Friday, July 25, 2008

Jogging (Soft J)

Remember when yous were a kid. And after breakfast you'd go outside and play shit all day. Come home like around dinner time, eat with the fam, shower then go back outside for a little hanging out on the stoop? Them were the days man.

Spongeball, Stickball, Wiffle, Football, Basketball, Softball, Kickball, Handball, Racquetball.

You rang bells. You played ball.

At night, ya hung out on the corner, the schoolyard, outside the Arab's or someones stoop. Maybe you played some manhunt or maybe you walked the hood. Polliticking.

Now we got kids that stay inside all day, learning to play yazz flute or mastering the newest PC Game out on the market. Studying and shit. WFT?

Fuck books. They are a goddam choking hazard anyway. Fucking Poetry makes me sick. Stanzas? The only Stanzas I know come from Nissan. If I ever get blessed to having a son and he comes home with some fucking poetry shit I'm gonna kick the ever-loving shit out of him. Poetry leads to homosexuality. It's a proven fact.

And Gyms. And Jogging. I tried both. The reason why I don't do either is because they both suck. I hate them. Weightlifting is for atha-leets. Jogging is just so fucking boring it's unbelievable how popular it actually is. And I was on the track team in high school so I know. I get my excercise from playing basketball and football. How much weight you can lift does not add any inches to your pecker. I hope everyone is aware of that. Also gyms have diseases in them. You know that I know that that's a fact.

Anyway onto the picks:

Razorbacks -4 over the Cocks. Just a gut feeling.
Penn State - 7 over Sconnie. Joe Pa peed blood this morning. You know his ass is ready for this one.

Jags over Dolphins, lay the 9 points. Fins are scurred.
Eagles over Browns, Philly giving 2. They are underated.
Chargers over Cheifs, laying a dozen. All night long like Lionel baby.

What?

I'm practicing.

500 comments:

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Beth said...

Saw The Dark Knight in IMAX last night - very solid movie. As hyped as Heath Ledger's performance has been, he was still better than I expected. His performance was up there with Anthony Hopkins in Silence of the Lambs I thought for creepy bad guys. Give that guy an Oscar.

But I totally agree with Spiff, Maggie Gyllenhaal was so not right for that role.

tem said...

i'm practicing = hilarity

tem said...

beth ♥s dead ledger

El Padrino said...

"His performance was up there with Anthony Hopkins in Silence of the Lambs I thought for creepy bad guys."

I mentioned that on my blog a week or so a ago, Heath does to Joker what Hopkins did to Hannibal.

And remember Hannibal was only on screen in that movie for a total of about 17 minutes or something like that

tem said...

six-year, $67 million contract for montana ellis? el tardo will be writing about that contract three years from now.

tem said...

i think i am going to see Dark Knight this weekend.

tem said...

when is blue's last day at the old job?

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

polliticking is hook da hook

blue said...

i might try and swing a darkknight/stepbrothers double feature


one in which i sneak into the stepbrothers movie, like I was 10

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I think its next week

blue said...

reliving your youth is the best

blue said...

"when is blue's last day at the old job?"

toooooooday

tem said...

sneaking into movies is whatta good.

Beth said...

"I mentioned that on my blog a week or so a ago, Heath does to Joker what Hopkins did to Hannibal."

I guess I should go read your blog review then. :-)

blue said...

so i'll probably be MIA a bunch the next couple of weeks until i figure out the lay of the land

tem said...

reliving your youth is the best, except the except opposite.


*fixed.

tem said...

blue you have to put your foot down with the new folks on day one and tell them from 7am until 5pm is your blogging time.

tem said...

you'll work when the blog goes zoidberg.

El Padrino said...

tardo has a man crush on monta

El Padrino said...

I guess I should go read your blog review then. :-)

dont bother

not a review, going this weekend, i just mentioned that from reading ever other review

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Blue ain't doin' shit today

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

New El Tardo?

Tyler said...

Josh Childress signed with some team in Europe. $20 mill/3 years.

El Padrino said...

laughing at T

blue said...

i am amazingly horrible at Combat Wars

El Padrino said...

it's Friday; you ain't got no job... and you ain't got shit to do

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"Josh Childress signed with some team in Europe. $20 mill/3 years."


Are you serious?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

WHY???????????????

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"i am amazingly horrible at Combat Wars"

Yeah. I looked at you profile. Goo lord, man.

I was on a roll last night.

blue said...

i have to clean up my office, which is maybe the largest task i've undertaken in the 3 years i've been here

blue said...

"Yeah. I looked at you profile. Goo lord, man."

it's hard without a real mouse...and the first 2 games i didn't know how to run/move

i've gotten significantly better the last few times

tem said...

do you use a fake mouse?

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"it's hard without a real mouse"

Well duh

blue said...

"do you use a fake mouse?"

whatever those touchpad things on laptops are called

tem said...

perhaps the first must read book i have heard about in ages:

"Dustin Diamond will lay bare the behind-the-scenes secrets from his years as Screech on Saved By The Bell in a new book.

The actor, 31, who played the lovable nerd on the U.S. sitcom and its spin-offs from 1989 to 2000, will expose for the first time what Diamond and his castmembers, including Mario Lopez and Elizabeth Berkley, got up to off set.

Behind The Bell, which Diamond will pen with the aid of a ghostwriter, will reveal "sexual escapades among cast members, drug use, and hardcore partying," reports People.com. "

tem said...

SBtB might make tem read.

tem said...

"whatever those touchpad things on laptops are called"

touch pads.

tem said...

and i don't care if SBtB book news is cumfastery.

tem said...

it was news to me and that's all that matters.

blue said...

sbtb book would be good if it wasn't written by a douche


what's he going to say "I watched zack and kelly doin' it"

"i saw slater make out with mr.belding"

because you know the chicks weren't giving him any love offscreen, not even violet

El Padrino said...

man a young kelly kapowski, loaded, naked

mmmm good

tem said...

"Wrestler Hulk Hogan's daughter Brooke is considering baring all for Playboy magazine."


did they mean Playgirl? Playboy doesn't show boy parts right? Brooke has a penis, Hef doesn't know this?

tem said...

"what's he going to say "I watched zack and kelly doin' it""

maybe he says he watched zack and kelly get hammered and do it. then when kelly was passed out he had his way with her.

tem said...

maybe he'll say all the extras had to give him a BJ.

tem said...

maybe lisa was a cockhound.

tem said...

maybe kelly and jessi were always hooking up with each other.

tem said...

SBtB maybe Z

blue said...

""Wrestler Hulk Hogan's daughter Brooke is considering baring all for Playboy magazine."

thanks temfast

tem said...

Kelsey Grammer needs to stop it with his heart attack crap.

he had a heart attack and his wife saved him and his spirit saved him and he had an out of body experience and he was talking with God about Frasier and how he was like the best TV character ever, except the except opposite, and how Niles was a douche and how Shelly Long fucked everyone on the Cheers set.

blue said...

jessie is going to be on that lesbian show "the l word" on showtime

i've never seen the show, but if she get nekkid and hooks up, maybe i'll buy showtime

tem said...

news to me is all that matters.

tem said...

jessie is a lesbian?

El Padrino said...

Showgirls baby, showgirls

tem said...

so that makes her a lesbian?

tem said...

does that mean demi moore is bi because she was in a half assed version of showgirls?

El Padrino said...

wait a second. I aint sayin she's a lesbian, i'm just repping her movie.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

So the Packers extended Brady Poppinga for 4 years at 17mil, yet they haven't bothered to sign their #1 running back. That makes no sense to me.

tem said...

oh, ok.

tem said...

they are going to trade brett favre for earnest graham.

El Padrino said...

OJ played an astronaut in a movie!!????

hahahahahaaa

blue said...

and cadillac

blue said...

and cadillac

blue said...

and cadillac

blue said...

and cadillac

tem said...

yes blue and cadillac.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Tyler's being dealt with this week. And I still haven't had my end of the week HR binge begin.

El Padrino said...

yahoo hasnt updated yet

blue said...

easy there

blue said...

that bluejays orioles game that lasted 2 days fucked Yahoo up

tem said...

yahoo! gets fucked up easily.

blue said...

nihlists

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"yahoo hasnt updated yet"

Updated what?

El Padrino said...

fantasy stats

what else?

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I'm not having any problems. Never do.

El Padrino said...

good to hear, everyone else is though

blue said...

la dee fricken dah meiz

blue said...

meiz must have magic internets

or magic beans

El Padrino said...

him and his time masheen are at it again

blue said...

wft is a witrado

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Wrong blog. Computer is too slow for my tabbed browsing skills.

tem said...

alt tabbing is key.

tem said...

i don't know about everyone else, but i am really tired today.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I'm cereal. I never notice any problems with stats being wrong or updated. Where do you people have these problems?

tem said...

witrado is el tardo's cousin.

tem said...

it never updated the stats for last nights games.

if you look at your team stats for yesterday it will read as all blanks.

tem said...

so the totals in the head 2 head match ups never got updated.

El Padrino said...

goddam fool

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"so the totals in the head 2 head match ups never got updated."

Mine is accurate

blue said...

"Mine is accurate"

ok

blue said...

ignorance does not = accuracy

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Well. It appears to be.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

You guys get all wound up over this, hey?

blue said...

so you don't want credit for Han-Ram's HR last night?

El Padrino said...

no, but we are saying Yahoo has not updated last night's fantasy stats and your saying they did

it's like, the sky is blue and your like, no way, it's purple

blue said...

it's like we're saying that it's daytime, but meiz is saying, not here, it's dark outside

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Hm. Oh well.

blue said...

hilarity

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I'm just not gonna worry about something that I can't fix.

El Padrino said...

"I'm just not gonna worry about something that I can't fix."

Meiz did you have a retard omelete this morning for breakfast.

Tyler said...

Prii Count = 10

Tyler said...

and 100

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

What's the point of worrying about something you can't control?

Tyler said...

"Ken Rosenthal, of FOXSports.com, reports the Los Angeles Dodgers were considering making a trade for Arizona Diamondbacks RP Jon Rauch but were unwilling to part with IF Ivan DeJesus, according to a source with knowledge of the situation."

Awesome. Way to go Management.

El Padrino said...

I'M NOT WORRIED

tem said...

never trade jesus.

tem said...

we're not worried, we're just saying it hasn't updated yet.

tem said...

"ignorance does not = accuracy"

yes it does.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"I'M NOT WORRIED"

So then who gives a shit? Why bother mentioning it, if it happens on a regular basis?

El Padrino said...

"So then who gives a shit? Why bother mentioning it, if it happens on a regular basis?"

this discussion is painfully over

ToddPacker said...

the mets are in 1st place.... how's that taste willie

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

When was it ever a discussion?

El Padrino said...

TP!

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Old balls must be off today

ToddPacker said...

i haven't been in vegas for 24 hours yet and i'm already down 200 on the tables

ToddPacker said...

old ballz.... funny

Keith S said...

I haven't heard the word "pecker" in a minute

blue said...

only 200 bones isn't bad for the first day

ToddPacker said...

what's up ep?

Keith S said...

"i might try and swing a darkknight/stepbrothers double feature"

I'm doing that tomorrow morning. AMC has $5 shows before noon. Catch Stepbrothers first and then DK

ToddPacker said...

"only 200 bones isn't bad for the first day"

true... but it i think the actual gambling time is only 30 minutes

Keith S said...

"i haven't been in vegas for 24 hours yet and i'm already down 200 on the tables"


It's people like you who go there and blow the family nest egg that built that town... not this pretty boy!

tem said...

HUNGRY

blue said...

if 200$ is TP's family nest egg, they must have a shitty nest

Keith S said...

Cousin Eddie said that, you smarmy bastard

El Padrino said...

Vegas Vacation

El Padrino said...

man I miss Vegas

ToddPacker said...

"if 200$ is TP's family nest egg, they must have a shitty nest"

no nest... just a cardboard box

Keith S said...

"man I miss Vegas"

Touche

blue said...

smarm smarm smarm

ToddPacker said...

lots of famous hoops players/coaches at the wynn... i saw coach k at the 25 cent slots

blue said...

oh yeah, Team USA is in Vegas this week

ToddPacker said...

the ti pirate show is terrible

Keith S said...

Is old man river rocking the jorts and jat in Vegas?

Keith S said...

TP in Vegas

Keith S said...

"the ti pirate show is terrible"

Yes.

Keith S said...

mize after the Mickey D's challenge

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

TP's paying good money to be on the inter webs, no?

blue said...

no free internet?

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

that's just foul

ToddPacker said...

thanks for that pic, keith

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"no free internet?"

I paid $1 a minute, $5 minimum. I was on for like 7 minutes before I decided it was time to pull the plug.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Although TP probably has a laptop with an internet card, or some fancy shit like that

ToddPacker said...

"TP's paying good money to be on the inter webs, no?"

$12.99 per day for inter web.... i took a laptop from work with me... gotta check email

blue said...

oh yeah, fancy laptop and its fancy wi-fi

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

TP must get important e-mails

Keith S said...

I thought only Bill Gates and God had wi-fi

Tyler said...

Great. Catalog Production meeting at 10am. Those are always brutal. Great way to start a weekend.

ToddPacker said...

Although TP probably has a laptop with an internet card, or some fancy shit like that

internet card doesn't work for me

Keith S said...

"Great. Catalog Production meeting at 10am. Those are always brutal. Great way to start a weekend."

See if Rick Neuheisal will join our FFB league

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"internet card doesn't work for me"

So do you plug that fucker in the wall?

Keith S said...

TP
Are you staying at the Wynn?

Keith S said...

Wi-fi, mize. Wi-fi. Get it. Know it. Love it.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"Wi-fi, mize. Wi-fi. Get it. Know it. Love it."

TP just said it doesn't work for him. Am I mistaken?

El Padrino said...

those pics were just foul

ToddPacker said...

"TP
Are you staying at the Wynn?"

no, the wedding is at the wynn and mant people are staying there, but we are staying at TI

El Padrino said...

Meiz has a bucket of rocks for a head today

Keith S said...

"TP just said it doesn't work for him. Am I mistaken?"

An internets card is different than wi-fi.

Keith S said...

"no, the wedding is at the wynn and mant people are staying there, but we are staying at TI"

Ah, ok. I think they have War at TI.

NS

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

By internets card, I mean wireless card.

ToddPacker said...

wi-fi is working... to use TI wi-fi the charge 12.99 a day... i have a verizon card that should work without tapping into the TI wireless, but the verizon card is not set up to work with my log on and i need admin priv to change the settings

Keith S said...

"By internets card, I mean wireless card."

They aren't the same, so by internets card you mean internets card

Keith S said...

To make up for the previous pics...

For EP

ToddPacker said...

"Ah, ok. I think they have War at TI.
"

sweet

El Padrino said...

awesome, i love the mexican in the background

ToddPacker said...

breakfast time... later

Keith S said...

"i love the mexican in the background"

Kim K's ass is in that picture too, mize

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"They aren't the same, so by internets card you mean internets card"

So's your face.








NEXT

Keith S said...

You win

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I know

blue said...

wow, intriguing

El Padrino said...

On a deserted island:

A machete
Kim K
Coco
once female cow
once chicken
Fruit tree of some kind

I'm straight.

El Padrino said...

*one

Keith S said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
blue said...

a once female cow? is that like a cow who has had a sex change operation

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Is the female cow for a little bestiality show with Kim?

blue said...

why wouldn't you want a rooster, so the chicken could keep laying eggs?

blue said...

it's like EP's own little island of misfit toys

Keith S said...

blue is posting on WWL again..

Let's talk about Rod Smith and how he should be a definite Hall of Famer

blue said...

he should be

El Padrino said...

"Is the female cow for a little bestiality show with Kim?"

See Machete.

blue said...

i don't really have any reason to back up that argument though

El Padrino said...

"why wouldn't you want a rooster, so the chicken could keep laying eggs?"

good point

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

You can't just go killing the cow right away. What about all that milk?

blue said...

LoV...where dreams come to be ruined

El Padrino said...

"You can't just go killing the cow right away. What about all that milk?"

milk would be tough to store, i may need a cooler with an ice machine too

otherwise where will i keep the steaks?

tem said...

"why wouldn't you want a rooster, so the chicken could keep laying eggs?"

do chickens need roosters to lay eggs?

i have no clue how chicken egg laying works.

El Padrino said...

me neither, i'm assuming blue knows cuz he looks like a chicken

tem said...

just have 2 cows so they can reproduce and you can have veal.

tem said...

per wiki:

Roosters are not required, as hens lay eggs whether or not they are fertilized (see Egg (food)).

blue said...

neat

blue said...

c'mon yahoo, quit being pussies

tem said...

blue wants to know if he took the lead on furry balls.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"milk would be tough to store"

Boil it.

blue said...

blue wants to know who he has to play in order to catch those furry balls

El Padrino said...

Can you boil spoiled milk? Will that unspoil it?

we need answers

tem said...

maybe you boil it ahead of time then it doesn't spoil?

tem said...

chickens not needing roosters to make eggs is key knowledge.

tem said...

i feel like i learnt something important.

El Padrino said...

defintely key knowledge

kodiac said...

chickens not needing roosters to make eggs is key knowledge.

indeed; I was just debating that with fmkod last week. She was right

blue said...

yeah, if you're ever going to start an egg farm, now you don't have to invest any money in cocks

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