Thursday, November 06, 2008

If I were to tell you...

that this post was awful, would you believe me?



531 comments:

1 – 200 of 531   Newer›   Newest»
Dirt Whore said...

Another good LOVad last night. There was even a mini-slapper between zeke and deke that was highly entertaining. (Unlike today's post.)

Dirt Whore said...

And meiz, I noticed that when you listed how "bigotry, racism and wildly prejudiced thinking" "chap your ass", you forgot to include sexism...

Steve said...

when was the last time there was a slapper that didn't involve zeke?

Dirt Whore said...

Good point Steve.

Jugdish said...

I read some of that...entertaining.

El Padrino said...

good morning

El Padrino said...

how are you?

Jugdish said...

this is funny:

I'd imagine it has to be a little strange to play for Ryan Leaf. Anytime the coach critiques a player, the kid must be thinking, "Dude, you're Ryan Leaf. What can you tell me about quarterbacking? I was at that game when you went 11-26 with two picks and threw a pass that hit your center in the thigh. And you're telling me to 'keep my wits under pressure.' Just like you did when you flipped out on that reporter, right?"

El Padrino said...

I'm going to ask you a bunch of questions now. I'm going to need you to answer them immediately.

El Padrino said...

who is your daddy? and what does he do?

blue said...

Leaf's QB has actually done pretty well. Leaf was a great college QB, just not so much in the NFL

El Padrino said...

parker dropped a double nickel

El Padrino said...

lebron is just unstoppable
he can easily get 40 a night

easy

blue said...

broncos tonite suite

blue said...

larry brown misses the knicks

blue said...

only 4 players have scored 50+ and handed out 10 assists in one game, over the last 20 years. Two of them were at MSG last night, and both were in street clothes.

El Padrino said...

mj and frazier?

blue said...

MJ was right...starbury was the other one.


i heard that trivia this morning because Parker became the 4th guy to do it, last night

blue said...

it's hard to remember starbury used to be that good.

blue said...

big bossman is wearing way too much cologne today

El Padrino said...

no clue starbury dropped fitty

blue said...

i'm guessing the 50 was with Minny

blue said...

he had 50 and 12 dimes against the lakers in 2001 whilst with the NETS

El Padrino said...

2001 was a long ass time ago

blue said...

lady in the office is dissin on BW2's....said the "service was not very good"

who goes to BW2's for the service?

Jugdish said...

who goes to BW2's for the service?


no shit. I have heard people say the same thing...they get busy sometimes.

blue said...

and on a wednesday night? i usually go to BW2s to sit and watch a game.

blue said...

she acted like it was supposed have service like Morton's or something

it's a sports bar

Jugdish said...

as long as they come by when my beer nears empty I'm happy with that.

blue said...

it's like going to hooters and saying "the food wasn't very good"

blue said...

i went out to dinner last night, and when i ordered a steak, they took a good chunk of steak off of the plate at the table next to me and gave it to me for free...thank you obamer

Dirt Whore said...

i went out to dinner last night, and when i ordered a glass of water cause that's all i could afford cause i was too lazy to work, they took a good chunk of steak off of the plate at the table next to me and gave it to me for free...thank you obamer

*fixed

blue said...

Obamer is having his first de-brief of classified intelligence information today

he's scurred

El Padrino said...

def shittin his pants

def

El Padrino said...

or should i say mos def

Jugdish said...

nice fix beth

Jugdish said...

Obama is not that scared. He is actually surprised how much the list of known terrorists he was given looks like his annual Christmas card list.

Jugdish said...

...or should I say "Happy Holidays" list so I don't offend anyone?

blue said...

his Kwanzaa cards

El Padrino said...

jug bringing the noise

El Padrino said...

no one is acknowledging that obama's mom was as white as the pure snow

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"no one is acknowledging that obama's mom was as white as the pure snow"


That's because everybody would rather pretend that he's a terrorist in disguise.

Jugdish said...

I'm just kidding mize...yeesh!

blue said...

his pops was born in a village in Kenya, and his grandmoms still lives there, she rejoiced

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"I'm just kidding mize...yeesh!"


I know, jug. yeesh.

tem said...

i should read AD, but i am too lazy.

Jugdish said...

mize...in all fairness, he has associated and become friends with at least one known terrorist here in the states. He maintains that friendship today.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"mize...in all fairness, he has associated and become friends with at least one known terrorist here in the states. He maintains that friendship today."



And I don't even care

Jugdish said...

That's like being buddies with Tim McVeigh

blue said...

or Ted Kaczinsky

tem said...

keeps your friends close and your enemies closer...

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Oh well. What's done is done. I'm just satisfied that I can now go back to being just another sheep in the herd. And in 3 years I can act all outraged at failed efforts and make a reactionary vote for whatever Republican is running for office. God Bless America.

Jugdish said...

mize, are you being sarcastic?

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"mize, are you being sarcastic?"


I'm not sure.

blue said...

i think he's being realistic

or smug

or coy

or pecosian

or none of the above

or all of the above

Working towards 2-10 said...

Deke is starting off today like he ended yesterday, he was on fire. He spits Pecosian-Fire.

My new tattoo said...

Any chance Detroit beats J-ville?

Jugdish said...

12%

blue said...

"Any chance Detroit beats J-ville?"

so you're saying there's a chance

My new tattoo said...

Calzaghe might kill Roy Jones

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"Any chance Detroit beats J-ville?"


Its the Culpepper Era. Detroit wins out.

My new tattoo said...

It's not 1994

spaceman spiff said...

"no one is acknowledging that obama's mom was as white as the pure snow"

EP, see my comment from last night: "funny thing about blacks going apeshit over obama is the dude is half white, if he was full black his life would be totally diff and he wouldnt be anywhere near the presidency, he'd be doing the jump shot/crack rock thing. he cant even relate to the giddy blacks, didnt even meet his black(african not african american
) relatives until after college. born in hawaii then to indonesia and back to hawaii where he went to the preppiest high school there, then to the ivy league, how many blacks on the mainland are even close to this, he shits on them"

blue said...

write, and obamer is an educated black man, not the welfare lovin' black folk

My new tattoo said...

What's difference between pure snow and regular snow?

spaceman spiff said...

"That's because everybody would rather pretend that he's a terrorist in disguise."

everybody? bullshit meiz, its so that most can praise him for becoming the first 'black' president.

lebron was like 'now i can tell my kids, you really can become anything now'
ahahahahhaa, lebron's kids arent gonna do shit

blue said...

lebron's kids didn't start out in the hood

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"everybody? bullshit meiz, its so that most can praise him for becoming the first 'black' president"


It was a joke, spiff. jeezaloo.

blue said...

lebron's kids didn't start out in the hood

spaceman spiff said...

"It was a joke, spiff. jeezaloo."

gotcha, but its hard to tell when you take a lot of jokes seriously

ns

Working towards 2-10 said...

Obama ain't gangsta

Tyler said...

"Amaré Stoudemire has been correcting those who call him by his nickname, 'STAT,' lately. He wants to be called 'Sun Tzu' because he has taken to the ancient Chinese commander's writings that lay out how to be a victorious warrior in The Art of War."

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"gotcha, but its hard to tell when you take a lot of jokes seriously"

Yeah, that's my fault. What can I say? Its beyond me.

spaceman spiff said...

costco with a 10MP canon and free 2gig SD card for 200$. only bad thing is the sd card ships separately so probably have to pay 2 shipping charges

JFreak said...

"Any chance Detroit beats J-ville?"

Jags always play to their competition. Be very wary.

spaceman spiff said...

hope amare's ego doesnt get the best of him

Jugdish said...

lebron's kids wont have to do shit



*fixed

Tyler said...

I was just looking at that camera, spiff. Got the same email.

spaceman spiff said...

werent you planning on buying a camera a while back

spaceman spiff said...

i wonder if the deal is also in store, paying shipping sucks

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I can't stop laughing at baby Mangino

Working towards 2-10 said...

"Amaré Stoudemire has been correcting those who call him by his nickname, 'STAT,' lately. He wants to be called 'Sun Tzu' because he has taken to the ancient Chinese commander's writings that lay out how to be a victorious warrior in The Art of War."

Most of Amare's family is incarcerated (NS), I think the Suns will take him talking like a mo-ron instead of being locked up.

Tyler said...

Yeah, I'm still looking to buy something. Like you said, I'd be interested if it's offered in-store cuz paying for shipping sucks.

El Padrino said...

spiff your spot on

El Padrino said...

and i've been getting the funniest racist text messages

El Padrino said...

i love racial jokes, even when they are about me

spaceman spiff said...

baby mangino is the better

Tyler said...

If I was Steve Kerr, and Amare kept putting up lines like 49/11/6/5, I tell him that he can call himself whatever he wants, and would offer to get him a chain with "Sun Tzu" written in diamonds if that's what he wanted.

spaceman spiff said...

freak, you can also use bailey's for car bombs

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"freak, you can also use bailey's for car bombs"


that's gonna get a blank stare

El Padrino said...

'now i can tell my kids, you really can become anything now'

i've seen this like 200 times

excellent point

see: Marhsall, Brandon

says his mama called him and said when you have a kid you can look him in the face and tell him/her they can be whatever they want

El Padrino said...

i agree T

it's like adam sandler letting that little kid do whatever he wanted

"I didn't even tell him to do that"

El Padrino said...

frankenstein aka julius

El Padrino said...

i love movies

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Movies are boring

Tyler said...

Meiz, you've never had a car bomb?

spaceman spiff said...

"Jessica Alba was in New York yesterday filming scenes for, "An Invisible Sign of My Own." She plays a math genius named Mona"

fucking hilarity. she must be in the take 'serious' roles only now mode. ahahaha

blue said...

so's yer face

El Padrino said...

"Jessica Alba was in New York yesterday filming scenes for, "An Invisible Sign of My Own." She plays a math genius named Mona"

lots of movie trailers on Vescey St. this morning, if that was her shoot i will stalk it

El Padrino said...

i relate like 80% of my life to movie scenes

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"Meiz, you've never had a car bomb?"


Of course I have.

Freak's gonna blank stare it

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"i relate like 80% of my life to movie scenes"


This explains everything.

Tyler said...

Oh, got it. Yeah, he might even give is an all caps blank stare.

JFreak said...

guinness cream and whiskey, is that enough of a blank stare for you meiz?

Tyler said...

I almost typed "plank stare", feel free to refer to it as such from now on.

blue said...

::plank stare::

El Padrino said...

jerry rice is gay

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"guinness cream and whiskey, is that enough of a blank stare for you meiz?"



god bless google



also, the fuck is cream?

spaceman spiff said...

bailey;s irish cream

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

So Bailey's, not cream

blue said...

you don't have to use bailey's you can use any irish creme

blue said...

"jerry rice is gay"

this is unbelievable news, i never ever thought that....what's next? you're going to tell me that Steve Young also like the penis?

El Padrino said...

"this is unbelievable news, i never ever thought that....what's next? you're going to tell me that Steve Young also like the penis?"

no i know, i saw this kenny mayne piece for his new show and rice was on with bedazzling looking gems on his face

and a purple suit

strange

El Padrino said...

market down another 360

thank you obama

spaceman spiff said...

"you don't have to use bailey's you can use any irish creme"

freak is in the possession of bailey's thats why i said 'freak, you can also use bailey's for car bombs'

spaceman spiff said...

cnn reports: "at the intellligence briefing this morning, obama was overheard yelling 'Change!' numerous times. It was discovered that he was talking about his underwear. apparently, obama defecated many times out of fear. obama left the briefing visibly SHOOK'

source: republican aide anthony padrino

My new tattoo said...

On this day in 1987...

The 5-foot, 3-inch Washington Bullets rookie guard Muggsy Bogues plaed in his first professional basketball game, becoming the shortest player in NBA history.

kod looks up to him.

El Padrino said...

Let's tax business so they lay off thousands!

YAY!

El Padrino said...

you gotta be real silly to wear this jersey

My new tattoo said...

awesome

My new tattoo said...

He left his Orenthal jersey in the closet

My new tattoo said...

fsilok is a Bills fan, and she wears a goddman Bledsoe jersey. I should get her an OJ jersey for Xmas

My new tattoo said...

I think I'm gonna take the Brow(all)ns tonight.

Working towards 2-10 said...

I took the Browns for a 6 or 7 I think.

blue said...

brady quinn is enrique iglesias' hero

blue said...

brownies s/b greater than < 3pt favorites

My new tattoo said...

Was that intentional?

blue said...

yes, i've been HDH with the backwards < > for a while now

blue said...

it's a fun little rinkle i like to add

My new tattoo said...

NOTE TO LoV...
DON'T USE WADR ANYMORE. IT'S WEAKSAUCE AND IF YOU USE IT, YOU HAVE NO STONES


Regards,

mize

El Padrino said...

i'm alone in the bronco boat

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Keith is blatantly trying to give this day some steam. Its not working.

My new tattoo said...

Maybe I can talk about the new prez being a terrorist. That's popular here.

El Padrino said...

strange but true

obama would not get security clearence to become a DEA agent

FACT.

My new tattoo said...

(s)

My new tattoo said...

EP
He's already won. How long is this going to go on?

El Padrino said...

"Emanuel, a former member of the Clinton administration,"

that's great, just great

El Padrino said...

"EP
He's already won. How long is this going to go on?"

4 years. why? and what do you mean by "this".

My new tattoo said...

He's not even in office yet and you act like he's already ruined the country.

Working towards 2-10 said...

How long is this going to go on?


Bush got kilt daily, so I'm thinking daily.

Working towards 2-10 said...

He's not even in office yet and you act like he's already ruined the country.

ahhh yes, the Dems got their way now its "there's no need to be critical"

gonna need to look at fun fares to Canada.

Working towards 2-10 said...

and in the first two days of his regime he's already making it into Clinton's 3rd term.

CHANGE!

My new tattoo said...

"Bush got kilt daily, so I'm thinking daily."

Here? It was hardly daily.
And like I said, he's not even in office yet. What's he done that he needs to be kilt daily?

Working towards 2-10 said...

this email just went out to our entire company:

"Payroll processed on the 15th of this month will include a 50% reduction in wages for redistribution purposes, Thanks Osama!"

Working towards 2-10 said...

What's he done that he needs to be kilt daily?


well his new staff is all Clin-ton lackey's.

not exactly an inspiring start after he said he'd work for all Americans.

My new tattoo said...

"ahhh yes, the Dems got their way now its "there's no need to be critical""

I know you like to twist things to fit your argument. But at no point did I say there's no need to be critical.

blue said...

i'll take the prosperity for $100 alex

El Padrino said...

sorry keef, forget about the no fact rule when toalking politics

i'm blacked out from tonight's game unless i go to ze bar

Working towards 2-10 said...

if there is one motherfucker in his regime named "omar" or "muhammed" I'm movie* to Me-hi-co.

El Padrino said...

*toalking

drink in boys

a living legend

Working towards 2-10 said...

I know you like to twist things to fit your argument. But at no point did I say there's no need to be critical.

this wasn't directed at you but to the media and any other dem who doesn't want to look at Osama critically.

JFreak said...

EP, you see the LT smacking himself clip?

My new tattoo said...

Is the game on NFLN?

Working towards 2-10 said...

a living legend

tripping* cap

My new tattoo said...

"this wasn't directed at you but to the media and any other dem who doesn't want to look at Osama critically."

Fair enough.

El Padrino said...

"EP, you see the LT smacking himself clip?"

wow, yeah

Working towards 2-10 said...

Miguel* Moore and Jesse Jackson on Larry King last night was outstanding, I would have paid movie ticket prices to watch that.

Working towards 2-10 said...

the LT or LDT?

Working towards 2-10 said...

Jesse Jackson sounds like he's chewing on his tongue when he's talking.

El Padrino said...

jesse jackson

he bangs 16 yearolds and never had a job

he's a piece of shit

My new tattoo said...

TWDIS

Working towards 2-10 said...

I wonder who Bill and Hillary will chose for the higher level cabinet positions.

Working towards 2-10 said...

Fuzzy Zoeller has to be so pissed about the election.

My new tattoo said...

He can name zeke Secretary of Ze Slapper

El Padrino said...

they (black people, 100% black not the jeter kind) are already complaining that he hasn't named any black cabinet members yet

also sayin this was a huge step but there is more civil rights movements ahead, we need to keep moving forward

jesse, al, oprah there is no more north vs south, you guys can cut this out now, you people create racism

Jugdish said...

I heard Colin Powell as the possible Secretary of Edumacation...

Dirt Whore said...

"they (black people, 100% black not the jeter kind) are already complaining that he hasn't named any black cabinet members yet"

It'd be pretty funny if Bush had more black cabinet members than Obama.

Working towards 2-10 said...

TI for Defense Secretary

do it Osama, DO IT

Jugdish said...

I was upset there haven't been more people of Irish decent opn the cabinet. My people have gone without long enough!!

Working towards 2-10 said...

My people have gone without long enough!!

history making regime my ass, Osama be racist, you.

Working towards 2-10 said...

I wonder when the Executive Order for every citizen having to wear Dashiki's comes out?

My new tattoo said...

"jesse, al, oprah there is no more north vs south, you guys can cut this out now, you people create racism"

word

JFreak said...

"the LT or LDT?"

the LT.

Working towards 2-10 said...

Air Force 1 will now be called Air Jordan 1

Working towards 2-10 said...

how long until the white house shows up on MTV Cribs?

1 month after he's sworn in?

spaceman spiff said...

"already complaining that he hasn't named any black cabinet members yet"

hilarity

Working towards 2-10 said...

goodbye Bald Eagle, hello Fried Chicken as our national bird.

Working towards 2-10 said...

he crip walks into the white house the first time right?

El Padrino said...

one of my text messages:

EVERYONE IS TO REPORT TO THE COTTON FIELDS TOMMORROW MORNING, 7AM. ORIENTATION!

El Padrino said...

Kool-Aid is now tax exempt.

Working towards 2-10 said...

I've had to fake cough to cover the LOL from EP's last two comments.

ns

El Padrino said...

"It's weird to see a black man promising change. Usually they are in the streets begging for it."

Working towards 2-10 said...

So Osama is never allowed to go into a swimming pool right? Can't have the prez drown on us.

El Padrino said...

"Rose garden at the white house is now a watermelon patch."

Working towards 2-10 said...

"Rose garden at the white house is now a watermelon patch."

holy jeebus this is hilarity

My new tattoo said...

Awesome, mize's time masheen took us back to 1900

Working towards 2-10 said...

bilateral negiotiations will now be games of 21 and you must hit the 3 to win.

tem said...

"jerry rice is gay"

don't tell his wife or 3 kids, they are really committed to the lie that he is straight.

El Padrino said...

they are just jokes keef
relax

Jugdish said...

White house limos will now have chrome spinners

tem said...

"market down another 360

thank you obama"

stop it. you know it would have gone down if mccain got elected.

the market goes up before the election and down afterwards.

El Padrino said...

and they are not mine, i'm getting bombarded with them via text messages (no, not from peter king)

Working towards 2-10 said...

Grape Soda will be served at all State Dinners at the white house, no exceptions or substitutions please.

iammebeingme said...

"bilateral negiotiations will now be games of 21 and you must hit the 3 to win."

hilarity. 1900, absolutely.. but still making me laugh.

El Padrino said...

"stop it. you know it would have gone down if mccain got elected."

false, initial reaction it would have gone up, wall street likes free trade and business dont like getting taxed

if it went down it would have been for other reasons

tem said...

"fun fares to Canada"

fun in canada means gay.

El Padrino said...

who doesnt love a good racial joke

El Padrino said...

"Obama wanted to know where do all the white women be at."

El Padrino said...

"Included in the free health care plan are gold fronts."

Working towards 2-10 said...

"Included in the free health care plan are gold fronts."

hilarity

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