Monday, March 03, 2008

I'm buzzin', Dirty Dozen naughty rotten rhymer...


City Hall?


Sal's Pizza. The real deal. Off the boat shit. Eat it EP.


The dizucks. We be feedin' 'em here and there.


Still sour over blowing the 300



Does anybody know what the fuck the USB ports are for on a PS2?


G'Town beat Marquette in OT. So what?

I really hope some how, some way, Simmons can turn up as the Bucks' GM.


I don't even fucking know any more. I just got Stadium Sauce all over the fucking place. GF's fault. Bitch can't put shit away in an orderly manner.

I'm gonna fucking kill some one.

631 comments:

1 – 200 of 631   Newer›   Newest»
Dikembe Meiztombo said...

The new format is gay as fuck. Can't caption a picture. Fuck this bullshit

Keith S said...

You got the pictures labeled wrong

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

No shit?

Keith S said...

Unless you get a 300 at the pizza place and they have off the boat pizza at the bowling alley

Keith S said...

289/180 in the same series makes me laugh, because I can picture mize getting so pissed off.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I was too drunk. I'm more pissed now.

I won't try anymore, now.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I was super pissed after 289.

Total waste of my time. Just like every other Tuesday.

Keith S said...

We won by 12 in softball again tonight. That's 2 weeks in a row.

Keith S said...

It was windy as fuck, too. I probably inhaled about a pound of dust in the field.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I just don't give a fuck

Keith S said...

Eminem wrote a song with that title.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

really?

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

s

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

newer

Keith S said...

"Does anybody know what the fuck the USB ports are for on a PS2?"

I think you can plug in headphones for some of those online games.

Keith S said...

Fielder needs to stop bitching about his salary.

Keith S said...

In case anyone missed this from the weekend...

"Dikembe Meiztombo said...
I'll say it. MJ in his prime couldn't hang with Bron Bron."


Feel free to mock him.

El Padrino said...

what a weekend
if i had a womb it'd be so polluted

El Padrino said...

i take it deke is thinking that because bron bron is stronger physically that he'd wear MJ out

i dont know where i stand on this yet but i'm leaning towards mocking deke

Tyler said...

So some dude at your bowling alley has to put up the high scores old school style? They should invest in a computer and a flatscreen TV.

Tyler said...

I fixed your captions by the way.

Tyler said...

They are now not retarded.

Tyler said...

Early morning Z?

Tyler said...

Yes! And I'm out. Fuck a Monday.

Tyler said...

You also forgot to mention that you got waxed by the Tim Donaghy All-Stars 7-1-1.

tem said...

TPS is angry.

I am going out of town today.

Tomorrow's post is up in the air for me. I'll try to put a draft out there that someone can publish.

tem said...

trades killed my FNBA team.

Kurt Thomas is worthless now.

Marion to the Heat gave me the two best players on the worst team in the league.

Fucktard GMs, don't they think of all the ramifacations of this shit??

blue said...

Jordan...and don't disrespect the game by going all fucking shamford.

bron is good, and when he hits his prime...maybe...but call me when he wins 6 championships in 8 years...One final note...Jordan played in an era where you could hand check and basically mug the guy handling the ball...he would avg 40/game with today's rules.

El Padrino said...

bacon and egg is just what the Dr. ordered

blue said...

meizford

tem said...

jordan is too old to average 40 per game now.

tem said...

and unless he leaves 15 minutes earlier young jordan ain't walking through that door.

El Padrino said...

i spoke with howie mandell
he was funny, actually

El Padrino said...

U.S. Stock-Index Futures Drop; Europe Retreats; Asia Has Steeper Declines ..

market down 320 at the open
Tem if this keeps up they'll be handing you a mortgage at about 5%

El Padrino said...

where's wall*do

Beth said...

"i spoke with howie mandell
he was funny, actually"

Details please EP, I'm a Howie fan. (Cue the "beth wants to sleep with Howie" comments.)

blue said...

beth likes bald men

blue said...

bald men with gay earrings

Beth said...

It's more that Beth likes funny men, and I thought when Howie was doing stand-up he was quite funny.

blue said...

you can buy scarlett johansson

by the way, she's top 5 for me

blue said...

do you ever make fmbeth say "deal.......or no deal" before giving him RE?

Jugdish said...

I can do a decent impression of the Bobby voice.

El Padrino said...

he was in AC, bout 4 am him and i guess his wife were walking through the casino and i was at a hold-em table, as he walked by i said deal and he turned around and said "well that's original", i said come back tell us something funny...and he said he would.

lo and behold about a half hour later he did come back and told a few jokes, said he was polishing up his stand up act for april, actually was funny shit he then offered us drinks at the adjacent bar, nice guy

i joked with him about the handshake thing, he was semi-serious about it

Jugdish said...

BTW...next shuttle launch is March 11 at 2:28 AM EST...who is in?

tem said...

i will go to space.

blue said...

is jug going to live blog the next shuttle launch?

tem said...

"market down 320 at the open
Tem if this keeps up they'll be handing you a mortgage at about 5%"

keep up the good work el pad.

Beth said...

Pretty cool story EP, although I agree with Howie, the "deal" comment WAS pretty lame. :-)

El Padrino said...

"Pretty cool story EP, although I agree with Howie, the "deal" comment WAS pretty lame. :-)"

it was 4am and i was polluted

Beth said...

Oh, and what did his wife look like? :-)

El Padrino said...

i also saw the DA in Law and Order SVU

Casey Novak
she is really pale

tem said...

i'd wreck DA Novak

tem said...

she ain't that hot, but i'd still wreck it.

tem said...

beth, Arena ball was fun.

i was not lying.

tem said...

Novak ain't ugly though. Just not Underwood hot or anything.

tem said...

IU, thanks for showing up yesterday.

Jugdish said...

I will not be live blogging the next shuttle launch.

El Padrino said...

bout the same size as him, brunette decent looking
he didnt come back with her so i only got a glance

El Padrino said...

i'd wreck novak too tem

blue said...

"beth, Arena ball was fun.

i was not lying."

i think columbus comes here this week...but i don't know...that's the shitty thing about arena league games, what day are they on?

Beth said...

"beth, Arena ball was fun"

Definitely Tem. I expected it to be fast paced but it was still faster than I expected. Although there's a definite feel of minor league ball to it with all the promotions and gimmicks they do during the time outs.

But you can't beat the price and accessibility, and of course the Force has 2 former UGA players on the team. :-)

blue said...

oh, i guess they beat columbus yesterday...see what I know

tem said...

columbus was there yesterday.

columbus lost by 3.

tem said...

if you wait a bit and leave you can still make the game.

tem said...

"But you can't beat the price and accessibility, and of course the Force has 2 former UGA players on the team. :-)"

columbus does this with OSU people. IDGAF about OSU players.

but I axed them to keep a mountaineer on the team and the GM keeps one on there for me.

well not really, but there has always been at least 1 WVU guy on the team.

tem said...

10 worst things to say at work:

1. “That’s not my job.”
2. “Yeah, no problem.”
3. “Don’t tell anyone I said this, but … ”
4. “I haven’t had a raise in four years.”
5. “It’s not my fault.”
6. “To be honest with you … ”
7. “Whom did you vote for?”
8. “I got so trashed last night”
9. “I just didn’t have enough time for that.”
10. “. . . or else.”


i have only said 2 of those things. i must be a good worker.

blue said...

i'm going to use all of those lines in conversation today

tem said...

you can do that because you are getting a new job soon. maybe.

Beth said...

"10 worst things to say at work"

On my list would be:
"Wow am I attracted to you" to a female boss. :-)

I think that line would also make Blue's list about his gay boss...

blue said...

Jack ♥ Hillary

blue said...

"you can do that because you are getting a new job soon. maybe."

come to find out, i suck, so i'll probably be stuck here the rest of my life

tem said...

""Wow am I attracted to you""

to any boss might be bad.

tem said...

"come to find out, i suck"

that is ok. next time just pretend that you don't suck.

tem said...

rev?

blue said...

on the list of things not to say at work "those pants really make your ass look nice"

especially not good to say to another dude.

blue said...

"next time just pretend that you don't suck."

cmblue offered to help me with my interviewing skillz...it made me laugh

tem said...

bad things in Semi-Pro per some guideline thing:

20 F-words, 31 sexual references, 26 scatological terms, 31 anatomical terms, 19 mild obscenities, name-calling (retard, chick, dirty hippie, idiot, jive turkey, dumb), 12 references to vomit, 5 religious profanities, 7 religious exclamations.

Beth said...

"come to find out, i suck, so i'll probably be stuck here the rest of my life"

twss

blue said...

jive turkey makes me laugh

El Padrino said...

"cmblue offered to help me with my interviewing skillz...it made me laugh"

embarrassin'

blue said...

what is a scatalogical term?

blue said...

i've only had 3 interviews and was offered a job from one of them...so 1 for 3 isn't bad...

.333 avg would get me to the allstar game

Steve said...

"MJ in his prime couldn't hang with Bron Bron."


100% agree. Now in a game of 1 on 1, i think it could go either way. MJ in his prime was to quick for LBJ, but MJ wouldn't have had a prayer in stopping LBJ either.

In arguments like this I like to ask myself if I could clone 1 man 4 times and make a team who would it be.

A team of LBJs would stomp a team MJs.

blue said...

steve is ridiculous.

blue said...

steve just doesn't like Jordan because Jordan was a tarheel

Keith S said...

"and unless he leaves 15 minutes earlier young jordan ain't walking through that door."

This was hilarity.

Steve said...

na, i'm an MJ fan.

Him being a traheel doesn't change the fact that LBJ is a much much much better basketball player.

Now, with MJ you have to take into account that he'd be willing to eat your heart for a win, but I don't think that would be enough to give him an edge over LBJ.

Jugdish said...

Steve...you are on drugs.

Keith S said...

"bad things in Semi-Pro per some guideline thing:"

That's why it's rated R instead of PG-13. He does say cocksucker a lot. And the jive turkey scene is the funniest part of the movie.

Steve said...

and when i say a better baskeball player, i don't mean a better scorer, i mean a better basketball player.

Keith S said...

Shamsteve

tem said...

does bron play defense yet?

Beth said...

"what is a scatalogical term?"

I think it's anything related to pee or poop. (i.e. "piss", "shit", etc.)

tem said...

beth wants a team of 5 Magic Johnsons.

Jugdish said...

Exactly...when he does, then the conversation becomes relevant.

Keith S said...

"and when i say a better baskeball player, i don't mean a better scorer, i mean a better basketball player."

Yeah, MJ was only a scorer.


s

tem said...

i thought it was funny that "chick" is an insult.

blue said...

"does bron play defense yet?"

nope, but he dunks nice

tem said...

according to whatever guidelines those were.

tem said...

100

blue said...

Kobe is better than lebron...so you're saying that kobe is better than jordan too? wow.

Keith S said...

No more October wedding. Jan/Feb next year.

blue said...

superbowl weekend

Steve said...

"Steve...you are on drugs."

na, ya'll are just so used to having MJ shoved down your throat that you don't ever think about anybody else.

LBJ: Taller, almost as quick, better passer, better ballhander, stronger, better shooter (than prime MJ, later on his carreer he bacame a better shooter because he had too). MJ was a better defender as long as he guarding the 1 or 2 spot, LBJ can guard any position save the 5, and his defense has gotten much better the last few years.

If you really stop and think about, you have to go with LBJ.

Steve said...

and for that matter, give me 5 MJs, or 5 mambas, i'd have to really think about that one too.

blue said...

now you're just talking crazy

Keith S said...

"superbowl weekend"

Probably the weekend after.

Jugdish said...

Its got to be the tarheel thing...it has to.

Jugdish said...

Its got to be the tarheel thing...it has to.

Steve said...

"now you're just talking crazy"

"Steve...you are on drugs."


this is just my point, ya'll are just supporting MJ cause your used to supporting MJ. Nobody has given me a real reason why they would pick MJ over LBJ to be on there team. Other than i'm crazy or on drugs.

ToddPacker said...

steve is correct

Jugdish said...

And the whole eat your heart out to win thing...it does have an effect. That is what helped get him 6 titles. Bron may never have that.

blue said...

don't make me go to the stats, i hate being like weazy with the stats

Jugdish said...

Well...I'm a Bulls fan, so Obviously I'm biased. Ler Bron achieve something before you say he is better.

Jugdish said...

let

Keith S said...

"LBJ: Taller, almost as quick, better passer, better ballhander, stronger, better shooter (than prime MJ, later on his carreer he bacame a better shooter because he had too). MJ was a better defender as long as he guarding the 1 or 2 spot, LBJ can guard any position save the 5, and his defense has gotten much better the last few years."

Not a better passer or ballhandler. And he's not a better shooter than MJ. He's shooting 49% because he gets to the rim so much because defenders aren't allowed to touch him. He's shooting 30% from 3 point range, so that should tell you something about his outside range.

Steve said...

"That is what helped get him 6 titles. Bron may never have that."

let's not forget who bron has around and who MJ did. MJ couldn't hot have carried these Cavs to a finals game.

Remove Pippen (and don't replace him with something equivalent) and MJ has 1 maybe two titles.

Jugdish said...

That's still 1, maybe two titles more than LeBron.

Jugdish said...

And the whole "you're used to having Jordan shoved down your throat" arguement is BS. Jordan wasn't receives just as much hype now and while he was playing as LeBron did before he ever took the court.

Keith S said...

LeBron has a better center than MJ ever had.

Jugdish said...

I can't freaking type today, but you know what I mean.

Jugdish said...

TPS and LOV at the same time causes me some confusion apparently.

Keith S said...

And you saw how good Pippen was once he left Chicago.

blue said...

ok

Jordan's rookie season vs Lebron's rookie season

Jordan 28.2 pts 6.5 reb 5.9 ast 2.39 steals, 51.5% FG, 84.5% FT.

Bron 20.9 pts, 5.5 reb 5.9 ast 1.6 steals, 41.7% FG, 75.4% FT

Steve said...

"That's still 1, maybe two titles more than LeBron."

what is bron now, like 22? give him time.

Steve said...

i am 100% convinced that in 10-15 years somebody is gonna say that MJ was a better ball player than LBJ and ya'll are gonna call him crazy and accuse him of being on drugs.

Keith S said...

MJ's first title team had Grant, Cartwright, Armstrong, Paxson, Perdue, Stacey King, Craig Hodges, Cliff Levingston, Dennis Hopson, and Scott Williams. How is that better than what LeBron has?

Steve said...

"Jordan's rookie season vs Lebron's rookie season"


LBJ was 18 his rookie season, MJ was 20-21.

Keith S said...

And that was against way better competition than LeBron is facing.

Jugdish said...

Pippen also carried the Bulls to the Eastern Conference finals after Jordan left. His trade to the Rockets was bad for him as he didn't fit well in their offense.

Keith S said...

"what is bron now, like 22? give him time."

That's not the argument. He may end up being better than MJ. But right now he's not.

blue said...

fast forward to their 3rd seasons because Jordan only played 18 games and broke his leg in year 2.

3rd season

Jordan 37.1 pt/game, 5.2 reb, 4.6 ast, 2.88 steals, 48.2% Fg, 85.7% FT

Bron- 31.4 pts, 7 reb, 6 ast, 1.6 steals, 48% FG, 73.8% FT

ToddPacker said...

jordan cheated

ToddPacker said...

jordan was on hgh

Jugdish said...

i am 100% convinced that in 10-15 years somebody is gonna say that MJ was a better ball player than LBJ and ya'll are gonna call him crazy and accuse him of being on drugs.



I am 100% sure that will not be me. LeBron will have to have a freaking spectacular career for that to happen. So far he has been really good, but shit, he was called King James before he ever took the court. Do something.

ToddPacker said...

jordan was a cry-baby

El Padrino said...

so no one thinks mamba is better then LBJ?

blue said...

37 pts a game is insane

Keith S said...

Steve is only arguing with the people who aren't throwing stats out there.

blue said...

"so no one thinks mamba is better then LBJ?"

I already stated that earlier...Kobe is better than Lebron right now

Jugdish said...

I think Kobe is better than LBJ too.

ToddPacker said...

jordan was a really good baseball player

ToddPacker said...

jordan is a not so good gambler

Jugdish said...

37 pts a game is insane


especially for when he played.

Keith S said...

TP's GOAT nominee is George Mikan.

El Padrino said...

Kobe vs MJ would be my ultimate matchup

LBJ vs Magic would be a better comaparaion to me

ToddPacker said...

space jam was a great movie

Jugdish said...

for steve...LBJ is more NOW.

Jugdish said...

TP refuses to wear Hanes or drink gatorade.

blue said...

4th season comparison, and we'll stop here because bron isn't done with his 5th season yet.

Jordan 35 pts, 5.5 reb, 5.9 ast, 3.16 steals, 53.5% FG, 84.1% FT

Bron 27.3 pts, 6.8 reb, 6.0 ast, 1.6 steals, 47.6% FG, 69.8% FT

ToddPacker said...

"TP's GOAT nominee is George Mikan"

anyone besides crybaby jordan

Jugdish said...

I just got an email from somone that started with "Also, there are a few more items...", but she had not emailed me before that.

I think she is heavily medicated.

Jugdish said...

like steve

ToddPacker said...

"TP refuses to wear Hanes or drink gatorade."

not true on the gatorade

blue said...

jordan's FG% was insane for a guard...bron's is about average

Beth said...

I'm probably the only one thinking this, but TMNBAT.

Steve said...

again and i'll stip now cause i'm sure it's getting anoying.


better basketball player, not a better scorer.

ToddPacker said...

"I'm probably the only one thinking this, but TMNBAT."

TMMJT

Steve said...

MJ/Pistol Pete


nobody could put in the hole like these to guys.


TWSS.

blue said...

last post about Jordan vs MJ...Besides the stats, Jordan had better intangibles...he was a better team leader, he made everyone around him a better player, he was mr. clutch, he was not afraid of the big moment, he took over games consistently, and as he'd rip your heart out and show it to you.

Lebron doesn't have any of those characteristics.

Keith S said...

I'm in the last playoff spot in the FNBA league and my last 3 matchups are against Poon Express, Tim Donaghy All Stars, & the Grim. This won't end well.

Steve said...

We'll have to agree to disagree.

Change Of Subject

quasi NSFW

blue said...

do you think a team will take a stab at signing culpepper just so they could get Randy Moss?

El Padrino said...

that's nice work there steve

Keith S said...

ep's "Deal" comment made me laugh

Spaceman Spiff said...

kobe to mavs: "fuck yo couch"

Spaceman Spiff said...

chris mortensen just said that the brown's free agency moves have put them in the same league as the patriots, colts, and chargers

WTF

ill beleeee dat when i see it

blue said...

"chris mortensen just said that the brown's free agency moves have put them in the same league as the patriots, colts, and chargers"

I think he meant, the AFC

El Padrino said...

Mort's a turd

Keith S said...

Which is weird because they were already in that league

tem said...

HUNGRY

Steve said...

oh, and speaking of championships and victories.

closed the deal with the nurse this weekend.

thank god, now I can stop returning her phone calls.

[s]...[ns], [s]....i'm not really sure

Spaceman Spiff said...

got damn, ben roethlisberger 8 years, 102 mil$$$$

El Padrino said...

atta boy steve

Spaceman Spiff said...

ns on LOV
s in real life

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"In arguments like this I like to ask myself if I could clone 1 man 4 times and make a team who would it be.

A team of LBJs would stomp a team MJs."

YES!

blue said...

fucking daylight savings time starts this weekend.

screw that, I hate DST

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I fucked up. It should be:

I'm buzzin', dirty dozen NAUGHTY rotten rhymer

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

ketchup?

blue said...

Meet *Wall(Y) Sparks

Jugdish said...

Was the Felix Pie injury ever mentioned here? Twisted testicle?

iamresurrected said...

all hail black jesus!

Steve said...

i wonder what a sober Meiz post would be like.

blue said...

iam lives

Steve said...

praise thee

El Padrino said...

iam you sick bastard

El Padrino said...

literally

iamresurrected said...

these diamonds on my crown of thorny bling are diggin into my scalp

Jugdish said...

twisted testicle...If I'm Pie I'm asking the trainer to tell the media something else.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"i wonder what a sober Meiz post would be like."

It would have complete sentences and continuity. I come up with good ideas, and forget them all by the time I "write" the post.

El Padrino said...

does black jesus have teardrop tattoos?

iamresurrected said...

got jury duty tmrw. gonna play up the "i just got outta the hospital and dont know if i can make it a whole day" and hopefully get outta that shit.

El Padrino said...

a sprained nut?

El Padrino said...

"got jury duty tmrw. gonna play up the "i just got outta the hospital and dont know if i can make it a whole day" and hopefully get outta that shit."

they have no mercy, you'll be there

iamresurrected said...

does black jesus have teardrop tattoos?"

thats fo sho. he got em in honor of himself too..

Jugdish said...

Not a sprained nut...a twisted testicle.

Jugdish said...

That even hurts to type.

Tyler said...

10am FBB Draft?

El Padrino said...

black jesus cries for black jesus

hilarity

El Padrino said...

older?

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