Friday, August 08, 2008

Panthers That Are Golden

EPCS - composite index of statistics, wit, bullshit and know-it-all.

#1 - Florida International
The Sun Belt Conference is due for a #1 team. FIU is poised. SI predicts a 1-11 season but I just don't see it. While the Offense ranked next to last at 118th last year the defense came in at a respectable 108th. You just don't score on FIU at will. Golden Panthers will shock the world.

#2 - Utah State
They were 2-10 last year but easily could have been 10-2. Coach Guy is really just a good guy, overall. You know. And good things happen to good guys.

#3 Southern Methodist
Religious teams always do well at some point. I mean, when God has your back what's going to stop you? The Horned Frogs can't beat a team backed by God.

#4 Temple
Temple are known as the Owls. And Owls are creatures of the night. Meaning they win all of their night games. So if the schedule works in their favor they could top the polls for the first time since Lee Corso was sober.

#5 Army
I think being called the Black Knights is racist. But that's what the polls need. A little racism. It's about time the brothers get some respect. Just ask Robert Downey Jr.

All right, all right. My attempt at levity. It's Friday. Onto the real shit.

Now, keep in mind, Pre-season CFB polls are the worst. No games have been played yet, key players move all over, whether it's in or out, LMC (see that's funny), and these polls usually get thrown for a loop right around the time the powerhouses stop playing cupcakes. I mean even Meiz could do this and end up halfway right.

Anyway here is my attempt at nailing what looks to be, another chaotic CFB season. It's a hybrid Poll system. I'm guessing who's going to be where come December. With a little pre-season hype mixed in. It's complicated. Try to follow.

Unfortunately, I think we are in for another OSU - Someone Championship game. In doing some research for this post I realized two things. One, Jim Tressel runs as good as a college program in the nation, and two they play in the Big Ten. A conference that, lately, has taken a back seat to the SEC and the PAC 10.

#1 Ohio State - I don't like it just as much as you. Believe me. There is hope though. The perfect season may be lost at USC on Sept. 13th.

#2 Missouri - Pre-season hype mixed in with the fact I think they can go undefeated. I really do. Chase Daniel leading the attack is a legitimate Heisman threat and "they" say this is Pinkels best defense in 8 years.

#3 USC - Trojans always belong in the Top 3. Year in Year out they usually have the best collection of talent. They'd be #1 if I didn't have Dirty Sanchez questions.

#4 Georgia - I had them 6th but just switched it. It has something to do with the history in CFB in which teams are put on pedestials early in the year based on what happened last year and said team getting knocked off, twice.

#5 Oklahoma - Sooners have to have a bad taste in that mouth the past two years. After Noel Devine and Pat White castrated them on national TV last year they have to be motivated to come out and dominate. Bradford is as accurate as any QB in the nation and if they can avoid a late Texas two-step (A&M followed by a trip to Lubbock) they could play for the NT.

I'll stop with the capsules here. Don't want to get period blood on Keef's preview coming Aug 22nd. The rest of the rankings:

#6 Florida
#7 LSU
#8 Texas Tech
#9 Auburn
#10 WVU
#11 Clemson
#12 Wisconsin
#13 Kansas
#14 Tennessee
#15 ASU
#16 BYU
#17 Texas
#18 Oregon St.
#19 Penn St.
#20 Wake Forest
#21 Pitt
#22 Va Tech
#23 Michigan
#24 Fresno St.
#25 Oregon

Throw a surprise in, maybe a Utah gets some play. South Florida? Something completely out of nowhere I may look at a team like North Carolina in the weak ass ACC.

Maybe next week I'll do Bowls. Maybe.

588 comments:

1 – 200 of 588   Newer›   Newest»
El Padrino said...

I am, the Slumpbuster.

Tyler said...

I don't know if anyone talked about this, but Brett Farve was traded to the Jets yesterday.

Tyler said...

S

blue said...

who?

Tyler said...

Bert Favre.

Tyler said...

He is now a Jet.

blue said...

oh, i thought he retired

Tyler said...

You thought wrong.

Beth said...

I wish you would've kept UGA at #6 EP, then I could've taunted you even more at the end of the season. :-)

blue said...

Georgia will lose to Auburn

blue said...

especially since the WWL did a story on the heavyweight coaches in the SEC and left out Tuberville, especially since I think he's the last SEC coach to have an undefeated season

blue said...

especially

blue said...

hey look it's 08-08-08

blue said...

and it's Friday

tem said...

good post. nice work.

tem said...

Russia invaded Georgia.

Beth better watch out for tanks.

blue said...

"Russia invaded Georgia"

that's the olympic spirit

El Padrino said...

beth, your rose colored glasses will have Tim Tebow's semen on them by year end

blue said...

i'm pretty sure I hate the fucking rolling stones

tem said...

UFC tomorrow night. I am excited. Should be some good fights.

tem said...

Paint it Black is good work.

The rest of their stuff can rot in a box somewhere.

blue said...

the one older lady that works here asked me if I had ever seen Elton John in concert....she got a ::Blank Stare::

and then i told her that i'm not old enough to go see him

El Padrino said...

Mad people like Elton, maybe it's my blatant hate for homos but I just dont like his stuff.

El Padrino said...

And the Stones, give me a break.

blue said...

i don't mind EJ's music, but i'm not going to pay 100 dineros to go see him

Keith S said...

"The rest of their stuff can rot in a box somewhere."

LMC?

Keith S said...

If I wanted to see a fat white guy that likes to fuck guys, I'd go to Cedarburg.

blue said...

*fat bald white guy

Keith S said...

"The perfect season may be lost at USC on Sept. 13th."

Yep. Unless Sanchez is really as bad as I think he is.

Keith S said...

"*fat bald white guy"

Well then I'd go to Dublin, OH.

El Padrino said...

"If I wanted to see a fat white guy that likes to fuck guys, I'd go to Cedarburg."

Outstanding.

Out-fucking-standing.

Keith S said...

Eli's backup is David Carr? Awesome

blue said...

people are going crazy trying to get tickets to see Obama speak at Invesco field here during the DNC

El Padrino said...

"Eli's backup is David Carr? Awesome"

Negative. Anthony Wright.

Keith S said...

He's a popular sumbitch

El Padrino said...

Andre Woodson, 3rd

as of right now Carr may be cut come reg. season

Keith S said...

"Negative. Anthony Wright."

Did you say that with a straight face?

blue said...

Anthony Wright is very popular

Keith S said...

GGGGGGmen like UK QBs, huh

Keith S said...

"UFC tomorrow night. I am excited. Should be some good fights."

Brock Lesnar might get kilt

tem said...

"Well then I'd go to Dublin, OH."

as.

tem said...

the brock lesnar fight should be good. st pierre fight should be good, florian fight should be good.

tem said...

""Eli's backup is David Carr? Awesome"

Negative. Anthony Wright."


stop it.

tem said...

yesterday someone bet me 1,000$ that Steve Slaton was WVU's QB and that Pat White was the RB.

And that both were still at WVU.


I don't think they are gonna pay me. I should have picked a lower dollar amount.

tem said...

Digger Bujnoch is the 3rd string center for the G Men.


hehehe Digger.

El Padrino said...

No really. Which makes Elisha all the more indispensible.

El Padrino said...

keef i hope i didnt get period blood on your pant leg with this semi-preview

Beth said...

"beth, your rose colored glasses will have Tim Tebow's semen on them by year end"

LMP? :-)

tem said...

LMP, hilarity

El Padrino said...

yes, just like that

tem said...

wow Beth's P caused a wall.

El Padrino said...

a vagina wall

Beth said...

Now I've put a wall up around it before, but never had it actually CAUSE a wall. That's the power of the P for you!

tem said...

i see what you did there.

Beth said...

I mean I've thought to myself that probably if some of the guys on here ever saw one they'd be stunned senseless, but I never thought that just mentioning one would do it. :-)

El Padrino said...

BREAK THE WALLS DOWWWWWWWWWWN!

El Padrino said...

"I mean I've thought to myself that probably if some of the guys on here ever saw one they'd be stunned senseless, but I never thought that just mentioning one would do it. :-)"


stop it, i speak pussy

tem said...

"I mean I've thought to myself that probably if some of the guys on here ever saw one they'd be stunned senseless, but I never thought that just mentioning one would do it. :-)"

the P is powerful

tem said...

tits doesn't look like she is gonna win golf.

weazy might win.

El Padrino said...

What place am I in?

tem said...

or keef might.

Beth said...

Actually, Keith has been kicking butt lately. My 2nd half has sucked in golf.

tem said...

you are in DFL

tem said...

even TP is beating you.

tem said...

you need to step up your game beth, weazy is beating you.

Tyler said...

So, the Jets have not factored in the Madden Curse. When Faver tears his bicep, Jets fans are going to be pissed.

Tyler said...

If I was the Jets GM, that would have been my entire bargaining position. I would have answered every pick proposal with "Madden curse" and then downgraded the picks.

tem said...

i like the part of the deal that says if the jets trade favre to minnesota that the compensation becomes three first round picks.

Tyler said...

I have heard rumors that they're stopping the printing on the next batch of Madden covers and they're going to change it to a Jets jersey.

tem said...

does the madden curse work on a player who now plays for a different team?

are they gonna change the madden cover to make it a Jets jersey?

tem said...

tyler has a time masheen and is answering questions before i axe them.

Tyler said...

So make sure and get the first cover because it's going to be worth something.

Tyler said...

That is an unfounded rumor that I just started.

Tyler said...

Hopefully the AP picks it up and runs with it though.

Tyler said...

The Madden Curse doesn't care about teams. The Madden Curse only cares about injuring the player that is not worthy to grace it's cover.

tem said...

but john loves bert.

tem said...

for the AP to pick it up you need to say "sources have confirmed...."

Tyler said...

John loves Bert, but the Madden Curse hates everyone.

tem said...

John created a monster with this curse.

tem said...

it'll suck if Aaron Rodgers gets hurt instead because the curse just thinks it need to injure the Packers starting QB.

Tyler said...

"it'll suck if Aaron Rodgers gets hurt instead because the curse just thinks it need to injure the Packers starting QB."

That would be awesome.

Tyler said...

I hope next year they put the entire Patriots Offense on the cover.

El Padrino said...

"I have heard rumors that they're stopping the printing on the next batch of Madden covers and they're going to change it to a Jets jersey."

EA website already has Farve in a Jet jersey

Tyler said...

When you get caught between the Moon and New York City.
I know it's crazy, but it's true.
If you get caught between the Moon and New York City.
The best that you can do...
The best that you can do...
Is fall in love.

Tyler said...

That was playing in Starbucks this morning.

Keith S said...

"keef i hope i didnt get period blood on your pant leg with this semi-preview"

Not really. My preview is where the teams are ranked now, not picking where they'll end up.

Beth said...

"Not really. My preview is where the teams are ranked now, not picking where they'll end up."

So of course ASU is #1.

Keith S said...

But I started writing it last night and just finished #1 and had 200 words already, so I had to cut it back a little because it was getting really long

Keith S said...

lmc

Keith S said...

"So of course ASU is #1."

If they were better, (a really big if I know) they would be #1

Keith S said...

**SPOILER ALERT**

UGA is #1

Keith S said...

Great, I caused a wall

H said...

I almost got fired this week, so I had to lay low. but I appreciate everyone saying I only show up when it's convenient.

El Padrino said...

what did you do fool

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"beth, your rose colored glasses will have Tim Tebow's semen on them by year end"


See? and I was called and idiot for floating the idea that UGA might end up with 4 losses.

H said...

yea, Manny is doing awesome out in L.A. I wouldn't expect anything less. He got what he wanted, he's out of Boston, and now he's playing for a free-agent contract.

Let's see what happens when he signs with someone in the off-season. Then you'll see more Manny-being-Manny bullshit

Keith S said...

He didn't harass enough deadbeats.

H said...

"what did you do fool"

numbers were way too low. this is a numbers business. you don't produce, you get shown the door. I had a few bad weeks and had to fight for my job.

H said...

"He didn't harass enough deadbeats."

essentially

Keith S said...

"See? and I was called and idiot for floating the idea that UGA might end up with 4 losses."

He didn't say they'd lose 4. He said they'd lose to FU.

paula pierce has a vagina said...

"I almost got fired this week, so I had to lay low. but I appreciate everyone saying I only show up when it's convenient."

yes, we were wrong. new memo: H only shows up when doucheton sports is good OR he gets called out for not showing up

El Padrino said...

opening ceremony pics

Keith S said...

"I almost got fired this week"

That's ok. It would give you more time to tour with the band.

paula pierce has a vagina said...

when you 'almost get fired' dont you have to lay low for the rest of your time at the job?

H said...

" H only shows up when doucheton sports is good OR he gets called out for not showing up"

nah, it's Friday and I leave at noon, so I figured I'd check in before I left. of course, I had to Ketchup before doing so in case I got called out...

Keith S said...

"opening ceremony pics"

Lots of Chinese people there

blue said...

call out

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"LMP? :-)"

Wow. Thats's hot.

Girls that will say pussy >>>>>>>>>>> than girls that don't.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"I have heard rumors that they're stopping the printing on the next batch of Madden covers and they're going to change it to a Jets jersey."

I think EA is putting out a downloadable jets version.

paula pierce has a vagina said...

"I think EA is putting out a downloadable jets version."

they are, but maybe thats just for the already printed/ready to release batches

Keith S said...

">>>>>>>>>>> than" is HDH

Beth said...

"Girls that will say pussy >>>>>>>>>>> than girls that don't."

A good(female) friend of mine uses the C word. So that makes me curious - is that >>>>>> or <<<<<< than girls who use the P word?

El Padrino said...

i love a girl who says cunt, but just as much as a girl who says pussy and uses the word tits

El Padrino said...

Godfather 2 VG

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"i love a girl who says cunt, but just as much as a girl who says pussy and uses the word tits"

pretty much sums it up.

El Padrino said...

art of Dark Knight book with

first joker draft

glad it was the one they chose and not this one

H said...

"when you 'almost get fired' dont you have to lay low for the rest of your time at the job?"

nah, cuz they fired someone else instead

H said...

"A good(female) friend of mine uses the C word. So that makes me curious - is that >>>>>> or <<<<<< than girls who use the P word?"

not a fan of girls who use either actually, at least in reference to themselves. I don't mind use of tits though

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

wall?

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"not a fan of girls who use either actually, at least in reference to themselves. I don't mind use of tits though"


Wha? A prudish rock n roller? What a letdown.

Beth said...

"not a fan of girls who use either actually, at least in reference to themselves. I don't mind use of tits though"

One of my less adventurous friends uses the phrase "hoo-hoo" to refer to it, is that acceptable H? :-)

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

aitch is a hoo-hoo and boobies man.

Keith S said...

aitch calls it their "cherry"

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

or tinkle spot

Beth said...

"Tinkle spot" cracked me up. :-)

Tyler said...

"One of my less adventurous friends uses the phrase "hoo-hoo" to refer to it, is that acceptable H? :-)"

I thought it was pronounced hoo-ha. My GF uses that all the time.

Tyler said...

Beth emoticons way too much.

Tyler said...

LOL, ROTFL, ;-)

Tyler said...

Emoticon wall. I wish I knew what the character Tem uses for the wall. That would be perfect for this situation.

Tyler said...

The reflex is an only child, hes waiting in the park.
The reflex is in charge of finding treasure in the dark.

Tyler said...

So why don't you use it?
Try not to bruise it.
Buy time don't lose it.

Beth said...

Sorry Tyler, I'll try to cut down on the emoticons. I didn't realize it was such a problem.

But see, now that I'm cutting down on them, you have no way to know if the above was me being pissy or me just being my usual smartass self...

Tyler said...

The Reflex. Fa-fa-fa-fa-flex.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

brackets

Beth said...

"I thought it was pronounced hoo-ha. My GF uses that all the time."

Actually, I think you're right. I don't use it myself so that sounds more right.

Tyler said...

"But see, now that I'm cutting down on them, you have no way to know if the above was me being pissy or me just being my usual smartass self..."

S or NS. Learn it. Know it. Live it.

Tyler said...

Beth, I think (.)(.) is ok. You should think about changing your name to: (.)(.) McGee.

tem said...

"Emoticon wall. I wish I knew what the character Tem uses for the wall. That would be perfect for this situation."

it is the bracket things that are below the = sign and the - sign.


[][][][][][][][][][]
[][][][][][][][][][]
[][][][][][][][][][]
[][][][][][][][][][]
[][][][][][][][][][]

Tyler said...

Whenever she uses hoo-ha, I try and say "hoo-ha! I got you all in check!" right after it, like the Busta Rhymes song. She says it's highly annoying.

Tyler said...

Ah, brackets. Got it.

tem said...

i have heard it pronounced hoo ha and hoo hoo.


although i think i have heard hoo hoo more referring to the cock.

as in "he put his hoo hoo in her hoo ha."

tem said...

girls who say pussy are > than girls who say cunt.

both are > than girls who refer to it as hoo ha.

Tyler said...

as in "he put his hoo hoo in her hoo ha."

I think that was from a South Park episode.

Tyler said...

Did anyone report on Earl Boykins becoming Italy's highest paid player?

Tyler said...

Also, the Grizz signed Josh Smith to a $58M offer sheet. Hawks co-owner Michael Gearon Jr. said shortly after the season he was committed to keeping Smith.

Beth said...

"S or NS. Learn it. Know it. Live it."

Hell, most of what I say can use the S after it. Except this.

ns

Tyler said...

And I said this last night, but White Chocolate signed with the Clippers. He should have just signed with the And-1 Mix Tour instead.

tem said...

exact this.

tem said...

dude wanted to keep Smith, but not for $58M.

El Padrino said...

everyone is real big on J Campbell this year spiff/zeke

no doubt he has the talent but this year?

Tyler said...

Spiff:

The Lakers and point guard Sun Yue have agreed to terms on a two-season contract, the team confirmed Thursday.

He's known as "the Chinese Magic".

tem said...

i'm impressed to see beth putting in a near full day on here, even though she is being invaded by russians.

tem said...

"He's known as "the Chinese Magic"."

he has AIDS? or had AIDS?

Tyler said...

Ok, because they signed White Chocolate, the Clippers can't resign Shaun Livingston. Two years ago, they had a trade on the table; A.I. for Maggette and Livingston and they backed out. Now, they've got nothing. This is going to sound like the El Retardo, but, man, I wish I was a basketball GM.

Tyler said...

No, but he has his own Starbucks and Movie Theater franchises in China.

tem said...

but instead the clippers have baron davis and white chocolate and no elton brand.

tem said...

"No, but he has his own Starbucks and Movie Theater franchises in China."

did he have a late night talk show?

if not i fail to see how he is like Magic at all.

Beth said...

"i'm impressed to see beth putting in a near full day on here, even though she is being invaded by russians"

I'm tough that way. Plus, the rednecks with the shotguns are keeping them at bay.

tem said...

rednecks are a powerful front line.

they don't die easy. and they reproduce far far faster than they die.

Beth said...

"and they reproduce far far faster than they die"

Even more so in WV cause they don't have to worry about if they're related.

Keith S said...

On this day in 1988...

The Chicago Cubs played host to the Philadelphia Phillies in the first night game ever played at Wrigley Field. The game got rained out in the third inning.

And Elvis died in 1977

Keith S said...

Don't ack like inbreeding doesn't happen in GA

Beth said...

"Don't ack like inbreeding doesn't happen in GA"

Not in Atlanta, I can't speak for the backwoods.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I hate the fuckin' grocery store next door. They're expensive and the sammiches keep getting smaller.

Keith S said...

"I hate the fuckin' grocery store next door. They're expensive and the sammiches keep getting smaller."

MacDowell's?

paula pierce has a vagina said...

"everyone is real big on J Campbell this year spiff/zeke

no doubt he has the talent but this year?"

another new offense to learn for him, but i'll be disappointed if they dont make the playoffs

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Sendik's

El Padrino said...

"Then you have this thing called the delegate, then you got the super delegate and then you got the hidden delegate that nobody knows about. If you’ve never heard of the hidden delegate, that’s like when you’re buying a car and they say the taxes on the car are 20 percent, and then when you look at your statement, they charge you an extra three, that’s the same thing. It’s the hidden fee delegate that nobody knows about who has all this power. They actually get to pick who they want for president."


gotta love Gilbert.

paula pierce has a vagina said...

"He's known as "the Chinese Magic"."

yea, thats really easy to live up to. This sunday will be the first time seeing the guy play, hopefully kobe doesnt break his spirit completely

tem said...

"Even more so in WV cause they don't have to worry about if they're related."

that's why Russia wouldn't dare invade West Virginia.

tem said...

basketball is starting up soon?


already?

goddman it, didn't it just end like 2 weeks ago??

El Padrino said...

who said anything about basketball?

paula pierce has a vagina said...

i did, USA/China sunday

Keith S said...

US won't win the gold

Keith S said...

(not serious)

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I can't wait to watch some good old track & field.

Keith S said...

Is trampoline still an olympic event?

Keith S said...

That's fun to watch because you could see a blown out knee at any moment.

tem said...

girls on trampolines was a great Man Show skit. or whatever it would be called.

Keith S said...

"girls on trampolines was a great Man Show skit. or whatever it would be called."

Yeah that was a good gimmick

paula pierce has a vagina said...

yea trampoline still olympic event

tem said...

i won't be watching much olympics.

Keith S said...

2 week Grease 2 marathon, huh?

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"i won't be watching much olympics."

You & Keith should get a commies only apartment together.

blue said...

tem does not have the olympic spirit

Keith S said...

I watch the olympics, douche

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"I watch the olympics, douche"

That doesn't redeem your other Communist qualities.

Keith S said...

touche

Keith S said...

I still stand by the douche comment, though

paula pierce has a vagina said...

i will be watching almost all the events that are televised, but definitely not rhythmic gymnastics, syncronized swimming, non-sprint track events.

handball and table tennis are pretty sweet to watch, last olympics those events always aired around midnight

Keith S said...

Yeah I'll be DVRing a lot of the shit that's on in the middle of the night. Those are usually the best to watch.

El Padrino said...

fucking 90 and sunny everyday until today into the weekend

El Padrino said...

fucking bitch

Keith S said...

And spiffg likes table tennis?

shocking

blue said...

spiff just wants to root on the asians

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

rhythmic gymnastics is the key event in ESPN International Track & Field for ps2

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"spiff just wants to root on the asians"

and the mexicans

paula pierce has a vagina said...

"And spiffg likes table tennis?"

asian or not, you have to admit table tennis being played by pros is intense

paula pierce has a vagina said...

if the chinese dude gets upset by that dirty korean again, he might get executed on site

paula pierce has a vagina said...

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