Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Mahala Jesus!

Saw it on a bumper sticker yesterday as I was driving in to work. Apparently Hawaii loves Haysoos. Go figure.

Today's post will be quite the challenge. See, I have Tom Brady's balls in my left hand. This means that I am typing with only my right hand. Extra bonus points for me.. or something. The one thing I need Tom to do (Tom, are you reading? I hope you're looking over my shoulder.. I told you it's not a personal email, so I don't care if you read now...). If you could, just make sure to not get in my way too much. I realize we're in close proximity here but try, if you can, to anticipate some of my moves. Just little stuff. Like if my pen dies, just try to be aware of me shaking it furiously, then looking to my drawer for a new one. Maybe skooch out of the way of the drawer for me. Really, I'm not expecting much.. just try to do me this favor while I'm doing this favor for The Sports Guy. It's one day, we can both learn to live with it.

Now that I've written a full paragraph about another man's balls, we shall move on.

As was covered yesterday, Heath Ledger died. I have nothing more to say other than that I am clearly filling space with irrelevant celebrity news. But you're reading.

Larry Brown was bitching about how the Knicks treated him. Don't start squirting tears for him yet... when he left, he got an 18.5 million $ settlement. Holy effing ess. I know I probably heard that 6 years ago when it happened, but the story just reminded me and that number is shocking. We'll add that to the money that he stole from the Pistons too, and that is alot of coin for no work. That is a great retirement package. Mad propers for that cracker. I appreciate and definitely do not hate. Sheet, it ain't my money, why would I care.

This is all you get for today.

I'm gonna go stomp out a homeless man and his dog. And then put whatever money I have on the Giants losing cause they don't belong. (Sorry EP.)

765 comments:

1 – 200 of 765   Newer›   Newest»
iamunstoppable said...

furst

H said...

second?

El Padrino said...

i tell ya we get no respectya hear me no respect

ToddPacker said...

i think cm might be jealous of your brady situation

iamunstoppable said...

zero respek

El Padrino said...

not liek it needed it but this new batman in july, dark knight is going to shatter box office recrods now

El Padrino said...

this reminds me of a will ferrell scene in WC, look at me hony, i'm hangliding, aaaahhhhhh i'm dead

what an idiot!

H said...

I'm really not digging being at work right now...

El Padrino said...

"cartwheeled over some rocks"

ouch.

El Padrino said...

aitch, no fucking way!
me neither!

El Padrino said...

Brock Lesnar joining MMA fightin

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

EP is a bad AM spelter

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I hafta shit

H said...

i left a nice warm bed and a cute girl in it to come here and get bitched at by debtors. joy...

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

What did I miss?

tem said...

cute girl in bed? was she wool? or argyle?

tem said...

oops, i am mixing up my insults. those are for freak.

tem said...

i actually have very little hate in me today.

H said...

she's quite cute. potential fmH. we shall see...

iamunstoppable said...

she aint that cute.

that's why we dumped her. me being beth and myself.

ToddPacker said...

"i actually have very little hate in me today."

maybe this will help:

rich rod
Pitt
Axe

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

My stomach is empty. I want a bacon, egg, & cheese bagel

El Padrino said...

i won the spelling bee in the 5th grade

true story

tem said...

nah not helping.

dare i say i am in a good mood today??

H said...

iam, huh?

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Tem, you're a pussy. You like dick in the ass.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

How's that?

ToddPacker said...

"i won the spelling bee in the 5th grade"

spelting bees weren't invented yet when i was in 5th grade

ToddPacker said...

deke goes for the jugular

Jugdish said...

huh?

Jugdish said...

Oh...never mind

tem said...

nah, today is a good day.

El Padrino said...

you didn't even have to use your AK?

El Padrino said...

the lakers beat the super sonics

oooo ahhhhhh

tem said...

i imagine that by the end of the day i'll be cranky again. but for now, not so much.

tem said...

i would be wary about a chick from new england though.

hopefully she moved there from somewhere that doesn't suck.

ToddPacker said...

"hopefully she moved there from somewhere that doesn't suck."

hahahhahahahahahaha

H said...

tem, originally from RI. sorry. Although she did go to school at the U. does that help at all?

tem said...

the U.?

Like Miami?

H said...

yup

iamunstoppable said...

shes gangsta

tem said...

so she is a cute gangster from Rhode Island?

interesting.

H said...

we were watching the game on Sunday and she kept giving love to all the miami players. it was quite amusing. also cool she knows a bit about football...

tem said...

i2i with iam

H said...

not gansta at all actually, surprisingly

iamunstoppable said...

lookout though, she might hotwire the Camaro

tem said...

well if H is happy then that's all that matters.

tem said...

happy H means those debt collection calls are just a bit friendlier.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I got engaged.

ToddPacker said...

"well if H is happy then that's all that matters."

i don't care for the new good-mood tem

ToddPacker said...

"I got engaged."


liar

H said...

nah, friendly collection calls are not effective ones

tem said...

deke is engaged?

fantabulous!

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Yeah, I'm lying. Just trying to get a rise out of people.

tem said...

oh, that sucks deke.

too bad.

better luck next time.

El Padrino said...

engaged to what?

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

There is a really stupid bitch in here right now.

Annoying

H said...

yea just let me clarify, by potential fmH I do not mean potential wife or finacee. don't want y'all getting the wrong idea. H is not ready to give up the rockstar lifestyle.

tem said...

what did you mean then?

blue said...

first beth, then keith, then deke, next is H...damn those fm's

blue said...

LoV must depress people so much that it makes them want to get married

El Padrino said...

teabag her when you get home for me aitch

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Should I trade Turkoglu & Okur for Yao?

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"first beth, then keith, then deke, next is H...damn those fm's"


I said I was kidding

Beth said...

"There is a really stupid bitch in here right now.
Annoying"

Good to see this, if Deke turned nice (i.e. wimpy) like Tem is today (his bowling ball would say "I love you all") I'd be sure the world was about to end.

H said...

i mean maybe a g/f, but at least a regualr lay...

tem said...

Nice is not wimpy.

tem said...

clue is mad because he has a "cm" and not a "fm."

tem said...

umm clue = blue.

that is a bad typo.

ToddPacker said...

clue is funny

Keith S said...

Eli found in bed with Esera Tuaolo

Beth said...

"Nice is not wimpy"

On some people it is, that's all I'm saying...

ToddPacker said...

"Eli found in bed with Esera Tuaolo"

cleith is funny too

Keith S said...

I picked up my new TV last night. Now I can see the Geeeeeeeee-men lose in HD.

blue said...

nah, an fm just wants to talk about weddings and wedding plans all the time...

cm typically leaves me the hell alone...until it's my turn to change a diaper or something

tem said...

beth knows nothing of nice due to her fascination with lawyers.

her morals are all out of whack.

tem said...

she needs to spend some time in the trust tree.

tem said...

fms still give you blow jobs.

tem said...

i rest my case.

tem said...

if judge joe brown were here he would have declared me the winner by TKO.

ToddPacker said...

"i rest my case"

ouch... that hurt

Beth said...

"the trust tree"

I miss the old tem.

tem said...

does anyone like new tem?

ToddPacker said...

"does anyone like new tem?"


i bet rev would like new tem

ToddPacker said...

does newtem like cheese?

tem said...

"i bet rev would like new tem"

i was just thinking this.

mental i2i.

H said...

i prefer angsty tem personally...

Keith S said...

rev would take the new tem to see a 27 Dresses and What Women Want doubleheader

tem said...

cheese is good. it binds though.

tem said...

angsty? i have a feeling of dread?

tem said...

"27 Dresses and What Women Want doubleheader"

ah, dinner, 27 dresses, back to rev's place for What Women Want and dinner again.

Beth said...

"fms still give you blow jobs"

I think the relevant question in response to this is: what about efms? :-)

ToddPacker said...

"cheese is good. it binds though"

maybe meiz needs more cheese

tem said...

that was a low blow beth.

H said...

tem, embrace the angst...

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"i mean maybe a g/f, but at least a regualr lay..."


I wish I had a regular lay.

tem said...

deke i thought you did have a regular lay.

Beth said...

"that was a low blow beth"

Hey, I do what I have to to get Angry Tem back.

tem said...

"embrace the angst" sounds like a soft core porn.

blue said...

i know how to get rid of newtem...

send him to pre-marital counseling

ToddPacker said...

100

ToddPacker said...

nope

tem said...

clue snuck in at 100.


good job clue.

tem said...

its almost time for lunch. maybe i will have a salad and some sort of fruit smoothie.

El Padrino said...

keef is at it again

ToddPacker said...

clue is sneaky

Keith S said...

deke
Did you see your shout-out on BCS?

El Padrino said...

where is tem and what did you do with him!

blue said...

my brother called off his wedding once already, and now the 2nd go round is about 8 weeks away and his fm hasn't really started planning because she thinks he'll call it off again...this could be very amusing

tem said...

clue's brother and fm clue's brother sound entertaining.

H said...

no one is answering the phone today. I want to go back to bed, tho I'm sure the girl has left by now...

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Should I trade Turkoglu & Okur for Yao?

tem said...

8 weeks is not a long time to plan.

tem said...

deke if the trade feels right then do it.

tem said...

listen to your heart.

tem said...

does the girl have a key to your place?

tem said...

maybe she is taking all of your stuff.

she is a gangsta from da U.

Keith S said...

When he's calling for you

tem said...

keith knows the words to a gay song.

good for keith.

Keith S said...

That means you know them, too

tem said...

yes, yes it does.

H said...

"8 weeks is not a long time to plan."

it is if the wedding is at chuck e cheese....

tem said...

is it roxette?

Keith S said...

EP
Do you know of a store there called D'Agostino

Keith S said...

"is it roxette?"

Embarrassing

tem said...

i really like how my box of kleenex is white for the first 90 tissues, but then for the last 10 they change colors.

it lets me know when i need to get another box just a little ahead of time.

really thoughtful on Kleenex's part.

El Padrino said...

"Should I trade Turkoglu & Okur for Yao?"

no, yao is fragile

El Padrino said...

"EP
Do you know of a store there called D'Agostino"


yes

tem said...

1st roxette mention on LOV?

tem said...

ok folks it is time for me to go dine.

ToddPacker said...

enjoy the salad

Keith S said...

EP
Here you go

You can get $30 in free groceries from there

Keith S said...

You'll be pissed about the Geeeee-men losing, but then you'll remember all the free food that you got

Keith S said...

TP
The link to the golf game is on the front of LOG

blue said...

wow $30 in free groceries...in Manhattan that'll buy you a loaf of bread, a container of milk and a stick of butter

Keith S said...

Thanks Mr. Glass Half Empty

blue said...

KEith, do you use the pro series clubs or the beginner series


what's your username

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

I'm Dana Jacobson?

blue said...

nevermind, i found you on the top 250 list

Keith S said...

"I'm Dana Jacobson?"

Probably because of the ND hating

Keith S said...

Is it more difficult w/ the pro series clubs?

H said...

no tem, she does not have keys. Hope she doesn't forget anything cuz she can't get back in.

blue said...

i don't know, i'm trying them out now

Keith S said...

Ahh yes, much more difficult

blue said...

with the pro series clubs you can adjust your stance

blue said...

yeah, it's much harder with the pro series

El Padrino said...

sweet, good looking
i will $30 in olives, they have good olives

El Padrino said...

*buy

El Padrino said...

this conference call is making my ears bleed

blue said...

EP will get 7 olives

Spaceman Spiff said...

i suck at the golf game

blue said...

the golf game is difficult on my home computer...too slow

H said...

what should I eat for lunch?

H said...

never mind, we decided on quizno's

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Taco Bell

El Padrino said...

brady will be eating dirt next sunday

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

Quiznos was my 2nd suggestion.


Steakhouse Beef Dip

H said...

ep, I'm not taking the bait. sorry.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

refresh

Keith S said...

"Steakhouse Beef Dip"

Heaven

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"brady will be eating dirt next sunday"


mrsEP ♥ Tom Brady. She'd let him pound away all day.

H said...

I dunno about their steak anymore. couple weeks ago, a lady hear order a salad with steak on it. they basically threw a bunch of raw meat on the salad. it was nasty.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

""Steakhouse Beef Dip"

Heaven"

Yes

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

WGT won't let me register. I blame the slow internet connection.

El Padrino said...

actually she doesn't like him at all, she onyl knows who brady is because of who he knocked up and who he is dating now

El Padrino said...

never had Quizno's

ever

blue said...

"a lady hear order a salad with steak on it"


must be a NE thing

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"never had Quizno's

ever"


WFT

H said...

they call it the balck and blue salad or somethin EP. I don't know if it is a strictly NE thing. I doubt it though.

H said...

coffee milk, that's a new england thing

El Padrino said...

quizno wft

they just popped up in nyc like 3 or 4 years ago and there aren't manyaround

El Padrino said...

Mike Smith new AAAAAAAAAT
TTTLLL coach

El Padrino said...

plue there are real fucking deli's to eat at

H said...

I'm in the mood to sue someone now. I need to find a good candidate.

El Padrino said...

mike smith is the def coordinator of the jags in case ya'll didnt know

H said...

yea with all the deli's in NY, I wouldn't eat at a chain either, EP.

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

"plue there are real fucking deli's to eat at"


Steakhouse Beef Dip can't be duplicated.

El Padrino said...

"Steakhouse Beef Dip can't be duplicated."

your a food novice
Stage Deli on Broadway would blow this to smithereens

whatever it is

tem said...

i have returned from eating.

it was salad, meatball sub and fries.

tem said...

"Steakhouse Beef Dip can't be duplicated."

yet they make it at thousands of Quiznos.

H said...

"Stage Deli on Broadway would blow this to smithereens

whatever it is"

It's a roastbeef sandwich with au jus. not exactly unique...

El Padrino said...

The French Dip at the Capital Grill on Lexington AVE (i think) is the best one i've ever eaten

iamunstoppable said...

midday recap:

NY balldips the world.

iamunstoppable said...

and if ya dont know, now ya know.

El Padrino said...

TROOF.

El Padrino said...

tiki is picking the Giants to win

howdoyado!

tem said...

tiki has some inside knowledge.

like he would get his ass kicked if he picked against the gints.

Spaceman Spiff said...

tiki is obviously jinxing the shit out of them, he's bitter as fuck

Spaceman Spiff said...

urban meyer getting investigated for recruiting violations

*gator chomp*

tem said...

what is that a picture of?

Dikembe Meiztombo said...

NYC sucks

Keith S said...

On this day in 1983...
At the height of his career, 26 year old tennis player Bjorn Borg announced his retirement. He had won a record five straight Wimbledon titles.

Spaceman Spiff said...

laron landry, sitting on the beach, head down at the end of the playoff loss

El Padrino said...

rut roh tp

El Padrino said...

motivation for next year spiff ?

El Padrino said...

deke you've been misguided young man

Keith S said...

"urban meyer getting investigated for recruiting violations"

ahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Keith S said...

So it must be against NCAA rules for the coach to blow the QB.

Jugdish said...

who knew?

Jugdish said...

200?

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"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino