Monday, September 15, 2008

I'm pretty tired

Long weekend with the wedding. I was a pile of shit on Friday and Saturday.

The Badgers sure looked like shit against Fresno. I'm not surprised.

From Deadspin's Hugh Jonson Project III on 9/13/08:

Instead of Lloyd Carr's rushes up the middle for no gain, we now have the Rich Rodriguez screen pass for no gain. –AsInHowe

I found that funny.

So one of the groomsmen's gf lost her mind on Saturday. She decided to be anti-social for the day, and while we were doing our wedding party shit, she got shit-faced. Cut off by the bar before dinner, said some horrid things, fell down, and called the bf a "fucking N1&&3R". Class all the way. Hilarity, also. Too bad.

I puked a little at the bar on Friday. Just a smidge, right in the toilet. I was in control. The cowboy bar was butter. $2.50 Jager bombs all day, every day. Me & The Rock are in love with one of the bartenders.

So far, I ♥ Google Chrome.

Chad Ocho Cinco is a lunatic.

I suggest watching the Drunk History videos on FunnyOrDie.com.

Here

See more Michael Cera videos at Funny or Die






Okay, I'm done.

416 comments:

1 – 200 of 416   Newer›   Newest»
El Padrino said...

Lehman Bros. wow
just wow

crazy times

El Padrino said...

merrill bought by Bank of America, another wft

El Padrino said...

unrelated shanahan is hung like a moose

El Padrino said...

although he was playing with house money cuz that was a fumble

El Padrino said...

how does deke feel about a cub pitching a no-no in Miller Park

El Padrino said...

hit everynfl bet, just missed the shiteyes, good god usc is good

Beth said...

EP, we shoulda bet on the Braves-Mets series. Of course I figured with the Braves totally out of it and the Mets leading their division the Mets would take care of business easily.

It may be only a matter of time til the end of this season starts to feel like the end of last season for you...

El Padrino said...

already does

Beth said...

NY has the best chokers.

blue said...

i think shanahan figured his defense wouldn't stop San Diego in OT so going for 2, at least had a better chance than hoping to win the coin flip.

blue said...

the lehman thing has been in the works for weeks EP.

blue said...

and yes, USC is very good.

blue said...

and UGA is not

Beth said...

UGA always struggles with Spurrier (see my guest post on Thursday) but that was a scary game. The next few weeks will tell us all we want to know about Georgia though. They have to play MUCH better or they'll end up with 3-4 losses.

blue said...

and fuck the SEC....auburn/Miss St was 3-2....fuck that game

Beth said...

EP, to make you feel better, here's a link to an Alba bondage photo for some new public service ad campaign she's participating in.

Beth said...

"and fuck the SEC"

5 of the top 10. Enough said.

blue said...

3-2, and 14-7 games is shitty football

blue said...

and auburn shouldn't be a top 10 team, they probably shouldn't even be top 25

blue said...

take that bert farve

blue said...

if a cub throws a no-hitter and there's nobody there to see it, did it really happen?

El Padrino said...

"the lehman thing has been in the works for weeks EP."

no shit, really?

S

still didnt think they'd go bankrupt, chapter 11, thought barclay's was gonna take them over

tem said...

go big east.

USF is awesome.

El Padrino said...

barclay's backed ut early saturday morning, as did BOFA, which eventually took over Merrill

tem said...

you thought wrong.

blue said...

bank of america plans to rule the world

tem said...

so does JPM and Dr. Evil.

blue said...

dr. evil actually runs BofA.

blue said...

Spiff put forth a great fight last week, but now I must defeat my nemesis in the FMLB finals

blue said...

Vegas has freak as a 1.5 pt favorite in our FMLB matchup

tem said...

yeah theoretically this week is for money.

El Padrino said...

that's back to back for you isnt it? i look at your pitching and really wonder how you've done it

tem said...

he cheats.

he figured out how to alter his lineup after the games are played.

blue said...

yes, last year was sheer luck...this year, pretty much the same.

blue said...

i won't be repeating my 2 titles from FNFL this year

blue said...

weazy has trophy envy

tem said...

all my fantasy teams are horrid right now.

tem said...

except my fantasy fantasy league.

in that league i have all the good players.

tem said...

winds caused like 500,000 people to lose power in the columbus area.


tem was not one of them.

haha wind.

blue said...

how did that carson palmer decision work out for you? I didn't see, did A-Rodg play better?

blue said...

yeah, WTH is going on over the east coast/midwest. It's like they had hurricane envy

JFreak said...

Big Z!

Tyler said...

Dirty Sanchez: 17/28, 172 yards, 4 TDs, 1 INT. That's pretty rusty.

Tyler said...

And screw Carson Palmer. He is killing me in two leagues. I'm going to sit him this week; of course he'll probably throw for 300+ yards with five TDs and no INTs, so everyone else play him.

blue said...

it's only been 2 weeks, but the broncos are on pace to break the scoring record set by the pats last season.

Tyler said...

And can people stop it with the pic attachment that makes their email look like it's a spiral notebook? You can't see what half the email is about because the pic overlaps the type. Just stop.

tem said...

A Rodg had an OK game.

tem said...

for the record i went with A rodg at QB and ocho cinco, mushin and chambers at WR.

tem said...

going into tonights game i have a 16 point lead. he has romo. i have westbrook and witten.

i am in position to win.

tem said...

"the pic attachment that makes their email look like it's a spiral notebook"

i hate the ones that fuck with the background colors to the point that i can't read the email.

then if i respond it fucks with my settings and i am all of a sudden typing with neon yellow print.

Tyler said...

I forgot, I have Palmer in three leagues. Great.

tem said...

Palmer is ruining a lot of teams right now.

Tyler said...

"then if i respond it fucks with my settings and i am all of a sudden typing with neon yellow print."

YES! That is totally annoying too. Why do people do stupid things?

blue said...

changing around your email = have too much time on your hands

tem said...

for me it is always girls>

i have never gotten an email from a guy with that kind of crap.

Keith S said...

"Why do people do stupid things?"

Because people are stupid

Keith S said...

"Why do people do stupid things?"

Because people are stupid

Keith S said...

pizza, pizza

Keith S said...

EP
Bengals/GGGGGGGGGGGG-Men this weekend.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I'm happy to still be here.

El Padrino said...

word

tem said...

i guess that needed said twice.

El Padrino said...

kapersky>norton

and cheaper

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

5 straight error messages to start the day. Great.

spaceman spiff said...

made a hundred off the skins, nice. rookie saints CB came in and they went a2m on him

Keith S said...

US wins the Ryder Cup w/o Tiger this year

Keith S said...

Beth
Are you gonna give me the points in the ASU/UGH game?

Keith S said...

SWIDT?

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"US wins the Ryder Cup w/o Tiger this year"

Bank it.

Keith S said...

Fucking soccer

Beth said...

"Beth Are you gonna give me the points in the ASU/UGH game?"

Haven't you seen the polls? UGA keeps dropping in them. You don't need points.

Keith S said...

I saw the polls and ASU isn't found in any of them, so yeah I need the points.

Beth said...

Hey, we already bet, don't pull a Weasel on me...

Keith S said...

Well I guess they're still in the USA Today poll. I don't know why.

Keith S said...

I'm not weaseling. But some points would be nice

Keith S said...

What is the bet? 1 week? 1 day?

isiah thomas said...

Instead of Lloyd Carr's rushes up the middle for no gain, we now have the Rich Rodriguez screen pass for no gain. –AsInHowe

UM had almost 400 yds of total offense and it wasn't garbage time yards either.

It was the 27 fumbles that hurt.

Beth said...

Honestly, I can't even remember how long the bet was for. Wanna make it 3 days?

And I haven't even seen the spread, what's it at?

Keith S said...

3 days is fine. College lines aren't out yet. But I'll take 1/2 of whatever it is.

isiah thomas said...

and give EP credit on his bets, well done sir.

Beth said...

3 days and 1/2 the spread it is then. Seems fair.

The way I see it, Georgia will either put it all together and it won't be close, or else they'll keep struggling and outright lose. I don't see a close victory happening for them.

Keith S said...

I hope UGA brings some SEC poon with them.

Beth said...

I would think that's a given.

isiah thomas said...

"then if i respond it fucks with my settings and i am all of a sudden typing with neon yellow print."

YES! That is totally annoying too. Why do people do stupid things?

I've got people in my office who do this....same people who can't figure out copy/paste and when you help them and show them ctrl c and ctrl v they look at you like your'e a geenus (sic).

isiah thomas said...

how is half the spread fair?

Georgia is FROM THE SEC!

Keef should get all the pts.

isiah thomas said...

Gameday isn't coming to ASU now.


AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

IN DE FACE!

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Wall, hey?

spaceman spiff said...

poor management of lov fnfl team, jonathan stewart wanted revenge on blue for releasing him and i forgot to put him in for mcgahee once the ravens game was cancelled

tem said...

blue releases the best players

tem said...

if blue kept pedroia in the mlb league he'd have destroyed bitches.

tem said...

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tem said...

big wall.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Tem's walls are the best

isiah thomas said...

Deke - UM/Wiscy in 2 weeks.

bet?

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

There's a good chance.

isiah thomas said...

two weeks in a row that Seattle has fucked me in my $$$ confidence pool.

Go fuck yourself Seattle.

isiah thomas said...

Norv Turner being pissed at Eddie Hoc is by rule hilarious.

Norv Turner's neck - added to the "things you don't want to see in HD"

you don't want to see that thing in regular tv either.

isiah thomas said...

Chuck Weiss getting blown up was the highlight of the weekend.

blue said...

"if blue kept pedroia in the mlb league he'd have destroyed bitches."


worse drop ever...bj upton has sucked

blue said...

i tried to trade pedroia around though too, so everyone who didn't trade for him is sad.

blue said...

i got an ad in the mail from comcast the other day that said

"better is the new best"

comcast marketing is the better

Tyler said...

"Chuck Weiss getting blown up was the highlight of the weekend."

That was pretty awesome.

Tyler said...

And Jimmy Clausen looks like an even bigger doosh in HD.

Tyler said...

Per the bible:

"Further Clausen's age is a subject of criticism: he started kindergarten at six and repeated sixth grade[8], thus was 19 years old at the time of his early graduation"

"On April 22, 2006, Clausen verbally committed to the University of Notre Dame.[13] He was the most highly touted recruit for the Fighting Irish since the arrival of Ron Powlus in 1993."

Tyler said...

Ron who?

Tyler said...

That McGuffie kid looked pretty impressive in Michigan game.

isiah thomas said...

Ron Powlus will win 2 Heismans.

Tyler said...

And I am talking to myself...

Keith S said...

On this day in 1985

JoAnne Carner confounded the golf experts and won the Safeco Classic at the age of 46 to become the oldest woman ever to win on the LPGA tour.

Intriguing...

isiah thomas said...

I ♥ McGuffie.

I told EP to watch out for these guys before the season started:

McGuffie, Shaw and Odoms.

All 3 are playmakes and true freshman. Add Darryl Stonum to that list also.

Keith S said...

ND needs to stop winning

Tyler said...

Rich Rod just needs to recruit a QB and they could turn it around rather quickly. They could be contenders by the time those guys are seniors if they get some good recruits and things go right.

Tyler said...

They showed this video of McGuffie hurdling a dude in High School. Crazy.

blue said...

yeah, so all you michigan fans, just wait 3 more years.

blue said...

mcguffie is the white kid, right?

Keith S said...

McGuffy vid-e-yos are CoLoV

isiah thomas said...

Rich Rod just needs to recruit a QB and they could turn it around rather quickly. They could be contenders by the time those guys are seniors if they get some good recruits and things go right.

he's got two lined up right now. One, Shavodrick Beaver was on ESPN2 on Thursday night. The other, Tate Forcier, is a playmaker in his own right.

UM will have to wait a few seasons but they have a bright future, bright future for this season as well, relatively speaking.

Keith S said...

What about their D?

isiah thomas said...

yeah, so all you michigan fans, just wait 3 more years.


yep, we'll wait, it'll be worth it.

Who are you a fan of today Bleu : Idaho?, Utar?, Boise St?, or USC? Maybe I'm forgetting someone. Okla is highly ranked, I take it you're a lifelong Sooner fan this season, nice.

isiah thomas said...

What about their D?


UM's D got wayyyyy too much hype from UM fans before the season.

It's a talented group that will keep them in games, safety play has been abysmal.

Overall they played alright on Saturday - the offense fucked them.

Keith S said...

I hope this turns into a slapper

isiah thomas said...

I wouldn't mind that either.

Beth said...

It's been a long time since we've had a LOV slapper.

isiah thomas said...

I'll save Bleu the time:

Bleu: "App State?"

Zeke: "IDGAF"

Bleu: "quitter"

Zeke: "lemming"

I'm sure I'd have more irrational, petty things to say, but that would be the gist of the slapper.

Keith S said...

blue is too busy running P10P to get in a slapper








s

Keith S said...

Court tomorrow. What line was I supposed to drop, zeke?

blue said...

"Who are you a fan of today Bleu : Idaho?, Utar?, Boise St?, or USC? "

hey, you got two right....woohoo

blue said...

my comment was to mean that UM fans want to win sooner than 3 years from now

isiah thomas said...

Court tomorrow. What line was I supposed to drop, zeke?


"I strenuously object"

blue said...

i just ate a sour jalepeno...wft do you do to make a jalapeno sour

Keith S said...

Every team's fans want to win now.

El Padrino said...

i love guff guff too
the offense was putrid, ABND

but it's a lost season, get some experience and like zeke said they have nice recruits coming in

i just wish he didnt force that offense on those players who cant run it, let threet pocket pass and let's run the ball more tradinionally...

El Padrino said...

ASU's loss was worse

Keith S said...

guff guff, huh?

Keith S said...

"ASU's loss was worse"

You think?


s

El Padrino said...

Fey nailed Palin

El Padrino said...

porn time

isiah thomas said...

how badly did Phelps do?

Keith S said...

Shit, I forgot I dvr'd SNL. I gotta watch that tonight

isiah thomas said...

the offense was putrid, ABND

to a degree - the TO's....terrible.

they still put up almost 400 yds though.

Threet can play.

Tyler said...

"I strenuously object?" Is that how it works? Hm? "Objection." "Overruled." "Oh, no, no, no. No, I STRENUOUSLY object." "Oh. Well, if you strenuously object then I should take some time to reconsider."

isiah thomas said...

deke, good story from the wedding.

you didn't give us a deke/efmdeke update though.

Keith S said...

I can't wait for tem's ::blank stare::

isiah thomas said...

it's the Old Guy's last day today, he's working up a storm.

last days = a half day max, involving zero work and not caring if the person taking over my responsibilies knows how to do them.

Keith S said...

So efmmize wasn't the "girlfriend" in mize's story?

spaceman spiff said...

yost fired, wft, in a WC race?

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Ned Yost. Fired.

spaceman spiff said...

*per espn radio, unconfirmed

spaceman spiff said...

sweet, i scooped the breers fan

Beth said...

"Fey nailed Palin"

Only in my fantasies EP, only in my fantasies...

:-)

Beth said...

Oh wait, you meant "nailed" as in totally had her mannerisms and speech down. Never mind...

blue said...

fucking yost.

i guess they figured they'd fire him since they draw more fans when the cubs play the astros on short notice

JFreak said...

Nice brewers, very nice.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"you didn't give us a deke/efmdeke update though."

In last night's comments.

El Padrino said...

sweet, beth's horny

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"i guess they figured they'd fire him since they draw more fans when the cubs play the astros on short notice"

That's nonsense and you know it.

El Padrino said...

hahahahaha yost

isiah thomas said...

repost deke, just skimmed and didn't see anything.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

no.

JFreak said...

"That's nonsense and you know it."

except the except opposite.

isiah thomas said...

thanks deke, much appreciated.

as

isiah thomas said...

Yost must have been well liked by Breers Mgmt.

Keith S said...

All mize said about fmmize was not so fast my friend

Keith S said...

Which, according to Pecosian logic, means it's back on.

Keith S said...

I can't wait until September 14, 2015, when I post the "On this day in 2008" about Zambrano's no-no and a 400 lb. mize will say "I was there".

isiah thomas said...

Which, according to Pecosian logic, means it's back on.

thought the same thing keef.

Pecosian = cyber-standing O

isiah thomas said...

here you go keef, for tomorrow:

"Your honor, this ticket is ridiculous. I was at my exit and slowed to a safe speed when passing the emergency vehicles. This ticket only makes sense if you use Pecosian logic, I strenuously object."

done and done.

Keith S said...

I'll put that in my notes.

ns

Keith S said...

The ideal scenario would be that the cop doesn't show up

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I hate the people that ask for a piece of scotch tape, and then yank off a 10 inch slab of that shit. Really? Just to close an envelope? C'mon now.

blue said...

i was once told that since the cops get paid to go to court, they would much rather show up in court than sit around pulling people over and getting shot at.

isiah thomas said...

Dikembe Meiztombo said...
I'm not an angry person at all.
September 8, 2008 1:03 AM

Keith S said...

mize is like one of the lackeys at MacDowells that only give you 1 packet of catsup in the drive-thru.

isiah thomas said...

I'm sure deke hates the Golden Arcs too.

JFreak said...

Pizza Hut bacon mac & cheese is quality.

Keith S said...

I'm curious as to what this cop is going to say about my ticket. On the ticket it says I was going 65 mph as I passed him, but he checked "visual", not radar or laser. And he's probably pulled over 250 people since then, how does he have any idear what I was doing?

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Only 2 people in the suicide pool didn't pick NYG?

Keith S said...

Yeah that's the only time I've ever taken the Cardinals

isiah thomas said...

keef - reference this "laser" and use the finger quotes ala Dr. Evil.

Keith S said...

Your honor, I strenuously object. Mr. Officer said he visually clocked me at 65 mph, but don't you think it would be more accurate if he had used his "laser"

JFreak said...

Don't look now, but Ted Lilly is in the mist of history.

isiah thomas said...

Your honor, I strenuously object. Officer Barbrady said he visually clocked me at 65 mph, but don't you think it would be more accurate if he had used his "laser"

*fixed

isiah thomas said...

mist of history.


hilarity, I hope this was HDH and not "sic"

Keith S said...

I wish my $FMLB$ league was still going on, with Lee & Soto hitting HRs today

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"Dikembe Meiztombo said...
I'm not an angry person at all.
September 8, 2008 1:03 AM"



*proper citation is required

JFreak said...

"hilarity, I hope this was HDH and not "sic""

'twas sic.

Tyler said...

Damn, Yost is out? Didn't he say he was going to give Meiz a tryout at Catcher? Dammit, first George Karl screws him, now Yost.

isiah thomas said...

did you win the league keef?

please advice

isiah thomas said...

'twas sic.

funny, yet disappointing

ns


(twss)

Keith S said...

mist/midst is part of LoV vernacular

Keith S said...

"did you win the league keef?"

Yep, $500. First.time.evar

Keith S said...

All praise be to David Wright

Tyler said...

That's David Allen Wright to you.

blue said...

mist...gorillas in the midst

isiah thomas said...

five hundo, very nice, congrats.

Keith S said...

David Allen Wright reminds me too much of David Alan Grier

Keith S said...

Thanks. Too bad it's all going to finish paying off the goddman ring.



kinda s
kinda ns

JFreak said...

Lilly's through 6.

Tyler said...

I am hoping to finish second in my NFL pool this week. 30% of $290.

JFreak said...

and

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