Thursday, October 02, 2008

Ugh.

You're not gonna read this anyway.



Goddman it bartman, just go away. I don't need you infecting the rest of the pitching staff with the walking disease. You're ruining everything. Just let Cubs fans die in misery. Don't get our hopes up. We've been crushed too many times before.

Bosox won, Phillies won. Whoopie and all that mularkey. Freaking seven walks in 4 2/3.

I might just bump draft a few cars on the drive up to Chicago today. See if I can cause a crash or two.

MLTC: 3-1 now after Clemson's loss. This week, I'm going with UNC beating #24 UCONN. The huskies' QB is sick or injured or dying or something, and they're sending in a ND reject. Clearly if he couldn't make it at ND, he sucks balls. Plus, someone said UNC is good.

One of my favorite FJM articles to date.

yeah, whatever.

610 comments:

1 – 200 of 610   Newer›   Newest»
The Rev said...

You're getting me first today. HAH!

The Rev said...

This is why Cubs fans are so lame.

Who gives a rats ass about Steve Bartman anymore?

Jugdish said...

Don't let freak give all Cubs fans a bad name.

...and good morning Rev!

Jugdish said...

iam finally sold his house

Beth said...

Damn, morning Rev, what's the occasion?

Beth said...

Oh wait, the Phillies won, THAT'S the occasion. How silly of me to even ask...

Jugdish said...

World's fattest man is getting married...check out some of these pictures

Jugdish said...

Vlad Guerrero should never try to be taking extra bases...slow bastard.

I love Gollum said...

inspired post freak

I love Gollum said...

why jug, why

I love Gollum said...

manny is so awesome it's just not even fair, he has to be the greatest righthanded hitter of our generation

better than poo-holes

Jugdish said...

better than poo-holes



tough one, but interesting debate

Jugdish said...

why jug, why



After I saw it and suffered, I thought I would share.

Beth said...

"After I saw it and suffered, I thought I would share."

I was curious to see his fiance, but then after I did I couldn't help but wonder if they'd ever be able to have sex, and then unwanted images filled my head.

At that point I was also asking "why jug why?"

Jugdish said...

I was curious to see his fiance, but then after I did I couldn't help but wonder if they'd ever be able to have sex, and then unwanted images filled my head.



I didn't want to take it that far, I was just wondering how they heck they met if he couldn't even leave the house. I imagine there is a lot of dry humping involved.

blue said...

did he eat the baby?

blue said...

he's unhappy because he eats, but he eats because he's unhappy...it's a vicious cycle

I love Gollum said...

the blue turf in HD is wonderful

tem said...

i bet she can't even find his penis.

tem said...

they met because she was his maid.

blue said...

bgblue loves the color blue, so she watches jeopardy because the screen is blue a lot, and she loved watching the football game last night.

she was mesmorized.

I love Gollum said...

yup, color stimulates

blue said...

little known factoid...blue actually played in one of the first games ever on the blue turf....pop-warner jamboree before the season started.

I love Gollum said...

my SI tells me Tony Romo is of mexican descent

HAHAHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

blue said...

i'm getting really sick of this chick here and her woe is me stories about her husband's skin cancer...it's not real cancer

blue said...

and now she needs to go home everyday at 3 because she needs to be home for her 14 year old son when he gets home from school.

14, the kid is 14.

tem said...

i thought at 7 you could leave them home alone.

fucker is 14, he can be alone all day.

unless he is autistic. then you call jenny up and get her and her tittays around to cure it.


actually come to think of it, i am autistic. what's jenny's number??

Beth said...

Either he's "special needs", she doesn't trust him at all or she's one of those incredibly annoying overprotective moms. Does she drive a mini-van by any chance?

Beth said...

"what's jenny's number??"

867-5309

tem said...

that was a good one.

tem said...

people with a minivan and just 1 kid make me laugh.

blue said...

she's special needs, i think

blue said...

she can't afford a minivan

Beth said...

people with a minivan make me laugh.

*fixed

blue said...

special needs people make me laugh

*fixed

I love Gollum said...

fosset plane found, no body

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I'm in a shit mood today

tem said...

what's a fosset plane?

tem said...

a new street gang has risen in florida.

it is a bunch of blondes who wear nothing but overalls. they drop the overalls, distract men and steal their money.

I love Gollum said...

Fosset plane

Jugdish said...

My favorite part of that article is this:


"We're not certain that it belongs to Steve Fossett, but it certainly has his name on the I.D." said Mammoth Lakes Police Chief Randy Schienle.

blue said...

"they drop the overalls, distract men and steal their money"

this just sounds like a mobile strip club. I mean the only thing missing is some 80's butt-rock music.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Goddammit. And a Swedish girl saves the day. I should ask her for a fuck.

Jugdish said...

more mess

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"a new street gang has risen in florida..."


Bullshit. I want proof.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I bought headphones last night.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I can't stand pretty girls that dress & act all fucking frumpy and shit. Bitch, you've got it made. Change your fucking tune.

JFreak said...

I feel like I'm going to a funeral today.

blue said...

cubs should order a "black-out" for the game

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Freak should dress up as Bartman

blue said...

our receptionist has great tits, some days she shows them off, others she hides her pups.

today, showing them off.

Jugdish said...

Blue...cell phone pic?

make it happen

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Blue, I really need to work in your office. Make it happen.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

It was a valiant effort

I love Gollum said...

random rev comments made my day

blue said...

"Blue...cell phone pic?"

i don't know how to shut the flash off of my cellphone, until i figure that out, the cell ninja is dead.

Jugdish said...

i don't know how to shut the flash off of my cellphone, until i figure that out, the cell ninja is dead.


Its under your camera options...come on blue, don't hold out on us.

spaceman spiff said...

"Dikembe Meiztombo said...

FYI, if thee Brewers can't win it this year, I'm pulling for the Angels."

so thats what happened last night

S

spaceman spiff said...

fucking angels cant touch the sux in the postseason

spaceman spiff said...

vlade needs a CAT scan after that 1st to 3rd 'attempt'. either that or his relative was kidnapped and being held hostage and the nappers had money on the game

spaceman spiff said...

fuck ellsbury, someone needs to scalp that injun

Jugdish said...

That was a horrible run by Vlad...he looks like he is 70 rounding the bases like that.


...and freak, what is up with Fukudome in the 2 spot?

blue said...

Lou thought fukudome was a solid defensive replacement

blue said...

hmm, no aitch today

Beth said...

"hmm, no aitch today"

It'd be too obvious if he showed in the morning, so it'll be this afternoon probably.

spaceman spiff said...

H will probably show up after the series is over

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Sorry Tem, the people at AXE are brilliant. Chocolate scented cologne-type stuff is genius.

Jugdish said...

H is late on his bills. He ended up calling himself at work to get himself to pay his bills on time and he has been arguing with himself for the last two weeks.

Its an endless loop.

Jugdish said...

Chocolate scented cologne-type stuff is genius.



Gonna get the fat girls after ya.

I love Gollum said...

dal giving 17

blue said...

17 is a lot of points

I love Gollum said...

damn straight
bengals are awful but hot damn

blue said...

no carson palmer though...makes them even more awful

blue said...

rumor has it that yesterday when Travis Henry got busted, he took off running from the DEA guy...the agent chased him down and tackled him.

The broncos are talking about bringing in the DEA agent for a tryout.

I love Gollum said...

"no carson palmer though...makes them even more awful"

he keeps saying he's playing

Keith S said...

"I feel like I'm going to a funeral today."

Goddman Cubs fans are the worse. fmk was whining all night about them losing. Jesus Chris, it's a best of 5 series.

blue said...

after getting swept last year, cubs fans know what's coming

Keith S said...

Jesus Chris is Jesus Christ's 2nd cousin

I love Gollum said...

fmk is a cub fan?

where did you people find girls that are interested in sports?

I love Gollum said...

fmk should be fmas

btw
omg
lol
lmc
twss

Keith S said...

"fmk is a cub fan?
where did you people find girls that are interested in sports?"

She's from Chicago. Cubs & Bears fan. I don't agree with it, but at least she watches sports

Jugdish said...

Bears fan...good find keef!

I love Gollum said...

"but at least she watches sports"

i kind of like that mine hates it
nice alone time

blue said...

this just in...manny can rake

Keith S said...

"this just in...manny can rake"

Of course he can. He's mexican

blue said...

"i kind of like that mine hates it
nice alone time"

i kind of agree...i get annoyed when cmblue wants to watch a game with me and axes lots of questions like "why does jay cutler suck"

Keith S said...

"i kind of like that mine hates it
nice alone time"

I don't mean she watches everything that's on. But if I turn a game on, she doesn't bitch about it.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I don't know if I prefer the sports fan or the non-sports fan

blue said...

"Of course he can. He's mexican"

isn't he dominican?

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"Gonna get the fat girls after ya."


All bitches love chocolate.

Keith S said...

"isn't he dominican?"

Tomato, tomahto

Jugdish said...

All bitches love chocolate.


Yeah, but the fat ones chase the guys that smell like it. That's common sense Deke.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"Yeah, but the fat ones chase the guys that smell like it. That's common sense Deke."


Not when you're trolling for pussy at the bar. You can be selective in that situation.

Jugdish said...

Beth...a chubby guy walks up to you in a bar smelling of chocolate.

Your reaction is?

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Whiter Shade Of Pale is a damn solid tune.

I love Gollum said...

"I don't mean she watches everything that's on. But if I turn a game on, she doesn't bitch about it."

understood. when i put it on she leaves the room. it's awesome

isiah thomas said...

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Freak - IN DE FACE!

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"Beth...a chubby guy walks up to you in a bar smelling of chocolate.

Your reaction is?"


She's hammered and the pudgy guy buys her a drink and a few shots...bango.

isiah thomas said...

Beth...a chubby guy walks up to you in a bar smelling of chocolate.

Your reaction is?

"five dollars for me to touch my toes, 6 dollars for you to touch me while I touch my toes, 10 for a bj, 12 for a hj and 15 for a zj"

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"understood. when i put it on she leaves the room. it's awesome"


I have that too. She used to feign interest in football at first, but now she fucking hates it. The only downfall is that I used to get beejers during football games - not any more.

Keith S said...

Awesome, Beverly Hills Ninja is on



s

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"five dollars for me to touch my toes, 6 dollars for you to touch me while I touch my toes, 10 for a bj, 12 for a hj and 15 for a zj"


I'd pay the 15 for the zj.

blue said...

bj's don't exist, they're like santa clause, you get excited for them and they only come once a year.

I love Gollum said...

"I have that too. She used to feign interest in football at first, but now she fucking hates it. The only downfall is that I used to get beejers during football games - not any more."

wow, beejers during football, that's impressive and heavenly

isiah thomas said...

wow, beejers during football, that's impressive and heavenly

remember the source of said info EP.

Pecos

Jugdish said...

Were you eating too? That is the trifecta!

Jugdish said...

remember the source of said info EP.



maybe it was from Deluxe

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"bj's don't exist, they're like santa clause, you get excited for them and they only come once a year."


Great. I can't wait to get married.

isiah thomas said...

Great. I can't wait to get married.


if Osama gets elected you'll be able to do it legally.

isiah thomas said...

I feel like the Dodgers hitters yesterday, just smacking shit out of the park.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"wow, beejers during football, that's impressive and heavenly"


I've determined that it was the only way she could get any attention on Sundays.

I love Gollum said...

"I've determined that it was the only way she could get any attention on Sundays."

yeah now i'm not sure i beleive you

blue said...

was this suring half-time or mid-game...because if it's mid-game that could interfere with the football watching

tem said...

topless gang

tem said...

sfw, just an article

I love Gollum said...

wth

blue said...

that's a very pecosian story

tem said...

" beejers "

i thought he just mispelt beers

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"yeah now i'm not sure i beleive you"


I don't need you to believe me.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"was this suring half-time or mid-game...because if it's mid-game that could interfere with the football watching"


mid-game

Jugdish said...

just ask deluxe

spaceman spiff said...

eltardo manny article up

Deluxe said...

"just ask deluxe"


ask your mother

Jugdish said...

deluxe is always good for a few mother jokes.

Deluxe said...

I just figured I always read this blog, I might as well chime in every now and then.

Jugdish said...

stop it deluxe. we all know deke is reading this to you.

I love Gollum said...

your really a red sox fan?

Jugdish said...

Can we have a special "Ask Deluxe" mailbag?

Deluxe said...

Hard for him to read it to me when I'm an hour and a half away from him.

Deluxe said...

fucking imposter deluxe

Deluxe said...

quit impostering me

Deluxe said...

you know CC is going be CC tonight, but we need some offense tonight. Come on Crew!

Deluxe said...

"quit impostering me"


Funny

Jugdish said...

Deluxe is like agent smith in the matrix.

Deluxe said...

I wonder what kind of stuff Palin will say in the VP debate tonight that will get spoofed on SNL.

blue said...

great, there's two doucheluxe's now

Deluxe said...

I actually work with a guy that looks like agent smith.

Deluxe said...

I am the one and only.

blue said...

so you're admitting you're a douche?

Jugdish said...

what does deluxe #2 do for work?

tem said...

"Hard for him to read it to me when I'm an hour and a half away from him."


he could call you and read it over the phone.

jeez a lou.

blue said...

no way, then meiz would approach 500 minutes on his cell plan

Deluxe said...

"so you're admitting you're a douche?"

I could be a dick and say that I have something in common with one, being in your mothers snatch.

Deluxe said...

"what does deluxe do for work?"


*fixed

Technical support for a large Automation company.

I love Gollum said...

i like how bud gets poured out and wasted in clubhouse celebrations

makes sense

blue said...

yes, you have a lot in common with a douche

the vinegary smell, the fact you're a douche.

Deluxe said...

Bud tastes nasty.

isiah thomas said...

why did Deke morph into his deluxe persona?

Deluxe said...

you're always trying to start shit.

tem said...

yeah, where is deke? why are him and deluxe never communicating on here?

Jugdish said...

Where did you get the name deluxe?

Deluxe said...

Oh well, I'm in a good mood today, got our new place and soon I won't have to be cleaning up after dirty, messy roommates anymore.

blue said...

your always starting shit

*fixed

blue said...

" soon I won't have to be cleaning up after dirty, messy roommates anymore."

don't lie, you know she makes a mess

Deluxe said...

"Where did you get the name deluxe?"

Going way back to like 5th grade, this buddy of mine always called me Sdunny D (last name is Sdun). When I got a little older, maybe 8th grade, my sister just started calling me D, which turned into Deluxe. She has called me that ever since.

Jugdish said...

So it has nothing to do with Mayo, lettuce, tomatoes, and other fixins?

isiah thomas said...

do you have any remorse for Deke's anoos as you ravage him from the backside?

Deluxe said...

"don't lie, you know she makes a mess"


we have been living with 2 friends who got married back in june (he moved in when they got married). We couldn't break the lease so it is finally up and we can get out of there. It's not even so much that they don't do your standard house cleaning but they are slobs and never clean up after themselves. ie, crumbs everywhere, shit piled up on the kitchen table, I don't even think they know where our trash dumpsters are outside.

Deluxe said...

"do you have any remorse for Deke's anoos as you ravage him from the backside?"


Deke's anoos is his own business.

Jugdish said...

They shit on the kitchen table?

blue said...

Meiz didn't tell us he got married in June

isiah thomas said...

in your clan of friends, is deke the whipping boy?

isiah thomas said...

what's the best "deke being lazy" story you've got?

Deluxe said...

"So it has nothing to do with Mayo, lettuce, tomatoes, and other fixins?"


nada, that does remind me that it's just about time for lunch though.

Jugdish said...

late lunch for jug at BW2s...coincidentally there is a White Sox game on at the same time.

isiah thomas said...

would you drink a 24oz can of sperm everyday if you could be invisible?

Deluxe said...

"in your clan of friends, is deke the whipping boy?"

nah, Deke is my homeboy, always will be.

isiah thomas said...

did George Karl also offer you a contract or just deke?

Deluxe said...

"would you drink a 24oz can of sperm everyday if you could be invisible?"


never!

isiah thomas said...

is deke as angry as real life as he is on here?

I love Gollum said...

"When the Mets collapsed for the third straight season last week"

what third?
one strike away from WS is not collapsing

Jugdish said...

nah, Deke is my homeboy, always will be.



that was a nice moment

isiah thomas said...

does deke lie a lot around you guys?

isiah thomas said...

if the coach had kept him in, would you guys have won state?

Jugdish said...

That one strike sure did "look" good though!

isiah thomas said...

that was a nice moment



"on a very special LOV....."

Deluxe said...

"what's the best "deke being lazy" story you've got?"


I wouldn't say he's lazy.

Jugdish said...

Does deke really drink all that vodka, or is he more like the tjw of Wisconsin?

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I was on lunch, fuckers

Deluxe said...

"does deke lie a lot around you guys?"

Not at all. He's straight up.

isiah thomas said...

thinking back to when you guys were growing up playing back yard hoops, was deke playing man-to-man d "extra" close?

I love Gollum said...

fucking red sock fans, how soon they forget they were winless in 80-something years, all of a sudden on a good run and they denounce every other franchise as if they are always the team to beat

Deluxe said...

"if the coach had kept him in, would you guys have won state?"


The golf team might have had a shot if the coach wasn't a fuck.

I love Gollum said...

i learnt thaty Pecos and Deke are tow totally different people

isiah thomas said...

fucking red sock fans, how soon they forget they were winless in 80-something years, all of a sudden on a good run and they denounce every other franchise as if they are always the team to beat

the moral of the story, as always, is, FUCK BOSTON.

never forget

I love Gollum said...

"thinking back to when you guys were growing up playing back yard hoops, was deke playing man-to-man d "extra" close?"

hilarity

I love Gollum said...

fuckyou aitch
your a piece of dogshit

Deluxe said...

"Does deke really drink all that vodka, or is he more like the tjw of Wisconsin?"

He loves his vodka.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I fucking missed it

Jugdish said...

Deke's high school had a mini golf team?

blue said...

deluxe likes to see meiz in his knickers

Deluxe said...

"thinking back to when you guys were growing up playing back yard hoops, was deke playing man-to-man d "extra" close?"


no, he hated playing b-ball against me. I'm a hack.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"i learnt thaty Pecos and Deke are tow totally different people"


Wha?

blue said...

did you enjoy it when meiz got his tongue pierced?

isiah thomas said...

Did deke ever suggest that you guys play "tummy sticks" when you'd spend the night at his crib growing up?

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"no, he hated playing b-ball against me. I'm a hack."

False. I, like everybody else, love swatting your trash into next week.

isiah thomas said...

have you and deke ever "crossed streams"?

Jugdish said...

Does deke masturbate with pizza hut pizza like White Goodman?

isiah thomas said...

Is Pep really deke's nemesis, or is it obesity?

isiah thomas said...

old

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