Wednesday, April 16, 2008

This post brought to you by Levi's 501, the O.G. of (billie) jeans.

You better rekkanize?

Good morning, my fellow fuck ups. Nice to see you again. Well not really, but that's the expected thing to say to someone. Kinda like "nice to meet you". Except I don't know if it's nice to meet you, cause I just met you. So really I should wait til you're leaving to say nice to meet you.. ya know, if in fact it was nice to meet you. I have never been able to stop myself from the verbal fecal matter that is small talk. Although I hate and loathe it and avoid it at all costs.. if someone says "nice to meet you", I can't stop myself from just parroting it back to them. I'm stupid. But so are most people, so I don't feel as bad. Now granted, I still feel quite superior based on other more meaningful criteria, so I don't feel as bad as I might lead on.

Today's Merriam-Webster Word of the Day (dedicated to Weazy) is:

semelparous \seh-MEL-puh-rus\

adjective
Meaning
: reproducing or breeding only once in a lifetime

Example Sentence: Each year the semelparous salmon return to the stream where they hatched to spawn, and they die soon thereafter.


So i just read the "Blogger Buzz" aka Blogger News for the first time evar and apparently there is a new feature they're working on and have beta testing for, which is "scheduled postings". Just pick your time and your post will automatically get posted. That will be nice for when someone takes a day off or something. yay?

The 2008 footyball schedule was released yesterday. The real football, not soccer, arena, canadian, euro league.. we're talking NFL, just to clarify. Highlight the Colts/Pats and leave it on my desk. Mmkay, thanks.

Yeah this isn't a political blog and I truly do not side with either party so I'm not taking a side here. I think being at any extreme is pretty fucked up and I think both sides have different things that are good to build on, but both are pretty fucked up too. (I actually like the idea of the Independent Party, but it's still too irrelevant to make a challenge). But irregardlessnessly... Obama said some shit about small towns and people being bitter and all that.. I don't get why people don't wanna accept that statements like that truly do have merit. Maybe he worded in a way that all the dumb people got upset, so sue him. Poor selection of words maybe. I guess if you're giving a speech at a special needs school, you better not say "OMG that's so retarded!1!" Lesson learned.

Will the real Pacman Jones please stand up? .... Thanks. Ok, quick, somebody take the shot!!!

My Tigers won 2 in a row in dramatic fashion. Miggy popped a 2-run jack to win the game. So in honor of bitterness in small town, I say WTG you fat little mexi-domini-rican whateverthefuckcountryyourefromcauseyoureallthesametome. That's only partial (s), but seriously.. alot of those countries are pretty close to indistinguishable for me. Except the policiticians tell me that the Mexicans are the ones invading our country, so I know of them a little. It's like anybody of the asian persuasion. Unless you're Spiffg or you had a roommate in college or dated some bitch, there's no way you can just pick em out and tell the difference. Although I'm pretty sure my dad knows the difference though, cause he needed to be able to tell who to shoot and who not to. Good reason I guess. 4o years later those teachings still held up. WTG, U.S. Government!

Melo's bitch is named LaLa. Seriously. I still can't get over that.

Lakers, WTG as well. You got the best record in the West. T oo bad that 2 teams from the east are better than you and will have home court in the Finals. Suck pole, Rapist. Go take your aggression out on a hotel clerk. (Make her call you daddy or some shit too).

I hope EP posts early, just to ease my mind. HowTF do you fall off an escalator? NY has the best deaths?

Tiger Woods (a professional golfer) had knee surgery.

Thanks for listening,
This is Diana Lewis signing off.

464 comments:

1 – 200 of 464   Newer›   Newest»
iamresurrected said...

farewell, post virginity.

Tyler said...

rev

Tyler said...

rev

Tyler said...

rev

Tyler said...

oh wait, we're not even close yet.

Tyler said...

Dude that Mets fan died in front of his daughters. Not a good way to go out.

iamresurrected said...

i'd rather die in front of my family than in front of the whole world.

you fucked up so bad that you became a story.

dumbass.

Tyler said...

Melo is sorry

Tyler said...

"I'm here to man up to my mistake, just to let you know that I'm truly sorry for what happened and everything that's going on,"

Just to let you know and all...

Tyler said...

Time to get ready for work. Out.

Tyler said...

Meiz has a great question for today. Don't forget.

temlonely said...

meiz has a question?

temlonely said...

oops get to change the name back today. i posted enough with this name.

blue said...

melo's press conference kind of made him sound stupid as he just repeated the same thing over and over.

but, i still like it better than if he'd have read a statement written by his lawyers and said stuff like heretofore, and thusly

blue said...

but then again, maybe his lawyer did write that statement, but he "thugged it up" for him.

and assuming that carmelo can read might be a mistake as well.

blue said...

I like the Allen Iverson stood near him during the press conference, like he was his dad or something, and he was making his son tell the neighbors that he broke their window.

tem said...

to clarify from yesterday:

9 or 10 MLs.

got to condo at 4 to wait on cable guy. had 3 MLs in 2hrs. cable guy was there. had 1 ML is the next 30 minutes while he was there.

went to dinner. had 3 or 4MLs at dinner.

went back to the apartment packed some things had 2 more MLS.

9 MLs in a span of about 6hrs with dinner = not drunk.

tem said...

i think kenyon martin was off stage telling melo what to say.

blue said...

of course the 'melo thing is big news on sports radio around here.

and I agree, boy has enough money and should know better, get a limo/taxi something....but...

who hasn't had a little too much to drink and gotten behind the wheel? Not that i'm proud of it, but I think it's quite common.

ToddPacker said...

"I actually like the idea of the Independent Party, but it's still too irrelevant to make a challenge"

i agree

ToddPacker said...

tyler had a nice run last night

blue said...

good to see rev not weaseling out of his bet

ToddPacker said...

oh, the mets won last night back to .500
reyes had 4 hits
wright had 5 rbi
very nice

ToddPacker said...

my team era so far this week is 13.30... not good

blue said...

"Melo's bitch is named LaLa. Seriously. I still can't get over that"

it's her "stage" name..like a stripper....I think her real name is ilania or something

H man commeth said...

kod, I'm also a hockey fan. Just don't mention it much because the Bruins depress me.

ToddPacker said...

re:escalator death

those escalators at shea are scary.... dude must have been drunk, though

blue said...

David Wright is A-ok by me...it's about time that cracker started hitting the ball

ToddPacker said...

i'm with h.... i like the NHL

ToddPacker said...

so tiger is out 4 weeks

tem said...

i like the penguins.

tem said...

Bluejackets are OK because they ain't The Crew.


The Crew = the soccer team here.

blue said...

i pay nominal attention to the Avs here. i'd go to a game if somebody gave me free tickets.

blue said...

so, my team has had 1 save all season...i bench a guy who normally gets holds last night, and he gets a save...awesome

H man commeth said...

501 seems to have much less significance than 500

blue said...

so I had my 2nd interview yesterday, and it went pretty well I guess. It was with the owner's wife, she's a little old lady and all she wanted to talk about were her grandkids, and my daughter and stuff...

I then met like 5 other people in the company...i think that's a good sign, but i'm not sure.

tem said...

yeah that is a good sign.

what company is this for? insurance?

7 games with 17 to go said...

i'm off

good net game
live basketball >>>>>>>>>>>> tv basketball

tem said...

why was the owner's wife interviewing you?

ToddPacker said...

"It was with the owner's wife, she's a little old lady"

nice rack??

blue said...

"why was the owner's wife interviewing you?"

i'll be taking her job

blue said...

yes insurance

she did not have a nice rack like the HR lady from before

blue said...

"live basketball >>>>>>>>>>>> tv basketball"

pretty much any sport live >>>> on tv

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Morning, ladies.

7 games with 17 to go said...

fuck
benched reyes last night

ToddPacker said...

659... nice work, meiz

ToddPacker said...

"benched reyes last night"

nooo

ToddPacker said...

what's meiz's great question

blue said...

you benched reyes and your team is still hitting .477

JFreak said...

I might need to trade for some avg.

I think I'm hitting just above the mendoza line.

JFreak said...

It's Tree Man!!

tem said...

out for awhile.

anticipating this great question though.

blue said...

c'mon meiz, we're waiting

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I'm gonna lose it if this fat fucker fucks up the copy machine.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"what's meiz's great question"

Its not as good as I thought it was. I was hammered last night. It was in regards to the situations where you are forced to explain this place, and why nobody seems to get it.

ToddPacker said...

that's not a question

ToddPacker said...

"that's not a question"

nevermind that comment was about the copy guy

blue said...

EP missed Mariah Carey on American Idol last night...her tits looked great.

who cares if she's insane

blue said...

that still isn't really a question

ToddPacker said...

"It was in regards to the situations where you are forced to explain this place, and why nobody seems to get it"

WC had a good take on this... it's hard not to sound like a loser when you try and explain the LoV

blue said...

and I've given up on trying to explain LoV to people

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"659... nice work, meiz"

It felt better than 659. Can't complain, though.

ToddPacker said...

i remember watching an ASU game last football season:

cmtp - what the hell do you care about this game for

me - i know a guy at the game

cmtp - who do you know in AZ

me - oh, some guy i work with... actually i know 2 guys from AZ

cmtp - whatever


...going with the "some guy i work with" was easier than explaining the LoV, although explaining the beer that showed up in the mail was tough

ToddPacker said...

"It felt better than 659"

did you ever hit 700?

blue said...

cmblue knows about LoV...she thinks it's stupid

ToddPacker said...

"Soriano made what has become his trademark skip to make the catch and landed awkwardly"

soriano has a trademark skip?

ToddPacker said...

"cmblue knows about LoV...she thinks it's stupid"

yeah, cmtp would think it's stupid too

blue said...

that's why he doesn't play 2b anymore, you can't skip around the infield

ToddPacker said...

"that's why he doesn't play 2b anymore, you can't skip around the infield"

i bet tulo likes to skip

blue said...

tulo skips, he skips making contact lately too

blue said...

i'm sure freak can find a video of the soriano skip

Spaceman Spiff said...

"of course the 'melo thing is big news on sports radio around here.

and I agree, boy has enough money and should know better, get a limo/taxi something....but..."


BUT HE WAS JUST WEAVING AND DIDNT DIM HIS LIGHTS!!! IT WAS 4 AM YOU FUCKING MORONS, HE WASNT DRINKING YOU FUCKING MORONS

*fixed

blue said...

nah spiff, i'm not one of them people

he fucked up, he even said he did...i'm just cutting the guy some slack because i can't sit here and say i've never done it.

blue said...

as a matter of fact, my guess is that the teminator with his 9-10 ML last night probably was over the legal limit at one point last night whilst driving.

of course he's a seasoned veteran so he knew to dim his lights and stay in his lane.

blue said...

TDiLoVH...


CHO...that's all there is to say about that

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"did you ever hit 700?"

Yes

Spaceman Spiff said...

mr. brownstone and richard mcbeef

steve said...

Defintly A Step In The Right Direction

iamresurrected said...

"explaining the beer that showed up in the mail was tough"

still makes me laugh

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

my team went 4 for 38 last night. Good work, guys.

Spaceman Spiff said...

bet the people who invented that have a version where they can see boobs, but dialed it down to sell to companies

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

What a slow day so far.

7 games with 17 to go said...

beer in mail was great

7 games with 17 to go said...

spiff throw out a name for me to look on youporn.com

7 games with 17 to go said...

i had 55' Penannt Ale last night at Houlihan's before the Net game

H man commeth said...

Anyone here seen the movie Super Troopers?

Spaceman Spiff said...

angel dark

Spaceman Spiff said...

Anyone here seen the movie Super Troopers?

um, yea, i think there are a few people here who would watch a movie like that

7 games with 17 to go said...

angel dark, very nice

H man commeth said...

I just pulled of the whole "meow" thing on a phone call. It was quite amusing

Spaceman Spiff said...

I just pulled of the whole "meow" thing on a phone call. It was quite amusing

H man commeth said...

are you ust repeating my comment spiff, or did you have one of your own?

Spaceman Spiff said...

was doing "the repeater"

blue said...

full TDiLoVH...

Iam was going by el diablo blanco back then...and tem had a picture of underdog, so not much changed.

tem started some early morning fantasy talk with: "Check out the fantasy base bull league. Mills Luvs The Moosecock just dominated his opponent (The Weasel) and is now in first place."...so season 2 starts much like season one.

TP was in TPS jail...somethings never change.

discussion of how shitty a commish bud selig is... snc

tem announces his softball team name of snatchmasters...RIP snatchmasters

today is emancipation day...so i guess that means that today is emancipation day this year.

Tim duncan was ejected for laughing at Joey Crawford from the bench...

Jordan's divorce is finalized and the bitch got 150M$...damn that's still stings.

tem copy and pastes a long column (maybe 8 scrolls) by Marc Stein about Tim Duncan...i hate that little jew.

Weazy follows it up with a 9 scroller copy and paste by Whitlock about Don Imus....things were way more interesting last year.

WC (rip) breaks the Cho news...keith with the obligitory "was it marcus vick" joke.

Meiz reports that he was drunk...snc

eb hates his ipod...rip eb

spiff announces that Cho "had good aim" as he links 25 dead at VT...

tem updates as 30 dead

tem recaps the previous week for freak...but leaves out the fact that Beth was a sex slave

zeke with a "stranger than fiction" review...really he only said that he thought Maggie G looked hot

weazy resorts to using first names again.

iam blames the VT shooting on chicks...seems reasonable...especially now that we know the first person he shot was some chick who wouldn't ying his yang.

zeke with the "if it bleeds for 7 days, you can't trust it" joke...never gets old.

paul shirley chat...still my favorite chat question/answer ever...somebody asked PS why nobody likes Kobe, PS responded "He's the biggest douche i've ever met"...no wonder PS didn't make the laker team this year

zeke is upset that hollinger chose nash as #4 in his MVP ballott...this must be before everyone realized hollinger is a moron.

nevermind...a few comments later tem said "hollinger is a moron. that is well established"

deke is annoyed at work...snc

guy who lives with wolves talk...that show sucked

VT fatalities up to 33...

we are introduced to the "who wants to sex mutombo" story...he's still my hero

19 days until rev's wedding...he is eggsighted

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"Anyone here seen the movie Super Troopers?"

I think you forgot the S

blue said...

what is supper troopers?

H man commeth said...

I worked 7 meows into the call. gotta increase that next time. not bad for a first run though.

blue said...

meow?

H man commeth said...

have you ever seen the movie Blue?

ToddPacker said...

100

ToddPacker said...

lunch

blue said...

so do you use the word meow instead of now? i don't get it

H man commeth said...

"so do you use the word meow instead of now? i don't get it"

There's a scene in the movie where they pull someone over and they have a bet that the trooper who talks to the guy can't work 10 "meows" into the conversation with a straight face.

So I did that same thing when talking to someone on the phone.

blue said...

but they can't see your face over the phone

blue said...

meow like a cat?

H man commeth said...

"but they can't see your face over the phone"

true, but I had to do it without laughing, which is difficult....

Keith S said...

"spiff throw out a name for me to look on youporn.com"


Look up my neighbor Ashton Moore.

H man commeth said...

yes, Blue, like a cat.

"Is there any way you can get a hold of him meow?" and such

Keith S said...

aitch is gullible

blue said...

"aitch is gullible"

i don't think i could keep it going much longer...to much laughter here

blue said...

two much...

i'm just giving you a hard time H, to see how far you'd take it.

H man commeth said...

asshole. lol

H man commeth said...

i had my fun, guess I gotta allow you yours

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Chicken fucker!

blue said...

i do still need to see Beerfest

Keith S said...

There goes blue's credit rating

tem said...

tem obviously has not seen super troopers.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"tem obviously has not seen super troopers."


This is terrible news

blue said...

not shocking

Keith S said...

ASU spring game on Saturday. Yay

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

golf picks

blue said...

tiger has a knee

tem said...

tiger has too knees

tem said...

OSU spring game if this weekend.

JFreak said...

ronnie woo woo

tem said...

i have to tickets.

JFreak said...

it if what it if if

tem said...

freak ruined my common typo Z

tem said...

i don't like what he did their.

blue said...

i never got the appeal of the spring game...

a bunch of guys you'll never see play go out and play a fake game.

seems dumb

blue said...

bx-x1tm02

tem said...

spring game is OK as long as you realize what it is. (it is what it is)

it is still some talented players playing football and you get to watch it live, so that is nice. and a good reason to tailgate and get hammered before noon. well at least it is A reason.

it just isn't the most talented players on the team.

blue said...

people get eggsighted over the spring game...oh dirty sanchez is going to be our QB, he looked great in the spring game...losers

blue said...

early LUNCH!

Spaceman Spiff said...

"i do still need to see Beerfest"

favorite scene:
$$$ to watch me touch it... through
...what are you looking at ?! (smashes beer bottle) get outta here! get outta here!

JFreak said...

i need to take a meiz.

Tyler said...

It's $10 for a BJ, $12 for an HJ, $15 for a ZJ...

What's a ZJ?

If you have to ask big man, you can't afford it.

H man commeth said...

today has been slow

Tyler said...

God damn brewery! You know that brewery makes 10,000 bottles of beer a day. I drink 45 of them, and I'm the asshole!

Tyler said...

Looks like we got the Brits in Round 1. We already kicked their asses in WWII. Cheer-i-o, let's do it again!

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I was playing ping pong in an opium den in Ding Dang....



You know the rest

Tyler said...

And of course, the classic:

"You're all fur coat and no trousers, you are"

Tyler said...

"You know the rest"

I've been shitting pancakes ever since

JFreak said...

bX-xond6m

JFreak said...

Lakers have the stupidest name in professional sports.

Tyler said...

But dumbest name in all of sports goes to the Hoosiers.

JFreak said...

just because you don't understand it doesn't make it stupid.

JFreak said...

it just makes you stupid.

Tyler said...

It's not that I don't understand it, it's that no one can explain what a Hoosier is or why people from Indiana are called Hoosiers. THAT'S why it's dumb.

Tyler said...

Freak is holier then now.

JFreak said...

The story I've heard most often, and which I believe, is that an Indiana business man with the last name of Hoosier lent his workers to an out-of-state company. They were referred to as "Hoosier's men" and since they were from Indiana, Hoosier became synonymous with a person from Indiana.

Tyler said...

This story is not mentioned in Dunn’s or Mencken’s research, but if there were such a contractor and such events, they would have taken place after the term “Hoosier” was already well established in Appalachia and was becoming attached to Indiana.

JFreak said...

A list of some words we shouldn't use, according to Tyler, since no one knows where or how the terms came to be:

condom
ditsy
fuzz
full-monty
gavel
gig
gimmick
gizmo
gland
glitch
gridion
grunge
gurney
hickey
hockey
jitter
jive
kibosh
lumber
moniker
moot
nerd
phoney
pie
puke
quandry
quiz
shag
shoddy
shrine
shrug
spat
spurt
squid
surf

7 games with 17 to go said...

"Look up my neighbor Ashton Moore."

too tired, Angel Dark wore me out

7 games with 17 to go said...

i can change my name tw right deke?

7 games with 17 to go said...

espn deportes chick turns me on

7 games with 17 to go said...

Tecate?

Tyler said...

Freak is going to be the next Bill Bill O'Reilly. He just needs his own radio talk show.

JFreak said...

If "hoosier" is dumb because no one really knows it's etymology, then why aren't those words dumb and devalued because no one knows their etymology?

7 games with 17 to go said...

bill
hahaaa

7 games with 17 to go said...

"etymology?"

Exactly.

tem said...

i know where hoosier came from, but i am not telling. it is an ancient secret that must not be told.

tem said...

keith, hit my myspace account with an address you want your prize pack sent to.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"i can change my name tw right deke?"

I thought it was only a 2 day job.

Bootney Lee Farnsworth said...

Discovered by the Germans in 1804, they named them "hoosiers", which of course in German means fags.

I'll be honest, I don't think anyone knows what it means anymore.

Tyler said...

"If "hoosier" is dumb because no one really knows it's etymology, then why aren't those words dumb and devalued because no one knows their etymology?"

Because I never said that, YOU made that jump in logic.

Bootney Lee Farnsworth said...

Mike Mayock from NFL Network is a douchebag.

Tyler said...

And projected it onto me.

JFreak said...

you can't have it both ways.

you can't have etymologically unproven words be both dumb and acceptable.

Bootney Lee Farnsworth said...

getcha popcorn ready

Bootney Lee Farnsworth said...

I had that sickeness where you got to shit and throw up at the same time.

I'm calling it Meiztumbo's Revenge.

JFreak said...

my point is that the etymology of the nickname lakers is clear, it refers to the abundance of lakes in minnesota.

for a team in california to retain that nickname is silly.

JFreak said...

Like I said last night, it would be akin to the Texans moving to a place like Wyoming and retaining their current nickname.

7 games with 17 to go said...

huh hello
Utah Jazz takes the cake

JFreak said...

just for the record, you realize I'm bringing this up again today just to boost comments, right?

we hashed this out so much last night I want to puke.

Bootney Lee Farnsworth said...

if 9-10 MLs doesn't get ya drunk Tem then step up your game, up next : cheese heroin.

tem said...

LOVAD is in syndication now and being broadcast in the afternoons.

tem said...

tem does not know what cheese heroin is, or where to get said cheese heroin.

Bootney Lee Farnsworth said...

RIP Rob & Big

Bootney Lee Farnsworth said...

and how come Big's baby was white?

Keith S said...

"i never got the appeal of the spring game...

a bunch of guys you'll never see play go out and play a fake game."


It's football in the spring, and it's free to watch. What else do you need? I'm not going in thinking that it's the Super Bowl.

Keith S said...

"too tired, Angel Dark wore me out"

Probably too much info

Bootney Lee Farnsworth said...

did the NFL break out SOS by division vs non-division game?

If the Pats have the weakest non-division SOS then the fuck the NFL.

Keith S said...

There are lakes in California.

El Padrino said...

Good to be back

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"I had that sickness where you got to shit and throw up at the same time.

I'm calling it Meiztombo's Revenge."


Thank you.

blue said...

wow it's been a long time EP

blue said...

i've always heard hoosiers as referring to someone who is a douche.

yeah, weazy was acting like a real hoosier the other day.

El Padrino said...

Richard Jefferson is Emeka Okafor's new daddy.

blue said...

then why isn't his last name jefferson...maybe he should be emeka okafor-jefferson...because we like the hyphen now

Keith S said...

WFT is it with people falling off shit at NY stadiums? Didn't that happen at a Geeeeeeeee-men game last year?

blue said...

NY does not have the best escalators

Keith S said...

I like escalators because an escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You'll never see an Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order sign, just Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience. We apologize that you can still get up there.

Keith S said...

Who said that?

El Padrino said...

That sounds like Mitch talk keef

Keith S said...

yep

Bootney Lee Farnsworth said...

I believe Hillary Clin-ton said that.

El Padrino said...

since crime is way down NYC is losing the rep for being "dangerous" so they rig escalators now

Keith S said...

Addition to blue's TDiLoVH.

I made the first spiff = SG correlation.

Thank you.

El Padrino said...

newer from the El Pad mansion?

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