Tuesday, August 19, 2008

temblings

First and foremost I would like to congratulate Kyle Orton. It takes real skills to beat out Rex Grossman and you did it man! You did it! I'm sure on some nights you were lying in bed and wondering "do I have what it takes to unseat Rex Grossman? That man is all heart, do I really have it in me?" Well Kyle, there wasn't a doubt in my mind. You are a beast, a lumberjack looking beast of a QB. So here's to you Kyle, you did what nobody thought was possible, you beat out Rex.


Now second....Ian Kinsler is out with a sports hernia. He is going to see a specialist in sports hernia repair....that might be one of the worst specialties I have ever heard of. I guess it is not as bad as a hemorrhoid specialist, but it is bad. Seriously, get a new specialty.


Thirdly, if that is a word, what the fuck is up with trampoline being an Olympic event? Seriously? In 8 years hot dog eating is going to be an event, I hope they replace the trampoline with it. I can't even imagine being a grown person and telling someone that I trampoline for a living. I'd have to make up a fake career, which by the by is one of my favorite past times. I usually go with Helicopter Life Flight Pilot. Although I really like, sex therapist, bear trainer, red hat guy at sporting events (you know the fucker who stands on the field in his red hat until the TV time out is over), string salesman and state license plate designer.


Fourthly, again if that is a word, I think Combat Warring is not so bad for a free game. I have noticed that I have gotten some friends requests. I have not clue how to see a friends list. How the heck can I tell if any of my friends are online?


Finally, I must say that I will post a movie review this afternoon. I am running behind schedule here and I need to post this. In the meantime you can look at two pictures of a seal fucking a penguin. The first one I believe most people have seen. The second one, maybe not. The best part about the second one is that all of the other penguins are just standing there watching and wondering what the fuck is going on.


424 comments:

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tem said...

power rankings look all HDH.

Meiz's totals don't add up, neither do Linecum's.

maybe power rankings are too complex for tem.

blue said...

i think i fucked up meiz's total...i don't have the file at work, so i'll have to look at home...

there may be an updated pr later this evening

Tyler said...

Yeah, power rankings are wiggity wack.

blue said...

lincecum's totals add up

tem said...

fine then meiz's don't. i was half right, just like the PR.

blue said...

yeah, tem is right, Meiz actually scored 85 and tem had 88, so tem is the winner this week...

take that meiz.

blue said...

i'm surprised people even look at the powerrankings anymore

blue said...

meiz is whipping my ass this week.

I probably won't even get to 4 HRs this whole week.

blue said...

don cheadle is from Denver....i learnt this today

blue said...

cue tem:

"who is don cheadle"

tem said...

tits is making a race of it in golf.

blue said...

ummm, like, only one of the greatest american actors, ummm, of our time

tem said...

i know who don cheadle is.

he does those NFL commercials.

blue said...

i fucked up and didn't make picks last week, and none of my guys played

tem said...

furry balls accepts their #1 PR ranking.

tem said...

those kinds of errors will not bring you golf fantasy wins.

blue said...

"he does those NFL commercials."

and he was Buck Swope

tem said...

he was also on the Bernie Mac show for a couple episodes.

tem said...

blue, explain the friends thing on combat warrings.

Beth said...

"tits is making a race of it in golf"

Well I figure I'll never win any of the football pools since I make my pics based on who has the best uniforms or hottest quarterback (s) so golf is my one chance to shine.

blue said...

there is a messenger tab kind of like instant messenger on the lower right hand side of the screen.

if you click on that you can see all of your friends and they'll be lit up if they're online.

and if they are you can converse via instant message to decide which room to play in

tem said...

oh i see you can look at your stats online too.

nifty.

tem said...

"so golf is my one chance to shine.
"

that and by showing off your rack.

blue said...

yeah, show off your rack...maybe some booty too

Beth said...

"that and by showing off your rack"

Well that's a given for most women. A (female) friend of mine and I are always amazed at how even the hint of a boob or nipple view gets guys totally obsessed, even if the woman isn't particularly attractive.

blue said...

all boobs are beautiful.


or most

tem said...

i can't say that i am all about seeing ugly girls' racks.

blue said...

tem is a good egg

tem said...

fat chick's racks are no gos too.

El Padrino said...

issues man

tps, techs, my computer is fucked up

i need spiff to timbuktu into my comp and hook a brother up

Beth said...

"fat chick's racks are no gos too"

Yeah, be careful of any chick you haven't seen that has a huge rack, there's obviously quite a good chance the rest of her is huge too.

So I'm curious, what do you guys think is the perfect sized rack on a decent looking lady? I assume there's such a thing as too big, or am I wrong there? Personally, I'd say C is the perfect size, but I might think differently if I was bigger myself. (I'm a B.)

Beth said...

NY has the best computer problems.

tem said...

C is perfect.

a bigger B is nice too.


of course it is relative a bit, taller girls need bigger boobs.

Beth said...

The women who crack me up are the ones who are like 5'3 and crazy skinny but have these high D fake boobs sticking out. To me it looks ridiculous and I always wonder how they can walk without tipping over, but then again they always seem to be getting lots of guy attention so I guess it gets them the desired results.

tem said...

i wouldn't kick skinny with a big rack out of bed.

Beth said...

i wouldn't kick big with a skinny rack out of bed.

*fixed

tem said...

"I always wonder how they can walk without tipping over"

they lean back to balance the boobs out with their asses.

El Padrino said...

"I assume there's such a thing as too big, or am I wrong there?"

there is, was with a girl with huge tits (DD's i think) and she was fairly skinny, maybe 125 pounds

it got tired after awhile to be honest with you, plus those things wont be pretty later in life

perfect tit for me is mid b to small C

El Padrino said...

i'm more of an ass man
(female ass of course)

Beth said...

"i'm more of an ass man
(female ass of course)"

That's like the old Rodney Dangerfield joke: "Everyone always asks what you are, a breast man, a leg man, or what. I figure I must be an ass man cause people are always telling me, "You're an ass, man!"

El Padrino said...

RIP Rodney

tem said...

tit size has to be circle of LOV stuff.

El Padrino said...

Nastia got fucked last night and it wasn't by a man. That was a disgrace. Poor kid.

El Padrino said...

i hate china

Beth said...

"Nastia got fucked last night and it wasn't by a man. That was a disgrace. Poor kid."

Johnny Sacks daughter got screwed worse I thought, finishing behind a Chinese gymnast who landed on her knees after 1 of her vaults.

El Padrino said...

deke yesterday you mentioned your disdain for misty may.....

one word for you:

ASS.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"The women who crack me up are the ones who are like 5'3 and crazy skinny but have these high D fake boobs sticking out. To me it looks ridiculous and I always wonder how they can walk without tipping over, but then again they always seem to be getting lots of guy attention so I guess it gets them the desired results."

I deal with these broads all day. It is ridiculous. We pretty much just stare at tits and ass all day long.

tem said...

"Nastia got fucked last night and it wasn't by a man. That was a disgrace. Poor kid."

please advice for those of us who don't watch the olympics.

tem said...

"finishing behind a Chinese gymnast who landed on her knees"

it is well established. on knees >>>> on feet.

blue said...

C is the best...it's true

my gf through college was a D, and they were fun, but got old after a bit

Beth said...

I have to admit, I'm surprised that the consensus here seems to be that C >>> D.

I have to wonder though, if 2 women who are equally attractive and dressed similarly are walking down the street but one is a C and one is a D, who would you stare at more? Something tells me that for pure looking it'd be the D.

El Padrino said...

nastia out-performed this little chinese boy on the uneven bars but judges scored a tie (which in other olympic events a tie results in a double medal) but not in gymnastics which i'm convinced is worse then boxing now

so it went to tie breakers and apparentely the tiebreaker process makes as much sense as living in Wisconsin, which is none and the "computer" awarded the gold to the little chinese boy instead of our gymnast who is our best

tem said...

that happened yesterday?

i thought that happened like 2 days ago?

El Padrino said...

i saw it last night, i think it happened yesterday morning

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I'm clueless as to cup sizes. I just don't really care. If they look good, they look good.

tem said...

fuck people who use the "reply to all" thing.

El Padrino said...

i like to gaze at giant tits because it's in my dna, but after like 2 weeks i'm bored

tem said...

yesterday morning minus well be 2 days ato for me.

El Padrino said...

hence my liking for smaller one's, which can sometimes appear bigger and are easier to grab, suck, hold, etc.

Beth said...

"hence my liking for smaller one's, which can sometimes appear bigger and are easier to grab, suck, hold, etc."

TWSS.

El Padrino said...

is that what she said?

so beth is there such a thing as too big? i know it's all about the motion but that's what men with tiny penises say, there has to be a length that is needed for gteed pleasure

please advice

paula pierce has a vagina said...

"Something tells me that for pure looking it'd be the D."

no shit? i though beth was edumacated

paula pierce has a vagina said...

did the applegate getting rid of cancer link from yesterday mention that she removed bofe chesticles

tem said...

tits wall

tem said...

she removed both tits?

paula pierce has a vagina said...

yea thats how she got rid of the cancer so fast

tem said...

why doesn't everyone just do that then?

if you can cure breast cancer in a week by just removing them??

tem said...

if that is all you have to do I am far far far less sympathetic to chick's that have breast cancer.

i mean, if there is a one week solution starting you in the face what the fuck is the problem??

tem said...

*chicks

and staring.

Beth said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
El Padrino said...

that would eliminate her from any wet tshirt contest she enters

El Padrino said...

what do they do with them? i've always wanted to frame breasts and put them on my wall, right by the door so i can touch them on the way out, sort of like that silly ND sign the players touch on the way to the field

El Padrino said...

and what do they do with the nipple? do they put it back?

Beth said...

"so beth is there such a thing as too big? i know it's all about the motion but that's what men with tiny penises say, there has to be a length that is needed for gteed pleasure"

Oh there's definitely such a thing as too big. At a certain point it's just painful. But there's also too small too. From what I've seen and heard, most guys are easily in the "acceptable" range and shouldn't worry as much as they do, although I have been with 1 guy once who wasn't, poor thing. (And no, that's not fmb.)

El Padrino said...

i couldnt even imagine having a tiny penis

Meiz, what is it like?

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I wouldn't know.

JFreak said...

Come play in the Big 10

Beth said...

"i couldnt even imagine having a tiny penis
Meiz, what is it like?"

I have to admit, I literally laughed out loud over this comment. Thank god no one asked me what was so funny as I couldn't exactly have said "tiny penises".

tem said...

don't they just give them fake ones?

tem said...

meiz joke was hilarity.

tem said...

meiz joke was hilarity.

tem said...

time for lunch.

El Padrino said...

meiz it's ok, people empathize with your unfortunate anotomy situation

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

If a small dick weighs 10lbs, then I guess you have me pegged.

El Padrino said...

i'm not referring to your 3rd chin meiz

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I know. You(a dude) are talking about my(another dude's) cock.

El Padrino said...

i'm bustin balls

you started it by saying you dindt need to wear a cup

El Padrino said...

even 7 years old wear cups bro

El Padrino said...

veronica corningstone with a double mastectomy is terrible news

saw that spiff

i will have to wiki this procedure

El Padrino said...

anyone see that John Adams episode on HBO where they removed his daughters tit with a sharp knife, a sock and some whiskey?

El Padrino said...

surgery back in the day looks like it sucked

El Padrino said...

one jug

this is the worst picture i've ever saw

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"you started it by saying you dindt need to wear a cup"

Shit be smashin' my meat.

And I never said I didn't need one. I choose not to wear one.

Keith S said...

"Come play in the Big 10"

Tressel didn't get much air time there

Keith S said...

"one jug"

For those working, this is probably NSFW

paula pierce has a vagina said...

"life back in the day looks like it sucked"

*fixed

wouldnt we all be dead from old age by now

Keith S said...

mize chooses comfort over fertility

isiah thomas said...

So I'm curious, what do you guys think is the perfect sized rack on a decent looking lady? I assume there's such a thing as too big, or am I wrong there? Personally, I'd say C is the perfect size, but I might think differently if I was bigger myself. (I'm a B.)

Personally I'm not a fan of fake bitties. And I don't think there is ever a case of "too big". To me, it's all about look. If the ti-tays are big and look and lay right then I'm all for them. If they're all fucked up and really fake looking - nips pointed in different directions, wrinkles/scar marks - then I'll pass.

isiah thomas said...

Dikembe Meiztombo said...
I know. You(a dude) are talking about my(another dude's) cock


busting balls about your small package is vastly different than saying you want have sexual relations with a man.

isiah thomas said...

re: cups

a few weeks ago I was watching the D-bags pregame show and they had an ex player on who invented the "nutty buddy" - its a new cup.

ns

isiah thomas said...

deeeezzzz nuttttsss!

paula pierce has a vagina said...

the price of in n out animal fries is redonk, i can get 2 burgers for the same

isiah thomas said...

titty/deke's gay/nuts/deez nuts Z!

bask.

that's a hell of a way to start the LOV day.

El Padrino said...

" Shit be smashin' my meat. "

banana one's yo, not the mini-jason masks

isiah thomas said...

Computer Status : En Route

hopefully they'll leave it in the office.

isiah thomas said...

Nutty Buddy

SFW

Sizes:

Mongo
The Hog
The Boss
The Hammer

NS

isiah thomas said...

re: Liukin

1) That mongo-drive in movie screen sized forehead is screaming out for a romance explosion.

2) Her hip flexibility is HDH.

isiah thomas said...

and those gooks totally fucked her over.

isiah thomas said...

whichever team signs CC next season is pissing money away. His arm will be shot by next season.

El Padrino said...

for real tho

isiah thomas said...

Dear Jeremy Schapp, (sp)

Please die, now.

Sincerely,

The World

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"mize chooses comfort over fertility"

No doubt.

El Padrino said...

what a faggot schapp is

El Padrino said...

Bela Karoyli was great after they gooks porked Liukin he called the judges incompetent

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"a few weeks ago I was watching the D-bags pregame show and they had an ex player on who invented the "nutty buddy" - its a new cup."


I'm pretty sure the Nutty Buddy is cumfastery

isiah thomas said...

if Schapp didn't have his pappy to thank, he'd be a disgruntled middle school english teacher who doubled as the JV Cheerleading coach who then gets arrested for child abuse.

isiah thomas said...

I'm pretty sure the Nutty Buddy is cumfastery

never seen it here before, figured it was relevant to the discussion.

isiah thomas said...

the fat guy is fiesty today huh?

Keith S said...

wall

paula pierce has a vagina said...

"Bela Karoyli was great after they gooks porked Liukin he called the judges incompetent"

it was actually the aussie that fucked her, gave her an undeserved score. countries participating in the event means no judges from that country allowed, thus no gooks. also, the tiebreaker is a gymnastics rule, not a beijing rule. blame the aussie, if a normal score would have come from there, there wouldnt have been a tie at all

paula pierce has a vagina said...

i think nutty buddy falls under COLOV, not cumfastery

isiah thomas said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
isiah thomas said...

Before the games the gook O-lympic officials said to the judges:

“You wirr give arr our afareets highrest scrores or we wirr kirr roo”

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"i think nutty buddy falls under COLOV, not cumfastery"

Ah. Gotcha.

isiah thomas said...

Ah. Gotcha.

OOOOOOOOOOOO FACE!

isiah thomas said...

OOOOOOOOO CHINS!

*fixed

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

good one.

tem said...

Bela Karoyli - can't understand a word this guy says.

CC - his manager is smart by destroying his arm, no way the Breers sign him next year. Minus well use him up.

Liukin- 16 yr old girl right?


Schapp - they both suck. father and son. may they die in a horrific crash, like morgan freemans, but they die and it would be Jeremy giving Dick the head, not some random chick giving Morgan head. the crash scene would ruin both of their legacies and make certain that no further schapp's ever get on tv.

isiah thomas said...

Liukin- 16 yr old girl right?

20 yrs old.

Dick Schapp is already taking a dirt nap. (ns)

isiah thomas said...

Has anyone peeped game on our anthem during the medal ceremony?

the first half is fine but when the "rockets red glare" part hits, it sounds Disney-ish.

wft

isiah thomas said...

this place has gone all Stephen Hawking....not uber smart but paralyzed by retardation.

tem said...

not seen a medal ceremony yet.


then johnson is he 16yr old?

isiah thomas said...

we're suffering from all 3 kinds of retardation.

isiah thomas said...

yeah johnson is the 16 yr old.

tem said...

we missed your IQ points.

isiah thomas said...

not uber smart but paralyzed by retardation = no action, not > D-

isiah thomas said...

"not > D-"

not greater > D-

*fixed

tem said...

you mean less than < D-?

tem said...

yes i fully realize not > = <

tem said...

< = > talk, kilt it.

isiah thomas said...

this place is a goddman ghost town

El Padrino said...

it had promise

tem said...

it's blue's fault.

El Padrino said...

"father and son. may they die in a horrific crash"

dick's been dead like 2-3 years now

El Padrino said...

it was actually the aussie that fucked her, gave her an undeserved score. countries participating in the event means no judges from that country allowed, thus no gooks. also, the tiebreaker is a gymnastics rule, not a beijing rule. blame the aussie, if a normal score would have come from there, there wouldnt have been a tie at all

true. but i say gooks cuz they bought the aussie judge. the fix was in spiff, i blame china

Keith S said...

On this day in 1951...

Eddie Gaedel, who was 3'7" tall and 65 pounds, became the smallest man ever to play pro baseball when St. Louis Browns owner Bill Veeck hired him to pinch-hit. Gaedel walked on four pitches in his only turn at bat in the major leagues.

50 years later, mize ate him.

tem said...

"dick's been dead like 2-3 years now"

i want him to die again.

tem said...

why didn't they ever use the guy again? he had a 1.000 OBP.

Keith S said...

I dunno. I wasn't alive yet

tem said...

too bad TP isn't here. he'd know.

Keith S said...

Thighmaster guy is now talking about getting a buttmaster. I didn't know he knew mize.

tem said...

meiz jokes are reaching new heights in quantity today.

Beth said...

"why didn't they ever use the guy again? he had a 1.000 OBP."

I think they banned midgets after that.

Keith S said...

"I think they banned midgets after that."

Did they change the rule for Rafael Belliard and Mark Lemke?

isiah thomas said...

I ♥ Deke jokes.

Beth said...

From wiki about the midget:

American League president Will Harridge, saying Veeck was making a mockery of the game, voided Gaedel's contract the next day. Veeck humorously threatened to request an official ruling on whether Yankees shortstop and reigning MVP Phil Rizzuto was a short ballplayer or a tall midget.

isiah thomas said...

midgets are evil.

ns

tem said...

"I think they banned midgets after that."

is that even legal?

Keith S said...

"is that even legal?"

It was 1951, tem

tem said...

1951 this, retard.

Keith S said...

Rosa Parks still wasn't allowed to sit in the front of the bus in 1951

tem said...

was she a midget too?

i think not.

tem said...

commie keith thinks rosa was a midget.

tem said...

joe horn, soon to be a brown or bronco...

Keith S said...

tem is irrational

tem said...

you just now learnt this?

tem said...

of course you think rosa parks was a midget...

tem said...

horn could also be a bungle soon.

tem said...

"New Indiana basketball coach Tom Crean has signed a 10-year deal worth $23.6 million."


extending him before he even coaches 1 game for IU seems a bit odd. he already had an 8 year deal, that wasn't long enough??

tem said...

it sounds like it might be time for me to go on a run.

or maybe write a movie review.

tem said...

not enough comments for me to write a movie review.

paula pierce has a vagina said...

raider, niners, jags, skins, gints, jets, vikings, seahawks also interested in horn

Keith S said...

Write a review of Stepbrothers

tem said...

you write it.

Keith S said...

Joe Horn could sign with almost any team

*fixed

tem said...

he might end up with the gints or jags.

or the jets because of bert.

but i doubt he wants to play with the QBs from those other teams.

Keith S said...

I already saw it.

tem said...

do a review of it from before you saw it then.

tem said...

jeez a lou, i gotta think of everything for you.

tem said...

dogmann it. damn commie can't think for himself.

isiah thomas said...

EP - are the Gints going to suffer from the SB Hangover?

How much longer with Plax's vajeen hurt?

Keith S said...

You done with volleyball yet, tem?

tem said...

no, vball has like 5 weeks left.

blue said...

vball has a very long season

Keith S said...

EP
FYI...OG has their endless pasta for $8.95 special going on right now.

El Padrino said...

"EP - are the Gints going to suffer from the SB Hangover?

How much longer with Plax's vajeen hurt?"

No hangover, they are playyoff team for sure.

Plax's ankle will stop hurting once he signs that extension.

El Padrino said...

"EP
FYI...OG has their endless pasta for $8.95 special going on right now."

*puking*

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I got a piece of mail addressed to George Karl today.




NP

El Padrino said...

Did you rub your tiny penis on it?

JFreak said...

"Liukin- 16 yr old girl right?

20 yrs old."

split the difference.

she's 18

Keith S said...

"No hangover, they are playyoff team for sure."

We're betting on this, right?

El Padrino said...

18 is leaal

giddy up

El Padrino said...

"We're betting on this, right?"

thought we already did

Keith S said...

"thought we already did"

OK, I was making sure. I couldn't remember if we did. 1 week, right?

Keith S said...

"Pujols. Utley. Sabathia. Wright. They all have cred in this year's NL MVP race."


NFW is Sabathia an MVP candidate. He played most of the season in the AL, and his team is no higher in the standings than they were when they got him.

blue said...

LMC

isiah thomas said...

Did you rub your tiny penis on it?

I had to play off my LOL with a cough, fucking funny as shit.

isiah thomas said...

Panda Dicktumbo

Keith S said...

older

Keith S said...

older

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