuffer fo sho but iggles dont run

Beth said...

The Eagles were in Atlanta not too long ago and I still regret not going to see them.

blue said...

"i think shanny will take a year unless something good presents itself (jets or cowboys)"

he has a clause in his contract that they don't have to pay out his full 3 years $21M if he takes an NFL job in the next year. I think he'd wait that out, but you never know because he's getting older.

I wouldn't be surprised if he got a big-time college gig. (fuck you Auburn for not waiting until all the NFL firings to fill your vacancy) He's always talked about finishing his career as a college coach.

blue said...

what time does the market close today?

I'm thinking i might dump a bunch of stocks so I can take a loss on my taxes, and then turn around and buy them all back on friday.

El Padrino said...

"He's always talked about finishing his career as a college coach."

makes sense

El Padrino said...

"what time does the market close today?"

4pm,

blue said...

ah, full day, good stuff

El Padrino said...

damn the gundy

had 30 points on that fucker

blue said...

EP, Derek Lowe? Really?

El Padrino said...

zeke, ann arbor building

Andy M said...

Turnbow has a nice, managable contract for whomever wants him.











s

El Padrino said...

"EP, Derek Lowe? Really?"

not a bad 4th starter, 12MM relatively cheap, despite his age he takes the ball every 5th day and has bullpen experience in case he sucks

also has a few big game performances in him

Oliver perez wants 16MM per and Randy Wolf is a joke

5th starter can now be a surprise invitee or one of the kids

Andy M said...

Fuck the Eagles. Worst concert ever.

blue said...

derek lowe pitched like a banshee the second half of the season last year, don't be fooled, he has an awful WHIP.

But if he's going to be you're going to pay 12M to a 4th or 5th starter, then he's probably the best available.

blue said...

your the worse concert ever

Andy M said...

I really hope the Breers can sign Sheets.

Andy M said...

"your the worse concert ever"


No, I put on a good show. The Eagles were the worse concert ever.

El Padrino said...

barkely dui, was this mentioned

blue said...

"I really hope the Breers can sign Sheets."

I heard the Dodgers are hot for him...or so my sources have said

Andy M said...

Sir Charles got popped for suspicion of drunk driving.

Andy M said...

damn you

El Padrino said...

every hot women i can think of and some i have no clue about

El Padrino said...

poor mangini

remember he named his kid after brett farve

El Padrino said...

Happy NEW YEAR Timezones!

El Padrino said...

Dont even TRIPP

Andy M said...

Time Warner is pulling 20 channels off the air tonight. Fucking bullshit.

blue said...

are any of the 20 channels ones you watch?

Andy M said...

The Palins are fucking retarded

Andy M said...

"are any of the 20 channels ones you watch?"


MTV, VH1, Comedy Central, TV Land...


Viacom channels

El Padrino said...

Cardinals mistakenly fire head coach out of habit.

Arizona Cardinals owner William Bidwell announced today that head coach Ken Whisenhunt has been fired, despite the team winning their division for the first time in 30 years. "Oops," said Bidwell in an official statement on the matter. "It appears I had set up a reminder in my Outlook a couple years back to fire our head coach one day after the regular season ended and set it to repeat every year. It's usually been a great reminder year after year, and so when it popped up today I just started the firing paperwork out of habit.

blue said...

bristol has large mammary glands

blue said...

"MTV, VH1, Comedy Central, TV Land...


Viacom channels"

you didn't answer the question

Andy M said...

"you didn't answer the question"


MTV, VH1, Comedy Central, TV Land...

blue said...

do you watch those channels moron

blue said...

the only one you listed that I watch is Comedy Central, and i wouldn't die if that went away.

blue said...

but i'd be sad i guess

how much are they lowering your monthly cable fee because of this "travesty"?

Andy M said...

"the only one you listed that I watch is Comedy Central, and i wouldn't die if that went away."


And I care because....?

Andy M said...

"how much are they lowering your monthly cable fee because of this "travesty"?"


They probably won't.

blue said...

you still didn't answer the question retard

it's not my fault you have no comprehension of human thought

Andy M said...

I'm done with the asshattery...for now

Andy M said...

"it's not my fault you have no comprehension of human thought"


Good one.

Andy M said...

MTV, VH1, Comedy Central, TV Land...

blue said...

"They probably won't"

that sucks. You know enough people will complain that eventually the popular viacom channels will come back.

blue said...

oh, i get it, you watch those channels

blue said...

apologies

Andy M said...

TW doesn't want to pay the fees.

blue said...

i read a whole book for school once about the cable industry and how it's run. it was actually pretty interesting.

blue said...

the guys who run cable companies are tyrants

blue said...

and since most of them have a quasi monopoly, they don't have to listen to customers and their complaints

Andy M said...

stupid TV execs

Keith S said...

"damn the gundy

had 30 points on that fucker"


Zero chance that you win the bowl pick 'em

Keith S said...

On this day in 1961...

The Green Bay Packers routed the New York Giants, 37-0, in the NFL Championship Game. Green Bay's Paul Hornung, on leave from the Army, scored 19 points in the victory

Keith S said...

You know what's really suite? Taking in my car to get something fixed, and they fix it, but it caused a new problem where I had to take it back it. And they tell me it will cost $270 to fix the new problem, so I pay that, and drive it today and the problem isn't fixed. Goddman mechanics are tuurble

Keith S said...

Washer/dryer deal for Tyler

El Padrino said...

flikr sucks

Keith S said...

This place sucks

blue said...

your face sucks

Keith S said...

Fitting that EP puts a pic on his blog of something that shoots flaming balls

El Padrino said...

"Fitting that EP puts a pic on his blog of something that shoots flaming balls"

it's funny

blue said...

communist

Keith S said...

blue doesn't even know

isiah thomas said...

great post T

isiah thomas said...

T if you're looking to deck out a new place let me suggest Direct Buy.

my peoples bought a new house a few years back and saved some good loot using this place.

I think the "membership fee" might be steep though.

isiah thomas said...

i think shanny will take a year unless something good presents itself (jets or cowboys)


if he takes a job this year it'll be to Dallas.

if he waits till next year it will be to the Skins

El Padrino said...

dont rule out college too

isiah thomas said...

zeke, ann arbor building


nice, I knew about a lot of the afletic* stuff but not the rest of the campus.

saw some updated pics of the footyball construction yesterday.

new outdoor practice facility is hdh.

nice link, thanks for sharing.

isiah thomas said...

just woke up and footyball kicked off.

bonus

blue said...

"I think the "membership fee" might be steep though."

like $1200 or something annual, plus like $5K initiation fee.

isiah thomas said...

21 pts already in the Hou/AF game less than 4 mins in.

isiah thomas said...

.27 on Kansas -9

Rock.Chalk.Jayhawk bitches

El Padrino said...

"He gathers up girls' numbers when he's out. That night, he sent out a mass text to everyone he'd met, saying, 'Come to my room - whoever responds first gets me for the night.'"

piven

Tyler said...

Derek Lowe: He's good for a nine or ten game stretch at some point in the season, normally starts off and ends a season terribly. This last year was a aberration because it was a contract year. He won't do that again and he's just getting older. But, like El P said, he'll bee* a really strong 4th starter, if you're relying on him as aj ace (like the freakin Dodgers did) then he'll drive you crazy. I think he'll do ok in that role, just be prepared for a couple of games where the sinker ain't working and he gives up seven runs before the start of the third inning.

Tyler said...

"if he waits till next year it will be to the Skins"

I would be worried about that. Here is a very likely scenario: he puts Portis and Betts into a timeshare, then trades Portis for defensive help, Betts gets hurt and you're stuck with Cartwright as your starter and Tatum Bell as the backup. Not good times.

Keith S said...

"just be prepared for a couple of games where...he gives up seven runs before the start of the third inning."

John Maine, Oliver Perez, Pedro...
EP knows

Tyler said...

I've heard of DirectBuy Zeke, good lookin' out. The membership fees are expensive, but I might be able to split it with my Mom. She's gonna redo her kitchen and some other stuff.

isiah thomas said...

John Mayne, Oliver Perez, Pedro...
EP knows

*fized

Tyler said...

Maine was my man two years ago though. Picked him up off of waivers at the beginning of the season in two leagues. Not quite as good as Clifton this year, but he was nice pickup.

isiah thomas said...

John Daly suspended 6 months by the PGA.

hilarity

Keith S said...

Clifton was an aberration

Tyler said...

Yeah, I don't expect him to do that well next year. He'll go down to like 15 wins. He got really lucky in a handful of games.

El Padrino said...

"just be prepared for a couple of games where the sinker ain't working and he gives up seven runs before the start of the third inning."


olover perez

Keith S said...

padfast

blue said...

that was an oliver perez i2i, just delayed

Tyler said...

"The Browns are in complete rebuilding mode after coach Romeo Crennel and general manager Phil Savage were fired following a 4-12 season that began with playoff expectations."

Haven't the Browns been "rebuilding" ever since 1999?

Keith S said...

They had playoff expectations this year

blue said...

the "real" Browns are in the playoffs this year.

blue said...

"They had playoff expectations this year"

and the Falcons and Dolphins didn't, so there you go.

Tyler said...

The only reason they had playoff expectations is because ESPN hyped them so much in the preseason.

El Padrino said...

spot on

Keith S said...

Browns beat the Giants, though.

blue said...

and the Giants beat the bungles

JFreak said...

Time Warner got in a tiff with the local CBS affiliate. They didn't get half of the Colts games. I laughed because it wasn't happening to me.

El Padrino said...

And the sky is blue, what's yer point dingleberry.

Keith S said...

"and the Giants beat the bungles"

They were supposed to.

Keith S said...

The sky is only blue because that's how you perceive it

blue said...

i've been getting shat on this year for NFL games. We're not getting double headers some weekends like we're supposed to. It makes me anger

Keith S said...

What are the Giants' odds to win the SB? 4-1? 5-1?

isiah thomas said...

You know what's really suite? Taking in my car to get something fixed, and they fix it, but it caused a new problem where I had to take it back it. And they tell me it will cost $270 to fix the new problem, so I pay that, and drive it today and the problem isn't fixed. Goddman mechanics are tuurble


flux capacitor still broke huh?

isiah thomas said...

Fleming's for dinner tonight

steak and lobsta*

don't even trip

Keith S said...

"flux capacitor still broke huh?"

I don't know what that is, but yeah.

Keith S said...

"Fleming's for dinner tonight

steak and lobsta*

don't even trip"


zeke be rich, you

Keith S said...

I'm heading to Ra for dinner

isiah thomas said...

The only reason they had playoff expectations is because ESPN hyped them so much in the preseason.

NFL too, put em in primetime 5 times.

isiah thomas said...

case y'all missed it in AD, kinfolks met last night.

went better than expected

blue said...

just wait until brady quinn gets to play

isiah thomas said...

zeke got a Fleming's gift card for Christmas, you

*fized

blue said...

flemings is good...good

Keith S said...

Damn, nice gift.

blue said...

"I don't know what that is, but yeah"

science fixtion was never kind to you as a boy?

Tyler said...

"case y'all missed it in AD, kinfolks met last night."

Oh, damn, is it THAT serious with her, Zeke?

isiah thomas said...

I'm heading to Ra for dinner


I'm always intrigued when I drive by their locations. Need to peep game someday. Please advice for what's good there.

Thanks and regards.

isiah thomas said...

Oh, damn, is it THAT serious with her, Zeke?

oh yeah, it was actually her peoples idear to get together which was nice.

Keith S said...

"Please advice for what's good there."

Sushi

isiah thomas said...

i've been getting shat on this year for NFL games. We're not getting double headers some weekends like we're supposed to. It makes me anger

the only problem with our cable/nfl sundays is that they are obligated to show Cardinals games.

Keith S said...

Ra is good for happy hour. This will be the first time I've gone to have dinner there.

isiah thomas said...

Sushi

but what's the Soup Du Jour?

Keith S said...

"the only problem with our cable/nfl sundays is that they are obligated to show Cardinals games."

He-yuuuuge problem

Tyler said...

Going to Outback tonight. $50 giftcard. Laugh at me if you want, but I feel like crap and there's an Outback like two miles from my apartment. So it's convenient.

Keith S said...

It's the soup of the day

JFreak said...

If I had to join an armed forces branch, it would probably be the coast guard.

If I had to choose a real branch, it would be the Air Force.

Keith S said...

"Laugh at me if you want, but I feel like crap and there's an Outback like two miles from my apartment. So it's convenient."

Outback is good.

Keith S said...

You know, for the money

Tyler said...

"the only problem with our cable/nfl sundays is that they are obligated to show Cardinals games"

Well, up until a couple of years ago when the Chargers got LT and were finally not half bad, CBS would broadcast Raiders games every week. I'd take a Cards game over the Raiders any day.

Tyler said...

"You know, for the money"

I had that discussion with the Real Estate dude yesterday. I think it's really good for under $20.

blue said...

crapamento is in the raiders/niners "home market" so guess what, they're forced to watch the raiders games and the niners games every week. Talk about shit outta luck.

blue said...

i'd quit being an NFL fan

Tyler said...

Wow, that is pretty bad. I'd quit being an NFL fan too.

Keith S said...

"I had that discussion with the Real Estate dude yesterday. I think it's really good for under $20."

I was just making a Padrinoan comment.

blue said...

"Wow, that is pretty bad. I'd quit being an NFL fan too."

i lived there when the niners were good at least, so you got decent games, but now it would be gawdoful

Tyler said...

Like I said, when they were broadcasting Raiders games that was bad enough, but adding a 9ers game on top of that would be unbearable.

El Padrino said...

"went better than expected"

dammit, with no major roadblocks you'll be married soon

El Padrino said...

"If you're havin' girl problems I feel bad for you son..."

I got 99 problems but my bitch aint one.

El Padrino said...

angles signed fuentes

El Padrino said...

derosa traded to indians

Keith S said...

Kurt Angles?

blue said...

rockies are supposedly trading for Jason Marquis, i'm not sure if that's good or bad. can't be much worst than what they've already got

JFreak said...

Sad to see DeRosa go.

JFreak said...

usfl is coming back

Keith S said...

This place is awful

Keith S said...

And no, my face is not awful

JFreak said...

Yes it is.

Keith S said...

rome

El Padrino said...

it's been shitty all week

Keith S said...

I'm glad I didn't get another page-a-day calendar for 2009.

blue said...

i'm glad you didn't too

Keith S said...

Maybe I'll go buy one

blue said...

shanahan cried in his exit press conference

Keith S said...

Chicks with big bellies should really make sure that their shirt is long enough in the front before they walk out of their house in the morning.

Keith S said...

That was probably mean, but whatever. It's gross

blue said...

my favorite part of the "new USFL" website.

"The following states have been awarded:





WESTERN DIVISION
California (2)
Nevada
Portland
Texas
Louisiana





EASTERN DIVISION
Florida
Arkansas
New York
Michigan
Ohio
Alabama"


Portland is the 51st State i guess

blue said...

"Chicks with big bellies should really lose some weight or die"


*fixed

Keith S said...

Good fiz*

El Padrino said...

whoever says see ya next year to ma again, will get


::SUITE CHIN MUSIC TO THE CHOPS::

lights out

Keith S said...

Your ma can do suite chin music? Awsome

blue said...

ma, MEATLOAF!

Keith S said...

NY moms are the badder

El Padrino said...

assshooole

asssshoole

asssshoole

blue said...

people here keep suggesting John Elway as the next coach of the broncos....that's dumb

blue said...

pat bowlen used the word panacea in his press conference....that's why he's an owner

Andy M said...

Wow. We got fucking destroyed today.

Andy M said...

"flikr sucks"


fuck you. flickr is gut

Keith S said...

Elway is going to coach ASU when Erickson leaves

Keith S said...

mize is a flickr apologist

blue said...

yeah, uh huh

Andy M said...

"mize is a flickr apologist"


I am a flickr supporter.

Keith S said...

You're a flickr apologist. You're an athletic supporter

Andy M said...

whatever

Keith S said...

Apology accepted

isiah thomas said...

Apology accepted


hilarity

El Padrino said...

office episode where carell outs oscar as gay had me in stichtes

Keith S said...

"office episode where carell outs oscar as gay had me in stichtes"

Saw that last night, too. Faggy is hilarity

Keith S said...

The scene where Kevin was in the office and giggling into the camera what awsome.

Keith S said...

jeezaloo


*was awsome

El Padrino said...

giant nipples

Keith S said...

note to self....

Keith S said...

jeezaloo, my buddy hooked up with cfsilok last weekend and he just told me she's been texting him all week. I warned him, too.

isiah thomas said...

where the hell has Kod been? Has he had Rex-qwan-do after work or what?

El Padrino said...

zeke, your folks live on east coast no?

isiah thomas said...

yep

El Padrino said...

oh so they were in for the visit and met the kinfolk

nice, and no one got hurt

even nicer

«Oldest ‹Older   1 – 200 of 263   Newer› Newest»

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"Idiots with nothing better to do"





"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug





"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino





"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino