Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Rocco Mania, Sweeping the Nation...

Let's see here...

Michael Phelps is an eating and Gold Medal winning machine. Dude refuses to lose. He should do the "Too Legit To Quit" hand sign at one of the medal ceremonies. That would be hook-da-hook.

Carl Crawford is going to have hand surgery. Rays - thanks for comin' out. Sheffield and Bonds are sitting at home, waiting for the phone to ring. I'm just sayin'. You know, if you'd like to try and win that AL East division title you might want to try and give them a call or something. Unless you're going to be like El P and rely on Rocco Baldelli, which I really wouldn't advise. Personally, I think Crawford is pretty overrated (or as Spiff would say, OVERRATED). I mean, the dude's stats are nice and all, and he plays a pretty mean centerfield leftfield, but take away those steals and there's really not much to write home about. In fact, he's having a down year this year. In 443 At-Bats he's got 69 Runs, 8 Homers, 57 RBI, 25 Steals and he's batting .273. Discuss.

Jay Feely was cut by the Dolphins. Quote from Feely - "I definitely never felt wanted there". Dude, you're the KICKER, no one likes you to begin with. C'mon now. Don't get your panties in a bunch.

I reported this last night, but now this Spanish Men's Basketball picture is a full blown fiasco. Alls I'm saying is that it had to filter through an awful lot of people before someone finally saw the picture and said, "What the hell were you guys thinking?!? No, we can't use that!" I mean, they really didn't think they were going to catch any heat for that? Pow Gasol said it was "absurd" people were calling it racist. So, yeah, the entire country of Spain is pretty f'd up.

"Rafer Alston is due in court Thursday for arraignment on a misdemeanor drunken driving charge." Ah, Skip, will you never learn? If there are any out of work reality TV show people out there, grab a camera and follow Rafer around. Ratings Gold I tell you. Just protect ya neck whenever he has something sharp in his hand. Like if he wants to go to eat out to a nice steakhouse, tell him you made plans already. Hey wait, that should be his new street name; "Protect Ya Neck".

And I'm out of material...

307 comments:

1 – 200 of 307   Newer›   Newest»
Keith S said...

"Sheffield and Bonds are sitting at home, waiting for the phone to ring."

Didn't Sheffield hit 2 HR for Le Tigres last night?

Tyler said...

I thought they put him on waivers?

Keith S said...

Guac is the worse

El Padrino said...

disappointed you didnt use Alston's street ball name

"skip to my lou"

Tyler said...

Yeah, he did he two dingers last night. Maybe putting him on waivers was motivation to not suck.

El Padrino said...

Guac is solid

El Padrino said...

Baldelli is on my bench simply to learn how to be an everyday player. He will get no significant time.

(unless he goes on some sort of tear, which probably wont happen)

Keith S said...

They placed him on waivers so they can trade him if needed.

Tyler said...

I called him "Skip".

Tyler said...

I like calling him by his government name though. For some reason I find it funny that his real name is Rafer.

Tyler said...

And for the record, this was brought up very early in the comments yesterday, but Tropic Thunder is not like Karate Kid IV. Tropic Thunder is derivative of Galaxy Quest which itself was derivative of Three Amigos. Actors think they're in a fake situation but then get caught in a real situation that mirrors the one they think they're acting in and hilarity ensues.

Tyler said...

Guac is the best. I love avocados.

paula pierce has a vagina said...

lav coles is a fucking straight up whiny bitch

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I have never had the courage to try guacamole. It looks alien to me.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Amanda Beard sucks.

Keith S said...

"Guac is solid"

Agree to disagree

Keith S said...

Am I a commie for not liking guac, even though it's not an American thing?

Tyler said...

"Agree to disagree"

As long as we're agreeing that you're wrong.

Keith S said...

I don't think I'll watch Tropic Thunder. I don't like any of those actors

Tyler said...

Yes, you are Anti-American.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"Am I a commie for not liking guac, even though it's not an American thing?"


No.

Tyler said...

I am going to an Avacado Festival in Carpinteria in October. They have the world's largest vat of guacamole. It will be the awesome.

Keith S said...

"As long as we're agreeing that you're wrong."

No, we're agreeing to disagree

Keith S said...

fsilok's dog took a ginormous dump in the front room last week. It looked like guacamole.

paula pierce has a vagina said...

"I have never had the courage to try guacamole."

wft

El Padrino said...

shoot it

El Padrino said...

"I have never had the courage to try guacamole."

but you'll dip your chips in an orange foreign substnace said to be "cheese" out of a fucking jar

Keith S said...

I don't understand how EP can like guac, but not like mayo/sour cream/ranch/etc...

JFreak said...

"I didn't see that first match that the US men's beach team lost, but I've seen their last 2 matches that they dominated. HTF did they lose the first match?"

One of the dudes got there the night before and then walked in the opening ceremonies. Said his legs were tired and he couldn't jump.

Keith S said...

Thighmaster guy is complaining about his legs hurting now. He is my Gollum

Keith S said...

minus the eating raw garlic phenomenon

tem said...

"but Tropic Thunder is not like Karate Kid IV."

are you saying my movie review was inaccurate???

tem said...

in any case I saw Tropic Thunder last night and it was HDH.

lots of great one liners.

El Padrino said...

"I don't understand how EP can like guac, but not like mayo/sour cream/ranch/etc..."

all of the above are white
if you look closely, gauc in fact, is green

tem said...

tem does not like guac.

Keith S said...

"all of the above are white
if you look closely, gauc in fact, is green"


WGAF what color they are?

tem said...

Actors think they're in a fake situation but then get caught in a real situation that mirrors the one they think they're acting in and all hell breaks lose.

*althernative version.

Keith S said...

You eat garlic. That's white.

tem said...

they make green ranch. it is like ranch with some sort of cucumber or something mixed in.

i guess el pad would eat that.

Keith S said...

You eat vanilla ice cream. That's white.

Tyler said...

"and all hell breaks lose."

Well done, sir.

El Padrino said...

i have a thing about white condiments, not white foods

try and keep up

tem said...

hmm, finding out that your HS gf is now pretty fat is the worse.

tem said...

"try and" is HDH

Keith S said...

"i have a thing about white condiments, not white foods"

Yeah, I'm trying to understand that.

tem said...

by the by, a solid relief outing by tyler today.

tem said...

i too dislike white condiments in general, but not because they are white.

Keith S said...

"hmm, finding out that your HS gf is now pretty fat is the worse."

Probably not as worst if she's not your current gf.

Keith S said...

""try and" is HDH"

Why?

El Padrino said...

Mayo, even if it were purple, is fucking disgusing anyway. Fucking eggs, oil, mustard, vingegar and whatever else. Yuck.

Tyler said...

"try and is HDH

Why?"

Try to keep up, Keith.

El Padrino said...

"Yeah, I'm trying to understand that."

don't. i'm a complicated man.

Keith S said...

"Try to keep up, Keith."

What's wrong with try and keep up?

tem said...

"Probably not as worst if she's not your current gf."

true. it is actually kind of a relief because you no longer wonder what might have been. you just think, damn she got fat.

Keith S said...

EP
Do you eat deviled eggs?

tem said...

"try and keep up" works as two separate statements...i guess

1) try.

2) keep up.


but i think you really want to be saying "try to keep up"

tem said...

try to is more like a request.

try and is more like a command.


i guess....

tem said...

in any case i stand by my "Try and" is HDH statement.

tem said...

spanish response to the photo flap:

"we so vely vely solly"

El Padrino said...

"EP
Do you eat deviled eggs?"

no

El Padrino said...

obviously.

El Padrino said...

"Anthony, lol.. so I take that as yes you are booking this today..."

a 50 year old women just hit me with an LOL on a professional email
i wanna take the boat to 60 Wall and put her in the cross face chicken

blue said...

just to bitch

Carl Crawford doesn't play CF, Upton does

Keith S said...

tylerford's post was alright.

Keith S said...

a 50 year old women is HDH

iammebeingme said...

daddy woke up late. sorry kids, i know your distraughteled.

ncie post, T


"Because Georgia is IN THE SEC!!"

..beth made a funny.

Tyler said...

"Carl Crawford doesn't play CF, Upton does"

I fixed it.

iammebeingme said...

did anybody catch the panda segment they had on NBC? bob costas got to talk panda porn and Bella shit-talking the underage chinese girls all in one night.

and he has a horrible dye job.

Tyler said...

He was an overrated centerfielder anyway, even when he didn't play centerfield.

El Padrino said...

fucking bum

Keith S said...

Hot

Keith S said...

"did anybody catch the panda segment they had on NBC?"

Mary Carillo is hot.


s

El Padrino said...

what's with dancing ads about low mortage rates or credit reports?

Tyler said...

There's a whole run on LoVad last night about me wanting the Pandas to kill Mary Carillo.

Keith S said...

US baseball team sucks

El Padrino said...

Davey Johnson can't save them?

iammebeingme said...

i shouldve known.

El Padrino said...

Every four years, shorten the MLB season so our best can play. Who would be against this, other then greedy owners who wouldnt want their stary players getting hurt?

hockey does it

Keith S said...

"what's with dancing ads about low mortage rates or credit reports?"

They're as dumb as the TV commercials with kids talking about their parents' investment options.

Keith S said...

MLB >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
NHL

El Padrino said...

man on fire for real

Keith S said...

"other then greedy owners who wouldnt want their stary players getting hurt?"

If I invested $100+ million into a player, I'd be concerned with them getting hurt whilst playing somewhere else, too.

El Padrino said...

no kiddin keef

El Padrino said...

"If I invested $100+ million into a player, I'd be concerned with them getting hurt whilst playing somewhere else, too."

yeah, if you were a communist.

Tyler said...

I thought it was established earlier that Keef is a commie based on his dislike of guacamole.

Keith S said...

When in Rome

Keith S said...

Your mom goes to college

Keith S said...

And guacamole isn't American.

El Padrino said...

keef has a long list t, not just the gauc rejection

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Question of the day:


When you wipe your ass, are you a baller or a folder?

paula pierce has a vagina said...

WOW, mike tafoya is majorly shamfording the girls gymnastics recap, you can tell she didnt watch

Keith S said...

mize is weird

Tyler said...

"When you wipe your ass, are you a baller or a folder?"

For wiping I am a folder. When I blow my nose, I am a baller.

Tyler said...

The likelihood of getting shit on your hands from balling up the TP after you wipe is very high.

Keith S said...

You ball before, not after

Tyler said...

I watched about half of the girls gymnastics. I hope they didn't keep saying "That's how we roll" like the douchbags on the the men's team did.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

balling is also more wasteful.

paula pierce has a vagina said...

if you ball, youre a dirty, lazy bum

paula pierce has a vagina said...

"..."That's how we roll" like the douchbags on the the men's team did."

yea, i was wondering about why they were implying the USA rolls with bronze medals, usually not the case

Keith S said...

"I hope they didn't keep saying "That's how we roll" like the douchbags on the the men's team did."

I saw that dbag doing that. I told fmk that that's why the rest of the world hate Americans.

Keith S said...

TP talk is fascinating. Thanks mize.

Tyler said...

"I told fmk that that's why the rest of the world hate Americans."

Word. My thoughts exactly.

Keith S said...

They may also hate Americans because they do nothing but comment on a blog instead of actually working.

Keith S said...

But that's neither here nor there.

Tyler said...

The U.S. should have every Olympian sign a Code of Conduct Contract with a Non-Douchebaggery Clause before they are allowed to compete.

Tyler said...

"But that's neither here or there."

*fixed

Keith S said...

HDH

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"TP talk is fascinating. Thanks mize."


No problem. I have a wealth of these kinds of things.

El Padrino said...

Folding is for women who wipe their vagina's. I'm a baller and proud of it. Also never got shit on my hand.

Tyler said...

Big Ballin', Shot Callin'.

Keith S said...

Wanna be a balla, shot calla
20 inch blades, on the impala
calla gettin laid tonight
swisher rolled tight, gotta spray by ike
hit the hiiiiighway, making money the flyyyyy way
but there's got to be a betttter way, a better way

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"I'm a baller and proud of it. Also never got shit on my hand."


That's a damn lie.

Keith S said...

"That's a damn lie."


Well if anyone would know...

tem said...

"The cause of death was not yet known. Allen had been hospitalized in recent months as she suffered from a recurring blood infection, along with diabetes, breathing troubles and kidney failure, Rose said."


jeez-a-lou that's a lot of problems....makes keith look like the picture of health.

Keith S said...

I just have GI issues. Otherwise I'm healthy as can be.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Wow. Keith Olbermann just shredded McCain on a friggin' commercial. That was awesome.

tem said...

"They may also hate Americans because they do nothing but comment on a blog instead of actually working."

i worked today. i have to train some dude that they hired to do my job. i think new dude makes more than me too. i need a raise.

tomorrow i will teach him how to blog.

tem said...

The U.S. should have every person sign a Code of Conduct Contract with a Non-Douchebaggery Clause before they are allowed to breathe.

*fixed

Keith S said...

So tem is losing his yob?

El Padrino said...

oh shit carvel birfday cake is in the house, i will now turn into a ninja and grab a piece even though i have no right

Keith S said...

I have to go to court next month to fight my bullshit traffic ticket.

Tyler said...

"bullshit traffic ticket"

Please Advice. What happened?

El Padrino said...

DMV is all sorts of fun.

El Padrino said...

NY does NOT have the best DMV.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

My food supply is really lacking right now.

El Padrino said...

Cake acquired. It was placed on waivers.

Tyler said...

We are the #1 result on Google if you search for "hook-da-hook".

Great job fellas.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"NY does NOT have the best DMV."

This is also clearly a lie.


And I'm the guy known as Pecos..?

Keith S said...

"Please Advice. What happened?"

Driving home on the freeway about 1/4 mile from my exit, and there were 4 highway patrol with cars pulled over on the right. I was in the right lane and there was a car next to me. I slowed down because I couldn't get over, and another motorcyle cop was behind the back car that was pulled over. He pulls out and pulls me over on the exit, and said that I didn't move over a lane when I passed the cops.

Tyler said...

It must be very good cake if you used your waiver wire position to acquire it.

iammebeingme said...

R*tard is the new N*gger

im sure its been mentioned. mafuggers see this is another topic with which they can prolong or advance their careers.

more high horse, away!!

Keith S said...

Law says that you should move over if it is safe to do so, if not then slow down to a safe speed. I slowed from 70 to 55 when I passed them.

Keith S said...

iammebeingcumfast

Keith S said...

"DMV is all sorts of fun."

Don't have to go to DMV. Am going to the justice court.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"im sure its been mentioned. mafuggers see this is another topic with which they can prolong or advance their careers.

more high horse, away!!"


I posted a comment. I don't think they'll publish it.

iammebeingme said...

"iammebeingcumfast"

u betta ba'lee dat.

El Padrino said...

DMV is the worst here. I'd much rather go to the dentist then to DMV.

iammebeingme said...

people trying to come out of the woodwork on something like that.. is like someone trying to give themselves a nickname.

u just want to have metal toed boot attached to your foot at that very moment.

El Padrino said...

basically he's retarded for saying that

Keith S said...

The uproar about the retard comments is hilarity considering that a few years ago Johnny Knoxville made a movie where he faked being a retard, but because they paid money to the Special Olympics, it wasn't a big deal.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I tell ya, I love my $28.88 gas grill I got from Wal-Mart.

blue said...

yeah, fake retards are the funniest

almost as funny as real retards

blue said...

"I tell ya, I love my $28.88 gas grill I got from Wal-Mart."


meiz is that guy

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"The uproar about the retard comments is hilarity considering that a few years ago Johnny Knoxville made a movie where he faked being a retard, but because they paid money to the Special Olympics, it wasn't a big deal."


The Ringer. Funny as hell. I recommend it to all.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"meiz is that guy"

How? I got it for tailgating. The little fucker is great.

Keith S said...

TDiLoVH talks about the Ringer.

NS

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I'm not gonna blow 200 bones on a grill if I don't even have a house.

Keith S said...

We use dollars as currency here in the PHX

Keith S said...

OMJ wall

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Which post were you looking at for tdilovh?

tem said...

"So tem is losing his yob?"

no, actually i just get to tell some yahoo what to do. it's just that he makes more than me.

Keith S said...

"Which post were you looking at for tdilovh?"

Posted on the 12th, but comments are on the 13th.

Keith S said...

You'd have to pay me a lot to take orders from tem, too.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Damn! Olbermann just hammered on Bill O'Reilly on a commercial. I'm really beginning to like KO.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Team USA is gonna pull a Gagne

El Padrino said...

Your a dirty liberal?

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I'm poor.

El Padrino said...

Mek-wan

Keith S said...

Liberals are the better

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I want Canuk-style medical care.

tem said...

than move

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

shut up, tem.

Keith S said...

"than move"

cumbonics

El Padrino said...

Gilbert, AZ

El Padrino said...

I put Keef as a notable resident, let's see if it goes through

paula pierce has a vagina said...

meiz, bucks got rid of mo williams

paula pierce has a vagina said...

also got rid of desmond mason, bucks get damon jones, luke ridnour and adrian griffin

Keith S said...

Does it automatically add it when you submit? I don't see my name there.

Keith S said...

Dave Burba currently lives in Gilbert, Arizona. He was a former star pitcher of the late 1990s Indians teams


Star pitcher, huh?

paula pierce has a vagina said...

okc - joe smiff, desomnd mason

bucks - adrain griffing, luke ridnour, damon jones

cavs - mo williams

Keith S said...

TMNBAT

paula pierce has a vagina said...

it will add, but then they will delete like 5 minutes later

Keith S said...

Roy Wayne Farris, an American Pro Wrestler (better known by his ring name, "The Honky Tonk Man"), lives in Gilbert

Interesting

paula pierce has a vagina said...

TMGAT

Keith S said...

touche

El Padrino said...

decent trade

Keith S said...

kiss of death, spiff

Keith S said...

I'll set up a suicide league, college pick 'em, & nfl pick 'em league tonight

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Awful trade for the Bucks. Although I'm glad they dumped Mo.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"I'll set up a suicide league, college pick 'em, & nfl pick 'em league tonight"

OK

blue said...

"okc - joe smiff, desomnd mason

bucks - adrain griffing, luke ridnour, damon jones

cavs - mo williams"


Hilarity

blue said...

skiles will love Griffin, he'll hate ridenour and tell him he needs a haircut, and damon jones is still in the league?

Keith S said...

Doesn't Griffin wear a head band?

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Gross. Its getting humid.

tem said...

"cumbonics"

done on purpose.

paula pierce has a vagina said...

"damon jones is still in the league?"

lucky bastard millionaire

tem said...

wft is a Jonas Brother?

Keith S said...

"done on purpose."

meizar!

paula pierce has a vagina said...

no good olympics tonight, women's cycling and men's synchro diving

Tyler said...

"I'm just a Honky Tonk Man,
I'm cool, I'm cocky, I'm bad."

tem said...

meizar! this, retard.

Tyler said...

meizar sounds like a metal band.

Tyler said...

Speaking of "sounds like", my fantasy team recently contracted a scorching case of Hermida.

Tyler said...

Hermida talk caused a Great Wall of LoV.

Beth said...

"wft is a Jonas Brother?"

Preteen girl music band and heartthrobs.

Keith S said...

Tyler has low wall standards

Keith S said...

"no good olympics tonight, women's cycling and men's synchro diving"

Nice. I can go to sleep early tonight

Keith S said...

Time

Keith S said...

for

Keith S said...

older

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"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





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"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino