Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Ninja Magic

Tuesday, July 8th. Another boring day no doubt. This year has been full of them. Which is odd because the year has seemingly flew by. In any case, its gonna be another boring day, I can already tell. One way I can tell is that I don't have much to write about. Apparently El Tardo is in the same boat because he hasn't written since his gay Hugh Grant piece.

So let's just get into random temlonely type of stuff. Kangaroo is at it again. These past few days she has been nothing but nice to me after months of being a total bitch. Such a bitch that I went and named her Kangaroo. I figure this means she wants something from me. I hope its not money. I ain't giving her money. I'd probably still give her REoTF but that's about the only gift I'd give her. And yes, it is funny that I just referred to REoTF as a "gift." The worse (sic) part is that she is starting to lose her pouch and now is getting to look hot again. In any case my suspicion meter is pegged at full. She's totally under double secret probation.

In other temlonely type stuff one of tem's lunch places hired a new waitress last week. I haven't stopped in though since they hired her. I might stop by today. And to answer the question, the reason I know they hired someone is because the old waitress there told me when her last day was and told me when new girl started. Apparently she thought this was information I had to know. Old waitress got an internship with a graphics design company and she is hoping to use that to get a real job (her words not mine). Anyway, she thought she should be doing more with her 4 year degree. I totally agreed. I thought she should be putting my order in and getting my diet coke. That's what I thought. Of course I was nothing but nice and listened to her story as if I gave a rat's ass. All that time with efmtem made my game rusty as hell, but I am all world when it comes to faking paying attention.

Let's just get to the movie review. I don't think anything happened in sports. At least not anything real important. Oh wait. Screw you Brett Favre. Quit or don't. Make up your mind.

The Dark Knight

This movie is a sequel to that movie where Martin Lawrence gets sent back in time and becomes a knight. See he is black, so he is the Dark Knight. The last movie ended with him saving the day from a dragon or some shit. So this one starts with him needing to save the day from another dragon or some shit. Let's just say it is a fire breathing unicorn. You don't hear much about them, so they must be badass. So this fire breathing unicorn takes this white chick hostage. The white chick is totally hot and clearly has the jungle fever so ML is all about saving her. He definitely wants to get to her before her fever breaks. He assumes he can just kick the fire breathing unicorn's ass. Much hilarity ensues as he blunders rescue attempt after rescue attempt. Finally the fire breathing unicorn dies of old age and Martin and his girl get busy. The End. The best part about this movie is that ML only plays one part because other than Morgan Freeman there were no black people in England at this time. And Morgan was too busy hanging out with Kevin Costner.

1 helmet sticker out of 5.

571 comments:

1 – 200 of 571   Newer›   Newest»
blue said...

Martin Lawerence can be funny

tem said...

rex grossman can throw a touchdown pass.

blue said...

prove it

tem said...

you first.

tem said...

my statement is more easily proved than yours.

tem said...

proved or proven?

tem said...

damn english and its nuances.

tem said...

english is the worse.

blue said...

proverbial

tem said...

maybe i will go on a mid morning run.

tem said...

probably can't make a run because blue is quitting and his boss is not there so he is bored.

tem said...

if the TCS were this week blue would win.

tem said...

too bad they are not.

tem said...

where is el pad? he went on vacation or something?

blue said...

turks and carcaios or something

blue said...

why does comedy central keep giving Dave Atell TV shows, he's awful

tem said...

Kuroda pitched well.

He is a furry ball

tem said...

wft is dave attell?

thats right turks and crackers. i hope his daughter enjoyed the flight.

blue said...

dave atell is the worse comic in america.

yet he gets to host tv shows on comedy central...like "the gong show" now

tem said...

chipper and the .400 talk is over.

thanks be to.

tem said...

is he that ugly mother fucker that ain't funny?

blue said...

cmblue watched the bachelorette's final show last night...i gouged my eyes out and poured rubbing alcohol in them

blue said...

"is he that ugly mother fucker that ain't funny?"

probably

blue said...

btw-

some dude from colorado who is a "pro snowboarder" won the bachelorette.

Pro snowboarder is code for "unemployed"

tem said...

is there really a winner on that show?

tem said...

at least he will get to REoHF

tem said...

"i gouged my eyes out and poured rubbing alcohol in them"

you either heal quick or are an incredible blind typer.

blue said...

i don't type with my eyes

tem said...

2 man show today.

tem said...

"i don't type with my eyes"

why not?

tem said...

i have been useless at work for 2 weeks in a row now.

blue said...

I have been useless at work for 2 years in a row

tem said...

congrats

tem said...

now you get to bring those new skills to the underwear factory or wherever you are going to work next.

blue said...

yes, underwear

tem said...

that's what i thought.

blue said...

welcome to the party Torii Hunter..now if he could just hit 2 HRs in every game, he'd make me happy

tem said...

steal me some boxer briefs.

those are the bestest.

tem said...

torii still is in the majors?

blue said...

i'm going to offer him to deluxe now because he's coming off a 2HR game, so it's time to sell high

tem said...

good plan.

tem said...

or try to trade him to el pad.

el pad's assistant is in. maybe you can overwhelm him with your knowledge.

blue said...

EP's team is like mine, it wins games, but there isn't anybody on his team that I really want...other than Kazmir

tem said...

winning is everything.

Beth said...

Damn, I almost hate to post a comment when blue and tem are enjoying some quality "alone time" together...

Nice movie review tem - I can understand freak pre-buying tix for it. That fire-breathing unicorn would be cool to see in IMAX.

tem said...

i'd trade braun for wright.

braun sucks.

tem said...

yeah the CGI in Dark Knight is hook da hook.

blue said...

"i'd trade braun for wright."

you had your chance, now you suck, both webb and braun suck

tem said...

but i have that asian guy now.

he just 1 hit the Braves.

tem said...

beth did more records fall in the swimming stuff?

blue said...

"I can understand freak pre-buying tix for it. That fire-breathing unicorn would be cool to see in IMAX."


Martin Lawerence and the white girl have a very racy socks scene.

tem said...

socks in IMAX would cause REitP for Freak.

Beth said...

"beth did more records fall in the swimming stuff?"

The "swimming stuff" actually ended on Sunday, but tons of records were broken. I just looked it up and 9 world records were set and 21 American records were broken, including one by 41-year old Dara Torres.

(And so that spiff doesn't feel the need to clarify my comment, let me go ahead and say that some of the records were in the same event.)

tem said...

the 41 yr old is the one that the douche from espn.com just assumes is on roids right?

like he wanted to be relevant for a minute and posted the article first...

tem said...

or he is from the mort school of reporting and just writes whatever the fuck he wants like he is on some blog.

tem said...

wall?

tem said...

that wall went up suddenly.

blue said...

americans olympians don't take roids

tem said...

americans olympians don't take roids anymore they moved onto better performance enhancers that are not tracable.


*fixed

blue said...

ESPN has lost all credibility in my mind...pretty much whenever they let eltardo have a tv show and hired rick reilly, that was the end

blue said...

ahahahahaah

vick

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

blegh

blue said...

ESPN commenters are the best

"Beasley was impressive. But he hasn't faced the elite defenders in the league"


gee, ya think. You mean the elite defenders don't play summer league? shocking

tem said...

ESPN had little to begin with. they are a news program.

the news is worthless.

tem said...

except when the news was with huey lewis.

Beth said...

"the 41 yr old is the one that the douche from espn.com just assumes is on roids right?"

Yep, that's the same one. Thing is, she has volunteered to be tested under some new hi-tech voluntary (for now) pilot testing program, and the U.S. Anti-Doping Agency CEO has said, "You'd have to be a fool to be dirty and be in this program."

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I enjoy the musical stylings of Blondie.

tem said...

does today suck too deke?

tem said...

she's clean because

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Today seems okay. I feel a little ill, though.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

kegfdeke has still not contacted me in any way.

I AM AN ATTENTION WHORE! GIVE ME ATTENTION NOW!

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

that was fun

tem said...

maybe cgdeke told kegfdeke to back off....

blue said...

holt vs torres fight

it lasted a total of :59 and had 3 knockdowns including one guy getting knocked the fuck out cold.

tem said...

i saw that fight.

knocked the fuck out down to one knee.

blue said...

that's the way boxing should be

blue said...

skunk patch ♥ favre

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"maybe cgdeke told kegfdeke to back off...."

No sir.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Deadspin sucks without Leitch.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Phil Helmuth's grand entrance to the main event.

blue said...

Deadspin sucks

*fixed

blue said...

the suns want tyronne lue and brent barry? Steve Kerr hates winning

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Kerr is trying to build the old Bulls minus MJ.

tem said...

"Phil Helmuth's grand entrance to the main event."

did he show up late again?

tem said...

and then lose early?

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"did he show up late again?"

Of course

blue said...

Helmuth is good

blue said...

not as good as matt damon in rounders, but still good

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I'm gonna chug a mocha frappuccino in a moment

tem said...

he is annoying.

blue said...

I like EA better than Jenn Sturger, just and fyi

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Me too

blue said...

awww yeah, Idaho opens the season against Arizona...upset special

tem said...

"Jenn Sturger"

she is still relevant?

is she on TV?

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

hmm. Somebody fucked up yesterday. I'm not falling on the sword this time around. Gettin' sick of that shit.

paula pierce has a vagina said...

if furry balls would of gotten a hold yesterday, they would have had the best pitching day ever, 3 saves and a 1 hit shutout, im toast

tem said...

WVU plays Auburn this year.

Not sure why we are scheduling games that are challenging.

first we need to learn how to beat Pitt and USF.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"she is still relevant?"

No. She's jealous of EA, so now she's trying to make news.

tem said...

furry balls has nobody to get holds.

i can drop soup though or DL him for a spot.

CC is taking his spot.

paula pierce has a vagina said...

EA definitely >>>> sterger by way of sterger's face

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Damn. The mail's here

tem said...

oh wait, i dropped soup awhile ago.

blue said...

and she has a bit part in some movie coming out, so she's doing interviews

tem said...

"No. She's jealous of EA, so now she's trying to make news."


how does she make news? who listens to her? she has a news outlet to makes news from still?

tem said...

irregardless i'd wreck sterger.

tem said...

HUNGRY

JFreak said...

I'm not here to make friends.

paula pierce has a vagina said...

marisa miller

HAWT

isiah thomas said...

Not sure why we are scheduling games that are challenging.

hopefully they aren't night games, WVU's coach is old.

Keith S said...

"awww yeah, Idaho opens the season against Arizona...upset special"

Arizona sucks

Keith S said...

Unless you were talking about UofA upsetting Idaho

Keith S said...

We're coming up on the 1 year anniversary of tem's movie reviews.

Keith S said...

On this day in 1984...

John McEnroe routed Jimmy Connors, 6-1, 6-1, 6-2, in the Wimbledon men's singles final

blue said...

"Arizona sucks"


anytime Idaho can beat a Pac-10 school its an upset...considering that Idaho has as many wins in the last 3 years combined as UofA won last year alone.

Keith S said...

So your saying Idaho is the worse?

isiah thomas said...

vick owes "between 10 and 50 million" to creditors.

10 and 50 are not close, how can he not have a more accurate range?

isiah thomas said...

re: 41 year old swimmer

you have to at least be suspicious of this chick right? She comes back from giving birf (I think) and not swimming for a while - to breaking WRs???

blue said...

"So your saying Idaho is the worse?"


yes, they are a fixture in the ESPN bottom 10

isiah thomas said...

You can't immediately draw the shamoff conclusion that she's roided up but you can't be totally naive either.

Keith S said...

"you have to at least be suspicious of this chick right? She comes back from giving birf (I think) and not swimming for a while - to breaking WRs???"

I think that's fair. But to write a long article on a major platform about her probably being on something, without having any knowledge of it, is pretty irresponsible.

Keith S said...

"10 and 50 are not close, how can he not have a more accurate range?"

He can't count

blue said...

I think their one win last year was against a 1-AA school, or maybe D-2.

Keith S said...

"I think their one win last year was against a 1-AA school, or maybe D-2."

They need a better coach. Someone like Erickson

isiah thomas said...

without having any knowledge of it, is pretty irresponsible.

fo sho

isiah thomas said...

without having any knowledge of it, is pretty irresponsible.

but then the wwl can have a Sportsnation poll about it, then have a SC special episode about it, then have the Sportsreporters argue about it, then have an OTL special about it, then shift coverage of it to ABC.

isiah thomas said...

and you know Skip Bayless will be included in the argument process somehow.

Keith S said...

But Pat Forde is a douche anyway.

blue said...

they will get summer sanders on tv to talk about back when she swam with the 41yo chick

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Vick filed chapter 11 today. What a guy.

blue said...

pat forde cried when barbaro died.


that's all you need to know about him

Keith S said...

"they will get summer sanders on tv to talk about back when she swam with the 41yo chick"

That's ok.

Keith S said...

"Vick filed chapter 11 today. What a guy."

No kidding?

Tyler said...

We need a daily update from Meiz on the Favre wants play front.

Tyler said...

I heard that the news is still Favre wants play.

Keith S said...

Favre who?

Tyler said...

His website is not very informative.

blue said...

"Favre who?"

the guy in 'something about Mary'

Tyler said...

The guy from Something About Mary was Brett Fahvera.

Keith S said...

I have to go meet with our DJ tonight. I hope rev is nice in person.

isiah thomas said...

I heard Vick filed for bankruptcy today, and he wants to be traded.

Tyler said...

According to Yahoo!, Favre had a 0.0 QB rating when he played for Atlanta. That is lie. He was 0/5 with 2 INTs and was sacked once. That's gotta be way less than 0.0. Yahoo! is Favre biased, just like ESPN.

blue said...

i haven't heard anything about the arena league playoffs around here, so i'm assuming the Crush lost in the 2nd round

blue said...

can you have a less than 0 rating?

Tyler said...

::FAVRE UPDATE:: Brett Favre sent a text message to the Packers GM. More details as soon as they are available. Thank-you for watching the World-Wide Leader.

tem said...

san jose beat them.

Keith S said...

tem knows AFL

JFreak said...

"can you have a less than 0 rating?"

no.

Keith S said...

tem watches AFL whilst cutting out photos of the Good Egg girl to paste all over his wallz

Tyler said...

I guess they list a negative as a 0.0, but you can have a negative rating. Grossman did it in two games two seasons ago if I remember correctly.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Favre should die.

Tyler said...

I did some research, the reason they list a negative QB rating as 0.0 is because any negative component is factored as zero.

tem said...

i should decide what to do with my 2 tickets to arena bowl.

Tyler said...

And in 2006, Rex Grossman had a 1.3 and a 0.0 QB Rating.

tem said...

cleveland vs philly and grand rapids vs san jose are left.

winners meet in arena bowl in New Orleans.

tem said...

tem watches AFL whilst cutting out photos of the Good Egg girl to tape all over his wallz


***fixed. i can't use paste. court order.

Keith S said...

"i should decide what to do with my 2 tickets to arena bowl."

Does the good egg waitress like AFL?

Tyler said...

Too bad it's not Grand Rapids vs San Jose in the Arena Bowl. That would be a ratings monster.

Tyler said...

Coverage of Brett Favre taking a dump would get better ratings than the Arena Bowl.

Tyler said...

It's science.

Tyler said...

I haven't had normal Cheez-Its in a long time. I'm kind of disappointed.

isiah thomas said...

Cheez-its are filling....and delicious.

tem said...

obviously, because it is brett favre.

tem said...

"Does the good egg waitress like AFL?"

i don't know. i thought about axing someone to go with me, but then i figured i'd have to pay for their flight.

Tyler said...

I prefer White Cheddar or Parmesan and Garlic Cheez-Its.

Tyler said...

And speaking of Ninjas, this is probably the greatest thing I've ever read on the internet. The latest story arc involves Dracula and his Moon base. Special appearance by Michael Jackon, Paul McCartney and Tupac. It is the awesomeness.

Tyler said...

"i don't know. i thought about axing someone to go with me, but then i figured i'd have to pay for their flight."

Unless you can get a Fun Fare, that would be way more expensive than $108 flowers.

blue said...

ninjas are overrated

Tyler said...

Pirates are overrated. Ninjas are underrated. Even Mel Kiper agrees with me.

tem said...

ninjas and pirates are equally cool.

blue said...

ninjas have TUP, but they are overrated

Keith S said...

"I prefer White Cheddar or Parmesan and Garlic Cheez-Its."

I had some hot 'n spicy cheez its last week. They were alright

tem said...

ninja vs pirate debate is too lame even for LOV.

tem said...

its played out.

tem said...

WGN had an ALF marathon yesterday.

Tyler said...

I am going to write/draw an on-line comic about Aitch called "Skip Tracer".

Tyler said...

I will try hot 'n spicy cheez-its and will advice.

JFreak said...

No afternoon beisbol.

sadface.

blue said...

hot n spicy they are not

blue said...

does anyone else eat Tim's Cascade Jalapeno chips?

not sure of the geographic distribution, but they are some tasty chips

blue said...

lunchtime

tem said...

Skip Tracer sounds promising.

tem said...

you can have him calling mike vick in jail.

i heard vick is gonna file for bankruptcy.

tem said...

and have him call teejer.

just so teejer can say "what are you gonna do when a dude spits in your woman's mouth?"

or however that went.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"I am going to write/draw an on-line comic about Aitch called "Skip Tracer"."

Awesome

Tyler said...

Excellent idears, Tem.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Dr. McNinja is too ridiculous for me.

Tyler said...

I'm thinking that his side-kick is his look-alike bassist, but that might get confusing.

Tyler said...

Maybe there's a storyline where Aitch gets cloned by an evil scientist but somehow he escapes and is able to capture the scientist and then turns him in for credit card fraud. Then he finds and recruits the clone to play bass in his band because their original bassist recently got killed by a David Ortiz foul ball to the head at a Sawx game.

Keith S said...

Can you throw a Boston plague epidemic into the storyline?

tem said...

that is a great story line.

tem said...

a story line with H and his topless roommate would be good too.

Tyler said...

"Can you throw a Boston plague epidemic into the storyline?"

At some point I'm thinking that they time travel ten years in the future where the entire city of Boston is walled off and turned into a penitentiary/lawless society; Escape From New York style.

Keith S said...

I know where you can get a time machine.

Tyler said...

Oh snap! Yeah, they have to drive to Wisconsin to use Meiz's time machine. Good lookin' out Keith.

Tyler said...

See? This shit writes itself.

tem said...

dr. mcninja is crazy stuff

Tyler said...

Meiz has to answer the door wearing his Mullin jersey and a Brewers hat.

Keith S said...

"Meiz has to answer the door wearing his Mullin jersey and a Brewers hat."

And George Karl is over for dinner.

Keith S said...

This is going to be an epic story

Keith S said...

older

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