Monday, December 31, 2007

The Lonely Bull

I seriously have nothing going today. Why do they call it taking a dump, when you're actually leaving it?(I stole that from Beavis & Butthead)

It's New Year's Eve. I'll be staying home most likely. Never done that before. I'm sure TP's been staying home on NYE since he was 40.

Another weekend of football gone, another small
fortune lost by EP. Get that pole warmed up, she's gonna need it.

I've lost a lot of interest in the NBA season already. Fantasy is the only thing that makes me care.

Oooh. For those of you embarking on The Great Lordz Of Vengeance Fantasy Golf Experiment, you need to get your selections in on Wednesday, I believe.

My insides hurt. Maybe its all in my head. I'm exhausted now.

I like Japanese girls.

16-0
14-2
13-3
12-4
11-5
10-6

Not much time till pitchers & catchers.

I'm quitting smoking. Squares go up 1.25 a pack on Jan 1st. No thanks.

Friday, December 28, 2007

It's 9:05 AM, do you know where Rev's bacon is?

What a college football season this has been. Anyone want to be a #2?
Didn't think so. Emergence of the Mangino's, Brian Kelley's squad made Nick Lachey happy, rich Rod spurns his alma mater, Michigan shits the bed in the first game of the year and Stanford, fucking Stanford were 40 point underdogs in Southern Cal and won....OUTRIGHT.

Nuts, and that wasn't all. The BCS bowls games below.
My overall record I will tally up and add to the post later. Crunched for time. EOY is hectic in this business.

Rose Bowl brought to you by Rose from the "Golden Girls"
So Cal -13.5 over Zookers
I mean come on. Zook can recruit. But not coach. USC's defense is fast enough to cover the Juice and his shenanigans. Something Ohio State couldn't do.

Sugar Bowl brought to you by the sweet nectar of vagina
Hawaii +7.5 over Dawgs
I mean cone on. Anytime you spot a potent offense a TD you know your a heavy favorite. I first expected this line to be around 3 or 4. But 7? That's crazy talk. Hawaii is sick and tired of hearing shit about their schedule. They will play the game of thier lives. Memories of Boise St. / Oklahoma of last year. Which ended up as the best college football game of the YEAR.

Fiesta Bowl brought to you by Corona
Oklahoma -7.5 over WVU
I mean cmon. How deflated is WVU after the Rich Rod deal? This has to play a part. Has to. That and the Sooners can D. I expect a Pat White injury and a blowout when it's all said and done. So sad.

Orange Bowl brought to you by Tang
Va Tech -3.5 over the Mangino's
I mean cmon. I understand Kansas had a great year but Va Tech's defense and speacial teams is light years ahead of Kansas's. This might get ugly. Maybe I'm disrespecting Kansas and I don't mean to, they had a phenominal year, but I think they are over thier head a bit.

Movie quote of the day (from my list, same list Tem picks from):
"From now on, nothing goes down unless I'm involved. No blackjack no dope deals, no nothing. A nickel bag gets sold in the park, I want in. You guys got fat while everybody starved on the street. Now it's my turn."

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Merry Christmas

How's that for an original title? Next week I might use Happy New Year! Stay tuned to find out. That's right, stay tuned all week.

Let me say this now. Sorry for jinxing your $$$ league team Blue. Henry + Gates apparently was not better than SD Defense +3. Oops.

NASCAR half Sentence: Can you believe that the Daytona 500....

NHL update: Detroit still has the most points, so they must be the best team. Go Wings!

College Football Update: 5 Michigan State guys are sitting out. Sounds like 2 of them are good. Adjust your picks accordingly.

Unspeakable List Additions. Elizabeth Banks. If anyone has some nekkid shots of her, posting them would be a good Christmas gift. If I had some I would post them. Really I would.

So WVU's basketball team is ranked in the top 25 and doing pretty well. If they weren't doing well all hell would have broken lose in Morgantown. Sucky basketball team + football coach leaving = more burning couches than ever seen before. Speaking of WVU football I think I have come to the conclusion that RR is a douche, but so are the boosters and so is the AD. It kind of sucks to learn this, but really most rich people are douches so the boosters being douches doesn't shock me one bit. I have never met a non-professor in higher education that wasn't a borderline retard so the AD being a douche isn't shocking. The shocking part is RR being a douche. A homegrown Mountaineer, good story, turns out to be a douche. I guess that's what big time anything does to you. Forget your roots, fuck everyone else but yourself, that's the motto of people who have stuff. I guess there is a lesson in there.

Time for a tem movie review. Now for all you new folks reading this, this a movie review of a movie I have never seen. I am going with #66 on El Pad's of great movies. Falling Down.

Falling Down is a real life inspired story about the lady who invented the "I've fallen and can't get up" devices. It stars Betty White as that lady and she turns in one of the best performances of her career. Take her Golden Girls quality and triple it, at least. It is a tour de force for her. I am not sure whether or not she won any awards for it, but she should have. I was almost in tears when she fell the first time and didn't have the device. See, she has a douchebag son played by Fred Savage who really just wants her to die so he can inherit her coin collection. I am pretty sure that is a common real life scenario. Anyway, early in the movie Betty falls, but douchebag (douche and variations of it is the word of the day) son wouldn't help her. Finally a neighbor played by Don Knotts (who coincidentally is banging Betty, which is by far the worst sex scene in all of movie history) comes to the rescue. But Betty goes into a coma and Fred is happy. He tries to swim through the coins Scrooge McDuck style, but it really doesn't work. Then Betty comes out of the coma, invents the device and has sex with Don Knotts again.

4 helmet stickers out of 5. Would be 5 of 5 if there wasn't full frontal of B. White and D. Knotts.


There we have it, another D- post. If you read it, well sorry.

OK, I think it is safe to say that everyone at LOV wishes everyone out there who doesn't suck or isn't a douchebag a safe and happy holliday.

Merry Christmas bee snatches.

Monday, December 24, 2007

Crocodile on my feet, fox fur on my back, bow tie 'round my neck...

That's why they call me the gangsta mack in da Cadillac.


I'm not too sure where I should go to get the ball rolling. Expect a lot of fragments as opposed to complete sentences.
So far, I got a nice deep-fryer for christmas.

It looks like Blue has me in the Keeper Championship, although I'm not sure if it's over or not.

The Grim continues to dominate the FNBA league.


Beth's Bowl Pick 'Em lead was short lived.

I had my first taste of Guitar Hero tonight. I'm going to buy that shit, and destroy my cousin. I promised him that for his birthday. Problem is, I need to play the standard guitar controller cross-handed. So, if I actually get the guitar, I may have to hacksaw it apart and play with it as 2 completely separate pieces. I need to use my right hand on the "frets" and my left on the strumming/whammy side.

I'm not going to talk about College FB, as you all may or may not have assumed.

I'm not really prepared for this post, as I've been overwhelmed with work and still have to work on Monday.

I stated on the Sunday thread that I may or may not do a weekly Fantasy update. I'm leaning towards not.

I don't know how Tem and Iam put together nice-sized posts on a weekly basis. That may very well be related to attendance of college, since you need to BS your way through reports and papers and shit like that. I'll work on it, I swear.

As I look at this as I type it, I realize how terribly short it is. I guess I might put down random thoughts as the week goes on, and save them as a draft. Then again, maybe not. This is my little forum, and I'll do what I want with it. I'll do my best not to bore everybody with my local sports teams, since nobody else give too much of a shit about Milwaukee. But don't get it twisted, when pitchers and catchers report in fortysome days, there will be plenty of Brewers talk in this little space. Don't blame me, blame EP, TP, The Weasel, Rev, Blue, Tyler, and especially Freak. I guess you could throw Tem in there, even though I'm not convinced he really gives a shit about the Pirates.

That's all I've got for the moment. I'm sure it'll come easier as I grow more accustomed to the routine.


Hi, Bill.



Fuck off, Shamford. Burn, baby, burn.



R.I.P. MVN, EB, MOV, Champ



Keep it real, CEO WC.

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Happy Sunday...

Someone has to post something right about now. For two reasons.

One... it's easier than having to reload a page over and over again with over 600 comments.

Two... when a major contributor decides to up and leave, someone ought to say something, Might as well be me.

Honestly, I wish Zeke hadn't pulled his name from the contributor list after the TCS was over. I will miss him being around if he really has decided to up and leave for good. And if he reads this, I'll say right here that I hope he decides to at least comment on a regular basis again. He added a lot to this blog, I think we will all agree.

But... at the same time, he made his decision. He pulled his name out of contributor status abruptly. He said goodbye. Once that happens, we have to make the decision to act.

Meiz... the invite is in your e-mail box. Feel free to accept and start posting on Monday. You have earned it for sure.

And everyone who is currently contributing now has admin status. Should have done that before, but better late than never. When Meiz accepts, he won't have it right away. But any one of the contributors can change him to admin status. If I don't get to it, one of you feel free to hook Meiz up. And if any changes need to be made, any one of you can handle it.

One of the strengths of LOV has been that if someone has to step away, someone else fills the vacuum very quickly. It happened when I went into semi-retirement. And it will happen here.

Because LOV was built on the strength of all of you combined. Not some self-absorbent former ESPN page 2 writer who wants the comments section to go the way he wants it to, first amendment be damned. Lord knows I've probably disagreed with 50-60% of what is said in these comments because I'm a flaming, do-gooder, bleeding-heart, tree-hugging, commie, left-winger, liberal pinko. But I will always defend your right to say what you say no matter how D- it is. And I will defend my right to call you an idiot, and for you to call me a jackass for saying it. It's what makes this blog great.

(And for the record, "self-absorbent former ESPN page 2 writer" applies to more than one person out there, just so that one of them doesn't think I'm talking all about him and get all giddy that we're paying attention to him alone.)

All of you are what makes this blog what it is. And without you, this place is just a dead space. So when one leaves, I know all of you will continue without him.

We may not be the biggest blog out there. We may never be. But when you have a group who comes back over and over again because they're enjoying what's going on, and when you have people who go away for a while but for whatever reason get drawn back to hang with us again, you've got something pretty good.

And I do have a feeling Zeke will be one of those guys who will be drawn back at some point. Just my hunch. But that is up to him.

Now that I've said what I need to say, I will now fall back on the founding principles of LOV, and say one last thing.

Zeke... you're such a bitch!

Friday, December 21, 2007

Bowl Cut Part Trois.

Umm whatever.

bowl cuts pt deux

Read my post you ungrateful bastards.

Bowl Cut

Remember the Bowl cuts? Take a bowl, place it over your head, shave around it. People or kids actually rocked that. Wow. Well this is not going to be anything like that. If you like college football this is what you need right now. A complete Bettors guide to this year's slate of Bowl games. Only on the best sports blog running.

R+L Carriers New Orleans Bowl brough to you feces
FAU -3 over Memphis - Memphis "D" is " ". Meaning not there, kind of like Irk Nowitzski. Get it? FAU and Memphis can score but FAU will get more stops.

Papajohns.com Bowl, brought to you by bad pizza
Cincy -11 over Southern Miss
Brian Kelly will be auditioning for another job with this blow out. Cincy had thier best year yet. Blowout alert.

New Mexico Bowl brought to you by Pemican Beef Jerky
Nevada +3 over New Mexico
Becasue the RB is out. Nothing more nothing less.

Pioneer Las Vegas Bowl brought to you by fake titties
BYU -6 over UCLA
BYU will exact revenge for a 22-17 loss to UCLA in week 2 of this season. BYU riding a 9 game win streak.

Hawaii Bowl brought to you by Spiff
Boise St. -11 over East Carolina
Bad draw for East Carolina. Take the over here too.

Motor City Bowl brought to you by murder
Central Michigan +9.5 over Purdue
I love the Chippewas in bowl games. I like typing and saying Chippewas. Chippewas stay competitive and might pull out a win. Purdue has a three bowl losing streak.

Pacific Life Holiday Bowl brought to you by Mack Brown's shortcomings
ASU +1.5 over Texas
Erickson > Mack Brown. Texas gives up some nice yards vs the pass. This game will be close but ASU will win the 4th quarter.

Champs Sports Bowl brought to you by 5 for $20 crappy t-shirts
BC -3.5 over Michigan State
PFP I think BC is just a better team. They tackle well, fly to the ball and Calender is a veteran. Matt Ryan whilst not a Heisman level QB, will be showing that arm off for the Pro Scouts too.

Texas Bowl brought to you by fat people
TCU -4 over Houston
Disappointing year for the Horned Frogs. I think they will take it out on this coachless Houston team. Although the RB for Houston is a sleeper stud. Irregardless TCU will win.

Emerald Bowl brought to you by the great and powerful Oz
Oregon St. -5.5 over Maryland
Going out to the west coast really favors the Beavers here. Maryland beat two top ten teams this year but had 6 losses. Which team will show?

Meineke Car Care Bowl brought to you by grease monkey's
Wake -3 over Uconn
I know UCONN had a strong, impressive year. But I have to take Riley Skinner to step up and make that one play that wins his team the game. Take the under in this one. Both defenses are solid.

Autozone Liberty Bowl brought to you by the Tem's Elantra
Miss St. +3.5 over UCF
Croom should be SEC coach of the year and it shows during this game in which he bottles up the nations leading rusher (Kevin Smith) and a very good C-USA offense.

Valero Alamo Bowl brought to you by high gas prices
Penn State -6 over Texas A&M
Maybe Joe Pa will call a play in this one. Who knows. The Nittany Lions are a far more superior team here.

Petrosun Independence Bowl brought to you by Nick Saban's shennanigans
Bama -4 over Colorado
I can't trust the Buffs here. Saban that sumbitch underacheived the last part of the season but he still can coach a football team. And scheming for over a month gives his Crimson Tide a good shot.

Bell Helicopter Armed Forces Bowl brought to you by Osama Bin Laden
Air Force +4 over Cal
Cal started 5-0. They are 6-6. Dejection has set in.

Roady's Humanitarian Bowl brought to you by Sally Struthers
Fresno +6.5 over Ga Tech
When in doubt take the points. That and Fresno has played on the blue turf before. Has to help a little bit.

Sun Bowl brought to you by the Sun (duh)
South Florida -7 over Oregon
The Bulls are going to eat Leaf alive. Poor Oregon, Dixon going down was the absolute worst case scenario.

Gaylord Hotels Music City Bowl brought to you by Gaylord Focker
Kentucky (off the board) over FSU
No line yet. Opened at 1.5 before FSU got suspended for cheating on thier current events.

Insight Bowl brought to you by Cliff Notes
Indiana +5 over Ok State
The Hoosiers will continue there great year with this bowl win. Haven't been to a bowl in 14 years. Ok State gives up a ton of points. Take the over.

Chik-Fil-A Bowl brought to you by the Waffle Fry
Auburn +3 over Clemson
Shocked at the line. Think Auburn is better, that defense woofs and creates havoc. Cox doesn't turn the ball over and can make any throw on the field.

Outback Bowl brought to you by a 22oz Porterhouse Steak
Sconsin +3 over Tennessee
Vols never really blew up on anyone and those sconnies, if you let them hang around they'll bite you in the ass. Tyler Donovan is a tough kid too. I like the Badgers.

AT&T Cotton Bowl brought to you by Q-Tips
Missouri -3.5 over Arkansas
Misery will throttle the razorbacks. 3td win for sure. They have to prove to the nation this was no fluke year. Chase Daniels will shine. McFadden will get his but it wont be enough.

Capital One Bowl brough to you by What's In Your Wallet
Michigan +10.5 over Florida
I understand Florida is a better team but you best believe that these players will play their hearts out for Carr. They really love the guy and Florida's defense was not good this year. Hart, Manningham will be all over the place. Maybe even Rich Rod will throw a play or two in there, who knows?

Konica Gator Bowl brought to you by Steve Irwin
Virginia +6 over Texas Tech
Can Al Groh stop one of the most prolific passing game in the cuntry? Chris Long will be in Harrell's face all day. At least Groh can sleep on the run.

International Bowl brought to you by immigrants
Rutgers -10 over Ball St.
Scarlett Knights had a bad year as far as the expectations were. But coach Schiano can motivate a retard so I expect them to be jacked up for this. Ray Rice is a poor man's Mike Hart. He'll have a huge game.

GMAC Bowl brought to you by no one gives a shit
Tulsa -5 over Bowling Green
Just take the over. Both teams score at will. Paul Smith can wing it.

BCS Bowls will be capped next Friday.

As far as the Pros go I like:
Dallas to get back on track and roll on Carolina. They are minus 11.
The Packers finish off the Bears, they are -9.
New Orleans -3 over Philly who shot thier defensive load last week.
New England should cover the 22 over Miami.

That is all.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

TCS edition 4

This post is to quell zeke's bitching.

TCS opening day: Edition 3

Update, around 5:25 EST:

zeke 303, iam 448
tp 486, jug 465
ep 310, mills 232
tem 203, kod 27
deke 75, tyler 42
keef 158, cummy 235
freak 291, spiff 225
blue 226, beth 101

TCS now (4:50 EST):

zeke 301, iam 394
tp 448, jug 465
ep 224, mills 198
tem 182, kod 11
deke 70, tyler 42
keef 156, cummy 199
freak 280, spiff 163
blue 218, beth 101


TCS update tem version, 4 EST:

zeke 298, iam 347
tp 360, jug 465
ep 143, mills 198
tem 149, kod 0
deke 61, tyler 35
keef 145, cummy 158
freak 249, spiff 150
blue 198, beth 101

The MADNESS, continued

TCS update tem version, 4 EST:

zeke 298, iam 347
tp 360, jug 465
ep 143, mills 198
tem 149, kod 0
deke 61, tyler 35
keef 145, cummy 158
freak 249, spiff 150
blue 198, beth 101

TCS Scoreboard as of 3EST

zeke 297 Iam 308
Blue 160 Beth 101
Keith 108 cumfast 159
tem 139 Kod 0
EP 109 weazy 193
deke 51 Tyler 35
freak 217 spiff 142
TP 356 Jug 384

20 at 20 spreads:

zeke +18
tp -76
ep -44
tem +117
deke +24
keef -3
freak +56
blue +26

AFTER "1st QTR" which is in no way actually 1QTR because that is more like 5pm today, but WGAF. As of 1:55 EST

Anyway:

zeke 220
iam 222

tp 237
jug 294

ep 102
mills 124

tem 99
kod 0

deke 40
tyler 4

keef 109
cummy 112

freak 172
spiff 143

blue 125
beth 99

This is far much more MADNESS then what should be allowable by law.

Okay, let's recap the first round matchups and the EP set lines.

1 Zeke (-41) vs 16 IAM
8 TP (+7) vs 9 Jug
5 EP (-55) vs 12 Weasel
4 Tem (-67) vs 13 Kod
6 Deke (-11) vs 11 Tyler
3 Keith (-81) vs 14 Crummy
7 Freak (off) vs 10 Spiff
2 Blue (-124) vs 15 Beth

Zeke says he's busy the next few days, but his dominance over the year is apparent, you have to go with him.

I think you have to take Jug at -7. TP has just been eaten whole by the TPS monster.

Take EP, Tem, Keith and Blue to cover easy. Frankly folks, their opposition is not up to snuff. Even as hu-uge favorites, they will get it done.

The TDiLoVH has been missing because Tyler has been working a lot. I don't expect this to change. You're gonna see more "I've got nothing" comments from Deke than usual, but picking Deke to cover is an easy call.

Spiff is ninja-like with his links, but I'm not sure he can match Freak's LoVAD prowess. It could be interesting, going into Friday night, as both are prone to late nights. This could come down to the wire, but go ahead and take Freak.

Let the MADNESS begin!!!

Honestly, I am so excited for the TCS competition. This is like the opening weekend of March Madness. Routinely the best sports weekend of the year.

Bowl game today! Utah vs. Navy. I'm taking Navy at +8.5. I'd pick 'em straight up. I know, I know, they lost their coach, but Utah has lost every game they've given up more than 135 yards rushing. And with that triple option Navy is guaranteed to get at least 275+ on the ground (they average 351).

There are only 10 people in the Bowl pick 'em? What's up with that?
Group #: 3033
password: tits
Join, you hoes. I'm looking at you EP, Kod, Tyler, Rev, Jug.


Okay, let's recap the first round matchups and the EP set lines.

1 Zeke (-41) vs 16 IAM
8 TP (+7) vs 9 Jug
5 EP (-55) vs 12 Weasel
4 Tem (-67) vs 13 Kod
6 Deke (-11) vs 11 Tyler
3 Keith (-81) vs 14 Crummy
7 Freak (off) vs 10 Spiff
2 Blue (-124) vs 15 Beth

Zeke says he's busy the next few days, but his dominance over the year is apparent, you have to go with him.

I think you have to take Jug at -7. TP has just been eaten whole by the TPS monster.

Take EP, Tem, Keith and Blue to cover easy. Frankly folks, their opposition is not up to snuff. Even as hu-uge favorites, they will get it done.

The TDiLoVH has been missing because Tyler has been working a lot. I don't expect this to change. You're gonna see more "I've got nothing" comments from Deke than usual, but picking Deke to cover is an easy call.

Spiff is ninja-like with his links, but I'm not sure he can match Freak's LoVAD prowess. It could be interesting, going into Friday night, as both are prone to late nights. This could come down to the wire, but go ahead and take Freak.

I'm spent from all this writing.



Let the MADNESS begin!!!

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

I had a really quirky title... 2 days ago

And I forgot it.

Pistons and C's tonight. Tune in mofo's. Best shit in the East in on display 2-niz-ight. I may or may not watch. I might be doing some other shit (ns). I'll try to make "other shit" include swinging by a pub with sports entertainment on broadcast television, but we will have to see.

Clemens is talking mess about how he didn't take it the seat cheek. Roger, you're what.. 45? You've been humming along these last few years like you're 18. Plus, you're the pitching equivalent of Barry. We don't need you to treat us like we're complete idiots. We can tell. We get it. Notice that we still paid really good ass money to pack out stadiums to see you guys though? Stop with the BS. We like our atheletes to be crazy physical specimens no matter how they get there. We like our drugs, we like our sports. You're telling me that if American Gladiators comes on ESPN Classic, you're not watching it for at least one episode? I rest my case. F*ck it. Everybody should just be allowed to cheat. You know like half the guys in the leagues are on shit anyway, who are we fooling? They're just on the crap that isn't tested for or is ahead of the curve and is undetectable. And the only reason these rules are in place is so the commissioners can feign shock and disbelief and play dumb that anyone would use enhancement substances and they won't be culpable. Although nowadays, it's on the books for media purposes and for legal purposes. "Media purposes" meaning that they don't want to have their name branded in the history books of our sports. Take the money, don't take the blame. Stay away from infamy. I guess I can respect that. Hell, it's the American Way! Of course we all know it's all for show. I hate show. I hate the dance, I hate the fake politician-smiles that come with it, I hate watching affaleets DENOUNCE THESE ACCUSATIONS!!... and then 6 months later come back and say "ok ya know what, I was scurred.. I lied, I so sorry...". Everybody in this world realizes that hard work gets you absolute shit and it doesn't really pay off. There is no way some human being is gonna be able to outrun a cheetah or a zorse by just hitting some weights and ordering one of those "training parachutes" from Eastbay. Maybe get some hot cross-trainers or something.. then that'll help it though. But we like it that way. And we repeatedly tell you this by using our cash mooooooney.

In a sidenote to this.. there was an article in the local paper that the Red Wings are finally supposed to be dropping ticket prices for playoff games. They used to jack em up like 4 times the amount of regular season games. The only reason they're changing.. cause ain't no ma'fuggers showin' up! Last year you could get tickets at the door. Walk up... buy playoff tickets for the number one seed? Shit, you better change something. Point being, until people show a change wif their wallets.. ain't jack shizzle gonna change.

This was 2 totally unrelated issues, but I tied them together with a little Christmas bow for ya.

I'm sure there's other shit to mention, but I'm not gonna do it since it's late now. Sorry, I saw Roger Clemens' stupid fat face on the WWL and I couldn't help myself. I'd like to stomp on his fat little neck. I am just beyond fed up with people lying about shit and putting up these fake ass fronts. Shit just doesn't add up mayyyyyne. If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck and paddles around in your pond like a duck... fuckin' shoot it and eat it, cause it's a duck and that's what it deserves. Survival of the fittest, bitch!

Hope you all have a mary xmas and happi new yeer. Yer all so speciul in my hart!!!211!!11!!!!!(

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Viper Style

RR is gone. He was a good coach so I am sad to see him go. I'm not even upset that he took the Michigan job. He gets more money and more prestige, so I can't say I blame him. The worst part is that this is going to leave WVU in shambles next year. If you want to see how much this will affect the program take a gander at this story, a JC transfer guy from Kansas was driving to WVU on his way to enroll for the spring semester. He heard the news and turned around. Literally.

But that is enough about RR, it is Christmas time so I am already depressed enough. Part of me loves Christmas time, people seem to be nicer, you get gifts and radio stations play Christmas songs. The other part of me hates it. I have to go shopping, I have to buy gifts, which isn't bad, but who do I buy for? what do I get them? Dilemmas like this annoy the hell out of me. I also hate people axing me what I want for Christmas. Hell if I know what I want, just get me something that is cool. Also the part I hate the most is that the secretary is out so I have to go up front when the bell rings and help people. Although just now it happened and it was a hot chick who rang the bell. She did not axe for the kind of help I wanted to give.

In NHL news, Detroit still has the most points so they must be the best team.

In my fantasy football league the guy who was just destroying everyone during the regular season and talking tons of trash lost in the playoffs. Karma is a bitch.

In NFL news, Tampa Bay finally returned a kickoff for a TD. Next time someone axes me what I want for Christmas I am saying a Spurlock (dude who returned the kick) jersey. That'll go well with my Gradowski jersey. I think my goal is to have 10 jerseys of players nobody has heard of. That is a retarded goal.

In fantasy NBA news, The Poon Express tied the top team in the league last week. This week they play the second best team. I haven't looked to see how they are doing. I suspect since it is only 1 day into the week that they are either getting their asses handed to them or they are dishing out an ass whipping.

BREAKING NEWS FROM THE DESK OF TEM: I never knowingly used HGH. Although in hike school I once ate horse feed which may or may not have had steroids of some kind in them.

Today's addition to the unspeakable list: Angie Harmon. Welcome aboard. If this pisses your husband off, that is OK. I think I might be able to out run him now. Nice knees Jason.

Consider this another week that I don't want to review any movies.

Final piece of info. Dickie V is out with a throat.

Monday, December 17, 2007

Once upon a time in the black part of the city....

I was going to have a long post about RR coming to UM, but after writing a few paragraphs I realized that noone GAF about what I think about it. So rather than waste my time (and yours) I'll give you the short version:

It's good, I'm excited. Now UM fans have a fresh start, and some hope. I find it ironic that UM couldn't hire the guy who said UM was his "dream job", yet was able to hire someone who was probably at his dream job. Good luck RR. (Sucks to be you WVU fans, sorry Tem)

Biggest dickhead move of the weekend. Dood just doesn't get it. Stop tugging on Superman's cape dawg.

My fantasy footyball season is over. Ousted from all of my money league playoffs in the semi's. Ehh. I wasn't feeling FF this season. This is probably loser talk but FFBL is basically all about luck, even if you are diligent with off-season prep-work, it still comes down to luck. But its still fun. It's still real to me.

LOV Fantasy updates:

CFB Pick 'Em:
Group ID# 3033
PW: tits

Golf:
L.O.V. Country Club
ID: 2904
PW: lovgolf

It's time for the LOV Rap Lyric du Jour:

Many times i got drove by niggas in front of hoes
You know how it be dogg you aint been ballin all your life
You was round dat bitch still dirty stealin bikes
Buildin escape mobile all fixin the grilled cheese
In the store breakin snaps crown derby a key

Name that arist.

Today's LOVRLdJ was brought to you by.......Fanta Grape Soda

Thanks to all that participated. If you have the correct answer please go to www.thereisnoprizesuckaass.com to claim your fabulous prize.

*bonus points for naming the song/artist of the title

Friday, December 14, 2007

El Padrino's Weekly Betting Guide

Shoulda grabbed a copy of the Daily News this morning. Front pic is Clemens and Petitte with a simple headline : Cheaters. Love it.

Fuck you Clemens. You never failed a test. No shit. There was no testing when you did steroids. Your a liar, your a whore. Kill yourself. Nice example you set for your boys. Dirtbag.
Barry never failed a test either. Take that for what it is.

If Knobluach couldn't throw the ball from 2nd to first what was steroids going to do?
I think 6 or 7 of the 2000 Yankees are on that list. Mets are the real champs.

Raiders start Jamarcus Russell already wtf?
Kobe is happy. I'm happy your happy Kobe.
If Miami beats Baltimore does Billick get an extension?

Picks - Overall 60-61-2
Lot's of big road favorites this week.

Philly +10 over DALLAS ($100)

NFC East = SEC
Remember when I said I always like to take the points in a SEC vs SEC game? Same rule applies here. I would even go as far as taking the Skins over the Giants but Todd Collins? Stop it, you know I don't speak Spanish.


Packers -9 over St. LOO ($250)

Packers giving 9? In a dome? I'd give 14 in this game. Packers have a running game and a defense. Two things that are essential to winning on the road. Espeacially against a bad team. Stay with me on this one, it will be close til about the 3 minute mark in the 3rd quarter.



SAINTS -4 over Cards ($200)

Saints are marching for that 2nd playoff spot and Brees is playing lights out right now. He throws for about 350 this week.

Tease the Pats, Colts and Packers ($250). I mean it doesn't get any easier ok? I'm literally handing you money on this one.

Jessica Simpsons flapjacks are in Tony Romo's face right now.

Must be nice.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Mitchell Report Steroid Players

Mitchell Report comes out today. I'll have ROUND THE CLOCK analysis after it drops. Like it's hot.

Early reports are saying that Roger Clemens has been named by his trainer. Stay tuned for more info.

The *OFFICIAL* list of players:

Roger Clemens, Andy Pettitte, Gregg Zaun, Rondell White, Chuck Knoblauch, Matt Franco, Hal Morris, Mark Carreon, Todd Hundley, Josias Manzanillo, Tim Laker, Jack Cust, Brian Roberts, Larry Bigbie, David Segui, Lenny Dykstra, Jason Grimsley, David Justice, F.P. Santangelo, Glenallen Hill, Mo Vaughn, Ron Villone, Denny Neagle, Chris Donnels, Ryan Franklin, Todd Williams, Phil Hiatt, Todd Pratt, Kevin Young, Cody McKay, Michael Lansing, Kent Merker, Adam Piatt, Miguel Tejada, Jason Christiansen, Mike Stanton, Stephen Randolph, Jerry Hairston, Jr., Paul Lo Duca, Adam Riggs, Bart Miadich, Fernando Vina, Kevin Brown, Eric Gagne, Mike Bell, Matt Herges, Gary Bennett, Jr., Jim Parque, Brendan Donnelly, Chad Allen, Jeff Williams, Howie Clark, Nook Logan. Troy Glaus, Gary Matthews Jr., Rick Ankiel, Jay Gibbons, Wally Joyner, John Rocker, Paul Byrd, Randy Velarde, Marvin Benard, Barry Bonds, Bobby Estalella, Jason Giambi, Jeremy Giambi, Benito Santiago, Gary Sheffield.

Those are players that have their own section. Meaning that Mitchell had good evidence against them. That's just what I saw scrolling through the middle section of the report.

I keep hearing about how the Mitchell report isn't viable because most of the information is based on hearsay. One example given was Larry Bigbie recalling a conversation he had with Brian Roberts where Roberts admitting to trying steroids a couple of times. To my knowledge, when you are a participant in a conversation, you can recall what was said and it is considering worthy evidence. I'm unsure as to how this makes it hearsay.



The quasi-sports item of the day. Top 20 Athlete Wives of 2007 Can't go wrong with any of them, but I liked Danielle Lloyd.

The Office and mini-golf. A winning combination. Let's see if zeke can go poop hands on another golf game.

If you're bored in the office, and don't want to crumble your own paper to play trash can bball, go here


Crazier than the filipino prisoners.




Fukudome to you, too.

Hi Bill!

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

You're gonna die, clown!

My one and only thing to say today is this:

The WWL talks about this guy "Vick". Apparently, he is very elusive, as they cannot get a real picture of him. So they have resorted to showing us a drawing of what he looks like. Great idea. That is so cool.

The decision was then made to repeatedly pan and zoom in dramatically on this drawing as if it was live courtroom footage. We are viewing a drawing. Pan family to Vick... Judge to Vick... Vick's handcuffed hands up to his face... lawyers over to Vick... pan crowd to Vick.... zoom into Vick's little sketched eyes to see what he is thinking, really get that emotion(!)...

Watching this makes me want to beat someone unmercifully. I want to really, really, really harm whoever made this decision to continually show a sketch and do dramatic pans.

Please die.

Sincerely,

Someone who had to turn off SC because it was unbearable to watch.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Sick

"random hot chick" from google (with safe search) kinda nsfw in a sfw kinda way



Rachel Nichols....just because


and to bring it back to sports:

Monday, December 10, 2007

so flex....girl....time to have sex........

Skins/G-Men flexed - niiice.

wanted to c-n-p this from yesterday's comments:

I've got mixed feelings on Tebow winning.

1) His team wasn't "good" as far as a title contender goes. His team lost what, 3 games? Without him they lose say 6? So with or without him the team ain't winning anything of significance.

2) He is a system QB (so is Brennan though). But he did run that system flawlessly. But still the majority of his rushing TD's were inside the 5 yd line.

"Look at Gino Torretta," said Tuberville, referring to the 1992 Heisman-winning quarterback from Miami. Tuberville coached the linebackers on that team. "He was the product of a system he ran for five years. He learned how to run it. Tebow was the old single wing quarterback. He just ran the ball and threw it. You can score 20 [rushing] touchdowns if, every time you get the ball inside the five, they call your number."

3) Taking 1 and 2 into account his numbers don't really impress me for a Heisman contender.

With all that said I don't think there was a better clear cut choice so he kinda wins by default. It depends on what your definition of Heisman is.....is it the MVP? Best player on the best team? Best player outright? I don't think Tebow is the answer to any of these questions.

I think McFadden was the best overall but he has the same holes in his resume as Tebow does. If I had a vote, I'd have Brennan winning. He was the MVP of his team, one of the top players in the country and put up gaudy stats. With him, his team had a school best season and went undefeated. Without him they wouldn't have. Seems simple to me. The only monkey wrench to this line of thinking is HI's schedule or lack of SOS.

As for Tebow, I think he'll end up being one of those Rashan Saalam/Weurffel/White/Crouch type winners were, 5-10 years later, you have this convo:

"Who won the Heisman that season? ummmm? McFadden? nah....Tebow? nah it was....wait it was Tebow, yeah it was Tebow......ahahahaahah, man that guy sucked in the pros".

but congrats none-the-less......I guess. And I realize a pro-career or pro-prospects have zero bearing on the Heisman.

And I think he also had the "hey its about time an underclassmen won it" thing going for him. Let's hope for a career threatening injury and/or death in the off-season. He is the college version of Brett Farve for the media. Corso wants to get an apartment with the guy.

Fight Night: All-around a decent card, def worth the money. I was surprised Manfredo went the distance with Lacy and that the decision was close.

As for the main event, it was solid. A lot of times mega-fights fail to live up to the hype but I think the ending helped solidify this fight as entertaining. Hatton seemed to be wearing down and coupled with PBF figuring out his style, the ending wasn't as surprising as you might first think it is. Lederman had a close fight but the judges had Floyd winning by a wide margin, interesting.

You have to start thinking about Floyd's place in history. What's up next for him? I'd love to see him take on Cotto.

Friday, December 07, 2007

mofos just dont know

Fight Night!
I'm pumped for this fight. Has a Gatti/Ward feel. Maybe because of Hatton. Whatever it is got me feeling good though. Might order this one.

My pick if you care would be Floyd in a decision. I feel like you need a chevy to knock hatton out cold.

Roger Mayweather should have his own reality show. NS.

Picks:
OVERALL 58-60-2
Jax -11 over Carolina ($250)
Easiest pick on the board.

Take the Giants plus 3, that line is ridiculous.

Fuck it, I'll grab those 11 points that the Pats are offering. Even though they are home.

That's about all I like. Plus I'm studying for Bowl Season.
Massive post on that in two weeks.

Somebody fuck tonight. It's friday.

Deke have a good time, blow a wad, blow a load and eat a decent steak you maniac.

Thursday, December 06, 2007

Sources

My sources tell me that babyblue has been born.

I can't wait for her pictures to go up on pac-10 poon.

Let the countdown of days until babyblue is legal begin: Only 17 years, 364 days to go.


The hot stove is pretty much the only thing worth talking about today. Barry Bonds still wants to play. Noone (you suck teejer) seems interested. TLR says he doesn't care about Rolen's wishes to be traded (but he would never trade him to the Brew Crew). Cubs are in talks with the O's about Brian Roberts. Philly doesn't look to be able/willing to resign Rowand. Brewers signed some Royals reject named Riske to (maybe) be their closer. Rumor has it that the Giants might deal Lincecum for Alex Rios. Royals look like they got a steal with Jose Guillen, not only did they overpay for him, but he also is going to get suspended.

Late-breaking news from my west-coast correspondents...Andruw Jones has signed with the Dodgers.

CoD4 looks awesome.

Damn, I wish I would have watched some sports last night so I could talk about something relevant. But instead I stumbled around the internet. You tell stumble what topics interest you and it pops up sites that fit your likes. Fantastic way to waste lots of time.

Here is some of the fruits of my exhaustive effort to piss away a whole bunch of my life.

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

This is a the subject matter of the day

miggy. Trelle. no shit?

-i cant believe they pulled it off. i mean, i understand the logic behind it and it is definitely the right move for "right now", but with all the knob-bobbing theyve done on the 2 main pieces of the deal, that's what i can't get over. Cameron Maybin and Andrew Miller were regarded as the second coming of... well, something that came correct once already. Miller was supposed to be The Anchor one day and Maybin was supposed to be so good that he was gonna move Granderson out of center within the next 2 years. they absolutely sloooooooobbed on these guys. like jizz on the chin and leave it there-slob. so that's what surprises me about the whole thing. i wonder if theyll move Inge back to being a catcher now, since they really dont have anybody that's worthwhile behind Pudge. they allegedly packaged Mike Rabelo into the deal, so there goes the backup from last year. Inge has a big chunk of salary though, so i wouldnt expect him to stick around. damn, if that negro could hit he'd be freakin awesome. his glove is solid gold like Soul Train. i will miss watching him play 3rd for us. it was a good run, Brandon. sorry to see you peace out. deuce deuce. chest lb.

in other news, the Tigers have a sick.. sick.. lineup. top to bottom that shit is Scary Spice.

-watched some of the Memphis/USC game last night. OJ Mayo looks like the kid who was way better than anyone he ever played against in hike school, then went to a shitty team, but high-profile program, in an effort to get mad minutes. he is like Flip Murray. bitch shoots all the damn time tryin to 'get his'. just seems like the kid who "acts" like he's really good on the floor.. and no doubt he hit some nice shots and seems like a good baller, but he seems like he is one who has the act and posturing down, rather than actually working on his game. this is better known as swagger. he acts like he is the shit, but i dont know that he actually has the game to fully compliment how good he thinks he is. example: the guy at pickup ball who wears the arm bands or knee sleeve (and doesnt have it on his knee) and kinda just throws the ball at the rim warming up, cause he's so good he dont needs no warmup shots. yeah, like that. maybe im wrong (who cares), but that's kinda the vibe i get after watching him a couple times. oh, plus both of those teams are really, really shitty. Memphis supposedly had an off night, but USC is just fucking awful. and Mayo has a skinny little Hitler mustache. looks like ma'fuggin Little Richard or some shit.

-haysoos, how do u add a 2 all-star caliber players like that to an already potent lineup and pitching rotation? fuck me, that's awesome.

-i want bowl games. i wish they meant something though. that's life, kid.

-today: office christmas luncheon. yay. this year, instead of just having out dinky little group involved, they invited a slew of people. yay, douchebags that think theyre important and try to act as if. sweet. i'm excited. i hope the food doesnt suck. i am putting my expectations low though.

-it's getting late, so i'll slop this up there.

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Normal Crap From Tem

I didn't watch the Pats game so I won't write about it. Novel idea I know. Some other Internet bloggers should try it out. It would be nice if we all stuck together and didn't write about sports we never watched. It would bring a hint of legitimacy to these things. Because when my (our) peers write about sports they never watched it just supports the blogger haters. Blogger haters are mostly from mainstream media that say if you write on a blog then you are junk and can't get a real job (axe the Sports Guy about these douches). Well somewhere out here in blogger land some kid is trying to use his blog to get a real job and nobody is biting because a certain so and so who actually came to the blogger world with a hint of legitimacy has all but ruined it for lots of people out there. (Nothing was ruined for me, I have a job). Anyway, we all know who I mean when I talk about the sham of a blogger, and yes, he is our peer, which totally sucks for him, but that is the hand he has been dealt. So I say to this sham, quit writing about crap you don't even watch, quit having wild inaccuracies in all your posts. All you are doing is making it harder for some 18 year old with dreams of being in SI to realize his dreams. So drop any pretenses of legitimacy (like this blog has) or just hang it up. Jackass.

And that is the temrant for today.

Next up, a new addition to the weekly post. Idiots who piss me off (partially inspired by Jug's list of office idiots):

Today's inductee is the person who flies up behind me in the fast lane and then when I move over to let him by (note: I move over early and don't hold him up, I figure hell he might have somewhere important to be, sometimes I am in a hurry too and would like it if people moved for me) he slows down and just sits on my quarter panel. Anyway, fuck you guy who does this.

Weekly addition to the unspeakable list: Sarah Michelle Gellar. Tem is a big fan. It is especially nice when a chick can look hot as a blonde, brunette, and a red head. She pulls it off. Welcome to the list SMG.

Detriot has the most points in the NHL, they must still be good. Columbus has a winning record and let me tell you, about 10 people in this whole city care.

So I guess you all want a movie review, well not this week. TFB. Maybe if the demand is there I will add it later.

Tem's thoughts on the WVU game:

Terrible coaching by RR. Terrible play calling. They didn't run the same plays that had them whip up on UConn. They ran the dumbest crap I have ever seen. I'd say this loss is all the coaching staff's fault, but truth be told WVU should kick the shit out of Pitt even with bad coaching. So the players didn't show up either (and I am glad the talking heads have finally realized what I have been saying all year, Slaton is slow this year, he needs to lose half of whatever weight he put on). It was just a disaster. A huge black mark for a program needing some legitimacy. Put me on record for a BCS bowl score of WVU -10, OK -Infinity.

OK, it is late in the morning and TPS is calling big time. I wanted to write more, but I didn't.

Monday, December 03, 2007

THANK YOU SIR MAY I HAVE ANOTHER!

What a kick in the nuts this past weekend was sports wise:

1) Les Miles, a man who proclaimed UM was his "dream job", pulls a 180 and decides to stay at LSU. How did UM bungle this one?

2) Your favorite NFL team has its best defensive player murdered earlier in the week, then on Sunday, your HOF coach helps blow the game. How does he not know the rules?

3) OSU makes the title game. I could tell you who I think should make the BCS Title game but you DAF, and IDGAF who you think should make it. The only thing that matters is what the BCS says. All Hail the BCS! (S).

4) Whale's Vagina, eliminated half of your office suicide pool, but then becomes the team that wins it all in the end. Fuck you Denver, you suck.

Did I miss anything?

BCS Matchups:

Title Game: LSU vs OSU
Sugar: Hawaii vs Georgia
Rose: USC vs Illinois
Orange: VT vs Kansas
Fiesta: OU vs WVU

And let me add a little holiday cheer to your day by recycling these from last year. The video is SFW, the audio, maybe not. Enjoy.

Part I:


Part II:


Part III:

Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"





"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug





"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino





"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino