Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Tough Act to Follow

No way can I match the picture parade that was yesterday's post. My only hope is to just throw some slop up on here and see if it sticks. I'll have to spend some time cooking up something good for next week. In the meantime you get the crap that is an average tem post.

As most everyone should know, Kansas came back from 9 down with about 2 minutes left to win the NCAAs (it took OT, but they won.) As we have been hearing all year Memphis choked on their free throws and it cost them. A costly lesson I guess. The worst part of all of this is that Bill Self is being heralded as a genius for figuring out that they should start to foul Memphis and see what happens. Of course it is Billy Packer leading the parade on this one, which is like Robert Hall leading the Sherrard volunteer fire department parade. Meaning, nobody cares and nobody pays attention. Even if they do throw tootsie rolls out to the crowd.

In case you haven't noticed NHL playoffs have started. Check back in 3 months to find out who won. I know that is an overused joke, but I'll be damned if it isn't true.

Random side note: TFB if you don't like country. LoM is getting some country action. I'll throw a temtrum the likes of which nobody has ever seen before if it doesn't get a post.

MLB update: The Tigers have yet to win. My guess is that they will not finish the year with 0 wins.

TPS Update: Whilst typing all of this I have received 5 emails asking me to do actual work. I need to send a memo about Tuesday mornings.

Another Random side note: If a girl has a big nose, or a funny shaped one, I just can't get past it. I am not even remotely attracted to girls with big noses. She could be rocking from toe to mouth, but if that nose is fucked up them I don't even want to be near her. My friends tell me to just put a paper bag over her head, but I have yet to meet a girl who is actually receptive to that idea. Telling her that "the paper bags are in the kitchen go get one" just doesn't work.

Movie Review of a movie tem has never seen:

The Water Horse: Legend of the Deep

First of all, the title to this screams porn and I must say that it does not disappoint. This movie is the rare porn that stars actual A listers. It is basically the movie everyone has been dreaming of for years. Why can't we watch Mel Gibson go to town on Reese Witherspoon? Well we can and The Water Horse: Legend of the Deep is where we get to watch it. Honestly I can't believe that the Oscars didn't award this film best picture ever. You get to see Mel and Reese, Keanu and Sandra Bullock, Madonna, Britney and Bruce Willis, Denzel and Halle, Beyonce and Depp, and perhaps the best acted scene in movie history Forrest Whitaker (playing a retarded homeless man) stumbling upon an orgy of Jenna Jameson (type casted), Heather Locklear (same), Denise Richards (you can really see how much Heather and Denise hate each other), Sophie Marceu, Selma Hayak, and Jenna Von Oy (not sure how she got in this scene).

Anyway, obviously this movie gets 10 out of 5 helmet stickers. Best. Movie. Ever.

401 comments:

1 – 200 of 401   Newer›   Newest»
steve said...

Good time to be a Jayhawk. Not only do you get to win the national championship, but you get to go threw your old coach to do it.

That's pretty cool. NBA Playoffs, and then sports boredom till November.

Bad Times.

tem said...

you always can watch arena football or baseball or NASCAR.

tem said...

soccer might be in season, i don't really know.

tem said...

WNBA? when do they play? does that league still exist?

ToddPacker said...

nice movie review

tem said...

it is easy to review the best movie ever.

Beth said...

I posted this at the end of the last post, but I want to make sure EP doesn't miss it.

EP, your name for today is "Atlanta Braves >>> NY Mets" and HERE is your picture.

ToddPacker said...

"LoM is getting some country action"



boooooooooooooooooo

Beth said...

Tem, make sure and throw out some Waylon Jennings references. Maybe the Dukes of Hazzard theme... :-)

I'm not a big country fan but I've always liked Willie and Waylon.

tem said...

"I'm not a big country fan but I've always liked Willie"

not surprising.

tem said...

every boo is another country post.

if i can't make it happen meiz will post it.

blue said...

"I'm not a big country fan but I've always liked Willie"


TWSS

blue said...

i listened to country back in the day...i don't know anything about it from the past 6-8 years probably.

except that the chick in sugarland is hot. And so is Kelly Pickler

blue said...

"i've always liked Willie"

TNWBS

tem said...

"except that the chick in sugarland is hot. And so is Kelly Pickler"

probably both in the top 5 of current country chicks.

pickler is dumb to boot, that only enhances her appeal.

Beth said...

Wow, I didn't even realize I set myself up there with that country comment but clearly y'all didn't miss it. Well done.

Beth said...

"pickler is dumb to boot"

Did you happen to see her on "Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader"? She was very cute and pretty likable, but PAINFULLY dumb.

blue said...

oh, she's been dumb since american idol days...leno used her as a reporter for a couple of things and it was always hilarity as to how dumb she was.

of course she's not all that dumb, first thing she did when she started getting paid was get her some new tits....probably sold more records because of that.

tem said...

yeah the new tits are nice.

tem said...

i did not see her on the 5th grader show, but her dumbness is legendary.

blue said...

i did see her on the 5th grader show, she actually did better than I thought she would

Atl Braves>>>>>NY Mets said...

Madonna is a porno would be disgusting.

Otherwise great movie review

Atl Braves>>>>>NY Mets said...

I will post a new LOM entry today, and it will be country related

Atl Braves>>>>>NY Mets said...

sucks to lose any game by missing ft's but a NT game

must sting the nostrils

blue said...

the FT are going to be blamed, but if CDR doesn't try and dunk instead of pull the ball back out and run the clock down, memphis wins...also, they were up 7 with a minute to go and some idiot threw the ball away on the inbounds pass and gave kansas new life...no turnover...game over.

FT were important, but not the real reason they lost

Atl Braves>>>>>NY Mets said...

"That's pretty cool. NBA Playoffs, and then sports boredom till November."

Steve not a beisbol fan
Por Que?

Atl Braves>>>>>NY Mets said...

blue and why didnt they foul kansas? if they foul, they are up one, they inbound get fouled, that would leave about 3 seconds or less then kansas has to try a miracle half court shot

blue said...

I thought the exact same thing...since you can't advance the ball in college in a TO, they should have fouled kansas when they were bringing the ball up to try and win the game.

I said the same thing the other night in the nuggets game, they're up 3 with 6 seconds left and ridenour penetrates and dishes to durant for a 3. Why not fould ridenour and make him shoot FT's, have to do the miss one on purpose thing that never works...coaches are dum sometimes.

Atl Braves>>>>>NY Mets said...

mets hom opener today
last one in shea forever

giddy up

Atl Braves>>>>>NY Mets said...

i hope there is a brawl today
OP plunk RH in that fat nose of his

Beth said...

"mets hom opener today
last one in shea forever"

Chipper's daughter will be sad, there goes her namesake.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I've been here for 20 minutes, and I alreaday have to shit.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Super Nintendo Chalmers plays basketball?

Atl Braves>>>>>NY Mets said...

I have no comeback other than calling chipper a derogatory word for homosexual.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I stopped paying attention to LOV FNBA once I fucked my roster up on Friday.

Beth said...

"I have no comeback other than calling chipper a derogatory word for homosexual"

You're a Mets fan, you're supposed to call him "Larry". That always gets to him.

s

Atl Braves>>>>>NY Mets said...

"You're a Mets fan, you're supposed to call him "Larry". That always gets to him."

everytime i chant this he hits a HR
the man was put on this earth to fuck with met fans

fucking burrell is a met killer too

Beth said...

And for those of you who don't like country music, maybe you just haven't heard the right song that will appeal to your interests.

Here is a video of a country song you might like (video is NSFW), but if you're blocked on the video you can at least check out the lyrics.

Atl Braves>>>>>NY Mets said...

Beth that was awesome

your the best

Beth said...

See, boobies even bring together Braves and Mets fans. :-)

Atl Braves>>>>>NY Mets said...

i couldnt embed it, no option on that site so i linked it on LOM (not done with it yet)

but when everyone gets home watch that video

Atl Braves>>>>>NY Mets said...

Boobies heal the world

Atl Braves>>>>>NY Mets said...

if obama wantes to be elected he should show boobies on his commercials

Atl Braves>>>>>NY Mets said...

a boobie induced Z

Atl Braves>>>>>NY Mets said...

i wish i was in a boobie induced coma

blue said...

rodney carrington is that humor guy...that's an awesome video...I think i've seen about 95% of those movies

Atl Braves>>>>>NY Mets said...

best part about boobies are me guessing what color, shape and outwardness of the areola are

blue said...

AJ was in there...notice no video of portman...therefore AJ top 50, portman, not.

blue said...

i saw the standup comedy routine where the guy sang that song...he has other good ones too.

blue said...

the video is obviously better

blue said...

beth gets member of the day award.

Atl Braves>>>>>NY Mets said...

Visual boobies > non-visual boobies

tem said...

"since you can't advance the ball in college in a TO, they should have fouled kansas when they were bringing the ball up to try and win the game."

not to mention that kansas was out of TOs anyway and couldn't have even called one to draw a play up.

tem said...

boobs are great.

JFreak said...

more than ever hour after our work is never over.

blue said...

freak talking about work is hilarity

Atl Braves>>>>>NY Mets said...

tremendous cuntry love on LOM today, via request from Temster

ToddPacker said...

work it harder make it better

JFreak said...

tp got it.

JFreak said...

blue is poopy pants.

Atl Braves>>>>>NY Mets said...

keef the biz markie vid : nice choice

ToddPacker said...

just saw the power ranking. nice job, blue... too bad i had to play the riot in week 1

blue said...

yeah, the riot had an outstanding week

ToddPacker said...

dropped my truck in for a 100,000 mile tune-up this am.... just got a call from the guy... $2,200 ouch

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

again, fuck work

ToddPacker said...

i agree meiz

tem said...

i concur

tem said...

LOM country love is appreciated.

Spaceman Spiff said...

"delux" had 5 homers last night, losing a matchup on day 1 is no fun

Atl Braves>>>>>NY Mets said...

furry balls had three, that's strong too

tem said...

furry balls had an ok day. last week was bad though.

blue said...

I think my team had 3 last night, including Torii's slam

Atl Braves>>>>>NY Mets said...

the money league i'm in is gay
lineup changed are only made on monday

if i woulda known that i would have been against it from day one

Keith S said...

"TMCMTILOVAD"

Agreed 1000000000000000%

Keith S said...

mize posted at the lemming house yesterday

Atl Braves>>>>>NY Mets said...

what the fuck is that

tem said...

more country talk is needed.

tem said...

how do you know that? did you go to the lemming house?

blue said...

TiNWWCT

Atl Braves>>>>>NY Mets said...

the acronyms are out of control

Keith S said...

"what the fuck is that"

A patch on Cincy's uniform for Joe Nuxhall, who died in the offseason

tem said...

TiNWWCT stumps me.

there is never ... ... country talk?

Keith S said...

He was their color commentary guy and the youngest pitcher in MLB history

tem said...

we had a 1k day and meiz still needed to post somewhere else?

tem said...

"He was their color commentary guy and the youngest pitcher in MLB history"

no he wasn't. Henry Rowengartner was.

Spaceman Spiff said...

EP wuz robbed of 500 bucks, lineup changes once a week? fuck that

tem said...

its the same rule for everyone. its not like el pad has only 1 day and the rest of the league get to change on all 7.

tem said...

stupid rule for sure, but i gotta think it applies to everyone, so everyone is equally fucked.

Keith S said...

Weekly lineup change is ok. That's how my league is

Atl Braves>>>>>NY Mets said...

it's for everyone of course

i dont like it

if someone gets hurt on monday, your porked for stats at that position the whole week

Atl Braves>>>>>NY Mets said...

and you can't really play matchups the way you want to, granted you can see the upoming week but if i got a guy who cant hit lefties maybe i'd sub him out that day

it sucks
it fucking sucks

Atl Braves>>>>>NY Mets said...

NUXY = VUKE

?

blue said...

"TiNWWCT stumps me"

nothing wrong with cuntry talk

tem said...

nuxy = nuxhall.

the 2nd youngest pitcher ever in MLB.

Atl Braves>>>>>NY Mets said...

my commish response to my rabid email was this :

"ok guys heres the deal u will be allowed to make roster moves for injured players up until wed every week u either have to call me or email to do this it can only be someone from your bench n the the player has to be injured not probable or questionable so there it is gonna try to be as fair as possible"

which leads me to say, what if my guy gets hurt on thursday? i'm fucked for the weekend

Keith S said...

Rich Harden scratched from his start today. Shocking

tem said...

less fucked i guess.

Spaceman Spiff said...

is your commish john p. mills?

blue said...

if your guy gets hurt on thursday, you break the commissioner's knees

Atl Braves>>>>>NY Mets said...

is your commish john p. mills?

negative, rest assured if it was he would be assasinated

blue said...

John P. Mills III

blue said...

esquire

Keith S said...

You should probably find out details before you put $500 into something

Spaceman Spiff said...

krod probly going to DL, damn

Spaceman Spiff said...

contract year drafting did not work in this case

Keith S said...

So Clark Griswold was on KU's side last night wearing a KU logo shirt, huh? Hilarity

tem said...

hungry time got postponed until 1pm.

iamresurrected said...

bling bling

Atl Braves>>>>>NY Mets said...

"krod probly going to DL, damn"

exactly my issue

Atl Braves>>>>>NY Mets said...

and keef i took it for granted
i asked questions like how many closers can we start, dh-ing, dl spots, never occured to me about lineup changes

assumed it was daily

assumption is the mother of all fuck ups

Keith S said...

"what if my guy gets hurt on thursday? i'm fucked for the weekend"

What if the guy you're playing has a guy who gets hurt on Thursday? Then you're golden

blue said...

what if you picked up jeter...then you suck

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I'm gonna kill the dude that does nothing. Jacks my fucking PC AGAIN!

No, motherfucker. I wasn't doing anything at all over there. I just had 5 tabs open for the hell of it.

Little fucker. I'll smash you like a fucking bug.

blue said...

meiz is the tab master

Keith S said...

Mize's tabs are no joke

blue said...

i really don't want to work anymore

Atl Braves>>>>>NY Mets said...

1:30 going down to Rosie's Radigans for mets/phils

stoked!

iamresurrected said...

"fuck yo tabs, beeotch!"

blue said...

ryan howard HR...

blue said...

EP never mentioned if he'd take rev's bet

blue said...

ok, so I made up the Ryan Howard HR part.

Atl Braves>>>>>NY Mets said...

"EP never mentioned if he'd take rev's bet"


never saw it

blue said...

he said he left it on your blog...but basically wanted to do a bet for the phils/mets series this week

blue said...

I need David Wright to quit playing like a pussy right about now

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"mize posted at the lemming house yesterday"

Yes. I figured if I have Consumerist privileges, maybe it'll fly at Deadspin. It seems it does.

blue said...

i'm confused

Atl Braves>>>>>NY Mets said...

i guess yeah rev but your not around for a name pic bet....

Atl Braves>>>>>NY Mets said...

off to the bar

blue said...

did anyone mention the sammy recall?

blue said...

who is the lemmings site?

Tyler said...

Sasha Kahn,
Sasha Kahn.

Sasha Kahn,
Sasha Kahn.

Tyler said...

"random presence of bits of glass" is never good when you're drinking.

Tyler said...

WALLy Szczerbiak.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Lunch. Subway.


Good lord, I can't wait for that Pizza Hut/Wing Street to open up

Spaceman Spiff said...

no wing streets with the pizza huts in my area, its awful having to get food for 1 meal from 2 places

ToddPacker said...

"Lunch. Subway."


i had subway today too.... it sucked

ToddPacker said...

HR delgado

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I wish I could find my Washington Senators baseball hat. What thing was sweet.

Keith S said...

weird

Keith S said...

On this day in 1993...

The Green Bay Packers signed the Philadelphia Eagles All-Pro defensive lineman Reggie White to a lucrative free agent contract.

JFreak said...

"weird"

what would it be like to have 4 eyes?

How would your brain interpret all the sensory information it's receiving?

So many questions, no one to answer them.

JFreak said...

where do the two esphogases merge?

what happens when you sneeze? do you only sneeze through one nose at a time?

can you say two different things at the same time?

Keith S said...

Good story

Keith S said...

"Little fucker. I'll smash you like a fucking bug."

Fatass

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Keith ♥ penis

ToddPacker said...

"weird"

if that kid was caught in a lie would it be considered a 2-faced 2-faced kid?

ToddPacker said...

how the hell did perez just walk jamie moyer?

ToddPacker said...

rollins is about to do some damage

Keith S said...

"rollins is about to do some damage"

I hope so

ToddPacker said...

"I hope so"

no, he grounded out

ToddPacker said...

it's up to victorino

Keith S said...

That kid would be four-faced

Atl Braves>>>>>NY Mets said...

"Lunch. Subway."

Pathetic.

ToddPacker said...

rollins is on 1st, so he's probably going to get an SB

Keith S said...

Holier then now

Atl Braves>>>>>NY Mets said...

inning over

Atl Braves>>>>>NY Mets said...

keef everyone knows subway is shit
even you

Keith S said...

Speights is turning pro

ToddPacker said...

"inning over"

yahoo is way behind

Keith S said...

I eat Subway 2-3 times a month

Keith S said...

$4.79 for a sandwich, chips, drink is a good deal.

Atl Braves>>>>>NY Mets said...

castillo hurt, easley at 2b

ToddPacker said...

so far today perez has helped drop my team ERA from 9.95 to 5.57

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

""Lunch. Subway."

Pathetic."


What should I have had?

Atl Braves>>>>>NY Mets said...

"$4.79 for a sandwich, chips, drink is a good deal."

pay for what ya get

ToddPacker said...

"castillo hurt, easley at 2b"

what happen?

ToddPacker said...

at least they get some youth on the field

s

Keith S said...

Atta boy D. Wright

Atl Braves>>>>>NY Mets said...

"What should I have had?"

Pour out the nearest garbage can and i'm sure you'll find better.

Atl Braves>>>>>NY Mets said...

"what happen?"

dont know, he's ancient

Keith S said...

"pay for what ya get"

I don't feel like paying $10 for a lunch. We can't all go out and eat like kings every meal.

Keith S said...

(s)

ToddPacker said...

beltran not so clutch

Keith S said...

NY has the best non-clutch baseball players

Atl Braves>>>>>NY Mets said...

"When a grenade bounced off his chest as he cleared enemy fighters out of Ramadi, Iraq, Petty Officer Michael Monsoor acted out of instinct, jumping on the grenade and taking the full force of the blast"

now that's a hero

JFreak said...

i'm gonna have bunches of fun with the pedro bet payout.

Atl Braves>>>>>NY Mets said...

my instinct is run, his is to jump on the grenade

funny.

ToddPacker said...

"i'm gonna have bunches of fun with the pedro bet payout"


pedro bet payout = new socks

blue said...

fuck david wright

blue said...

baltimore might be good

ToddPacker said...

"baltimore might be good"

i don't think so

blue said...

they don't have shit for a lineup but they've already won almost as many games as they did all of last year.

Keith S said...

I jumped on a grenade once.

Keith S said...

Totally different situation

blue said...

keith is a team player

blue said...

i think if my name was oliver, i'd have a nickname of some sort...like blue

blue said...

or O

ToddPacker said...

"i think if my name was oliver, i'd have a nickname of some sort...like blue"

kind of like if your name was ben

Keith S said...

jilarity

blue said...

pretty much

Atl Braves>>>>>NY Mets said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA

ToddPacker said...

OP got pulled?

blue said...

he couldn't stand the constant name calling

Keith S said...

blue hurt OP's his feelings.

blue said...

i distracted him so much he had a balk and then threw a wild pitch

ToddPacker said...

"he couldn't stand the constant name calling"

i guess so.... they brought in joe smith

Keith S said...

minus "his"

blue said...

willie is more of a vanilla kind of guy anyway

ToddPacker said...

wtf is smith doing

ToddPacker said...

newer

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