Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Larry, Don't Be Ridiculous

So here we go again, another Monday in the books. To borrow a bit from Keith, Green Bay - hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha, thanks for showing up for awhile.

It's funny, during the week I think of all these great things I want to write about and then I write about nothing. I just forget about the things I wanted to write about. I should get a notepad or something to write things down on. I wonder if people would ask me what the notepad was for. I'd totally have to make something up because I couldn't say "this blog I spend my workday on." Ah screw it, I'll start writing my thoughts down. Sometimes they are good thoughts.

In gambling news, Freak has laid down like 60 bets in 3 days. Wow. I bet on 2 soccer games today, I hope I win.

Screw it, I know people only want one thing from me so here it is, of course I put something else in front of it first:

Mortensen Report* -

After their embarrassing loss to the Saints expect major changes from the Packers this weekend. These changes could include benching Aaron Rodgers in favor of Matt Flynn. Word out of Packers camp is that they know what they have in Rodgers and it might be time to see what they have in Flynn. As you recall Flynn is the man who beat out the higher drafted Brian Brohm for the 2nd string job.


Movie Review* -

Australia


This movie is about Australia, seriously, the title is not misleading in any way. Go figure. Anyway, so of course this movie is animated and is basically a rip off of those Madagascar movies. In this movie Chris Rock plays a Kangaroo who is totally into hip hop and is a stoner. George Carlin, before he died, did the voice for a grumpy crocodile who keeps getting called an alligator and is therefore grumpy. He might win a posthumous (or however that is spelled) Oscar. I think he will. Queen Latifah is in every animated movie now because she is too fat to fit on the big screen in person. She plays an out of place Koala who is mildly retarded. He thinks he was born with SIDS, a stance that really upsets the crocodile. Anyway, Paul Hogan is in the movie too as well as all the other Australian stars, except ones that could get better work.

So the plot is that these goofy animals need to save Christmas in Australia. As usual in animated comedies fart jokes are plentiful and much animated hilarity ensues. Try to cover the kids' eyes for the crocodile death scene though, it makes Bambi's mom's death look like a cake walk. Anyway I won't spoil the made up conclusion for you, but it was fantabulous.

3.5 helmet stickers out of 5.






*100% made up, maybe. I don't know, maybe they are real. I just made them up but sometimes I make things up that are real.

443 comments:

1 – 200 of 443   Newer›   Newest»
El Padrino said...

those are the saints we thought would be all year

I read romance novels said...

She plays an out of place Koala who is mildly retarded.

out-fucking-standing post tem

total hilarity

I read romance novels said...

they are who we thought they were

Jugdish said...

jug was off yesterday...receiving a redistributed sick day.

Jugdish said...

i wasn't really sick, just didn't feel like coming to work

I read romance novels said...

why are the knicks worried about Cutty's heart? Knicks haven't shown any in years.

I read romance novels said...

receiving a redistributed sick day.

Osama be.

blue said...

d'antonio is saying "godmannit, i'm not going to even play mobley, just approve the trade so he can sit on the bench next to starbury"

El Padrino said...

"why are the knicks worried about Cutty's heart? Knicks haven't shown any in years."

why but?
why?

El Padrino said...

blue's right

El Padrino said...

nah, cat will get some minutes

he can also teach lil' nate how to dress

blue said...

my point was he really really wanted to get rid of zebo

Jugdish said...

hairball

I read romance novels said...

jug that was stanktastic

"Speaking about the girl, the doctor said her mental condition was good. She’s studying in standard VI and good at talking. "There is no decrease in the IQ level. It is just that eating hair is something she cannot resist," concluded Dr Sinha. "

El Padrino said...

that's disgusting

Jugdish said...

that was sick.

It happened in India...and rev was in India.

I'm just throwing that out there.

blue said...

indians do the weirdest things

Jugdish said...

Do you think cmrev makes him a hair casserole for dinner sometimes?

I read romance novels said...

hair curry

Jugdish said...

or maybe they have one of those Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom type dinners with the eyeball soup and chilled monkey brains.

blue said...

watch what you say, rev can now pull a mans beating heart out of their chest.

I read romance novels said...

so rev is going to adopt a young chinese boy now to complete the look?

Jugdish said...

Yes...except he won't be called short round, he will just be called round

I read romance novels said...

I hope the kid is equal parts Indy Jones and Goonies gook kid.

He'll be adventurous but instead of "slick shoes", he'll make shoes that shoot gravy into Fathead's mouth.

El Padrino said...

just realized i had no alcohol yesterday


not good

blue said...

EP is off the wagon

I read romance novels said...

no gambling....no alcohol....who is this EP?

Keith S said...

I did a good job jinxing that guy who needed to win 1 more for the $1mm on WWL

blue said...

flo rida please die

El Padrino said...

when is kornheiser going to get over this brett farve thing

Keith S said...

The state?


s

I read romance novels said...

keef, I've got Coldplay tix for Wednesday - you want them?

blue said...

the broncos are playing the J-E-T-S this weekend.

maybe EP should go to Jets stadium and poop on Jay Cutler

Keith S said...

"keef, I've got Coldplay tix for Wednesday - you want them?"

This seems like a dejavu

blue said...

i took a poll as to what time we should close the office tomorrow.

the overwhelming majority was for noon. unfortunately the vote the only vote that counted was for 2:00

Keith S said...

How much for the tix, zeker?

Keith S said...

Are you trying to clear cap space?

El Padrino said...

rim job, sfw

blue said...

the most recent mort report should be about bret farve and his fear of the vaunted broncos defense

blue said...

*bert

El Padrino said...

"maybe EP should go to Jets stadium and poop on Jay Cutler"

this is a tremendous idear

I read romance novels said...

that was awesome EP

blue said...

i got so confused trying to make sure I called him bert that i messed up and fixed it to bret

El Padrino said...

i can't believe I have to share the same time zone with that turd burger

Beth said...

"He thinks he was born with SIDS"

Great line Tem, well done movie review this week for sure.

blue said...

kids always make fun of the kids born with Sids

I read romance novels said...

Sec 113 Row C seats 15 & 16

paid 92 per

92$ total for bolth?

tem said...

SIDS is no joke.

Keith S said...

I'll probably have to pass. Good lookin out, though.

Keith S said...

"SIDS is no joke."

Tell that to kod

blue said...

dear jason mraz,

quit being so godman happy

regards,
Bobby Mcfarin

tem said...

I keep trying to start SIDS support groups but nobody joins.

El Padrino said...

hockey fights have been solid lately

Keith S said...

Y! College Bowl Pick'em

Group ID#: 7099
PW: episrich

blue said...

"I keep trying to start SIDS support groups but nobody joins"

it's because of the shame that comes with being born with SIDS

Keith S said...

If I name my first born son Sid, with that lower his chances?

blue said...

"If I name my first born son Sid, with that lower his chances?"

i'm not sure it with

it's worll a try though.

I read romance novels said...

only if his middle name is Vicious

Keith S said...

Triple crown update...
keith - 1965
beth - 1960
EP - 1950
freak - 1940
Tem - 1934
mize - 1866
blue - 1848
spiff - 1293
zeke - 788

tem said...

triple crown is for not tem.

El Padrino said...

i took a beating in college last week

tem said...

wft is the new quote at the top of the page re: hug?

spaceman spiff said...

"Triple crown update..."

in you face zeke

El Padrino said...

i dont know but it's not TOPM as far as im concerned

blue said...

my goal is to catch up so i'm not in last place.

blue said...

"wft is the new quote at the top of the page re: hug?"

it was one of those autobot spam messengers that left the comment one day

i agree, probably not the impression we want to give.

neither is the boysauce thing really though.

tem said...

HUNGRY

El Padrino said...

yeah i dont remember the boysauce thing

El Padrino said...

shawn springs was 3rd overall pick in 97'

jus sayin

El Padrino said...

i'm gonna look at previous drafts and laugh

Keith S said...

"shawn springs was 3rd overall pick in 97'

jus sayin"

He's had a better career than the 2nd overall pick

blue said...

"shawn springs was 3rd overall pick in 97'"

the seahawks loved him

El Padrino said...

1997 draft, only one pro bowler after round 4

Al "Booger" Harris

*Jake Delhome undrafted, singed as a free agent.

El Padrino said...

Willie "Roaf" Beef
1993, 8th round

El Padrino said...

Natrone Means business, round two 41 overall, 1993

El Padrino said...

7 pro bowlers in the 8th round, 1993 draft

the most insignificant one?

Elvis Grbac

El Padrino said...

not sure who was protected or available but it looks like the browns did a bad job here

El Padrino said...

J-E-T-S, Jets, Jets, Jets had 4 first round picks in 2000 draft

Shaun Ellis
John Abraham
Chad Pennington
Anthony Becht

El Padrino said...

Chris Hovan was not a Pro Bowl caliber player.....did not know that.

El Padrino said...

Round onem 31, St. Louis Rams, Trung Canidate

Hilarity

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"shawn springs was 3rd overall pick in 97'

jus sayin"


Springs anchored many of my Franchise defenses on the Madden for quite a while.

El Padrino said...

Detroit Lions, Andre Ware 7th overall

everytime i see him announcing a college game i giggle a bit

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"Willie "Roaf" Beef"



you've outdone yourself. I'm impressed.

El Padrino said...

Round 7, Shannon Sharpe

nice find

Jugdish said...

Ware hosts a morning show on a sports talk radio here in Houston too. His football opinions are always pretty good. baseball...not so much

blue said...

how about the #3 pick Akili Smith


great job

El Padrino said...

Trent Dilfer, 6th overall.

Next QB taken came 111 picks after, some fellow by the name of Doug Nussmeier, New Orleans

El Padrino said...

Sorry that was 1994, Heath Shuler went 3rd, Dilfer 6th. Desperation.

El Padrino said...

242-pick
Pittsburgh Steelers



J.T. *Wall

blue said...

"Next QB taken came 111 picks after, some fellow by the name of Doug Nussmeier, New Orleans"


Nussmeier went to.....wait for it....Idaho

at the time he was the top or near the top of career all purpose yards for college football.

blue said...

"He is one of only three quarterbacks in NCAA history to throw for at least 10,000 yards and rush for 1,000 yards (1,230), joining Alcorn State's Steve McNair (1991-94) and Central Florida's Daunte Culpepper (1996-98). "

he was the first to do it...and the only white one ever.

Jugdish said...

Merry Christmas ep

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"he was the first to do it...and the only white one ever."


Good for him.

Jugdish said...

"he was the first to do it...and the only white one ever."


That is something I can tell my kids about. Maybe one day we will even have a white president...maybe.

tem said...

today i learnt at lunch that in 2012 we will all be living in tents and there will be a middle class revolt.

i axed, well what happens to the houses? why can't we just live in them, do they get blown up or fall down?

the dude said, "we will be living in tents."

Jugdish said...

make sure you pick out a nice tent now...save yourself the trouble later.

tem said...

i figure i can go buy a nice 3 room tent and a nice sleeping bag or two.


then in 2012 the girls will be all about casa de tem. i'll tell them the sleeping bags in that room if you want to use it.

i might even find a use for the bedskirt. nothing spruces a tent up like a bed skirt.

2012 will be tem's year for sure.

Jugdish said...

2012...the year of tem

has a nice ring to it.

Your tent could be your own Hote(m)l

blue said...

what will happpen to the houses?

Jugdish said...

we will be living in tents

tem said...

yeah blue, we'll be living in tents.

blue said...

maybe you will, but i'll find me a good house that nobody is living in because they're living in tents.

And i'll ruin your plans because i'll have a house.

Jugdish said...

the house of blue(s)

El Padrino said...

outstanding JUG

blue said...

where does the kegorator go in your 3 room tent? will you have to knock out a wall?

El Padrino said...

"That is something I can tell my kids about. Maybe one day we will even have a white president...maybe."

HI-LA-RITY

Jugdish said...

All of us in tent city will be talking about the weirdo living in the house.

El Padrino said...

i want to buy a condo in Kim K's ass and live happily ever after

Keith S said...

On this day in 1971...

In one of the greatest college fooyball games ever played, the unbeaten No. 1-ranked Nebraska Cornhuskers edged the unbeaten No. 2-ranked Oklahoma Sooners, 35-31

Jugdish said...

i want to buy a condo in Kim K's ass and live happily ever after



you should be able to find a 3 bedroom in there no problem. Watch out for the pool though.

tem said...

blue you can't live in a house, we'll all be living in tents.

tem said...

i did not ask about the possible occupancy of kim k's as. so for now i will allow speculation that one can reside there and not in a tent.

but houses were specifically struck down with the "we will all be living in tents" theory.

Keith S said...

how about the any of the Bangles' picks


*fixed

Keith S said...

David Klingler, Akili Smith, Dan Wilkinson, Ki-Jana Carter. It stings

Keith S said...

"All of us in tent city will be talking about the weirdo living in the house."

We have a tent city here

ns

tem said...

keith's area is 4 years ahead of columbus then.

Keith S said...

Denver International Airport (DIA) is sometimes referred to as 'Tent City' due to its construction using high tension white fabric, intended to represent the Rocky Mountains.

Keith S said...

Lotsa tent cities apparently

tem said...

hmm, maybe this guy isn't crazy then.

spaceman spiff said...

"i want to buy a condo in Kim K's ass and live happily ever after"

might smell

tem said...

also you might have to be wary of reggie's dong coming and going as it pleases.

El Padrino said...

"i want to buy a condo in Kim K's ass and live happily ever after"

might smell"




like newborn babies and gardenia's!

tem said...

newborn babies smell terrible don't they?

blue said...

why does her ass smell like babies?

blue said...

so if we're all living in tents, if we go camping do we stay in houses?

blue said...

tem avoided the kegorator question on purpose

tem said...

i missed the kegorator question.

the kegorator gets its own tent.

Keith S said...

Where do you plug in the microwave?

tem said...

i didn't ask that.

i'll write these questions down in my notepad and ask later.

El Padrino said...

Subprime for dummies (keef, deke)

Keith S said...

Your dumb

El Padrino said...

"Your dumb"

sorry

Cliff notes, Subprime...

Keith S said...

$100 universal remote for $10

Had to get this because fmk lost the remote to the dvd player in our room.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I really want that remote, even though I know I shouldn't buy it.

blue said...

that's an awful looking remote

tem said...

losing remotes sucks.

tem said...

its not like you leave the house* with them, so they can't be far, but yet you can't find them.


*tent in 2012

Keith S said...

"that's an awful looking remote"

I'm not entering it in a beauty pageant

Keith S said...

"its not like you leave the house* with them, so they can't be far, but yet you can't find them."

She thinks she mine* have thrown it away

blue said...

they're all gonna laugh at you

Keith S said...

nooooooooooo

tem said...

picking dallas in the pool this week with the guy who won't do a split pot.

if we lose i am ok with it because he is a douchebag.

tem said...

throwing away the remote seems like not a good idear.

Keith S said...

"picking dallas in the pool this week with the guy who won't do a split pot."

EP, who are you taking this week?

tem said...

EP is taking Denver again.

tem said...

there is a chance the dude is taking tennessee. he picked already so he is probably taking a thursday game, i figure it will be dallas though and not tn or AZ or PHI or DET.

Keith S said...

That's not a good pick

Keith S said...

tn isn't special enough to be capitalized?

spaceman spiff said...

shaun alexander cut

tem said...

i like to mix and match my capitalization.

i do it in accounting too.


hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha that's a CPA joke.

Keith S said...

That was nice of them to cut him after they played in Seattle

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Tem, you missed your Juventus bet

tem said...

damn, i knew i shouldn't have bet soccer.

did you see me hit that 4 team parlay on the NFL?

blue said...

buckeye fans are hopeful

tem said...

should have taken the points instead of the money line. juventus tied 0-0.

tem said...

buckeyes aren't going to a bcs bowl.

El Padrino said...

"EP, who are you taking this week?"

I'm taking your mother out to dinner

Keith S said...

"buckeyes aren't going to a bcs bowl."

Beavers are the wild card

tem said...

even if beavers lose it will be tough.

Keith S said...

"I'm taking your mother out to dinner"

Nice. OG is her favorite

Keith S said...

"even if beavers lose it will be tough."

True. Not sayig they deserve it, but not many schools travel like they do and that's what the bowls are looking for.

tem said...

10 spots.

utah
penn state
usc
acc winner
big east winner
sec winner
big 12 winner

leaves 3 up for grabs and they will probably go to another SEC team and 2 big 12 teams, maybe even Boise St.

buckeyes have a shot, but i don't see it happening even if Or St. loses.

El Padrino said...

"Nice. OG is her favorite"

choke.

Keith S said...

*saying

tem said...

"like they do and that's what the bowls are looking for."


true, you got a shot, but i just don't see it happening.

Keith S said...

"leaves 3 up for grabs and they will probably go to another SEC team and 2 big 12 teams, maybe even Boise St."

Big 12 can't take more than 2

tem said...

really? i thought there was a way they could get 3 in.

Keith S said...

El Snobberino makes me LOL

tem said...

meeting time.

blue said...

"Beavers are the wild card"


and they have to hope that tOSU is a better draw than Boise State, which isn't a stretch to think that.

tem said...

if only 2 big 12 teams can go then OSU has a much better shot than i thought.

Keith S said...

"really? i thought there was a way they could get 3 in."

If Mizzou beats Texas in the Big 12 title game, they get the automatic bid. Then if TT/OU are #1/#2 they play in the title game.
That's the only way

blue said...

SEC and Big-12 have dibs on the at large bids

so if Oregon State loses that leaves one at-large bid left

blue said...

somebody tol' me that there was a new rule that if you didn't participate in your conference championship game, you couldn't play for the national title.

that sounded wrong to me, from past experience, but he said it was a new rule.

Keith S said...

If Oregon State wins, tOSU is out. Big 12 & SEC will definitely get 2. If Beavers lose, the last spot is probably between tOSU/Boise

Keith S said...

"somebody tol' me that there was a new rule that if you didn't participate in your conference championship game, you couldn't play for the national title."

Haven't heard that officially. Just heard talking heads bring it up as an argument.

El Padrino said...

"El Snobberino makes me LOL"

og is terrible and even you know that

El Padrino said...

u hairless goat nut

blue said...

"If Beavers lose, the last spot is probably between tOSU/Boise"

which are both better teams than anyone in the ACC or big least


screw the BCS

blue said...

like i really want to watch Utar destroy pitt again.

or Alabamer beat wake forest

blue said...

hell they're so bad, i don't even know who is going to win those conferences.

Keith S said...

"og is terrible and even you know that"

It was a joke, El Literalholierthennowfoodsnob

El Padrino said...

i grew up around good food

dont hate me for it

Keith S said...

Only thing that sucks about Utah making it is that they don't travel well at all. That Pitt/Utar game was about 50% full.

El Padrino said...

DISCLAIMER:

*i lived on taco bell, denny's, Ci'Ci's pizza and mickey d's while living in florida*

Keith S said...

"i grew up around good food

dont hate me for it"


Don't assume that it's the only food that's edible.

El Padrino said...

meeeting

Keith S said...

So you lived on CiCi's pizza, but Papa John's is terrible. Got it.

Keith S said...

I don't really want to see Oregon State play Penn State again.

Keith S said...

USC/Penn State would be cool. Have they ever played?

Keith S said...

Looks like the last time they played was the Kickoff Classic in 2000

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I could go for Papa John's

Keith S said...

That stuff is garbage and you know it, mize


/ep

Jugdish said...

Tonight I am taking cmjug here for our anniversary.

I've never been, but I do see they have a chicken fried rib eye on the menu, so I am intrigued.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Maybe I'll be a consultant. I'll start putting ads in the local papers for Meiz's Consulting.

Jugdish said...

Why don't you you do something in sports broadcasting?

You always make those interesting comments during games.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"You always make those interesting comments during games."


Now you're just pulling my chain

Keith S said...

Mize's play by play on his vid-e-yos is not good.

blue said...

meiz could be a great color analyst

blue said...

jersey mikes makes a good sub...it must be from the greater metro area


jersey mike's has tastykakes

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"Idiots with nothing better to do"





"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug





"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino





"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino