Wednesday, March 05, 2008

There are a few things you should know

But you wont learn them here.

College hoops, OSU and Purdue were in OT when i went clicking by... within 1 minute i heard that one player plays with a "Nascar motor" and that he also had a "huge valentine". whoever that announcer is needs to die. somebody look it up, hunt him down, do the right thing. for his sake and for ours.

out for a few weeks and finally back to it.. it feels... like nothing. worked one day, jury duty'd it up yesterday (didnt get picked) and now back to LOV. geez, what a whirlwind week. i am almost overcome with some sort of emotion. i think it is spite, but that's just the intial guess. i'll have to wait til it properly festers to make a final judgment.

so Favre retired. did that get mentioned yet? not to be outdone, Warren Sapp officially leaves too. get outta here fatso.

thanks to this guy for this nugget: "Fielder has another year like his last two, and he will get paid big time after this season."

awesome. i think he's on to something there. speaking of Fielder.. at one point he had a really fat dad that played for my Tigers. i guess i was in junior high or something. we went to a game with a big posterboard to show our love and appreciation. it said "two words for Cecil: slim fast". we were in the upper deck, left center, right on the railing.. so the sign was hung accordingly. apparently the Tiger Stadium officials didnt care for our sign as they quickly made their way up and made us take it down. hey, not a great story, but it was enough to make a couple of assholian j-highers laugh. good nuff.

i just heard that John Elway is gonna retire too. Denver is gonna be shit next year. he is the team.

somebody else post this crap for me, cause i think we have someone coming to visit our regular morning meeting. i am not encouraged by that type of talk. it does not settle well with me. (edit.. apparently no one checked, so i will now post it myself).

there is nothing left to say except you should all be ashamed of yourselves. i am actually ashamed for you. i am pitching you from under my desk.

run along.

347 comments:

1 – 200 of 347   Newer›   Newest»
Tyler said...

BRETT FAVRE IS A QUITTER.

Tyler said...

Woke up late. Gotta go sit in traffic.

Steve said...

"i think we have someone coming to visit our regular morning meeting"


the Bobs?

Steve said...

"Good luck with your layoffs, all right? I hope your firings go really well."

El Padrino said...

i was talking to myself

El Padrino said...

jug and tem your both fired for failing to stop that cunt

-27 helmet stickers

El Padrino said...

and we should strip women of the right to vote

Steve said...

"-27 helmet stickers"

"and we should strip women of the right to vote"

agreed, and agreed.

what the hell is wrong with you westerners?!?!?!?

Steve said...

she was down, all ya'll had to do was kick...and ya fucked it up.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I took a nasty shit

El Padrino said...

really fucked up you guys

even though she wouldnt win the general election it's a risk we cant take

Steve said...

If she ends up winning the general election. I'm going to start a movement to kick Ohio and Texas out of the union.

They obviously have their heads up their asses and I now have some reservations about their ability to contribute to the greater good.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

What is the deal with old ladies and greeting cards?

Beth said...

"and we should strip women of the right to vote"

Hey, don't blame all of us, I didn't vote for her.

Keith S said...

This is retarded

El Padrino said...

sorry beth, but if you have a vagina (and i can smell it from here) you cant vote

El Padrino said...

it's a good smell, dont fret

El Padrino said...

i imagine it smells like a new sunflower, while a crisp fresh breeze blows slightly from the west and just the right amount of sunshine drapes the plant

El Padrino said...

keef jemele hill wrote that?

Keith S said...

Scoop Jackson

El Padrino said...

I C

Beth said...

"i imagine it smells like a new sunflower, while a crisp fresh breeze blows slightly from the west and just the right amount of sunshine drapes the plant"

EP, the fact that you could write such a girly sentence means that using your "can't vote if you have a vagina" test that you shouldn't be able to vote either. :-)

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Jackass 2.5 is really fucked up. Hilarious, but fucked up.

El Padrino said...

beth i can't help not being a prolific descriptive writer

have you not read up on my romantic novel musings that posted here in the past?

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"EP, the fact that you could write such a girly sentence means that using your "can't vote if you have a vagina" test that you shouldn't be able to vote either. :-)"


Don't fight it, Beth. EP is a cunning linguist.

Beth said...

It's ok to embrace your feminine side EP. It just means you can't vote though.

Beth said...

"Don't fight it, Beth. EP is a cunning linguist."

Very funny Meiz except now you have me confused, was it TJW or you who's the 15 year old boy? :-)

El Padrino said...

beth cmon, the only feminine thing i can think of that i practice in my life is that i watch American Idol (only since the year after that gray haired idiot won)..everything about me yells MAN.

El Padrino said...

deke knows

Keith S said...

Your obsession with shirtless Eli notwithstanding

iamresurrected said...

buying the black anal beads instead of the purple was a more manly decision too.

Beth said...

Very good points by both keith and iam. Come on EP, don't fight it. :-)

El Padrino said...

"Your obsession with shirtless Eli notwithstanding"

of course.

El Padrino said...

el pad never messes with the anal cavity

El Padrino said...

glory hole was used to describe the orafice of a vagina

blue said...

and i'm back

blue said...

from the last post:

EP said "why are players signing with the Raiders"

and the answer is:

because Al Davis is paying them enormous amounts of cash...55M for Javon Walker, are you kidding me?

El Padrino said...

great article on Steve Jobs

El Padrino said...

i hear ya blue


spare me the " i want a chance to win " football players

blue said...

can somebody let me know when ESPN finally gets rid of the picture of Favre on the front page...that's when i will return to their site.

blue said...

when does tem come back from the land of poon and honey?

Spaceman Spiff said...

holy shnizzle

priscilla lee presley looking just like her dad(fat version)

El Padrino said...

i have bronchitis again
i know it

that's like the 12th time i've had it since 2001, prior to that i think i only had it like once

i'm gonna tell my dr bout that

i was back working in downtown manhattan 6 days after the attacks
and was covered in that wtc dust on that day

blue said...

wasn't priscilla Elvis' wife, and lisa marie, his kid?

iamresurrected said...

shoulda worn a SARS mask like the chinaman next to u on the train.

Keith S said...

Fake links suck

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Whew. Escaped the clutches of TPS

Jugdish said...

RE: Texas

Come on now, Texas is a red state and we will pull our weight in the Presidential election, where it really matters. I mean choosing between Obama and Hillary is like deciding if you want to drink piss or eat shit.

And its not like we elected the bitch as one of our senators either. Your state put her in this position in the first place.

El Padrino said...

I had nothing to do with that jug.
But i like your response.

El Padrino said...

Sars mask = great call

THEN.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I had a dream last night that we had a gathering, and the quitter turned out to be a girl.

blue said...

"shoulda worn a SARS mask like the chinaman next to u on the train."

dude, the preferred nomenclature is asian americans

Spaceman Spiff said...

correct blue, lisa marie looking fat
fixed link

Jugdish said...

I couldn't bring myself to vote in the democratic primary anyways.

Obama's whole campaign is "I'm not George Bush!"

blue said...

if we had a gathering, the quitter would be too much of a pussy to show up anyway...or he'd show up and then just leave all of a sudden

blue said...

lisa marie used to be kind of hot...but damn that's some gross shit.

Jugdish said...

Wasn't lisa marie hooked up with Michael Jackson? That's really all we need to know about her.

El Padrino said...

mybe she's scarfing down those pb/banana fried sammiches

Return of the H said...

i think we need a good slapper. it's been too long

blue said...

screw you H

Jugdish said...

What gathering are we talking about?

Return of the H said...

get fucked blue. lol

iamresurrected said...

wasnt lisa marie the one who lit up Graceland blue for the Memphis/TN ball game? they showed her and she was not obese.

Return of the H said...

I'm hungry

Spaceman Spiff said...

no that was her mom iam

blue said...

"wasnt lisa marie the one who lit up Graceland blue for the Memphis/TN ball game? they showed her and she was not obese"

that was priscilla

Return of the H said...

I'm going to Virginia Beach this weekend/early next week. you'd think I'd be happy about this, but it is for work purposes...

Spaceman Spiff said...

priscilla had a shit load of surgery on her face but at least shes skinny

El Padrino said...

lol dropped @ 12:25

Jugdish said...

Ray Lewis to the UFC?

Return of the H said...

"lol dropped @ 12:25"

was intended to get a rise out of Blue

El Padrino said...

i would piss my pants if i got put in a ring with ray lewis on the other side

El Padrino said...

dont make me use this

Jugdish said...

Ray Lewis vs Brock Lesner


I'd like to see that.

El Padrino said...

smells like shit

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"i would piss my pants if i got put in a ring with ray lewis on the other side"

I don't think Dana White allows posses and pistols in UFC.

Keith S said...

"Obama's whole campaign is "I'm not George Bush!""

I could think of worse campaign slogans

Return of the H said...

a 2 inch gun. sounds like what cumfast has been dealing with his entire life...

Keith S said...

zzzzzzzing

Keith S said...

On this day in 1993...

Washington Redskins coach Joe Gibbs, who had won three Super Bowl championships in 12 years, announced his retirement.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

John McCain is going to try to outlaw MMA if elected.

Really? That's one of the important issues these days?

blue said...

""lol dropped @ 12:25"

was intended to get a rise out of Blue"

I don't mind the use of lol...i even give out LoL awards, but they are very rare.

El Padrino said...

Marcus Thames to the Mets for Jorge Sosa , being reported dont know if it's final....det gets bullpen help we get a power bat off the bench

iamresurrected said...


Double Dare

iamresurrected said...

marcus has got some pop

blue said...

although I do mind the overuse of "lol"...there's no excuse for that.

blue said...

double dare was a fun show...physical challenge

Steve said...

Went to Arby's. Ordered the bacon cheddar roast beef.

Got back to the office and i am very disappointed to discover that there is no bacon on my sandwich.

Keith S said...

Unless NYM hired Dr. Henry Jay Heimlich as their team physician, it doesn't matter which players they get.

Keith S said...

I preferred Fun House to Double Dare when I was a kid.

Steve said...

Double Dare was AWSOME!!! So was that other show, the one where they dumped slime on people's heads.

Keith S said...

You can't do that on television?

El Padrino said...

how long is keef gonna ride that collapse/choking nonsense

El Padrino said...

jeaz-a-loo

Keith S said...

Until they make up for it.

El Padrino said...

oh i thought you were gonna say until the reds make some noise in the weakest division in baseball
cuz the answer would have been never

Keith S said...

oooooohhhhhh

Keith S said...

Is TP going to the FU/UT game tonight?

Keith S said...

The Reds have won a World Series more recently than the Mets.

Keith S said...

That's all I got.

El Padrino said...

Fair point.

blue said...

so's your face

blue said...

and the Reds had Eric Davis

Steve said...

Not that i'd kick her out of bed or anything, but doesn't her ass look kinda large, ya know, being a supermodel and all.

blue said...

jeez-a-loo cracked me up

El Padrino said...

I'm panicking now.

Jose Reyes (SS) - healthy
Luis Castillo (2B) - OUT -- knees
David Wright (3B) - healthy
Carlos Beltran (CF) - OUT -- knees
Carlos Delgado (1B)-OUT -- hip
Moises Alou (LF - OUT -- groin
Ryan Church (RF)- OUT-- concussion
Brian Schneider (C)-OUT -hamstring
Johan Santana (LHP) ... pitching

Steve said...

Now this is the kinda ass you'd expect on a supermodel.

Keith S said...

Barry Larkin was >>> any Mets player ever

El Padrino said...

ass is fine by me

Keith S said...

Nothing wrong w/ a big ass.

Spaceman Spiff said...

those jeans arent low-rise, makes the ass look longer

Steve said...

agreed.

but still, she's a supermodel. she's supposed to be a tall bony chick with big tits. ghetto ass's don't usually make the cut.

El Padrino said...

"Barry Larkin was >>> any Mets player ever"

david wright will change this

also to clarify, do you mean during Larkin's tenure or Ever?

Steve said...

"those jeans arent low-rise, makes the ass look longer"


why do you know that?

Keith S said...

"also to clarify, do you mean during Larkin's tenure or Ever?"

ever. And I'm talking about position players, obviously.

blue said...

"why do you know that?"

I was going to say the same thing as spiff...if the waist of the jeans is at her armpits it makes her ass look longer.

blue said...

larkin is no mookie

Daily Inclination said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Spaceman Spiff said...

why do you know that?

ive lived in orange county for 5 years

Spaceman Spiff said...

if you call that a ghetto booty youve never seen a ghetto booty

Keith S said...

Yay, more lurkers

Spaceman Spiff said...

and sometimes theres a difference between a runway supermodel, and a victorias secret supermodel, like tyra banks

El Padrino said...

I have no rebuttal due to the fact that Larkin played his entire career a Red and the guys I would reference played with two or three different teams (Carter, Hernandez)

Return of the H said...

dude, there is nothing at all wrong with that ass!!

Keith S said...

steve just doesn't know because every chick in NC wears mom jeans.

El Padrino said...

Willie Mays of course too

Keith S said...

Willie Mays was not good when he played in NY.

Steve said...

nope, that one was me.


I'm just saying. i bet all the other models talk about her behind back and shit.

"God she's sooooooo fat, she needs to do more cocaine." etc etc.

Keith S said...

"I'm just saying. i bet all the other models talk about her behind back and shit."

I'd bet that happens no matter who it is and what they look like. Those bitches are catty.

Return of the H said...

dude, that is a perfect ass in fact...

this whole line of logic is perplexing me...

Keith S said...

aitch, you have a gf now, you shouldn't be looking at those pics.

Return of the H said...

lucky for me she is not a jealous person. she's actually really cool about stuff, knows that flirting and dancing with girls is part of the whole show and is totally cool with it. She's gonna make a good band girlfriend...

Spaceman Spiff said...

summary: when steve sees a nice booty on a model, he does not admire it, he analyzes it as he thinks another model would.

Steve said...

"this whole line of logic is perplexing me..."


missing my point, i'm not saying there is anything wrong with her. She's perfect. I'm just saying, for a supermodel, that's a big ass.

Keith S said...

I was kidding, h

Return of the H said...

for a lingerie model, i would think you'd want a shapely ass. a thong doesn't make a flat ass look any better in my humble opinion.

Keith S said...

TMSAT

(SSSSSSSSSS)

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Not a ghetto ass.


Mom jeans.

Return of the H said...

i know keith. but that actually does impress me about her, thought it was worth mentioning. its tough dating girls when you're a rockstar, they tend to get jealous...

Steve said...

TMSAT


what does this one mean?

El Padrino said...

APPLE BOTTOM JEANS, BOOTS WITH THE FURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

hate hate hate

Keith S said...

"its tough dating girls when you're a rockstar, they tend to get jealous..."

I hear ya. fmkeef has been going crazy since I starting playing Guitar Hero.

El Padrino said...

gets the club jumpin though

Keith S said...

That song is on every time I turn on the radio, EP. I'm tired of it.

El Padrino said...

blue farve off wwl

El Padrino said...

it was replaced by a mock lottery for the nba, even though it's march

wwl is off the wagon

Return of the H said...

"I hear ya. fmkeef has been going crazy since I starting playing Guitar Hero."

I've heard this is a growing problem

El Padrino said...

"That song is on every time I turn on the radio, EP. I'm tired of it."

same here, and i only turn the radio on for maybe like 14 seconds
or as long as it takes me to fire up the ipod

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"lucky for me she is not a jealous person. she's actually really cool about stuff, knows that flirting and dancing with girls is part of the whole show and is totally cool with it."

You keep telling your self that. I'll be busy knowing the truth.

El Padrino said...

geetar hero hilarity

El Padrino said...

deke hilarity

Return of the H said...

"You keep telling your self that. I'll be busy knowing the truth."

which is??

Keith S said...

Probably the opposite of what you said.

Spaceman Spiff said...

no girl is totally cool with that H, none

Spaceman Spiff said...

its not an issue of 'being totally cool' with it, its about accepting it, like athlete's wives knowing the athletes cheat on them on a regular basis. theyre not cool with it, but they let it slide

Return of the H said...

haha, i know. but some are more tolerant than others. I seem to have found one on the more side. past experiences have been dealing with far less tolerant girls

Steve said...

Swayze, 5 weeks to live.

As reported by the National Enquirer...but still.

R.I.P. Road House.

El Padrino said...

the swayze

Return of the H said...

can we really believe a national enquirer report?

Steve said...

"can we really believe a national enquirer report?"


na, not really. but i'm sure every now and then they get one right.

Keith S said...

If it's on the Internet, it's true

Keith S said...

Bible confirms it. Case closed

Return of the H said...

i begs the question though, will Road House be how he is remembered for all time?

Return of the H said...

or will the women insist on ghost or dirty dancing as his legacy?

Spaceman Spiff said...

nobody puts baby in a corner...



except a corner coffin
too soon?

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"it begs the question though, will Road House be how he is remembered for all time?"


We can only hope.

Keith S said...

I'll remember him for doing the Chippendale's tryout with Chris Farley on SNL.

Keith S said...

REitGC

Keith S said...

"TMSAT


what does this one mean?"

Missed this one earlier. Too much supermodel ass talk. That was sarcasm.

JFreak said...

SG admits he's been making up the e-mails all along

blue said...

i will always remember patrick swayze for the hans and franz skit...

Keith S said...

Does beth (s)*wall(ow)

Return of the H said...

lull

Return of the H said...

is the sky blue?

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I got nothin'

blue said...

"end up dating a 37-year-old, 190-pound, chain-smoking divorcee from Appleton named Betty who's coming off her first angioplasty and wears a Brett Favre jersey to bed every night"


this is what meiz has to look forward to

blue said...

you guys suck

blue said...

you're the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked

Keith S said...

so does your face

blue said...

"so does your face"

only on fmkeith's titays

blue said...

i'm still enjoying the kate hudson thong picture...that's her best side by far

El Padrino said...

Marta looking gooood today

El Padrino said...

she is from spain

El Padrino said...

were lame lately
why is that?

El Padrino said...

we still have our moments though

blue said...

spanish women are hot...unless they don't shave their pits ala penelope cruz...then not so hot.

blue said...

"were lame lately
why is that?"

with TP being abused by TPS and tem going out of town, we're a shell of what we used to be..the quitter used to pick up that slack

El Padrino said...

i will not allow this to happen
wake up people!

El Padrino said...

TITS

Keith S said...

We're not as bad as the dslemmings. They have 8 comments today.

blue said...

8 comments? ahahahahahah

EP gets more than that on his blog

blue said...

EP back with the pablo...good move...means its time to get serious

El Padrino said...

i still cant believe Javon's Walker contract

blue said...

Javon's contract has to be a joke...it's actually way more money than his contract with the broncos, which any team could have had for a 6th round pick...

El Padrino said...

dude it's the same contract has RANDY MOSS'S (if you compare the first 3 years) and Randy just shattered the NFL TD record!!!!!


I SAY THIS

WHAT FUCK THE!

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"this is what meiz has to look forward to"

Not a chance. gf pretty much hates all sports except for baseball.

Its true. Chicks dig the longball.

ToddPacker said...

i hate javon walker

ToddPacker said...

"Is TP going to the FU/UT game tonight?"

no

ToddPacker said...

tps is in total control

ToddPacker said...

nice to see pablo instead of that manning jerk

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