Wednesday, June 04, 2008

This is the final countdown

[Update: Ladies and gentlemen, your 2008 Stanley Cup Champion Detroit Red Wings!!]


...so sayeth the illustrious "Europe".

This is where it begins and the end is still TBD. Wait and watch for that. Hopefully there will be fireworks of all sorts, but I highly doubt it. Like most things in life (see: all) it'll just be a giant letdown. Kinda like the first date with Beth. Everybody here knows what that's all about...

-So my Wings better secure that Cup. Those bastards better not make me stay up til 1am rooting, hoping, carelessly caressing my inner thighs... only for them to lose. Again. Bastardos.

-Joe Dumars is talkin some shit. Go get em, Joe.

-The horse hoof stuff is off the heezy for sheezy. Just stop. I almost hope the damn horse dies so there is a huge fallout for the whole sport. Kinda like how I would almost hope for a giant fireball of crashes at a Nascar event. But only if it ends the sport. But NS, since money and greed are at the crux of this whole horse saga, I would love to see them all get fucked over while staring their gift horse in the mouth. Bitches.

-I am so hyped for the NBA Finals! OMG, I just can't believe the network's wet dream came true! I can't wait til the shares come in and make this the highest rated series EVAR! Too bad those old teams had All-Time players on their rosters.. Pau and Lamar versus Rondo and Perkins! Is it South Park that has a character that is a piece of poo? Cause whatever cartoon that is, it looks like KP43 (Kendrick Perkins). He looks like a giant turd. A giant turd with a sour look on his face, as if he just realized that he is a turd and now understands why that rank smell always follows him around. A turd that would steal your car while wearing faded blue sweat pants that were 3 sizes too small (with the obligatory one leg pulled up), a white mesh cutoff football jersey and Nude panty hose over his face. That kinda turd. A heaping pile of hot, sweaty, cantankerous douchebaggeryness.

Simply put, I'm not a fan. He bothers me for some reason. I'd rather listen to an Ace of Base record for the rest of my life than watch him play another quarter of basketball. I wish he was like one of those giant oval-shaped bouncy clowns that you can punch and then they pop right back up. I'd love to put a heel right in the chin of that bouncy little oval-shaped turd muffin. I might even throw a real strong hand-on-the-back-of-his-head knee thrust combo in there to vary it up too. We'll see how I feel in the moment. Just be reactionary.. don't plan.. soak up the Haterade and piss it out all over his ugly green w/black Celtics jersey. Really dough, how do u fuck up a classic jersey? Swap out black for white that's how. Amazing. At least when they did the gold trim uni's it had a point and it was just for a moment. I probably have Shammy quality facts about this whole deal, but every time i think of the shitty Celts, I now see those awful jerseys. Maybe they wore them like once, but damnit if it ain't burned into my memory. Screw you, Larry Bird. The Great White Flight. Makes his career and scrilla in Boston and then peaces out to the sticks. I don't even know what the reasons/logistics are for him not ever coming back to Boston, but he needs to sew up his storybook ending before it gets outta hand. I want closure. I don't even care about Larry, but I want a nice story out of all of this. And then Magic Aids can go back to banging white bitches in L.A. and we'll give him a back office job. "Back office" cause we don't want him rubbing off on anyone. He hangs out at Staples Center enough now to the point that we at least owe him a front for being there. Managment needs to help him out with a cover. God, if he didn't have a reason to be there it might just start looking really, really pathetic. Like Brett, the star quarterback at Hillsboro High coming back 15 years later and wearing his letterman jacket. Aids shouldn't get cut any slack.

Just give me my perfect Celts/Lakers storylines!! Cheese&Rice!

I'm actually kinda glad that Kobe is in the Finals again though. He is definitely the imitation Jordan of our generation and I like him. The kind that you could find on Ebay, overpay for and get far less quality out of. Such a crowd pleaser. That's my shit. I wouldn't pay 80$ for a Lacoste shirt, but you're damn sure I would flop the necessary 5.80$ out to make me look like I'm a big spender. I'm also super excited that he has brushed his legal concerns out of the public eye and redeemed himself through playing a better brand of team basketball. Like a legal team fighting together for one cause. It makes anal intrusion seem so distant.. so.. unimportant.

And since this ain't a subscription service, this is all you get.
I'm leaving soon.

378 comments:

1 – 200 of 378   Newer›   Newest»
Jugdish said...

first?

Jugdish said...

YES!

blue said...

^
|
|
|
|
|

what rev looks like when he gets the first comment

El Padrino said...

nice post

Jugdish said...

one more for the rev head.

blue said...

that didn't really work quite right

Jugdish said...

nice blue!

blue said...

stupid blogger

blue said...

so, Joba, not quite so great

El Padrino said...

this is not going over well in ny
it's painfully obvious Cashman and Girardi prefer Joba in a relief role

El Padrino said...

kid's got tremendous stuff
if he can plate it, watch out

anyway they pulled him after 2 and a third, 62 pitches

still trying to "stretch him out"
(twss)

tem said...

i prefer joba in a not on my team role.

tem said...

and from last comments, i have no accent.

tem said...

rev looks like the blogger symbol?

blue said...

"rev looks like the blogger symbol?"

yes

blue said...

I think Joba gets too fired up to be a starter...starters are typically calm, and don't panic.

Joba can get there, but I think he was just a little too juiced last night

blue said...

he had one too many B-12 shots before the game or something

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

1 day closer to going up north.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Spiff's pitch n ditching me. Bastard.

blue said...

do you even have any starters left Deke? Sabathia, and that's about it right?

El Padrino said...

tim redding

El Padrino said...

that went over well

Keith S said...

beth is sad

The 8th Letter said...

"and from last comments, i have no accent."

really, i don't believe this. I'm sure there are a few southern accents on LOV...

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I speak like the people on the news.

Beth said...

"beth is sad"

Damn, I hadn't heard about Smoltz's season-ending surgery til that link. You're right though, that IS depressing. Ugh.

blue said...

west virgina is not in the south

iamPresidentCharley said...

"I speak like the people on the news."

deekie has non-regional diction.

blue said...

"deekie has non-regional diction"


dontchyaknow

Spaceman Spiff said...

"Spiff's pitch n ditching me. Bastard."

when my first starter for the week sports a 14+ ERA for the game, i can afford to do it because i probly wont win era/whip anyways

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

true.

Just like Ms Corningstone

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"when my first starter for the week sports a 14+ ERA for the game, i can afford to do it because i probly wont win era/whip anyways"

I'm not complaining. Its not like rules are being broken.

blue said...

everyone does it, it's the cool thing to do

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

precisely

Spaceman Spiff said...

wft got into jeff francis last night

JFreak said...

"everyone does it"

erroneous.

JFreak said...

"it's the gay thing to do"

*fix'd

blue said...

"wft got into jeff francis last night"

dodger dogs

blue said...

freak is still pissed about losing in the playoffs last year

El Padrino said...

Pedro.

El Padrino said...

one down 11 to go?

JFreak said...

more on the lost Brazilian tribe

JFreak said...

how to almost kill yourself with diet coke and mentos

El Padrino said...

insane

iamPresidentCharley said...

hi WWL!

El Padrino said...

I had an opportunity to see this kid play 3 years ago, from what I can tell, he's no joke

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Got nothing

El Padrino said...

you have a skinny gf

El Padrino said...

cant wait for game one tonight
i'm stoked

El Padrino said...

oh, game one is not til tomorrow?
oh and then game 2 is 3 days later and 3 days after that and so on.

what a tremendous idear

El Padrino said...

the last 2 comments were brought to you by saracasm

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

true

El Padrino said...

if we are going to play dead i'll just surf wiki

fine by me

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

stupid NBA

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I've been surfing ebay.

Now I'll check the "adult gigs" section on craigslist

Keith S said...

On this day in 1980...

The 52-year-old hockey legend Gordie Howe retired, bringing the curtain down on a career that lasted 32 seasons over five decades.

He went to hike school w/ TP.

blue said...

game one is tomorrow night

Keith S said...

Final, some afternoon baseball today

blue said...

nevermind

Keith S said...

"game one is tomorrow night"

Who's playing?

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I hate when customers just stand there and stare at you when they're being cheapskates.


That's the fuckin' price, dumbass. Now its your turn to talk.

Keith S said...

I wish there was a TV camera following mize around at work.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

me too.


It would be ratings gold.

The 8th Letter said...

"west virgina is not in the south"

it is south of the Mason-Dixon line

tem said...

"really, i don't believe this. I'm sure there are a few southern accents on LOV..."

there might be, but i don't have one.

tem said...

"it is south of the Mason-Dixon line"

tem grew up about 7mi north of the mason dixon line.

Keith S said...

Southern accent >>>>>>>>>>>> Boston accent

blue said...

"it is south of the Mason-Dixon line"

if they weren't part of the Confederate States, they're not in the south

blue said...

or at least fought on the confederate side.

Keith S said...

Blue knows slavery

tem said...

WV wasn't a state until after the war, so technically it didn't fight on either side.

tem said...

the people who lived in what is now known as WV split between the north and the south.

the majority of the population fought for the south.

the majority of the "educated" (using that term losely, read: politicians) population fought for the north.

Keith S said...

It is one of only two states formed during the American Civil War (along with Nevada) and is the only state to form by seceding from a Confederate state and one of two states to secede from another state (Kentucky also seceded from Virginia but before the Civil War).

West Virginia is one of the Civil War "Border States". The Census Bureau considers West Virginia part of the South because most of the state is south of the Mason-Dixon Line

tem said...

tem speaks this:

"General American (sometimes called Standard Midwestern, Standard Spoken American English or American Broadcast English) is one of the most homogeneous and widespread accents of Anglophone North America. It is the accent of American English perceived by Americans to be most "neutral" and free of regional characteristics."

tem said...

bah, damned broken link.

tem said...

this

tem said...

everyone leaves virginia because virginia sucks.

tem said...

WV kilt lov.

cool.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I know its probably a bad idea to play Corey Hart today, but I don't know who else to play.

Keith S said...

Play Bill Hall.

Beth said...

"really, i don't believe this. I'm sure there are a few southern accents on LOV..."
"there might be, but i don't have one."

I do.

tem said...

beth definitely has one.

Keith S said...

So does TP have a combination of accents? Does he say yous'all

blue said...

people in florida don't have accents

tem said...

TP speaks in a shakespearean dialect.

It's how he grew up.

Beth said...

"So does TP have a combination of accents?"

Once a yankee always a yankee... :-)

blue said...

*people in florida have cuban/spanish accents


so he'd say yous hombres

Keith S said...

"people in florida don't have accents"

Even the Cubans?

blue said...

was-sapp-owning

blue said...

BJ upton needs to start hitting more HRs or he won't be a 30/30 guy

isiah thomas said...

out-fucking-standing post FH.

NS

A turd that would steal your car while wearing faded blue sweat pants that were 3 sizes too small (with the obligatory one leg pulled up), a white mesh cutoff football jersey and Nude panty hose over his face. That kinda turd. A heaping pile of hot, sweaty, cantankerous douchebaggeryness.

seriously, re-read this.

El Padrino said...

"people in florida don't have accents"

some people do
they sound silly to me

tem said...

it was a solid post for sure.

tem said...

accent this retard.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I guess I'll read the front page.

Keith S said...

Don't over-exert yourself, mize

El Padrino said...

deke support your fellow contributors you lazy sack of manure

Keith S said...

Watch out for taint cheese

Keith S said...

Brazil has the best jail cells

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

100

blue said...

wow

tem said...

that can't be keith. ny has to have the best jail cells, right?

Keith S said...

NYC metro area has the best U.S. jail cells

Tyler said...

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/80649

Tyler said...

Too busy to link up.

Tyler said...

It's an onion article about GTA IV.

Tyler said...

Keith, please advice regarding a trade. Regards.

El Padrino said...

that brazilian jail cell link reminds me of Pablo Escobar

Tyler said...

Or anyone else that needs an Outfielder who's name rhymes with Shad Shaerrero. Looking for a 1st baseman now that Papi is on the DL.

Tyler said...

That is all.

Keith S said...

You typed more with "Too busy to link up." than it would take to put up a link.

Tyler said...

Now I have three meeting to go to. Layoffs are fun!

isiah thomas said...

I guess I'll read the front page.

as if the internets hasn't made Americans lazy enough....now we're too lazy to be lazy.

GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!11!!111

I LOVE YOU-ESS-AND-AYYY!111!11

Keith S said...

*Too lazy to link up.


*fixed

tem said...

GTA IV is fun.

Keith S said...

"Keith, please advice regarding a trade. Regards."

I don't want to trade Votto. I'll trade Pena.

Keith S said...

Stop trying to hoard all the Reds

isiah thomas said...

EP - if Joba stays in the rotation he's useless to our roster - esp with those pitch counts they have him on.

monitor closely.

Tyler said...

Pena sux.

Tyler said...

Then reject the trade if youse don't want to trade Votto.

Keith S said...

So does Vlad and Blanton

Tyler said...

Borowski for Votto. I'm willing to overpay and trade him straight up.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"Or anyone else that needs an Outfielder who's name rhymes with Shad Shaerrero. Looking for a 1st baseman now that Papi is on the DL."

Somebody's been watching Knocked Up.

Tyler said...

"So does Vlad and Blanton"

Take that back.

Tyler said...

Ok, maybe you're right. They do suck.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Wow Tem. Soup?

El Padrino said...

"EP - if Joba stays in the rotation he's useless to our roster - esp with those pitch counts they have him on.

monitor closely."

I'm on it.

Keith S said...

If I trade for Vlad, he's on the DL within 2 hours.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I hadn't realized how much Vlad sucks. That's gotta be a dead-heat with Tulo in RD 2 for worst pick.

Tyler said...

"Somebody's been watching Knocked Up."

I've been using that joke since 4th grade. An even better one is to actually use the right name, like; "Or anyone else that needs an Outfielder who's name rhymes with Vladimir Guerrero"

Tyler said...

Vladimir Guerrero wants traded off the CrazyEyedKillas.

Tyler said...

I gotta go. I'll check back later.

El Padrino said...

T any interest in youkilis

Spaceman Spiff said...

shmuh-shmortion

El Padrino said...

and zeke the pitch counts are just until he's stretched out totally

he throws 101 mph with a 83 mph change up, and add to that a slider, they say he has another pitch making it 4 total but i haven't seen him use that mystery pitch often

he will remain on the roster at least until the pitch counts go away

tem said...

"Wow Tem. Soup?"

i had a free roster spot with Smoltz hitting the DL.

tem said...

he's been pitching well enough.

El Padrino said...

there are no pitchers on the wire anyway worth grabbing

i grabbed them both a couple of weeks ago (unit, doosh)

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Thank-you, Hanley.

tem said...

unit was a good waiver pick up for sure.

isiah thomas said...

he will remain on the roster at least until the pitch counts go away

fo sho. Don't drop the guy, just keep an eye on him.

MLB folks felated Daniel Cabrera for years and we see how that's turned out.

Plus Jaba's (sic) father is obese.

El Padrino said...

"MLB folks felated Daniel Cabrera for years and we see how that's turned out."

i am my own scout

p.s i still think vlad will heat up

tem said...

i'd trade casey blake for vlad.

let me pick him pack up off waivers....

El Padrino said...

T, take a look at my roster...i'm interested in Vladdy Daddy

tem said...

T wants the same thing you want, a 1B that doesn't suck or isn't hurt.

El Padrino said...

youkilis doesn't suck and is not hurt, i just wanted an upgrade over him power/rbi wise

i'm always willing to move a red suck

El Padrino said...

also has 3b eligibility and should have OF eligibilty soon (if yahoo does the more than 5-10 games rule)
dont know that though

tem said...

yahoo! does whatever they want.

tem said...

rick reilly is on WWL now?

wasn't he a long time SI guy?

blue said...

yeah, he left like 6 months ago for the wWWl but, then he never wrote anything, and now he does, and he writes about fucking golf

blue said...

how come TBS got to drop the W from thier name. Are they no longer available over the air in Atlanta?

Tyler said...

I don't have a whole lot of time today, but if anyone wants to send me something for Guerrero, I'll take a look at it.

I want a 1st baseman or pitching.

tem said...

how come tbs knows comedy?

i say they don't.

Tyler said...

I did have some time to send a trade to Deluxe though. Guerrero for Berkman. I think that's fair.

blue said...

stop snitchin yo

Tyler said...

I am interested in Youk. Holla.

blue said...

"how come tbs knows comedy?

i say they don't."

Bill Engvall and Tyler Perry disagree with you...next up is the carlos mencia family show

tem said...

Kaczur this retard.

Keith S said...

I have 5 pitchers starting today

blue said...

d-bags suck

tem said...

I like Engvall's stand up. I watched 10 minutes of his show and did not laugh once.

I can't even tell if tyler perry plays one person on his show or all of them, so i am not watching it.

tem said...

i had 3 yesterday and they all got shelled.

blue said...

i don't think tyler perry is even on the show

blue said...

I would watch the "tater salad" show

tem said...

of course you would.

tem said...

seriously though, ron white is funny.

blue said...

if his show involved him standing around and drinking scotch and telling jokes, I would watch it

El Padrino said...

i hate that tbs advertises on family guy like whores on the bottom of the screen

blue said...

is TP even managing his team anymore?

tem said...

"i hate that tbs advertises on family guy like whores on the bottom of the screen"

this happened yesterday and i was pissed. bill engvall came out and paused Family Guy and started pitching his show. then restarted Family Guy.

then Tyler Perry got an ad down there, but he never got to pause Family Guy and talk.

TBS hates black people.

blue said...

tyler perry is black?

El Padrino said...

T, I offered

Spaceman Spiff said...

spam email of the dam:

"bigger copulation organ in 3 weeks!"

Spaceman Spiff said...

*day

El Padrino said...

"this happened yesterday and i was pissed. bill engvall came out and paused Family Guy and started pitching his show. then restarted Family Guy."


yes. during the school board griffin election episode

fuck tbs

Keith S said...

Family Guy is d-u-m

El Padrino said...

is TP even managing his team anymore?

he's another one, i've been offering him trades for morneau like vito would eat johnny cakes

El Padrino said...

"Family Guy is d-u-m"

he has balls on his chin
it's hysterical

blue said...

johnny cakes is hilarity

blue said...

i liked futurama better than family guy

Spaceman Spiff said...

TP doesnt manage his team all the time, last week against me he left 3 SP on the bench one day

tem said...

i also like futurama better.

but i like them both a lot.

El Padrino said...

i like that T, give me a minute

tem said...

TP is in cruise control until the playoffs.

blue said...

my problem with family guy is that meg should be hotter if she's going to have the chick from 'that 70's show' (mila kunis) be her voice. it's only fair

blue said...

it ruins my mental image of mila kunis

Keith S said...

I just talked to someone named Baldeep.

NS

tem said...

hahahahahahaahhahaha baldeep.

blue said...

was it Buzz Bissinger?

tem said...

meg is the least important character on the show, don't let her ruin it for you.

tem said...

mtg

El Padrino said...

T, done.

Keith S said...

I should have axed if they have a brother named Hipdeep

blue said...

EP did not consult with his asst GM before making that move

Tyler said...

Aight, Vlade for Youk and Verlander.

Keith S said...

What's the trade?

Keith S said...

Shit for Shat

blue said...

torii hunter is better

Tyler said...

"Shit for Shat"

You say potato, I say tomato.

Tyler said...

older

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"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





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"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino