Monday, October 27, 2008

Eastern Conference Preview

Here is my East preview, with Mize's playoff seedings in parentheses.

Atlantic Division
Boston Celtics – I hate putting them here. I just don’t think Toronto is ready to make the jump yet. The big three are a year older to death, so we’ve got that going for us, which is nice. Rondo is going to be solid, KG will be KG, but Pierce and RayRay take a step back. They’ll win the division, but only because they don’t have much competition. They won’t make it back to the Eastern Conference Finals.(1)

Toronto Raptors – I like this team. Bosh is an animal, and Calderon is going to be the best point guard in the East in the next 2 years. Getting rid of TJ Ford was the best thing they could have done this past off-season. His presence wasn’t making Calderon any better. They got Jermaine O’Neal in return, and who knows what to expect from that guy? Was he being a pussy just to get out of Indy? Is he really a pussy? I think he’ll be better for this team than TJ Ford was. They obviously need Bargnani to step up this year, and prove that he deserved being the #1 pick a few years back.(7)

Philadelphia 76ers – I really wanted to put them in the top spot in this division. But they don’t have anyone on their roster who’s ever won anything. They have a lot of talent, but they will need a gift from the injury gods to keep everyone healthy. If not, they will be back in the lottery next summer. But if everyone can stay out of the trainer’s room, a starting 5 of Miller, Iguodala, Brand, Young, & Dalembert can easily win 50 games in the East. And then get swept out of the 1st round.

New York Knicks – The only thing I’m certain about is that this team will score a lot of points. Unfortunately for EP, they’ll give up a lot more. But fortunately for EP, Eddy Curry will probably not live through this season. The fact that they brought in Chris Duhon to run point this year bottles the mind. He’s not a good passer, he doesn’t push the ball up the court, and he doesn’t penetrate very well (TWSS). If D’Antoni put a lineup of Q, Curry, Starbury, Crawford, & Randolph out on the floor, I’d buy NBA League Pass just to watch that mess. This team might be worst than the team he had in Denver. This team should hit the .500 mark…in 2012.

New Jersey Nets – Good God this team is bad, and that is before you take into account that they traded RJ for the Chairman in the off-season. I like Devin Harris, though. Too bad he has to quarterback this garbage. Maybe Brook Lopez & Eduardo Najera can hang out at Mexican restaurants together. I’d bet these guys won’t win 20 games. If they get off to, say, an 0-10 start, look for Toronto Vinsanity to emerge. That’s always entertaining.

Central Division
Cleveland Cavaliers – This won’t even be close. The Lebrons should win the Central by at least 10 games over Detroit. They needed someone to run the point outside of the last 2 minutes, and Mo Williams was a good pickup. I would like Delonte West at the 2 instead of Pavlovic, except for the fact that he’s batshit crazy. But they also need to play Big Ben a lot less than they did last year. He and Big Z are the only 2 things that can stop this team. They need another big body. Call ‘em up, Mize.(3)

Detroit Pistons – These guys are getting O-L-D. And Rip has a nice Al-Qaeda beard going right now. But the good news in the D is that they signed Kwame Brown. Except it’s not good news. WFT is Joe Dumars doing? Is he trying to outdo his Darko draft pick? Rodney Stuckey won’t overtake Chauncey this season, but he’ll get plenty of opportunity to see some playing time and this will be his team next season. This team bores me, though. NEXT(4)

Milwaukee Bucks – I don’t really think that this team will be all that bad. They have a decent starting five. Ridnour will be a better fit at the point than Mo Williams was. They already have shooters, they needed someone to distribute and Luke will do that. Add to that Jefferson >>>>>>>>>>>>> Chairman, and this team should be fighting for a playoff spot this spring. They also drafted the retard from wava, so they’ve got that going for them, which is nice. If they could somehow sign mize, they’d battle Cleveland for #1 in the East. Maybe he can give some coaching advice to cmskiles when she comes in to make copies.(8)

Indiana Pacers – Well they got rid of Jermaine O’Neal, so that’s a positive. And Jamaal Tinsley may or may not have been shot to death, so that’s a positive…for the Pacers, not Mr. Tinsley. But in order to get rid of JO, they had to get TJ Ford. So I hope they have paralyzation insurance, because they’re going to need it. But at least they aren’t this next team...

Chicago Bulls – Starting 5 of Derrick Rose, Hinrich, Deng, Noah, & Gooden. AYFKM? Disgusting. They’ll lead the league in hustle, I guess.

Southeast Division
Orlando Magic – Even though he apparently eats McDonalds a lot, DHoward is a monster. He’s probably the one guy in the league who can take mize one-on-one. This team isn’t very deep, but they have the Hedgehog and they are in the worse* division in the East, so they shouldn’t have much difficulty winning it.(2)

Atlanta Hawks – Good young talent on this team. They have probably one of the top starting fives in the East. Unfortunately they have to play the guys in the second five a lot, too. Their coach has no control of the team, though. He will probably be gone by New Years.

Washington Wizards – No Arenas or Haywood for a while, obviously, but Tough Juice and Jamison is still a solid 1-2 punch. They played better last year when Agent Zero was out. The question is just whether or not they can both stay healthy. If not, move these guys down to the bottom. I really don’t like DeShawn Stevenson, though. He brings nothing to the table.(6)

Miami Heat – I feel bad for Wade. A couple of years ago he was on top of the world and now he’s in this mess. At least he’s still in South Beach. Not sure what to expect from Beasley this year. Was he just benefiting from being the biggest guy on the court in college, or is he really a stud who can dominate in the NBA? He may be that guy, but it probably won’t be this year. They need to get rid of the Matrix, too. He’s going to fuck up DWade’s world.(5)

Charlotte Bobcats – If I had to choose any person on the planet to coach this team, it would definitely be Larry Brown, except the except opposite. I think before the end of the season DJ Augustin will be running point, even though LB hates youngsters. It’s going to be a long time before these guys even sniff a playoff spot. MJ could probably step out of the owner’s box and beat any of these guys in a game to 11.

631 comments:

1 – 200 of 631   Newer›   Newest»
Keith S said...

Put a link to the comments if you want, freak.

JFreak said...

I'm not the one who cares, it's zeke.

Beth said...

So Keith, have you picked out a tattoo parlor yet?

tem said...

hey we had the fnba draft.

apparently i got lebron. now i will watch cavs games and cheer.

blue said...

my fnba team is full of shit

blue said...

good work keith, very informative

blue said...

one more game and rev will
look like this --------------------->

blue said...

oops, i guess that only works for Jug

blue said...

from the "things jug hates" files:

people who spell shop, shoppe

blue said...

the nuggets are trying to trick me into believing they are good. I'm not buying it, although I've always thought that Camby made them a worst defensive team (ns)

blue said...

i'd be impressed with their 6-1 preseason record if minnesota wasn't 6-2...

blue said...

oh and the fact that it's pre-season

blue said...

larry brown needs to go D'antoni in charlotte. Starting 5 of felton, augustin, wallace, richardson and okafor...score 125 a game.

blue said...

make adam morrison the comeback player of the year.

blue said...

trade sean may to the knicks

blue said...

so i guess OH-IO is not going to be embarrassed in the BCS this year

Beth said...

I'm going to be the typical woman and end your fun blue (by ending your streak).

blue said...

it's welcomed.

blue said...

UGA had a big win, huh beth...now they have the gaytors to worry about

blue said...

maybe UGA can keep the gaytors under 50

Beth said...

Yeah, I was surprised how relatively easy they took care of LSU, but UF is going to be a war. There's lots of bad blood there obviously so will be interesting to see what happens.

Beth said...

Maybe the gaytors can keep the dawgs under 50.

*fixed

blue said...

RIP T(ebow)P

Beth said...

Halloween for Kod and Steve.

blue said...

knowshon had an awesome run, he imprest me with his vision and patience, even if he couldn't outrun a d-lineman

El Padrino said...

good job keef

El Padrino said...

love my fnba team

tem said...

indeed good post.

El Padrino said...

and the jints are unblockable, especially late in games

El Padrino said...

fuck the jets

blue said...

fuck mike singletary...you let me down mike. you kilt my suicide run

blue said...

the chargers are awful

El Padrino said...

wow yeah, brees >>>>>>>>>>> rivers

Beth said...

Blue, you had a bad weekend. Losing to freak in the suicide pool and apparently losing to H in fantasy football. Of course it could be worse - you could be very close to having to tattoo Rev's face on your ass.

tem said...

any stock tips for today?

tem said...

"you could be very close to having to tattoo Rev's face on your ass.
"

::blank stare::

blue said...

"Blue, you had a bad weekend. Losing to freak in the suicide pool and apparently losing to H in fantasy football. Of course it could be worse - you could be very close to having to tattoo Rev's face on your ass."

yeah, but at least Idaho finally won a game

blue said...

and the broncos didn't lose

blue said...

i knew the chargers were bad, but they have the worse pass defense in the NFL, i didn't know that

blue said...

yeah, i lost in the Y! league to aitch because JT osullivan is a fraud

Beth said...

""you could be very close to having to tattoo Rev's face on your ass.
"

::blank stare::"

After the Rays won the 1st game of the world series, Rev showed up and was saying how the Phils could still win in 5. Keith said if that happened he'd tattoo Rev's face on his ass.

El Padrino said...

that would be a site

Jugdish said...

I'm on keef's ass!! -------------->

blue said...

mark cuban should hire john mccain since he's been promoting the mavericks for the last 6 months

Jugdish said...

::blank stare::

blue said...

mark cuban owns a basketball team called "the mavericks"...john mccain and sarah palin have been calling themselves "the mavericks"...heretofore, dirk might be getting entry passes in the post from mccain

Jugdish said...

big guy ties the knot

blue said...

i didn't see the article, but rev got married last year

Jugdish said...

I guess all the limos were booked...


"A flatbed truck was brought in to tow his custom-made bed decorated with a canopy, flowers and gold-trimmed bows to the wedding at a local event hall. Two police patrol cars escorted him ahead of a long line of traffic."

blue said...

i paid 2.40/gallon today for gas....filled up for under $46...hooray

blue said...

did tem get the zoom zoom pussy magnet

Jugdish said...

Yep...still dropping. I saw it for 2.29 this past weekend. That means tem is paying 1.59

blue said...

i could have gotten it for 2.30 if i wanted a $4 car wash as well, but that was dum

Jugdish said...

did tem get the zoom zoom pussy magnet



Yes, all the stray cats in his apartment complex like to sit on his new car.

blue said...

good one

blue said...

ns

El Padrino said...

freak saw your name on the credits for that redneck show, it was fast but i caught it

related, that show was hilarious

tem said...

"did tem get the zoom zoom pussy magnet"

yes

El Padrino said...

dude said, i gotta get dressed now

and then he put on a yellow polo and then said, ok done.

tem said...

"That means tem is paying 1.59"

the lowest I have seen is 2.23.

not sure why it ended with a 3.

JFreak said...

"related, that show was hilarious"

It took so much for me not to just laugh in their faces.

spaceman spiff said...

my $$$ league draft went horribly wrong yesterday, all started when wade got taken one spot before me, i was 7th pick

JFreak said...

I don't know what killed me more, the hot dog eating contest or the homemade go-carts.

and that drag queen was scary.

spaceman spiff said...

had to pick dirk, im still devastated

blue said...

at least spiff didn't end up with elton brand and kevin martin

spaceman spiff said...

there is some dead money in the league so that helps

Keith S said...

"UGA had a big win, huh beth...now they have the gaytors to worry about"

On a related note, Beth picked LSU to beat UGA in the college pick 'em.

Keith S said...

So anything she says about UGA now means nothing

blue said...

"So anything she says about UGA now means nothing"

keith is unfamiliar with the "reverse jinx"

blue said...

btw-

how's that erickson coaching working out for ya keith?

Keith S said...

survival pool is reset

Beth said...

"On a related note, Beth picked LSU to beat UGA in the college pick 'em."

See Blue's statement above.

And notice how many confidence points I gave to that pick. (1)

Keith S said...

Right, so for 1 point you couldn't pick your own team?

Beth said...

If you pick your own team, it's not a reverse jinx.

Keith S said...

"how's that erickson coaching working out for ya keith?"

Yep, I know they suck. I've been watching them play. But thanks.

Beth said...

Although I am picking UGA this week, for what it's worth.

Beth said...

"So anything she says about UGA now means nothing"

And I thought this was the case about me and any sports already, being female and all...

s

Keith S said...

How would you pronounce this child's name: "Le-a" ?

Leah?? NO
Lee - A?? NOPE
Lay - a?? NO
Lei?? Guess Again.
It's pronounced "Ledasha" Oh yes you read it right. This child attends a school in Livingston Parish, LA. Her mother is irate because everyone is getting the child's name wrong.
SO, if you see something come across your desk like this please remember to pronounce it correctly.
When the mother was asked about the pronunciation of the name, she said "The dash don't be silent."


Just got that email. People don't be smart

blue said...

makes sense to me

the dash don't be silent


i know a guy who had his name legally changed to have an exclamation point at the end...he is now Kerry!

El Padrino said...

i'm 77 points behind in fantasy with Lendale White, Peyton Manning and Reggie Wayne all going tonight

should be fun

El Padrino said...

he'll never change the fact that his name is still Kerry

JFreak said...

"The dash don't be silent."

pure hilarity.

Beth said...

Re: Ledasha

Snopes is currently researching if this is true.

Keith S said...

Kerry is a girl's name

Keith S said...

WFT is snopes?

blue said...

"he'll never change the fact that his name is still Kerry"

yeah, he's a big black dude so i didn't mention that if he was going to change his name, maybe he should have actually changed it to something that is not gay

blue said...

"WFT is snopes?"

seriously?

Beth said...

"WFT is snopes?"

Wow.

Keith S said...

I guess apparently I should know

Beth said...

Snopes per the bible.

Keith S said...

"that would be a site"

EP is the best

Keith S said...

WWL comment...


The Rays are gonna have to back to Tampa in a pumpkin.


Fantastic

Beth said...

For their sake, I really hope WWL is intentionally choosing the worse comments to post.

spaceman spiff said...

longoria and pena are incredibly awful right now

El Padrino said...

cant believe the phillies are gonna be world champs

maybe this will motivate the mutts

isiah thomas said...

nice preview jug, good work.

spaceman spiff said...

i hope rev gets trampled in the riot tonight

Jugdish said...

WFT is WWL??







s

isiah thomas said...

snopes

::Blank Stare::

El Padrino said...

gollum needs to die

isiah thomas said...

Beff don't forget our UGA/FLA bet:

And ISIAH THOMAS, wanna do 3 days for the bet?
Beth said...
"bet?"

Of course. I'll gladly bet that GA will either win the game or lose by less than 4 touchdowns.

isiah thomas said...

tem, make with my name/pic today, please.

El Padrino said...

philly over seattle
bears over lions
tampa over KC

those are my options heading into next week, no one lost this past week

Jugdish said...

snopes

::Blank Stare::




stop it

isiah thomas said...

no more mush attempts on the Skins please EP.

isiah thomas said...

EP - the Gints, I mean wow. That is a football team. very impressive.

that one throw by Elisha was magnificent.

El Padrino said...

you had it right, me and spiff thought it would be a easy win

not so much

isiah thomas said...

ay-yo, check it

sports stocks

spaceman spiff said...

philly for sure

El Padrino said...

"EP - the Gints, I mean wow. That is a football team. very impressive.

that one throw by Elisha was magnificent."

i know, i'm still high from that game, awesome game, lived up to the hype

and to think they had the ball inside the 20 5 times and only had 12 points....frustrating at times

spaceman spiff said...

"you had it right, me and spiff thought it would be a easy win"

i said the skins would not cover but win

but they ended up covering anyways so it was easy especially in the second half

El Padrino said...

"philly for sure"

what if hasselback plays?
tampa in KC might be safer

no way thigpen throws the rock around on Monty Kiffin

isiah thomas said...

terribad linking skillz

try again

El Padrino said...

still terrible

isiah thomas said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
isiah thomas said...

www.oneseason.com

old skool

El Padrino said...

nazi'd

spaceman spiff said...

"what if hasselback plays?
tampa in KC might be safer"

hasselback played the beginning of the season, they were awful, defense is awful

Keith S said...

Looks like UFC PPV was lame-o this weekend

isiah thomas said...

I ate a pizza with gorgonzola, pears, proshooto* and o-roogal* and it was fan-fucking-tastic, followed it up with a "pizza cookie" which might have been the greatest desert* ever. (ns)

Keith S said...

pears?

isiah thomas said...

EP - check it tonight, it's a site where you can buy "stock" in a player.

I think it's pretty much a pyramid scheme but I've made a hundo or two in 2 days.

spaceman spiff said...

pizookie with ice cream, yep, is the greatest dessert

isiah thomas said...

pears, ns.

I thought it would be bad but it was BAD - not bad meaning bad but bad meaning GOOD!


name the artist on the last part

isiah thomas said...

I did it all for tha pazookie.



*hangs head in shame

spaceman spiff said...

i will never try a pizza like that in my life

El Padrino said...

I ate a pizza with gorgonzola, pears, proshooto* and o-roogal* and it was fan-fucking-tastic, followed it up with a "pizza cookie" which might have been the greatest desert* ever. (ns)


good stuff

proscuitto, arugala is a fine combo

Keith S said...

pizzookie is the best

El Padrino said...

"I thought it would be bad but it was BAD - not bad meaning bad but bad meaning GOOD!"

run dmc

and rip van winkle fell the hell asleep

isiah thomas said...

well done EP, deke never would have got that.

El Padrino said...

peter piper is one of my favorite songs in the world

Jugdish said...

pizzookie is the best


YUMMY!!!

Jugdish said...

anyone see that guitar hero with Kobe and Phelps??

yeesh!

Jugdish said...

commercial

isiah thomas said...

fmz hates Michael Phelps.

thinks he's doing too many endorsements and is tired of his act.

Jugdish said...

he just isnt that marketable...its like Screech doing commercials.

Jugdish said...

seeing him for a few weeks every 4 years is enough

El Padrino said...

fmz is spot on

isiah thomas said...

spiffg needs:

Bo Scaife + Tenn D -16 greater > Chris Johnson to win tonight in the Y! league.

spaceman spiff said...

"thinks he's doing too many endorsements and is tired of his act."

hes a douche but he has to squeeze every last penny

blue said...

recurring or reoccurring?

our website uses reoccurring, which i think is very HDH

Jugdish said...

Anyone see the Dallas game yesterday? Their D coordinator was really animated on the sidelines, cheering the big plays. I guess he had more time on his hands since Wade was calling the defensive plays.

tem said...

"tem, make with my name/pic today, please."

do i get to change it more than once during the month or is what i pick now the name/pic for the whole month?

isiah thomas said...

hes a douche but he has to squeeze every last penny

tried splaining that to here but she wasn't hearing it.

isiah thomas said...

do i get to change it more than once during the month or is what i pick now the name/pic for the whole month?

hmmm, we didn't agree to numerous name/pic changes.

I'll give you 3 changes, fair?

El Padrino said...

"she was humiliated by store manager Kirk Rummer, who sneaked up behind her and allegedly stuck his hands into the back of her pants. The suit says, "He then grabbed and pulled her panties and jeans away from her body and threw a fistful of coins down into the crack of her buttocks."

love buttocks

tem said...

"anyone see that guitar hero with Kobe and Phelps??"

yeah, wft???? kobe isn't even singing the right lyrics or the sound is all out of time.

spaceman spiff said...

"tried splaining that to here but she wasn't hearing it."

girls, cant splain nuffin and cant have nuffin splained to them

tem said...

3 is fair.

tem said...

tem wants to buy a stock

tem said...

"Looks like UFC PPV was lame-o this weekend"

pretty much.

blue said...

"tem wants to buy a stock"

do it...but just one share

El Padrino said...

"tem wants to buy a stock"

what did you have in mind

isiah thomas said...

I hear Enron is a great value buy right now Tem.

El Padrino said...

poor jennifer hudson

Jugdish said...

buy beer stock...you know its not going anywhere. Plus you can invest in yourself.

tem said...

tem has not picked a stock out to buy yet.

isiah thomas said...

poor jennifer hudson


seriously, that is some fucked up shit.

tem said...

what is the name / pic that beth suggested for zeke a couple weeks ago?

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Dammit. Shortstack's been all up on the good computer so far.

tem said...

damn the music on the irs phone line is waaaayyyy too loud.

isiah thomas said...

I think keef had a good "guitter" pic a few weeks ago.

ns

isiah thomas said...

guitter



AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

fucking making history with every "publish your comment" click.

isiah thomas said...

Dammit. Shortstack's been all up on the good computer so far.

did you tell her "noone puts Dick Sucher in a corner"???

blue said...

"buy beer stock...you know its not going anywhere. Plus you can invest in yourself"

this was my theory with Chipotle...

El Padrino said...

isnt chipolte mc donalds?

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"well done EP, deke never would have got that."

You're out of your fucking mind.

isiah thomas said...

You're out of your fucking mind.

prove me wrong Truthseeker.

El Padrino said...

sideline reporter asking singletary if bill walsh called him after he got the HC job was hilarity

Beth said...

"Beff don't forget our UGA/FLA bet"

Ok, you lost me, did we really have a bet on this?

isiah thomas said...

sideline reporter asking singletary if bill walsh called him after he got the HC job was hilarity

I'd like to see vidyeo of this, ns.

isiah thomas said...

Ok, you lost me, did we really have a bet on this?

this was ns

Beth said...

You're going to have to remind me then Zeke, I don't remember it.

isiah thomas said...

this is what I've got c-n-p'd, don't have a date though:

Beth said...
"thats like me calling blue, tem, and then saying im not an 'old school' fan thats why i messed up blue's name"

That's like me calling you an asshole and then saying...oh wait, that'd be correct actually.

And ISIAH THOMAS, wanna do 3 days for the bet?
Beth said...
"bet?"

Of course. I'll gladly bet that GA will either win the game or lose by less than 4 touchdowns.

Beth said...

Well not sure that c-n-p shows I ever agreed to an actual bet. But what bet are you proposing exactly?

blue said...

"isnt chipolte mc donalds?"

not for the last year or 2.

JFreak said...

"I'd like to see vidyeo of this, ns."

here

Beth said...

And how many things do you have c-n-p'ed to be pulled out at a moment's notice anyway?

blue said...

"In the past, McDonald's Corporation owned a majority interest in Chipotle. McDonald's has since sold their entire stake in Chipotle; full divestment was completed in October 2006.[2]'

per the bible

isiah thomas said...

just the two bets and deke's anger comment, someone tell me when Lordz of Wagers was created (nazi'd at work) and I'll look for the day we made the bet.

I've got Fla beating GA by 4 TD's and you've got the opposite.

3 days name/pic

Beth said...

Let me get this straight, for you to win UF has to beat UGA by 4 TD's or more? And for me to win UGA either has to win or just lose by less than 28 points?

Wow, that's a sucker's bet on your end for sure. If you want to make it for longer than 3 days I'm game. :-)

Beth said...

And first LOW post was on 8/20.

El Padrino said...

video,bitch walsh has been dead for like a year

Beth said...

EPfast, see freak's comment at 1:55.

El Padrino said...

"not for the last year or 2."

right, mickey d's sold that
did they go on thier own

i should look this up and stop being lazy

El Padrino said...

saw it, double dip

isiah thomas said...

Beth said...
"bet?"

Of course. I'll gladly bet that GA will either win the game or lose by less than 4 touchdowns.

August 20, 2008 3:34 PM

isiah thomas said...

that was from Aug. 20th, 200-400 comments

isiah thomas said...

that was the bet, 3 days works for me.

I still think FLA will open up a can of whoop-ass on GA.

Urban has already issued a gag order.

blue said...

obvious joke alert:

Beth enjoys all kinds of gags

El Padrino said...

i love how skunkpatch is talking up the titans, i think they lose tonight

just a hunch

blue said...

titans deserve to lose.

kerry collins is named kerry withouth the exclamation point

Beth said...

Hey I have an offer for you Zeke to maybe shake things up a bit. How about if you lose you have to post a real pic of you and fmzeke. And if I lose I'll post another real pic (or 2 if you want) of me. Hell, I'm so confident I'll even offer up a pic of me and fmbeth.

(I want to see if fmzeke even exists and for some reason I think there's an outside chance you really make meiz look anorexic...)

Keith S said...

On this day in 1984...

The Mississippi Valley State wide receiver Jerry Rice set a Division I-AA single-game record with five touchdown catches

Keith S said...

"(I want to see if fmzeke even exists and for some reason I think there's an outside chance you really make meiz look anorexic...)"

Oh this could be good

El Padrino said...

wow

bombshell from the southern cutie

Keith S said...

Ouch

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I have no idea when my $FNBA lineup is due

Keith S said...

zeke is a worse bettor than me.

Keith S said...

older

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