Monday, June 30, 2008

Contrary To Popular Belief, My Computer Is Not Gay.


Its too damn busy here, and I'm a shitty typist.

A few things off the top.

My sister was at the very least, mildly flattered that the bisexual chick thought she was cute. She blushed and everything. Hilarity.


I'm a pervert. But not in the weird, crazy, EP, knockin' one-out-at-the-computer-while-surfing-Redtube kind of way. More along the lines of I'm-looking-down-as-many-shirts-as-possible way.



I did some longboarding last night. I'm surprised more people don't die doing that.


I didn't watch any sports this weekend. I was way too busy pouring vodka down my gullet.

Sweet. Here comes a fat broad with a van full of wedding gifts. People are so fucking stupid.

I'm just watching Miggy unload this bitch's van, and I can see the misery in his face. Sucker.

Sorry about the sad state of this post. Why is this whore talking to me? I'm not dealing with you.

I totally had a good Pecos Deke story. You can either blame my alcoholism or blame the fat Wisconsin people that keep coming in here.

Fuck it. I'm done.

385 comments:

1 – 200 of 385   Newer›   Newest»
isiah thomas said...

TWGKS

Keith S said...

Wellllll, la dee freakin daaa! We got ourselves a writer here! Hey dad, I can't see real good. Is that Bill Shakespeare over there?

H said...

monday

Tyler said...

How much did you pay for that computer again?

Tyler said...

Money well spent.

Tyler said...

Deke's puke description on the last post was riveting. Good times.

Tyler said...

I've gotta get ready. This place is zoidberg anyways.

H said...

no one is here

blue said...

i'm lurking

blue said...

and i'd like to thank Ryan Dempster for shitting the bed and destroying my week against deluxe...fucking douchebag

blue said...

outstanding effort this morning...pretty much matches the effort of the post

El Padrino said...

i'm swamped
got two meeting downtown later

El Padrino said...

hence, i'll be sparse today

El Padrino said...

this fucking post is garbage

El Padrino said...

i'll take the Z but am not happy about it

blue said...

power rankings are up

blue said...

and i'm not happy about them

El Padrino said...

i lost by .9 in my money league
to the last place team

fuckers

El Padrino said...

yikes douchelux won

blue said...

yeah, it was more of a case of everyone had a shitty week, and he was the last shittiest.

JFreak said...

It's like that.

And that's the way it is.

El Padrino said...

California has the best fires

El Padrino said...

movie bikini's, very important

El Padrino said...

that link is actually not so good

El Padrino said...

"You'll see Rafael Nadal, Roger Federer and the Williams sisters Monday"

who cares

El Padrino said...

"Braves' Jones, hitting .394, appears headed to DL"


I'm shocked.

El Padrino said...

tits is in alaska

blue said...

chipper sucks

blue said...

i thought she didn't go to alaska until july or something

blue said...

july isn't until tomorrow

blue said...

4 day week...hooray

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Gotta sort the mail. Then We'll have a Pecos Deke/Teejer style post.

blue said...

"You'll see Rafael Nadal, Roger Federer and the Williams sisters Monday"

no i won't

Keith S said...

Fuck FMLB

El Padrino said...

beautiful day for a boat ride

blue said...

wedding crashers on TBS was still a good movie, even with the edits

El Padrino said...

i threw it in the dvd player yesterday for the curses

i need the curses

Beth said...

"tits is in alaska"

I'm sure there are tits in Alaska right now, but THESE tits don't go there til 7/26.

Keith S said...

"Seriously, win something on the road, Cubs. I'd love a cross-
town series in Oct."

freak is posting on WWL again

Keith S said...

But if the players can sleep in their own bed and wake up and go to the game, does that constitute as "playing on the road"?

blue said...

your argument has some merit

El Padrino said...

hostile fans i guesS?

blue said...

there isn't any ivy

Keith S said...

Maybe they don't like batting first

blue said...

they had to use a DH

H said...

"this place is dead anyway"

Keith S said...

IT'SSSSSS MONDAYYYYYYYYY!!!

blue said...

chaz reinhold is just "livin the dream"

H said...

are people on vacation or what???

blue said...

no, we just suck

blue said...

maybe in honor of the new movie Wall*e, today will be "Wall" day

JFreak said...

Zito is starting against the Cubs today.

end of the skid.

blue said...

zito throws a 2 hitter and baffles cubs hitters today

blue said...

zito might even throw an 8 inning no hitter and lose

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

There's a totally awesome new post up on the front page.

blue said...

zito plays the guitar

blue said...

i blame alcoholism

tem said...

well ketching up was easy.

blue said...

yes, it should have been

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

This place is on fire today. I blame alcoholism.

Keith S said...

On this day in 1929...

Bobby Jones sank a pressure putt on the 18th hole of the U.S. Open at Winged Foot to force a playoff with Al Espinosa. Jones won the 36-hole playoff by 23 strokes.

TP wasn't there but he listened to it on his short-wave radio

Keith S said...

Tulo hit a HR yesterday. He was on my bench

blue said...

"Tulo hit a HR yesterday. He was on my bench"

yep, it was one of his 2 hits for the week

Keith S said...

shamford....
"The Angels became only the 5th team in MLB history to lose after pitching a no-hitter. Jared Weaver and Jose Arredondo get the no-no, but the Dodgers get the win."

Um, it's wasn't a no-hitter.

blue said...

"Bobby Jones sank a pressure putt on the 18th hole of the U.S. Open at Winged Foot to force a playoff with Al Espinosa."

but he didn't have bagger vance as his caddy

Keith S said...

Damn, if he hadn't hit it, he could have been LVP

blue said...

keith is correct, 8 inning no-hitters are not recognized as no-no in the annals of beisbol history

tem said...

i hate shamford.

Keith S said...

What's funny is they made the no-no rule in either '92 or '93, so everyone that had the 8IP no-no before that got it taken away.

Keith S said...

They should have been grandfathered in

blue said...

i don't take him seriously, he's like a satire of a real sports journalist

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I think its a stupid rule.

Keith S said...

shocking

blue said...

why is it a stupid rule, they didn't pitch a full game

blue said...

that's like giving a guy who throws 8 innnings a CG

JFreak said...

Some idiot on baseball tonight had a huge shammy moment last night.

On the play that David DeJesus got injured on the play at the plate, the idiot talked about how the royals players have to move the equipment out of the way.

DeJesus fell on the catcher's helmet that he knocked off during the collision.

Knocks it off, lands on it.

How the hell could a teammate come in and move it out of the way?

Ass.

blue said...

the guy in the On deck circle should have known, and been there to move that helmet in the exact instant it happened

Keith S said...

"that's like giving a guy who throws 8 innnings a CG"

If a guy pitches 8 innings and gets the loss, it's still considered a complete game.

Keith S said...

NS

Keith S said...

So the CG and no-no rules are different, which is dumb

H said...

on the flip side, Pedro Martinez once pitched 9 innings of no hit ball, but because he gave up a hit in the 10th, he also does not get a no hitter...

JFreak said...

That's because pedro sucks.

Keith S said...

I think Pedro's was a perfect game

Keith S said...

That would suck

blue said...

fuck pedro

Keith S said...

It was when Pedro was an Expo, so he wasn't a douche yet

tem said...

it is what it is.

tem said...

he was just livin' the dream

Keith S said...

We had our playoff game last night and we had 8 guys show up. That was fun

blue said...

pedro has always been a douche

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I got incredibly liquored up yesterday. Just a warmup for this Friday.

tem said...

is 8 enough to even play?

we have to forfeit with 8.

tem said...

we had to show up for our 4pm game even though it was pouring down rain.

then we had to show up at 5pm for our second game even though it was pouring.

both games were cancelled.


if we had not shown up they would have made us forfeit.

that's right, gotta show up in the rain to get cancelled. that is if they don't just cancel all games city wide, which they did not.

Keith S said...

Yeah, we had 2 OF. We lost 19-8.

tem said...

well at least you got to play.

tem said...

did you have to take 2 auto outs when you batted?

Keith S said...

No. I thought we would, but they didn't do that.

blue said...

why did you only play 2 ofers?

why not lose the 3b and have the SS cover the left side of the infield?

Keith S said...

If it was a regular game we could have probably grabbed someone to fill-in, but since it was the playoffs, they checked everyone's ID who was on the roster.

blue said...

or lose the 2b

Keith S said...

"why not lose the 3b and have the SS cover the left side of the infield?"

Because I didn't feel like covering that much ground.

(s)

I don't think it would have mattered. We weren't going to win.

Keith S said...

We should have went with no catcher and just have the ump throw the ball back to the pitcher.

tem said...

i am surprised they let you play.

8 is a no go here.

if you play with 9 you have an auto out when you bat for the 10th person who isn't there.

tem said...

also, i'd have played with no second baseman, assuming the other team was not lefty heavy.


or tried to play with no pitcher and make the other team throw the ball up to themselves and hit it.

tem said...

auto out sucks because if there are 2 outs whoever bats 9th is going to get walked on purpose just so the auto out is up next to end the inning.

(assuming bases aren't loaded, and really even then sometimes. rather give up one run than let the guy hit and maybe drive in 4).

tem said...

"I don't think it would have mattered. We weren't going to win."


TWGKS

Keith S said...

I think no matter what we did, we would have lost. Most of their lineup hit to RF their 1st time up, then LF the next time up.

tem said...

"Most of their lineup hit to RF their 1st time up, then LF the next time up."

i hate playing against teams that can do this.

Keith S said...

Good use of TWGKS

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Softball flakers are the worse

blue said...

not as bad as frosted flakers

tem said...

or frosted tips.

tem said...

or frosted walls.

Keith S said...

OMJ wall

blue said...

what's wrong with frosted tips? (s)

teej approves

tem said...

you answered your own question.

El Padrino said...

1pm meeting, no food

wft

El Padrino said...

id eat the ass out of a live grizzly bear right

Keith S said...

Doesn't kod have frosted tips in that pic that was posted?

tem said...

maybe.

Keith S said...

"id eat the ass out of a live grizzly bear right"

What about a burrito?

tem said...

1pm is too late for food at meetings.

nobody brings food to a 1pm meeting.

only ones that start 11-12:30.

tem said...

why would he choose a grizzly ass?

he went from alba to grizzlies?

blue said...

alba looks grizzly now that she's had a kid

El Padrino said...

"nobody brings food to a 1pm meeting.

only ones that start 11-12:30."

1pm is standard lunchtime in the NYC metropolitan area

Keith S said...

"alba looks grizzly now that she's had a kid"

stop it

blue said...

keith enjoys preggo ass

tem said...

"1pm is standard lunchtime in the NYC metropolitan area"

NYC Metro area has the biggest lunch time.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I stared at a lot of boobs this weekend. Hot bitches ♥ Cedarburg fesivals. Its standard in the metro area.

tem said...

boobs are nice to stare out.

tem said...

*at

Keith S said...

"keith enjoys preggo ass"

She's not preggo

blue said...

"I stared at a lot of boobs this weekend."

boobs = fat bitches

blue said...

"She's not preggo"

have you seen her ass since the baby has been born?

blue said...

because it's grizzly

El Padrino said...

blue stop it
alba is still hot, torn vajeen and all

blue said...

we got a new watercooler here, the water now tastes funky

Keith S said...

"because it's grizzly"

Have you?

Keith S said...

Alba won't ever be not hot

El Padrino said...

i'm so hungry i'm confused ?

blue said...

double negatives are very confusing

Beth said...

See Deke, I just knew there'd be a connection between me and your sis. Maybe you should give her my email address... :-)

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

What about quintuple negatives?

blue said...

TWGKS

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"Maybe you should give her my email address... :-)"


Sure. Just post it here. Its not like we'd all send you a bunch of dick pictures. We have more class than that.

blue said...

meiz has a lot of dick pictures?

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"meiz has a lot of dick pictures?"

I do have a camera.

El Padrino said...

mickey ward bio starring marky mark

blue said...

"I do have a camera."

given your "no cup" stance, i'll assume the camera has a good zoom lens.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"given your "no cup" stance, i'll assume the camera has a good zoom lens."

annoying

Beth said...

re: my email address

It's not like it's exactly a secret, I'm pretty sure it's on the golf fantasy league or somewhere else easily discoverable.

But dick pictures aren't so bad, me and my friends can always use a good laugh.

Keith S said...

Apparently engagement hasn't slowed beth down at all.

blue said...

"annoying"



ahhahahahahahaa

Keith S said...

newer is work

Beth said...

"Apparently engagement hasn't slowed beth down at all."

Oh shit, that's right, I'm engaged. I keep forgetting that...

s

blue said...

awesome

Keith S said...

We are awesome

blue said...

does ASU have restrictions on alcohol container size for tailgating?

El Padrino said...

nice

Keith S said...

"does ASU have restrictions on alcohol container size for tailgating?"

I don't think ASU does, but I think there is a law that might regulate that.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Party A Cargo is fuckin' sweet

El Padrino said...

mango got married

paula pierce has a vagina said...

new bond trailer out

tem said...

what mango?

tem said...

i may or may not be going to new hampshire tomorrow.

you'd think big boss would tell me now, but no, not so much.

Keith S said...

Do they list the price for that party cargo?

Keith S said...

The plane ticket is over there if you want to pick it up.

tem said...

plane ticket?

this is the company plane, no ticket needed.

it'd be more like i get a call at 7am telling me to be at the airport at 7:30.

i'll have to be up early tomorrow morning and just sitting around.

paula pierce has a vagina said...

tyson chandler gets to go to the olympics, and watch, in case someone gets hurt

Keith S said...

The airplane is on the tarmac, if you want to keep your job.


*fixed

blue said...

free trip to china, sexing up chinese women...sounds like a good way to spend the summer for T.Chan

blue said...

i'm outta here

tem said...

haha, RJ is not excited about being a Buck.

tem said...

today was a long day for tem.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"Do they list the price for that party cargo?"

My boss called them. $2800-$3900

El Padrino said...

el pad too

Keith S said...

"$2800-$3900"

Jeezaloo.

tem said...

2800 is a lot of cash.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"Everybody is not excited about being a Buck."



*fixed

tem said...

that's probably true.

tem said...

rev

El Padrino said...

"$2800-$3900"

Jeezaloo."

15-20 guys chip in

Keith S said...

"15-20 guys chip in"

We don't have that many that tailgate. And I already have a CO2 draft setup and a stereo. Just not in a handy-dandy steel box.

tem said...

lockbox

Keith S said...

TWSS

El Padrino said...

I see, said the blind man to the deaf dog.

tem said...

i think i'll just use my cooler instead of dropping 2 grand +

tem said...

12 minutes then i am leaving.

blah.

Keith S said...

I hate you all

Keith S said...

Solid day w/ no newer

El Padrino said...

banner day

T-6 days till vaca

Keith S said...

I blame mize

Keith S said...

TWGKS

Keith S said...

Loser Australian dude's life apparently isn't worth that much

El Padrino said...

let's ride out 2 hunge

El Padrino said...

the hype around dark knight is so big, it cant fail

El Padrino said...

whoever says something bad about it will be hung, drawn and quartered

El Padrino said...

i just realized my sunglasses make me look like Mr. Anderson when I wear suits

Keith S said...

"My left knee has been sore for 10 to 12 years," Woods said during a conference call for his AT&T National tournament, his first public comments since reconstructive surgery last Tuesday.


Healthy knee will be Tiger's kryptonite

El Padrino said...

it's way too hot for a suit today but i had no choice

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