Tuesday, June 17, 2008

3:15am

The Mets fire Willie at 3:15am. The list of things that should be happening at 3:15am is a short one and I can guarantee firing someone is not on there. 3:15am is a time for a drunken rally or a drunken hookup or some "are you awake? yeah me too." sex. Getting fired shouldn't happen at 3:15am unless you are a graveyard shift worker. I don't think Willie was. So, am I shocked he got fired? No. Does the timing baffle me? Yes, because it was at 3:15am. I mean, go to sleep you bastards.

Also this 3:15am brings up another point. Why the fuck does the media need to nail down the time he got fired to the minute?? Well you know what? I am not satisfied! I demand to know how many seconds we were into that minute. Was it really closer to 3:16am?? Did everyones watch in the room say 3:15am or did someone else have a different time?? These are the hard hitting questions that our so called media should be asking. Frankly, the whole situation just grinds my gears.

Finally, Jerry Manuel takes over? Good luck with that.

Hilarity in the WWL headlines: "Yankees' Wang shelved until at least Sept." I mean come on, everyone there at the WWL is laughing at that. They've been writing Wang headlines for months waiting to bust them out at the right time.

More Shamoffing from me: Javon Walker died or something, if you care go read the article yourself.

El Tardo fired up a tennis article for the magazine??? That is a major WFT for me. Who's idea was this?? I can't wait until the Omnibus writes about how certain writers at the WWL should just stick to the sports they know and not try to branch out into even gayer arenas.

In other news there were over 800 comments on last post. I did not read them. I will do so now, I expect hilarity and nothing less.

No movie review because tits never posts enough on Tuesdays. Blame her.


OK since I am a sucker for women Beth has convinced me to add a tem movie review:

To Kill A Mockingbird.

This is another classic movie that was based on a book. Obviously the book is better because you can't really take a movie hunting with you. So if you have the book you can read the instructions on how to shoot the bird without scaring the bird. So anyway, this movie is basically a big instructional video. Of course it can't help itself and gets a little preachy (although it never really addresses the need to kill a mockingbird). Anyway, if you ever wanted to know how to track and kill a mockingbird this is the movie for you. The tracking they demonstrate is pretty high level tracking, so try not to get lost. It is very heavily influenced by the Native American style of tracking. In that style you mimic another animal so that the mocking bird is not scared. Generally speaking a turkey is easy to mimic. If you act like a turkey the mockingbird will let you get close and you can line up a much easier shot. Native Americans had to master this technique because their bows and arrows did not allow them to take down a deer from 1500 meters away. Also they did not have any four wheelers. Anyway, if the tracking in the movie is too difficult to follow the book has a lower level tracking section (in Chapter 10: Run The Damn Thing Over With Your Honda), but the movie (due to time constraints) skips that part.

I feel the need to tell everyone that there is a little known fact about this movie. It is a sequel to I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings. In that movie we learn that the Caged Bird sings because it is about to get shot. Of course if the bird knows it is going to get shot it has the advantage. To Kill a Mockingbird is designed to take that advantage away and allow you to, well, kill the mockingbird.

Anyway, I'd give this movie 2 helmet stickers out of 5. For an instructional video it is pretty entertaining. But really the instructional video has a cap of 2 helmet stickers.

630 comments:

1 – 200 of 630   Newer›   Newest»
blue said...

Yes!!!

This sets up the possibility of Willie coming to the All-Star game as one of the assistant coaches, in a generic MLB jersey.

I hope it says "Baseball" on the front

blue said...

The strippers at Rick's Cabaret will be happy

blue said...

sorry for your loss EP

blue said...

Tiger Woods won

blue said...

wacky league is full of wackiness

El Padrino said...

thank you

El Padrino said...

minaya is dead to rights anyway

tem said...

LOV AD was entertaining.

tem said...

meiz was almost a basketball scab.

tem said...

TWGKS

blue said...

yeah, Tuesday's Gone is now stuck in my head...it will forever be the "Happy Gilmore" song though.

blue said...

so that knocks it down a couple of spots in the rankings

blue said...

I believe meiz...George Karl is an awful coach, and it wouldn't surprise me if he wanted meiz to play, except that Meiz has asthma and the NBA won't allow him to wear a T-shirt under his jersey.

El Padrino said...

and i dont even know it was him, but until i hear otherwise i will blame him and his spic loving ways

*apologies in advance if it's not him*

tem said...

my senior year song was "Remember Me This Way"

I have no clue who sings it or what it sounds like.

I have no clue who decided it would be our song, there was no vote.

I don't think it is as bad as Keith's "Hakuna Matana."

blue said...

Pedroia gave me a nice little gift before he left my team...now he'll go back to his 0-37 ways

blue said...

My senior year song was "if you leave" by OMD....it's stood the test of time...or not

Beth said...

Tem, I want my movie review.

iamnicetoyourface said...

im pretty sure we didnt have a senior song cause music with a beat is of the debol.

it woulda been a Gaithers song if we did..

El Padrino said...

"Jun 16 - RHP closer Brian Wilson earned his 20th save"

My save stat is not reflected in the scoring. Please advise.

iamnicetoyourface said...

breasticles

El Padrino said...

everybody's senior song wasn't Green Day's Time of Your life?

Beth said...

Tem, I'll even give you a few suggested movies to choose from to review that I'm guessing you never saw - Waterworld, Philadelphia (think of the Rev references you could make) and Stop or My Mom Will Shoot.

El Padrino said...

it's something unforgivable, but in the end it's right

El Padrino said...

*unpredicatble

blue said...

it wasn't a save EP, he came in with a 4 run lead and gave up 2 runs

El Padrino said...

mmm, ok, then yahoo needs to correct thier report because they are saying he got his 20th save of the year which leads the NL

blue said...

"everybody's senior song wasn't Green Day's Time of Your life?"


if that song had been written when I graduated, i'm sure it would have been.

blue said...

what do you expect out of Y! sports? Shamhoff started there

El Padrino said...

i dont remember our senior song and i dont care too

tem said...

"Waterworld, Philadelphia (think of the Rev references you could make) and Stop or My Mom Will Shoot."

tem watches horrible movies. so i have seen stop or my mom will shoot and waterworld.

tem said...

when did time of your life come out?

add 5 years to that and that is when it came out in WV.

i don't think it was out when i was a senior.

i think my neighbors senior song was Seal's Kiss From A Rose (she went to the catholic school).

Beth said...

Our senior song was "Lay Lady Lay" by Clapton.

Oh wait, never mind, that was just MY senior song...

blue said...

why do you know you're neighbors songs?

Beth said...

OK tem, here are a few other movie options then: One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, Taxi Driver and To Kill a Mockingbird.

tem said...

Furry Balls with the .600 avg and 1.6 OPS yesterday.

maybe i will bench everyone for the week.

blue said...

tem has to have seen "to kill a mockinbird"

tem said...

"tem has to have seen "to kill a mockinbird""

negative, is that a hunting movie?

tem said...

i'm not sure a mockingbird is good eats.

tem said...

"One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, Taxi Driver "

seen OFOtCN and already did one on TD (I think).

tem said...

TKaMB it is.

blue said...

i had to watch that movie in school. and read the book, when i was like in 7th grade...so i figure in WV that would be a HS junior or senior level reading.

tem said...

if i had gone to college in WV i would have read it.

JFreak said...

I don't know why I always get sucked in to the ocean movies. But they are fun.

tem said...

actually, we read it in 10th grade, but the only book i ever read was Old Man and The Sea.

I didn't try very hard in English class. I learnt very quickly that if you just rephrased whatever the person ahead of you said about the book (we'd always discuss the books) that you would get a good grade. Then when it came test time you just wrote down things we talked about in class.

iamnicetoyourface said...

tem is smrt and ctchs on qwk

El Padrino said...

looks like Javon Walker got knocked the fuck out

tem said...

tem possesses above average intelligence and has an aptitude for figuring things out in an expedient manner.

tem said...

it is apparent to the reader that Mr. Walker lost consciousness (sp?) for a period of time.

blue said...

"looks like Javon Walker got knocked the fuck out"

yeah the reports on the news here, mentioned that he had multiple fractures on his face, including at least a fractured orbital bone

blue said...

good thing the broncos rid themselves of that cancer

El Padrino said...

6 years 55MM baby!

GO RAIDERS!

blue said...

so to recap...javon walker was with Darrent Williams when he was kilt, and now got beaten to within an inch of his life in vegas....quality

blue said...

not that the 2 are connected in anyway, but javon must be some kinda gangsta

tem said...

the recent events in javon's life leads one to believe that perhaps he was involved in some seedy behaivor.

tem said...

movie review has been added.

bask.

blue said...

no afternoon beisbol....grrrrr

El Padrino said...

for the record, my Wang will never, ever be shelved

tem said...

for freak:

"Comedian Adam Carolla has been announced as the host of the new U.S. adaptation of the BBC's hit motoring show Top Gear."

JFreak said...

That's gonna suck.

blue said...

hoorayy, a toyota corolla

iamnicetoyourface said...

tem movie reviews are a beautiful thing

tem said...

today's movie review was educational as well.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Javon getting beaten down is funny to me.

blue said...

"Javon getting beaten down is funny to me"


me as well

iamnicetoyourface said...

"Javon getting beaten down is funny to me."

yeah well ya know what Meiz, if it happened to you or somebody you know it wouldnt be so funny.

how bout that?


(..assho'.)

blue said...

"Oakland Raiders wide receiver Javon Walker was found unconscious on the streets of Las Vegas with an orbital fracture on Monday morning, according to the city's Fox affiliate.

As for exactly how the talented 29-year-old received the injury is unknown, but Walker was seen at nightspot Tryst at the Wynn "spraying the crowd with some of the 15 bottles of Dom Perignon Rose champagne he ordered," according to a report in the Las Vegas Review-Journal."


Hilarity...i hope somebody got Dom sprayed on them and kicked his ass.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"yeah well ya know what Meiz, if it happened to you or somebody you know it wouldnt be so funny.

how bout that?"


This makes me laugh also.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

None of my friends or family are fake thug millionaires that run their mouths in such a manner to catch a beating like that.

Beth said...

Thanks for the movie review tem! (Although you were supposed to say you're a sucker for "beautiful" women.)

Great movie review though. I especially liked the reference to the omitted chapter 10.

El Padrino said...

freak what do we owe for the football league?

blue said...

women...beautiful women...it's all the same to tem

tem said...

deke lacks compatriots that are fraudelent about their urban nature so his friends would never find themselves in a predicament similar to the one faced by Mr. Walker.

Beth said...

women...beautiful women...inflatable dolls...it's all the same to tem

*fixed

JFreak said...

undressing a woman with an excavator

strange.

Beth said...

Tem is trying to impress LOV with his verbiage today it seems.

El Padrino said...

temscholar

JFreak said...

"freak what do we owe for the football league?"

I didn't know it had been decided which/if there was a money league.

tem said...

for the record tem has never seen an inflatable doll in person.

i've seen them on tv though.

El Padrino said...

freak your a weirdo

El Padrino said...

"I didn't know it had been decided which/if there was a money league."

i vote yes

tem said...

tem is having flashbacks to english class.


english class flashbacks > talking in second person.

JFreak said...

"freak your a weirdo"

it's not like I came up with the skit, I just lot it was strange enough to share.

iamnicetoyourface said...

"None of my friends or family are fake thug millionaires that run their mouths in such a manner to catch a beating like that."

but if they were, and they got beat half to deff, you'd be all "im so sorry to hear that" n' shit!

tem said...

kod should like the movie review today.

it talks about indians.

JFreak said...

lot = thought

sheesh.

tem said...

iam hated us in hike school.

El Padrino said...

you have aids


whopps, no you don't actually

Beth said...

iam hated everyone in hike school.

*fixed

iamnicetoyourface said...

i could never hate tem

JFreak said...

"You think this is funny?"

"It sure as shit ain't sad."

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"but if they were, and they got beat half to deff, you'd be all "im so sorry to hear that" n' shit!"


That's because I'd be obligated to.

Dats my meal ticket right thurr!

iamnicetoyourface said...

i could possibly hate beth though. incase i got infected, she woulda been the carrier.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

""I didn't know it had been decided which/if there was a money league."

i vote yes"

I vote no just because it won't matter.

El Padrino said...

prerp cook stuffs lobster tails down his pants

tem said...

today is wierd link day.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I'd like to thank the wonderful people at Hostess for my delicious chocolate pie this morning.

El Padrino said...

fatso

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

thank you.

iamnicetoyourface said...

hundo

JFreak said...

So.

Iam.

What's prompting the move to country music land?

El Padrino said...

not pizza obviously

Tyler said...

Blew is hot for the Taylor Buchholz.

blue said...

you were supposed to accept that trade

Tyler said...

White Moses is set to make his debut today.

Tyler said...

Derek Jeter = O Cab (look at the stats)
Hideki Okajima < Taylor Buchholz

And I'm just supposed to also give you a starting pitcher (McGowan) out of the kindness of my heart?

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Females need to STOP WEARING THE FUCKING GLADIATOR SHOES.


THEM SHITS ARE NOT CUTE.

UGLY AS SIN.

blue said...

yes, that seems fair

tem said...

HUNGRY

blue said...

jeter and okajima are bigger names than o-cab and buchholz...therefore they are better

Tyler said...

They are also Yankees and Red Sox. I've got enough players from those teams already.

Beth said...

"Females need to STOP WEARING THE FUCKING GLADIATOR SHOES.
THEM SHITS ARE NOT CUTE.
UGLY AS SIN."

Wow, Deke and I actually agree on something. :-)

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"They are also Yankees and Red Sox. I've got enough players from those teams already."

and that's why you're in last pl...errr.

Beth said...

Although Deke, with the whole "is deke gay?" controversy in the past, do you really want to be weighing in on if women's shoes are cute or not? :-)

Tyler said...

"and that's why you're in last pl...errr."

Last time I checked, which was five seconds ago, I was in 8th place. Someone who's name rhymes with Smeiz is in 9th.

Keith S said...

"there's a whole lot going on behind the scenes, believe me this is not as black and white as you might think"


So blowing a 7 game lead w/ 17 games to play last year, and underachieving as much as any team this year isn't enough of a reason to dump the manager?

Tyler said...

White Moses will lead my team to the promised land.

Keith S said...

To Kill A Mockingbird is in my top 20.

iamnicetoyourface said...

freak,

getting into the music biz. songwriting & production.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"Last time I checked, which was five seconds ago, I was in 8th place. Someone who's name rhymes with Smeiz is in 9th."

Please see the "errr" portion of my comment.

Regards.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"getting into the music biz. songwriting & production."

I still think you're full of shit.

blue said...

"underachieving as much as any team this year"

the rockies have underachieved more

Keith S said...

mize
Has anyone axed you to be a professional ath-a-lete today?

Keith S said...

"I still think you're full of shit."

Hi kettle...

JFreak said...

good luck man.

takes some balls to up and move to follow a career.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"mize
Has anyone axed you to be a professional ath-a-lete today?"

Yep.

Keith S said...

"the rockies have underachieved more"

Yeah they have a worst record, but I don't think anyone was expecting them to be the best team in the NL this year.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Although nobody has ever asked me before.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

which is weird.

El Padrino said...

"So blowing a 7 game lead w/ 17 games to play last year, and underachieving as much as any team this year isn't enough of a reason to dump the manager?"

Let me clarify by saying not only was it that but:

in addition he and assistant GM never got along, hate each other in fact, jeff wilpon never liked him here while his dad did, alot of undermining and backstabbing was going on, sort of like a sirority, minaya might not have been behind this like i first thought, so we'll see, rick peterson is pissed off, he might fuck someone up at some point today
maybe a raiders wr

El Padrino said...

i never said i dont understand why he was fired, it was the timing and the way it went down that pisses me off

coulda waited til the ASB at the very least or until they got back from the WC

blue said...

if he could beat the shit out of Darren McFadden that would be great...regards

isiah thomas said...

MJ came by the playground and told me to try out for summer league....but I said "no"....NO! shit might fuck up my game billy ho.

Keith S said...

I'm not saying I know what's going on behind the scenes because I don't live in the greatest city in the world, so I don't know what's up. Just figured that blowing a big lead and underachieving are enough to lose your job.

Tyler said...

Keith, good luck with the Johnny Cueto experience today.

El Padrino said...

they are, and that's why he's gone
i'm talking bout the way it went down was not cool

Keith S said...

"i never said i dont understand why he was fired, it was the timing and the way it went down that pisses me off"

OIC

Keith S said...

"Keith, good luck with the Johnny Cueto experience today."

I figured the Dodgers can't hit, so he might only give up 4 runs.

paula pierce has a vagina said...

so, doing something good in life does not allow you to do something 'wrong'.
Some immigrant in my apartment complex parking lot needed me to help charge her car battery. I will probly be late to work, but i do it anyway. I use the carpool lane to get to work faster and bam, get a carpool ticket.

bullshit, do not help people, ever, it gets you nothing, no good karma or anything like that. wft

paula pierce has a vagina said...

would have been much easier to understand getting a ticket if i refused to help the immigrant

blue said...

but was the immigrant hot? because if she was, karma can still get you hot immigrant sex.

Tyler said...

But who gets fired after they win a game? They should have done it when they thought about doing it before when they were on that slide, or waited until after the ASG. You're going to have an interim manager anyway, so why not stay classy and wait another month or so?

Keith S said...

Maybe you can get a beej from the immigrant later.

Tyler said...

Car pool ticket is cashmoney.

Keith S said...

"Hamas says it has truce pact with Israel"


Riiigggggghhhhhhtttttt

iamnicetoyourface said...

"good luck man.

takes some balls to up and move to follow a career."


thanks alot. i've been trying to ignore the whole "being sensible" thing.. so far it's working.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"but was the immigrant hot? because if she was, karma can still get you hot immigrant sex."

or Gondola-rhea

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

*Don Vito'd

iamnicetoyourface said...

"so, doing something good in life does not allow you to do something 'wrong'."


my moral compass agrees with "eye-for-an-eye".

Keith S said...

Jeff Francoeur sucks donkey dick this year. Atlanta has the worst contract year players

El Padrino said...

sucks spiff

iamnicetoyourface said...

i get a daily bible verse email every morning, which makes up for me having lots of promiscuous sex in the evening.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I couldn't tell you the last time I did a good deed.

iamnicetoyourface said...

speaking of which, there is some ass down at the end of the hall which i wish i could drag into a conference room before friday..

for shame.

Tyler said...

Gondola-rhea almost make me spit out water all over my monitor. ALMOST.

Tyler said...

Blew, I sent you a reasonably fair trade offer.

Tyler said...

Iam, don't forget to quit like Scarface did in Half Baked.

Tyler said...

That's the classy way to go out.

paula pierce has a vagina said...

awesome

marisa miller pics

iamnicetoyourface said...

*even though i hit "unsubscribe" months ago, at this point it's the thought that counts.

paula pierce has a vagina said...

"I couldn't tell you the last time I did a good deed."

i just proved that you have been doing the right thing all along

Keith S said...

fake links are hilarity

paula pierce has a vagina said...

lakers by 27 tonight

El Padrino said...

no, they are not

paula pierce has a vagina said...

fixed link

iamnicetoyourface said...

"lakers by 27 tonight"

in the first half?

blue said...

accepted

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"Iam, don't forget to quit like Scarface did in Half Baked."

I did like Jim Breuer when I got canned at a factory. Got up on a work bench and all.

El Padrino said...

i might have to peep Black Gold

blue said...

counter offer

El Padrino said...

"counter offer"


HEY! Hey, nothing goes down unless I'm involved. No Blackjack, no dope deals, no nothing. A nickel bag gets sold in the park in Brooklyn, I WANT IN! You guys got fat while everyone STARVED on the streets. It's my turn.

Keith S said...

El Padwalken

El Padrino said...

yes

Keith S said...

SG is early today

isiah thomas said...

I did like Jim Breuer when I got canned at a factory. Got up on a work bench and all.

was this when you quit to join the NBA?

isiah thomas said...

Dekenokio?

Pinotumbo?

El Padrino said...

hahahahaaaaaaaa

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"was this when you quit to join the NBA?"

When did this happen?

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"Dekenokio?

Pinotumbo?"

I don't get it.

El Padrino said...

Deke, this is what he's referring to

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

No, I understand that. How am I similar to Pinocchio?

El Padrino said...

your lying

El Padrino said...

zeke your boy with only 29 ribbies

that's just awful

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"your lying"

about what?

isiah thomas said...

he needs more B-12 mayne

El Padrino said...

Johan/Lackey tonight spiffer

Tyler said...

Where is this mythical counter offer blew? I'm waiting to see what you're going to insult my intelligence with this time.

paula pierce has a vagina said...

"A friend of mine sat courtside with Matt Damon in seats to the left of the Lakers bench. During the third quarter, with Damon cheering on the Celtics in a green Celtics cap -- great job by him, by the way -- Phil Jackson barked at Damon, according to my friend, "Sit down and shut the f--- up.""

how can you not root for the lakers in this series now, or at least root against the celtics

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Am I lying about playing ball with the Bucks coaches or lying about them tossing around the idea of us being scabs as a lark?

El Padrino said...

zeke a personnel decision for tonight

pick this marlin

Mike Jacobs
Jorge Cantu

note both are hot
they face King Felix in Sea.

Unless we bench your boy Dye (vs Snell at home) or Rowand who is home vs detroit and Kenny Rogers.

Last option would be to bench Yuni Esco but he's been real solid.

whatta think

tem said...

"getting into the music biz. songwriting & production."

iam writes country songs???

El Padrino said...

t whatta looking for, blue sometimes gets weazed out when offering shit

tem said...

"sort of like a sirority"

sirority? stop it, i don't speak whatever that is.

El Padrino said...

this is all because i want to start Casey Blake in Col vs a 6.69 SP

btw

paula pierce has a vagina said...

"Johan/Lackey tonight spiffer"

angels will win their division so i wont feel bad if lackey gets shelled as tyler has him. sucks that i only had the option of going to yesterdays game or tomorrow;s game(because of the lakers) missed out on watching johan, but fuck it

isiah thomas said...

deke - just busting balls mayne.

El Padrino said...

sorry

sorority

Tyler said...

I'm not looking for anything El P, he keeps sending me trades for
Taylor Buchholz. Everyone offers up he drops like three days later.

blue said...

my counter offer was in wacky league i guess

blue said...

king felix has been red hot his last 3 starts, so he'll shit the bed tonight for sure.

«Oldest ‹Older   1 – 200 of 630   Newer› Newest»

Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"





"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug





"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino





"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino