Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Driving down the road. Rubber, plastic, metal, glass.

Young Hearts by Commuter

It's the perfect song if you're at an arcade in the San Fernando Valley (aka: the SFV) and you're trying to figure out why your girlfriend is mad at you after you've been a dick to her for a few weeks because you think she kissed another guy, but then one of her friends explains what actually happened, and then you feel like an idiot and go outside to apologize to her and after you make up you let her drive the old convertible your wise Sensi from Okinawa just gave you for your birthday. So there you go.

The Yankees playoff run has ended.

:(

:(

:(

SIKE! Screw the Yankees and all of their fans. I just wish that ESPN would SHUT THE HELL UP ABOUT IT. We get it, the last time they missed the playoffs, it was 1993 and gas was $1.05 a gallon. Please die.

Shareef Abdur-Rahim retired. He has a knee. Well, at least he won a championship finally made it into the playoffs before he retired. So he's got that going for him, which is nice.

Memo to Buck Showalter: stop using Kruck's hairstylist, cut the mullet off, and really give some thought to ditching the comb-over. Seriously, it's the 21st century. Thank-you in advance for your cooperation in this matter.

Kiffinwatch 2008 - still the Raiders head coach. Check back later. Maybe Al Davis will make up his mind sometime this year.

I wish it was Monday so I could be reading the mailbag post already.

572 comments:

1 – 200 of 572   Newer›   Newest»
Beth said...

After reading the 1st paragraph of today's post, I was half expecting Casey Kasem to announce who the song dedication was from and to...

tem said...

don't forget that the gf is a super hot elisabeth shue.

tem said...

softball update:

we switched pitchers and played a horrible team. got 2 wins.

tem said...

tem got drunk before the game and was a pitiful 1-4 in the first game. 2 weak ass foul outs, 1 300 foot foul out. Very poor performance. Resulted in 1 bat thrown.

second game was better 4-4 with 2HRs the hard way and 2 singles.

i know everyone wanted to know.

tem said...

haha, clay aiken came out and said he was gay.

in other breaking news lane kiffin is going to get fired, the earth is not flat and soccer is dumb.

Steve said...

I don't follow baseball, don't really care. But when the yankees loose, i get all giddy.

tem said...

playing the role of mr. as.:


i like it when they lose.

Jugdish said...

lohan

may have already been posted...but whatever

El Padrino said...

"haha, clay aiken came out and said he was gay."

hilarious, like we didnt know

Jugdish said...

"Aiken says he expects the news may overwhelm some of his fans."



hahahahaha

Jugdish said...

i2i

tem said...

the chick lohan is with is not too hot.

El Padrino said...

johan

tem said...

"Aiken says he expects the news may overwhelm some of his fans."

i'm thinking of going home early. i'm devastated.

El Padrino said...

lohan's girlfriend looks like a boy, i will never understand lesbians, if you want to date a girl date a girl, not a boyface with a vagina

tem said...

that confuses me too el pad.

Jugdish said...

johan



no...Lohan

blue said...

"But when the yankees loose, i get all giddy."

loose is HDH

blue said...

johan...yeah it's about time that 20M started getting earned

El Padrino said...

"johan...yeah it's about time that 20M started getting earned"

he's 8-0 since july with a 2.2something era, I'd say he's earned it since then

cmon blue that was a layup for me

also not the bullpen has blown 7 of his leads

blue said...

i think the mets have proven that divisions aren't won in July

Jugdish said...

"also not the bullpen has blown 7 of his leads"

No, their offense hasn't been able to keep pace with their opponent's offense.

blue said...

i hate that McCain says Warshington....there's no R in there moron...

Jugdish said...

Is that going to affect your vote?

blue said...

if i was Obama's campaign manager (AHIIK), i'd make fun of mccain's inability to say washington.

blue said...

"Is that going to affect your vote?"


yes, now i'm voting for ru paul...after his article that steve linked yesterday, and the mccain warshington debacle, plus obama's love for terrorists, ru paul seems like the best option.

blue said...

(TiC)

blue said...

(TiC) is the new (S)

blue said...

although it's harder to type so maybe it won't catch on

Jugdish said...

Sh-he could run with Michael Moore...that would make the Rev happy.

blue said...

michael moore is fat

blue said...

like rev

tem said...

fat people stick together.

due to their gravitational pulls.

blue said...

and their love of cheese

El Padrino said...

rev is the only fat person i like

blue said...

what about meiz?

El Padrino said...

word, meiz too
but that's it

JFreak said...

Matt Millen was finally fired.

JFreak said...

plax suspended for a game

El Padrino said...

what a fool

blue said...

why did they fire Mark Millen?

El Padrino said...

"On 2nd thought: Marbury to show at Knicks camp"

exactly why i will believe it when i see it

El Padrino said...

great win meiz, congrats

blue said...

this is starbury's last year, right, or does he have one more after this?

El Padrino said...

last year

Tyler said...

Mccain owns seven houses and thirteen cars.

Tyler said...

I heard on the radio that three of them are those electric carts/cars that old people drive in retirement homes.

Tyler said...

He is old.

Tyler said...

like mold

Tyler said...

It's Starbury's last year, he'll probably be traded; DanTony hates him. He'll sign with some I-talian team next year. He already hinted that he was going to do that like two years ago.

El Padrino said...

i dont even care T, i used to because i was a big marbury fan and was pumped when the knicks got him, now i could care less if he was even alive which is sad

i went to school for like 8 years with his step-brother and step-cousin?

Tyler said...

60% of their payroll is going to Starbury, Jared Jeffries, Jerome James and Zach Randolph. $58.7 million.

Tyler said...

If they can move Randolph, they're actually set up pretty nicely for 2010/11 (free agent nirvana). And then the year after that, Curry comes off the books. I know that's a couple of years away, but at least it's something.

Tyler said...

They just need to avoid moving Starbury's expiring contract for three stiffs with even worse contracts.

tem said...

step cousin is reaching as far as related parties goes.

El Padrino said...

dude his family is nuts, Telfair is real cousin because they share the steph's real father is brothers with Telfairs real father none of whom still are married to their mothers

it's fucked up

the point, i shot hoops with Starbury when he was at Lincoln HS and I was in 8th grade (smae 8th grade school he went to) and was best friend with his little step-brother Deon Thomas and he other brother who plays in Italy (Zach)

it's complicated
but I was a marbury fan from day one, sad ending for me, most ny homegrown guys i try to root for because i see where they come from and know how hard it is you know

you either sling crack rock or got a wicked jumpshot in most of those hoods

blue said...

EP is street

El Padrino said...

word life

I can't wait to get married!! said...

"Sh-he could run with Michael Moore...that would make the Rev happy."

Rev doesn't like MM any more

I can't wait to get married!! said...

"dude his family is nuts, Telfair is real cousin because they share the steph's real father is brothers with Telfairs real father none of whom still are married to their mothers

it's fucked up

the point, i shot hoops with Starbury when he was at Lincoln HS and I was in 8th grade (smae 8th grade school he went to) and was best friend with his little step-brother Deon Thomas and he other brother who plays in Italy (Zach)"




::blank stare::

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I just got out of bed.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

time for a shower

I can't wait to get married!! said...

The new Hulk Hogan Celebrity Rasslin' show looks retarded

El Padrino said...

hulk has jumped the shark

(is that how you use that jumoping the shark thing?)

blue said...

good use of JtS

blue said...

so now they care

El Padrino said...

frontrunning hooligans

Steve said...

HaHa. I just saw a Steinbrenner interview. He's crying like a teenage cheerleader that just got cut from the sqad.

"It's not fair, the dodgers and we didn't."

whaaaaa


I love it.

I can't wait to get married!! said...

ok

El Padrino said...

George? He's got two feet in the grave. What interview.

Steve said...

it was a statement, not an interview

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

it was Hank

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

The boss would never say some crybaby shit like that.

El Padrino said...

hank's a fool
a damn fool

Steve said...

I don't really hate the Yankees. It's mostly their fans that get on my nerves.

Now i'm kinda disappointed that I don't hang out with any of them.

El Padrino said...

man the red sox celebrating a "playoff berth" relaly pisses me off

Jugdish said...

I feel the same way about the Cowboy fans.

blue said...

i figured we'd see Aitch today to gloat about the sawks clinching yesterday

El Padrino said...

papelbon is such a faggot

Jugdish said...

I don't like Dr. Z's references to the red head in his columns on cnnsi. They aren't even close to funny.

El Padrino said...

i the cowboys fans and the cowboys

El Padrino said...

fat guy standing up on phone again

luckily he was laid off and this is his last week

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"i ♥ the cowboys fans and the cowboys"


really?

Jugdish said...

Belicheck interviews are such a joke:


Q: Miami threw a lot of passes down the seam. What happened there, defensively?
A: Well, they executed some plays better than we defended them.
Q: You said you have seen that formation by the Jets before. What did Miami do different?
A: They executed the plays well. They executed them better than we defended them.

El Padrino said...

yeah i dont even know why they have those NE press conferences

El Padrino said...

*hate

El Padrino said...

no clue that faggot aiken had a kid

wft

Jugdish said...

He didn't have sex with the chick or anything, they did it test tube style.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

EP's all sorts of riled up today.

El Padrino said...

keef.zeke please advice heart attack grill

El Padrino said...

"He didn't have sex with the chick or anything, they did it test tube style."

i'm against gays having babies
call me old-fashioned

Jugdish said...

I'm against it too...I just didn't know if you knew.

blue said...

he's not having the baby

I can't wait to get married!! said...

"keef.zeke please advice heart attack grill"

Never been there before. Me and spiff talked about that place a while back. I can't remember if he said he went there or not

Jugdish said...

good stuff

El Padrino said...

hot nurses as waitresses is genius

El Padrino said...

blocked on good stuff

El Padrino said...

you know when you bring in lunch but dont want it, i'm craving a Fatburger but i brought in lunch and am pretty broke

what a pickle

Jugdish said...

This was the good stuff, copied and pasted from The Onion:


WASHINGTON—Seeking to take his mind off thoughts of the Mets' abysmal September fade in 2007 and their current spiral into second place in the NL East, David Wright began to panic Wednesday as every channel he flipped to on his hotel TV reminded him of monumental collapses. "The first thing I saw was a report on the Dow Jones plummeting 500 points, with this big graphic of a flashing red arrow pointing down," said Wright, who also flipped past the film Titanic, part of Wheel Of Fortune just as the wheel came to a stop on "Bankrupt," a commercial for a collapsible sofa-bed, footage of 9/11, a weatherman saying that "things are about to cool down significantly as we head toward October," and a photo of Joan Rivers' face. Wright said he seriously began to suspect that he was going insane when teammate Carlos Delgado entered the room and asked Wright if he'd "seen [his] 'Mets squander a three-game lead with a week to play and end up losing the division to the Phillies on the last day of the season' around here anywhere."

kodiac said...

funny jug

ns

Jugdish said...

100

Jugdish said...

dang 101

El Padrino said...

kodfish

Jugdish said...

this is funny too...ep you are prob blocked on this too

El Padrino said...

biggie fans

El Padrino said...

yep

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Oh snap. Christmas Vacation on HBO.

El Padrino said...

classic

tem said...

"and am pretty broke"

stop it.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I heard about that movie a while back. I'll be there.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

broke EP = only having 5 grand in his wallet.

Jugdish said...

Maybe he is broke. Maybe the dollar amounts in his weekly betting column need to have the decimal point shifted one or two places to the left.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Someone found EP's bank statement on the street.

Jugdish said...

nice timing

blue said...

why would anyone have 97K in their checking acct?

Steve said...

"why would anyone have 97K in their checking acct?"

it's a savings account

blue said...

ok, same question

tem said...

because they have tons and tons of money and they want 97K that they can get from the mac whenever they need it.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Eddie just got to the house. Perfect.

El Padrino said...

i'm married with a kid

i'm broke
trust me, if i were rich i'd own a house, a car, a white tiger and i'd have a grotto

I can't wait to get married!! said...

Shitter's full!

El Padrino said...

tem owns
blue owns
rev owns
jug owns

they are rich

El Padrino said...

no comments on my lunch conundrum

Jugdish said...

Eat the lunch you brought in and put the money you would have spent on lunch into your savings account so it edges closer to 98k.

El Padrino said...

oh jug

El Padrino said...

larry king is like 100

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

jug is smrt

tem said...

owning in NYC is different than owning in ohio.

plus you are a wall st. investment banker who is going to work for the frenchies. and you have a 97K savings account.

tem said...

el pad is the richest ever.

Jugdish said...

Owning a lot doesn't mean you're rich either, it normally means you OWE a lot.

El Padrino said...

"Owning a lot doesn't mean you're rich either, it normally means you OWE a lot."

Equity. I have no equity. You all do.

"owning in NYC is different than owning in ohio.

plus you are a wall st. investment banker who is going to work for the frenchies. and you have a 97K savings account."

I don't own anything. And I'm not an investment banker.

blue said...

owning a house outside of NYC is not a big accomplishment, or so it seems. any idiot with a job could buy one and just not pay for it, and the gov't will then buy that mortgage.

Jugdish said...

Do those mortage companies who gave all those bad loans have any penalties to pay or anything? Any repercussions at all?

El Padrino said...

i cant sniff a house with my salary and the prices that exist here

cheapest house in my neighborhood might be like $600K, might

for 600K i can own 3 houses/condos in ohio

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Sadly for me, owning a house will mean moving out of Cedarburg and into somewhere like Saukville, Port Washington, Grafton, or (gulp) the Sheboygan area.

El Padrino said...

Do those mortage companies who gave all those bad loans have any penalties to pay or anything? Any repercussions at all?

smaller one's went out of business, the ultimate price

the larger one's face government fines but nothing harsh, quite mild actually

Jugdish said...

and they would be pretty nice houses too

El Padrino said...

deke how much is a house on the Burg'

blue said...

congress hasn't decided what penalties, if any, will be levied against the banks...the CEO's will be fired, if they haven't been already

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"i cant sniff a house with my salary and the prices that exist here"


New Jersey.

isiah thomas said...

keef.zeke please advice heart attack grill


nazi'd

please advice

El Padrino said...

"New Jersey."

No. Never. Unless it's in Rev Run's neighborhood or as a vaca house along the shore.

Jugdish said...

the CEO's will be fired, if they haven't been already



with a nice compensation package I'm sure.

El Padrino said...

heart attack grill website

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"deke how much is a house on the Burg'"


175ish & up

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

175 is on the bottom rung

isiah thomas said...

you know when you bring in lunch but dont want it, i'm craving a Fatburger but i brought in lunch and am pretty broke

Can the lunch be saved till tomorrow? If so Fatburger today, today's lunch tomorrow. You've already saved yourself time tonight not having to whip up lunch for tomorrow.

done and done.

Jugdish said...

Houston housing is pretty cheap

isiah thomas said...

never heard of that place, its out of the way for me but would be worth a trip.

kodiac said...

housing is cheap as hell here

fmkod's mortgage payment is $375/mo; it's a hippie home, but still 3 beds/2 baths

Jugdish said...

hippie home


please advise

Jugdish said...

tee pee?

Jugdish said...

you moving in with her?

kodiac said...

hippie home

please advise


hard to explain


you moving in with her?

yep, next Friday

El Padrino said...

"Can the lunch be saved till tomorrow? If so Fatburger today, today's lunch tomorrow. You've already saved yourself time tonight not having to whip up lunch for tomorrow.

done and done."

i'm eating my brought from home lunch now

*sigh*

El Padrino said...

375 a month

fucking car payment
jesus christ

Jugdish said...

NYC has the best price gouging.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Good for them.



ns

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Time for an adult beverage

tem said...

for 600K i can own 6 houses/condos in ohio


*fixed


or at the very lease 4 really nice ones. $150K buys a lot of house here.

tem said...

"as a vaca house along the shore."

said the rich banker man.

kodiac said...

Time for an adult beverage

getting to be about that time here as well

El Padrino said...

I'm pitching the footlong Mozz Stick to them

kodiac said...

Good for them.

interesting article; it's very sad the physical condition many NFL players are left in after retirement (ns). I know they get paid a lot, but I feel for many of them.

tem said...

$375/mo.

wow.

that's a ~$57k loan.

kodiac said...

I love the foot long mozzi stick idea (ns). I'd also like to see a cheese curd the size of a bowling ball (ns)

spaceman spiff said...

""deke how much is a house on the Burg'"


175ish & up"


"or at the very lease 4 really nice ones. $150K buys a lot of house here."

goddman it those prices are disgusting, i could be in a house, whats it like living in these places if youre not white?

El Padrino said...

kod is NS king

kodiac said...

kod is NS king

yes I am (ns)

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Pending trade in my shitty fnfl league:

Chansi Stuckey & Michael Bush for Marshawn Lynch. If that trade goes through, I'm quitting.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"goddman it those prices are disgusting, i could be in a house, whats it like living in these places if youre not white?"


Fine. Cedarburg is pretty liberal.

kodiac said...

Meiz I like your accidental Jake Reed reference the other day

for a second, I thought he might be still playing somewhere

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"goddman it those prices are disgusting, i could be in a house, whats it like living in these places if youre not white?"


Probably not, if you're making WI money.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"Meiz I like your accidental Jake Reed reference the other day"


I used to be a huge Jake Reed honk.

kodiac said...

Probably not, if you're making WI money.

that's the rub here as well; housing is super cheap, but wages are very low as well.

kodiac said...

I used to be a huge Jake Reed honk.

me too; having Randy Moss, Chris Carter and Jake Reed on the field at the same time was HDH

spaceman spiff said...

holy shit thats an awful trade

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

No shit.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I'm thinking about getting input on it from Funston or one of those guys just to prove my point.


Its a trade between 2 pals that only the commish knows. Bull fucking shit.

tem said...

" whats it like living in these places if youre not white?"

i'm pretty sure it is fine. i have plenty of black friends who never complain.

i only have 1 asian friend and he never complains either.

of course they all have real jobs, so if you asked someone who is just walking around town talking to themselves drinking a can of steel reserve they might say it sucks.

isiah thomas said...

Fine. Cedarburg is pretty liberal.

It is obviously gay friendly, we know that.

tem said...

that trade is the worse.

tem said...

Note: "plenty of black friends" to a west virginian really just means 1 or more.

tem said...

cool, ralphie may is in town this week.

i think i'm gonna go see him. he is funny.

El Padrino said...

what's the youtube baby thing on espn

Jugdish said...

Post hurricane talk in the office is almost getting as bad as weather talk in the elevator.

Jugdish said...

I found a guy who will repair fences who will work for beer.

bonus!

tem said...

"I found a guy who will repair fences who will work for beer."

back home everyone works for beer. electricians, fence guys, auto mechanics, everyone.

except bartenders and beer vendors.

tem said...

basically you pay parts plus beer.

Jugdish said...

Our plumber works for beer too.

Jugdish said...

basically you pay parts plus beer.

yep...that is what I'm doing.

Jugdish said...

beer is an excellent currency

blue said...

i should work for beer

blue said...

but good beer, no natty light or keystone

blue said...

pbr could be negotiated.

Jugdish said...

This guy requested Shiner Bock

El Padrino said...

mentioned this before but michelob banged out some new shit

like 8 different one's
and they sport this 12pk that has a sampler of the pale ale, manzer, irish red and a amberbock

i may check this out fully knowing they could all suck

Jugdish said...

After about 6 it doesn't really matter until the next morning when you feel like you've been kicked in the temple.

Jugdish said...

older

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

BTW, if I had started counting this morning, the shit record would be shattered today. Something is amiss in my innards.

«Oldest ‹Older   1 – 200 of 572   Newer› Newest»

Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"





"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug





"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino





"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino