Thursday, February 14, 2008

Alcohol

So, on the day of the 21st anniversary of my birth I had drinks.



Lots of alcohol was given to me. As seen by the above picture.

I am, what you would say, inebriated.

Let's review what was inbibed.

First drink ever (at a bar, by the way) was a Jager Bomb. I've heard stories and stories about it, but it just tasted like red bull. Was good.

I downed that real quick, so I ordered a Guiness. Real, real bitter. Did not like it at all. Maybe it's just my first taste of it, but I'm not likely to order it again.

Came home from the bar and made myself a double jager bomb. Delicious.

Went to a screwdriver next because I was told it tasted like something I used to make (mountain dew and orange juice). And it really does. Vodka + OJ = good.

Here's where I decided I should make one more drink, but I couldn't decide what it should be. So I used the internet to decide what I should make with my ingredients. I settled on something called a .50 cal but with Vault instead of squirt. The after taste really burns. A lot. So I chased each drink with the leftover vault.

About halfway through the .50 cal I really started feeling it. Not totally falling over drunk, but everything is slowed down. Certainly an interesting experience. And when I move too quick, it's strange.

A review:

Jager Bombs, Screwdrivers: good

Guiness, .50 cal: not so good.


Uh, I'm sure there is sports news out there. But I don't have the effort to report on that.

Almost forgot to mention. I went to both a bar and a liquor store and was carded in neither place. I was quite disappointed. I can't even get a carding? What's up with that hoes?

862 comments:

1 – 200 of 862   Newer›   Newest»
JFreak said...

Every year since I was like 10, my mom has made me spaghetti carbonara for my birthday.


IT IS DELECTABLE.

I look forward to it every, every, every year.

Sooooooo good.

If you don't know, now you know.

Keith S said...

Guinness = Awful

JFreak said...

upon further review, i seem fairly drunk.

Keith S said...

Jager Bomb >>>> Kamikaze

JFreak said...

I still stand by my statement that Conan is better without writers.

JFreak said...

Ryan Reynolds is really funny.

JFreak said...

feel less drunk now.

more really sleepy.

can't tell whether that's because I'm actually tired or a combination of the two.

Jugdish said...

I am a big fan of the jagerbomb, or bull blaster as we call them.

I had Guiness once and that was enough. It didn't even taste good after 6 beers...that's not a good sign.

Jugdish said...

Happy Birthday Freak!

Jugdish said...

2 emails in the inbox...good times.

Jugdish said...

Freak...is that your first time being drunk?

Return of the H said...

Freak, happy birthday bro. I remember when I turned 21 I didn't get carded anywhere either. It was so disappointing!

Beth said...

Damn you guys are wimps, Guiness is fantastic.

Jugdish said...

*gag

besides...it doesn't make us wimpy if we don't like the taste.

Beth said...

And since no one else has mentioned it yet, Happy Valentines Day everyone (except to EP who refuses to recognize it).

As I read someplace earlier, "Nothing says I Love You like a box of saturated fats and slutty lingerie".

Return of the H said...

i don't like guiness cuz it tastes like coffee to me. and i hate coffee

Jugdish said...

EP's valentine's day stance is a little silly to me. He still takes his wife out and does something nice for her at this time of year, but he just refuses to buy a 3.99 card because its a "Hallmark holiday"?

Way to stick it to the man EP.

Jugdish said...

Happy Valentine's Day to you too Beth.

Jugdish said...

EP...how do you feel about Mother's Day?

Return of the H said...

Happy single awareness day

Steve said...

Guiness = puke

I'll never understand it. I think it's one of those beers that's become cool to drink. Ya know, like if you REALLY like beer, then you have to drink Guiness.

bla

Beth said...

Steve is an anti-beer snob I see. :-)

Jugdish said...

Does anyone wonder if the following conversation ever took place:

Rusty: Roger, tell me, did you do it?
Roger: Let me make it clear! I never us...
Rusty: Rocket...its me, Rusty. Forget everything I told you to say in the news conferences. Its me Roger...did you do it?
Roger: *siggggghhhhh* yeah...

Steve said...

Happy bday.

I don't think i got carded on my 21st bday either. I too was disappointed. Then in my mid 20's getting carded offended me. Now, at 30, when i don't get carded...I'm disappointed again.

ahhhh, the circle of life.

Beth said...

Guinness is an acquired taste for sure, but then again all beer is.

Steve said...

"Steve is an anti-beer snob I see. :-)"


hahah, it's not that. I just don't think beer should have to be drank with a spoon.

Jugdish said...

and when Roger says "yeah...", he says it just like George did when Jerry asked him if he has any moisturizer in his medicine cabinet

Steve said...

oh and speaking of snobby behavior.


If you REALLY like basketball, then you have to enjoy watching duke play this year, even if you're a hater. They spread the floor sooooo well, and take advantage of their oponents weakness better than any team I've seen in a long long time.

As soon as they meat a team with a great inside/outside game they're finished, but it's a great show.

Steve said...

I almost wished Zeke was here (ALMOST) so I could throw it in his face how Sunsish they are.

Steve said...

new blogger look...


two thumbs up.

Beth said...

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that. Great job on the new LOV homepage Deke! Of course I'd have put UGA higher up on the team listing... :-)

Steve said...

I had more than my share of beers last night. Ordered a pizza.

I didn't realize it at the time, but the pizza must have been really hot. Cause i have blisters on my toungue.

I know ya'll don't care, but fuck it, i'm sharing anyways.

Beth said...

One logo I didn't recognize though, the "DN" with the mountains (underneath Notre Dame). What's that team?

Beth said...

You know what's good for preventing pizza burns Steve? Ice cold Guinness. :-)

Jugdish said...

Its also good for preventing enjoyment of your beer.

Beth said...

I once dated a guy who used to order 1 bottle of Guinness and then pour it into a pitcher of "regular" beer to add some taste to it but at not such a strong level.

Steve said...

"I once dated a guy who used to order 1 bottle of Guinness and then pour it into a pitcher of "regular" beer to add some taste to it but at not such a strong level."

gee, I wonder why that relationship didn't work out.

Beth said...

Hey, that's my fiance you're talking about!

s

Steve said...

so beth, are you getting flowers at the office? or is he gonna cheap out on this "holliday" too?

El Padrino said...

mothers day is ok, they birf live humans

i have no leg to stand on
but i still dont buy cards
i give flowers or my di*k in a box but no cards ever (cept for wife bday)

Steve said...

tongue blisters are preventing me from full enjoyment of my coffee.

and I thought today was gonna be a good day...

El Padrino said...

i drink guiness one day a year
with my corn beef sammich at the bar Jug frequented whilst he was here on St. Patty's day

El Padrino said...

"tongue blisters are preventing me from full enjoyment "

TWSS

El Padrino said...

just realized i'll have to do that lunch here in jersey city now

sadness

El Padrino said...

nice post freak, jagerbombs almost kilt me in vegas but once in awhile i do them because they are quite good

El Padrino said...

i love sticking it to the man

blue said...

"One logo I didn't recognize though, the "DN" with the mountains (underneath Notre Dame). What's that team?"

that's the nuggets logo...i know you don't watch basketball, so it's acceptable

El Padrino said...

"He still takes his wife out and does something nice for her at this time of year"

it's just dinner at one of our favorite restaurants, it's not planned, pre-fix menu type propoganda and it doesnt include flowers

fuck the man

blue said...

jager bomb...jager bomb...

the official drink that makes beth put out

blue said...

it was almost 60 here yesterday (no jacket weather), and today we're getting 6 inches of snow...FUCK YOU Al Gore

blue said...

*no jacket required

blue said...

guiness is ok, i remember the first time I had it, i got it out of the can so I could see the nitrogen widget or whatever the fuck in the bottom of the can

Steve said...

we should to change then name of the "Score Board" to "Dan Shanoff Simulator"

blue said...

Devean George...hahahahahaha

Beth said...

"so beth, are you getting flowers at the office? or is he gonna cheap out on this "holliday" too?"

He hasn't said but he'd BETTER get me flowers at the office. :-)

El Padrino said...

see, these stupid bitches are running around with red sweaters on and shit

asking me where's my red

dumb bitches

tem said...

DUmb ass forward I received today:

How to say 'I love you' in 25 languages.

English
I Love You

Spanish
Te Amo

French < B>
Je T'aime

German
lch Liebe Dich

Japanese
Ai Shite Imasu

Italian
Ti Amo

Chinese
Wo Ai Ni

Swedish
Jag Alskar

Alabama
Arkansas
Oklahoma
Texas
North Carolina
South Carolina
Georgia
Tennessee
Mississippi
Louisiana
Virginia
West Virginia
Kentucky
parts of Florida


Nice A$S, Get in the truck

tem said...

"Ryan Reynolds is really funny."

I am a big Ryan Reynolds fan.

Except that Waiting movie. It was gross.

Jugdish said...

Blarney stone...good times!

Jugdish said...

They had decent wings too.

blue said...

I like Ryan Reynolds as well...although his new movie may be gay

Steve said...

the last part was kinda funny

Steve said...

"asking me where's my red"

really? like St. Patty's day and green?


that's pretty weird.

Beth said...

"Nice A$S, Get in the truck"

I have to agree with Steve, that is kinda funny.

El Padrino said...

"Thanks to super-sized expectations and over-the-top commercialization, February 14 has gone from a sentimental aside to a pressure-filled gauntlet lined with chocolate boxes, tennis bracelets and cheesy stuffed bears"

amen

blue said...

i'm wearing all black today...like johnny cash

tem said...

New page is sweet. 5 out of 5 helmet stickers.

tem said...

Oops I forgot to wear red.

I had blood drawn today. That is my red bitches.

blue said...

no telmet stickers though?

tem said...

"i love sticking it to the man"

twks.

too easy.

blue said...

i spent half of yesterday studying for a stupid test, and then it turned out to be way too easy and i wasted all that time studying...pissed me off

El Padrino said...

Helloo,

I'm Johnny Cash...

tem said...

"Dan Shanoff Simulator"

hilarity.

blue said...

I thought about using JC's funeral line

blue said...

JC=johnny cash...not jesus

tem said...

but you learnt the material.

blue said...

tem has seen "walk the line" right?

he's a big fan of Reese, so i figure he's seen it

El Padrino said...

st patty's day is cool

there's no gift giving or cards (even though hallmark tries to sell them), it's just drinking and pretending to be irish

blue said...

bgblue has a "kiss me i'm irish" outfit for St. Patty's day...but she is half irish

blue said...

she does not have a valentine's day outfit

blue said...

beth is wearing red today

tem said...

"tem has seen "walk the line" right?

he's a big fan of Reese, so i figure he's seen it"

yeah, they actually filmed some stuff in wheeling for that movie.

where reese gets yelled at by some chick in a store for being divorced. that happened in wheeling.

then reese and johnny cash went fishing at a place in wheeling, but they didn't film that part in wheeling because that place they were at doesn't exist in wheeling, or nearby.

El Padrino said...

without a dobut she has red on
and they just might be in the form of panties, which is super

blue said...

i'm sure the lake was on a sound stage in Hollywood

tem said...

yeah fuck that lake.

Beth said...

"without a dobut she has red on
and they just might be in the form of panties, which is super"

Shit, this is not good if EP can accurately predict me. Cause as much as I hate to admit it, he's right.

NS

Steve said...

"Shit, this is not good if EP can accurately predict me. Cause as much as I hate to admit it, he's right."


Beth, I don't believe you. We are gonna need pictorial evidence.

blue said...

red granny panties don't count

Beth said...

Gee sorry Steve, I left my camera at home...

blue said...

i figure they're probably your standard white cotton, but what if they're lace, or what if it's a thong...what if it's something new that I don't even know about.

Beth said...

"red granny panties don't count"

Blue, not all of us just had babies not too long ago like cmBlue. :-)

Steve said...

"Gee sorry Steve, I left my camera at home..."

good god woman, buy a camera phone.

blue said...

cmblue actually lost all the baby weight in like 2 weeks, i was proud of her

Beth said...

"what if it's something new that I don't even know about"

Have you heard of boy shorts?

Beth said...

Wow, good for her blue, that's not supposed to be easy to do.

ns

ToddPacker said...

nice work on the front page, meiz

tem said...

beth wears some boy's shorts to work as underwear?

are they underroos?

do they have underdog on them? or better yet UnderMaj?

tem said...

my lips keep getting chapped.

wft.

blue said...

superman underoos have red in them right?

actually picturing beth in superman underoos is not as creepy as it seems

blue said...

"my lips keep getting chapped"

TWSS

El Padrino said...

i love panty talk

blue said...

jeezaloo

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I love Devean George blocking the trade. That's the kind of shit I'd pull.

ToddPacker said...

LSU/UF game was painful to watch last night

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"cmblue actually lost all the baby weight in like 2 weeks, i was proud of her"

Lucky bastard

El Padrino said...

"cmblue actually lost all the baby weight in like 2 weeks, i was proud of her"

interesting

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"Have you heard of boy shorts?"


Deke's favorite.

JFreak said...

"Freak...is that your first time being drunk?"

Yes.

blue said...

yes, she actually gained very little weight during the pregnancy in total, plus the kid was 3 weeks early.

now losing weight does not mean that she was toned and fit, still had that deflated balloon thing going on for another month or so

ToddPacker said...

"Freak...is that your first time being drunk?"

Yes."

wow, how ya feeling today?

blue said...

brazilian cut are blue's favorite

El Padrino said...

none are elpad's favorite

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

How 'bout them Badgers?!?!

El Padrino said...

freak popped his cherry

hooorrayy!

El Padrino said...

Butch with the BANKER!

tem said...

"I love Devean George blocking the trade."

sounds like he is just blocking it until his agent can look at it.

for some reason.

El Padrino said...

oh and that Warrior/Sun game was the most entertaining NBA game I watched this year by a landslide

if all games were played like that i'd watch NUBA more

Steve said...

"brazilian cut are blue's favorite"


Steve likes the kind that come off.

Steve said...

easily

Beth said...

Boy shorts for those who aren't familiar with them.

SFW

blue said...

he's blocking it because he wants el retardo to write a full column about it, not just some weak mag column

JFreak said...

"wow, how ya feeling today?"

surprisingly well.

Not even a hint of a headache.

Beth said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ToddPacker said...

"Not even a hint of a headache."

you didn't drink enough

blue said...

yeah, the post was coherent

Steve said...

"Not even a hint of a headache."

that means you didn't drink enough. you havn't officialy been drunk until you have both made a complete ass of yourself and feel like death the next morning.

El Padrino said...

"none are elpad's favorite"
"Steve likes the kind that come off."


here is the same page
here is me and steve on it

El Padrino said...

drink more today

Steve said...

your post should have belligerent, rambling, contradicting and hateful. Most important it probably should not have made any since the next morning, and you should have felt a little bit embarrassed about posting it.

blue said...

did you call any ladies at 1 am?

that's always a good gauge of your drunkeness

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

i think I'll have chinese for lunch today.

JFreak said...

Twin 150s are today.

I'm pumped.

tem said...

21st birthday i was out on the quad yelling up to efmtem and her roommates.

until they turned their lights off and i decided to drink some more.

JFreak said...

I was pretty buzzed.

But I stopped drinking around midnight.

Didn't go to sleep until like 3.

Took some headache medicine.

I wasn't looking to have a hangover.

Beth said...

Steve, that sounds like a good philosophy for late night drunken emails too.

JFreak said...

"drink more today"

Rum and Coke is in the queue

blue said...

"Twin 150s are today"

I don't know what this means

Jugdish said...

Cweam of sum yung guy

JFreak said...

Tem and aitch know what it means.

That's enough for me.

El Padrino said...

amplifiers?

JFreak said...

I'm also looking to have the big brown jug thing that's in my picture.

It's a quart of beer.

It intrigues me.

tem said...

i do know what it means.

i thought they were tomorrow.

i am excited to learn they are today.

tem said...

mark is in the 2nd one.

so i might be able to watch it when i get home. at least the end of it.

tem said...

tem knows nothing of music and the instruments/devices used to play it.

twin 150s is not a razor either.

it's the qualifying races for the Daytona 500.

tem said...

the only time NASCAR uses races to determine starting position.

JFreak said...

I might do a running diary.

With drinking.

Sounds like fun.

Keith S said...

TMNT

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I always watch Daytona

Jugdish said...

You are going to do a running diary of a NASCAR race?

You better be drinking.

tem said...

TMNT is not true.

TCNBENTAFAIACILNAIITSTYD.

tem said...

bob knight, hoosiers coach within 30 days.

ToddPacker said...

"TCNBENTAFAIACILNAIITSTYD"

wow

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Too many acronyms

ToddPacker said...

sampson was boo'd last night?

blue said...

that was long

JFreak said...

"bob knight, hoosiers coach within 30 days."

Oh man, I wish.

That would be amazing.

blue said...

TWSS

Jugdish said...

Will he sign a one day contract to retire as Hoosiers coach?

tem said...

no, a 3 year deal.

JFreak said...

Myles Brand is an awful, awful person.

Steve said...

"bob knight, hoosiers coach within 30 days."


my first thought was, you're out of your mind. then i got to thinking about it.

hummm....

The fans would love to have him back. He would love to retire there. Dirty rotten cheating coach is about to be fired. Say what ya want about BK, but he's always ran a clean program. He'd be picking up a hell of a team. The AD could use some positive program publicity.

hummm....

blue said...

he is elton Brand's father

blue said...

*myles brand

JFreak said...

Clemens pulled a cumfast saying "misremember".

It was great.

Jugdish said...

freak...are you going to blog about the first time you have sex too?

Beth said...

"TCNBENTAFAIACILNAIITSTYD"

I figure this starts off "there can never be enough nascar talk" but then I got lost.

But mark my vote down for TMNT over TCNBENTAFAIACILNAIITSTYD, whatever it is.

El Padrino said...

but then he looks like a liar for saying he was "tired"

Beth said...

"freak...are you going to blog about the first time you have sex too?"

Damn, this got me some looks when I laughed out loud.

Spaceman Spiff said...

you will order guiness again, gets better every time.

at least drink an irish car bomb once in your life

blue said...

misremember...funny

he also said that Pettite misheard him, and the Stanley looking congressman had to ask him a couple more times what Roger had said, he repeated misheard

Steve said...

"but then he looks like a liar for saying he was "tired""

true, but that could be easily spun. and i think on some level everyone already knows it was bullshit.


i'm a little bit excited.

ToddPacker said...

"at least drink an irish car bomb once in your life"

yes

tem said...

TCNBENTAFAIACILNAIITSTYD.

There
Can
Never
Be
Enough
NASCAR
Talk
As
Far
As
I
Am
Concerned
I
Love
NASCAR
It
Is
Tough
Shit
That
You
Don't

JFreak said...

John Ritter lawsuit

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Ouch

tem said...

i thought that was a common acronym?? it isn't??

Steve said...

so help me god, if DS or SG post this possibility Tem, i'm driving to pick you up and we are going on a cross-country-ass-kicking spree.

wether it happens or not, that's an hell of an idea.

Keith S said...

Why is the saying "tough shit"?

blue said...

"There
Can
Never
Be
Enough
NASCAR
Talk
As
Far
As
I
Am
Concerned
I
Love
NASCAR
It
Is
Tough
Shit
That
You
Don't"


TWSS?

Beth said...

"i thought that was a common acronym?? it isn't??"

It is now. Tem has spoken.

ToddPacker said...

'newer' time is soon

blue said...

newer is the new madness

ToddPacker said...

"i thought that was a common acronym?? it isn't??"

temcronym

Keith S said...

We can call it bi-madness...or beth-madness to the layperson.

Spaceman Spiff said...

love girls in boy short panties, highlights the best part of the ass, makes the undercheeks look awesome

Spaceman Spiff said...

beth that picture you linked is awful, boy shorts are all about the back view

blue said...

maybe that's where "Madneww" comes from?

Spaceman Spiff said...

the new york post says: "FOX's new show 'devean george: trade blocker' is side splitting, belly buster of a good time!!!"

Spaceman Spiff said...

FUCK mark cuban

Jugdish said...

30 minutes until food time

Spaceman Spiff said...

"TMZ says that the Long Island hospital where Jennifer Lopez is planning to give birth soon has been preparing for the celebrity by practicing "pink drills", the explanation of which is not nearly as sexy as I hoped.
Sources at North Shore Medical Center tell TMZ the hospital conducted a "Code Pink" drill last Friday -- "Code Pink" is code for locking down the hospital to prevent a kidnapping attempt."

Jennifer Lopez you are a fucking idiot cunt(except for your ass)

tem said...

HUNGRY

Beth said...

"beth that picture you linked is awful, boy shorts are all about the back view"

Surprisingly the selection of boy shorts pictures on google images is not very good.

Steve said...

"Surprisingly the selection of boy shorts pictures on google images is not very good."


allow me...

Steve said...

BS1
BS2
BS3
BS4


Owned!!

Steve said...

all SFW

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Decent looking woman was just in here, but DAMN she had a dark green mole on her cheek.

blue said...

OH FACE!!!! steve showed beth

ToddPacker said...

dark green mole?

ToddPacker said...

last

«Oldest ‹Older   1 – 200 of 862   Newer› Newest»

Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"





"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug





"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino





"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino