Thursday, January 31, 2008

Snow Tornado

Uh, so Tuesday night there was a Snow Tornado here in Indianapolis.

You heard that right. A tornado with snow.

I'm pretty sure that's a sign of the apocalypse.

Uhhhh, WFT?!

Actual sport items:

Patriots are pussies.

John Lynch can't figure out whether to retire or not. In the interim, he has been suspended by The Golf Channel.

Tom Brady is a fairy (homosexual).

I can't listen to sports radio this week. Except for the one local guy who refuses to talk about the Super Bowl.

The guy who found Knute Rockne's crashed plane died. Why is this news?

Kansas loses for the first time. No more chalk rocking.

Al Saunders is the new O-coordinator for St. Louis. Expect it to take him 2 to 3 years to implement his 800 page playbook.

In strange news, the West is still better than the East in the NBA.

News reports out of Arizona say that Matt Leinart is going to start next year. How is that news? Everyone already knew that.

Go away Favre.

Kidd deal is shaping up to be a three team deal with the Mavs and Blazers.

No video today, go do something productive.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Make today the day it was destined to be!

Good morning, good people.

Lastly, this Rich Rod thang has gots ta go. There is no way all the hype and extra attention/BS is gonna be worth it. I am seriously not expecting UM to accrue more than 8 wins in the next 3 seasons. I hope I am wrong, but let's be honest.. usually I'm not.

The Pacers have a large contigent of whities on their team. And now they have a lineup of 3-2 in favor of the crackers. Travis Diener is running point. I am guessing on how to spell that last name cause I've never heard of this bitch.. but all you have to know is that he is really small and looks like somebody brought their little brother to pickup ball. Whatever happened to that Sauranis Joe Juravisciousnessly dude? Forget it, I don't care anymore. Mike Dunleavy is acting like he's gonna do the Jordan Shrug here any second. Dude, no. Just stop with the "let it fly and start back down court". You're doing nice right now, but you ain't that nice.

Since I always suck ass in the mornings (and occasionally on the weekends if the pay is right) I figured I would get a small head start by doing it in the evening whilst watching the hoopsketball. However, this sucks and I am now going to go do something better. Like... nothing. Or anything. I gotta go feed the baby. Wifey will be home soon and she hates it if I'm pretending to be a sports blogger and not tending to my home duties. Ok, it's officially time, cause it's halftime and I just switched channels and American Idol is on and they showed some fat bitch laughing like a hyena. That is all I need to show me I should back away from the TV altogether. Oh wait, there's a little girl rapping about about how drugs are bad. She desires a drug-free partnership for America. Fuck you, bitch.

Speaking of fooking... if you're cheating, this next bitch'll find out. Make sure to watch this when you get home. Get out your ghetto side and feel her flow. Riskay, the Drama Queen... featuring such hits as 'When the Drawls Drop', 'You Ain't Shit' and the video below.. 'Smell Yo Dick'. Make sure you listen to it now so when it bumps in the club you can sing along from the start. Don't bandwagon.


A bunch of other stuff happened too, but I wasn't watching. Although did somebody die? On Mike & Mike I caught them saying "tragedy" and "Bob Ryan", so I am going to assume the worst and start the rumors whether they're true or not. I look at it this way, I'm either breaking news or making news. Either way is fine by me.


Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Post 442

That's a lot of posts that we have. Way to go us. 2 helmet stickers for everyone.

Anyway, enough of the back patting. The Super Bowl is this Sunday, so far I have stayed away from all the hype stuff. I am pretty proud of myself. That is difficult to do, but so far so good. I know who is playing and I know when they are playing. That's good enough for me this year. Of course when the Bucs were in it like 5 years ago I watched probably 80 hours of the pre game hype crap. So if you are a Pats and Giants fan you get a pass if you watched, if not you either have a problem or have no life. You can pick.

This is the part where I am going to be honest and tell you all that I totally forgot it was Tuesday and that I needed to post something. Honesty is a policy, I don't think it is the best one though, but it is a policy, I'll give it that.

So Tem doesn't have a vacuum cleaner and said as much to a co-worker. Not sure why vacuum cleaners came up in office talk, but it did. So co-worker said she just bought a Dyson and had to get rid of her old one that apparently still works good. She said that I could have her old vacuum. I was pretty much thinking whatever, but I accepted the offer of the free vacuum. The only problem is co-worker keeps forgetting to bring the damn thing in with her. I think it is some sort of game. She is trying to see if I snap or something. I don't know why I am relaying this story because it isn't funny or entertaining, but whatever. So the moral of the story is nothing. Shit like this happens all the time because people are dumbasses.

Random Side Note: I would do one here, but really this whole post is just a bunch of random side notes. What can I say?

Deke made an unspeakable addition for me already this week. If you want to see who it was go read his post. It is from yesterday.

Movie review of a movie Tem has never seen (anyone else notice that I am capitalizing Tem this week?? Do I usually do that?):

El Pad's number 59 movie, Boiler Room. This movie is a documentary about boiler rooms. It is aptly named. Going into not watching this movie I wasn't quite sure how a documentary about boiler rooms made El Pad's list, but after having not watched it I can totally see it now. This is the documentary of the century. The cinematography was off the charts. They had Morgan Freeman doing the voice over, so that was awesome. Had I watched it I would have laughed, cried and learnt some things. Boilers are fascinating and they get the A+ treatment here. If you are in the mood to learn, I highly recommend this movie.

4.5 out of 5 Helmet Stickers.

Monday, January 28, 2008

The long one. (aka: The Beth Special)

The sock bar.

The Dogg Father & Deluxe
The little sledding hill. AKA: the outfield

More pictures. I'm lazy/drunk.

My new addition to Tem's Unspeakable list is Kate Mara.

Tiger is still the best.

I have a pizza cooking.

Fuck it. I'm drunk.

Go comment.

Friday, January 25, 2008

Spoof week

First I'll write like Deke.

My hallway.

The Korean grocery.

The train doors this a.m.

Now like TEM.

Unspeakable addition : Rich Rod's wife (s)

NBA Update : Boston has the best record. They must be the best team.

Movie Review I've never seen : Pretty in Pink. This is a softcore porn movie. I suggest everyone go see it. Circles around a young Shannon Tweed who keeps trying on pink lingerie and showing strangers how it looks. It looks pretty good.
4 stars out of 5

Random Side Note : Don't tease me with cake. Either bring it to the meeting or don't. I hate when people say "oh, maybe I'll bring cake". The answer to that is always yes, yes you should.

Now like IAM.
The fact that the NFL thinks that this extra week is worth some sort of revenue annoys the piss out of me. Aren't they complacent with the fact that they make a ton of money and have the image of a clean churchboy who never was sexually assaulted? Aren't they complacent that they don't ever worry about steroids? Aren't they complacent that they take very good care of all the former players? Aren't they complacent that they have Tony Romo? Aren't they complacent that they have Matt Millen in their miserable lives?

Oh in case you missed it my mayor is a lying, cheating, horny piece of shit. Hay-zooz mayne. Did you not think you'd get caught with all those "steamy" text messages. Next time do what the older politicians do and kill the slut. What up Condit!

One more thing. the Pistons are straight up ball-dipping fools.

Now like Freak
You tube.

And now myself.
GGGGGGMMMMMEEEEEENNNNNNN!!!!! take care of bidness is a week away. Iam super pumped and rightfully so. Stop stealing my thunder.

Remember that jealousy breeds acne.

Ok there is a play or two available tonight but they don't excite me. Betting on football is alot better, I've soured on all other sports betting.

Federer lost.

That Xames shit was phat on HD. Normally I wouldn't watch but it was a good 20 minutes. The snow was cool.

That is all.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Mahala Jesus!

Saw it on a bumper sticker yesterday as I was driving in to work. Apparently Hawaii loves Haysoos. Go figure.

Today's post will be quite the challenge. See, I have Tom Brady's balls in my left hand. This means that I am typing with only my right hand. Extra bonus points for me.. or something. The one thing I need Tom to do (Tom, are you reading? I hope you're looking over my shoulder.. I told you it's not a personal email, so I don't care if you read now...). If you could, just make sure to not get in my way too much. I realize we're in close proximity here but try, if you can, to anticipate some of my moves. Just little stuff. Like if my pen dies, just try to be aware of me shaking it furiously, then looking to my drawer for a new one. Maybe skooch out of the way of the drawer for me. Really, I'm not expecting much.. just try to do me this favor while I'm doing this favor for The Sports Guy. It's one day, we can both learn to live with it.

Now that I've written a full paragraph about another man's balls, we shall move on.

As was covered yesterday, Heath Ledger died. I have nothing more to say other than that I am clearly filling space with irrelevant celebrity news. But you're reading.

Larry Brown was bitching about how the Knicks treated him. Don't start squirting tears for him yet... when he left, he got an 18.5 million $ settlement. Holy effing ess. I know I probably heard that 6 years ago when it happened, but the story just reminded me and that number is shocking. We'll add that to the money that he stole from the Pistons too, and that is alot of coin for no work. That is a great retirement package. Mad propers for that cracker. I appreciate and definitely do not hate. Sheet, it ain't my money, why would I care.

This is all you get for today.

I'm gonna go stomp out a homeless man and his dog. And then put whatever money I have on the Giants losing cause they don't belong. (Sorry EP.)

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Spoof Day

Call it spoof day, call it tem acting like an idiot day, call it Tuesday, it doesn't matter. What matters is that today I am going to write like all of our "favorite" Internet writers out there. Why you ask? Because I want to and it will entertain me.

Now on to it.

Recap of Weekend Football Shamford Style:

This weekend the Pats and Giants advanced to the Super Bowl in their thrilling as always fashion. It took the Giants two overtimes, but they finally got it done against the Packers on Saturday night. Eli Manning had the game of his life and Brett Favre in typical fashion threw the game away at the end, after keeping the Pack in it with his arm at the beginning. Brandon Jacobs was the story of the game as he rushed for over 125 yards and just battered the Packers D. Lawrence Tynes went from hero to goat to hero again as he kicked a tying field goal, missed two chances at a game winner, but finally booted a 47 yarder in the second OT.

The Pats handled the Chargers pretty easily on Sunday. Tom Brady had another near perfect game. The Chargers might have had a chance if LDT had played at all, but he wasn't even dressed for the game. The Pats D had little trouble stopping the LDTless Chargers and will continue their quest to 20-0 next Sunday at the Super Bowl in Los Angeles. Word is also coming out that Phillip Rivers had knee surgery just hours before the game....tracking.

5 Things I think I think, Skunkpatch Style:

1. I just recently saw some Extreme Cagefighting on Showtime last night and even though this is the first time I have ever seen it I think that qualifies me as an expert so I will talk about it. The fights were pretty good, very UFC like if you know what I am saying. I really think Tom Brady would dominate the middleweight class.

2. They changed the coffee at work and I just don't like it. Why do they mess with my coffee? Now it is something that comes in an orange can. I am going to make it my mission to get the old coffee back. It was spectacular, just like Tom Brady's Super Bowl career.

3. The Boston Celtics are the real deal folks. Don't let the mini slide fool you. I heard from Tom Brady that he thinks the Celts are going to win it all. And when Tom speaks, you listen.

4. So I was flying around the country as I always do because SI pays me to fly around and interview people and watch games that some people only dream of going and next to me was this guy who fell asleep and was snoring. Can you believe his nerve?? If Tom Brady was there he would not have been snoring.

5. My daughter's basketball team went down in defeat again this weekend. Speaking of going down, I bet their whole team would go down on Tom Brady, I know I would.

NBA quarterly report El Tardo Style:

Celtics, blah blah blah blah blah blah. Celtics blah blah blah blah blah blah. Celtics blah blah blah blah blah blah. Celtics blah blah blah blah blah blah. Celtics blah blah blah blah blah blah. Celtics blah blah blah blah blah blah. Celtics blah blah blah blah blah blah. Celtics blah blah blah blah blah blah. My wife is better than me. I never talk about my dog anymore because he died. I went gambling, my friends are dorks. My dad loves the Pats and Celts. Pats blah blah blah blah blah blah. Pats blah blah blah blah blah blah. I reproduced twice. Jimmy Kimmel is my friend. I am in the writers guild and can't make jokes about fake movies. Celtics, blah blah blah blah blah blah. Celtics blah blah blah blah blah blah. Celtics blah blah blah blah blah blah. Celtics blah blah blah blah blah blah.Celtics, blah blah blah blah blah blah. Celtics blah blah blah blah blah blah. Celtics blah blah blah blah blah blah. Celtics blah blah blah blah blah blah.

Why the Chargers Lost Dork MQ style:

I'll never understand NFL coaches. They always do things that just make absolutely no sense to me. I am some sort of literary scholar so NFL coaches have something to learn about the NFL from me. It's no wonder the Chargers lost this weekend. They didn't stick with what was working! Darren Sproles was averaging 11.3 yards per carry!! Yet Norv Turner only gave him the ball 3 times! If coach Turner had just handed the ball off to Mr. Sproles the Chargers would have gotten a first down on EVERY PLAY! You can't lose if you are getting a first down on EVERY PLAY! You spent most of the game only down 1 score and instead of handing the ball off and keeping the vaunted Mr. Brady and company off the field you went all pass wacky. Here's a tip, when you are averaging 11.3 yards per carry RUN THE BALL!! Well Chargers fans, you are out of the playoffs because Norv just wouldn't stick with what was working.

OK now back to regularly scheduled programming:

NHL Update: Detriot still has the best record, they must be the best team. Go Wings!

Unspeakable addition: Summer Glau. The chick from Firefly and the Terminator TV show. I'd wreck her. Unless she was a robot. Then she would kill me, but it would be worth it. I heard robot boob from the future is very nice.

No movie review, I blew my load on the other stuff. Too bad. Maybe next week you ungrateful bastards. I mean loyal readers. No wait, I meant ungrateful bastards.

Remember Deke is the TCS champion. Congrats to him. Everyone give him a pat on the back, he is both the highest and lowest seed ever to win the TCS.

Now, shoo, go comment. Lurkers, go comment too.

Monday, January 21, 2008

The GEEEEEEE-Men and the Pats

My bowling rock.

The 2 coolest pint glasses ever. I bought them for Deluxe

Sloppy game by NE

Eli out-played Brett.

I have a video from the birthday party at The Dome.

Does it work?

I "won" the TCS. Never saw that coming.


The crime rate in Wisconsin will spike tomorrow(today). It happens with very Packers loss.

I'm waiting on the video upload. I'm just jamming some tunes now. This upload shit takes forever. YouTube, too.

This is taking forfuckingever.

D'Angelo's "I Found My Smile Again" is a really good song.

Seriously, this video shit is a waste of time. Never again.

And of course there was an error uploading my video. Pics only from now on. I hate "technology".

Just go comment.

Friday, January 18, 2008

Cough. Spit. Blow Nose. Repeat.

I'm still sick. Got some Mongolian disease from the N train. Eat shit.

Giants will cover the 7.5
I won't say they will win outright in an effort not to jinx them. Just be prepared if they do. And please just try not to hate.

Chargers cover the 14. Pats haven't covered a damn spread since Miami in wek 15 I think. They must be like 1-5 ATS in the past 6 games. Chargers have better speacial teams and defense. That won't matter though. Brady sold his soul to the devil just like Bruschi did.
Pats 34, Chargers 23

This hasn't sunk in yet but it will be 4 degrees on Sunday in Lambeau.

4 degrees.

That is not home field advantage for Green Bay. Ok? 4 degrees is fucking 4 degrees. Only fucking Polar Bears should be outside when it's 4 degrees. The ball will be like a slick rock, the filed will be hard as ice and you won't feel anything that's exposed. Gloves will not help. The Ice Bowl part 2. Speaking of that a quote from Dan Reeves, starting tailback for the 67 Cowboy's on playing in that infamous Ice Game:

"Dallas running back Dan Reeves told Cowboys coach Tom Landry it was the only time he was hoping not to get a first down so he could get back in front of the sideline heater. "I got hit in the face and my facemask was gone," Reeves told me a few years ago. "I felt to see if any teeth were missing. I went to feel with my tongue and I couldn't get my tongue up there. Two teeth on the left hand side had knocked through my upper lip."

The teeth were actually sticking through his lip. But it was so cold, there was no blood. "When I got my facemask fixed, I stood in front of the heater on the sidelines," Reeves said.

His face thawed out and "blood came pouring out," he said.

Um yeah. 4 degrees. Previous Ice Bowl was 13. The score will be somewhere in the 17-10, 15-9 range. DEFINTELY take the under.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

It happens

It happens every time one of my teams loses a big game.

I purge myself of sports for a while.

Couple years back when the Colts lost the AFC championship to the Pats, I took something like a month long break from sports. Didn't even watch the Super Bowl.

But this year is a little better. It was only the divisional round, and I don't hate the chargers.

It still hurts though. Lots of coulda, woulda and shouldas. Oh well.

It's disappointing, yes, but the Colts won the Super Bowl last year. I can't be too upset.

Now that I've bored you with my neurosis, go comment.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Somethin' brand new for 'dat ass..

I've been out sick the past 2 days, so coupled with the fact that you got a nice healthy couple of posts already this week, you will get nothing today and like it.

It's gotta be this way, kid. Too bad.

Plus, would you really want to hear someone drone on about how retarded and annoying the baseball steroids thing is or hear my erroneous picks for football or college basketball or something? What else is going on lately... I don't even know.. screw it. A big fat ball dip in the general direction of anybody involved with the steroids shee-hawt. And ya know, baseball is the only sport that may have steroid problems...

In other news, Bron is a man, man. Drive home fast, reward yo'self foo.

Somethingsomethingsomething. I gotta get better soon though. I got free tix to the Pistons this Friday (potential of a suite.. still waiting) and some freebies to the Auto Show as well... don't fuck with me, bacteria. I will wreck your ass.

Sports related.

Hot girl link.

NSFW Porn.

Making fun of someone.

It's a wrap.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Where's my mug??

Terror has struck the office this morning as someone took my coffee mug. I don't drink coffee, but I have a mug anyway. I use it for hot chocolate in the morning (it is cold here in Ohio.) Anyway, some IT bastard must have taken my hot chocolate mug and put coffee in it this morning. Now my mug is all alone with some IT guy and is probably getting molested. My mug will never be the same again. What is worse is that I am drinking out of a Key Bank mug now. It makes me feel dirty. I'm a one mug kind of guy. If I ever find out who took my mug they will pay.

Well that concludes the neurotic part of the post. OK, OK, so it doesn't, but I am still going to talk a little sports. Selig goes to Congress today to talk 'roids. Seems like a waste of time. If Selig knows stuff he sure as hell ain't going to say it now. In the past Selig has come off as a clueless bastard. Expect more of the same. If he suddenly pretends to know lots about steroids then that'll just open up thousands of more questions.

Celtics have lost 3 of 4. El Tardo is writing his "is it too soon to panic" article right now. Actually he started it when the Bobcats beat them, but he has accelerated his pace. If the Pats lose to the Bolts then I fully expect to hear about a "Sports Writer" in CA offing himself leaving behind two kids and a wife. I will then seek out said wife to "console" her. If Wedding Crashers taught me anything it is that funerals make chicks horny.

McFadden goes Pro. Laurenitis stays. Most people should have saw these two things from a mile away. Laurenitis isn't as obvious, but he is the superstar here getting mad tail. Linebacker in the NFL ain't the superstar position unless you are LT. And I don't think he is. He ain't black and he doesn't appear to be on cocaine. Also Slaton goes pro. Welcome to the 2nd round kid.

Speaking of movies, OK so maybe that was a paragraph ago, I watched 3:10 to Yuma last night. Good flick. I didn't exactly like the ending though. Didn't really make a whole lot of sense to me. I understood all the "what happeneds" but the "why" was a bit confusing. Anyway, solid flick, go rent it if you want. Or not, IDGAF.

NASCAR half sentence: This year Mark Martin......

NHL Update: Detriot still has the most points, they must still be the best team.

Unspeakable addition: Christa Miller. She is on Scrubs and was on the Drew Carey Show. Something about her drives me nuts.

So I watched some of that Terminator TV show. Seems good. I will keep watching in hopes that it doesn't get cancelled. Generally speaking any show that I get into gets cancelled. Or at the very least they put it on random days so I miss it all the time. Usually it is FOX that does this shit to me. Terminator show is on FOX. Worst part is that I have to watch the same American Idol commercial 100 times.

Time to review a movie I have never seen: 27 Dresses

Fmtem is watching this one this Friday with some of her girl friends. It is about that chick from Knocked Up who is always a bridesmaid. She keeps all 27 of her bridesmaid dresses and then when she gets married she makes 27 chicks wear them and be her bridesmaid. The groom gets 27 pals and it is the biggest wedding ever. All the bastards walking in is a solid 30 minutes of the movie. Anyway, 27 bridesmaids all in different ugly dresses that they made the bride wear before. Hilarity ensues and there is an orgy at the end. Oddly enough the movie is very Anti-Semitic. Also there is a hamster, but I don't get its purpose.

I recommend waiting for the Unrated Director's Cut DVD and just fast forwarding to the orgy scene at the end.

1.5 helmet stickers. Would have been 0, but there is an orgy.

Monday, January 14, 2008

Too Many Motha_uckas _uckin' with my __it!

A few pics. My joint. The fish tank. Pep. The Rivoli. The Chocolate Factory. The Cedar Dome.

Part two will come next week.


Pack/Geeeeeeeeeeeee Men

I was hoping for that purp tonight. Didn't happen. Maybe Tuesday.

Pops got himself the same camera he got me, and it works perfectly for him. I'm seriously cursed. My life sucks.

SB: Pats 56. Pack 42

The new Rock Of Love is awful.

So, I'm thinking I'm really gonna get involved with a local boxing club. I realize I'm too old at 26 to really be anything in the ring, but I have the need/desire to trade hands with others to wake myself the fuck up. I'm not kidding. Boxing has always been a passion of mine. I'm too good of an athlete to waste my life.

I've never really chased any of my dreams, may it have been a career in the golf world, playing any level of college basketball, singing, or pitching. I'm tired of being told I don't have a future. I'm sick and tired of leading a worthless life. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. Something needs to be done, and it needs to be done on my own fucking terms. It seems that fighting is the only thing I have left, since I'm too poor to pursue a life in the world of golf. Ya gotta have money to make money, know what I mean?

So this is it. I'm gonna go check out the local boxing clubs, and see what one fits my eye.

You can't hit what you can't see...Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee...Rumble, young man, rumble.

Friday, January 11, 2008


Colts -8.5 over Chargers
23-0 at the half. 6 Int's. Remember that? And Vinateri missed a FG that would have won it for the Colts despite all that. This game will be close for about 2 minutes. The coin toss. Colts roll 42-20. Tony Ugoh, Dallas Clark, Marvin Harrison, Anthony Gonzalez, Freddy Keiaho, Tyjuan Hagler, Raheem Brock and Charlie Johnson were all out in that game. All except Marvin are certain to play. Lock it up.

Green Bay -8.5 over Seattle
I was leary about laying almost 9 here but realized the Packers do two things exceptionally well. Run the football and play excellent defense. So since they are home, Lambeau, I can see why they are laying almost 9 to a team that comes in hot. Pick six, punt return, fumble recovery. Those three things were the sole reasons the Hawks rolled 35-14 last week. None of those things will happen in Lambeau. Pack advance, 24-10.
P.S. - GB are 13-4-2 ATS in their last 19 vs. NFC

Giants +7.5 over Cowboys
I won't get into to a rah-rah speech here. Bottom line the Giants are playing well and the Cowboys are not. 27-24 GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGmen.

Jax+13.5 over Pats
Fierce running game. Physical cover corners. Stout front 4. I tried all week to understand why this line was so big. I just could not figure it out. Will the Pats use a spread offense? That was the ony thing I can think of. If they go 4 wide or 5 wide it'll be hard for jax to blitz the Stetson man because he'd just dump it off to the Hot Read. But with TOP hanging in the balance I think the Jags have enough fight in them to give NE a real scare. NE advances but bettors cash in on the line. 29-24

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Be Lazy

VideoJug: How To Be Lazy In The Office And Get Away With It

And no, this next item doesn't really have anything to do with being lazy, but it needed to be shown anyway.

I believe ep and iam are contesting tcs today. watch out.

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

New Post

Little to no effort today. I blame it on no one reading the posts due to the happenings around here.

Bottomline told me that someone has had 3 straight triple-doubles. I think it was J-Kidd. Either that or LeBron, fo sho.

Although it might've been Kobe, as he wants traded and is showcasing his team-building skills (s).

Get back to TCS and dont read this. We'll be back to regularly scheduled programming soon (I hope).

Tuesday, January 08, 2008


Keith, after suffering through OSU's 3rd straight national title defeat spent some time writing up a guest post. Feel free to mock him.

Fuck Todd Boeckman!
Fuck OSU’s play calling! You run for 100 yds in the 1st quarter and all of a sudden you put the game in Boeckman’s hand? WFT Sweater Vest??
Fuck that guy for roughing the kicker when you had both arms and legs wrapped around the kick, yet couldn’t touch it!
Fuck Thom Brennaman! He’s an awful football announcer. How many times in the first half did you need to tell us that Steltz was still in the locker room? Stick to baseball you raging homo!
Fuck Ryan Pretorius! Try getting some air under your kicks so it doesn’t get blocked by someone whose hand is head high.
Fuck the SEC! We get it, you’re fast. Christ, there’s lots of black people in the south. They’re faster than white people. It’s physics or something.
Fuck Les Miles! Did you know he went to Michigan? I heard that tonight.
Fuck LSU’s fans! We get it, you can spell Tigers. Congrats, you’re all really smrt. You’re all probably related, too, you inbred motherfuckers!
Fuck being the #1 team playing for the BCS title! Apparently it’s a curse.
Fuck those who says that OSU didn’t belong! It’s pretty easy to say that after they get their ass kicked.
Fuck New Orleans! Katrina should have wiped you off the map.
Fuck Jumper! Sweet, people can teleport anywhere they want. I’m sure nobody will go watch that. Thanks for spending $1 billion on advertising.
Seriously, Fuck Todd Boeckman! I hate that guy.
Fuck my gf! She single-handedly ruined this year’s game. There will be retribution.
Fuck Michigan! Just because. Good luck with Rich Rod.
Fuck WVU! They made it so I couldn’t give my Fiesta Bowl tickets away. Thanks, you inbred motherfuckers!
Fuck cumfast! Again, just because. Expect to see him today. Yeah, my team lost, but at least my girl doesn’t need to shave her face!
Fuck everyone who says to me today, “What happened to OSU?” You will get nothing from me except a GFY look!
Fuck Chris Myers! You used to be relevant. Now you’re a sideline reporter. You’re no different than Lisa Salters, except you have smaller shoulders.
Fuck Jamarcus Russell! I didn’t understand one thing you said at halftime.
Fuck Glenn Dorsey! I didn’t understand one thing you said after the game.
Fuck FOX! You are horrible covering NCAA football. Can you show a replay every now and then? Throw me a fucking bone.
Fuck American Idol! I don’t need a reason.
Fuck MSNBC! Actual front page headlines this evening. “'Satanists' burned churches, police say”. Really, who’da thunk it? And, “Unpopular girls gain more weight, study says”. Wow, you think maybe that’s why they’re unpopular? That just cost $5 million, thanks.
Last, but not least……
Fuck Todd Boeckman! I hope Terrelle Pryor commits to OSU and comes in next year and wipes the floor with your slow, weak armed, white ass. You’re 23 years old, and you’re a junior. I'm sure it's fun being 23 and fucking every hot freshman ho, but you're fucking up my team. Go! Git! Scram!

Have a nice day.

Monday, January 07, 2008

A tradition unlike any other...

1st Masters commercial. Sweet.

Hats off the Giants. They fuckin' whooped Tampa. Didn't see that coming. Eli got the job done.

I just bought Appetite For Destruction. Some fucknob stole it from me like 5-6 years ago.

San Diego looks like they have it well in hand. Good God, Tennessee is bad bad bad.

I just remembered-- TCS is all week. I had a nice run. Can't burn the midnight oil like that again.

I have determined that the little camera I got is a POS. I can't do anything but still photos with it. Foul.

I think this is how I'll format my posts. Staccato.

I just realized that I could win the TCS if I really try. I really don't want to try.


I got a new cork board. I'm bored as fuck. Might take a stroll.

I'm going for a walk. Maybe I'll have some pics of my town to post.

Well, that walk I just went on was completely useless. My camera is an apparent piece of shit. None of my pictures turned out. All I gained was more drunkenness, so I guess it wasn't a total loss.

Do you smoke grass out in space, Bowie? Or do they smoke astro turf?

I'm really unhappy with my camera situation. Seriously. What good is that thing?

Whatever. I'm getting tired. This Gatorade is tasty.

Okay, fuck it. This is the end of a really shitty post.

LSU 31

don't quote me on that though.

Saturday, January 05, 2008


Just to get that damn beast off the top.

Keith was a warrior last night. I need to see the tally.


EP 940
tem 939

Blue 843
Freak 992

jug 1170
FH 1200

Deke 1638
keith 1529

The end of the TCS line

It's the end of Round 2.

Act accordingly.

Friday, January 04, 2008

The biggest hit of all time

smells like poo


Evil rocks.

flat tires suck

Nothing like playoff football.

Shit is sweet like bear meat.

Onto to it.

Skins +4 over SEATTLE. (score 24-21)
Close, close game. Tied at half time, three lead changes, tired players. Good game. Hasselback makes a throw late to Engram that seals it. It's hard to bet against the Skins right now (*puke*). They are playing inspired and hard. They fought to make it into the playoffs the old fashioned way and are playing with house money. But Seattle is hot, and hotter at home.

STILLERS +3 over Jax (score 17-16)
Footnote. Just a hunch here. Jax has owned Pitt as of late winning three straight. And they did look impressive down the stretch going 3-1 with the loss coming when they rested guys vs Houston last week. Stillers haven't played too well in awhile but I just have this gumption that they will find a way at home to pull it out. I would take the under here as well.

Giants +3 over TAMPA (score 24-10)
Not even debateable. By the time the Bucs realize they are playing a football game the Giants will be on the jet headed back to NY to prepare for Dallas. How could you rest your guys two weeks in a row? Not one but two? Gonna bite them in the ass I'm telling you.

Titans +10 over SAN DIEGO (20-16)
Chargers win but not by much. Jeff Fisher knows playoffs. This team will be ready and will play hard, real hard. Hopefully Kerry Collins plays because he clearly is the better QB for this team for this game. And this game is now. Not next year but now. I'll always like Collins from the Giant days.

Movie Quote (easy one) :
"If you ladies leave my island, if you survive recruit training, you will be a weapon. You will be a minister of death praying for war. But until that day you are pukes. You are the lowest form of life on Earth. You are not even human, fucking beings. You are nothing but unorganized grabastic pieces of amphibian shit. Because I am hard you will not like me. But the more you hate me the more you will learn. I am hard but I am fair. There is no racial bigotry here. I do not look down on niggers, kikes, wops or greasers. Here you are all equally worthless. And my orders are to weed out all non-hackers who do not pack the gear to serve in my beloved Corps. Do you maggots understand that?"

Thursday, January 03, 2008

Another words

VideoJug: How To Give A Great Man To Man Hug

A post...without words

A with words.

WVU took Oklahoma out behind the woodshed and gave 'em an old fashioned beating.

You could tell they were all pissed at ramrod. I just hope WVU plays UM in the very near future so some of the kids he left could go play against him.

Noel Divine > Steve Slaton. Tem will back me up on this.

Crazy clip of a rally racer

My picks for this sunday (cause you all care so much).

Giants over Tampa
Redskins over Seattle
Tennessee over Whale's Vagina
Jacksonville over Whoresville

3 teams from both the AFC South and the NFC East will be in the second round.

In the biggest surprise of the year category, Adrian Peterson was named the Offensive Rookie of the Year. (/end shock)

Something for Deke:

TCS Round 2, Day 2.


Wednesday, January 02, 2008

TCS Extra Post

Freak is making a game of it with Blue.

WVU game is about to start. Tem is going to comment alot.

Click "comments" if you dare.

The day after The Day After

Oh yeah.. Wednesday means I'm up. Son of bitch.

I got here late and just remembered I had to slop something up. So... uh, Michigan won. Florida can lick balls. Give back the Heisman. The college foosball world has a Tebow-ner. It was pretty bad all day yesterday (up until they, ya know, lost). Musburger also had a massive USC hard-on as well. If I remember correctly, he referred to them as "basically a pro franchise".

Brent, sweetie, you got a little on your chin. I wouldn't mention it, but the camera picks it up...

If you have been blinded by the east coast Celtics bias, just know that the Pistons are routinely blowing teams out nowadays. Some scores might look relatively close on paper, but trust me, most of these games are laughers. As a fan of the team that's awesome, but then it also sucks ass. Cause I'll turn the game on in the beginning of the 3rd and they're already up like 17 or 25 or some shit. Sweet.. I guess.

We're done here. Do yo thang, dirty.

GO BLUE! We won... nothing!!

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

Happy New Year!

And yes, I did use the highly original title that I thought of last week. It makes me dependable to use it, because I said I would. Which is funny because yesterday instead of coming home and meeting fmtem for dinner I got drunk with a coworker. Then I lied about it, but was too drunk to lie very well. I think I got in minor trouble, but what are you going to do? It's a new year now, so I can say I haven't done anything like that since last year. (which fmtem says I can also use as my excuse for calling off our wedding.)

So the new year at LOV means it is time to raise our game. I think we can elevate this place to D+. Maybe just a solid D. The days of D- are so yesterday. I don't have the slightest clue how to accomplish this. I am hoping that grade inflation takes care of it for us.

Better throw in some column staples now:

NASCAR half sentence .......starts in about 8 weeks.

Unspeakable addition: The chick from Hot Shots assuming she still looks as good. I watched that some on sunday. That movie does not hold up as well as Hot Shots 2, but the chick is still hot.

NHL Update: Detroit still has the most points, they must be the best.

Well what is a New Year's column without some resolutions?? We are going to find out because I am not going to list any. I thought about it, but other than watching El Pad's top 50 movies all the rest are crap like lose weight and crap like that. I don't want to post such a list.

OK, about time to wrap this up. Not a great start to the New Year really column wise, but that just means it can only get better.

Anyway, I hope everyone had a safe and happy New Year's Eve and I hope that this New Year is good for everyone. Unless I hate you, then I hope it isn't too good.

Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"

"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem

"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug

"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino

"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H

"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino

"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino