Friday, June 29, 2007

RePoRt CaRd

Lemme break this shiat down....This might be as long as Tyler's NBA preview, so hold on.
This is only factoring first round picks.....

Po'Land (A) - What could you say? They couldn't have done wrong with either pick. This wasn't Reggie Bush/Mario Willams. These two guys are stars. Superstars. Greg Oden is not Sam Bowie. Dizude can ball and even though he never made me go wow (cept for the Gtown game) I think he's going to be a great NBA center.
UPDATE: They acquired severeal other first round picks, Rudy Fernandez and the Finland PG. What a day for them, standing fucking O.

Seattle (A) - Again, Durant = Superstar. Now the fact that they bamboozled the Celts is what gives them the A grade. Well fucking done. Jeff Green is a stud too. I would think they are going to deal one of thier 3 PG's so another deal is imminent. I wonder if Rashard Lewis is staying? If not they will be real young but real talented.

Hawks (B+) - Al Horford (did Stern have to say from the Domincan Republic?) is a beast. Outright. Eat's rebounds, blocks shots and can handle the rock. Now ATL has some balls in the paint and with pick #11 they grab a fearless PG who loves the last 2 minutes of a game. I can't believe I'm saying this but the Hawks really improved tonight.

Grizz (C) - I think Conley is a stretch at #4 overall but they need a PG real bad. I hope he shoots 1000 shots a day til training camp cuz he doesn't have much of a jumper to speak of. He can penetrate a defense though. I mean with Stromile/Gasol/Warrick/Gay and either Miller or Lowry they got something cooking. If Gasol stays.

Boston (F) - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA. Right after this trade went down SG bound and killed his wife, pumped Dooze full of roids, suffocated him, placed a copy of "Now I Can Die In Peace" by the two of them and hung himself with his Basketball Jesus throwback jersey. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA.

Bucks (D) - Someone had to take the gook. Question is, can they afford to bide 2-3 years for this guy to develop? They weren't very good last year and they really didn't improve much roster wise. Andy Katz is saying he doesn't even want to report to Milwaukee. That hurts. The nucleus of Bogut/Redd/Villanueva is going to be solid but they need more. Is this guy the next Yao Ming? The Szechun Dirk? Jury, out.

T-Wizzles (C+) - Brewer can defend, run and score. Good player. I like his game. But with Garnett being traded (most likely) they should have went with Brendan Wright.

Bobcats (D) - They grab Wright who I just mentioned, so that's three Tarheels, 2 on the front court (May & Wright) and then down at 22 they scoop Dudley. Jarod is going to be Shane Battier but without the head stretch marks that give me nightmares.
UPDATE: They trade Wright to Golden State.......for Jason Richardson. Not a good move. Never trade a young big for a streaky guard.

Chicago (C) - Eh, Noah can play D and rebound. But that's what they are paying Ben Wallace for. I know it didn't quite work out for Ben dub but Noah is kind of the same player. I thought Julian Wright was the pick here. I guess they figure Noah fits Skiles system.

Sacratomatoe (F) - Losers. Spencer Hawes is the token white stiff. They couldn't wait til round 2 and grab Aaron Gray? Take Julian here and a white stiff later. This was a disaster pick for them.

Philly (B) - They need a bunch of help. Anybody they grabbed was good enough for me. They have three picks in the first round. Thaddeus is very athletic and works hard. Cook they flipped for a 7 footer and then drafted a international star from Finland. I'll roll with that.
UPDATE: They trade the Finland kid to Portland,

New O'leanz (B) - Julian fell to them. Listen when he announced most analysts had him top 5. He dropped and Bryon Scott reaps the rewards. The guy is a solid player. This team is taking a nice shape. Good bigs, a couple of shooters and young.

Clips (B) - Thorton can ball. Dunleavey will need some patience though. The knock on this kid is that he is a bit dumb.

Deeeeetroit (B) - They loved Stuckey, they got Stuckey. I heard "dwayne wade" like. I really dunno, not gonna pretend I do so they get a standard B. I hated the Afflalo pick though. He's soft.

