Friday, December 19, 2008

El Pad's Weekly Betting Forum

Where I Stand:
Cash $1008
Picks 44-38-2

Pittsburgh -2 over Tennessee ($200)
Who wants to play the Steelers right now? Great article in this weeks SI (yes I still get SI to the house and yes I still think it's relavant) about the 3-4 Zone Blitzing scheme. Dick Lebeau is a hell of a coach. I'm leaning towards putting Pittsburgh in the Super Bowl. My only concern is the o-line. But they seem to have a knack for protecting Ben on game winning drives.

San Fran -6 over St. Loo ($150)
I still don't know how Dallas lost to St. Louis. Like really. Even Shaun Hill can beat them.

Tampa Bay -3.5 over San Diego ($150)
The Stylez G. Whites get it done at home. They need it to get back on track. Whales vagina has a yeast infection.

Washington +6 over Philly
Philly plays great three weeks in a row and now they are favored by a TD on the road. Yeah sure. Skins ressurect themselves and play a good game. Win, lose or draw (it could happen) they most certainly cover.

Atlanta @ Minnesota over 43 ($250)
Over is 8-2 in MIN last 10 games in Week 16.
Over is 6-2 in MIN last 8 games overall.
Over is 9-4 in MIN last 13 games on turf.
Over is 11-5 in ATL last 16 vs. NFC.
I mean that's some damning evidence there. You got the gun, the smoke, the body, the ballistics, the DNA, you got it all.

Think Arizona has no shot in Masshole but don't like the line. Pats are one injury away from calling up Vinny Testerverde to play linebacker. The Denver line is big, even though Buffalo blows again. I'd like to buy into Houston but something goofy can happen in Oakland right? Speaking of goofiness in Oakland the Jets lost in Oakland in week 2. Who's to say they will win and cover in the final home game for Mike Holgrem? They are also o-fer this year travelling out west. Dwight Howard is a man. He's not 40 but he's a man. Colts are in, No 5. seed. Thursday night games are dumb. NFL Network should look into Sat night games. They are the better.

Roy went for 52.

I got a message from J.J. No way they blow 27 games next year. It's impossible.

Today we are having our Holiday party or as I like to call it, The Christmas party. I'm overseeing the sausage and peppers. I made a hot batch and a suite batch. Both can be used as US Currency. Just go to your local bank and deposit a bowl of S&P. One bowl is $10. Bet you didn't know that. The Bakery smelled so good this morning. I wanted to rape those pastries (and the girl at the counter who looks like she is 16 but has the body of a 24 year old sorority sister) . The bread I got was piping hot, i ate half a loaf in the car (now i know what fat people go through). Couldn't resist. It as if I was sitting on the lap of a big breasted women for an hour and she was topless and asking me to feel her boob. I had to. It was so tempting. Deck the Halls bitches.

1,436 comments:

1 – 200 of 1436   Newer›   Newest»
Beth said...

Dammit Tem, I wanted to win round 2 of the survival pick em league but not because you forgot to choose a team this week.

El Padrino said...

tits on a friday

all is well

El Padrino said...

I waited for you my lady.

Beth said...

You're such a gentleman EP...

El Padrino said...

Oh behave.....

El Padrino said...

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!
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!!!!!!!!!
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!!!!!!
!!!!!
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!!
!


WALL!

El Padrino said...

!
!!
!!!
!!!!
!!!!!
!!!!!!
!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tem said...

"Dammit Tem, I wanted to win round 2 of the survival pick em league but not because you forgot to choose a team this week."

can't i still choose someone for sunday's games?

tem said...

great post today.

tem said...

hmm, guess i can't still pick.

oh well. you win.

Beth said...

"can't i still choose someone for sunday's games?"

You'd think so but for some reason once the 1st game of the week is played it's too late. Wonder if the commissioner (Keith?) can change that. This is a cheap win.

tem said...

a win is a win.

i would have taken houston this week.

that is who i took in my other survivor league.

tem said...

although i am thinking of switching to san fran.

Steve said...

Beth wants to win with honor.

El Padrino said...

that's a dumb rule

El Padrino said...

what if you pick a team wed but then the qb gets aids and is out sunday, because there is a thursday game you cant switch it?

GAY

Beth said...

"what if you pick a team wed but then the qb gets aids and is out sunday, because there is a thursday game you cant switch it?"

You know most people in that example would've used an injured knee or something like that EP, but whatever thrills you I guess...

Beth said...

"Beth wants to win with honor."

I figure it's finally time for me to do SOMETHING with honor. :-)

El Padrino said...

Auto got thier money

blue said...

Otto got his money


*fixed

blue said...

christmas party was a joke.

El Padrino said...

i want this

tem said...

details on christmas party blue.

tem said...

blue, spiff is just putting you away now with titty links (note that the same girl in 10 links is still only 2 points) and late night walls.

tem said...

Andy M 24
blue 65
el pad 33
jug 10
keith 59
spiff 78
Tyler 7
zeke 50

blue said...

i knew he'd defeat me with his late nite skillz

blue said...

damn, i'm still down 13

that 10 points for pfieffer is still killin me

blue said...

i need to make a few phonecalls to kathy ireland

tem said...

quit going for older/newer. that has probably cost you 10 points this week.

tem said...

jug lost like 6 on one older/newer yesterday.

blue said...

not me, i don't try for those

blue said...

so the christmas party was just a bunch of women gabbing about stupid shit and drinking wine. I stayed for like an hour. It was ghey

tem said...

didn't you take advantage of a drunk chick?

El Padrino said...

"so the christmas party was just a bunch of women gabbing about stupid shit and drinking wine. I stayed for like an hour. It was ghey"

disgusting

tem said...

blue said...
bnewer

December 18, 2008 12:33 PM



ok so only -2 yesterday for that.

tem said...

el pad, buy 1,000,000 shares of DRE.

tem said...

and 1,000,000 shares of F.

blue said...

i'm not buying any F...fuck F....stupid piece of shit company

tem said...

you can buy BIG then.

tem said...

Woman has 18th baby on yahoo.com


wft??

El Padrino said...

this is called foreshadowing

El Padrino said...

"el pad, buy 1,000,000 shares of DRE."

nah, i'll sell them though

tem said...

quit mixing up buy and sell.

El Padrino said...

what's with this 7 pounds thing, if anyone sees it this weekend i dont care about spoilers, spoil it for me

tem said...

"what's with this 7 pounds thing"

it's a movie el pad.

blue said...

"Woman has 18th baby on yahoo.com"

that's a lot of babies to have on yahoo.

blue said...

EP has never heard the "7 pounds of flesh" saying

blue said...

it's from "the merchant of venice" by Bill shakespeare

blue said...

you might have heard of him, even though you don't read

blue said...

he wrote plays

tem said...

queen elizabeth is rumored to have really written shakespeare's work.

tem said...

as is Francis Bacon, Christopher Marlowe, and Edward de Vere, the Earl of Oxford.

tem said...

also shakespeare was married to Anne Hathaway, this must have been before she started doing movies.

tem said...

and probably before she started dating that criminal.

but i can see why he wanted to nail her. she is pretty hot.

hot like a tin roof with a cat on it. a tin roof that is hot.

tem said...

fuck i had to have missed that natty by less then >* 10 seconds.

tem said...

now it is almost wall time.

tem said...

by the by i sit corrected on the definition of cumfastery from yesterday.

tem said...

7 pounds is what the average human head weighs.

tem said...

also it is what the average baby weighs.

tem said...

coincedence?

tem said...

possibly, but it is far more likely that i just made those two stats up.

tem said...

although that little kid in jerry mcguire knew how heavy a human head was.

tem said...

he was some sort of dork

tem said...

i bet that kid gets mad tail now.

tem said...

from cougars to 18yr old girls he is fucking them all.

tem said...

and when he finishes he always says "and boom goes the dynomite."

El Padrino said...

i've heard of Bill, never saw merchant of venice though

tem said...

i'm running out of steam here.

tem said...

just hit the back to back nattys.

tem said...

i mean back to back premies.

tem said...

i could go for a natty, but i a terrible at them.


is steve going to be on today to test his grammar skillz?

isiah thomas said...

24 year old sorority sister

she'd have to be a super-duper senior

isiah thomas said...

Travis Outlaw absolutely abused Grant Hill in the 3rd Q last night.

Grant looked totally shook.

isiah thomas said...

I got sucked into some women's college volleyball last night and it was fantastic.

ns

isiah thomas said...

is steve still going for the mistake free comments bet today?

ToddPacker said...

merry christmas assholes

El Padrino said...

I've spoiled Seven Pounds

sorry.....

The likely ending
Premise: Ben killed seven people earlier in his life (we'll assume while drunk driving). As punishment, he decides to commit suicide and donate his organs to seven people who really need them. However after he falls in love with Emily, he has second thoughts about going through with the plan. Ben tells Emily his true motivations and she predictably freaks and dumps him. Crestfallen, he realizes the best way to show Emily that he truly loves her is by giving away his heart. (In this case, literally.) Ben dies, allowing Emily to live. Cue the waterworks and poignant Rosario Dawson voiceover!

El Padrino said...

tp what up

isiah thomas said...

the ghost of christmas past....TP!

El Padrino said...

"she'd have to be a super-duper senior"

sorority is for life homie

isiah thomas said...

have a merry fucking christmas yourself asshole.

isiah thomas said...

sorority is for life homie

18, 22, 24, 36 it don't matter, sorority sister is fine by me.

ToddPacker said...

not much....i got my shea seats (orange) last week.... worth every penny

isiah thomas said...

seriously dough, these volleyball chicks had legs and asses for days and some even had boobies and a decent face.

tem said...

we have this old lady leasing lady for our college properties and she was in a sorority in like 1950 or whatever and she is always getting pictures taken with super hot current sorority girls.

isiah thomas said...

not much....i got my shea seats (orange) last week.... worth every penny

do you pay extra for the vomit and #3 on them? also, do they come with sick bags under the seat with heimlick* instructions?

isiah thomas said...

TP - Will the Florida Fighting Tesus's get'r done?

you going to the game?

ToddPacker said...

"have a merry fucking christmas yourself asshole."

perfect

El Padrino said...

"not much....i got my shea seats (orange) last week.... worth every penny"

so fucking jealous
old people are rich

blue said...

EP, why didn't you just five finger a seat?

ToddPacker said...

"do you pay extra for the vomit and #3 on them? also, do they come with sick bags under the seat with heimlick* instructions?"

funny

blue said...

"although that little kid in jerry mcguire knew how heavy a human head was"

he said 8 pounds, so who's right, you or the dorky kid.

El Padrino said...

"EP, why didn't you just five finger a seat?"

chill, dont want to get arrested and banned from Citi field

blue said...

Santa Claus and His old Lady, by Cheech and Chong....one of my favorite christmas skits/songs.

ToddPacker said...

"TP - Will the Florida Fighting Tesus's get'r done?

you going to the game?"

i pray tesus can do it..... yeah i'm heading to the game.... a lot cheaper than going to phx

blue said...

Wilpon has to sell the seats to raise money to replace all the ponzi money

ToddPacker said...

ponzi money is no joke

blue said...

to hell with TP and heisbow and his florida gaytors.

going to a national championship game of some sport every year for the last 3 years.

tem said...

"he said 8 pounds, so who's right, you or the dorky kid"

his 8 counted hair, my 7 does not.

ToddPacker said...

nothing last year, blue... NIT don't count

blue said...

oh, because you don't have any?

tem said...

i have some

tem said...

TP gracing us with his presence is lovely. I thought he died.

blue said...

he's back from the zed

ToddPacker said...

how the hell do you get rid of the "secure and not secure" error message.... old people forget things easily

blue said...

tools/internet options/security/custom level/allow mixed content/enable.

ToddPacker said...

"TP gracing us with his presence is lovely. I thought he died."

not dead yet, tem...no work today

i do miss the LoV though

blue said...

*display mixed content

blue said...

that's +2 for being smrt

El Padrino said...

lov misses you tp

isiah thomas said...

how the hell do you get rid of the "secure and not secure" error message.... old people forget things easily

ctrl+p then enter. do this about 5 times and it'll take care of everything.

blue said...

we do miss the TP

ToddPacker said...

"tools/internet options/security/custom level/allow mixed content/enable."


thanks, blue

blue said...

so TP...you petrified of the Jeff Chizik hiring by Auburn?

I mean that's the first step to end the Florida dominance.

ToddPacker said...

so TP...you petrified of the Jeff Chizik hiring by Auburn?

chuck barkley seems pissed about the hire

Steve said...

Today will be mistake free.


Wrapping a few things up right now.

tem said...

i'm excited for mistake free steve.

blue said...

yeah, chuck is pissed, and he's 100% right.

he was pissed at who they hired for basketball a few years ago too.

he's an angry tiger.

tem said...

i'm disappointed the first error was not in the first comment though. I expected nothing less than that.

blue said...

"i'm excited for mistake free steve."

this will be grate

what did we bet hymn?

ToddPacker said...

"Today will be mistake free."

steve, that's not D- type talk

blue said...

steve bet us that he could go a hole day without making a spelling or grammer error.

ToddPacker said...

what happens if steve loses the bet?

tem said...

am i the only one on the hook for this bet, or did others join in?

tem said...

if he loses he has to wash your balls.

isiah thomas said...

what happens if steve loses the bet?

he has to make sexy time with Deke

blue said...

i think it's a name/pic change for a month, but i'm not exactly sure of the terms

blue said...

"he has to make sexy time with Deke"


please, Deke is dead. the sexy time will be with Andy M

blue said...

you do not speak ill of the zed

isiah thomas said...

the terms

that's a good point, what are the terms exactly?

absolutely no mistakes - typo's or grammar?

payoff is he changes all of our names/pics for a month?

Keith S said...

"Wonder if the commissioner (Keith?) can change that. This is a cheap win."

I can't do anything now, it already announced Tits as the winner.

isiah thomas said...

is there a min number of comments?

ToddPacker said...

"please, Deke is dead. the sexy time will be with Andy M"

what happened to meiz?

blue said...

"I can't do anything now, it already announced Tits as the winner."

you can delete her ...i've seen that happen before.

Keith S said...

"nothing last year, blue... NIT don't count"

FU didn't play for the NIT championship, old man

blue said...

"what happened to meiz?"

meiz is fine...deke is dead

Keith S said...

"you can delete her ...i've seen that happen before."

Good idear. Take that trophy away before it starts to collect dust

El Padrino said...

payoff is he changes all of our names/pics for a month?

not mine, he wouldnt agree to this if he couldnt cheat

i'm out

blue said...

it's very complicated, but now there is this Andy M character, and he seems genuine.

Keith S said...

I'm almost 1/4 of the way to my $10 centsports goal

tem said...

Andy is nice deke.

Andy kilt deke though, so he can't be all that nice.

blue said...

definition of butterface

tem said...

"is there a min number of comments?"

i think it was in good faith that there would be a fair amount of comments from him.

ToddPacker said...

"FU didn't play for the NIT championship, old man"

sorry... they were just 1 game away from beating OSU in another championship

Steve said...

I think the bet is between just me and Tem.

And I'm pretty sure it was 3 days, not a month.

blue said...

fare amount of comments


*zixed

Keith S said...

I was going to root for FU against OU, too

blue said...

speaking of tOSU, what's the early line on their game against Tejas?

blue said...

"I was going to root for FU against OU, too"

now florida is screwed.

ToddPacker said...

texas by 9.5... i think OSU will pull the upset, though

tem said...

3 days sounds right.

i am surprised steve didn't jump at the chance to let other people in, he could change lots of people's names.

i mean, he only has 1 name to risk, so letting others jump in doesn't change his risk, it just adds reward.

tem said...

"i think OSU will pull the upset, though"

no way.

ToddPacker said...

tem is smrt

isiah thomas said...

definition of butterface

what's wrong with this chick's face?

Keith S said...

OSU/Texas games reminds me of a few years ago when K-State got hosed out of a BCS game and they had to go play against Purdue in the Alamo Bowl and lost. I don't think tOSU will win, but I wouldn't be shocked if they did.

Keith S said...

BTW...the bitches left for vegas an hour ago. House to myself for 3 days. Sometimes I miss being single

isiah thomas said...

good point keef, letdown factor is always big.

see cal that one season

El Padrino said...

barkley ducks shoe

Keith S said...

"i mean, he only has 1 name to risk, so letting others jump in doesn't change his risk, it just adds reward."

I would think that if others jumped onto the bet, 3 days would be added for each additional person

El Padrino said...

"BTW...the bitches left for vegas an hour ago. House to myself for 3 days. Sometimes I miss being single"

amen, a-fucking-men

ToddPacker said...

"OSU/Texas games reminds me of a few years ago when K-State got hosed out of a BCS game and they had to go play against Purdue in the Alamo Bowl and lost"

also like the the 2006 UM team... they got hosed in the rematch with OSU and lost in the rose bowl.... although USC might have been favored in that game

spaceman spiff said...

"what's wrong with this chick's face?"

its not good

Beth said...

"what's wrong with this chick's face?"

I agree with Zeke (watching for lightening to strike me dead), that's pretty harsh if you're calling her a butterface.

Keith S said...

"also like the the 2006 UM team... they got hosed in the rematch with OSU and lost in the rose bowl.... although USC might have been favored in that game"

So maybe nothing like it?

ToddPacker said...

""BTW...the bitches left for vegas an hour ago. House to myself for 3 days. Sometimes I miss being single"

amen, a-fucking-men"

enjoy the weekend ep.... you lucky bastard

spaceman spiff said...

"any time i am not having sex with the fm, i miss being single"

fixed*

tem said...

HUNGRY

isiah thomas said...

I agree with Zeke

Merry Christmas, everyone!

El Padrino said...

happy birthday alyssa milano

i ♥ you

Keith S said...

Tomorrow night I will be going here

El Padrino said...

Mke it ran keef, make it fucking rain. and squeeze a tit for me

isiah thomas said...

"also like the the 2006 UM team... they got hosed in the rematch with OSU and lost in the rose bowl.... although USC might have been favored in that game"

2006 UM team was a fraud that was overrated.

Keith S said...

"enjoy the weekend ep.... you lucky bastard"


TP's Alzheimer's acting up again

Keith S said...

"happy birthday alyssa milano

i ♥ you"


Ditto

ToddPacker said...

the grayboxx sounds like a scrip-club full of old ladies

Keith S said...

I really want to call in sick to work today

isiah thomas said...

I'm leaving work early today to get fmz's christmas present shopping done.

wish me luck

ToddPacker said...

"TP's Alzheimer's acting up again"

it happens more and more these days

isiah thomas said...

I really want to call in sick to work today

you shoulda planned ahead and already taken the day off.

El Padrino said...

sam

El Padrino said...

"I'm leaving work early today to get fmz's christmas present shopping done.

wish me luck"

whatta gettin'

Andy M said...

I was shoveling my car out of the snow for 54 minutes this morning. I'm pissed that I had to come to work.

Keith S said...

"you shoulda planned ahead and already taken the day off."

I have sick days so I'm not worried about that. I just have a lot of shit to do

Keith S said...

"I was shoveling my car out of the snow for 54 minutes this morning. I'm pissed that I had to come to work."


You're a slow shoveler

isiah thomas said...

whatta gettin'

so far the planned route is Banana Republic, Sephora, Nordstrom's and the ATM.

Keith S said...

Alyssa Milano pics should be worth 1 zillion TCS points

Keith S said...

"whatta gettin'"

EP is grat

blue said...

"I was shoveling my car out of the snow for 54 minutes this morning. I'm pissed that I had to come to work."

it helps if you don't use one of those kiddie sandbox shovels.

Andy M said...

"El Padrino said...

i want this"


You make me sick.

isiah thomas said...

I was shoveling my car out of the snow for 54 minutes this morning. I'm pissed that I had to come to work.

that place falls apart without you.

isiah thomas said...

it happens more and more these days

TP will be the door greeter at MPS right?

Andy M said...

"You're a slow shoveler"


I'm not gonna bust my ass because the plows piled 2 feet of snow around my car

blue said...

andy should have parked in the garage

El Padrino said...

so far the planned route is Banana Republic, Sephora, Nordstrom's and the ATM.

solid, does she have a ipod?
girls love those nano

ToddPacker said...

"I'm not gonna bust my ass because the plows piled 2 feet of snow around my car"

was it mr plow or the plow-king?

Keith S said...

"I'm not gonna bust my ass because the plows piled 2 feet of snow around my car"

Ah, someone else's fault. Got it

Andy M said...

"that place falls apart without you."


I stopped caring a while ago. I just let people fuck up customers' orders now. It ain't my problem.

Keith S said...

mize got ploughed this morning

isiah thomas said...

fmz still buys cds.

ns

isiah thomas said...

block

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