Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Sports Blog, Really

Have any of you had that girl in the office who looked really good then went through something major like a death in the family, some illness or a divorce and then just turned into a train wreck?? I got that situation going on here at work. Should I say something to her? Like "hey, workout room is that way if you want to use it" or "hey Nicorette is here is you want to try it" or "put the damn beer bottle down you are a borderline alcoholic." I don't think there is anything I can say to stop it, so I will just watch the train wreck happen. Best case scenario I can use her sudden massive increase in drinking to my advantage. Worst case scenario she crashes her car and kills a family of 5 and I feel forever guilty for not telling her to put down the bottle.

Oddly enough I wanted that paragraph to be funny, but it didn't really turn out that way.

Robot Chicken Skit Idear 1: Hopefully someone on this blog knows what the fuck Robot Chicken is. If not TFB. Anyway, Cobra finds out that the company supplying them with bullets was supplying them blanks the whole time. They go out get a new supplier and then shoot the fuck out of the Joe team. (If this skit already happened I never seen it, so TFB)

Nuggets got SWEPT THE FUCK OUT OF THE PLAYOFFS. I saw this coming. Not sure what that means, but I saw it coming. If I had wrote an NBA playoff preview I would have written that the Nuggets get swept. Also I would have written that the Hawks win their series. Anytime pretty much every expert says Blah Blah team is going to sweep Loser Team, Loser Team stuns the world. Go Hawks, make Beth proud. The only downside is the inevitable "I knew we should have fired Doc" 65,000 article from El Tardo. The Omnibus needs to reign that guy in.

Hockey Update: Playoffs are in round 2, probably. Only 4 more months to go until the Cup is decided and 5 more months until preseason.

Robot Chicken Skit Idear 2: Barbie gets breast reduction surgery. Then none of her friends like her anymore, Ken dumps her ass and she loses her job assuming Barbie had a job. So she gets Dolly Parton implants to win them all back. (If this skit already happened I never seen it, so TFB)

NFL Draft Talk: I gotta say I didn't watch much of the draft. There wasn't anyone I wanted to see where they went to. Tampa Bay didn't have a shot at someone I had heard of, so I didn't care. I bet ratings for this draft were lower than last years. I have no proof of that, but whatever. Anyway, when I did watch I noticed that whoever dresses Keyshawn is color blind and I noticed that he is amazingly dumb. AMAZINGLY. I am pretty sure Steve Young is going to either attack him or egg him on by saying "let's see how many tries it takes you to get into the HoF." This will happen by week 6. Furthermore Key reminds me of our current president in that he never uses the right inflection in his voice when he is talking. It is comical but needs to be stopped.

Random Side Note: 3 people have already walked into my office thinking it was the small conference room. 1 person actually had enough balls or stupidity to ask me "is this the small conference room?" Of course I said "yes" and he is now sitting in the chair on the other side of my desk reading Business First. If he is this dumb then I say he doesn't deserve to be in the meeting that he is supposed to be in.

Oh and of course Smoltz is hurt, he is on the Furry Balls fantasy team. Next up to get hurt, Brandon Webb.

Finally a movie review of a movie tem has never seen:

The Green Mile (El Pad ranked #86)

This movie is an art house movie, which means that it is supposed to have a deep meaning, but nobody can figure out just what. Also it means that at the end they write "Fin." Anyway, this movie is about a chick who smokes cigarettes in her kitchen. Then she inexplicably moves to her bathroom. After about 34 minutes of seeing her smoke someone knocks on her door and yells at her in a foreign language. They give no subtitles, but clearly the fella is upset. The chick cries and 43 minutes of her crying and her makeup running is shown. Then at the end she gets a determined look on her face, throws down her cigarette and stomps it out with a high heel shoe. Oddly she has a high heel shoe on one foot and one of those jelly slipper things on the other. Anyway, then she goes back to the kitchen and lights up another. I guess green means envy or something.

0 helmet stickers out of 5. This movie was dumb.

FIN

503 comments:

1 – 200 of 503   Newer›   Newest»
H said...

yo

tem said...

hi

ToddPacker said...

my name is toddpacker.... and i am a deadbeat

ToddPacker said...

check is going out tonight, tem

blue said...

you're pretty much spot on with your green mile review

ToddPacker said...

tps was brutal yesterday

blue said...

i work with really dumb people

blue said...

I heard on the radio today that 3 UPS workers have already been fired for stealing GTA IV out of packages that were being sent via UPS...maybe this is why Meiz is "off" today.

seriously, you can't wait a couple of days, or just go buy it in the store.

tem said...

the guy who sat down in my office finally figured out this was not the conference room.

H said...

this game is supposed to be the shit huh?

El Padrino said...

beth u name is on lovad, last page, bout halfway down

blue said...

"this game is supposed to be the shit huh?"

according to one review, it's the best game since Zelda, or something

El Padrino said...

here is the pic, your name is Smoltz needs surgery

El Padrino said...

on vaca this week

El Padrino said...

i plan on playing gta iv until my fingers or ass go numb

tem said...

beth got her name already ep. you need to read lov AD.

Smoltz needs surgery said...

"beth u name is on lovad, last page, bout halfway down"

I already posted with my new name and pic on the last posting's thread EP. Try to keep up. :-)

Smoltz needs surgery said...

Don't worry, I'm no weaselette.

tem said...

beth with hilarity at the end of last post:

"Tem, if you were hoping for a college football preview from Keith, I can do that for him:

"Georgia stays #1 the entire season and wins the National Championship"

and

"Ohio State loses in a bowl yet again to an SEC team"

There, done."

blue said...

deadbeats are the worst

H said...

I already miss Beth's titties...

H said...

And damn, how about them Hawks playin some ball. WFT???

Smoltz needs surgery said...

The Hawks have me stunned as much as everyone else H. Notice how I never proposed a bet with you, I figured they were a lost cause.

Smoltz needs surgery said...

And I already miss my titties too...

blue said...

I didn't watch the game, but supposedly KG shoved a ref during an altercation, so there are rumors floating around that he might be suspended for game 5.

blue said...

yeah EP...worst picture ever...

tem said...

touching a ref is a big no no.

especially the chick ref.

tem said...

because she is ugly.

iamresurrected said...

tig ol bitties

Smoltz needs surgery said...

I see what you did there iam.

Smoltz needs surgery said...

And EP, about my name and pic, I can see you put as much effort into it as (judging from the accuracy of it) you put into your draft preview. :-)

iamresurrected said...

i bet that guy (beth's pic) has a fine set of jugs.

H said...

"I didn't watch the game, but supposedly KG shoved a ref during an altercation, so there are rumors floating around that he might be suspended for game 5."

I didn't see him push a ref, but if he did and gets suspended that'll be a huge blow...

H said...

I've been out of touch the last couple days, did Kidd get suspended for his flagrant foul?

blue said...

mike and mike were talking about it this morning, one of the refs was holding onto him, and KG put his forearm into the refs chest and pushed him away.

blue said...

"did Kidd get suspended for his flagrant foul?"

nope

Smoltz needs surgery said...

Is he your type iam?

iamresurrected said...

Kidd - no, b/c it was Jannero Pargo and nobody GAF. if it woulda been CP3, he woulda been gone.

iamresurrected said...

Smoltzy, i'd do it if you were down to join.

tem said...

"one of the refs was holding onto him, and KG put his forearm into the refs chest and pushed him away."

no suspension for that. at least i doubt. only way they suspend KG is if he initiated the contact with the ref.

blue said...

lost in the nuggets horrible display over the 4 game sweep (which I called before the series started), the refs were horrible.

there were multiple times last night where fouls were called way way too late, same thing happened in the earlier games too...I can't wait for El Retardo to start the NBA officiating conspiracy theories again, as the playoffs continue.

blue said...

i don't think he'll get suspended because he's KG, and the league needs the Celtics to win...

if it was Kendrick Perkins, dude would be missing the next 3 games

H said...

there were a lot of hacks that weren't called in the Celts game last night too, but I think it pretty much evened out. There were a few times that fouls weren't called on either team. I understand it's the playoffs, but you can't put the whistles away that much either. That's what leads to the types of altercations that happened.

tem said...

el tardo chat at noon.

El Padrino said...

it's dr james andrews

El Padrino said...

i'm lazy and posting wil be sparse so you get off easy this time

El Padrino said...

jets are gay for not moving up and getting mcfadden

El Padrino said...

they just dont get it

El Padrino said...

mike hart, a colt

tem said...

"if it was Kendrick Perkins, dude would be missing the next 3 games"

obviously.

El Padrino said...

zeke/spiff, wft on colt brennan

El Padrino said...

manningham in the 3rd round is a steal, even if he can't count to ten

El Padrino said...

did the steelers take dixon so they can "Kordell" him

El Padrino said...

the brohm pick was awkward

Smoltz needs surgery said...

"so you get off easy this time"

TWSS

El Padrino said...

i haven't wrote a check in about 8 years

NS

El Padrino said...

pizza is still terrible in florida by the way

good to see things dont change

El Padrino said...

i forgot how many bitches there were though, my neck is sore and shoulder is bruised

El Padrino said...

larry brown just stop it already

El Padrino said...

tem clemens was porking some country star or singer or crooner or white trash women who sang about alcoholism and dogs

your thoughts?

blue said...

i feel like it's yesterday all over again

blue said...

el cumfastrino

tem said...

clemens was poking mindy mccready.

she would not make a current top 10hot country chick list.

back in the day though maybe.

tem said...

he should have been able to do better. i am surprised he did not try to nail chely wright.

El Padrino said...

"el cumfastrino"

your such a dick

blue said...

yeah, mcready was hot when she was 15...to put that in perspective, lets just say that Tom Brady started fooling around with Miley Cyrus....how does that sound?

tem said...

sounds good blue.

blue said...

"your such a dick"

TWSS

oh, and I take that as a compliment

tem said...

get brady thrown in jail.

pats lose again.

blue said...

the pats are set up to win 18 games again next season

tem said...

well that could be good for them if they lose early.

tem said...

wall?

Smoltz needs surgery said...

"your such a dick"

Blue, if you really wanted to be a dick you should've corrected EP's grammar. :-)

blue said...

KG's shove of the ref

it's not as bad as they made it sound on the radio

tem said...

suspend him for 234058290385 games.

blue said...

although he did throw a 'bow at Zaza...zaza is a funny name

blue said...

zaza is the type of name you'd see for some chick on Green Acres.

blue said...

beth is now leading in golf

Mills said...

What up party people?

tem said...

zaza is a name you give a dog or cat.

tem said...

mills just drops in and acts like he never left for months at a time.

blue said...

sounds like someone else we know

tem said...

yeah mills and bfl are blood brothers of some kind.

tem said...

mills is the little brother i guess.

Mills said...

who is BLF?

I have just been super busy at work. It sucks.

tem said...

what's h's band's name?

i want to tell one of my friends in boston to go check them out.

tem said...

bfl = zeke

tem said...

he returned and there was much rejoicing in mudville.

Mills said...

HE did?

What day? I will go check it out?

Why did he say he left?

And please, never link me to him again.

H said...

"what's h's band's name?"

New Day Rising

Mills said...

and i wouldn't be the little brother. zeke is the short-man, thus, the little one.

Mills said...

New Day Rising = totally gay. totally.

Mills said...

you guys couldn't come up with something better?

tem said...

mills knows gay.

tem said...

i am not going back to find out when he returned.

it was the same day corbin returned. or the day before.

Mills said...

anybody got their tax rebate check yet?

H said...

hey mills, go fuck yourself you weaselly cocksucker.

Mills said...

k - i will see if i can find it. i think corbin told me he stopped by in an email (i will go see if i have that)



not that you really care

tem said...

find the post from freak that says "zeke returned"

it is the day before that.

tem said...

lots of people got their check. or their direct deposit.

Mills said...

H - relax. I am just saying "New Day Rising" sounds like the "Tone Rangers" from The Break-Up. If you are a cock-gobbling acapella group, then you are right on the money. Do you sing lead Tenor?

tem said...

blue spent his on 1200 blow jobs.

Keith S said...

EP
Congrats on the 2-30 on the draft picks.

iamresurrected said...

"The NBA fined DeShawn Stevenson $25,000 for "making menacing gestures" during the first quarter of Sunday's game."

funny.

Larry Brown with a young team.. brilliant move.

WFT is Zaza Pachulia and why does he think he can go nose to nose with Garnett?

blue said...

h's band name is 'A New Day Rising'

tem said...

2-30 is better than i would have done.

Keith S said...

Deshawn Stevenson is an awful piece of shit. Everyone on that team just needs to shut the fuck up

tem said...

also nice cfb preview post keith.

you liar.

H said...

I stick by my original statement.

Mills = Cocksucker

tem said...

that is not your original statement.

someone else said it first.

tem said...

HUNGRY

Tyler said...

Check is in the mail, bitches.

tem said...

although you did add "weasely"

Keith S said...

"also nice cfb preview post keith.

you liar."



I hope you really didn't think I was going to do a CFB preview in April.

H said...

fair enough tem. but it doesn't make it any less true.

JFreak said...

El P.

I had thought the Colts were going to hold a few thousand seats for each game to be sold as single gamers.

I was wrong.

All the tickets are gone to season ticket holders. So you'll have to buy some from stubhub or ebay or something like that.

iamresurrected said...

"k - i will see if i can find it. i think corbin told me he stopped by in an email (i will go see if i have that)"

just cause its funny..

blue said...

"Check is in the mail, bitches."

tyler is no deadbeat

Tyler said...

I forgot I have a two hour meeting scheduled in a half hour. I have no idea what we're going to talk about for two hours. This is gonna suck.

blue said...

ah crap...i had the "follow up" box checked

Smoltz needs surgery said...

"WFT is Zaza Pachulia and why does he think he can go nose to nose with Garnett?"

Hey, I'm sure he was hoping KG would take a swing and they'd both get ejected.

As he said later, "I don't take anything from anybody. The message was, 'We're right here. And even if we lose, it's not going to be easy.'"

Tyler said...

Did I forget to mention that I'm going to an AMERICAN GLADIATORS taping this Saturday? It will be the awesomeness.

blue said...

is tyler going to wear a spandex singlet?

blue said...

"'We're right here. And even if we lose, it's not going to be easy.'"

TWSS

blue said...

Zaza is tough, he's like the boy named Sue

Keith S said...

"Boston will win the series ...This is helping them shed their sense of entitlement."


Aitch is sending comments to WWL

H said...

"Aitch is sending comments to WWL"

Nope, but it is a good thought.

H said...

and mills still sucks cock

Mills said...

Well that was basically worthless. Took me forever to find it, and then it was stupid.

You were saying BFL. I took that as Big eFing Loser, not Bootney Lee Farnsworth.

Mills said...

but anyway - his return was dumb. he is dumb.

blue said...

how's the baby boy mills doing?

H said...

"but anyway - his return was dumb. he is dumb."

classic "pot calling the kettle black" situation

Mills said...

Did I forget to mention that I'm going to an AMERICAN GLADIATORS taping this Saturday? It will be the awesomeness.

----------
i am interested to see what you think. I just have this feelign it would be really boring in person.

blue said...

ET chat in 17 minutes

Mills said...

what was SG doing in Vegas on E:60 last night?

Mills said...

Also, what do you think SG makes?

500k?

blue said...

TMQ

if you don't want to read it today, you can always wait until freak links it tomorrow.

H said...

"I have just been super busy at work. It sucks."

No internet access on the street corner, huh weasy?

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Stupid fucking error messages.

Mills said...

The Quad is doing well. I stayed home with him 2 weeks ago while the wife went back to work. Wife wants to work part-time (is going to work 3 days/wk starting mid-May), and now I know why. It is glorious. So much TV, so little time.

Mills said...

how is the baby girl blue?

Mills said...

"I have just been super busy at work. It sucks."

No internet access on the street corner, huh weasy?
------------
that was a terrible effort aitch. do better next time.

blue said...

bgblue is good, she is tall, so probably not my kid

Mills said...

i thought you were like 6'3"?

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Fuck it. Early drinking.

Mills said...

Ken Tremendous (Michael Schur - Mos from The Office) from FireJoeMorgan is on Costas Now on HBO tonight.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"I didn't see him push a ref, but if he did and gets suspended that'll be a huge blow..."


ESPN Featured comment of the day:



Starring Aitch!

H said...

"ESPN Featured comment of the day:"

huh?? I didn't post on ESPN...

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"EP
Congrats on the 2-30 on the draft picks."

Hilarity

El Padrino said...

"EP
Congrats on the 2-30 on the draft picks."


keef did miss me




dick

El Padrino said...

skunkpatch got ryan right

weird.

blue said...

according to TMQ, SI was 4-30 in their mock draft, so EP is at least almost qualified to write for them.

El Padrino said...

no mock draft is ever close

H said...

yea, I can't fault EP on this one

Keith S said...

EP should include his daughter in his NFL/Draft picks to see how his picks stack up against a random selection. Like give her 2 toys w/ the logo of a team on each of them and whichever one she chooses will be her pick for that game.

El Padrino said...

and what 2 out of 30, if you count where the players ended up i hit like 6 of them

for instance it may have been in a different spot but Sendrick Ellis went to the Saints

El Padrino said...

brandon albert is a cheif
kenny phillips is a giant
ellis to saints
dallas, f jones
otah in carolina

so that's 5 out of 30 thank you very much

H said...

wall?

JFreak said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
iamresurrected said...


did Rev renew his vows?

Bootney Lee Farnsworth said...

weasel is here?

awesome.



























































s

JFreak said...

TMQ's tenth of a second rants are getting really, really old.

blue said...

blue temdiary of el retardo chat:

celtics celtics, blah, celtics, celtics celtics hawks, blah, celtics celtics, celtics, south park, celtics, celtics, jbug, celtics, celtics, kg, celtics.


done

blue said...

*probably not enough about the celtics in my temdiary

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Damn. I was just puttin' in some serious work in the kitchen.

iamresurrected said...

For Meiz

blue said...

"Damn. I was just puttin' in some serious work in the kitchen."

Is that a sexual reference? (per keith's comment yesterday)

iamresurrected said...

no, he's working on the triple chin.

iamresurrected said...

*much love, Mize

blue said...

Meiz is using fake names again in the El retardo chat

"Tyler (Richmond, VA): I'm Pooping "

Keith S said...

More chins than a chinese phone book

blue said...

wouldn't a chinese phone book be in chinese?

Bootney Lee Farnsworth said...

I'm disappointed noone adviced temlonely to use that chicks bad fortune to his advantage.

Be her savior temloney - get balls deep in that ho.

Tyler said...

I second Zeke's suggestion for Tem. Do it already. CLEAN HER KITCHEN!

Bootney Lee Farnsworth said...

show her the extra room devoted to gathering toys for homeless/orphaned kids in your new crib = panties droppin

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"Is that a sexual reference? (per keith's comment yesterday)"

I thought about it, but couldn't come up with a decent joke.

Tyler said...

Embezzle the FMLB money and take her out to a fancy dinner at the Olive Garden, then back to your place for drinks, mention the extra room where you store toys for orphaned kids, then close the deal. It's as easy as Beth on Margarita Madness night.

blue said...

margarita madness night is awesome...speaking of that...Cinco De Mayo less than one week away.

blue said...

Cinco De Mayo would be a perfect night for tem to close the deal on the broken woman

Smoltz needs surgery said...

"It's as easy as Beth on Margarita Madness night."

I do like my margaritas.

H said...

"I do like my margaritas."

Shocking

(s)

blue said...

lunch

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Oh hey. Its free prostate exam day @ Miller Park.

Tyler said...

Has freak OD'd on GTA yet?

tem said...

"show her the extra room devoted to gathering toys for homeless/orphaned kids in your new crib = panties droppin"

hilarity.

tem said...

just had my review.

i am doing "good."

tem said...

y'all missed the part where she doesn't look good any more.

i need another month or so of lonliness before i get that desparate.

she went from hot to disaster in about 3 weeks time.

H said...

"y'all missed the part where she doesn't look good any more."

Tem, it's like stocks, bro. Buy low, sell high. If she looks bad and you start givin it to her, it'll make her feel better, she'll fix herself up and suddenly you're banging a hot chick. Man, do we have to explain everything to you?

H said...

btw, It's raining like a muthafucka here, but alas, we have not washed away yet. Sorry to disappoint...

iamresurrected said...

dont kid yourself Tem. youre that desperate. you dont need the time.

Tyler said...

The later you start, the worse off she'll be.

tem said...

"Man, do we have to explain everything to you?"

yes

Bootney Lee Farnsworth said...

y'all missed the part where she doesn't look good any more.

you just need to get back on the bike tem.

Smoltz needs surgery said...

"you just need to get back on the bike tem"

Consider her training wheels Tem.

Bootney Lee Farnsworth said...

is GTA IV available on the 360?

thinking I might get a 360 soon.

tem said...

got it, get her drunk and ride her until i fall off.

tem said...

yahoo! did a fantasy football mock draft. AP went #1. Then LdT.

Keith S said...

On this day in 1986...

Boston Red Sox fireballer Roger Clemens set a major league baseball record by striking out 20 Seattle Mariners batters in a nine-inning game.


Then he went home to his 15-year old mistress

tem said...

and she sang him a song.

tem said...

old?

«Oldest ‹Older   1 – 200 of 503   Newer› Newest»

Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"





"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug





"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino





"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino