Friday, November 30, 2007

El Padrino's Weekly Betting Guide (Special Edition)

Alabama - Athletics
Lots of athaletes come out of Bama. Athletes are athletic. Plus James Andrews is there. Also WC played with Peavy and that's as close as a LOV circle jammie that I can think of.

Alaska - Wild
Lots of wildlife in Alaska and they can play the hockey outside if they wanted to.

Arkansas - Hawks
Atlanta don't deserve 4 sports. When they start acting accordingly maybe we'll move the Hawks back. Til then enjoy Arkansas. Also Bill Clinton is from Arkansas and he hawks blowjobs from interns. Fair enough?

Connecticut - Patriots
This New England thing is dumb. Play in Hartford and you can still call yourselves New England. How's that? Plus there is nothing more patriotic than knowing the constitution and since Conneticut is known as the Constitution State that is above all.

Delaware - Senators
Being as Delaware is known as the First State having the Senators there makes sense.

Hawaii - Warriors
We could even go with the Rainbow Warriors if you'd like. I know that offends people but what doesn't nowadays.

Idaho - Raptors
There is no ryhme or reason to this other than black people inhabiting Idaho would be hilarious. And NBA has the most black people. And fuck Toronto Poputlation is 97% white in Idaho btw.

Iowa - fuck you Weazy, you get shit and like it
Kansas - fuck you again Weazy, hahahahahahahaaa

Kentucky - Blue Jays
Blue grass, Blue Jays. No brainer.

Maine - Clippers
Sounds like a boat docked in the Maine harbor. Good enough for me. I wonder Billy Crystal would still come to the games?

Mississippi - Browns
I think there is mud in Mississippi. Mud is brown.

Montana - Grizzlies
Montana has the largest grizzly bear population in the lower 48 states. Wiki is my Easy button.

Nebraska - Royals
Kansas City won't even know they are misssing.

Nevada - Kings (NBA)
Maloofs.

New Hampshire - Canucks
Let Canada start thier own Hockey League.

New Mexico - Padres
18.1% of the population is Mexican, so not only can you catch a baseball game but if your not mexican you wont have to worry about the guy in front of you blocking your vision because he's too tall.

North Dakota - Rockets
They develop alot of coal and oil. So fuels can be made and Rockets need fuel. Oh and the US Air Force has two bases here and they have Rockets so there's that as well.

Oklahoma - Reds
Okla and humma, means "red people". Formed from the Indian territory. Red also matches the Sooners football jersey's.

Rhode Island - Islanders
This makes sense for many reasons. One Islanders/Island connection. Duh. Rhode Island is synonmous with New York in many ways. They share water, they have a large Italian population, they eat well and they have chest hair.

South Dakota - Coyotes
Coyotes run that state. Also unconfirmed sources state the Road Runner cartoons starring Wile E. Coyote were filmed in the Black Hills of South Dakota. One more thing, Dances with Wolves was filmed in South Dakota and Wolves are in the same family has Coyotes, so there.

Vermont - Maple Leafs
Easiest pick on the board. How is this not the case today?

Virginia - Cavaliers
That's the name of the college team so in an effort not to confuse the Virginians we should keep it simple. Bron Bron, meet the Beltway Sniper.

West Virginia - Bucs (NFL)
Cuz then TEM dont have to change allegiances.

Wyoming - Bills
Aren't there lot's of Buffalo roaming around? Like Bisons and shit.

PICKS:
Panthers -3.5 over SF
Over Browns @ Arizona (52)
Broncos -3.5 in OAK


Army / Navy classic - Take the Midshipmen -14
Stanford +14
Hawaii -14 over Washington
Under 46 VaTech/B.C game
Missouri +3.5 (when's the last time the #1 team was a dog in it's league championship game?)

Overall 54-56-2


No
Sleep
Til
Brooklyn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Who loves ya, babe?

-Indiana/Ga Tech is on. DJ White seems solid. He plays basketball well. He shoots free fro's real shitty. This game ended with Indiana winning 77-62. Dont read Esssspin, they lie about the score. I was at the game. Believe me instead.

-It needs to be mentioned from the front page... Ricky Williams played in one game. Juan. That is freakin hilarious. Now Ricky can go smoke out. Just quit, man. Seriously, football is too hard anyway(zzzzzzzz). Didnt someone mention that he was gonna get 100 yards first time out? Whoever said that should take over Fridays and give betting advice. Pleace Advice.

-"Yeah that's what I'm talkin 'bout!!"

-March needs to get here. I'm already tired of the regular season of college hoops and I havent even watched one game. I think I'm up to 8 minutes of game time.

-So that dude that died... wasn't he ghetto as f*ck? I'm not sayin nothin about him cause of that.. of course I'm not gonna speak ill of the dead. Well, I totally would, but I'm really just too tired to think of him.. but I'm just getting mentally prepared to hear about how great he was and all that crap. I just need to remember the "real" him. Oh nevermind, WWL gives me a headline that says "He was maturing". Thank you. That is all I needed to know. However, that does suck ass to die. Just in general, ya know? Don't do it, kids.

-I just saw a banner for El Retardo's "Marathon Chat" on Wednesday. Apparently he is still a columnist and getting a paycheck? Troubling.

-Since the Blazers aren't using him, Greg Oden should go back to Tha Ohio State University. They could use him. Shit, they aren't even ranked.

-The Kooks put out a solid album called "Inside In the Outside Out". I think they're really young and from another country. Austrailia, the UK... China.. something very "indie rawk" like that.

-College foosball coaches are getting hired and fired everywhurr. Let's find a replacement for Lloyd soon, please.

-I really need to get a haircut.

-Like, really, fer shur need one.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Pasta Primavera

OK so here is the thing, I'm not going to talk about any sports today because I don't want to talk about Mr. Taylor's death and I'd feel even worse if I talked about everything else but that. So anyway, as with everyone who dies, I send good thoughts to the friends and family of Mr. Taylor.

So what I will talk about is some more random crap. This is stuff that I think about fairly often. Crap like this gets stuck in my head and never leaves. If this were to be a regular addition to the "column" I'd have to name it stupid shit tem thinks of. I guess it is along the line of Skunkpatch's "10 things I think I think." except my stuff is not as retarded (but don't worry it is still retarded).

1) If humans evolved from monkeys and God created humans in his own image, doesn't that make God a monkey? And if God is a monkey does that make humans > God? Or does it just mean that Monkey God is pissed off about how we turned out. Perhaps humans = Monkey God's greatest failure.

2) Isn't it possible that the universe is just some hike school kid's (alien) 4th grade science fair project? At first he/she was all into it but now we are just locked in some closet waiting for the kid's parents to die so that when he/she inherits the house he/she can come back and find the shoebox with the universe in it and say "I remember making that, it was awesome, whoa! now it is a shithole." And the he/she will throw us out.

3) It is too hard to pass legislation that stops old people from driving (because they all suck at it) because old people are the only ones who vote.

4) Luck is a zero sum gain. Meaning that if something lucky happens to you that somewhere someone else is having bad luck. So the next time you run into some good luck think of the person who is having bad luck because of you.

5) People at work need to realize that tuesday's I post so they need to leave me alone. Also they need to make up their minds about certain things. But they pay me money so I won't bitch out loud.

OK time to add another chick to the unspeakable list: I am going to jump on the Amy Adams bandwagon and add her to the list. She is in that Enchanted movie, which of course I have not seen and also was in Talledega Nights. She was the dorky hot chick. I did see that movie. Anyway, Amy welcome aboard. I know you are reading this and are thrilled.

Now for the tem movie review of a movie tem has not seen: 25th Hour

This movie is number 55 on El Pad's list, apparently. This is a rare movie that I have never even heard of, let alone seen. But in any case it is a pretty good movie. It is really similar to the 24 show that is on Fox from time to time, but it has 25 hours instead. I really think that the Fox people decided that the movie would make a good TV show, if they just had cut an hour off the thing.

Anyway, so in 25th Hour Kurt Russel has 25 hours to escape from a prison city. It turns out the prison city is New York. Also he has to escape with the president who fell out of a plane and landed there. He has 25 hours to do it in, so of course he takes all 25 hours. The movie really focuses on that last hour. So anyway, Russel goes in, finds the president, shoots some hoops with Shaft and befriends some taxi driver or something. He gets the president out, but double crosses him somehow and saves America. It is awesome.

3 helmet stickers out of 5.


OK comment away.

Monday, November 26, 2007

I'm a 24 point favorite.

Personally I hate going back to work the day after an extended break/holiday. You get to have the same lame exchange about 50 times with people you don't really care about.

Co-Worker : "hey, how was your (holiday name/vacation)?"

You: "great"

This ranks up there with "IT'S FRIDAYYY!!!!1111!!!"

One time in college me and my friends got tired of this and started making up shit/saying stoopid shit. One dood came up with "I got hooked on heroin" after the "how was your break" question came up. Turned out the chick he said this to, had a best friend who was hooked on H, which made it even funnier. (true story)

Anyway, I refuse to ax you all "how was your thanksgiving".

Nor will I ax how your travel went (if you had to). What I will add is that, while traveling I was really disturbed by the lack of manners we, as a society, show. No one covers their mouth when they cough or sneeze, people don't use inside voices around people who are sleeping on plane, parents choose not to parent their kids when they act up - really, a kid screaming/coughing/etc - and you don't tell it to quiet down? Gotdamn this is driving me crazy. And some dood wouldn't buy a snack on a plane because the bills he would get back as change were too crumpled (true story again). WTH?

Holiday shopping. Fuck that. Getting up at 4AM for a "sale"? Hell no. No man should step foot in or near a mall in the next month. Unless you're trying to impress a new chick and expedite finishing on her face. Holiday shopping = internets shopping.

The only sports related "commentary" I'll give you is this : Hawaii deserves a BCS "at large" spot. NS. I got to peep game on the entire Boise St./HI game and was thoroughly impressed with HI. They'll give someone a hellacious matchup problem. I'm not sure about Brennan in the pros as he seems short and has a weird delivery.

You want more sports, go here.

I peeped game on Beowulf. I fell asleep. I'll give it an "incomplete" on the Prince Chill-o-meter. Seemed like it might be pretty good. CGI Angie looked marvelous however.

Comments will be "under renovation". (s)

Roger. Over.

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Might as well be me...

Someone usually puts up a post for Sunday footyball. It might as well be me.

Especially since all of you have been clamoring for a good Rev posting. You know you want it. Oh yeah... you're begging for a 9 scroller, aren't you?

I don't know if I have a long posting in me. But I'll say a few things.

- I've figured out what tonight's Iggles-Pats game reminds me of. Does everyone remember the first Wrestlemania? Think King Kong Bundy vs. SD "Special Delivery" Jones.

The Pats are the King Kong Bundy of the league. Remember when Bundy used to squash an opponent, pin him for the three, then Bundy would yell "FIIIIVVVVEEEE" at the ref to get him to make a 5 count?

That's the Pats. They are the King of the 5 Count right now.

(Cue the obvious Rev comparison to King Kong Bundy jokes now)

Of course, SD Jones was from Philadelphia. Says it all right there. The only guys SD could beat on a regular basis were guys like Iron Mike Sharpe and Barry Horowitz.

- Bill Callahan got fired in Nebraska. Which surprised the hell out of me.

No, not that he got fired. I actually forgot Bill Callahan was still coaching somewhere.

(ns)

- Am I the only one that thinks this weekend in the NFL sucks? Most of the good teams played already on Thursday, and those games sucked. Wash vs. TB... mildly interesting. Houston and Cleveland... maybe. Otherwise, there's a lot of mediocre vs. mediocre, or good vs. suck games out there. I got nothing funny to say about it. Just struck me as a crap weekend.

I got nothing else. I could gloat about J-Roll winning the MVP, but that is so last Tuesday.

Rev out.

Friday, November 23, 2007

Black

Short week
Early day
Hangovers
Football Bets
Today
Over 63 in the Akron/Central Mich
Nebraska +4 over Colorado
LSU -14 and the over 59 vs. Arkansas
Texas -7 over A&M
Boise +3 over Hawaii
Saturday
Kentucky -3 over Vols
Over 53 Clemson/South Carolina
Missouri +2 over Kansas
Sunday
Pats -22.5
Yesterday I was 3-1
Lions got raped, BBB = happy
Boys rolled
The Colts are back
Overall I'm 51-52-1
Turkey was good
cookies for breakfast
it's cold
i'm at work
Can't watch the Knicks

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

wHaT r U tHaNkFuL 4 'N' wHy?????

BBB's post, enjoy:
Off for the week n' ish. you get the slightly early in the evening post for all your troubles. maybe EP shoulda just used today for his betting post. woulda probably been smart. maybe i shoulda come up with the idea before we both left up outta this mofo. ah well. incase u dont read comments and u want his picks, theyre up on his blog, so go fetch.

I present this next little nugget in honor of all things PWT (poor white trash):




















And before someone starts in with the "it might be tacky but that crap costs more than your car does!".. no, no it doesnt, but that's irregardlessness.. more importantly, it is however far more tacky than anything that i will evar own. even if i owned weazy's coked-up "wife" after buying her Hostel-style from a rich overseas business man, this shitstain of a tribute vehicle would still be the tackiest. by far.

Folks, that's sayin' something.

Anyways... the last thing i gotta say is "look out for that wall".

I hope everybody has a great TGiving and enjoys spending time with their families n' shit... wait. that's a lie. i hope everyone except Beth chokes on chicken bones, although she is the most likely to be in position to do so by showcasing her talents at the work dinner buffet. sad, but true. (love you, snookums).


Somethingsportsrelatedsomethingsportsrelatedsomethingsportsrelated.

The Lions eat ass and i hope to high heaven they get anal raped sans lube on national tv on Turkey Day. good times.

if i didnt post this by tmrw morning, somebody else just do it for me, will ya?piece bitches!

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Pirates

What ever happened to that Monk show? Tony Shalhoub won like Emmys and stuff for that show and now I never see it advertised and never see it on TV. Maybe that is because I don't watch USA that much. I never watched the show and I have no clue what made me think of it, but there it is anyway.

Same question for that Charmed show. That show should have been the best show ever. A show about 3 hot witches? Sign me up. Of course I never watched it. It was on basic cable too, so maybe they had a nip slip or some ass or something. I bet someone on here watches Charmed all the time and can fill us all in. In the end I suspect it was a huge let down. Still I think it was on for like 7 or more seasons. That is good. Some of those cable shows get good runs. Which makes that Monk mystery all the more mysterious.

Also I should note that apparently Tom Brady got my message from last week about me not wearing his cologne. I did not see an ad for his stuff in my ESPN the Mag this week. Thanks for reading Tom and thanks for caring.

Has that Cavemen show been cancelled? If not WTF? I guess this writers strike means some of these shows will get to show all of their crap because with no writers no other show is ready to go on short notice. Yeah writers....it is times like this that I am glad I do not watch a whole lot of TV.

So I was reading this list of movies with shitty titles and came across "Operation Dumbo Drop." It was then that I realized that I watch some really shitty movies. I have seen Operation Dumbo Drop, but not Swingers.....Something is seriously wrong with me. What sucks more is that I am pretty sure that everyone else knew, but never let me in on it. It is like everyone assumed I already knew. Well thanks for nothing jackasses.

Denver won last night, Stokley was on my bench and I don't want to talk about it. I am just pissing away my money league with shitty decisions. I'd like to say that this was an unusual trend, but it is not. I make shitty decisions.

NHL news: Ottawa still has the most points, they must be the best team.

NASCAR half sentence: Matt Kenseth won the race but Jimmie

NBA news: Knicks have lost 6 in a row. Also Boston has a good record. I'd say more, but you already know.

NFL news: If you don't know about the NFL and exactly what is going on you need to crawl out from under that rock you are living under and poke your own eyes out. Then listen to some fricken ESPN radio.

CFB news: See NFL news.

You know what cancelled TV show I really liked? I liked that damn Ed show. It had some dude in it and one of the chicks from an Adam Sandler movie (Happy Gilmore chick I think.). Anyway, I just wanted to get that off my chest. There was a movie called Ed TV. I did not watch it and I do not think it had anything to do with the TV show named Ed.

Also I am pretty sure that is why I don't watch TV anymore. All the shows I used to like got cancelled. Fuck new things, I want those old shows that nobody watched but me back on TV.

Unspeakable addition this week: Emily Deschanel. Chick is in that Bones show. Drives me nuts. Also in a rare double addition I am adding Keri Russell as well. Mostly because I think they look alike.

Tem movie review of a movie tem has never seen: Raging Bull

OK so this movie is just like Brokeback Mountain, except the exact opposite. It is like a better Lonesome Dove. There is this really pissed off bull who is fucking up this ranch and it needs stopped. So the owner of the ranch, played by Jack Palance calls some bad ass cowboy. Let's just say that DiNiro plays the cowboy and he brings along his badass friend who is played by Joe Pesci.

So DiNiro and Pesci get to the ranch and the bull isn't falling for any of their usual cowboy tricks. So they have to think outside of the box. They decide to challenge this bull to a boxing match. The loser has to leave the ranch forever. So Pesci has an old war wound and can't box the bull so DiNiro has to. DiNiro wins in a KO in the 19th round, I forgot to mention this was a non sanctioned bout so it had 20 rounds. The bull leaves the ranch, Jack Palance gives DiNiro and Pesci lots of money and they leave to go find something else to do.

3.5 helmet stickers out of 5.

Monday, November 19, 2007

At long last......

finally.....a new coach!

From the outside, it's tough to look at the overall record and understand why UM fans are so happy that Carr is stepping down. UM gets decent enough talent to, at the very least, compete for the Big 10 title every season (which, for the most part they do). But recently, the program has slipped. It's time for a new voice. I'm starting to warm to the idea of Les Miles as the coach, though I'm not completely sold, yet. Lloyd ran a clean program and did well enough, he doesn't deserve to be totally clowned for the job he did. Although his putrid record vs Tressel will mos def cloud his legacy. Good luck in the future Lloyd.

I'm looking fwd to the last few weeks of CFB's regular season, it should be wild. I think Keef brought this up in the comments - for all the uproar about the BCS not working, it has gotten it right almost every year. I'm sure there are still a few more surprises left in the next two weeks.

On Countdown, Mort reported that Dan Snyder used tickets allotted for players, and gave them to corporate sponsors. He said that the team had to buy extra tix for the players on scalping sites. When I heard this it was disappointing, but not surprising. The team however says this story is bogus. I used to think Mort was one of ESPN's best and overall one of the best in the business, he seems like a genuine and bright guy, but he's had some big misses lately, especially if this story isn't true. Vick not being indicted, Eli's shoulder, etc. Lock it up Mortimer.

Me and FMZ hit up a new restaurant over the weekend and had a nice bottle of Malbec from Catena. Very smooth, and affordable.

We also peeped game on American Gangster. It was.......good. I had high hopes. I wasn't disappointed but I thought they could have done more. Overall, 3.5 out of 5 Prince Chills. Of note, there were at least 3 if not more "movie mess-ups" in this, in at least three scenes you could see the boom mic come into the top of the screen. I've never seen that before and you'd figure a movie of that magnitude would not have those types of mistakes.

Friday, November 16, 2007

El Padrino's Weekly Betting Guide

Bonds indicted. Sir Charles on TNT last night said everyone should go to jail not just Bonds. Um, Charles. He didn't get indicted for pumpin horse hormone in his buttcheek he got indicted for lying and obstructing justice. No one else did that as far as I know. Giambi told the truth. Now maybe Palmerio and McGwire, fine I'll give you them but let's not start going down THAT road already.

And Bonds is a first ballot hall of famer. If you don't think so your a moron and a hypocrite. It's the steroid era. There are rapists, thiefs, and plenty of assholes already in the Hall, what's one more?


It's halftime as I write this and Oregon is down 31-14. Yikes. No Dixon though so I guess that will be the excuse. There was no Leaf born a leader. And they went down as I recap this post this am. What is that like the 8th #2? Who benefits? Oklahoma? Kansas? WVU? Interesting.


Arod stays in the boogie down. I'm no Yankee fan but how many baseball fans can say they have the best player ever to play, period. playing in their city. I will make my way to go see him from time to time.

Suns are warming up.


Where I Stand: Last week 5-4, Overall 44-47

Let's just jump right on the big one.
MICHIGAN +4 over Ohio State($25)
Notice the amount. It's because I have no clue. Will the Wolverines be motivated by the fact that they can still win the Big Ten? After that Appa, after that Appa.. Fuck I can't even say it. After the early season stumble you would have never thought that they would even be in contention for the title but they are and it comes vs a team that has owned them the past 3 years. The problem with me being sure or not about this bet is simple. Everywhere I look, I get an even read. Usually when I cap a game I look at opening lines, who's home and the home/away records, last 5 games played, last 5 games played vs. each other & conference and recent trends. If I'm desperate for info I'd delve into the officials records, weather and other "expert" picks. Of course there are invariables like injuries, emotional type banter and so on.

The opening line is 4. It never shifted so there goes that. Recent trends obviously favor the Buckeyes. Last 5 games vs Conference is even, last 5 played vs each other favors the Buckeyes. Michigan is home, The Big House is no ordinary home game so they get the edge there. Hart is back, Henne is too so no major injuries to report. Mich has one loss vs. a Big Ten opponent as does O.State. Each losing to a team that the other one beat. I think Michigan beat two more quality teams than O. State did so there is that. It's pretty much a dead heat stat wise no matter what you say. So why am I siding with the team I root for? Because OSU's QB sucks. And no one seems to know this. Michigan pulls this one out 28-24. Hart carries the ball 14 times in the 4th quarter on a 19 play, 8 minute drive late in the 4th quarter to ice it. Also:

Manningham > Robiske
Hart > Beanie Wells
Henne > Todd Boeckman

Missouri -7 over K.State ($500)
I think this is a lock. The amount says it all.

ILLINI -14 over Northwestern ($100)
Northwestern stinks. Juice Williams coming off some terriffic play in defeating OSU should beat them by themselves. Also Northwestern beat Illinois the last four games. It's a given they are not losing this one.

I'm not laying 26 over Iowa St. depsite them sucking goat nuts. I think these last 4 games are really going to prove whether or not Kansas can hang around and shock the nation. (Put this is a small parlay, Iowa St. +26 or in a tease, make it 36 or 38)

Lots of big spreads in the Pros this week. Here's my take on each of them:

Colts are reeling, no way they cover 15 points. Even if they are home. ($50)

Jets get slam-danced by the Steelers. It may take til the 2nd half though. Jets + 6 for the 1st half is a decent play. Steelers for the game though, they are -10. ($50, $50)

Fins getting 10 @ Philly. Jon Beck to make his first start. Yikes. Lay the wood. ($150)

Take the Bills +16.5. That crowd will be jacked, it's a primetime game and while the Pats are very, very good right now the week off might hurt them A) and B) the Bills are red hot right now. Tough go of it if Lynch is really out this week. I'd say 24-17 final. ($50)

Skins +11 over Cowboys. Fuck the Cowboys. ($50)

Pack -10 over Carolina who look really, really bad. My boy John Fox is having a rough one huh? ($200)

BENGALS -4 over Arizona ($50) because I hate AZ on the road and I think the Bengals are primed to run off 3 or 4 games in a row. Once a year a team or two get hot down the stretch. For some reason I think it's these Bengals.



What do you want for Christmas and why?

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Stabby rip stab stab

Seattle is no longer winless.

So the question has to be asked, how hapless are the Heat? Pat Riley thinks he can suit up and play better. The crazy thing is, he just might be. But one good hip check and he's gone. Shaq is really really old and feeble. Mind you, he could still probably break me in half, but he's feeble for a pro ball player.

Kevin Durant still has a horrible FG%.

Marshawn Lynch is out for this weekend against the Pats. But it doesn't matter, the Bills will win anyway. The Patriots are overrated.

Missy Peregrym is hot. Really hot.

The MLB GMs look like they want instant replay. Bud Selig, predictably is a moron. He has "no timetable" for deciding upon the issue.


In other news, making fun of emo kids is wicked fun.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

You underestimate my sneakiness

Is it me, or does it just seem like there's not too much exciting sports news to report. I mean, A-Rod hasnt been traded, the Kobe front has been quiet and the Patriots are only practicing today.

Or maybe my jaded outlook has something to do with this...

Negro, pleeze. You have got to be kidding me. After seeing them bust out the comparison chart after 6 games, I truly hope Ray-Ray's ankles blow up or Pierce gets a slice of metal shoved in his gut. I'm really not a mean or violent person, but the WWL is doing this to me. Mainly, I just wanna drop a deuce in a zip-lock baggie, leave it unzipped, and throw it towards the general direction of Bristol, CT.

I'm actually more excited to see a team like this come together and kick ass, as we could all use the break of watching a one-man show or seeing terribly boring teams win year after year. It's kinda along the lines of why I wanna see the Suns actually make noise in the playoffs sometime soon. As much as it pains me to have any more Boston bullshit for the media to cover, the idea of a multi-pronged star attack team is cool. I like it. But sod off with your "Greatest Teams Evar" arguments right now. WTF is with this obsession of being The First to "call" something. Everybody wants to be on the bandwagons ASAP nowadays. Does this give you cred? Maybe some sort of personal satisfaction? I'm still not sure. I could see if it had some worth, like adding to your Fantasy Trophy shelf. Maybe everyone thinks they could be a pro scout the same way people think they could be an A&R guy or talent scout at a record label. w.t.f. Instant history shticks are bad enough when they're from some dude's basement blog, but Haysoos Creest-o, but how often can the WWL pump this 'chit out. It's truly becoming unbelievable. I'm waiting for the day that the backlash comes. Hopefully it'll be sooner than later, cause I am beginning to think something is wrong with me cause I'm really getting "over" it all. What becomes bothersome is that it actually detracts from the events themselves.. just kinda kills the whole joy of even watching the actual games. But as with the Super Bowl and with the Pats/Colts games, I pretty much go into solitary confinement and don't read too much sports news or have to turn the TV off or whathaveyou. It helps, but it still seeps into your day. (I can't quit you?) It was nice to hear hardly anything about the Pats/Colts though.. that was a good job of maximum avoidance by myself. It made the game enjoyable for what it was. A freakin game.

-If I never hear about Ricky Williams again, my life will still be complete.

Over and out. Niner.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Entertain Yourselves

Cause if you want a song and dance, it'll be a little while.

Monday, November 12, 2007

......precocious and full of wonderment.

Quick Hitters:

Who has the "best" loss of the 1 loss teams? Timing is everything.

I used to say "every game is a playoff game for CFB, it doesn't need a playoff". Wrong. CFB needs a playoff. The NCAA is all about making money but refuse to adapt and create a playoff system which would create a shitload of money. I realize its not that simple but come on mayne.

Who's the Heisman front runner? Dixon?

Navy and Air Force? Seriously, Chuck Weiss shoulda been fired a week ago.

Move over SEC, the Big 12 is the best conference right now. NS

I hate when CFB officials review an obvious call, it serves no purpose other than to fire up the crowd. Stop it.

Impressive win for Cotto. Welterweight is an awesome weight class.

Leandrino! The Captain nets 39 on Saturday in a starting role for the injured Raja Bell. I'm positive he could avg 25+ a game if he started, easily. Oh yeah, the Suns were 3-1 on a quick East Coast trip. Weird trip, 2 sets of b-2-b's. In both 2nd games, the other team was also in the 2nd game of a b-2-b.

Did you know the Kings have a curfew? I didn't.

Dallas, fuck, great team (at least for the NFC). Gibbs? Hit the front office. Get Cowher in there.

Vince Young, the magical wins are wearing off and people are starting to see the warts. This will get worse.

AD hurt - it was only a matter of time. Shows you how foolish "maybe one of the all time greats" instant history is. The media, Shammy et al, are always too eager to create more hype than necessary. That's nothing new to report but its annoying. Let the story create itself, don't create the story.

Adam V misses two bunnies in the same game? No matter how poor the refs are, you toss 6 picks you don't deserve to win. If your team is coached by Norv you don't deserve to win. Go figure.

I still haven't seen American Gangster, this bothers me.

CYE really rallied the last few episodes.

Thank you for coming out, good night and god bless.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Hands Across...Am-er-i-caaaaaaa!

Gonna put up a new post for Sunday footyball.

Crazy day in CFB yesterday. All of the OSU naysayers had their wood stroked! eye-told-yous-so!!!11!!!!!.

Eh whatever. The Big 10 is obviously not the strongest conference, no Big 10 fan will debate that. However, its like any other conference, games are always tight and tough.

Losing at home like that though was a bit of a surprise. Maybe this will be a blessing for CFB in general so there will be a LSU/Oregon final after all.

Is this loss for OSU worse than losing to Kentucky (who then lost to Miss St)? Is it worse than Oregon's loss to Cal? Debateable. But since it came late in the season, RIP tOSU's title chances.

I'm pissed they lost, if they would have won they might have been a little overconfident for next week's game. Now they'll be sharper, re-focused and pissed, which is not a good combo for UM.

As for UM, bad loss yesterday. Not because it was to Wisconsin, but because they didn't look very good. You take Hart off the field and UM is lost. At least Mallett is getting some run, he's a beast.

CFB has been wild this season, and from the looks of it College Hoops could be just as wild. First James Gardner-Webb whoops Kentuckee (sic), now Mercer downs USC. I'm sure SEC fans will have excuses for the Ken-tuckee loss though. Because afterall, IT'S THE SEC!!!!!

Friday, November 09, 2007

El Padrino's Weekly Betting Guide

I hope Michigan can make it out of Wisconsin. That game scares me for whatever reason.

Pat White is fast. And in regards to the LOVAD on Pat White and whether or not he's a NFL QB, the answer is no. I can't even see him being drafted. Just too small. Smells like a free agent signing, a practice squad or two then maybe he'll hang out with Eric Crouch. They can open up a Option QB School somewhere.

Cotto in a decision.

I fucking love football. This week's Giant game is huuggge. I'm not going to bet it, just want to sit back, relax and scream nasty things at the TV. Maybe cook up a beef stew or some wings.

Where I stand
Last week 5-9
Overall 39-43

Back under the 50%, gotta pick more games. Either I'm going to get buried of going to pull myself out of it. Here we go.

Not much in college that tickles my nuts this week. I'm luke-warm on the slate of games.
Is Uconn for Derek Fo Real? Take the points, take a shot. They are +7 in Cincy.

Boise -25 should blow out....

Even though Auburn is the best road SEC team alive, I like Georgia this week to cover the 2 points....

New Mexico I'm kind of leaning towards to cover the 10 vs Colorado St...

SC +8 intrigues me, so far my SEC rule has worked. (SEC team getting more than a TD I usaully take it)

Onto the Pros....
GREEN BAY -6 over Vikings ($200)
Adrian Peterson had two ridiculous performances this year. I will not believe that Minnesota goes into Lambeau and wins this game under any circumstance. Packers are coming off two very good road wins and have a nice run stuffing defense. I don't know who quarterbacks for the Vikings this week but I know that whoever that person is will suck.

SAINTS -12 over Rams ($150)
No one is hotter than Brees right now. He's doing his last year's impression. Really locked in. This gets ugly early. We're talking like 42-10 here folks. NS.

Indy -3.5 over SD ($200)
Indy doesn't lose to Minnesotta or K.C. They beat those teams. And mostly beat them by alot. Tony Dungy >>>>>>>>>>>>> Norv Turner. The Chargers should be 6-2 easily right now. Peyton is boiling after having a chance to beat the Pats again he makes due on Sunday night with a clinic in a 35-17 whooping.

Browns +10 over STILLERS ($50)
I think they keep it close. Might even have a lead in the game at one point. They are alot better than last year I mean I think that's obvious. Take advantage of Vegas here, they seem to think that Monday night game vs the Ravens was a measuring stick for the Steelers. Rape them like the dirty whores that they are.

Bye -7 over JETS (Insert Savings Account Figure here)

For shits and giggles.....

Tease it-
Saints @ pickem
Bills +9
Browns +22
OVER 33 in the Giant/Cowboys tilt

Thursday, November 08, 2007

I know nothing

I know nothing about fantasy basketball. Really, I know nothing about the NBA, period.

I keep thinking about the super lateral play that happened last week or something (Trinity State?) and how they played against Millsap.

And all of the sudden I'm hearing about the Jazz player Paul Millsap. Just seems like a ridiculous coincidence that both Millsaps surfaced at the same time.


So here's the deal, I'm obviously running out of steam as a poster. So I propose this...you help me do something that other people have no trouble with. Coming up with topics to post about. 'Cause I apparently am not good enough to do it myself.


For your viewing pleasure:



Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Like a great Meatloaf video, its all coming back to you..

i think i might be more involved in college hoops this year. pro stuff has seemed very uninteresting so far.. well, to be honest, a lot of sports seem to have taken a backseat for me lately. i dont know what it is. it's not you.. it's me. no, actually it is you. you let yourself get fat, got stanky breath and your lack of commitment to this relationship is what's doing us in. the blame has been squarely placed on you now. and justifiably so, i might add.

ive hardly watched anything on my Sunday Ticket too. when i first got it last year, it was like i lowered my standards to watch every game possible. i loved it. it was pure unadulterated glee. red zone channel was brilliant, the multi-game channel was spectacular (especially on a super large-ass tv). but now im like.. well, i'll tune in to the good matchups (which seem like theyre on the regional channels anyway), but all that other shit has been put on timeout and placed in the corner. i actually whooped its ass before i punished it in timeout too. like dad used to say, i gave it something to cry about. i really showed it. oh and real quick about pro before we move on.. the Lions still suck, dont let the record fool you. i cant wait til they actually play a real team and get raped just so the local writers will stop with stories like yesterday's.. "theyre real close to being one of the elite teams". youre shitting me. you seriously wrote that article? and got paid for it?? naaaaaah..

but anyways, back to college hoops.. they showed some kid from Marquette or something.. he's a freshman guard and played his first game the other night and he had some pretty sick highlights. he was throwin down pretty hard and he looked like a little guy.. i dont know, it just got the juices going hoping that i can once again see some sports where there's some excitement and shit in it.

ive kinda been digging on college foosball this year though. i like that theres a little more parity and that has led to good games, even though there have been alot of shitty teams getting WAY too much pub' and recognition. i've been more into it on a broader scale though, and even though watching my Wolverines is practically fucking intolerable this year. seriously, they suck. who let them back into the top 15 anyways? i saw them at 12 last week and almost shit myself. people will try to play up that story as if theyve overcome all this crap and fought back.. but really, it aint like that. look at this year overall.. USF (?!) was at 2, BC was just there.. just look at the top 10 from any week so far this year and try not to openly scoff at like half the teams. try it, it's enjoyable. one day when they bust out the Saved By The Bell time capsule and look at this year, they will then quickly throw the rankings on the ground and piss on them.

but i digress, Lloyd blows and needs to go. does anybody else underperform with the talent they are given on a more consistent basis than that bitch? wtf. kick his old ass out. they were lucky to win the State game, and if there wouldve been enough time for State to have run the ball instead of having to rely on the pass, UM woulda lost that bitch fo' sho'. i was waiting for State to walk it back down the field and make them eat it. also, Mike Hart... love ya bro, but playing it off and saying State was the "little brother that u let get up, then u come back and beat him".. bullshit. your hobbling little ass wasnt even on the field in crunch time. you are badass back, but sit your shit down. it's annoying to hear, even from a fan on your side. but let's take a moment to reflect on the move that he put on some guys at mid-field during that game. (insert youtube clip here). and if we dont have the clip, then put the memory of it there. and if you dont have the memory, then act like you just saw a really sick juke move, cause it was hotness. the guy missed so bad that it almost looked like a glitch you'd see in a video game.

i could go drag my eyes across the wwl headlines for other stories to comment on, but theres other blogs that do that just fine already. so i'll wrap this up like i'm 'bout to stick it in a passed out skank that i found caged in TJW's basement...

we outtie 5000 y'all!

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

20yrs would be a great help

So the NBA season has finally started. I remember last year at this time, with the help of LOV, I was excited for the NBA season. Not this year. I don’t know why not, my NBA knowledge (remember knowing is knowledge) is higher than it has ever been, but I just can’t seem to bring myself to actually care. Maybe it is because of the ref stuff, maybe it is because I have had the Celtics and ‘Kobe Wants Traded’ shoved down my throat all summer, I just don’t know. All I know is that the excitement is not there. For shits ‘n giggles I will blame El Tardo.


Baseball hot stove stuff started 23 seconds after the World Series. Personally I need a little more down time than that. Maybe .0034rev months, that would be enough time for me. Perhaps the needed downtime is the reason I am not excited about the NBA.


An interesting week for the NFL; Browns go to 5-3, Pats win, Bucs win, and some other stuff happened. Really I did not pay too much attention to the games this week. Don’t know why, but I just didn’t.


Completing the NASCAR news from last week……Jeff Green in the 66. Next week I will start another half sentence.


NHL update: Ottawa has the most points. They must be the best team now.


FYI, Tom Brady, I will not wear your scent, so stay the fuck outta my magazines.


The preseason college girl’s hoops poll was released. None of the players danced on it. Which is probably a good thing.


Some sports firm is suing Reggie Bush and his family for 300K$ trying to get back gifts they gave them. I am not sure that is how gift giving works.


Well we are running behind on time so here is the first member of the over 44yr old Unspeakable Club: Kathy Ireland. Michelle Pfeiffer is guaranteed to get in as well. They are basically first ballot HOFers in my book. Why 44 you axe? Because that is how old Kathy is and I wanted her to be the first member. It’s my club, so I make the rules.


Movie Review of a movie tem has never seen: Taxi Driver.

Tem is pretty sure that this stars De Niro as a taxi driver. Basically De Niro goes around town driving his taxi and gets into all sorts of trouble (hilarity may or may not ensue). About halfway through the movie he meets this funny rabbit who has a rockin’ hot wife. The rabbit is in all sorts of trouble with the guy from Back to The Future (BtTF), not the shaking diseased Alex P. Keaton guy, but the old dude. Anyway, De Niro’s all pissed because the BtTF guy wants to make an interstate that will do away with cabs…for some reason. So De Niro goes into Toontown and with the help of his taxi kills off the BtTF guy, who it turns out was a toon himself. Also it turns out that the BtTF guy killed DeNiro’s brother who was probably played by Joe Pesci.

4.5 out of 5 helmet stickers. Tem highly recommends this movie.


FYI , next week I am in Canada or something, so someone else is gonna take my slot.

Monday, November 05, 2007

Yousa window shoppa





NFL - Indy Coats lose to NE
CFB - you can't spell BCS without BC, except this season, and every other for that matter.
NASCAR - JJ

and Paul Mcquire - stop saying "watch this" when they show a replay, we're already watching.

Friday, November 02, 2007

El Padrino's Weekly Betting Guide

I just gotta speak on this for a minute. The Patriots are not running up the score. Enough. If your losing 35-0 at halftime you suck and you deserve anything that comes your way during those next 30 minutes. How can Belichik keep his guys mentally tough and keep there stamina at a high level if they don't play the 4th quarter of a football game?

Brady's knees? Hardy-har. No one in this league has the balls to do that. This is not the 60's, 70's or 80's man. LT is gone, Buddy Ryan lives in Arizona, and Trent Green is a veggie.

NBA started. My one the record pick is Suns. NS.
They will beat the New Jersey Nets in 5 and finally hold that golden dome.

VaTech dominated and this time finished it off. Anyone catch those jerseys?

Torre in LA. So cal.

Bonds making some silly noises from his labratory.

Durant man...damn. He looks real solid. I might be going out on a limb here but he might be a star.

One Sports cliche I want to get away from is "If so and so remains healthy". It's based on the "if" system and I don't like it.

I feel like I learn more on this blog than I do anywhere else.

Tim Tebow crushes pussy.

American Gangster.

Where I Stand
Last Week:
College 4-2-1
Pros 1-4
OVERALL : 34-34-1

College
Game of the week.
ASU +7.5 over OREGON ($100)
I love the hook here. Personally I think this is going to be a phenominal game. Ducks will win in overtime by a touchdown so the hook should be your friend. ASU shows that it can play with the big boys and will win out the rest of the way securing a nice BCS Bowl game. They also have the best poon of the year, so far. After Oregon wins out and LSU struggles we could be looking at a WVU/Oregon NC game. Jus sayin'.

Like to hear it here it go......
FLORIDA crushes Vandy, they are -15.
Sconsin cover the 16 vs O State, but cummy loses and hits the bricks.
Rutgers upsets UCONN, they are +2.
Clemson -16.6, annihalates DUKE.
Nebraska cover the 20.5 over KANSAS, KU wins though.
ALABAMA +8 gives LSU a scare. Boo!
OU (-21) takes A&M behind the woodshed and waxes that ass with a wooden plank.
GEORGIA -16 beats up on Troy.

Pros
COLTS +5.5 over Pats
Every analyst in America has covered this game to ad nauseum this week but for me it's simple. For once the Colts offense is in a reverse role. Keeping Brady's offense off the field will be paramount. See I know Dungy knows his offense can't go toe-to-toe with Brady's offense. Espeacially with no Marvin Harrison, so I think 1) he' s going to try and establish a run and 2) Peyton will go a little "west coast offense" on those mofo's. Dink and dunk, Dallas Clark in the middle will be huge, maybe force Rodney H. to play corner more than he wants, and try to win the Time of Possession battle. Moreso I feel that a cover 2 scheme is better suited to stop an offense like Brady's because it takes away the big play. Since the best pound for pound guy since Tito Trinidad is playing safety he might be in position to make some killer plays. Indy being home also holds some water for me. Enjoy the game.

CHEIFS -3 over Packers ($100)

Two tough road games in row for the Packers. They have done very well too so it's hard to not take the 3 here but Arrowhead is tough. Cheifs are coming off a bye too. KC are 12-4-1 ATS in their last 17 home games. Yikes.

Denver +3 over DETROIT ($50)
Just a hunch on this one. Roll with me.

Baltimore +9 over STEELERS ($50)
9? Too high. Baltimore knows how to beat the Steelers so they will at least keep it within a touchdown. If Boller takes care of the football here is your upset pick for week 9.

Suicide - I'll roll with The Whale's Vagina or KC.

No tease this week, gotta publish this sucka.

Thursday, November 01, 2007

What do you want me to say?

Seriously, I've got nothing.

Pacers-Wiz game was fun to be at, even though the stands were half full.


Things learned last night:

Cleveland sucks.

Durant is gangly.

Durant misses lots of shots.

Luke Ridnour isn't playing at all for the Sonics, why did I draft him?

Screamin' A. Smith likes to yell.

Bill Walton and I agree on something for the first time ever.

None of the top 3 chasers has won at Texas.

Kobe wants to be traded.

Defensive 3 seconds is called a lot.

Ginobli flops.

Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"





"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug





"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino





"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino