Tuesday, October 14, 2008

just die, Joe Buck

The title just continues the "just die" week. I don't have much hatred to spew towards Joe Buck because he is a worthless piece of crap. Not even human crap either. He is like fly crap. Crap nobody should ever think about. How he keeps his job is beyond me. Actually how he stays alive is beyond me. Thousands of crazy people and he hasn't angered one enough to get attacked??? How can that be? I'm not saying you should go kill him, I'm just saying that I wouldn't be heartbroken and that my LCS watching experience would be better.

Now, John Madden, you are a fat cry baby. He doesn't want to make 3 cross country trips in a row, so he isn't calling the Seattle at Tampa Bay game. What a wuss. He needs to choke on one of those turkey legs at Thanksgiving. I don't want him to die from it, just mess up his throat enough so that he can't do any games at all. Really the moron just needs to man up and fly.

Although that brings up another question of mine. Why can't he just call the game from his living room couch? He can see the game on TV, he can tell me what's going on just as well as he can when he is sitting in the press box watching it on TV. Don't even pretend he isn't watching that thing on a TV screen. Just let him call the game from the studio. Hell if we did this then Gus Johnson could call every game.

This is a quick "way to go to Manny." Damn he is killing the ball. Wow. Too bad that your pitchers keep throwing meatball pitches for Matt Stairs to crush.

Another quick "way to go Browns." With one game you brought all the Cleveland fans out of the woodwork. People are already talking about how they will make the playoffs and be a force. Derek Anderson is awesome again and "just wait until Winslow comes back from that nut problem!" I'm not saying Cleveland fans are band wagoners, because that isn't really how it is. They are just really quiet when their team is down and really noisy when it is not. They are still fans during the quiet times though. They keep up with the team and they root for them and go to the games, they are just quiet about it. I think that makes them non band wagoners. But nonetheless they are annoying because seriously. Stop it. Cleveland is not going to run the table. They aren't that bad, they aren't that good. They are who we thought they were....just like Eli. Nice throws. And way to try to get those balls Burress. Think you could maybe try to go get one of those??

Halloween Costume Ideas:
1) Swim cap, goggles, speedos, 8 gold medals = Michael Phelps.
2) USA track suit, white wig, mustache, horrible accent = Bela Karolyi (the gymnast coach, ain't no way in hell I am looking up how to spell his name, I'm close, I might be right even, but that's what you get)
3) Brown sweat pants, brown sweat shirt, big brown shoes = Big Brown or a Kangaroo, your call. Throw in a limp in you want to be Big Brown, hop around if you want to be a Kangaroo.
4) for the guys; normal clothes, apron and an iron = Iron Man. Some dumb chick will think it is hilarious and you can score with her. Hopefully she looks good enough.
5) black face paint, fake beard, black eye = Kimbo Slice. For added effect lay face down on the floor most of the night.

tem movie review:

Saw V

How it ought to be: Danny Glover comes back from the dead. That's right. Murtaugh doesn't die that easy. No way, no how is he an inept cop. He tracks down the bad guy or girl or gorilla or whatever it is and beats the shit out of it. He pistol whips it and says something really funny or cool. Preferably something of the "its been revoked" ilk. Also during the movie Danny's family gets kidnapped and his house gets destroyed, but everyone is OK and he never seems too worried about it.

How it is: Some freak dude or chick or gorilla kills some people and some lame ass cop tries to figure out what is going on. They figure it out and then at the end we find out that the cop was totally wrong. Then some goofy ass music plays.

523 comments:

1 – 200 of 523   Newer›   Newest»
blue said...

great halloween ideas tem.

tem said...

i am smrt.

My job is a scam! said...

Gas is dropping...saw it for 2.95 this morning.

blue said...

i also like wrapping up in a white sheet with a white tail and going as sperm...very easy costume

El Padrino said...

"cleveland browns, FUCK YEA

EP
splain"

I was under the impression that the defense made the road trip. Apparently they did not.

blue said...

yes we're nearing the 3.00 mark here now...it's like 3.05...

3.00 is a pyschological number, much like 10K for the Dow.

blue said...

"I was under the impression that the defense made the road trip. Apparently they did not."

and they replaced eli, with eli

tem said...

"Gas is dropping"

2.79 here.

tem said...

and if you use your grocery store discounts it is more like 2.59 or 2.49.

El Padrino said...

"1) Swim cap, goggles, speedos, 8 gold medals = Michael Phelps."

this kid i know is doing this and going to atlantic city

gonna be hilarious

blue said...

wow .20 to .30 ¢ for grocery card? we only get 10 ¢

El Padrino said...

"and they replaced eli, with eli"

plax blamed for one
other two were bad

let's relax for a minute, first road loss since week one of last year

tem said...

"wow .20 to .30 ¢ for grocery card? we only get 10 ¢"

it is usually 10 cents for every $50 you spend in the store. but right now "for a limited time" it is 20 cents for every $50 you spend in the store.

the "for a limited time" special has been going on for over a year.

El Padrino said...

and i'm glad they got the hiccups out of thier system, especially vs a AFC team

no worries, i didnt expect them to win every game

tem said...

so pretty much you get 20 cents off every time.

i mean, i even spend $50 at the grocery store every 2 weeks. there are probably some families out there getting a buck off a gallon. kids eat like fucking locust.

El Padrino said...

browns on the road >>>>>> rams in your own house

El Padrino said...

nice post tem

the iron man is hilarious

blue said...

tem's grocery stores are better than mine

El Padrino said...

ohio grocery stores are the best

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Wow. I'm doing the Iron Man thing.

Awesome.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Gas is still over $3 here.

Our grocery store gas discount only corks for certain items each week.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"no worries, i didnt expect them to win every game"


It was in the back of your mind.

tem said...

yeah ohio grocery stores rock.

i didn't know.

blue said...

we get 10¢ if we spend $100 during the month, not all at one time.

But, i doesn't compound, so you can get multiple 10¢ off, but you can't get 20¢ off all at once

tem said...

number of people who have asked me what is wrong with Winslow:

4.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

NEW PENDING TRADE TIN THE SHITTY LEAGUE:


Marvin Harrison for Lee Evans and Sammy Morris.


So, Marvin for Evans

blue said...

tem,
what is wrong with Winslow?


5

tem said...

20 cents for every $50. easy money.

one old dude in front of me in line one day had 4 dollars off his gas. (per gallon)

tem said...

winslow's nuts are swollen.

tem said...

omnibus has something about vince young up. is that new?

blue said...

did they pay him back, like he got a rebate?

tem said...

i don't know what happens when he goes and gets gas. he was old and i don't think he even had a car.

i think he just pays $0 and the rest rolls over to next time he uses the card.

tem said...

vid e o link probably linked before. i don't care

My job is a scam! said...

NEW PENDING TRADE TIN THE SHITTY LEAGUE:



I think Deke is offering up these trades himself in that league.

My job is a scam! said...

Tem...what's wrong with big brown?

tem said...

he hurt his foot.

Steve said...

What grocery stores are ya'll using?

I've never heard anything like a gas card around here?

My job is a scam! said...

I've never heard anything like a gas card around here?


Its part of Obama's plan for change. "Free gas for the common man." He is testing it in Ohio.

tem said...

Giant Eagle.

Kroger.

tem said...

giant eagle fuel perks

My job is a scam! said...

These radio phone scams have sucked lately...I might have to change stations.

tem said...

web site says 10 cents, but it is 20 here.

tem said...

damn near 10:30am and no tits.

I am saddened.

tem said...

shaun alexander to skins says wwl.

why not indy? don't they need a RB right now?

My job is a scam! said...

she had a few beers last night...she is sleeping off the hangover right now.

blue said...

why do the skins want him...isn't CP leading the league in rushing?

tem said...

i don't know why the skins would want him.

wwl says dumb things. teams do dumb things.

blue said...

well Jim Zorn was with the seahawks as their QB coach, so he saw how shitty Alexander was last year first hand...i'm guess that excited him to sign him and destroy the skins season

blue said...

maybe since the skins lost to the rams, they're in full panic mode

tem said...

maybe they got deke's time masheen

tem said...

and they are going to put alexander in it and get 4 to 5 years ago alexander.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I love when people come in and assume that their method is going to make it easier for me.

Uh no, dumbass. I do this for 40 hours every week. I'm pretty sure I've got it down pat.

My job is a scam! said...

at least they are trying Deke

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"I think Deke is offering up these trades himself in that league."

Except not.

tem said...

i think they do it just to piss off deke.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"What grocery stores are ya'll using?

I've never heard anything like a gas card around here?"


Piggly Wiggly

Pick N Save

My job is a scam! said...

I know I would

My job is a scam! said...

piggly wiggly...I haven't seen one of those in awhile.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

The Pig is the worst.

El Padrino said...

are we naming supermarkets now

tem said...

maybe.

El Padrino said...

fuck
gotta re-boot

tem said...

never heard of those two.

NYC has the better names for stores.

tem said...

i need headphones with a longer wire.

My job is a scam! said...

or wireless

spaceman spiff said...

"why do the skins want him...isn't CP leading the league in rushing?"

portis gets gassed during games, and he prone to injury. the #2 back betts got hurt last week and since back #3 is just a life special teamer, zorn probly wants to see what alexander can do since he already knows the offense. basically, theyre screwed if portis gets hurt

Beth said...

"damn near 10:30am and no tits.
I am saddened"

Don't worry, I've been lurking. It's just been a busy work morning around here, or to put it in terms LOV can understand: TPS has knocked me around today the way the Browns knocked the Giants around last night.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

zzzzing!

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I want some muthafuckin popcorn right now.

tem said...

i thought beth didn't work on tuesdays?

tem said...

or is it she doesn't work at the law firm on tuesdays, but she "works" on tuesdays?

Keith S said...

"I was under the impression that the defense made the road trip. Apparently they did not."

It's karma for you laughing at my pick

Keith S said...

"shaun alexander to skins says wwl."

temfast

Steve said...

Goddammit!

My job is a scam! said...

You can do some sudoku puzzles to off set that steve

Keith S said...

True. And you don't even have to know how to spell to do sudoku

Beth said...

"i thought beth didn't work on tuesdays?"

I have no idea where this rumor came from.

Keith S said...

Roy Williams, Houshmazilli, Braylon, and Vincent Jackson are available in the keeper league. I need a RB

Keith S said...

Piss hands

isiah thomas said...

zeke
Looks like the Pickup Artist is being taped in the S-dizzle

no shit?

My job is a scam! said...

I like that he calls diapers nappies, and he calls piss wee.

isiah thomas said...

"1) Swim cap, goggles, speedos, 8 gold medals = Michael Phelps."

this kid i know is doing this and going to atlantic city

gonna be hilarious

if a big guy like Fathead did this, it would be hilarious.

Keith S said...

I like that his son is 3 and still wearing a diaper

Keith S said...

"no shit?"

I watched the beginning last night. It said Phoenix, but it looked like north Scottsdale

isiah thomas said...

browns on the road >>>>>> rams in your own house

agreed, but the Gints lose negated the Skins loss.

Keith S said...

Coach Marvin Lewis said he shares that frustration and feels responsible, adding he hopes fans will wait patiently for a turnaround.


Well Marvin, you kind of are responsible. And how long does it take for a turnaround? 20 years? 30 years?

Keith S said...

mize's FNBA team name is hilarity

My job is a scam! said...

he hopes fans will wait patiently for a turnaround.



I'd worry about the owner more than the fans.

Tyler said...

I have six fantasy football teams. I have Carson Palmer in three leagues and Tony Romo in two other leagues. It's been an awesome year.

Tyler said...

"mize's FNBA team name is hilarity"

It is. But it may have crossed the line. Good work though.

My job is a scam! said...

Does Rev move up in the death pool with each Phillies win?

My job is a scam! said...

What is his team name?

Keith S said...

"But it may have crossed the line."

OK steve

isiah thomas said...

Who's doing the "Tribute to Fathead" post after the Rays win the WS over the Phils and Fathead kicks the bucket?

My job is a scam! said...

Who's doing the "Tribute to Fathead" post after the Rays win the WS over the Phils and Fathead kicks the bucket?


Make him write his own now...

Keith S said...

"What is his team name"


Blues sexy daughter

Keith S said...

Which is probably in retaliation for blue's team name "meiz's man boobs"

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

interesting

My job is a scam! said...

Blue is out today working on that restraining order.

isiah thomas said...

great post tem, nice work

My job is a scam! said...

Kitna on IR...the Lions are screwed now.

isiah thomas said...

nice name deke

Keith S said...

Matt Stairs home run should almost count for two.


Stop it, rev

My job is a scam! said...

I don't think its a good thing that Lidge hasn't blown a save yet this year...at least not for Rev.

I watched Lidge down here in Houston and he is capable of blowing a save in a big way. He is due, and he always makings innings more interesting than you would like.

Tyler said...

I tried to give the B.S. report some run today. I really tried. But I had to stop it, on account of all the gayness.

Tyler said...

The room was starting to spin, real fast...

Tyler said...

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blue said...

i don't mind that name...my daughter is 10 months old...if that's what turns you on, more power to ya

blue said...

premature wall

Keith S said...

His wall was 10 minutes. You don't count your own comments if you're just talking to yourself

Tyler said...

Keef is probably going to call me Tyfast, but Highschool football game: 91-0

blue said...

that's not the rules..

who are you ed hochuli

Keith S said...

cumler

Steve said...

Kudos To McCain

[ns]

My job is a scam! said...

I don't know why Rome calls his hair lettuce.

El Padrino said...

"agreed, but the Gints lose negated the Skins loss."

fine.

JFreak said...

TMQ talks about the economy.

Steve said...

91-0

The losing team coach should have punched the winning team coach in the mouth.

blue said...

TMQ reads LoV it's a proven fact

JFreak said...

"The losing team coach should have punched the winning team coach in the mouth."

Did you even read the article?

The losing coach was fine with it.

The team that won didn't even play half it's starters.

God, you're a moron.

isiah thomas said...

re: 91-0

read that story yesterday, the losing team only dresses something like 25 guys, the winning team is a powerhouse and didn't PLAY some of their stars and others only played a few series.

Say it was 49-0 at halftime, what do you do - just take knees on offense?

isn't taking knees more inflamatory than playing your 10th string guys?

My job is a scam! said...

Still, they didn't have to run the oopty oop in the 4th quarter.

JFreak said...

"Dombroski isn't blaming Naples.

"Naples did absolutely nothing wrong," Dombroski said. "We just didn't do anything right.""

El Padrino said...

10th string guys are hungry

tem said...

" what do you do - just take knees on offense?"


"in Ohio, Beechcroft beat Centennial 96-0, taking knees on plays in the fourth quarter to avoid triple figures. "

isiah thomas said...

I think you line up and play.

Don't run the triple reverse running back pass, but line up and play.

if the other team can't stop it, so be it.

isiah thomas said...

YOU PLAY...TO WIN...THE GAME!

Steve said...

"God, you're a moron."

lots of hostility there freak. take a Valium or something.

Steve said...

he could pulled the 10th string in a bit. worked on short yardage plays, i don't know, something.

isiah thomas said...

Re: "Osama is a mooslim*"

I wouldn't doubt if that bitch was that dumb to beeleeve* that Osama is a Mooslim, but I also wouldn't doubt that the DNC planted the chick there bc they new* Mcclain would defend Osama.

ns

tem said...

ass kickings teach valuable lessons in life.

El Padrino said...

you have an exquisite heineeeeee

isiah thomas said...

re: Piss Hands

why doesn't he just use ice instead of piss?

isiah thomas said...

ass kickings teach valuable lessons in life.

"son, you suck, get over it"

this helped you through life right Bleu?

My job is a scam! said...

Its wee, not piss.

isiah thomas said...

my last comment was sponsered by S

(but not really)

isiah thomas said...

sponsered by


just bask in all the warm HDH goodness

isiah thomas said...

Rick Pitino came out with another book about success?


why?

El Padrino said...

"You want to get that one big hit where you feel like you're part of the team,'' Stairs said. "Not that I don't feel like I'm part of the team, by no means, but when you get that nice celebration coming into the dugout and you're getting your ass hammered by guys, it's no better feeling than to have that done.''

- Matt Stairs



Ass hammered by guys? REV please advice. It's the Philly Finutes!

isiah thomas said...

that clicking sound you hear is deke buying a Phillies t-shirt.

My job is a scam! said...

He could be buying this


it even has his name on it...

El Padrino said...

naked woman time

My job is a scam! said...

blocked...

Steve said...

More pics of the soon to be released: Nailin' Paylin

sfw

My job is a scam! said...

V!

isiah thomas said...

blocked on all the good links

wft

tem said...

never heard of V.

isiah thomas said...

V!

::Blank Stare::

tem said...

probably because i quit school after grade 10 and we never got to that letter.

My job is a scam! said...

V was a lame 80's show...and like everything else, is being remade.

spaceman spiff said...

stairs is ghey

My job is a scam! said...

It is disappointing that you never heard of it though.

El Padrino said...

never heard of it eyether

isiah thomas said...

I can't wait for 2028 when they remake the remake.

tem said...

lizards taking over the earth sounds odd.

wouldn't humans just hide where it is cold?

My job is a scam! said...

I'm waiting for the next Indiana Jones movie: Indiana Jones and the Artificial Hip

My job is a scam! said...

The lizards are disguised as humans.

isiah thomas said...

I'm waiting for the next Indiana Jones movie: Indiana Jones and the Artificial Hip

Shy Leboof* is the new Indy Jones.

My job is a scam! said...

they are like lizard people...they don't walk on all 4's like most lizards.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

comment

Beth said...

I actually remember V. It was incredibly cheesy of course but that made it kind of watchable.

My job is a scam! said...

Sadly...I will probably check out the remake. DVR of course.

tem said...

"The lizards are disguised as humans."

but they are still lizards.

Keith S said...

On this day in 1990...

The San Francisco 49ers quarterback Joe Montana set team records by passing for 476 yards and six touchdowns in a game against Atlanta

Keith S said...

"but I also wouldn't doubt that the DNC planted the chick there bc they new* Mcclain would defend Osama."

It's fixed

Keith S said...

"V!"

V was good shit. I watched that when I was a kid

Keith S said...

"He could be buying this

it even has his name on it..."


Hilarity

Keith S said...

"God, you're a moron."

I'm an as., and I approve this message

My job is a scam! said...

I knew keef was going to know what V was.

My job is a scam! said...

but they are still lizards.


Not earth lizards

blue said...

V was a mini-series...it was cool

Keith S said...

"I knew keef was going to know what V was."

Is that good or bad?

blue said...

you couldn't tell who was a lizard and who was human, and then the lizards ate your head

My job is a scam! said...

Is that good or bad?


Well I knew what it was too of course I'm going to say its good.

blue said...

or something similar

tem said...

"and then the lizards ate your head
"

if they eat your head they are lizards. seems easy to figure out.

El Padrino said...

remember the robot maid

vickey i think
she was kind of hot

My job is a scam! said...

if they eat your head they are lizards. seems easy to figure out.



yeah, but by the time you have it figured out its too late.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

V has me in a ::blank stare:: state of mind.

Keith S said...

"remember the robot maid

vickey i think
she was kind of hot"

Yeah, the robot maid was hot

El Padrino said...

no that's Rosie from the Jetsons

Keith S said...

Oh really?




S

Keith S said...

EP

Are you talking about Small Wonder?

tem said...

"yeah, but by the time you have it figured out its too late."

maybe for you.

tem said...

"Small Wonder?"

Winnie Cooper was hot.

Keith S said...

""Small Wonder?"

Winnie Cooper was hot."


::blank stare::

El Padrino said...

maybe small wonder

winnie cooper was hot but that was the wonder years

My job is a scam! said...

I think she still is hot

My job is a scam! said...

small wonder is funny though.

Keith S said...

Yeah she's hot and smrt

My job is a scam! said...

small wonder

My job is a scam! said...

I acutally think I remember that one too...although I didn't watch it.

Keith S said...

I watched that a few times

Keith S said...

small wonder might be colov

tem said...

" but that was the wonder years"

i know, but she was still hot and needed mentioned.

tem said...

winnie cooper is COL for sure.

El Padrino said...

wow, 10 year old robot
what the fuck was i thinking

tem said...

is it time for a poacher?

tem said...

it is damn near time.

tem said...

oldest

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