Friday, May 16, 2008

My best friend is gay

Col. Harland Sander I want to kiss you on the mouth. Jesus christ your chicken is delicious.

At the dinner I was just at they have pictures of old wooden ships on the wall and the hallway that leads up to the staircase looks like the Titanic.

I am severely impaired. I call ythe shots.

If jesus were a zorse he'd be one of those rare white ones.

Bobby flay is a great cook but he has man boobs and that's just not cool unless you are meiz.

The bejing games are going to be a disaster. You watch.

If chipper continues this pace i will cut my legs off.

What is wind for? Mother nature is such a bitch.

You bitch.

Kazmir is my homey.

I have allergies but that doesn't make me a pussy so fuck you if your thinking that. I'll bury my foot on your throat. I'm not even kidding i will fight you.

I drooled. I'm 28.

I am going to lay on my wife after this. Maybe something will happen.

White out was solid to sniff as a young whippersnapper.

Still is.

Tp I miss you man. I miss your musk.

That dinner I was at reminds me of Anchorman where he says his apartment is full of ruch mahogany and he has many leather bound books. HAHAHAHAHAHAA.
I gotta watch Anchorman again. It is fucking solid.

I need a hercut.

Ray Crock. Wikipedia that name fuckface.

Home field or home court or whatever home ice seems important again. Just for this year though.

I dojn't know how to iron.

I am 100% drunk. there is no doubt.

No serious.

WASTED.

damn caps lock button.

Who designed the keyboard? Why isn't it in alphabetical order?

The footlong Mozz stick sounds good right now.

Have I rambled enough?

How good would me anc charles barkley get along? Me and Charles was like peas and carrots.

Oh so the preakness. Big Brown, Riley Tucker and Kentucky Bear. Trifecta, box it though cuz i'm not 100% sure Big Brown will drop a big brown on everyone again. I mean it has been like 30 years since we had a TC horse.

And by TC I don't mean Tony Cornheiser.

Wagner troofs:
“Can somebody tell me why the (bleep) the closer being interviewed and I didn’t even play, while they’re over there not getting interviewed? I get it, they’re gone. (Bleeping) shocker.”

Troof.

Him and Whitlock must be brothers. Just like Rob and Big.

582 comments:

1 – 200 of 582   Newer›   Newest»
tem said...

good work.


it's friday.

my back hurts.

tem said...

solid week of drunken posting.

raising the bar.

El Padrino said...

bacon

i need it

blue said...

"my back hurts."

take a midol

blue said...

how were the fingering potatoes?

tem said...

midol is for cramps.

tem said...

either that or it is what helps you get your "ZZZs"

El Padrino said...

no bacon
what a useless cafeteria

El Padrino said...

fingerling's were A+
the steak was delish
i plan on not shitting for a week so my body can fully absorb the beef

blue said...

"midol is for cramps."

ok, i thought it was just for pussies

tem said...

no, if it was just for pussies then only you could take it.

tem said...

i hope meiz is still alive.

blue said...

i just noticed the title of the post, so meiz is EP's best friend?

tem said...

maybe ep has a real life friend who is gay.

blue said...

this isn't real life?

blue said...

or meiz is a make believe character created by sunny doucheluxe

blue said...

i hate brandon webb

El Padrino said...

me and meiz are bff's

HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA

El Padrino said...

txt u lata

El Padrino said...

i c

El Padrino said...

lol

El Padrino said...

13 years old and buying hookers, well done son, well done

blue said...

hookers take credit cards?

El Padrino said...

Escort service one's do

El Padrino said...

the one's in American Psycho do not

El Padrino said...

how silly is this home court shit

blue said...

"They told the suspicious working girls they were people of restricted growth working with a traveling circus, and as State law does not allow those with disabilities to be discriminated against they had no right to refuse them."

this kid is smart

tem said...

smart kid.

tem said...

home court is key.

tem said...

" $30,000 spending spree, culminating in playing "Halo" on an Xbox with a couple of hookers in a Texas motel.
"


i hope they fucked them first.

tem said...

"The escort girls who were released without charge, told the arresting officers something was up when the kids said they would rather play Xbox than get down to business."

kids must be gay.

tem said...

i changed my mind.

dumb kid.

tem said...

terrible parents too.

H said...

is it sad that I know who Ray Crock is without using Wikipedia

and the keyboard is set up that way beacuse of the typewrited and how the keys were set up so the arms wouldn't bash into each other while going to put ink on the page

blue said...

but why aren't they in alphabetical order?

blue said...

ray crock is the mcdonald's guy right? he was awesome

El Padrino said...

aitch has knowledge

El Padrino said...

knowledge other than guitars, mach 3's and salami

blue said...

coffee flavored candy sucks

WHY GOD WHY

blue said...

especially if you're not a fan of coffee

blue said...

home court advantage never helped in intramurals, or in beer leagues

tem said...

even tem knew who ray crock was.

tem said...

keyboard is laid out in the least efficient way possible to that people would type slower.

people would type too fast and typewriters would get all jammed up. (this part gets into what blue was talking about in keeping the bars from banging into each other)

tem said...

HCA did not help up in vball league.

it helped the other team though.

El Padrino said...

you know when you ask a question but you really dont care to get a answer?

H said...

"but why aren't they in alphabetical order?"

I believe they were originally, but because many of the more commonly used letters are close to each other in the alphabet, the arms (i don't know if that's what they're called) would crash into each other and get stuck, so the commonly used letters were seperated to prevent that from happening, which is what led to the key setup we have now.

blue said...

and the guy who devised it was named Qwerty?

tem said...

he was named fagsy

JFreak said...

I thought that was Meiz's name.

tem said...

no, meiz's name is meiz.

tem said...

if meiz dies who is posting on monday?

Tyler said...

Excellent work.

blue said...

tyler posts on monday if meiz dies...he already has the access

blue said...

tyler is the osplov

iamPresidentCharley said...

why is this news? seriously. why would u do a write-up on this?

blue said...

because writers get paid by the word

Spaceman Spiff said...

so the sprinter dude with no legs can try out for the olympics. too bad the record he holds for fastest time with no legs < people with legs qualifying time

blue said...

Marisa Miller #1 in Maxim's top 100 this year.


she's hott

blue said...

i'm sure she's in steve's top 5

Spaceman Spiff said...

so gays/lesbos can get married in cali

Spaceman Spiff said...

BY GAWD

aguilera's tits are still in bazonga mode, beautiful

blue said...

yeah, i saw those yesterday, with the exception of the weird vein, those things are glorious

El Padrino said...

giant tits
i love xtina

blue said...

fuck jordan bratman

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

gfdeke has a weird vein like that. Deke doesn't mind it.

blue said...

too many jokes


i'll let it go

tem said...

HUNGRY

El Padrino said...

it means they are big and natural

blue said...

meiz is still alive..


we were worried about you son

Spaceman Spiff said...

vein in aguilera's tit gives the tit character, approved

blue said...

"it means they are big and natural"

in Xtina's case, it means that she's still producing milk

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

who?

Spaceman Spiff said...

doesnt aguilera have fake tits

blue said...

"doesnt aguilera have fake tits"

that's what i've been told.

it appears that way if you look at her 'genie in the bottle' days, compared to her 'dirty' days

blue said...

fred durst would know

blue said...

breasts comparison

sfw

isiah thomas said...

I'm too drunk to taste this chicken.

El Padrino said...

i think they are real
she was like 16 in that first pic
tits do grow you know

El Padrino said...

Ricky Bobby

iamPresidentCharley said...

hi-dee hi-dee hi-dee ho!

isiah thomas said...

and the guy who devised it was named Qwerty?

look in the upper left of your keyboard

q-w-e-r-t-y

El Padrino said...

You got hair on your peaches or what?

Spaceman Spiff said...

some tit shots w/ nipple ring:

here

and here

Spaceman Spiff said...

if EP thinks they are real, then they are most definitely fake

iamPresidentCharley said...

due to this week i wanna deke myself. for phucks sake, mayne.

isiah thomas said...

Real simple son! Cops are comin', and there's a kilo of Columbian bam bam underneath the car!

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

75 Skills

El Padrino said...

i'm blocked

El Padrino said...

Close the door and come in. I got weed in here, cowboy.

El Padrino said...

the movie get better everytime zeke

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Jesus Fucking Christ. The Cubs get the Pirates AGAIN???

Keith S said...

On this day in 1971...

Marty Liquori held off a hard-charging Jim Ryun on the last turn and won a dramatic mile race at Philadelphia's Franklin Field.

Keith S said...

"you know when you ask a question but you really dont care to get a answer?"

You mean a rhetorical question?

isiah thomas said...

the movie get better everytime zeke

1000% agree.

I've come around on his figure skating movie also.

love Ricky Bobby though.

*in a movie way, not the deke way.

blue said...

"look in the upper left of your keyboard

q-w-e-r-t-y"


I guess I forgot the (s)

El Padrino said...

"You mean a rhetorical question?"

I meant I did not want the answer to the keyboard question. Because I just dont give a fuck.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Braun's gonna hit one over the Monstah tonight.

El Padrino said...

i think that's how all farrel movies are, they are hyped beyond belief then we feel a tad disappointed but when they hit cable and we see them alot they really grow on you

El Padrino said...

Okay, but start up there at the crotch.... that's a better access point.

Keith S said...

Semi-Pro will be like that. It was just ok, but I think it will be better once it hits DVD and I can watch it a few times.

Keith S said...

wall

Keith S said...

"the steak was delish"

Not drunk enough for the wild boar, huh

blue said...

"i think that's how all farrel movies are, they are hyped beyond belief then we feel a tad disappointed but when they hit cable and we see them alot they really grow on you"

that's why Elf is in tem's top 5 movies

Keith S said...

fmk's favorite movie is Elf. I don't get it.

El Padrino said...

"Not drunk enough for the wild boar, huh"

no, they asked early
only had two when they asked

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

ugh. Elf.

Spaceman Spiff said...

zeke, acronyms are in

not the deke way -> NTDW

Keith S said...

"ugh. Elf."

What if it was brokeback elf?

blue said...

"zeke, acronyms are in"

so is esplaining within parentheses (making an explanation so everyone knows what you're talking about)

tem said...

tem did not like elf.

or really semi pro

blue said...

"What if it was brokeback elf?"

aren't all elves gay?

Keith S said...

IT'S FRIIIDDAAAYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!

Keith S said...

mize must have cut against the vein instead of with the vein.

Spaceman Spiff said...

EP is the chuck barkley of LOV (gambling)

El Padrino said...

me and chuck was like peas and carrots

Spaceman Spiff said...

fmspiff also loves elf, its a chick thing.

i do wish i could drink a 2 liter of coke like elf does though

blue said...

elf has its funny moments, it's a lot more fun to watch with little kids because they laugh at stuff you'd just think was stupid, like when he tries to jump up and put the star on the top of the christmas tree. my cousin about died laughing, which made it funny to me.

El Padrino said...

No exaggeration, I couldn't love a human baby as much as I love this brush.

El Padrino said...

starbury training in the mountains

call me el padfast and i'll split your chin

it's a different link

Keith S said...

cumpad

Spaceman Spiff said...

el cumdrino

Spaceman Spiff said...

same story, different link does not = non-cumfastery

blue said...

that was funny

tem said...

"No exaggeration, I couldn't love a human baby as much as I love this brush."

tem even knows what movie this is from.

wow.

blue said...

no this is different.

it's a youtube play off of the article that was linked the other day

blue said...

help yourself to the mane n tale, but don't even think about touching the verticoli

Deluxe said...

Meiz and I are not one in the same

blue said...

i rule no cumfastery on EP's part

blue said...

holy jeebus...where's your yellow bird?

El Padrino said...

thank you

blue said...

and i still think it's hilarious that starbury is running up mountains

El Padrino said...

family guy video

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

woah.

Deluxe said...

"Braun's gonna hit one over the Monstah tonight."

This could be a make or break series for the Brewcrew. With Braun getting his contract yesterday. Why do I have this strange feeling like the Prince will end up getting traded for pitching and Laporta is going to be at first base next year.

blue said...

deluxe is just mad becuase meiz doesn't do this to him

El Padrino said...

i think it's funny he thinks he's still on the team

El Padrino said...

and sad.

Keith S said...

" i'm not 100% sure Big Brown will drop a big brown on everyone again." ("bet the farm on Big Brown")

blue said...

the better line was:

"Stephon what are your plans for next season?"

"to just dominate"

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I can't help it. I love wilks

blue said...

and he looks like he loves you too meiz...he's even holding his weiner (if you know what i mean)

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Yep. I know what you mean.

Deluxe said...

Wilks is good people, I can't rememeer the last time I saw that guy.

"Knock Knees, nobody likes that."

El Padrino said...

is that a ninja turtle movie poster?

Deluxe said...

quit impersonating me


i'm the real deal deluxe

Deluxe said...

Yeah it is. I just threw it up there for now until I find something better.

Deluxe said...

I'm guessing that's blue, you only wish you could be me.

blue said...

the big bird outfit suits you better

Keith S said...

It's been a while since we've had impersonators

blue said...

"I'm guessing that's blue, you only wish you could be me."

but then i couldn't ride the adult rides at the fair...you know the ones with the signs "you must be at least this tall to ride this ride"

Deluxe said...

I've got a bird here for ya.

blue said...

coincidentally, your sister has that same sign on her bedroom door.

Keith S said...

I don't think blue could pull off the sweet earring.

Deluxe said...

"but then i couldn't ride the adult rides at the fair...you know the ones with the signs "you must be at least this tall to ride this ride"

Your not a priest either but it doesn't stop you from going after all those young boys.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Personal barbs.

blue said...

"I've got a bird here for ya."

bird this, retard

*fixed

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

zing

blue said...

"Your not a priest either but it doesn't stop you from going after all those young boys"

don't confuse me with meiz

blue said...

damn, lunchtime

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I prefer adult men, Blew. He has it right.

Deluxe said...

leaving just when it started to get fun.

Keith S said...

TWSS

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"leaving just when it started to get fun."


Blue tends to do that. He starts fights & then runs away.

Deluxe said...

"Blue tends to do that. He starts fights & then runs away.'

I know I am easy to get fired up but I think Blue is even worse then me.

Keith S said...

deluxe = cummy?

Deluxe said...

"deluxe = cummy?"

You want an eye shot?

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"I know I am easy to get fired up but I think Blue is even worse then me."


Grammar is paramount.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Uh oh. Tem won't like this.

Deluxe said...

whatever

Deluxe said...

usually I love to watch the NBA playoffs but something about this year is boring.

Keith S said...

"Grammar is paramount."

Or just be cool if you get called out on it.

Keith S said...

Basketball sucks

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"Or just be cool if you get called out on it."


Very true.

El Padrino said...

it's as intense as ever
but the home teams are blowing out most of the time

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

DMB & Country music are practically the only thing that keep me & Tem from being the same person.

Keith S said...

DMB was cool 10 years ago. Country was never cool.

tem said...

i knew a girl in college who was 5'10" that had a sign like that.

Sadly her height restriction was 6'2", tem is not that tall.

Keith S said...

The stepstool is in the closet if you need it.

tem said...

tem just saw DMB and country talk.

DMB is fucking horrid.

tem said...

country is the most popular music in america.

deal with it.

tem said...

country sells over 10M more records a year than any other genre, has more people who go to its concerts and has the most radio stations.

also it is the preffered music in heaven.

Keith S said...

"country is the most popular music in america."

Way to be a follower.

Keith S said...

"country sells over 10M more records a year than any other genre, has more people who go to its concerts and has the most radio stations."

Just because you can say something doesn't mean it's true.

Deluxe said...

"country is the most popular music in america."

I don't mind some but a lot of it sounds the same to me.

El Padrino said...

Terminator 4 without Arnie is depressing

El Padrino said...

TP

for ctrl F purposes

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

REV

Keith S said...

WC

Keith S said...

I wish this weekend was a 3 day weekend

El Padrino said...

memorial day is soon enough

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"I wish this weekend was a 3 day weekend"

Next weekend, Keef.

tem said...

"Just because you can say something doesn't mean it's true."

if i say it then it is.

Keith S said...

"Next weekend, Keef."

I know. But I can wish that this weekend was, too.

Keith S said...

"if i say it then it is."

Didn't you say you were getting married at one point?

El Padrino said...

hot damn

Keith S said...

That was probably over the line.

JFreak said...

RIP MVN.

Keith S said...

older

Keith S said...

older

Keith S said...

older

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