Friday, February 29, 2008

I'll speak in sentences.

ESPN showing baseball highlights has me at full wood.

Seems to me like the Spurs are going to be in the Finals again.

Ginobili's head fake / shot fake is a borderline travel.

Louisville stomped a mudhole in ND's face.

I'm a Big East fan.

I root for Cuse before anyone else though.

Despite losing to the Commodores the other night I like the Vols to reach the Final Four.

The devil re-upped with the Pats.

The greatest highlight bit on ESPN is fucking annoying.

The ugly duckling is signing with the Celts, just like SpiffG wanted.

Anderson shunns Brownies, welcome to the show Medicine Women.

As far as the Nascar fans go I think there is a race this weekend.

I hope Dsteve porked that nurse.

Frosted Mini-Wheats.

The economic news today is downright depressing.

Gas will be $4 a gallon by late July.

The lipstick is on the pig.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Back 2 Back Baby

It's tem again. And there was much rejoicing. For all who have come to this blog have come to read the witty banterings of tem. At least that's what I tell myself when I feel sad.

So, iam is sick and perhaps near death. We should have a moment of silence for him just in case.

:::: silence ::::

OK, let's get down to it. Tennessee way to go. At least you made it to number 1. Although I am pissed because just yesterday I said you'd be a #1 seed in the tourney and now, well you lost. Losing doesn't help your seed. (twss?).

Speaking of college basketball NIU just had its first on campus athletic event since Cho 2 This Time He's White shot up the place. Didn't this shooting happen like 3 or 4 weeks ago? WFT? Why did it take so long to have any sort of sporting event? I'm all for mourning the dead and getting over tragedy, but come on, 3 weeks before you have any sporting event? Nothing? Sports and entertainment help the healing process.

Random side note: Update; last night I determined that one handful of cheerios is just over 3/4 of a cup. I know everyone was curious. So today for breakfast I had a cup and a half of cheerios.

NBA Update: Kobe took a charge. Whip de do.

NHL Update: Detriot is probably still the best, lots of trades and something else happened.

MMA Update: UFC something or other is in Columbus this weekend. tem will be attending. Apparently it did not sell out either because it is blacked out in all the local bars.

OK publishing because big boss is here.

OK adding a tem movie review: When Harry Met Sally

tem knows this movie stars Billy Crystal (BC) and Meg Ryan and tem is pretty sure it is a prequel to City Slickers. Except that Jack Palance guy isn't in it. So anyway, this movie is pretty good because it was filmed back when Meg Ryan (MR) had the girl next door looks going for her instead of the "Tarah Reid looking into a mirror 30 years and 5 botched surgeries from now" look. Anyway BC is all about getting into Meg's pants because he is pretty sure nobody else has ever been there and he wants to be the first. So, he knows that his one friend knows Sally and he axes her to set them up. The friend does so and Harry goes to pick up Sally at her house. He strolls up to the door and she answers. He says "hi I am Harry" and she says "I'm Sally." Then the movie ends. I think they were going to do a bunch of sequels like "When Harry and Sally watched Spaceballs" and "When Harry Nailed Sally" but the original didn't gross enough so they skipped right to City Slickers and cut MR out.

This movie gets good marks because MR looks good and it is short.

3.5 helmet stickers out of 5.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

I'm your huckleberry

That line and that movie is awesome. Also, "you're a daisy if you do" is good too. If you don't know what movie I am talking about that is too bad for you. You should know it. I am going to use both of these sayings today at work. I hope I don't get fired.

Speaking of work, I have noticed that TPS has been unusually shitty for everyone. Also in a completely unrelated note Yahoo! had something about how the world is supposed to end in 2012. It is some sort of theory / Mayan calendar thing. WFT!?! Nobody told tem about this and tem is very angry that he is just now hearing about it. This changes everything...

Let's talk bracketology for a bit. Usually when I see them they have WVU at anywhere from a 7 to 11 seed. This pleases me, although I am not sure if we beat any good teams. We beat Marquette, so that is one I guess. Other than that it is a bunch of close losses to good teams because we shoot free throws like Shaq. I predict a first round win for WVU then a loss in the round of 32. tem's 1 seeds: TN, Memphis, UCLA and the winner of the ACC.

Random Side Note 1 written in the third person: Now that tem is officially a bachelor he is finding out that there needs to be a whole new measurement scale for food and drinks. tem is trying to lose weight, so he looks at the box of cheerios and it says 1 cup is 100 calories or whatever. The problem is tem eats cheerios by the handful. Is 1 handful a cup? tem knows that 1 handful is pretty much 1 mouthful too. Is the the same for everyone? Is one handful of food equal to one mouthful of food across the board? If so NBA players can probably get a lot in their mouth. Anyway, the same for milk. tem drinks milk right out of the bottle. How many seconds of chugging milk is one cup of milk? The FDA needs to get on this shit and let tem know.

NHL update: If you care about it, go look for yourself. I bet Detriot still has the most points as they are dedicating their season to iam, who may or may not have recently died of mono. Also Peter Forsberg is back with the Avs. 1) I never knew he left. 2) I never knew he stopped playing. 3) I thought he played for the Nordiques. OK I made that last one up.

NASCAR half sentence: Carl Edwards passed ............ to win ..........

Random Side Note 2: This is the first week in like 3 weeks that the spell check on this sumbitch has worked. Bonus to this sidenote: Girl Scout cookies arrived. I owe some dude 9 dollars now. Unfortunately I don't know who. I got into work today, there was 3 boxes on my desk and a post it note that say TM $9. TM is my initials, and I am assuming that $9 is how much I owe. But it doesn't tell me who to pay. I guess I should know. Speaking of who.....

Movie review of a movie tem has never seen: Horton Hears a Who!

This movie comes out in like 2 weeks, but amazingly enough tem hasn't seen it. Anyway, this movie is about some schmuck named Horton. Horton is played by Woody Allen. Of course Woody has this insanely hot younger chick who wants to fuck his brains out. This disturbs me about all Woody Allen flicks. But on the flip side I like hot chicks. Anyway, I digress. So this Horton chap is listening to the radio and hears an interview by some guy from The Who. He is immediately drawn to their powerful lyrics and catchy guitar solos. After hearing a Who he decides that he must find this Who and listen to the whole band. If one Who is good then four Whos must be great is his line of thinking. So Horton goes on an amazing quest to hear the other Whos. He fails miserably, never gets laid by the hot chick and dies a lonely bastard. I think there is a moral to the story but frankly when I wasn't watching it there was this hot chick sitting three seats down from me and I stared at her a lot and missed some of the movie. Well most of it.

tem's grade : incomplete.

Monday, February 25, 2008

I've got nothing


The new format makes it hard to say what each picture is.

My irons & 2 of my wedges(I'll be getting 2 new Cleveland wedges)

The set up

One of my Mullin signed shits

A 10 dollar bill from 1928.

I think that's it.

I really didn't watch sports this weekend.

I'm drunk.

I've noticed on Vista, that you don't have to do the "remove device" thing for a USB drive.

I had some shit to say, but as usual, I forgot.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

And the Oscar goes too....

Saw Mike Clayton last night, and Eastern Promises on Friday night. Today I will watch No Old Country For Old Men....just doing some prep work.

Looks like There Will Be Blood will trounce.
Hopefully there is a valid nip slip tonight.

Friday, February 22, 2008

Circle Jerk

6 inches and counting......(TWSS)
I'm the only one here for now.
Which is really not the adult thing to do.
It's just snow, it's not acid fucking rain.
Watch Memphis/Tennessee tomorrow.
Umbrella in the snow, I don't get it.
Linkin Park was sick.
They rolled out liquor carts throughout the hallways.
Jack Daniels was there.
Things got out of hand.
Beer man. Salute!

Heine on tap.

A damn shame too I had a nice post planned.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Mumbo Jumbo

Roger Goodell was at the Pacers game last night. He was not greeted warmly.

I think one of the main reasons I don't like the NBA is the preferential treatment given to the stars. At one point last night, LJ used Travis Diener (tiny >6 foot pg) as a launch pad to try to get a rebound. Diener was called for a foul. Astounding. Plus a lot of other ticky tack stuff that isn't a foul for anyone else.

Maybe LeBron was having an off night (not by the numbers, he had a triple-double), but his play wasn't terribly impressive. For the majority of the second half, he stood at the three point line head faking his defender for 15 seconds each possession. Although, in the first half he was really spreading the ball around. He'd stand in the baseline corner then whip the ball across the court to an open guy.

A collection (fixed) of some of the worst dunks available on the internet. Hilarity all around.

The scroll feature on my mouse pad appears to be broken. That is very upsetting.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008


I am busy. Real Busy.

I'll add more later.

OK, thanks for bearing with me folks. I hope nobody offed themselves because I did not post in a timely manner. If they did I would be devastated for a little bit. I'd get over it though because living in the past is no way to live at all.

So now is the time....the time for college basketball. Everyone should be watching and learning so that when they fill out their brackets they have some knowledge. Knowledge is power and nothing is worse than getting embarassed in your office tourney pool. I'd write more on the subject, but frankly I haven't been doing my homework and am fairly clueless as to who is good. I see some teams ranked highly that I would not have suspected. I don't know if they are legit or not. I will be finding out in the next few weeks. St. Mary's, I'll be watching you.

NBA: Kidd trade - Don't care. Seems like a good trade to me though. Dallas gets better now and New Jersey gets better tomorrow. Exactly what both teams want.

NHL Update: Detriot still has the most points, they must be the best team, even though they lost to Columbus.

MLB: Petite is ashamed/embarrassed of/for what he did....Is he ashamed because he got caught or really honestly ashamed?? I don't know, all I know is that Petitte seems 1000 times more believable than Clemens or that gay trainer guy.

Random Side Note: Speaking of Detriot, is Iam dead? Have we seen him lately?

Sports Guy: He apparently went to NO for the All Star game. He has definitely parlayed this internet writing into a legit career. It makes me wonder why the hell he took a job with Jimmy Kimmel in the first place. I mean, his ceiling as an intraweb writer guy has got to be higher than his ceiling as a writer for a late night show right? Did he think he'd parlay Kimmel into SNL and then get on the show and then do some movies and then do a NBA movie where he was a GM and then the Celtics brass would watch the movie and then the Celtics would hire him and then he would draft only great players and then he would fleece all the other GMs in every trade and then the Celts would win 10 titles in a row and then he would play a game for them and then score 100 points and then retire as the most popular guy ever??? He probably did think all that.

Random Side Note 2: A co-worker, who I have long suspected was a moron recently sent me an email claiming that for every person I forwarded the email to Microsoft would pay be $240. Now I know he is a moron. I am glad to have closure.

Random Side Note 3: I just got a pic from another guy at work of a Patriot cheerleader losing her top in the Super Bowl Pre-game. It is one of the most fake pics I have ever seen.

Work is a bitch. Sorry for this shitty post this week. I'll do better next week.

Monday, February 18, 2008

Tem, adjust the draft date appropriately .

We'll start with some quick pics, since that's what the people want:

My antlers. I shot this deer back in the day. About 40 yards, 20ga. shotgun, facing forward, dead center of the breast plate.

My 2 new games. So far, Midnight Club 3 is off the hook.

On to other shit.

Allegedly The Birthday Cake wasn't homeboy's only dunk he had in his bag. He had a dunk, catch it, dunk it again waiting for the next round.


Did you know- For Hank Aaron's 715th HR, a guy named Bill Buckner was in left field, and TNT's Craig "Sagerbomb" Sager was just a fan(in a white coat) waiting at home plate.

Daytona. Boring finish. I was expecting more fireworks. Last year's finish was the best with the 07 Jack Daniel's sliding across the line on it's roof. I was hoping for a "Checkers or Wreckers" finish. Didn't happen

I got 2 new fish. A Pleco & a white algae eater.

LoV Weekend Edition sucks now. Why?

Tem is an evil commish.

I'm done.

Friday, February 15, 2008


This is going to be a mixed bag of shit so hold on.

Karl Ravech's hairpiece is laughable.

Reason # 5679880 that politics is bullshit. Numerous congressional hearing on steroids in baseball while Oil companies report RECORD profits and the price of gas remains high despite the overall barrell price decreasing over 7 months. Price gauging. Do something.

I just got a email from Rich_on theblock in Texas asking me to lower the shipping cost on these Louis Vuitton shopping bags so that he can buy them. His reasoning is that he is poor. I want to respond by asking him why the fuck is he on EBAY buying junk if he's poor. I think I will do that.

The Heat are god awful. Sit down Riles. It's over.

Why are people shooting other people on college campuses and/or schools? And why do they insist on taking people with them? Just kill yourself already and spare the normal.

I have to get tickets to the final game at Shea. I will be an emotional wreck that day.

I can't believe I'm the only one that thinks Pedro is going to have a great year. This bothers me.

Freak, if you like iced tea (and really what maniac doesn't), try Long Island Iced Teas at some point this weekend.

I read a story this morning about these kids playing this "choke" game. It involves strangling yourself until you reach a "high". WHAT FUCK THE? What happened to chilling on the stoop or the corner or playing box ball or stickball or basketball or manhunt or hide the bacon or trade baseball cards or dodgeball or kickball or hang in a park or a high school or how bout not strangling yourself you fucking nimwits. It's caused like 87 deaths apparentely. Sicko's.

Clemens. Debbie. Reggie Bush. Sampson. Spygate.

You know, and this is extreme for me to say, but I think Roger Clemens is as delusional about not doing steorids as O.J Simpson was about not murdering his ex wife and Kato. He's really buying into his own brand of lies.

Now back to my romantic novel...........

Thursday, February 14, 2008


So, on the day of the 21st anniversary of my birth I had drinks.

Lots of alcohol was given to me. As seen by the above picture.

I am, what you would say, inebriated.

Let's review what was inbibed.

First drink ever (at a bar, by the way) was a Jager Bomb. I've heard stories and stories about it, but it just tasted like red bull. Was good.

I downed that real quick, so I ordered a Guiness. Real, real bitter. Did not like it at all. Maybe it's just my first taste of it, but I'm not likely to order it again.

Came home from the bar and made myself a double jager bomb. Delicious.

Went to a screwdriver next because I was told it tasted like something I used to make (mountain dew and orange juice). And it really does. Vodka + OJ = good.

Here's where I decided I should make one more drink, but I couldn't decide what it should be. So I used the internet to decide what I should make with my ingredients. I settled on something called a .50 cal but with Vault instead of squirt. The after taste really burns. A lot. So I chased each drink with the leftover vault.

About halfway through the .50 cal I really started feeling it. Not totally falling over drunk, but everything is slowed down. Certainly an interesting experience. And when I move too quick, it's strange.

A review:

Jager Bombs, Screwdrivers: good

Guiness, .50 cal: not so good.

Uh, I'm sure there is sports news out there. But I don't have the effort to report on that.

Almost forgot to mention. I went to both a bar and a liquor store and was carded in neither place. I was quite disappointed. I can't even get a carding? What's up with that hoes?

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Goodnight Hillary

Via Keith:

So I said I would post something today for iam. Apparently there’s a virus going around LoV. It’s already gone through Ohio, Michigan, and Wisconsin. I blame Beth…or fmtem. It would be nice if the virus would head north east and take out the greater Boston area, except for aitch. And I guess fmaitch. If that happened, then we could call aitch Legend.

For those who don’t follow LoVAD, first off GFY, but tonight(last night?) kod and freak had the WoRsT.sLaPpEr.EvAr. Check it out. If you don’t want to check it out, here’s a recap: “You said, blahblahblah.” “Yeah, well you said, blahblahblah.” “Yeah, well you said, blahblahblah.” “No, I said blahblahblah, but you said blahblahblah.” “BUT you said blahblahblah.” It doesn’t get much more D- than that. We also learnt last night(tonight?) that rev’s first drink when he turnt 21 was a kamikaze. I’m telling you, if you’re not following LoVAD, you’re missing out.

LoV apparently kilt blogger, so they split up the comments to allow only 200 per page. There’s no other blog that gets those kind of numbers, so congratulations LoV. You done good work.

I just read everything I wrote so far, and it’s pretty lame. Oh well, that’s why I’m not a contributor. I will make sure to not talk about shit that is already overblown (ahem, Clemens).

I’m still not comfortable living in a world where Eli Manning is a championship quarterback. This one will take a while. Trent Dilfer was bad, but wow, this one definitely tops it. (Hi EP.)

ESPN featured comment is “Pavlik is the American Ricky Hatton, only bigger and better.” I guess it’s because he’s white. Supposedly we’re not supposed to compare black people and white people to each other. It’s 1940, apparently.

Spring Training starts 2 weeks from today. Fuck yeah. I don’t usually go to many spring games, and I don’t know why. But this year will be different. The games are dirt cheap, $5 for lawn seats, and you just go out and get hammered, catch some rays, and see some guys wearing #86 play baseball. I’m aiming to see 10 spring games this year And if I don’t, well then I am a failure. Or more of a failure.

Today is freak’s birthday. He’s 21. Don’t tell him, but blue and I planned a surprise sock party for him. All the famous sock puppets are going to be there. And Lamb Chop is going to jump out of the cake. It’s gonna be great.

Anyway, I’ve spent way more time than I planned on this PoS, so go comment.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

I was sick too

I was sick yesterday too, I am suspecting it is unrelated to Deke's illness. Anyway, coming into work the day after you are sick sucks. You are already a day behind and you need to catch up right away. TPS is going to be a monster today. But don't fret, I will not let that interfere with me quickly writing up a post today. In fact, it could be a good post....but probably won't be. I will say this. It might not be solid D material, but it'll hit D- with the curve.

So telmet stickers. Extremely rare. I have decided to actually put some guidelines out there for those who wish to recieve one. And by recieve one have me type on the intraweb that you got one. Anyway, today's telmet sticker guideline: Get LOV's website on national TV, during an event that more than 1,000,000 people watch = telmet sticker. Seems achievable, but nobody has done it yet.

Random Side Note: When I type these things out the people in my office wonder what the hell I am typing. My job doesn't really require me to ever type a lot. They wonder it when I am posting to. I think they are on to me. Especially now that my direct boss moved to the office across from mine. It's nice because I can just shout questions to him, but it isn't nice because he can see me not doing work all day. A dilemma for sure.

Unspeakable addition: The mom from the Terminator TV show. tem likes this show and both female leads are on his list. This means that this show will be cancelled within 3 months. tem is sad.

Random side note 2: About 9 months ago, Mills REitV of cmMills. Way to go. Also I should note that some movie named Fools Gold was number 1 at the box office. tem doesn't even know what this movie is.

NHL Update: Detriot still has the most points, must be the best team. Also, some dude almost died.

Baseball talk: Steriods....blah, blah, blah, blah, Selig knew about Rocker, blah blah, Rocket and his wife juiced, blah blah, probation for clubhouse boy, blah blah, society.

Movie review of a movie tem has never seen:

Fools Gold. This is the current box office darling (see above). It is about a man who is hit with amazing tragedy in the old west. His wife is kilt by a stampede and he is left to raise his daughter all by himself. After a few hours of ensuing single dad in the old west raising a little girl hilarity the guy decides to go to California and pan for gold. So he gets there and the little girl finds a shitload of gold. The family becomes rich and a another 2 hours of poor west family becomes rich hilarity ensues. But then the heavy stuff hits. The daughter starts acting out and the dad just does hookers all day. So then the daughter kills herself and the guy blows all the cash on hookers and booze and dies. You see, it was the gold that caused all the trouble and even though it was real gold it was really fool's gold.

3 out of 5 helmet stickers.

Monday, February 11, 2008

I'm sick

I really think it might be time to give the bottle a rest. My insides hurt all the time.

New topics:

The Pro Bowl was Sunday. Why do they even stage this game? They should just do a skills competition. Who even won?

Grammys. My woman Miss Keys looked bad at the opening of the show, but was looking beautiful for her performance.

Underwood looked as hot as ever at the beginning.

I love Rihanna.

I started playing this Pirates Of the Caribbean online game. I'm not far at all. It's kind of clunky, but if anybody wants, we can team up & go pirating together.

**The game needs to be downloaded & is a slight pain in the ass to get it running right. It took me 2 restarts to get it. Fucking Disney.

I had more, but forgot.

Oh. I've been sweaty, dizzy, puking, and shitting this weekend. I think its time for a break.

Well, time for more POTC

I'm fucking exhausted. Time for comments.

Friday, February 08, 2008

I was late you get nothing

Your mission if you choose to accept it : Create a post in 10 minutes.

dun-dun-dun-dun-dundun-dun-dun-dun-dundun.....toootooohhh, tooootooohhh


Why did they cancel Inside the NFL on HBO sports? It was easily my favorite NFL show. This is tragic news. I forgot Cris Carter got porked on the HOF ballot. That sucks. He's a shoe-in.

18-1, the hits just keep on coming with the Schillig news. I'm afraid all of Boston's good sports karma will be done with. It started with those lovable Pats and it will continue with the Celtics who will be ousted by IAM's Pissssstons. Everyone pull your pants down and salute Boston.

McNamee. Clemens.

Cwebb was back last night. He looks fat and tired.

Nascar has a big race soon.

I think the Summer Olympics are in China and will be broadcast by NBC.

I'm still mad about the whole Inside the NFL thing. The highlights were cool.

Shaq got traded not Kobe.

I wonder what Dave Coulier is doing right now?

Romantic explosion on her stomach : Kate Hudson

Mission accomplished.

Thursday, February 07, 2008


So...I was getting being the the anniversary of the Shamford war.

So I decided to visit DB's site.

Went looking through the comments from the first few posts.

Not only were LoV regulars there (WC, temwr, rev, etc)

There were also DS lemmings marcomarco, and big d.

Plus the random LoV lurker, like Brett TM.

This one is the first appearance of the quitter, at this time known as makalb18. Also making first apperances in that episode are spiff, keith s, el pad and some guy named meiz. Also, some dude named Alex K quotes Anchorman a lot.

The infamous "I don't taste the mocha" post. First appearance for me, Steve dominates the comments.

Here is where is all starts to turn. DB makes an offhand comment about the comments for this post being more to his liking. Rev quickly chides him and lets him know that if he posted more often, more insightful commentary would happen. Tem calls DB a tool for acting holier than now.

We now have a jug sighting. It's becoming apparent that everyone called EP, "Anthony" back then. Not sure why people used his actual name.

Here's the first multiple scroller by rev. Also in those comments are tem admitting to telling now efmtem that the first down marker is actually on the field.

The shadow ninja himself, mound of venus.

DB waits more than 2 weeks for a new post and the commenters get restless. WC, Freak, and Rev all have things to say.

It appears the punishment of "I love Donkey Dick" was in reference to a persons nickname. Here is where the punishment is handed down. Also in the punishment post is the first real appearance of the quitter.

Jug and Jay Scott bring some common sense to a political argument.

A while until the next thing of note, but here is where IAM shows up. And tem is a freaking prophet saying, "The Colts bust through and win the NFL title without E. James. How? I don't know." Holy cow. This is somewhere around July 22, 2006.

Some good hate. This is the last post before KC deleted everything. We all know what happened next.

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

I hope you stop reading at "hello".

FL and TN are hooping it up and i'm watching. like 10 minutes. so that gives me right to offer up a full game review. actually, there's 5 minutes left and i'm not gonna finish this. FL looks young and shitty. maybe if i'm feeling frisky in the morning (i won't be) i will update it with some poorly stolen stats. poorly being that they will be wrong cause i'll just pick numbers off the page and associate them with my own category of choice. most of you suckers won't know the difference anyway. only the people whose team it is will care. this means TP. and since he has the alzheimerness, it wont make a difference at all. (morning update.. no stats)

did i mention that the super bowl ads sucked? cause i'm not gonna mention it again. that would be like mentioning that tHe.gReAtEsT.tEaM.eVaR officially gets marked down in the books as 18-1.

have we mentioned 18-1 yet this week? i dont know... see the comments, i think there is an 18-1 popping up every here and there.. a sad sight to see, that blemish. as i was watching a couple minutes of SC whilst pounding some cheerios, i thought about the Pats. i thought about how at first i kinda wanted to see a historic moment, but then after this has all played out.. i really enjoy that the Gints won. sure, they're one of the most mediocre SB teams in recent memory.. right up there with the Seahawks and Panthers, but difference is, somehow they won it. still not sure that they really did. i think it had more to do with the commies running our country that influenced the results of the game. well, maybe not. maybe it had more to do with a young boy with some kickin' abs and all he wanted to do was play (all i wanna do is race, daddy!). somebody needs to pluck an ovary out of Olivia just incase we need a fallback plan for the human race.

i like the Gasol trade. i wanna see the Lakers play soon. "soon" cause they wont be playing too long into the playoffs and i dont wanna miss em.

TN is just fucking shit up now. FL is scurred, cause there is something to worry about. anal rape, that's what's up.

-there is a rumored Shaq trade to the Suns. Ezekial, come give us your thoughts. the tree welcomes u back. it sounds redikkalus. i hate Shaq, so i hope he goes to Phx and then dies of heat stroke. run out of gas soon, you big oofy fuck.

-the Patriots video thing will come out that they were 13 shades of shady. there was mad amounts of cheating going on. where there's smoke there's fire. believe it. he's guilty, dont listen to the lies. duke lacrosse, kids. case and point.

but seriously, mofo's will do anything for a dime (trust me, i've done it), so with that much money out there to done be gotten... i totally believe The Cheater cheated something fierce. SB glory, hoodie endorsements from Steve & Barry's, scissors, wrinkle cream. shit. he would be rolling in it. cash money hoes.

my hands are cold. i am tired.

it's 10. time to aim for the front page and squat one out..
it's your problem now.

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Time for Arena Ball

Bob Knight calling it quits. Everyone should know what this means. Coach Knight went to the AD said this might be his last season. AD said thanks for the heads up you want to help me find a new coach. Then Coach Knight said Pat should get the job. Then the AD had a hearty laugh and Coach Knight quit so his kid would get a fair shake. I don't want to hear any other version of the story. Mine is correct. As a matter of fact I haven't even read any of the articles on it (we'll call that reporting Shamford style). I am just assuming my version is correct.

NHL Update: Detriot still has the most points. They are still the best. Iam must be thrilled.

Random Side Note 1: Weathermen are just stupid. I hate them. Today's weather man: "high of 53 with a low of 27, currently 57." I had to rewind the DVR just to be sure. I know we are solid D here now but even we know that 57 > 53.

NASCAR Update: I think the Bud Shootout or whatever is this weekend. Time to start hitting up from time to time. Although don't read that as an endorsement of That site has the worst writers of any site out there. Even LOV > They are all a bunch of douches. Not because they are dumb southerners either, because they aren't. Most seem to be from New Hampshire which by the by could be the most worthless state out there. Anyway, they suck, that's the main theme here. If you take one thing away from this paragraph let it be that.

Random Side Note 2: Deke your prize is getting picked up by Mr. Postman today. I have no clue how long it takes to get to you. Probably 5 days. I used work postage on it so I might get fired. I hope you are happy.

Well this is my column and even though everyone is probably sick of hearing about the Super Bowl I'll throw in my thoughts in no particular order:
  • Eli played a lot like Brett Favre did/does. A lot. Don't tell me you didn't see it either. Eli is the new Brett. Crazy throws that work, crazy throws that almost get picked off. Making plays out of nothing. Don't take this as I am saying something bad about him either. It is a good thing to be compared to Brett. Unless we are saying something like "you're as hooked on those pills as Brett was to vicodin"
  • The one and only reason I am sad the Pats lost: Now I have no clue what to say to Vrabel during Arena Season. If they won I could have congratulated him, now that they lost I can't say "I was pulling for ya" or anything like that. Because that is clearly gay. I might just go with "trade seats with your kid please, you take up too much room."
  • Now it is time to watch and pay attention to College Basketball. Start now.
  • Giants front 4 + 1 blitzer were great. Pats blocked that shit up all year, but somehow forgot to this time. Give credit to the Giants on that. Either that or the 2 week break is just too long .
  • I was not impressed with the lot of Super Bowl commercials. Did the writers strike affect them? They were not that great.
  • If the Pats win do Brady and Moss still skip the Pro Bowl? NFW.
  • Finally the Pats loss was all El Tardo's fault. Go skin him or something.

I guess this post is getting up there in words so I better just hit Publish Post. Comment away. Next week I'll put out a movie review and maybe a temdiary of something El Tardo wrote. Or maybe I'll put that in the comment section. You'll just have to stay tuned.

Random Side Note 3: What ever happened to those DJs that kilt that lady by making her drink a lot of water? Someone slueth this shit out for me.

Also, lurkers, post some comments. Do it. Do it now.

Monday, February 04, 2008

I'm speechless


Just fucking wow man.

Cmon guys. Props are due. I'm good for busting balls but all you guys were dead wrong.
Told you they were playing the best football at the moment.

Simmons surely died. This is excellent news. 42-17 my fat cock.

Nobody thought they could win. Again. And I bet you still didnt believe they could after the Moss TD.....but with 2:45 seconds left, Elisha Norman Manning proved he can do whatever it takes, WHATEVER it takes to will his team down the field and make champions out of all of them.

This was honestly the most exciting, thrilling game I ever seen in my life. Magnified by 1 million that it was my Giants and you easily have my greatest sports moment in all my 28 years on earth. I was 6 when they crushed Denver (and Mets over Boston), I was 10 when Norwood hit it wide left and while I remember my Dad just about flipping cars over outside and throwing me in the air it really never sunk in at ten years old. I do re-watch that game alot though and it was too, a hell of a game in itself. But this one. My god, a good ol-fashioned slobber-knocker.

The Giants hit/pressured/touched Brady 18 times!

The 4th and 13 decision cost the gnenius the game. Way to go genius.

18 times!!! Not including the 3 sackes. Just remarkable defense. Justin Tuck was a beast. Osi was fucking slick and powerful, Strahan turned the clock back AGAIN and was dominant. Brady actually looked rattled.

I can type forever. I can't even sleep. I can't. I'm off today but here I am typing out a post at 9am. Incredible.

18-1. Shock the world. Last night I ran through the streets of Brooklyn waving my Eli jersey and screaming, with no shoes on. NS.

Now if you'll excuse me I need to go on NFL Shop .com and order up those Super Bowl hats, tshirts and wait for that SI commercial with the commerative Issue and DVD.

"I'll give you a quote on Seymour," Jacobs said. "You can write that he's a soft [expletive]. He said we should get ready to go home. Well, now he's on the team that went 18-1."

"It's one thing to win a championship ... it's another to win a championship like that. You can't possibly understand unless it happens to you." SO TRUE...

My boner has not gone down. And I imagine it wont. I'm ok with that.


Sunday, February 03, 2008

The Soooooooooooperrrrrr Booooooooowwwwwl!

The time is here and now. Put up or shut up, Pats & G-Men. U of P Stadium. The biggest Sunday of the year. The underdog and the juggernaut. Eli & Tom. Randy & Plax. Offense vs Mad Pass Rush. Time to man the fuck up. 'Nuff said.

XLII is here.


Friday, February 01, 2008


In a year that my team makes the Super Bowl, they have to go up against a team that hasn't lost a meaningful game in a little over a year. It was a very bitter loss, too. One that probably fueled them heading into this season to dominate. And dominate they did. 16-0 regular season, with two post season wins at home making it to 18-0. One more win, and they will be known as the greatest football team in the history of the game.

And the only thing that stands in their way is my team. The New York Football Giants. A team I have been rooting for since birth. A team with great history and pride. Wonderful owners, tremendous class of hall of famers, alumni, and coaches. A team that has set it's own record this year, a record of 10 straight road games. A team that has clawed it's way to the Super Bowl by winning 3 games on the road. A team that has gone through both the #1 and the #2 seeds in their conference. A team that started the year 0-2. A team that has peaked at the right time.

Now most of you say they don't belong. I pose this one question to you if you think that.

If the other team wasn't going for the 19-0 record, would you still be picking against the Giants this Sunday? If your answer is yes then there is no hope for you. The Giants are playing the best football than any other team right now, other than those Patriots. And in the end, isn't that what it's all about? You hear all the time about how teams "get hot" at the right time. Your 2007 Rockies, Blue. Somebody's 2006 Steelers. There is an example just about every year in sports. This year it's the 2007 New York Giants.

They can run the ball at will. The secondary is playing like they are on fire. The front seven led the league in sacks. They finally found a return game. They have a confident kicker. The best punter. A winning coach. A hot assitant coach. Veteran leadership. Outstanding rookies. And of course a budding star QB. I can go on here is the point.

I mean, am I looking at this through Giants colored glasses? Sure I am. But how else do you expect a Giants fan to look at it? Freak looked at last years Super Bowl through a horseshoe. Todd Packer gives us insight on how good the Gators had been, 2 years running. Then, once in a while goes all TEBOW on us. Keef tells us that Dee University of Ohio State belongs. You all know that's what makes sports great. Arguments.

I can argue all night long, just like Lionel Richie. So, bring it.

Giants win by the score of 30-28, and history is changed.

And now all my Super Bowl bets copy and pasted weazy style:

Ticket # Accepted Type Risk To Win RISK WIN
47847197-1 1/29/2008 7:23 PM Spread 110.00 100.00 Football - 101 New York Giants +12½ -110 for Game

47847197-2 1/29/2008 7:23 PM Spread 120.00 100.00 Football - 101 New York Giants +7 -120 for 1st Half

47847290-1 1/29/2008 7:27 PM Future/Prop 15.00 270.00 .NFL - 2008 Superbowl XLII - Contest Type Props - 10-Player to score the first touchdown in the game - Kevin Boss +1800

47847304-1 1/29/2008 7:28 PM Future/Prop 50.00 60.00 .NFL - 2008 Superbowl XLII - Halves Props - 17-Jacobs vs Maroney - 1st half longest rush - Brandon Jacobs +120

47847312-1 1/29/2008 7:29 PM Future/Prop 25.00 112.50 .NFL - 2008 Superbowl XLII - Contest Type Props - 12-Player to score NY Giants first TD in the game - Amani Toomer +450

47847323-1 1/29/2008 7:29 PM Future/Prop 30.00 51.00 .NFL - 2008 Superbowl XLII - NY Giants RBs Props - A-Ahmad Bradshaw - 11-Total pass receptions made by Ahmad Bradshaw - Over 1 pass receptions +170

47847339-1 1/29/2008 7:30 PM Future/Prop 12.00 156.00 .NFL-FUTURES - 2008 Super Bowl XLII MVP - Player to win the 2008 Superbowl XLII MVP - Plaxico Burress +1300

47847353-1 1/29/2008 7:31 PM Future/Prop 10.00 400.00 .NFL-FUTURES - 2008 Super Bowl XLII MVP - Player to win the 2008 Superbowl XLII MVP - Corey Webster +4000

47847577-1 1/29/2008 7:43 PM Future/Prop 25.00 52.50 .NFL - 2008 Superbowl XLII - General Game Props - B-Game Comparison Props - 52-Will either team score 3 unanswered times n game - No +210

47847598-1 1/29/2008 7:45 PM Future/Prop 25.00 87.50 .NFL - 2008 Superbowl XLII - General Game Props - C-New York Giants Props - 35-Total pts scored by Giants in 1st half of game - 13 - 15 points +350

And don't forget tails. It never fails. I got that for $100 straight up.


Everyone enjoy the Super Bowl. Even if your team isn't in it, it's a terrific day to be a man. Eat, drink, scratch, watch and argue!

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