Friday, July 11, 2008

Did anyone die while I was gone?

Gone on a Caribbean island for a week it's time for me to react to some sports news that I missed while I was sunning my massive chest and glorious biceps.

C.C Sabathia is a Brewer.
El Pad's take : Anyone mention that he's only going to get fatter now that he lives in Wisconsin? He'll be 397 by September.

Rich Harden is a Cub.
El Pad's take : Just more practice for the Cub's medical staff.

Elton Brand spurns Clips to sign with the 76ers.
El Pads's take : Clippers run a perfect blueprint on how not to run a sports franchise. Baron Davis has to feel foolish now that he AND Maggette are gone. Boom Fizzle is more like it.

Corey Hart is an all-star over David Wright.
El Pad's tale : Deke how many times did you and your dirty hippie sister vote?

Creamer shoots 60
El Pad's take : TWSSS

Jones faces felony drug charge.
El Pad's take : Matt who? Matt Jonesssssssssssss! Cutting up coke with a credit card just about seals the deal Matty. See ya in the Europe NFL! Enjoy Brussels!

Moises Alou is out for the eternity.
El Pad's take : Shocker.

Other news and notes, Mets won 6 straight and are 1.5 games out of first. Remember the proposed bet keef? Would have been fun seeing if they pulled ahead or not with some name changes on the line. Indians lost 10 straight prior to last night. Drew Carey you suck. Something major happened in Nascar. Ask Zeke or Temnascar or Freak.

My vacation was cross between a threesome with Angelina Jolie and Marissa Miller and the David Tyree catch. In a word it was fucking fantastic. It was 86 and sunny everyday. The food was very good. The people were very accommodating. The liquor and beer flowed like gravy on thanksgiving. The kid loves the beach and water. We sunk a small sailboat. I snorkeled off the coast of one of the most beautiful islands in the world. I'll go in to details on my blog in a day or so. With pics.

Related, airports still suck Llama cock.

783 comments:

1 – 200 of 783   Newer›   Newest»
Beth said...

Welcome back EP, even if it does include some Met gloating.

tem said...

i did not die, but other people did while you were gone.

tem said...

in fact, the second sentence of deke's post whilst you were gone was "Gfdeke's stepdad died today."

tem said...

vball was another loss because the other good ath a lete on our team (yes i count myself as one) decided not to try very hard again.

he's cost us three wins in a row. i'm looking for a replacement for him or me. i can't stand losing.

tem said...

i fly out for vacation today.

i'm gonna write my post early and you all can post it on tuesday for me.

blue said...

where are you going on holiday tem?

tem said...

i have the energy to go on a run today.

i leave work for the airport at 3pm and it's friday, so i dont suspect i will do much work.

tem said...

Hilton Head.

too bad Beth won't be there too.

tem said...

i checked golf standings. tits fell to 2nd. tight race.

and tebow is close too.

blue said...

you fly to HH?

tem said...

not usually, long story....


efmtem and i would always go with my family. so her and i would drive down in her car because it is far nicer than mine.

now efmtem isn't going i was going to take my car. but my dad didn't want me taking my "fucking rice burner" "all the way to hilton head." I told him that flying was way too freaking expensive. So he said he didn't care and that he'd pay for the flight. So I said "OK."

tem said...

i'll be at the atlanta airport today from 6:33pm until 8:10pm.

or so my itinerary says.


i imagine 60 minutes of that time will be spent sitting in a plane waiting to either take off or waiting to pull up to the terminal.

blue said...

you should see if Beth wants to come hang out, she's not doing anything fun on friday night

tem said...

well i figure i'll be off the planes and free to wander around for 30-40 minutes. that is enough time.

blue said...

Atlanta airport has lots of fun stuff to do

tem said...

i bet.

tem said...

i think i will spend most of my time asking people if they know where i can get a Pepsi.

blue said...

coke's HQ is in Atlanta, they don't serve Pepsi there.

tem said...

that's the point.

Beth said...

"Hilton Head.
too bad Beth won't be there too."

Sure, now you tell me. I'm sure if I'd have known earlier I could've convinced the fiance to head down this weekend.

"Um, there's this guy I kinda know from a sports blog. He always talks in the 3rd person and has a broken engagement and probably creeps out all the women on his v-ball team, but he's pretty funny so let's go down to HH this weekend so I can hang out with him."

:-)

Beth said...

And tem, do you fly into Savannah to get to HH?

blue said...

i'm sure tem would rather you bring some of your other friends

blue said...

I bet tem goes to the Salty Dog

tem said...

" probably creeps out all the women on his v-ball team"

not on my team. they are used to me now.

chicks on the other team, probably.

blue said...

especially efmtem

tem said...

i am flying right into HH.

savannah was cheaper, but with dad footing the bill i decided i'd fly right onto the island.

i am hoping that they use a real plane to get me onto the island.

tem said...

tem will go to the salty dog once.

my family loves it for some reason.

i am not too impressed with it.

tem said...

"especially efmtem"

not her either.

although after she read drunken tem stuff from tuesday night, maybe she is creeped out.

Beth said...

"i am hoping that they use a real plane to get me onto the island"

I think it's a pretty small airport, so good luck with that.

tem said...

it is a tiny airport. i think i might have to fly in on either hang glider or ultralight.

Beth said...

"tem will go to the salty dog once"

My advice for you - get a mocha colada frozen drink and the vidalia onion casserole as a side dish.

blue said...

beth ♥s the salty dog

tem said...

i'll have someone else get that and let you know how it is.

mocha sounds like coffee and coffee is terrible.

onions are evil.

blue said...

yeah mocha coloda sounds awful

Piña coloda is not even that good

tem said...

i do like that beth's meal consists of a frozen drink for the main course and a side dish.

tem said...

why does the media think that favre is a great mentor for young QBs?

i thought his relationship with Aaron Rodgers was horrid and Rogers and he barely spoke?

tem said...

i'm tired of hearing shit like "Favre, theoretically, would give them an elite short-term quarterback and serve as a perfect mentor for QB-in-waiting Joe Flacco."

That's about Favre maybe going to the Ravens.

blue said...

favre isn't a mentor for shit

he's all about himself

Beth said...

"i do like that beth's meal consists of a frozen drink for the main course and a side dish."

And then another mocha colada for dessert.

blue said...

well hasselbeck was favre's protoge...i guess that's the one example they could use

tem said...

i know. i don't udnerstand why the media is slobbing his knob about being a good mentor.


i'm not sure there is a single example of him being a good mentor.

tem said...

did hasselbeck ever say favre taught him anything? did he even talk to hasselbeck?

rodgers has come out and said that he and brett hardly ever talked.

blue said...

that's because a-rodg is disgruntled and not a team player...he's still pissed that he wasn't the #1 pick in the draft

blue said...

(s)

tem said...

i think it is because favre is a douche.

blue said...

agreed

i think favre and shamford should get an apartment together

tem said...

make it a 3BR and throw in el tardo.

actually make it a 2BR and let shamford and el tardo share a room.

blue said...

maybe rick reilly can come over for a visit

tem said...

i think if you had that much doucebaggery in one place the world would end.

tem said...

has every morning this week been the tem and blue show?

tem said...

i need a brutus and timmy pic.

Beth said...

Just for you tem.

tem said...

rock on.

i spent like 20 minutes looking for one of those.

tem said...

that's worth 10 helmet stickers.

blue said...

great, i'm going to be on vacation the 1st week of the FMLB playoffs

JFreak said...

You'd rather not go on vacation?

blue said...

there goes my 20$

tem said...

just have someone be your assistant GM that week.

maybe you won't even make the playoffs.

tem said...

no computers at your vacation spot?

JFreak said...

Blue, your myspace profile is sending spam.

you should probably change your password.

JFreak said...

unless you're just being a prick and spamming people.

JFreak said...

in that case, touche.

blue said...

i've changed my password like 4 times

blue said...

I think it's fixed now.

the weird thing is, it sent them out to random people, because cmblue never got any from me

tem said...

blue likes spam.

paula pierce has a vagina said...

vloddy doddy backs out of the derby, no defending the belt

Keith S said...

Good news

JFreak said...

"CMFost said...
Yeah, Sparty you need to keep it simple for the folks from LOV they get confused easily.

July 10, 2008 5:31 PM"

Cumfast apparently wants his world destroyed.

tem said...

cumfast is just projecting his idiocy onto us.

he is a moron and needs it kept simple for him.

tem said...

no dog meat?

wft?

why the fuck would i go to china if not to eat dog? i can't eat it here. no point in going somewhere to experience their culture if they are going to change it right before i get there.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"Corey Hart is an all-star over David Wright.
El Pad's tale : Deke how many times did you and your dirty hippie sister vote?"


I voted around 2000 times. Kept the application open on all the PCs at work and on the home PC.

The motto was, "Hey, If you're not doing anything, you should be voting for Corey".

Keith S said...

That's the worse motto I ever heard

paula pierce has a vagina said...

"Yeah, Sparty you need to keep it simple for the folks from LOV they get confused easily."

hilarity, we get confused easily, even though it took them a year or so to figure out that shamhoff is a douche, regurgitator of espn headlines, and doesnt watch sports. Also, cummy still hasnt realized that everyone hates him over there too, the constant bashing somehow hasnt tipped him off.

blue said...

he's a glutton for punishment

or a mutton

or something like that

JFreak said...

mutton as punishment would be delicious.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Fuck Favre. He's a douchebag.

tem said...

i just told a girl in the office that we can't be friends because she is a huge dave matthews fan.

paula pierce has a vagina said...

so the brewers decided to drench corey hart in beer without caring that his daughter was on his lap, hilarity

Keith S said...

"i just told a girl in the office that we can't be friends because she is a huge dave matthews fan."

That is a good rule.

paula pierce has a vagina said...

if you watch dark knight in IMAX, there's a 15 second harry potter teaser, sweet

ns

JFreak said...

harry potter is worst than star wars.

paula pierce has a vagina said...

dark knight peeps

joker soundboard

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"so the brewers decided to drench corey hart in beer without caring that his daughter was on his lap, hilarity"

Its Milwaukee. She's already had a few beers by that point.

blue said...

mutton for punishment makes sense because he's a sheep

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"i just told a girl in the office that we can't be friends because she is a huge dave matthews fan."


Tem. Chicks that like DMB, put out. Its science.

You should've ploughed her first.

blue said...

you should have axed her if she would "crash" into you

paula pierce has a vagina said...

deke will have trouble making a baby

tem said...

she was married before she started working here.

tem said...

el pad, fix fannie and freddie right now.

no more fucking around.

paula pierce has a vagina said...

the onion is now writing real articles now?

paula pierce has a vagina said...

re: jesse jackson apologizing a few days ago about his 'non-private conversation'

apparently, he said he wants to cut off obama's nuts

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"deke will have trouble making a baby"

Good thing I'm losing weight. Unlike fathead.




And Spiff, get a damn avatar. You're fucking up my program.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

wall already?



Someone needs to entertain me!

tem said...

HUNGRY

blue said...

is meiz off from work today?

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Not off. Just not doing any work.

blue said...

i have to buy a new garage door opener, mine broke last night...cheap fucking chinese products

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Get a Craftsman

blue said...

good call meiz, american made

blue said...

hundo

paula pierce has a vagina said...

carrie underwood at the beach

paula pierce has a vagina said...

why would blitler ever use a chinese made product

Keith S said...

Jeezaloo Carrie Underwood is hot

blue said...

came with the house.

I don't know if it's made in china, but i figure everything is made there

blue said...

i would probably let carrie underwood have the sex with me

isiah thomas said...

cuz you look like a llama and you smell like a llama.

Tyler said...

Cody Ross' 14 games hit streak ends today because I picked him up and I'm playing him today.

Tyler said...

Sorry Cody.

blue said...

he will go on the DL now

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

What about a llama?

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

is it la-ma or ya-ma?

isiah thomas said...

My advice for you - get a mocha colada frozen drink and the vidalia onion casserole as a side dish.

yeah get a drink that will make you look like a fag while drinking it and eat food that makes your breath stink.

great advice for tem lonely.

I think the only advice you need it :

And you got these fucking claws and these fangs, man! And you're looking at your claws and you're looking at your fangs. And you're thinking to yourself, you don't know what to do, man. "I don't know how to kill the bunny." With *this* you don't know how to kill the bunny, do you know what I mean?

isiah thomas said...

"you need it : " is hook da hook

isiah thomas said...

and great work by beff bringing back the choke pic, that was one of my better works.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Damn. I miss B&T.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Tem should download Combat Arms so we can kill people. And then we can talk about how sweet it is. And then other people will download it. And then we can form an LoV Clan*
and rule the game.



*actually part of the game

blue said...

yeah, because that would be cool

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

yeah. that would be awesome.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Blue's in. Anybody else.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Keith can't even field a full team in FMLB right now. Awesome.

blue said...

poor keith

blue said...

and you know it's only a matter of time before JD Drew and Troy Glaus get hurt

paula pierce has a vagina said...

i think i play keef next week, should be a nice bounce back from a shellacking

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

For Keith

Keith S said...

"i think i play keef next week, should be a nice bounce back from a shellacking"

It's a short week, so I have a chance.

Keith S said...

I'm blocked on the link, mize

Keith S said...

On this day in 1980...

Dale Earnhardt took the checkered flag at the Nashville 420 en route to winning his first NASCAR driving championship.


July 11th must be a slow sports day.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Summer sausage sammich.

Keith S said...

IT'SSS FFFFRRRIDDDAAAAYYYYYYY!!!!!

Keith S said...

lull

paula pierce has a vagina said...

sweet, done with TPS for the day

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

summer sausage sammich wasn't very good.

Keith S said...

Mets won't be alone in 1st place before Monday.

Keith S said...

Isn't summer sausage basically a hot dog?

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

no. Its like salami.

Keith S said...

Ah, that's right. I remember having the Hickory Farms SS now.

tem said...

"Combat Arms "

i will DL on my return from vaca.

someone might need to remind me.

tem said...

i will have to look at underwood pics later too.

tem said...

B&T is in my post for tuesday.

it is half written. if i don't post it on tuesday then hopefully someone else will.

tem said...

i hope to finish writing it over the weekend.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"i will DL on my return from vaca."

My plan is coming together.

tem said...

i will have limited computer access whilst on vaca.

yay for the internet cafe.

Keith S said...

ixnay on the ELday

paula pierce has a vagina said...

i will DL the game too, but dont know how often i will play. i used to be in a CS clan in college. is this game similar?

tem said...

keith hates the DL.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"yay for the internet cafe."

Is it 1994?

Did you steal the time masheen?

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"i will DL the game too, but dont know how often i will play. i used to be in a CS clan in college. is this game similar?"

I don't know what CS is.

Keith S said...

counterstrike

Keith S said...

*I googled that. I've never played any of those games.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Ah. I guess it is similar.

blue said...

combat arms...do it

tem said...

either the internet cafe or i steal my cousins' laptop. i am not taking my own computer down with me.

blue said...

ahahahahahahaahaha

Travis Henry tested positive for weed again

blue said...

tem doesn't have an iphone or a blackberry? i'm surprised (s)

paula pierce has a vagina said...

ribeye and drunkness tomorrow night, awesome

Keith S said...

I might be one step closer to a temgagement this weekend.

Keith S said...

kinda (s)

tem said...

gone to airport.

don't do the temgagement.

JFreak said...

is combat arms better than america's army?

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"I might be one step closer to a temgagement this weekend."

Awesome.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"is combat arms better than america's army?"

Are you saying you actually played that piece of shit?

Keith S said...

"Awesome."

Not really. But I have been sleeping in the spare BR this week.

JFreak said...

I was bored one day.

I'm just trying to gauge CA on another downloaded game I've played.

AA was clunky.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

bummer

blue said...

at least you're not sleeping on the couch

Keith S said...

"at least you're not sleeping on the couch"

Yes

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

CA is pretty good. Not much for maps, though. You earn points to purchase upgrades as you go which is nice.

blue said...

keith didn't learn anything, sleeping in the spare bedroom is not how to achieve your highest priorities

blue said...

or maybe it is

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"or maybe it is"

I was thinking the same thing

Keith S said...

It gets me away from a bitchy attitude, so that is a priority.

isiah thomas said...

might peep game on Hellboy 2 this weekend, it looks promising.

blue said...

I wasn't a fan of hellboy 1

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"might peep game on Hellboy 2 this weekend, it looks promising."

Its getting good reviews

Keith S said...

Never saw the first Hellboy. Was it good?

isiah thomas said...

we peeped game on Hellboy again last night, FX or USA is playing the shit out of it right now.

I thought H1 was aight, pretty good.

Keith S said...

I'll be playing poker tw night. Yay

blue said...

fuckign home scorekeepers, theriot reached on an error, but they ruled it a hit...fags

JFreak said...

I just yelled at some Indian call center guy for the Cubs game being blacked out here.

I know he can't do anything, but it felt nice.

Keith S said...

85° and 70% humidity right now. This is weird.

JFreak said...

MLB is giving a free week preview of MLB.tv.

But only if you voted in the final ballot for the all-star game.

I'm sure Deke could send some of his extra redemption codes around.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"I'm sure Deke could send some of his extra redemption codes around."

I don't think there's any redemption codes.

blue said...

yeah, send me a code deke

isiah thomas said...

quit bogarding the codes Pecos

JFreak said...

code...link, whatever.

Keith S said...

No way mize voted 2000 times. He's way too lazy to put the passcode in that many times.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I hope Tyler's cranking out some Skip Tracer.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I can't find the place for the free week of MLB.tv

Did you maybe have to sign up whilst voting?

isiah thomas said...

No way mize voted 2000 times. He's way too lazy to put the passcode in that many times.

good point, we got took by another tall tale.

JFreak said...

"I can't find the place for the free week of MLB.tv

Did you maybe have to sign up whilst voting?"

They sent an e-mail.

So all of the e-mail addresses that you used to vote will have a link to sign up.

isiah thomas said...

pecos@ireallydidntvote.com

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"No way mize voted 2000 times. He's way too lazy to put the passcode in that many times."


False

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

2k counting regular all star balloting

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"So all of the e-mail addresses that you used to vote will have a link to sign up."

I checked the "do not send me shit" boxes.

Keith S said...

"2k counting regular all star balloting"

TWGKS

isiah thomas said...

block

isiah thomas said...

block

isiah thomas said...

block

isiah thomas said...

block

isiah thomas said...

block

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"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug





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"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino