Wednesday, March 19, 2008

I shall grant you greater riches than you could ever imagine

So follow along closely, you ungrateful bastardos. It's 100% March Madneww all up in this mofo today...

You've been pouring over your bracket, dutifully studying your RPI rankings and the ASE rankings and the QRR stats. Hell, you even have a binder made up with teams listed alphabetical by conference and then a second one to take into the shitter, sorted by color. Way to go. But fuck that shit. Hit "Print" on this page and you'll be all set. Well, don't just hit print.. you might wanna do a "selection" first, cause otherwise you'll end up with stuff like one of Freak's posts and then you'll just waste paper. But bottom line is.. print this as a guide and not as a wiper. Then bet your entire life savings on these games and your bank account will thank me. Also your new leopard print couch, oversized disco ball and stripper pole in your bedroom will thank me. Your satisfaction is all I need. We will work as one to achieve greatness. Or something. Sip morning beverage, read along.

Greensboro bracket, i dont know what region that is. We'll call it the Upper Left Corner bracket. here we go:

UCONN over Cornell, TX over Minny, Old Dominatrix over Liberty, VA over UC Santa Barbara, Auburn over George Wash, Whale's Vageen over Cal, Gtech over Iowa St and Rutgers Race Card over Robert Morris.

Then.. UConn over TX, OD over VA, Auburn over Vageen, Race Card over Gtech.

Followed by UConn over OD, Race over Auburn. Then UConn trumps Race Card to get all up in the first Final Four spot.

Spokane, aka the Bottom Left Region:

Maryland over Coppin State, Xavier McDaniel over Nebraska, N.Mex over WVU, Vandy over Montana, Wyoming over Pitt, Baylor over Fresno St, W Kentucky over UTEP, Stanford over Cleve. St.

Which leads us to Maryland over McDaniel, N.Mex over Vandy, Wyom over Baylor, Stanford over W.Kent.

Mary over Vandy, Standford over Wyom. Stanford back door cuts its way into the Final Whore.

The Upper Right Corner in the Big Sleazy, New Ohhhhhh-leens.

UNC over Bucknell, GA over IA, Chattanooga over Kansas St, Louisville over Miami (OH), FSU over tOSU, OK ST. over E. Tenn St, Depaul over Marist, LSU over Jesse Jackson State.

UNC over GA, Louisville over Chatty, OK ST over FSU, LSU over Depaul.

Louisville over UNC, LSU over OK ST.

Louisville over LSU, so Louie Louie to the Tournament of Roses.

Last and very much least, the Bottom Right Thing that's down in Oklahoma City.

Tenn over Oral Roberts, Utah over Purdue, in the battle for domination of our souls Note-er Dame over S. Methodist, Ill. St over Oklahoma (way to dick it up in your own house), Temple over ASU, Duke over Murray St, 'Cuse over Hartford, Texas A&M over Tx-San Antonio.

Tenn over Utah, N. Dame over Ill. St, Temple over Duke, A&M over Cuse.

Tenn over Ill. St, Temple over A&M.

Temple over Tenn. Temple all up in that bitch.


So to recap, because I know none of you care to use the brainpower to remember what was written (don't blame ya).. that is UCONN vs Stanford and Louisville vs Temple for the Foe'.

UCONN will beat Louisville for the champyeeunship. I just came in my pants. No, really.

Go forth and make some large dolla billz with this guide.

Yer Welcome.

554 comments:

1 – 200 of 554   Newer›   Newest»
Steve said...

HaHaHaHa Joe Francis offered the hooker 1 million dollars to be a GGW. Then he figured out that she had already done videos for him back in the day! link

That's pretty funny.

"It'll save me a million bucks," Francis told The Associated Press on Tuesday. "It's kind of like finding a winning lottery ticket in the cushions of your couch."

tem said...

i saw that storee hooker should have taken the money pronto.

tem said...

iam good post.

i changed my picks accordingly.

tem said...

i will say it was difficult to get it to match, but i figured it out.

when i win the $100,000,000 from the LOV bracket or wherever I will split it with you.

tem said...

dilbert is funny.

tem said...

i think from 1990-1995 jim davis received about 1,000,000 fan suggestions for garfield cartoons.

then in 1996 he just said "fuck it" and had an intern just draw each of the fan suggestions.

that's what they have been running as garfield comics for the last 12 years.

tem said...

mortgage rates are down again, but all the banks are failing....national city you fuckers.

i need the chase guy to call me back. too bad he is a total douchebag.

Steve said...

"i saw that store hooker should have taken the money pronto."


yea, the more i think about though. he had to have already known (when her name came out). Those girls sign release forms, they are technically employees.

He put the 1 million dollar offer to get the GGW name out, then he made public that he already had the videos. He's gonna make millions off her.

The man is a genius.

tem said...

"The man is a genius."

truer words......

Steve said...

"cause otherwise you'll end up with stuff like one of Freak's posts and then you'll just waste paper."


i'm not sure if this was a dig or not, but it made me laugh.

tem said...

"She signed legal papers and spent a full week on the bus, filming seven full-length tapes that included nudity and same-sex encounters, according to the company."

tem said...

indeed that line was a laugher.

Beth said...

Hmmmm, now I'm starting to wonder if I should've signed that release for GGW years ago...

blue said...

"Hmmmm, now I'm starting to wonder if I should've signed that release for GGW years ago..."

it probably cost you a million bucks

blue said...

and joe francis is a douchebag...a good entrepeneur, but a douchebag

tem said...

they don't let you on the bus without signing the release right?

so if you wanted on that bus you had 0 choice.

tem said...

my chase lender guy is a douchebag.

tem said...

way to show up nuggets.

blue said...

and you're right, it was a total publicity stunt for his new "magazine" that he's coming out with. He knew he had the goods on that chick already

tem said...

way to show up rockets.

blue said...

"they don't let you on the bus without signing the release right?"

there's all kinds of legality issues with that. Typically the girls are so drunk that I don't think legally they could consent to the contract. I'm surprised somebody hasn't challenged them on this before...

blue said...

"way to show up nuggets"

it was an awful game, but at least the warriors and mavs both lost too

Steve said...

"and joe francis is a douchebag"


how is the man that brings titties and young hot girl on girl action to the masses a douchebag?

he's one of the few great American heroes, i put him right up there with Franklin, Roosevelt, Jefferson, Lincoln, Krzyzewski

tem said...

"Krzyzewski"

sounds russian not american.

or polish.

blue said...

i'm hoping that florida beats tOSU in the NIT final

Beth said...

"Typically the girls are so drunk that I don't think legally they could consent to the contract. I'm surprised somebody hasn't challenged them on this before..."

Thanks blue, now I have my defense!

tem said...

maybe beth has insight as to the state of drunkedness girls are in when they get on the bus.

Steve said...

""Krzyzewski"

sounds russian not american.

or polish."

tem said...

if UF meets OSU in the final you can just mark UF down in pen.

it is the SEC for goodness sake.

El Padrino said...

iam, sweet post

blue said...

"how is the man that brings titties and young hot girl on girl action to the masses a douchebag?"

umm, maybe becuase he's been accused of raping some of those girls on more than one occasion. I'd be fine with him if all he did was make videos of drunk chicks doing stupid things/

Steve said...

"maybe becuase he's been accused of raping"

i've never heard this, linkage?

tem said...

blhitler does not condone rape??

Steve said...

Joe Francis from wiki:

"Hoffman also notes that she is not the "only woman who's made Francis mad," and lists a number of other court actions raised against Francis by women, ranging from an accusation of harassment to accusations of rape. None of these accusations, however, led to charges being pressed."

blue said...

douche

even the bible acknowledges it

blue said...

"On March 12, 2008 Francis was convicted on child abuse and prostitution charges "

blue said...

JF talk is CoL

tem said...

so he is a genius douchebag.

not the first. not the last.

tem said...

chase mortgage guy is a retarded douchebag.

tem said...

he hates me because i am better than him at everything. including arts and crafts.

blue said...

yeah, i'm not saying he's not a genius...just that he's a douche...he's no hugh hefner

tem said...

beth is gathering a team of law dogs to take down JF and get her tape(s) back.

blue said...

"he hates me because i am better than him at everything. including arts and crafts."

of course

tem said...

has hugh hefner ever been accused of any of that?

if not, major props. all those playmates he nailed and not one tried to say she was coerced?

clap.......clap........clap....clap....clap...clap...clap...clap..clap..clap..clap.clap.clap.clapclapclapclapclapclap

not the disease the ovation.

Beth said...

"maybe beth has insight as to the state of drunkedness girls are in when they get on the bus"

You're assuming I remember my time on the bus. I only found out about it when I saw my drunken self on the commercials. You have no idea how embarrassing that is when you're watching tv with your mother.

tem said...

"better than him at everything. including arts and crafts."

this is a bastardized Family Guy joke.

tem said...

"You have no idea how embarrassing that is when you're watching tv with your mother."

what show were you watching with your mom that a commercial for GGW came on??

El Padrino said...

beth forgot the S

El Padrino said...

beth if you need a lap to cry on, i'm here

El Padrino said...

tem, arts and crafts?
like ice pop stick houses?

tem said...

"like ice pop stick houses?"

yeah and toothpick scultpures.

Beth said...

"beth if you need a lap to cry on, i'm here"

Thanks EP, I knew I could count on you, such selflessness...

blue said...

"has hugh hefner ever been accused of any of that?"

i don't think so...hef is legit

tem said...

hef is a hero.

tem said...

***wall

blue said...

no wal

blue said...

i'm thinking about cutting Deron Williams in FNBA, he hasn't been cutting it lately

El Padrino said...

i took off tw

hahahahahahaahhaaaaa

4 day weekend bitches

tem said...

do it.

the poon express needs a PG.

although i am sure i would not get the waiver pick.

tem said...

"4 day weekend bitches"

3 more than i get.

blue said...

i think i'm taking tomorrow off too, at least part of the day, i'm trying to get on an earlier flight

tem said...

and on sunday i am going home to wv to do everyone's taxes. (yep, the whole state. easier than you'd think since we are all related. it is just 1 big return)

so really it is a 0 day weekend.

tem said...

where is blue flying to?

is he taking cmblue and baby blue?

babies on planes are bad news.

blue said...

everyone seems to be picking one of the upsets that I have picked in NCAA, so i'm switching it. If i've learnt anything, it's that the masses are usually wrong

blue said...

everyone is picking Pitt too, I will now make them lose to Oral

blue said...

GOLF PICKS

El Padrino said...

Oral dominates.

El Padrino said...

GOLF PICKS

I stopped doing this awhile ago.

blue said...

"Oral dominates"

truer words....

El Padrino said...

too much to do today for you tps
got to prepare for my draft, got to fill out the bracket, water my cactus, eat the free bagels and make a lov fmlb trade

back off!

blue said...

and make your golf picks

blue said...

its tough to be a child star/genius

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I'm ill today. gonna try to leave at noon.

tem said...

work half days are nice.

blue said...

illness is not nice though

blue said...

meiz be illin

tem said...

isn't meiz ill every day?

blue said...

maybe those abdominal pains are more serious than we thought

ToddPacker said...

tps is making me ill

(ns)

ToddPacker said...

nice bracket breakdown, iam

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I don't get to leave. Fuck. Sick as a dog. I think I might go throw up.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"maybe those abdominal pains are more serious than we thought"

I really think they are. I can't convince anybody otherwise.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

My boss thinks its one big joke. He'll be proven wrong when I die soon.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I thought about going to Bob Shapiro's website and making out a will for $69 yesterday.

tem said...

$69 is a lot to make out a will.

just write it down on a piece of paper.

blue said...

yeah, that'll show him

El Padrino said...

Can I have your sweet Turnbow bobble head?

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"Can I have your sweet Turnbow bobble head?"

Yes. I have 5.

blue said...

Keith gets the Darth Vader bobblehead

El Padrino said...

KJ running for mayor in sacratamatoe but has got some issues on land he owns

they found butcherd animal remains and raw sewage

Spaceman Spiff said...

Audrina from The Hills NAKED

awesome

NSFW

tem said...

ep, abby cohen, did you know her?

El Padrino said...

of course, Goldman Sachs
i heard that story yesterday
she is a legend in the financial world

blue said...

KJ is a favorite son in sacramento, he'll still probably win

blue said...

those are awesome pics spiff

Mills said...

what up biz-natches

blue said...

pure awesome

JFreak said...

Did anyone else notice that IAM did predictions for the women's bracket?

or did I bring up something that was already common knowledge?

JFreak said...

and

JFreak said...

madness

Spaceman Spiff said...

freak, that was the point

tem said...

"of course, Goldman Sachs
i heard that story yesterday
she is a legend in the financial world"

i meant did you know her. not did you know of her.

El Padrino said...

tits

very nice stephen

El Padrino said...

*spiff

Spaceman Spiff said...

everyone remember to click on the link when they get home

tem said...

"Did anyone else notice that IAM did predictions for the women's bracket?"

of course? is there even a men's bracket??

El Padrino said...

no i did not know her, if i did i would try to bang her and steal her money

JFreak said...

"freak, that was the point"

okay, making sure i wasn't going crazy.

El Padrino said...

duh, that was the joke

blue said...

"Did anyone else notice that IAM did predictions for the women's bracket?"

no, really?

tem said...

you are a GS guy right?

not that means you had to know her. just getting clarifacation.

tem said...

NM over WVU pick stung a little.

tem said...

HUNGRY

blue said...

lady lobos are better than the lady 'neers

El Padrino said...

No, I do not work for Goldman.

Mills said...

Anyone got Drake over UConn in the 2nd round?

Spaceman Spiff said...

do you work for goldman bagz?




see what i did there

Spaceman Spiff said...

i do not have many upsets this year, all chalk

Mills said...

RE: Brackets (mens... sad I had to preface that, but given the current talk...)

I like Tenn., KU, and NC.

Sucks that only one of them can get to the NC game...

Mills said...

i didn't have many upsets either actually.

kind of sad cuz you know they will be there. just hard to see this year.

Mills said...

Do you guys know why they say Rock Chalk?

I had to look it up and I live in the state.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Naked Audrina is fucking awesome. That bitch is way hot. Spiff made me feel less sick.

Mills said...

yeah -- she probably cost herself lots of money too by doing that before she became famous...

JFreak said...

The Bobcats have 6 players that have won NCAA Championships.

Name them all and win!

Mills said...

Did you guys see the Red Sox are going to boycott the Japanese opening day series if their Coaches and Staff don't receive the same 40k stipend that players are getting...

Spaceman Spiff said...

who gives a fuck if she cost herself money, just bask in the tits

Spaceman Spiff said...

okafor, richardson, may, felton, anderson?

Mills said...

i was just relating it to Spitzer's lady...

Spaceman Spiff said...

may is one of those lucky guys who gets paid and gets hurt every year, he'll be on the knicks in no time

JFreak said...

spiff is on fire.

still one more, however.

Spaceman Spiff said...

nazr? was he on the same team as anderson when kentucky won

JFreak said...

Boston is refusing to play their game today.

Yay 3 hours of nothing on national tv.

JFreak said...

and spiff wins!!!

a room full of naked women just for you!!!

you just have to sneak into the playboy house yourself.

El Padrino said...

i wish H was in our fmlb league, i dont like beckett

JFreak said...

A present for meiz.

Keith S said...

There's a flaw in iam's bracket. He has Illinois State losing twice.

Keith S said...

Kansas won't get past the Sweet 16. Bill Self is an awful coach.

Keith S said...

Not sure how I feel about this

blue said...

he seems overhyped

blue said...

what do you want for beckett EP?

see REoFMLB to choose

Keith S said...

mize
Were any of those songs the right one?

blue said...

sent you sumthin EP

El Padrino said...

allow me to retort blue

Keith S said...

Red Sox are just being holier then now at this point.

blue said...

just testing the waters

blue said...

they are the red sawks they can do whatever they want

El Padrino said...

Pryor is a buckeye keef

Keith S said...

Really?

blue said...

shocking

El Padrino said...

"Top-ranked QB Pryor commits to Ohio State"

Keith S said...

ep
Ctrl+F "Not sure how I feel about this"

El Padrino said...

btw dsteve obama called that pastor his mentor yesterday

El Padrino said...

nice you linked it, i never clicked out

tem said...

"There's a flaw in iam's bracket. He has Illinois State losing twice."

they get double elimination.

tem said...

pryor cost me a quarter.

thought for sure he would pick michigan.

now he is going to be on the bench for at least 1 year. maybe 3 if henton doesn't suck.

tem said...

michigan just went from a possible ceiling of 7-5 to a ceiling of 4-8.

they have no QB.

El Padrino said...

that's rich rod hate talking tem

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"mize
Were any of those songs the right one?"

i still hafta check

Spaceman Spiff said...

why did pryor choose OSU? tired of running?

Spaceman Spiff said...

im a taco fiend

blue said...

pryor chose OSU because he's tired of winning championships

El Padrino said...

tem i offered you something

blue said...

i think that was his exact quote

El Padrino said...

mize you never gave me props for finishing your title from monday's post

Spaceman Spiff said...

making trades before the season starts causes anxiety

blue said...

autodraft guys always want to make trades once they see their team...

tem said...

"tem i offered you something"

i see.

very tempting. pondering.

El Padrino said...

yeah, blame auto draft
i'm trying to rid myself of guys i hate that i would never draft

Spaceman Spiff said...

can we officially get tmac out the MVP race now? he wasnt the reason they were on that streak, he didnt show up against the lakers on national tv while missing every free throw that the crowd cheered M-V-P on, and didnt show up againt the celtics on national tv at all.

tem said...

"that's rich rod hate talking tem"

how do you think they are going to do in year 1 of the RR era?

no QB to run his system. no RB to run his system.

brand new system.

tem said...

"why did pryor choose OSU? "

he said Rich Fraud is a douche.

Spaceman Spiff said...

i still want to know why you had tulo ranked over papi, or was that yahoo

tem said...

"why did pryor choose OSU? "

also columbus is an "easy 3hr drive for his parents"

yes that is a quote from him.

Spaceman Spiff said...

rich wod should suck for one year, no surprise there, you should get on his case if he sucks year 2 EP

El Padrino said...

bbuy to give gift cards for HD DVD

Spaceman Spiff said...

am i mistaken or do all of the american idol people really suck now

tem said...

year 1 is going to be horrid.

year 2 will be much better (still no QB though unless he gets a pryor type suppossed stud)

year 3 or 4 should be big 10 title.

Spaceman Spiff said...

hd-dvd players are so cheap now, might get one as long as it upconverts regular dvds to 1080, can watch regular dvds and any hd-dvds out there for the same price as a regular upconverting player.

El Padrino said...

"i still want to know why you had tulo ranked over papi, or was that yahoo"

wanted him to be my SS if i didnt get reyes or hanley
figured he'd be there in the 3rd round

i also had these guys above papi
Sizemore, Suzuki, Beltran and that's it, Tulo was right before Papi

RIGHT FUCKING BEFORE

tem said...

maybe someone will trade you papi for tulo.

blue said...

EP ♥s tulo

El Padrino said...

nice tem

El Padrino said...

i am a little high on him
i mean like i said, 30 hr's 100 ribs and .300 avg for a guy that playes every day is good

no?

blue said...

iverson goes back to philly for the first time tonight

blue said...

tulowitzki will hit in the 2 hole this year where he was a lot more effective last year. He gets to see a lot more pitches with Matt Holliday hitting behind him as opposed to Yorvit Torrealba

tem said...

"He gets to see a lot more pitches with Matt Holliday hitting behind him as opposed to Yorvit Torrealba"

did Torrealba blindfold him so he couldn't see them?

tem said...

or shine a light in his eye?

tem said...

or stand in front of him?

blue said...

toreallba distracted him by speaking spanish whilst on deck

blue said...

and he was always saying "c'mon mayne get a heet"

blue said...

and sometimes he would flex

blue said...

torrealba was like the Joakim Noah of the rockies with all the flexing

tem said...

"torrealba was like the Joakim Noah of the rockies with all the flexing"

i shamed that i had to pick him up in FNBA.

blue said...

"i shamed that i had to pick him up in FNBA"

would you rather have Chris Bosh? because i could drop him

blue said...

but bosh has been injured

tem said...

some lady just axed my boss about his umbrella:

"does yours stay up?"


twss

blue said...

he should have said "only with viagra"

tem said...

"would you rather have Chris Bosh? because i could drop him"

"but bosh has been injured"

probably.

tem said...

"he should have said "only with viagra""

his actual answer was:

"depends on who's asking"

tem said...

ns

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