Wednesday, September 10, 2008

You've Got the Touch...

...You've Got the POWER!!! YEAH!!!

Iam has officially informed me to take over Wednesdays because he is busy becoming a country/rock star. There will be an occasional post from the man, the myth, the legend, and hopefully he will be back in a few months to claim what is rightfully his, but in the meantime, you're stuck with me. In an attempt to compete with Mize, Tem, and Freak, I've developed a gimmick. I will post videos of horrible songs from terrible movies from the 80's. The above video link was from my favorite scene in Boogie Nights, but "The Touch" was originally performed by Stan Bush in the Transformers movie. I couldn't find the original video from the Transformers movie, but if you're doubting that this was actually a terrible song from the 80's, here's a video with the original song, cut with video from the Transformers live action movie. Enjoy. It is Teh Awesomeness™.

Now onto sports.

So, last time I posted, I wrote about how Dodger fans were saying that Joe Torre should be fired. I guess an eight game winning streak which resulted in a game and a half lead in the NL West has changed everyone's mind, because now everyone is saying that Torre is the greatest manager EVAR!1!1! I hate people.

If you haven't heard, Tom Brady is out with an ACL. As I reported yesterday, team sources have gone on record to say that Larry Bird will be donating one of his magic ACLs to Tom later this week. There are also rumors of a mustache graft which will speed up his recovery time, so he might be back in time for week eight against St. Louis. Boston fans: Praise Allah.

Retarded League Update: So, in addition to all of the screwed up things that have happened so far, the commish also turned on the yard bonuses for rushing, receiving and passing. Michael Turner scored 62.63 points. McNabb: 41.74 points. Willie Parker: 38.30 points. In week one. It's the dumbest thing I've ever seen. I will be so glad 15 weeks from now when I never have to deal with that fool again.

I don't follow golf at all, but apparently, Tiger Woods is really bored.

In other baseball news: Doctors finally invent a disease to explain why Rocco Baldelli sucks. It kind of doesn't really even matter, because the Rays are tanking anyway.

If someone posted those links already, technically I am not committing cumfastery by posting them today because I wrote this post yesterday. So the reality is, whoever posted them yesterday was pulling a cumfast. It's science. Einstein proved it before he died. It has something to do with time travel. And Math.

I find it funny that Yahoo Sports changed Chad Johnson's name to Chad Ocho Cinco after he announced he changed his name, but then changed it back to Chad Johnson after the league is refusing to recognize the name change. Their news and notes still list him as Chad Ocho Cinco, so you get gems like, "The Associated Press reports Cincinnati Bengals WR Chad Ocho Cinco caught one pass for 22 yards Week 1". I love the fact that Chad Johnson can make the entire AP look like morons just by changing his name. Chad Ocho Cinco is the greatest.

NBA Update: Donnie Walsh apparently isn't in that big of a hurry to move team killing power forward Zach Randolph. The Grizz have had an offer on the table for two weeks and do not have any plans to pull it. Darko Milicic and Marko Jaric for Zach Randolph. So, either way, Knicks are screwed. That's a lose-lose proposition. Sorry, El P, but it looks like it's going to take at least 10 years for the Knicks to get out of the lottery. DanTony continually stamping his foot and yelling at Darko (who wouldn't understand a word DanTony was saying) to run the floor after he makes the outlet pass would be pretty entertaining. Ok, El P, here's something to make you feel better though; at least the Knicks didn't sign Kwame Brown. Detroit did however; two-years, $8 million. I've said this before but, I really need to get me one of them NBA contracts...

420 comments:

1 – 200 of 420   Newer›   Newest»
Beth said...

Since everyone seems to appreciate tits for the first comment, thought I'd give everyone a double dose.

SFW.

Tyler said...

Those are beautiful.

Steve said...

I wonder why the right isn't getting all pissy about this?

I bet it's because of all the big words.

Steve said...

They find VY yet?

kodiac said...

I've developed a gimmick. I will post videos of horrible songs from terrible movies from the 80's.

awsome (ns)

blue said...

thanks beth, that's what i like to wake up to

blue said...

i forget, is steve a politician? like a city councilman or something.

maybe he's confusing LoV with a politics blog where people actually care.

blue said...

as if we don't get bombarded with enough shit on tv and the radio during an election year.

blue said...

i'm now getting off my soap box....



end temrant (albeit a mini-temrant)

kodiac said...

I wonder why the right isn't getting all pissy about this?

TMQ was afraid it might wipe out all of existence. I'm glad that didn't happen

tem said...

people are getting pissy because the super collider plus the mayans saying the world ends in 2012 = THE TRUTH!!!!!

tem said...

"TMQ was afraid it might wipe out all of existence. I'm glad that didn't happen"


they are just in trial runs right now. they won't fire that baby up full strength for a few years.

tem said...

early morning kod? what's the dealio?

blue said...

you read all of TMQ?

i skip over the long paragraphs about space and science and bullshit

really i just look at the pictures

tem said...

i think they found VY. He was hanging out with Rampage Jackson.

kodiac said...

i skip over the long paragraphs about space and science and bullshit

I actually like that stuff in his columns. The only time I skip is when he talks about Battlestar Gallatica. I hate sci fi tv/movies

tem said...

by the by I heard the NFL wouldn't let Chad change his jersey name because Reebok got all up in arms about it. They said he signed a contract to wear the C. Johnson jersey for so many years or something.

I'd think Reebok would want him to change it. They'd sell more jerseys that way.

kodiac said...

early morning kod? what's the dealio?

doctors appointment a little later

blue said...

yeah he was "watching the game with a friend"...which means hanging out with hookers doing meth

tem said...

i can't read TMQ anymore. he gets me too pissed off. he gets me more pissed off than el tardo does.

blue said...

why would the NFL want him to wear a jersey with somebody else's name on it?

blue said...

TMQ is a bitter old man who likes to name drop intellectual names as opposed to douche who will remain nameless who namedrops celebrities and dooze.

kodiac said...

I'd think Reebok would want him to change it. They'd sell more jerseys that way.

they say he has to purchase all existing Chad Johnson jerseys, since the name change makes them essentially worthless. That's the hold-up

tem said...

softball results:

23-6 loss

13-9 loss


our team played better the second game obviously. we struggled in the outfield the first game, but in the second game the outfielders were making plays. i think i was 6-8 for the day. of course one was a deep fly ball that i hit on purpose to get a sac fly, but the douche on third didn't tag up.

tem said...

"why would the NFL want him to wear a jersey with somebody else's name on it?"

they don't. but reebok got all bitchy and said he had to wear "C. Johnson."

kodiac said...

well, I mean, the CJ jerseys that have been made by Reebok but not sold

tem said...

"they say he has to purchase all existing Chad Johnson jerseys, since the name change makes them essentially worthless. That's the hold-up"

wow, that'd be a lot of money.

tem said...

they aren't worthless they are throwbacks.

tem said...

reebok should market them ass Ocho Cinco throwbacks and have Mitchell and Ness sell them for $300 a pop.

kodiac said...

HDH

blue said...

so does reebok make players buy all the old jerseys when a player gets traded, or cut? that's ridiculous

blue said...

ocho cinco should buy them all and sell them on ebay

blue said...

with an autograph on them

blue said...

an autograph that says chad ocho cinco

blue said...

or


he could use the jerseys as part of his TD celebration, if he ever scores another TD. He could just run over to the sideline and start handing them out.

tem said...

i don't think he wants to pay the cash to buy them all.

blue said...

then what was the point of changing his name

kodiac said...

he could use the jerseys as part of his TD celebration, if he ever scores another TD. He could just run over to the sideline and start handing them out.

can't use props in a celebration

although I like your ebay idea

blue said...

i think he could argue against that...the NBA let Kobe change his number and he didn't have to buy all the old "8" jerseys

tem said...

"then what was the point of changing his name"

i doubt he knew reebok would make him buy all the C. Johnson ones.

tem said...

"NBA let Kobe change his number"

I bet Nike or whoever makes the kobe jerseys realized that they would make more than enough money from the new jersey sales to cover the cost of the old wasted jerseys they already made.

reebok probably isn't so sure they will sell enough ocho cinco jerseys.


kobe >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> ocho cinco.

tem said...

and the NFL is fine with him changing his name, it is Reebok that isn't.

kodiac said...

Culpepper changed his number too when he was with the Vikes (after his rookie year). I'm sure he didn't have to buy up any jerseys to do that.

Seems pretty crazy

tem said...

i don't know if any company had a licensing agreement with the NFL on jerseys back then.

tem said...

they are only going to care on stars who sell jerseys, but not enough of them to cover the loss from a name/number change.


i bet LDT could change his number no problem, same with Brady or Manning. But Ocho Cinco, not so much.

kodiac said...

yeah, that seems about right

blue said...

have i ever told you my reebok story?

here's the short version...FUCK REEBOK

kodiac said...

aOcho Cinco explination

looks like Chad will have to pony up about half a mil to change his jersey

Jugdish said...

I filed paperwork this morning to change my name to Chad Johnson.

Jugdish said...

My company refuses to change my name plate on the outside of my cube.

kodiac said...

My company refuses to change my name plate on the outside of my cube.

you'll probably have to buy back all those unsold Jugdish jerseys

blue said...

you should change your name settings on your emails

Jugdish said...

That's a good idea...my signature block at least.

Jugdish said...

tem...why are you intentionally trying to hit a sac fly in beer league co-ed softball?

Is this one of those leagues where if you hit a routine pop up in the outfield there is a 50% chance it is going to be caught?

tem said...

"tem...why are you intentionally trying to hit a sac fly in beer league co-ed softball? "


it was 8-8 in the bottom of the sixth.

and it was the second game of the double header so i was too tired to run the bases.

tem said...

i liked the idear of going into the 7th with a 1 run lead.

tem said...

"Is this one of those leagues where if you hit a routine pop up in the outfield there is a 50% chance it is going to be caught?"

if you hit it to left it will get caught about 90% of the time. if you hit it to right it will get caught about 5% of the time.

tem can't hit to right.

tem said...

"My company refuses to change my name plate on the outside of my cube."


you should demand a trade.

Jugdish said...

Sounds like our leagues. I don't like the teams that try to intentionally hit it to right to the girl who can't catch.

blue said...

"tem can't hit to right"

oh, you're one of those people

blue said...

"I don't like the teams that try to intentionally hit it to right to the girl who can't catch."

i won't hit it out there if there is a girl in right, but i will if there is a shitty dude

blue said...

del taco was an awful choice last night

tem said...

i just can't do it.

i should put some effort into trying to learn how.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

We had Blue's exact CJ jersey conversation here before I even opened the interweb.


LoV/Real life Ocho Cinco i2i?

tem said...

our right fielders were the worse last night.

it was actually comical.

tem said...

i played shortstop too. i hate shortstop.

i only made 1 throwing error though. keith's tip must have helped. no fielding errors. i was pleasantly surprised. but now i'll have to play it again next week.

Jugdish said...

Last week one of our guys popped one up to shallw center field. 5 people from the other team tried to run and catch it and all of them missed it. He was half way to second when it hit the ground and there was 2 people left in the infield. He could have walked to third. Co-ed softball is entertaining like that.

tem said...

they hit one to our right center fielder guy and he ran with his glove at maximum extension for about 20 yards. the ball landed about 20 yards away from him in the other direction.

he ran right, ball landed left.

tem said...

which means that the ball was pretty much hit right to him, but he decided to run way right anyway.

Tyler said...

I think Kobe changed his in-between seasons and let people know. During the offseason, that stuff goes on markdown anyway, so it's not a big deal. Ocho is doing it in the middle of the season, so Reebock already had them made. He should have done it in the offseason.

Tyler said...

The super collider stuff is scary. I've seen a couple of articles on it in the last year. None of them have had good news.

Tyler said...

What was keith's softball tip?

tem said...

throw across the seams.

tem said...

my throws always dive at the end.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Throw a 4-seamer to 1st instead of a cutter or slider

tem said...

they didn't do that yesterday.

one rose pretty bad, but the 1B caught it anyway.

spaceman spiff said...

"French President Nicolas Sarkozy hailed the project as a major achievement for Europe."

it would be awful if the french were involved in the end of the world and we couldnt kill them for it

tem said...

"Throw a 4-seamer to 1st instead of a cutter or slider"

if this means throw across the seams then that it what keith told me.

spaceman spiff said...

hawking thinks the collider is a waste of time and we know he's smart because he 'talks in a robot voice'

blue said...

"throw across the seams."

never cross the streams

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Chrome at work. Much better.


Chrome also displays our avatars more clearly.

tem said...

"never cross the streams"

this is the except opposite of what keith said.

tem said...

find a solution whilst i am at lunch.

blue said...

hawkings is smrt because he can't move so he just sits around all day thinking about stuff as opposed to blogging

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Solution for what?

blue said...

cross the streams comment was a quote from Ghostbusters

blue said...

tem's assignments are vague

isiah thomas said...

T – did you catch last nights episode of G’s to Gents?

Fan-fucking-tastic.

First, “G Therapy” – “I’m your mom Shotta”

C’s performances have been oscar worthy. Every time he opens his mouth I expect a pooh link to fall out. His ho Gina – she talks like she has no teeth. And is he a midget? Never noticed that he was that short before.

E-6’s kid being scurred of him was awesomeness.

Finding out that Creeper’s real name is Thaddeus is equally awesomeness. As was watching his half retarded mom.

Great episode.

kodiac said...

cross the streams comment was a quote from Ghostbusters

I think everyone but Tem realized that one;

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"cross the streams comment was a quote from Ghostbusters"


If Tem didn't know that one, I'm gonna book EP a FunFare. You know the rest.

spaceman spiff said...

cojita cheese on tacos is money

El Padrino said...

Z BO >>>>MILLIC

shoot me

El Padrino said...

mickey d's hash browns should be framed and hung on my wall

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Got to Arby's during your break.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Dar-ko! Dar-ko! Dar-ko!

isiah thomas said...

'talks in a robot voice'


this is a sign of high smartness

ns

isiah thomas said...

mickey d's hash browns should be framed and hung on my wall


I almost like Jack in the Crack's hashbrown sticks better.

ns

El Padrino said...

book it danno

El Padrino said...

arby's is far and in a neighborhood that is not conducive to being white

Keith S said...

"and it was the second game of the double header so i was too tired to run the bases."

Yes, softball does take a toll on the body.





















s

isiah thomas said...

EP - try to find G's to Gents on MTV On demand, do a marathon.

you won't be disappointed.

ns

isiah thomas said...

Marques Colston has a vajeen.

bitch

Keith S said...

"tem can't hit to right."

All I do is hit to right. Usually the worse players are at 2B & RF, so it's win-win

Keith S said...

"Throw a 4-seamer to 1st instead of a cutter or slider"


mize doesn't pay attention

El Padrino said...

this lov picnic has to happen, i have to prove i am the best ath-a-lete on this blog

El Padrino said...

missed the last two weeks zeke, other than that i've seen it

my guilty pleasure is

I LOVE MONEY!

Keith S said...

Well you are from NYC metro area

El Padrino said...

aitch papelbon last night was great

blue said...

there's no doubt you're the best EP

El Padrino said...

nice work Merriman

fucking dick

El Padrino said...

"there's no doubt you're the best EP"















just wanted to let it breathe a bit

spaceman spiff said...

"Marques Colston has a vajeen."

good, one less guy to worry about this sunday

blue said...

merriman is a moron

kodiac said...

the only thing I would dominate at is badmitton.

Keith S said...

The new WGT is alright. Putting is hard as hell

Keith S said...

LMC

isiah thomas said...

I LOVE MONEY!

I think I'm two weeks behind on this one.

Tyler said...

"T – did you catch last nights episode of G’s to Gents?"

Yes. It was awesome once again.

Word on Cee. He should get an Oscar. And yeah, he's gotta be a solid 5"5'.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"mize doesn't pay attention"

Yes I do. I was reiterating your point.

spaceman spiff said...

someone needs to send H the bernard pollard fan club shirt

kodiac said...

anyone had BK's loaded steakhouse burger? Not sure if I want to try something new, or go with the tried and true Whopper Combo

isiah thomas said...

the old guy just bricked a trash can dunk attempt.

ns

spaceman spiff said...

kod, get both, obviously

Keith S said...

The mother of Tennessee Titans quarterback Vince Young said he's "hurting inside and out" and indicated he might not want to play football any longer.




Boo-fucking-hoo

kodiac said...

kod, get both, obviously

good call; but for me, maybe the steakhouse and Whopper jr.

El Padrino said...

cito gaston is managing the blue jays? fuck, missed that one

is joe carter back too?

El Padrino said...

jeff fisher is a good coach man, very underated if that's possible

think of all the shit he's had to deal with, let alone the forced decision to draft young

tem said...

"cross the streams"

had i read it right i would have known.

i thought it said seams.

ISWBDTN

tem said...

"Yes, softball does take a toll on the body."

i am fat and lazy.

tem said...

"LMC"

good us of LMC

Keith S said...

tem = mize?

Keith S said...

Good us of HDH

tem said...

as.

tem said...

tem was never a GK All Star, so no, tem does not = meiz.

tem said...

from cnn.com:

"'We can't kill our way to victory' in Afghanistan "


umm, yes we can.

isiah thomas said...

what happens when these zoidbergs collide the protons.....and nothing happens?

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

My boss has never heard "The Goat"

blue said...

who is the goat

tem said...

"what happens when these zoidbergs collide the protons.....and nothing happens?"


umm nothing?

Jugdish said...

Wooooooo!"

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Sandler skit from the 90s. Ya know, The Goat.

isiah thomas said...

ouch...you buttonhooked me.

Jugdish said...

So, are you guys still going to the ragoo festival?

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

you uhh better knot mention that again

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Have good mosh-pitting!

tem said...

::blank stare::

blue said...

i know of the adam sandler goat

Jugdish said...

That thing is pointy fellas.

spaceman spiff said...

"what happens when these zoidbergs collide the protons.....and nothing happens?"

suicide due to failure at life, or they just get funding for another project

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

wall

isiah thomas said...

EVERY-BODY'S GOT TO HEAR THE SHIT ON W-BALLS! W-BALLS! W-BALLS!

kodiac said...

fuck me in the goat ass

El Padrino said...

"who is the goat"

great street legend basketball player

Earl the Goat Manigault.

El Padrino said...

madden or American Gangster?

isiah thomas said...

Old guy update, he’s pulling his “stare at the printer routine”…..will advice when “tearing paper/rolling to trash can” routine has commenced.

blue said...

that's my favorite part of the old guy

isiah thomas said...

1st roll

isiah thomas said...

more printing/staring.

this shit to him is like bubble wrap to a little kid, he's always to got to have some around.

isiah thomas said...

only 1 tear and roll per printing.

interesting.

isiah thomas said...

I've had a few Redman songs come up on the i-pizzle this AM, forgot that he was good.

blue said...

"Papelbon comes in and not only blows the save, but gives up another run to the Rays."

wwl commenters are very observant

Keith S said...

On this day in 1976...

The United States distance runner Frank Shorter won the gold medal in the marathon at the Summer Olympic Games in Munich, West Germany


TP missed the event due to his AARP meeting.

Keith S said...

"tem said...
::blank stare::"



tem never ceases to bottle my mind

blue said...

why were the olympic games in september in 1976, but august in 2008?

these are the questions that need to be answered

Keith S said...

This page-a-day calendar was written by shamford. It says 1976, but the Munich games were in 1972.

Keith S said...

The Seoul Summer Games were in Sept-Oct

Keith S said...

Upon further review, Frank Shorter won the marathon gold medal at the 1972 games in Munich.

blue said...

"The Seoul Summer Games were in Sept-Oct"

can that even still be considered "summer" then

Keith S said...

Summer Olympic sites

The dates range anywhere from beginning of April to the end of October.

Keith S said...

Sydney's was Sept-Oct, which would either be the end of winter or beginning of spring for them.

blue said...

sydney looks like it's the only place in the southern hemisphere to host the summer games.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"great street legend basketball player

Earl the Goat Manigault."

stop. The goat is the goat.



Play Madden.

blue said...

did you know that sheep go to heaven but goats go to hell

Keith S said...

mize likes the goat that was in that "Waiting..." movie

blue said...

is he really a streetball legend if we've never heard of him

spaceman spiff said...

blue's pitchers continue to shit the bed, hopefully mine due(sic) the except opposite

spaceman spiff said...

ll cool j says he's the goat

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"mize likes the goat that was in that "Waiting..." movie"


Actually I prefer the batwing.

Keith S said...

Ryan Braun licks the taint

Keith S said...

wall, hey

Keith S said...

Jeez, regis is almost 80 years old? I thought he was like 60

tem said...

blank stare was for :

"ouch...you buttonhooked me."

and


"So, are you guys still going to the ragoo festival?"

El Padrino said...

collinsworth smugness is pertruding through my madden experience

Keith S said...

Brady who?

Keith S said...

"blank stare was for :
"ouch...you buttonhooked me."
and
"So, are you guys still going to the ragoo festival?""


I know what the blank stare was for. I stand by my comment

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Walls suck. Entertain me, dammit.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"I know what the blank stare was for. I stand by my comment"

I also stand by Keith's comment.

isiah thomas said...

Brady who?

from one UM legend to another.

Keith S said...

"Entertain me, dammit."

How can U just leave me standing
Alone in a world that's so cold? (A world that's so cold)
Maybe I'm just 2 demanding (Maybe, maybe I'm like my father)
Maybe I'm just like my father - 2 bold (U know, U know he's 2 bold)
Maybe U're just like my mother (Maybe U're just like my mother)
She's never satisfied (She's never, never satisfied)
Why do we scream at each other? (Why do we scream? Why?)
This is what it sounds like when doves cry
When doves cry (When doves cry) (When doves cry)

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

ah. Here comes a Prince joke.

Keith S said...

Not from me

El Padrino said...

jesus jessica simpson, tone it down, your gonna get romo kilt

spaceman spiff said...

pleeeeez get homo killed

isiah thomas said...

what is Jessi doing now?

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"what is Jessi doing now?"

Trying to be a country singer and being booed lustily at the shows she performs at.


ns

isiah thomas said...

I heard about that.

Jessi should either do Playboy or a movie with full frontal.

Singing isn't an option anymore.

isiah thomas said...

unleash the bazongas Jessi.

do it.

Keith S said...

I am surprised she hasn't done it alread.

Keith S said...

alread is HDH

Keith S said...

older

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