Random Post That Actually Involves Sports.

I am spot-starting today for El Pad because he is in mourning. Sorry to hear about that El P.

So I'm checking ESPN like I'm Shamhoff after he wakes up and boots his computer. Time to get my copy/paste on:

Of course the hot story is the Lakers blowing a 24-point lead. Someone please check on Spiff to see if he's still alive. This is the matchup that everyone wanted, but I've gotta say, it's been terrible so far. Lakers look horrible. Celtics haven't really played much better. No team has ever come back from 3-1; it's science. SG will write about THE BEST GAME EVAR!1!1!1! and how Paul Pierce is a golden god today.

Federal investigators ax two ex-refs about Dick Bavetta. I am positive that they're asking questions about that foot race against Barkley during half-time at the All-Star game. I heard he had 5 G's on Barkley at 2:1. Bavetta is dirty.

It's not too early for someone to set up the LoV Fantasy Football League. Yahoo announced yesterday that leagues are forming, and they finally added a keeper option. I'm just sayin'.

Marshawn Lynch is single-handedly trying to take down the entire Bills franchise. Well, at least there's other things to do in Buffalo besides root for the local football team. Oh, wait a minute, no there's not...

Wagner implodes, Mets lose. In his last three games, Wagner is sporting a 23.14 ERA. Ouch. Maybe it's time to look at other options, Willie.

If the NFL could hurry up and start this weekend, that would be great.

White Jesus with a pinch hit double in the 8th. He also turned a bottle of water that the first base coach was holding into wine while rounding first. It is a good thing that the Cincy isn't playing in L.A. for the rest of this year, I might have found myself hanging out in front of the Reds dressing room and offering to do things to WJ that I would regret later. Whew.

Some Golf news: Tiger and some dude named Phil got paired up; I'm getting bored just writing about it.

Keith's fantasy team continues to be death for professional baseball players. Eric Karabell will blog about "players to avoid" today and it will consist of a screenshot of Keith's team.

So my plan to save Hollywood involves a mandate that Mike Myers and Adam Sandler can only make movies together from now on. That way, we only have to sit through one preview debacle instead of two. Seriously, who is going to go see "Don't Mess With the Zohan" and "The Love Guru"? I heard a rumor that the FBI is showing both of those movies as double-feature during interviews with Al Qaeda sleeper cells as a "breaking technique". I am positive that somehow my mandate will solve world hunger and it may also convince OPEC to lower gas prices. You can thank me later.

For those of you who missed LoVad, here's a quote from Freak: "things be crazy, you". That should pretty much sum up the drunkfest that was last night. We have also started the first ever LoV business investment: it's a delivery service where stoners and drunks can order Taco Bell without having to leave their residence. Unfortunately, LoV members will be spending most of their profits on using the service for themselves. El Pad will announce the IPO and how to invest next week. Stay tuned.