Wiz (A) - They needed scoring help. They drafted scoring help. Young is a nice little player. And they scored some value here. Young could have gone higher.

Brick City (B-) - Sean Marshall is a risky pick. Sort of a nut but shit, he can block a shot and defend the low block. They needed some toughness so I can't kill them here.

Golden State (B) - No clue. They say he's a good shooter but he had his worse year and may not report this year. As the case with every Intl player. I would have thought they would go with Jason Smith who ended up in Philly but they wanted a shooter.
UPDATE: I had them at a D until they stole Brendan Wright for Richardson. Well done.

Lake show (F) - Another PG. I thought they run the triangle. Isn't the PG useless in the triangle? Smush? Farmer? Now first round, gteed $$$ to another PG? Silly.....

Miami (A) - Flipped Jason Smith to Philly for a shooter in Cook. I like this. Any way to spread the floor for Wade and Shaq is a good thing.

Knickerbockers (A) - Legitimate front court. Legitimate. Randolph flanking Curry with Lee looking for clean up dunks and rebounds. Oh shit I'm officially stoked. Who cares if they took Wilson Chandler who is Renaldo Balkman but a better scorer.

Suns (C-) - Looking to tap into that international talent again. Diaw, Captain! and now Fernandez. Alando Tucker, eh. He's a nice guy. Mike D'Antoni said they think they can turn him into a shooter. We'll see.
UPDATE: They traded their pick, again. To Portland who jesus did they clean up or what.


Utah (B) - Best shooter in drafr according to many scouts. So that works because wathcing Okur throw 30 footers in the air was not fun. Solid pick.

Houston (F) - Terrible pick. Brooks is narely 6 foot, not NBA ready and with a roster that already has Luther Head/Mike James/and Alston. Van Gundy is laughing his ass off. What was wrong with Big Baby here? Or Tiago Splitter?

Spurz (B) - Getting Splitter with the 28th pick is value. The guy was a legitimate prospect two years now.

Notes:

2nd round picks I liked/disliked:
Suns getting DJ Strawberry ? Confusing, another non shooter.
Mavs getting Fazekas is nice
Portland in the 2nd round grabbing Green and Nichols out of Syracuse....I mean they had a fucking day.
The Knick pick was confusing but how could you kill them? Zeke stole a 25 yeard old bulldog and if anyone can relate or control him it may just be Thomas.
Lakers drafting last night reminded me of Ray Charles driving on the Autobahn. Just scary.

I could go on and on, this was a great draft. I'll end here so we can comment up.

Thursday, June 28, 2007

He looks at the cabinet, he walks to the cabinet, he gets close to the cabinet, now he's opening the cabinet

Prince Fielder had the goofiest slide I've ever seen. It was kind of like a belly flop, but instead of the splash of water, it was the thud of dirt and someone else's leg. A thing of beauty, no doubt.

Some dude who thinks he's the ish is reporting that Oden's going to go first. I wonder if he knows Kobe wants to be traded.

Jeff Gordon and Jimmie Johnson both get 100 point penalties plus loss of their crew chiefs for 6 races. The points don't really matter, both are solidly in the top ten, and with the depth on pit road Hendrick has, losing a crew chief isn't the worst that could happen. Especially since the chase doesn't start for another 10 races. As to whether they were cheating or not, I heard some reports that the cars fit the COT template, they just had a different measurements. Not sure how true that is.

I'm trying to get into the NBA Draft. From all indications, this class is going to be great. People keep saying it's the deepest draft in years. And yet, I can't seem to care at all. I think it has something to do with the Pacers pissing away all their draft picks. I know SG called someone blasphemous when they said Bird was a crappy GM, but you have to look at the facts. Sure he traded away problem players, but they were also pretty decent. And when you throw away your best players for nothing, you're left with nothing. I'm hoping they can swing a deal moving JO and getting back a pick.

Ryno is awesome.



And now, the moment you've all been waiting for.

Death by Piss Ice.



And now, the greatest video I will ever post. You must watch it, or you shall surely die.



For those who are blocked from YouTube here's another option.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

The sweet, comforting aroma of...




Here's lookin' at you, kiddie.

(it's real, but not mine. BK parking lot. i think it's a worker, judging by the graduation tassle hanging on the rearview. at least they're accepting it early on.)

They come in threes

Hmm...bad news, deaths, triplets, they all come in threes. We've had 2 celeb deaths in the past two(ish) days (Beck and Benoit) so we are due for one more. This seems like as a good time as any to start throwing names out there for the third death. Doing this will probably lose me more points with whatever Deity keeps track of good things I do, but I am hoping that, along with everywhere else, the standards to get in to the good afterlife place have been lowered. Anyway, I am going to go out on a limb and say the next death is going to be that snowboarder dude with the orange hair. I don't remember his name, but he is called a tomato or something. That guy is my pick. In a freak skeeball accident. Feel free to make your picks in the comments section. Helmet stickers for the original picks and if someone actually gets it right I will send them some buckeyes (the candy not the poisonous nut) and some Graeters Ice Cream (Oprah's favorite).

Random Side Note 1: I know I am in the minority on this one, but I need to bitch about a common phrase in baseball. You see I have been watching more baseball lately and have come to realize that I can not stand when the announcers say "he just evened the count at 2 and 2." I know 2 equals 2 so they are 'even'. But that's not an even count. 1 strike and you are out and 1 ball and umm the pitcher gets to pitch again. 2-2 is a pitchers count, not a hitters, it is not an even count. Like I said, I know I am in the minority, but a big FUCK YOU goes out to everyone who disagrees with me. And I will not argue about this.

As we all have seen there is a big 4 team trade being kicked around that will send KG to the Lakers. Does this mean that Kobe will take back what he said about wanting traded (again)? I think the obvious answer is yes. On a non random side note, I am still not sure why KG did not want to go to Boston. I mean, damn that basically punches his ticket to the Eastern Conference finals. Is he afraid of Lebron? He'd rather be against the Suns, Spurs and Mavs??? I'd rather go out east and be basically guaranteed a playoff spot than have to pick at the scraps that the Suns, Spurs and Mavs leave behind.

Final Random Side Note: I didn't even try to get a Paris Hilton post jail interview. I should have asked. My bad.


OK I am spent. Have at it bee snatches.

Friday, June 22, 2007

Watch me make your face beat up my hand

Garnett shits on the Celtics. This makes me chuckle.

The trade was agreed upon between McHale and Ainge but once The Big Ticket sniffed out he was going to Boston he was like "yo, yo dawg, fuck that son, they suck". And it was nixed

Hows that feel SG?

Garnett wants to go to the land of the Suns. And apparently it's possible. Unfortunately this would include Stoudemire so that might not make any sense. Being as Stoudemire is still blossoming to a dominant forward while Garnett is already a 12 year vet.

Remember the Cal Rip streak we drummed up the other day? Well Tejada was second with 1,152 consecutive games played.....He won't be second anymore .

UNC vs . OREGON STATE, another good baseball game last night. Peep the finals if you enjoy watching baseball.

Vince Young with a nice step towards being a leader, saying "We love him a whole lot, but we feel like he don't care about us right now" in reference to Pac-Man Jones.

I think the NBA draft is a week or two away. I know this cuz i smell the ink on newly leased cares across the country with 22's son.

any man that willingly see's this movie and talks about it will be hung by the fleshy patch that used to be your nuts

Today i have an entemmans Chocolate Mud Cake.

Thursday, June 21, 2007

The Way We Get By

Another round of name that song title. Go.

The Cubs trade of Barrett still puzzles me a bit. He wasn't performing up to defensive or offensive expectations, but still, I don't see how you can give (probably) one of the top 10 catchers up for a backup C and and some kid OF who's hitting .219 in the minors. I've just seen waaaaaay too many deals by the Cubs come back and bite the organization.

Some news that I don't know how to react to. Sammy hit his 600th. I know lots and lots of people think he took steriods, but I'm gonna be biased as hell and say he didn't. There's no grand jury testimony where he admits to using (hello Barry), and yes, he was very vague at the congress thing, but that ain't a guarantee. For years, Sammy was the only thing the Cubs had. I guess that bought him my loyalty.

So, after throwing a huge hissy fit over Jeff Burton's sponsor changing from Cingular to AT&T when Cingular was bought out, NASCAR has switched from Nextel to Sprint as a title sponsor after Nextel was bought out. Makes loads of sense, right? Although, the new title (Sprint Cup) sounds more race-y.

And now, for your viewing pleasure:

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

REGG-AAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!

"I don't know whether to smile or kick a field goal!"

****

My current FAVORITE HEAD COACH is Reginald K. Theus who is now hookin' it up with the Kings. nicely played. NICELY played. I mean sheeet, who else can go from pretend hike skool to mediocre college to mid-to-low-tier nba franchise and STILL have time to keep his 'curl gleaming with a shiny layer of Afro-Sheen?

Got-taaaamn Reggie Theus, that's who! (And he's iconic like Shaft, too.) And this time, we've found a "Reggie" without a loud mouth sister who tries to steal his camera time. (Bitch, pleeze.)

Anybody else look like Alex Rodriguez and Michael Jackson had a love child?

Nah. Nuh-yuh. Didnt think so. The man is a legend.. in the Billy D Williams sense of the word. Lionel Richie loves you baby. Gerald Levert also called, said you're still on for lunch.

Seriously though Reg, and I swear I'm not clowing you, but I LOVED Hang Time. You think you'd be available for another season sometime soon? Maybe by all-star break or end of the year? Nah, i'm kidding, Reg. Of course theyll keep you at least 3 years, even if you totally suck. They've got to show loyalty to the ex-guys no matter how much of a bit-player you were.

It's all good though. Keep the Barry Melrose-if-he-were-black haircut rockin'. We love your heart and souuuuuuul (train). Oh, and we roll tape on "Thriller" in 5 minutes.. make sure to hit makeup and then get on set..

That's all you get today. Me ragging on Reggie Theus.
Entertain yourselves..


---And diseased weasel, feel free to release your weekly rankings on Thursdays instead from now on. We can clip this thing before it gets started. You can have "Toolbox Thursdays" all to yourself. Or something. Just leave Wednesdays alone. What did it ever do to you?

Don't look now

Don't look now, but another Bengal got arrested (Quincy Wilson). And I am proud to say it was another West Virginia Mountaineer! WVU is the new thug University. I couldn't be prouder. I think I am going to have to get a degree from there. I wonder if I could transfer some credits from my undergrad to WVU and get a degree by taking one email class or something. I am going to look into this.

Random side note 1: Quincy is from just up the river from where I grew up.

Chone Figgins 6 for 6! Damn. Apparently my offer to sell my soul to the devil was rejected and the devil chose Chone's instead. I guess that was a good move on the Devil's part. Chone's got me beat on the athletic front. I am pretty sure hell has no use for someone who can add. If hell had an NFL style draft I'd go undrafted. MLB style, I'd go in the 157th round.

Speaking of drafts the NHL draft is this weekend! Actually I am not excited for it and do not care about it. The only reason I know about it is because it is being held in Columbus. I thought about going for about 1 millisecond then determined my time would be better spent scratching my balls....even if they don't itch.

Random side note 2: Volleyball last night was high quality. It was hot as hell outside so there were many a scantily clad female. It was hard to concentrate, but I managed. Of course there is this one 60+ yr old that apparently thinks she is 18. She was a pair of shorts that say 'hottie' on the ass away from dying. I would have kilt her if she was wearing shorts with words on her ass. Of course I made it a point not to look at her ass, so maybe she did have words on her ass. All I am saying is that 60yr olds should not be playing sand volleyball in just a sports bra.

And finally Good News! Isaac Newton says that the apocalypse won't happen until after 2060. I'll be pretty old at that point, so I guess I am fine with that. Unless of course modern medicine figures out a way to make me immortal or something. Then I'd be pretty bummed if the apocalypse happened. Of course, if I were to make a list of things I'd want to see the apocalypse would be right up there with a J. Alba and J. Beil nekkid mud wrestling match and a stripper doing the hokey pokey. Of course for the apocalypse I don't really want it to happen, but if it is going to happen, I want to see it.

Monday, June 18, 2007

GOAT my ass.

Tiger is a fraud, a front runner, a choke artist.




































(S)

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Kinda wish I had a Sonic nearby

Beckett loses his first game, Yanks win ninth straight, ATL bullpen gives Hudson the finger (again), St.Louis gets date raped in K.C, Kendall with a rare HR, Angels continue to punish bad pitching teams, Sheets goes over 1000K's, Nats sweep the Tejada's, Loe twirls a shutout, Cubbies come from behind at home, Germano is a hermano, and the Indians hold on.

Oh and the Spurs won another title.

Carry on.

Running late

Something more.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

"Which one is it?"

"It's the one that says 'Bad Motherf*cker' on it".

-Jules




Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you last year's Rookie of the Year and now a certified BAMF, Justin Verlander. If you haven't seen the highlights, please watch them on the right side of that page. Just watch for the 9th inning KO's and it'll tell ya all ya need to know about our boy. That ish is sick. And He and Bondo are a filthy combo. Brew Crew, thanks for dressin' out. Woulda thought the D would've had more than 6 no-no's in their history. Just seemed a bit low...


I love baseball.


And on a real shocking note, there was another win by the same team in hoopsketball. I think I would stop short of jumping off a bridge or something, but I'm pretty sure I'd do close to anything else before watching any of this series. I think I would even try to light myself on fire, if the occasion presented itself. Please stop televising and reporting on this. Cooked. Like Thanksgiving ham. Give me whatever the hell league Tem was talking about yesterday instead. Can we get the "lingerie models playing football" things that they air during halftime of the Super Bowl? Can we Spike Lee ranting about the white man or government (his choice)? Will you hollow my anus out with a sharp spear? Literally, anything else.

I love those SNL sketches where they were always trying to out-do each other's "literally". "I would literally rather... drink goat blood, fondle your grandmother's sweaty dark parts and have needles jammed into every inch of my body at the same time." Fookin hilar'. I just heard someone saying 'literally' and the following something totally idiotic the other day (I can't remember what it was, but trust me it was one of those times that they were not kidding at all.. and then people kinda stop and stare for a sec..) That is when it is not funny. Though today I will crown "literally day". We need something to get the week going as it's been kinda slow around here during the day..

So GIVE me YOUR BEST "literally" in the COMMENTS section. Tell me HOW and WHY you came up with your "literally" or just tell me YOUR FAVORITE one! Me personally, I actually HAVE fondled someone else's grandmother's SWEATY REGIONS!

Oh, and stop with the "Tony's Wedding" crap on SC. Someone, quick, scrounge up a small animal, tie me down, and let it eat out my eyes. I don't need some guy from Fra-AWNCE to tell me where skank and hubby will be chillin' for the wedding. Let's report on something much gayer, please? (I don't usually like to say something's "gay", but there are certain times when it is totally appropriate and no other word can be used.) Actually, the worst offenders are probably the TV game crews.. they probably cut to her every time he touches the ball. I'm assuming they are constantly having to plug her show too.. WOW! What a sweet tie-in! A marketer's wet one. These nuisances, in addition to the wretched matchup which has been lain before us, are reasons that I don't give a rat's furry ass to care about the Niba Finals. I kinda dig the Spurs as a team. I think they play really great basketball and are a good watch when matching up with a competent or similiar team. I'm not hating LeBron either, I would love to see him in there with a halfway unshitty team, but this is just not happening. This CLE team is wretched. I hope every one of the Pistons is not quite ready to show their face around town for a few months... they should be fricking ashamed. Thanks for sucking.

Oh, and Phil, who is just coming off recent breast reduction surgery, is said to be playing in the US Open. I am going to assume that that is this weekend. It might be next weekend though, and they're just getting ready with all the media hoopla that surrounds these golf tourneys that never seem to make out with much of a storyline. You want the studs in it, but then the little guy wins, then we wait 18 hours and we've forgotten about him (and rightly so). And if Tiger wins, god forbid, every golf columnist and tv analyst is squeezing out another steaming pile of non-interesting hyperbole and verbally (literally?) slobbing on the guy's knob. Golf. Who needs ya.

Sleep. Who needs ya? Me.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Kapow Kapow Right In The Eye

AFL football is prepping for the playoffs. 2 games to go and a lot of teams are locked in already. There are still a few spots left to be decided. Take a peek at the AFL standings, they are amazingly top heavy. I suspect none of you care. That's OK, I barely care. The point is, AFL playoffs are a couple weeks away and playoffs are exciting at all levels of football.

Obviously its a slow time in sports if I am leading off this stuff with the AFL. WWL has an interesting question on it's front page. "The first two games of the NBA Finals haven't been competitive. Why?" Wait, did I say interesting? I meant stupid. Why??? First off they sound like DS and that ain't good folks. Second, why?!!?!?? Because the Spurs are A LOT better. It is really as simple as that. The Cavs might steal one at home so the NBA can get 5 games in, but I doubt. Last week I said the Cavs would win the series because everyone thought the Spurs would win and usually everyone is a bunch of dumbshits. I guess they weren't in this case.

Of course now if the Cavs come back to win this shit I will look stupid....well stupider.

Why not us fans got some good news with McNabb coming back to practice sooner than expected. (Yes I know Why Not Us = Phillies. But I am assuming Phillies Fan = Eagles Fan). So that's the upside, the downside is that it just means he will get hurt sooner in the season now. Hahahahahahaha, I bet at least 1,000 sportswriters make that joke. They probably already have. I'd say call it 1,001, but I ain't no sports writer.

Some WNBA chick quit midseason, they are spinning it as a retirement. No, that's quitting. The only way I'll cut her some slack is if she has a disease or if she is pregnant. Otherwise, she is a quitter. So, whatever your name is, you are a quitter. I'd bring more heat, but she is a girl and I don't want to hurt her feelings. It is not safe to assume that she has the iron nerves of LOV's own Beth. Although since she is in the WNBA it is safe to assume that she munches on the box.

Random Side Note 1 and only: OK lawyer type folk, so that judge voided the sentence of that Georgia kid who got screwed and was sent to prison for statutory rape. Does he (the kid not the judge) still have to register as a sex offender when he gets out, or does the voiding of the sentence mean he doesn't? Also, could they have gotten a gayer looking dude to do the article about this on the WWL? I honestly couldn't read the article because of this dude's picture.

OK, so the US Open is on soon. Be prepared for 1,000 showings of Tin Cup. I actually like that movie because Cheech is in it and Renee Russo is smoking hot. I can't watch it 1,000 times though. Once a year is probably more than enough.

Well it is 9am, so I better stop writing. Somehow I turned a nothing sports day into a longer post than usual. I blame global warming.

Have at it bee snatches.

Sunday, June 10, 2007

I assure you...

I actually meant to post this here at LOV.

I found some weekend free time. I figured I'd remind all of you that I am still paying attention.

And I ain't got much to bring. But screw it. I'm bringing it anyway.

To all of you complaining that I don't change my teams enough in FBBL, you're right. When I joined up, I thought I'd have more time and energy to do it. But I'm finding that is just not there. I'm telling you, this lack of internet freedom during the day is killing me. The job is cool. That's the only part that sucks.

Let me put it to you this way... are you working too much if you're actually considering taking a mental health day off just to sit around the house and surf the net? I actually am considering doing that. If I do that, rest assured I will come to LOV with a vengeance that day.

So what can I say about the sports world today?

- No one cares about the Belmont Stakes if there is no triple crown at stake. I think they should just cancel the Belmont Stakes if different horses win the Derby and the Preakness. Would anyone really care if they did this?

- If the San Antonio Spurs win the finals, I say they are then a better overall dynasty than the mid-80's Celtics. Winning in '03, '05, and '07 would be damn impressive. And they even have a '99 title to throw in there. 4 titles in 9 seasons puts them one under the output of the 80's Lakers. That's big time company to be in. But the problem is... the Spurs are just not that damn exciting to me. I do say Tim Duncan is one of the best of all-time, but watching him play to me is as exciting as watching bugs have sex.

- While I was writing this, I checked out the Lakers website. Only because I was reminding myself exactly how many titles the Lakers did win in the 80's. And I happened to catch a glimpse of a picture of Jeannie Buss on the Lakers homepage. And I must submit this. She is damn hot. And I think she's in her 40's by now, isn't she? I just hadn't looked at a pic of her for a while. Sweet Beejezus, she is hot!

But... what makes her blog so damn important that you have to register on the Lakers' website for access to it? I swear, they make you sign up just to read what she has to say about the Lakers. I was stunned at that. Really, is she saying anything on that thing that is worth creating a username for? Is she retelling her sex stories with Phil Jackson or something?

- You know what... this is the first time in a long time that I can say that I am sitting here and I have absolutely no clue what the score right now is in a major sporting finals. Really, at this moment of writing, I honestly could not tell you what the score is in the Stanley Cup Finals. If you held a gun to my head, I couldn't tell you. And I used to love hockey in my day.

Oh shit... I just looked it up and realized that the Ducks won the cup on Wednesday. Damn!

Judging by the ratings the NHL got for the Cup Finals, most of America probably didjn't realize it either. I think the old XFL got higher ratings for NBC than the Stanley Cup did.

Oh crap... I just realized Freak wrote about the Ducks winning on Thursday. Man, I really oughta start paying attention more.

That's all I got. Why not us?

Thursday, June 07, 2007

Whoever dies last please turn out the lights

I'm in a foul mood. If it wasn't for the fact that it is Friday I'd be even worse.
A Why not us sweep? At home. Disgusting.

The only thing that made yesterday "relevant" was the Schilling no-hit bid in Oakland that was broken up in the ninth with 2 outs. Shannon Stewart is my hero.

Let me breakdown the MLB draft for everyone.
David Price, LHP from Vandy was Tampa's pick. Went #1 overall obviously. He scheduled for Tommy John Surgery on April 24th, 2009.



that is all.



Moving on to Game one of the Finals....

Whoever didn't foresee Lebron struggling in Game 1 just doesn't have a feel for the game. It was obvious to me. An 0-fer in the first half, 4-16 for the game and the SpUrS beat up on Cleavland rocks for a Game one victory. Like most people I say Spurs win but not in 5. In 4.
Get out the brooms San Antonio.

Torii (two I's) Hunter says there will be no blacks at all 10 years from now. Because you can buy Latin American players with a lot less money than you could for a black kid in America.
His actual quote is hereTorii agreeing with Sheff . I forgot all black kids come from Compton. Silly me.

And honestly I can't stomach the race issue anymore. If anyone should have an axe to grind it's the Indians. They got bamboozled.

And Paris, if Martha can do it....SO CAN YOU!

Tits.

I'm not watching that

So in case you were wondering, they just finished playing hockey for the year. (I know, I know, you're thinking, "what's hockey") Another hockey HOTBED won the cup this year. I know that whenever I think of hockey I think of Anaheim. The only thing I'm upset about is that they aren't called the "Mighty" Ducks anymore. What the hell kind of mascot is a duck? Unless your duck is mighty, it's worthless. I don't understand how becoming unmighty can net you the championship. Stupid system if you ask me.

I definitely wasn't watching that, but I will for certain be watching this next event.

HA-UUUGE deal happening today. Today will help determine who's going to be an everlasting star and who's going to be a bust. It only comes around once a year, and man, I am stoked.

I'm of course talking about the Rule 4 draft for the MLB. 2 PM ET on ESPN2...don't miss it.

Oh, and there's some basketball thing happening.

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Extra, Extra! Kobe Bryant denies his earlier denial and says trade still on!

I sat down like i was gonna write something here, but nothing ever came.




Talk amongst yourselves.






gooddaytoyou.

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

FU Remember Me

1st off I'd like to give a big EFFFFFFF YOOOOOUUUUUU to the remember me button on blogger. It never remembers. I could have been here 2 minutes ago and that bastard forgets already. I hate it.

Random side note 1: Traffic is not as bad at 7am as I expected. Who knew? I thought lots of people got up that early to go to work. Turns out I was wrong.

2nd off the WWL is saying that leaving the NBA could result in Billy D getting banned from the NBA. Wasssa what? If this isn't just some dickweed writer trying to make up a story I don't know what is.

Now let's get to my NBA analysis. I think the Cavs will get their asses handed to them. Most everyone else thinks the same thing. So of course Cavs win this series in 6 or 7 games. David Stern likes to prove us all wrong. Plus he is getting some great odds betting the Cavs.

Random side note 2: Last night I had a dream that I was trapped in cheese. I had it over and over again and woke up every 30 minutes. The only good part is that each time I was trapped with someone different. The bad part was it was always a combination of two people from history. I remember these combos: Noah/Hitler, Joan of Arc/Bill from Bill and Ted's, Chester Arthur/Jesus and Napoleon/Wilt Chamberlain. Needless to say at some point I just gave up on sleeping and came to work. FYI Nitler was the best. Imagine Noah building an ark to get out of the cheese but with a Hitler mustache and a Nazi uniform...and the worst german accent you can imagine.

Oh, Tank Johnson got 8 games. Not sure how much play that got on LOV. I guess that seems in line with all the other fines Goodel is tossing out there. I guess. I'm still not positive that this dude isn't just on a power trip.

The French Open is going on. That sounds like a good name for a porno, but apparently it is just a tennis tournament. 100% chance some foreign guy wins. Foreign to me at least.

Random side note 3: Did the SG pod cast thing die out after the reality show guy? I guess that hit rock bottom pretty quickly. Of course then again I don't think it had far to fall.

OK, its time for me to go into a meeting and pretend I know what I am talking about, so have at it bee snatches.

Monday, June 04, 2007

Text 187 to 666 for DEEEEZZZZZ NUTTTTZZZZ

Billy D going back to FLA?

TP just ejaculated.


*standard text message rates apply

Friday, June 01, 2007

It's alright cuz your saved by the bell

There can't be any hate on this. There just can't. 25 consecutive points to win the game, on the road, swing game, against a team that plays great defense. How could you hate?

What can you say? Trying to hate on this would remind me of an old friend of mine who would pick apart girls when we were out. He'd say silly things like, "oh, she has big eyes" or "yuck, did you she the way she walks?". Cmon, even a true hater would be hard pressed to criticize this performance.

I'm not comparing him to MJ cuz I hate that but fuck, at least MJ had Pippen and Ho Grant and better shooters than anyone on the Cavs. Last night will be talked about ad nauseum so get used to it. I figured I'd get it out of the way early.

Congrats A-Rod. your more hated then Bonds. When asked if Bonds ever try to distract a player from making a play he quickly responded "No". This makes me laugh. The only way A-Rod becomes lovable (which he so dearly wants) is simple to me.

Break Bonds needle induced record.

We all know A-Rod did not do steroids (not definitevely but consesus is, he didnt) and we know this because he's always been super super talented and big. Strong, fast the whole nine yards.

He sits at 464 Hr's. He's 31. If he plays nine more years and averages a very pedestrian 33 Hr's a year. He'll break it. Unless Bonds puts serious distance to the record. Then he'd have to either play 10 more or avg about 38 hr's. Doable. It will be interesting to see the fan's response because no one else will be close to knocking Bonds off that crooked pedestial.

Billy D = Penny and Shaq are not walking thru that door

Way to go NHL. The spelling bee aired instead of your game. Bettman your a joke.

Vick will be indicted shorty. Without sounding racist, I told you so.

Remember it's FRIIIDAY!!!!

Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"





"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug





"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino





"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino